Why doesn't everyone in the world want to shag Shayne Carter?

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Shayne "Love Cushions" Carter, hunny do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"love cushions" sounds like he has had breast implants

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no, just collagen injections

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

you two are so much more forward than me. i don't have a chance in hell.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hrmph. You know what I look like Hamish, I dont really have a chance at all. do I want a chance? I dont know. there are far more entertaining people out there I am sure. J'son perhaps?

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i got this off his website: Shayne Carter / Dimmer NB: all mail to this address goes via Dimmer Management. shayne@dimmer.co.nz

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yes hamish, i'm sure shayne would be flattered by my desperation

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

somehow I dont think this thread will get past management. A rock star is like a race horse you know, sensitive, highly strung, well hung. Well they should be anyway

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Why don't you just shag each other? Or did y'all already jump those bones?

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

because none of us look like Shayne Carter silly.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Who's seen the insert to the Doublehappy's "Cut it Out" EP that features Shayne Carter in his underwear?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Haven't seen it Hamish. Is it worth while?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

is that the one with the paper dolls? damn the doublehappys, the murdering monsters were going to have paper dolls of ourselves in our lathecut, but they damn well bet us to it (albeit by about 15 years or so).

actually i lied on the "so how many people have you shagged" thread. i am a virgin. sex with anyone other than shayne carter doesn't really count as sex.

i bet you enjoyed the video for "done", didn't you hamish? you pervert.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

can't remember - i think Liz has a copy for you to drool over.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no i haven't seen the video to "done". whats in it?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

right, I definitely will be making the long trek up the hill for that baby. David, if you are especially lucky we may be so overcome by Shayne Carters beautiful body that we have an impromptu orgy which I will tell you about in grotesque and technicolour detail.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

menelaus, are you matt middleton? ;)

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish I was, but I can't handle the ide that pornography is demystifying womens sexuality. I would approve if there was an 0900 number demystifying Matt's...

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh hamish... he's got his shirt off in that vid. phwoor! i have almost every Shayne Carter videoclip ever made, on videos labelled "Shayne Carter's Love Cushions: Volumes 1, 2 and 3." it has everything from "The Others Way" and "Needles and Plastic" to "Evolution" and "randolph's Going Home".

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

see i am more in love with shayne than you are. but i'll let you be vice-president of the fan-club.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh thanks i'll have to borrow the video off you sometime. i haven't seen "needles and plastic" either.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

Gasp! So you get to sleep with Shayne every night then?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

easy Hamish, just call your duvet Shayne Carter.

I think I need to see these videos too

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I most certainly do. I bet you didn't know that the man responsible for such gems as "Needles and Plastic" was in real life a purple care-bear.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is Shayne Carter the pin-up boy from Flying Nun? Can a meaningful relationship be had with him, or is it all about sheer desire? Have I seen him live once? (Yes I have, with the Fits in 1993.) Can Brian do a spot-on imitation of him lisping the chorus to "She Screams"? (Yes he can.) Shayne Carter, ladies and gents! The man who will forever be known as the guy who sometimes collaborates with Alastair Galbraith.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

damn right, when we've all forgotten what he looks like he'll only be remembered for his guest appearances on the second and third Alastair Galbraith albums.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Are you trying to tell me, Ned, that i can't have a meaningful relationship with my teddy bear? I'll show you! My teddy bear has feelings, he bleeds just like anyone else.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

When I was a fresher, I went to a Shayne Carter gig at Arc. Shayne was quite rude to the audience and straight off first thing he said that he "wasnt fucken gonna play 'she speeds'". Nobody had even asked him to.

― rainy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes rainy thats a good reason why some people might not want to shag Shayne Carter. My desire is based on the fact that i've never met him.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I really don't like teh way Shayne is spelt with a y, it seems somehow wrong, tarting up a good panelbeater's name like that.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Does anyone know when Shayne's book is soming out?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Its a response to Matthew Bannister's "Positively George Street", not Madonna's "Sex".

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish he would put poetry and musings in it like Jewel. maybe I could get one for the coffee table

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i have heard from many rports that shayne is an egotistical arrogant self-centred prat. that just makes me want him more.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

he said his book would have less lyrics in it than Matthew's so we won't get to see his beautiful teenangst lines in print. Whats everyone's favourite Shayne Carter lyric?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"her speeding and her freedom's what's appealing to me to stop her in her tracks"

I don't like the lyric in "Hail" about heads exploding. otherwise, i love that song.

― Shayne's Sex Slave, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

just wanted to post so I could sign off

― Shayne's bit on the side, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

how could you menelaus? i thought we were friends!

― The Mother Of Shayne's Children, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

bye Menelaus. i'm stuck at the computers for a few more hours 'cos i'm trying to do some actual work (haha).

How about "My Gibson whispers nothing to me?" That one elways cracks me up.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no, no! i am not leaving, I ws just signing that particular post with a phrase to inspire Di to greater creativity.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

what song is that from hamish? which album etc?

― The Woman Who Will Be Holding Shayne Carter's Hand As He Breathes His Dying Brea, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

it was Quiet Come off Melt.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My band got asked to support dimmer.

I play a left-handed SG, just like him. (yeah, so its not my guitar, the point is i play it and its just like his!)

― We Can Be Together In The Afterlife Shayne, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

If I can't have him I will be

― the woman who borrows Duane's van to run Shayne Carter over, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hey di you know i posted this link to the dimmer webpage don't you? and that this is gonna come up in search engines in ten years time everytime anyone seraches for anything to with him?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have only heard Melt once. didn't he look beautiful in the video of "bad note fpor a heart"? i think he was wearing make-up.

(waits for Shayne's post: "Ewww, I am a manly man, i do nt wear make-up!", to which i reply "You are right, oh man of my dreams, you do not require any enhancement, you are perfection."

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

are you kidding hamish? i am going to the dimmer page to check up on you RIGHT NOW.

― My Love For Shayne Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Manly man yeah right, hes as faggy as that other closet celebrity Tom Cruise. Face it di and menelaus, neither of you stand a chance - you don't have the required apparatus.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My strap on is bigger than yours hamish

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh okay Mene you win. i'm sure Duane's van will come in useful for the consummation of your relationship with Shayne.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes, and I'll promise not to reverse afterwards

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Skipping 123 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

yeah jason ballard still does live on the corner of tennyson st with that fat guy. he goes out even less than me so it's blue moon time if you ever see him tho. but thanks for reminding me of that guy, i oughta go round & see him & yeah when i do i will axe him about that tape.

― peter rodd, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

say hi from me. and how are you yr own self, by the way?

― c., Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

real good right now! the sun's shining & i'ma go to the beach, swim in the salt water pool at st clair. it'd be so great if you were here man!

― d\rag, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

hey doorag, sorry for piking but i am afraid of freezing cold water and also i have a lecture in 50 minutes.

― di, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

i have always been here before

― c., Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm sorry I missed out on the st clair too - did you see the Vienna boys' choir there? Apparently they went to st clair and had a picnic and some time at the beach that day.

― halo halo, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

no i didnt see em but when i'm swimming i don't have my spectacles on so i can't see too good.

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

four weeks pass...

hey everyone i think i just saw shayne carter at records records!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 03:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hamish, I can't really believe that you want to sleep with Shayne Carter. I just can't believe it!

― maryann, Wednesday, 21 August 2002 03:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

So why does he sneer all the time like an "intense" 13 yearold? And is that meant to be sexy? I used to see him on K'rd all the time and I just wanted to give him a wedgie or something to stop him looking so silly. Obviously suppressed desire.

― Andrew Thames, Wednesday, 21 August 2002 11:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha obv he was trying to impress you!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 19:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

the straitjacket fits didnt sound like teen idol boy band to me, but i like these songs on yr tape, di. they did not make me want to shag shayne carter, though.

― ron (ron), Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

but have you heard Shayne in This Kind of Punishment? Now there was a teen idol boy band!

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

i haven't. i probably still won't want to shag him though ;-)

― ron (ron), Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

the doublehappys were more teen idol than sjf, they had wayne elsey and a young john collie in a polkadot shirt! hamish are you serious about desiring the jefferies brothers?

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

Why doesn't everyone in the world use the word "shag"?

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hamish can't live without Graeme crooning in his ear while Peter plays the piano to "On an Unknown Beach." It is his Dream of Lust.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

The young John Collie, now THERE was someone worth swooning over! SWOOOOOOON!

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Di: no.

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 04:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

What's wrong with the Jeffries brothers?

― maryann, Thursday, 22 August 2002 05:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

petra jkohn collie was at the quiz night last night and he's not swoonworthy anymore.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 09:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

But i saw him at the Clean the other month and he was still all dimples and boyish good looks! And he still has a sensible haircut.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 11:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

three years pass...

this was such a good thread, i'm glad i remembered about it.

― estela (estela), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Sweet memories. Now to get back down there (not to shag Shayne Carter, though).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

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