NOEL COWARD is Striding Down K-Street DC MCMXL The Centre for Professional Alcoholics

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I'VE BEEN SHOT AT. NOT BY A DUCK THOUGH. ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Dan is right. I now recall that I have been hit with a baseball bat three times.

― John Justen, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

whoa dude that's messed up

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

i know i just found out about this this weekend

― river wolf, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

ducks don't have guns because they are so cute!

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

guys there is a lot of odd biographical information on fborfw.com. i think i just sort of shattered pete's belief system when i told him that elly patterson has "acid rock" listed as one of her DISLIKES

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha what

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

IT TOOK ME FOUR TRIES TO POST THAT GOD DAMN YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN NU-ILX

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

another crush ruined ;_1

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

fbofw.com=INSANE website

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

ducks are only medium cute

godfuckingdamnitjustletmepostmypostggaghufonggpaf

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

ELLY PATTERSON

Birth Date: August 26, 1951
Likes: Steaming lattes (skim milk - of course), leisurely soaks in the bathtub, teaching her granddaughter, playing with her grandson, weed-free gardening, good books, good movies, good live theatre, laughter, cooking (not necessarily in that order!)
Dislikes: Bathroom scales, creatures that shed (animals & humans alike), the smell of the back yard when the snow thaws, unreliable people, litterers, acid rock,, fighting and all that's "unfair"
Hobbies: Reading, the local theatre, volunteer committee for the Downtown Improvement Association, jogging, gardening, writing letters to friends (on real paper!)
Aspirations: Send & receive email effortlessly, be in shape to run a half marathon - not do it - just be able to! To put all the family photos in books - in order! Be remembered by her kids as having been a good mom.

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

wait she's bad at email guys

― river wolf, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean, cut her some slack

― river wolf, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

what the fuck

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

CONTRAST with april, whose favorite band is "chunx"

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Dan is right. I now recall that I have been hit with a baseball bat three times.

-- John Justen,

John has been hit with bats so many times that he doesn't remember how many times he has been hit without help from friends!

― Sara R-C, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Birth Date: June 26, 1981
Likes: Being with family, holidays, home-cooked meals, Native culture, her cat
Dislikes: turnips, beets, dishonest people, lazy people, slow traffic, thong underwear, laundry
Hobbies: Singing, chatting online with friends, watching reality TV, reading, playing on her computer - something other than grading papers! Coming up with ways to help people who have difficulty reading
Aspirations:To someday become as great a teacher and inspiration as Ms. Edwards. To keep singing and be better at it. To marry a guy like Dad!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Squirrel Patrol. So this is what the Capitol Police do when the halls of Congress have emptied for recess. Maybe the cops can’t play solitaire on their computers and take long lunches like the rest of Capitol Hill’s denizens. But they can tend to the urgent security threat presented by ... squirrels.

Last week, an address went out over the police radio system that “officers responding to the squirrel incident” were to come to the West Front of the Capitol. There, apparently, a nest of squirrels had fallen from a tree near the Grotto, leaving one dead and several injured.

Capitol Police arrived on the scene, and spokeswoman Sgt. Kimberly Schneider tells HOH that “the suggestion was to put the nest near the tree in the hopes that the mother squirrel and her young would return to it.” But that proposal was a no-go. “There were police around and she wouldn’t go back to the nest,” Schneider said.

And, sadly, the story has a tragic ending: according to the police account, by the time D.C. Animal Control arrived on the scene, all the squirrels were dead, she added.

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:12 (seventeen years ago) link

SQUIRREL POLICE

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:12 (seventeen years ago) link

also CONTRAST with grandpa jim, whose favorite band is POCKET PROTECTOR - band - pocket protector maryland band - jazz/funk - ram's head savage mill april 7, Larry Byrne (keys, guitar, baritone sax); Ryan LaHam (bass); Marty Bouchard (drums); Matt Dalton (tenor & alto sax); Mark Hopkins (vocals, guitar, keys): Jay Crawdads (vocals, percussion)

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:12 (seventeen years ago) link

another crush ruined

― river wolf, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

8080

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

everyone 8080 beartrap boxcar

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahhahaofng puh

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm a popular guy, I guess. BRTRP

Wait, wait, POCKET PROTECTOR! Ryan LaHam is wicked awesome!

― John Justen, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

also that squirrel story is bringing me down.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 19:14 (seventeen years ago) link

dear walrus:

stop lying to us about grandpa jim and pocket protector pocket protector pocket protector pocket protector pocket protector pocket protector pocket protector pocket protector!

love

everyone else

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Fans of Pocket Protector also recommend:
Monkey Gone Mad (146), Public Access (71), Paddy Kilrain (66), See Girl Run (63), Jupiter Sunrise (54)

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:15 (seventeen years ago) link

UH michael patterson wtf?

Birth Date: April 28, 1976
Likes: Computers - when they work, his daughter's laugh, his son's funny baby noises, when "the muse" is present, his wife's smile, crisp fall days, good coffee and donuts, falling asleep on the morning train
Dislikes: Elvis, relish on his hotdogs, deadlines, guys who don't wash, writers who can't write, editors who can't edit
Hobbies: He is lucky enough to have a job that is also his hobby - writing! He has kept a diary for years and is now researching his and Deanna's family history. If Michael could call walking a hobby, he would - he does his best thinking during walks in the park.
Aspirations: To write a book someday, to be remembered by his children as a great dad, to grow old graciously, to be less emotional and more objective.

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:15 (seventeen years ago) link

also shut up dude elvis is awesome you fucking canadofascist

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:16 (seventeen years ago) link

michael hongroson

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:17 (seventeen years ago) link

wtf

― HI DERE, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:17 (seventeen years ago) link

If Michael could call walking a hobby

Why can't Michael call walking a hobby?

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:18 (seventeen years ago) link

"Pocket Protector" is one of the worst jazzbo funkster music geek in-joke names ever, BTW.

― John Justen, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Band Plug: Rather than committing to one sound, Pocket channels energy from all the disciplines: funk, rock, rap, blues and Hendrix.

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:18 (seventeen years ago) link

"all the disciplines"

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

If Michael could call being a wanktastic pussy a hobby,...

― HI DERE, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha wait no

― HI DERE, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

nunchuck skills = Hendrix skills

― river wolf, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

TOTALLY

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:22 (seventeen years ago) link

law, philosophy, medicine, Clapton

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:22 (seventeen years ago) link

I need to know who has eaten a doughnut at the fractured prune or whatever the fuck that place is called.

― quincie, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I realize this is apropos of almost nothing.

― quincie, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:23 (seventeen years ago) link

yes, unlike the rest of this thread

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:23 (seventeen years ago) link

also: BRIAN i know surely you have eaten somesuch doughnut as it across the street from your place!

― quincie, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

kg: my friend m3gan loves that place, or at least i think that's the place she was talking about

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

are we having donuts for dinner tonight, sweet, awesome i approve

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

ok let's talk about DOUGHNUTS which i actually think may be the most overrated foodstuff EVER

― quincie, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:25 (seventeen years ago) link

;__;

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 19:25 (seventeen years ago) link

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