Vampires is probably the worst movie I have ever seen at a theater.
ugh I saw this in the theater too. was actively angry/irritated when it was over
― satisfying punishment for that thing he said about lesbians (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 26 August 2011 20:31 (twelve years ago) link
I remember feeling aggravated when it was done as well. It was just so aggressively dumb and terrible.
― ¯\(°_o)/¯ (Nicole), Friday, 26 August 2011 20:35 (twelve years ago) link
Vampires and Ghost of Mars were both total shit, and each time they underperformed and got terrible reviews, Carpenter started whoa is me-ing. Oh, my budget was too small, oh they were mismarketed, oh we didn't get the cut we wanted, oh, you should have seen the original script. Romero pulls the same shit, too. And then they inevitably make a come-back low-budget return to roots movie that sucks, too. At least Carpenter doesn't pretend to be anything other than totally burnt out.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 26 August 2011 20:35 (twelve years ago) link
Carpenter slagging off Cronenberg as being too high-falutin for his own good these days is lolzy
― satisfying punishment for that thing he said about lesbians (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 26 August 2011 20:37 (twelve years ago) link
Also, Carpenter in particular seems very happy to accept checks after people remake his films. Halloween, The Thing, The Fog, Precinct 13. Even an Escape from New York remake has been in the works for a while.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 26 August 2011 20:39 (twelve years ago) link
xpost To be fair, Cronenberg is totally in I Want an Oscar mode these days.
well whatever, Cronenberg has also continued to make decent movies, unlike Carpenter.
― satisfying punishment for that thing he said about lesbians (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 26 August 2011 20:42 (twelve years ago) link
No contest! Cronenberg in Oscar mode has been great!
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 26 August 2011 20:48 (twelve years ago) link
But unlike Carpenter, he totally bristles at being pegged a horror director. Which Carpenter reads as an implicit slight.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 26 August 2011 20:49 (twelve years ago) link
yeah, Carpenter gives him shit for considering himself an "artiste"
― satisfying punishment for that thing he said about lesbians (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 26 August 2011 21:24 (twelve years ago) link
first viewing of mouth of madness left me flat, but i recall i was all 'ooh a new carpenter film it will be great'. then of course second viewing was more of a neutral position and i actually enjoyed it.
can't say the same for mars and vampire, they are awful.
The whole spooky recorded sections in Prince of Darkness still crop up in my mind as one of the creepiest things i've seen in movies ever.
― Summer Slam! (Ste), Friday, 26 August 2011 22:11 (twelve years ago) link
Ghosts Of Mars isn't *bad* per se - it's just a rewrite of Precinct 13 with a little bit of Outland thrown in. Vampires is still the bottom point.
― Stockhausen's Ekranoplan Quartet (Elvis Telecom), Friday, 26 August 2011 22:24 (twelve years ago) link
but there was no ice cream van scene!
― Summer Slam! (Ste), Friday, 26 August 2011 22:28 (twelve years ago) link
In Darwinian terms: How would a Thing even evolve? Would it evolve intelligence? Would it need to?
Interesting exploration of this by excellent biologist and sci-fi author Peter Watts in his story 'The THings', which won all sorts of awards/nominations last year. http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/watts_01_10/
― not bulimic, just a cat (James Morrison), Saturday, 27 August 2011 01:39 (twelve years ago) link
vampires has some cool gore effects and a fun james woods performance going for it, but the second half is awful. ghosts of mars doesnt have a single creative or interesting moment in it, and to me signals the moment where he was no longer capable of making energetic movies on low budgets. then again, i thought his masters of horror ep was pretty good. memoirs is pretty bad all the way through. christine isnt very good by the standards of his early stuff. havent seen The Ward yet but i havent heard anything good.
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i_qxQztHRI (Princess TamTam), Saturday, 27 August 2011 01:54 (twelve years ago) link
bah i am going to have start 'refining' my 'all horror movies w sam neil in them are grate' theory eg possession, in the mouth of madness, dead calm, the omen 3 (hang on...)
― Ward Fowler, Friday, August 26, 2011 11:54 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark
EVENT HORIZON explodes that theory :(
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i_qxQztHRI (Princess TamTam), Saturday, 27 August 2011 01:57 (twelve years ago) link
the omen 3 does rule though
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i_qxQztHRI (Princess TamTam), Saturday, 27 August 2011 02:03 (twelve years ago) link
Cronenberg always watchably entertaining and interesting, even when he's committing an "honorable failure" (filming unfilmable novels! the clue is in the word "unfilmable"!)*, but -- big caveat: existenZ was the last i saw -- he's NEVER made a film as flawless as The Thing.
*Even as failures, Crash and Naked Lunch aren't remotely down in a league with Vampires: I'm glad they were made, and both have excellent individual scenes, they just don't really gel, in themselves or as translations of the source material. With NL this is as much as anything an allergy on my part to the RoboCop guy, actually.
― mark s, Saturday, 27 August 2011 11:57 (twelve years ago) link
Cronenberg's films always too studiedly "illustrational" for my tastes: he's making a politico-philosophical DO-YOU-SEE point, albeit often quite an unusual one, at least the the time, before the point became a much-borrowed cliche. So yes, he's grossing people out, but with a (Perverse) Moral Nostrum embedded; he too often fails to goose-cum-creep those who are already onside with his idea, maybe. He's not as bad as Clive Barker in this regard.
― mark s, Saturday, 27 August 2011 12:04 (twelve years ago) link
Ugh/LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qhqQ6F0l1o
― Woolen Scjarfs (Phil D.), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 17:28 (twelve years ago) link
lol'ing right off the bat at use of Friday the 13th trademark sound effect
― I saw Mike Love walk by a computer once (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 17:29 (twelve years ago) link
da thing
― am0n, Tuesday, 20 September 2011 17:31 (twelve years ago) link
this movie does not look very good.
― WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 19:46 (twelve years ago) link
you can use that for the pull quote
― WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 19:47 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.revelinnewyork.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/gallery_main/recommendations/photos/thething.jpg
― HOOTERS FOOD AND BEVERAGE (Pillbox), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 20:02 (twelve years ago) link
really couldn't care less about the cgi but this looks so tragically BRIGHT and high-key and bland
― occam's hellraiser (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 20:59 (twelve years ago) link
no one knows how to shoot movies anymore
tell it to Christian Nyby
― incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 21:16 (twelve years ago) link
fuck off, Carpenter version's better than the Hawks movie.
― occam's hellraiser (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 21:19 (twelve years ago) link
^^^realness
― I saw Mike Love walk by a computer once (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 21:24 (twelve years ago) link
nothing i've seen so far here is a deal-breaker; i mean yes i complained upthread about the look - it is all gleaming and contrasty and teal and orange and people's hair looks great - but that's just what movies look like these days. i mean regardless i am going to see the fuck out of this.
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 21:43 (twelve years ago) link
The final scene in the Carpenter version totally makes the movie for me
― If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Friday, 30 September 2011 22:46 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8faq5amdK30
― DavidM, Wednesday, 12 October 2011 20:45 (twelve years ago) link
a+
― lagerfeld of modern despots (latebloomer), Wednesday, 12 October 2011 20:48 (twelve years ago) link
amazing! i thought it was a real Sinatra song for a good 30 seconds.
― piscesx, Thursday, 13 October 2011 13:57 (twelve years ago) link
The prequel opens tonight at midnight...
― citation needed (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 13 October 2011 14:48 (twelve years ago) link
this really isn't all that good.
― jed_, Sunday, 12 February 2012 03:00 (twelve years ago) link
but on the other hand it is
― Little GTFO (contenderizer), Sunday, 12 February 2012 05:10 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWPx-fw0mI8
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 12 February 2012 05:16 (twelve years ago) link
jed u talkin about the remake.... right???
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 12 February 2012 15:58 (twelve years ago) link
which remake?
― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 12 February 2012 16:03 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToCq_c3wOM8
― mark s, Sunday, 12 February 2012 16:13 (twelve years ago) link
oh boo
― mark s, Sunday, 12 February 2012 16:14 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82164665/
― mark s, Sunday, 12 February 2012 16:16 (twelve years ago) link
omg lol
― Summer Slam! (Ste), Sunday, 12 February 2012 18:31 (twelve years ago) link
^ remake stakes were impossibly high
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 12 February 2012 18:33 (twelve years ago) link
Best scene in v minor (tho v beguiling) Thing-remake* "The Faculty": when Alien Jon Stewart -- for it is he -- is stopped in his tracks with a pen-case full of crystal meth stabbed into his eye
(The kids who defeat the alien render themselves inviolable by DOING DRUGS THEY MAKE THEMSELVES: there's some script flummery that the drug is "caffeine and other household shit", but the guy saying it is TOTALLY LYING obviously)
This is the film that Reality Bites should have been: with Selma Hayek in the Winona role. There's even actually a Gen X ref in the tidy-up montage, alongside Elijah's mugg on a mag cover you only spot for a moment...
*They very carefully cheerfully and geekily lampshade-hang all the OTHER films/stories it remakes: viz Bodysnatchers, Puppetmasters etc. There's a whole Whedon-esque scene where they gameplan their fightback by discussing science-fiction plot cliches. But (TELLINGLY) they don't mention The Thing.
― mark s, Tuesday, 14 February 2012 11:15 (twelve years ago) link
only beguiling thing in The Faculty was the bit where attractive woman from 'Defying Gravity' chases the 'hero' for extended period of time while nude
― Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 23:11 (twelve years ago) link
The Faculty was probably the best movie Robert Rodriguez has ever been involved in imho
― max buzzword (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 23:13 (twelve years ago) link
i'm not arguing with that
― Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 23:19 (twelve years ago) link