NOEL COWARD is Striding Down K-Street DC MCMXL The Centre for Professional Alcoholics

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nobody had better answer "a fucking case of pepper-stuffed olives" because you know what my parents have the whole shit-I-have-no-idea-what-to-do-with-or-where-to-put presents market cornered and then some

― TOMBOT, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost what's with you and jimmy buffet?

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

we all pitched in and are getting you a vasectomy tom. happy birthday!

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

I heard you're supposed to keep some rubbing alcohol around all the time after those, so you can douse your stitches in it every so often. Otherwise the stitches will start to dry up and tighten, which is relentlessly uncomfortable verging on inconceivable suffering

― TOMBOT, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:51 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks to my TMI-spouting master sergeants from the 22IS admin office

― TOMBOT, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:52 (seventeen years ago) link

oh yeah but pouring rubbing alcohol onto an open wound in the crotch is like a gentle zephyr through a meadow.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

nah. alcohol is to clean, but it all heals in about a week, and in the meantime you get some really fun painkillers.

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

i made you a sweet mix tape. pavement, some early built to spill, couple live neil young boots, i think you'll really dig it.

― ghost rider, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:54 (seventeen years ago) link

you splash it on there with your hand. kind of hard to POUR something onto the underside of your balls, unless you have help.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:54 (seventeen years ago) link

And you've never heard of cotton swabs?

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:55 (seventeen years ago) link

"dip my balls in it"

― TOMBOT, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:55 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm not getting you anything.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 13 April 2007 15:55 (seventeen years ago) link

teabagging a cup of rubbing alcohol is not doctor recommended

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:56 (seventeen years ago) link

and the cut is not on the underside, it's near the top, about an inch under your dick. Two tiny incisions, one on each side. And thanks to it being a scrotum and all, scarring is totally undetectable.

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:57 (seventeen years ago) link

stop it

― Mr. Que, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:57 (seventeen years ago) link

ok wow thanks dude

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 13 April 2007 15:57 (seventeen years ago) link

tea bag it.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:59 (seventeen years ago) link

A scrotum... and [i]all![i]

― HI DERE, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:59 (seventeen years ago) link

oh, wait, nevermind.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 15:59 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm not talking about ball bags on the internet.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.gotallsports.com/productimages/9047_1_KBC-12.jpg

― HI DERE, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:01 (seventeen years ago) link

sorry, but this could actually be useful information to a dude who's thinking of getting a vasectomy!

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:01 (seventeen years ago) link

so start a thread about it

― Mr. Que, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

the thing is that no one here is thinking about getting a vasectomy.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 13 April 2007 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

oh ok

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean i dunno, maybe someone is but they didn't really say so.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 13 April 2007 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh bag it, everyone. Get to the good stuff:
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/princess-in-another-castle-sorry.jpg

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Now I want an ocelot.

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.yptenc.org.uk/docs/factsheets/animal_facts/animal_facts_images/ocelot-baby.jpg

I HAS TWO (2) IS

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:06 (seventeen years ago) link

wow, that looks like the kind of thing i would attempt to cuddle only to have it slash my face to ribbons with razor-like claws.

go to hell ocelot.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:11 (seventeen years ago) link

i'd punch a baby for a cigarette right now.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.bocashouseboats.com/bocashouseboats/images/margay.jpg

They're like super-intelligent space cats from the future. I pretty sure he's telepathing "I has a bench" at me.

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link

laurel, that thing is totally getting ready to pounce! look at the front legs!

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Laurel, for your sake, I hope you'll consider de-clawing.

― Sara R-C, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:19 (seventeen years ago) link

The problem is that the front paws are so fat and furry that I just want to put them in my mouth and I can't see anything else. So yeah, I guess de-clawing is in order. Or maybe those little plastic nail caps in candy-apple red.

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:20 (seventeen years ago) link

i'll bet that thing could still take me even if it was de-clawed.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:21 (seventeen years ago) link

laurel, this is crazy, that animal will kill you.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 13 April 2007 16:22 (seventeen years ago) link

I was just assuming a preference for having throats ripped out over being clawed to death. I might have been mistaken.

― Sara R-C, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:23 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost especially if you try to paint its nails

― Mr. Que, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:23 (seventeen years ago) link

so fat and furry that I just want to put them in my mouth
so fat and furry that I just want to put them in my mouth
so fat and furry that I just want to put them in my mouth

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:24 (seventeen years ago) link

seriously, that thing would bat me on either side of the head a couple of times until i fell down then it would take me by the nape of my neck and shake me to death, assuming it's jaws didn't break my neck outright.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:25 (seventeen years ago) link

still got nuts on the brain, eh kenan?

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I won't own him, we will live in telepathic space harmony! And someday I'll go through the wormhole to visit margay-world where their wisest leaders will have giant furry fluffy paws.

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link

i dunno, it looks like it wants to steal my wallet.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

This is what happens when I get enough sleep for two days in a row. Fear my brane etc.

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

i want pizza.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:28 (seventeen years ago) link

laurel: there is an alternative, the asian leopard cat

http://www.exoticcatz.com/photoalbum/albums/userpics/10001/normal_IMGP1610_1.jpg

supposedly they make pretty good pets, though they are still a little more wild than a common house cat

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:28 (seventeen years ago) link

you can just get a bengal, at least they are half domesticated

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 13 April 2007 16:29 (seventeen years ago) link

also, fat furry paws always conceal huge claws evolved for rending flesh from bone

― kenan, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:29 (seventeen years ago) link

You just don't want me to be happy.

― Laurel, Friday, 13 April 2007 16:32 (seventeen years ago) link

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