the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

I never watched the new Star Warses because they looked shit, so sadly I don't get to enjoy the blissful closure provided by these rapey videos telling me they are shit

Not sure how to react when I hear comments like this. I myself haven't seen mega-blockbusters like Transformers 2 just out of lack of interest but Star Wars, of anything, is a cultural stape. Plus it's just like 2/24 hours of your day. It's not like you're committing to the army here.

6 hrs iirc

also it is universally acknowledged to have turned out to be even shitter than it looked

also there are about 20 Hitchcock films and a year of Mad Men I haven't seen, would you argue that they should get in the queue behind Attack Of The Clones?

There's plenty of quality stuff everywhere, I'm more saying that there are certain things in pop culture that almost bear a definition of being an obligation, no matter how bad they are. Like, as in, it's impossible to carry on conversation with most people without having seen them - and unlike flunkers of movies like Watchmen or Wolverine or whatever, the Star Wars prequels still continue to be discussed (of course, negatively) years upon years upon years upon years after they hit theaters.

I've still only seen 1.5 of the prequels (totally lost interest midway through Clones), and don't plan on ever "correcting" that.

It's like you guys are trying to make me defend the films. Your choice on not seeing them, I don't care; but you're missing out on luls.

Like, as in, it's impossible to carry on conversation with most people without having seen them

I guess I'm lucky in not having run into most people

to get the luls we have to watch 6 hours of horrible shitty movies and then another 8 hours of rapey comedy reviews of the horrible shitty movies? idk mayne there's a shitload of Wodehouse I haven't re-read since I was 14 that's guaranteed to have a massively higher lol/time invested ratio

this has been confirmed independently by many people: watch the movies with the english off, and it magically becomes a jodorowskian masterpiece. this alchemy will make you question if you can ever competently judge a movie with subtitles ever again.

xpost

If you had done it the right way, it would be 2 hours a year with intermissions of about 2-3 years between.

note: the turn english off trick also works with the matrix

i don't know that the prequels have really entered the culture with any depth, other than memes like "NOOOOOOOO!" and "Jar-Jar sucks" and maybe just the generic "the prequels were shit." if you told people you hadn't seen the prequels they'd probably congratulate you tbh.

also liked the point the last review made, that the emperor is the most likable character in episode III because he's the only one displaying any sort of passion or drive.

the review is excellent and thankfully the least rapey of the three. but it made me hate myself because towards the end he complains about hayden christensen's spliced appearance at the end of jedi not making sense because the ghosts look "the way luke remembers them", and i could not keep myself from thinking that this is actually wrong, cuz the difference between vader and the others in that shot is that anakin "died" back when he looked like christensen, as in like spiritually man, and his entire existence as darth vader was a living death from which he has only now released himself, and so luke sees him as he was before he fell: the Platonic Anakin. (this is also why sebastian shaw isn't all gross and scarred and crusty in ghost-form in the un-fucked-with version.)

the reviews are very smart and accurate and cinema-literate without being myopically film-school, and they can be really educational, but mostly they're cathartic, for those of us who sat through the movies: i wouldn't really ask anyone who escaped to go back into that particular pulverized building.

yeah that makes sense. but by that logic i'd rather platonic anakin appear as the annoying little boy version, since at least that was before he became a floppy-haired douche who whined all the time and killed sand children or w/e.

For those who haven't seen the sequels: wanna volunteer your reactions for watching just a 10min portion and seeing if it provokes any laffs/u get it? Please don't do this trying to prove me wrong, it's not an opinion I'll carry w/ me 2 tha grave.

I KILLED THEM ALL

THEY'RE LIKE AN ANIMAL

http://ragrobyn.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/animal-muppet.jpg

now that would have made the movie better

For those who haven't seen the sequels: wanna volunteer your reactions for watching just a 10min portion and seeing if it provokes any laffs/u get it? Please don't do this trying to prove me wrong, it's not an opinion I'll carry w/ me 2 tha grave.

I watched the whole thing about TPM yesterday. I haven't seen 2 or 3, but just watched the first ten minutes of the 2 review. Even though I hadn't seen it, the examples he shows comparing it to -- what was that, the Last Starfighter or somthing? -- proves his point. Then again, I haven't seen the movies so I have to take his word for it.

Turned it off at the point where he was asking his hostage for coffee.

Commander Nefarious, Captain I'm-a-Bad-Guy & Admiral Bone-to-Pick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLTI3lejhGg

(this is also why sebastian shaw isn't all gross and scarred and crusty in ghost-form in the un-fucked-with version.)

Sebastian Shaw looks alot older than Hayden. I mean why isnt Ewan McGregor in place of Sir Alec Guiness now?

Commander Nefarious, Captain I'm-a-Bad-Guy & Admiral Bone-to-Pick

― trap goin hal jam (Pillbox), Wednesday, January 5, 2011 11:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

http://i.imgur.com/YP4yK.png

also:

http://i.imgur.com/2PRHF.jpg

Futurama did the name thing better, when the characters participated a Sithal War re-enactment. They fought against Darth Stroyer, Darth Trocious, Darth Sploder, Darth Urderer, and Darth Ithead.

http://pool.theinfosphere.org/images/thumb/3/3d/Darths.png/225px-Darths.png

btw sic dont let anyone talk you into seeing these movies, u made the right choice

Yeah, and the reviews have a lot of interesting things to say about story structure etc, but there's no real point sitting through them if you haven't watched the prequels.

In a similar vein I watched about half of the Star Trek one last night, and it was good but there were too many references to old Trek stuff I know very little about for me to bother continuing.

haha thats my fav thing about the trek reviews... he really 'gets' trek! i love when he spots props reused in completely different movies

"...it just goes to show the importance of... Hey, what's that doing there? No, really! How did that GET there?"

Like I said, I never saw the movie and know nothing about the attempted assassination of Queen Amaladyada, but I was able to be entertained by his observations of the lack of logic of Obi jumping out the window, letting Boba Fett get away, the SHAPESHIFTER wearing a MASK, etc.

the funniest thing in the whole review is the shot of Sam L. Jackson with the tip of his lightsaber at the Emperor's throat, and we cut to ANAKIN, who is RUNNING into the room, but halfway across the screen he inexplicably slows to a very fast walk and kind of quick-waddles towards them

My favourite part of the Ep. 3 review is the clip of Lucas looking at photos of sets being built and saying "my god, they're building sets? I'd better start writing the script!"

I love how he points out the limitations of the tiny green screen sets vs. a massive soundstage, that the actors basically have 25 feet or so to work with as they walk and stop and talk. Reminds me of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, where the running through the woods stuff was basically shot by reusing the same 30 feet of woods over and over again because they only had a limited amount of dolly tracks.

My fave bit in the Star Trek review is when he tracks on the map the progress of the elevators or whatever through the ship, revealing that a) the old Trek creators cared about such a nerdy detail (that is, that it takes x seconds to move from point a to point b in the ship) and that the nu Trek folks couldn't give a shit, since their movie is not about nerdy details, per se, but about supercharging everything. Also, he's very OTM when he details the re-quel's pervasive case of the Not Gays.

For those who haven't seen the sequels: wanna volunteer your reactions for watching just a 10min portion and seeing if it provokes any laffs/u get it? Please don't do this trying to prove me wrong, it's not an opinion I'll carry w/ me 2 tha grave.

I saw a little bit of the first prequel and that's it. Watched all of the first review and some of the second, and thought they were lolsome.

'A little bit of the first prequel' totalling about two viewings of ten minutes or so apiece, I guess I should clarify. Really couldn't bring myself to watch any more.

Also, he's very OTM when he details the re-quel's pervasive case of the Not Gays.

LOL, especially w/Scotty and Bones, since they don't have love interests in the movie.

Sebastian Shaw looks alot older than Hayden. I mean why isnt Ewan McGregor in place of Sir Alec Guiness now?

cuz obi-wan remained in the light until his death and anakin strayed from it when he was younger. and yeah shaw was a lot older than christensen but back then we didn't know how old anakin was when he became vader or what he looked like or anything and a cleaned-up and smiling middle-aged guy worked fine.

like, this isn't some hugely important part of the movie and obv it is extremely dorky to argue about and it's probable george lucas has no idea what we're talking about and just shoved christensen in there in his mania to "link up" the two halves of his "vision" but this explanation makes more sense to me than "they look as luke remembers them", which if it were true would presumably require anakin to appear in a big scary suit.

They should've done the same thing in Godfather III with Fredo, the Don and Sonny.

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Lucas shoulda done 'pocket prequels' and made em all like trailer length instead

http://www.movieline.com/2011/01/george-lucas-believes-in-2012-for-real-says-concerned-citizen-seth-rogen.php

In a new Toronto Sun article, Rogen explains that a meeting with Lucas and Spielberg soured once the subject turned to Mayan calendar drama.

“George Lucas sits down and seriously proceeds to talk for around 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is gonna end in the year 2012, like, for real. He thinks it.

“He’s going on about the tectonic plates and all the time Spielberg is, like, rolling his eyes, like, ‘My nerdy friend won’t shut up, I’m sorry…’

“I first thought he (Lucas) was joking… and then I totally realized he was serious and then I started thinking, ‘If you’re George Lucas and you actually think the world is gonna end in a year, there’s no way you haven’t built a spaceship for yourself… So I asked him… ‘Can I have a seat on it?’

“He claimed he didn’t have a spaceship, but there’s no doubt there’s a Millennium Falcon in a garage somewhere with a pilot just waiting to go… It’s gonna be him and Steven Spielberg and I’ll be blown up like the rest of us.”

So Star Wars came into being just so he could have inspired enough geeks to create spaceships so one of them could take him away somewhere? With Spielberg?

Spielberg is, like, rolling his eyes, like, ‘My nerdy friend won’t shut up, I’m sorry…’

Makes me wonder what it must be like for Spielberg to still be friends with GL, (particularly after the SW prequels). GL *must* have asked him what he thought and would he just lie? say "they're not for me"? I mean S/berg at least can still make a decent film, so to see one of his oldest and richest pals actively desecrating his own legacy in new and exciting ways every year must affect the dynamic of their friendship. Especially as this is the man whose input made sure that the last Indy film was dead in the water.

Hang on now--Spielberg is the force behind Michael Bay's Transformers shitfests, and the man responsible for foisting Shia Lebouef on the world, so don't be giving him too much credit

plus yeah, i'm just as inclined to blame spielberg as lucas for that last indy shitfest.

foisting Shia Lebouef on the world

balls, that shit almost cancels out AI for me...

as for Indy blame, from what I understand it was Lucas that actively vetoed Frank Darabont's script and went with his own Mayan temple fixated horseshit, and that turd remained resolutely unpolished. Guess Spielberg can be blamed for agreeing to make the fucking thing, but the underpinning garbage = all GL.

If it wasn't for the piles of money he sleeps on at night, I'd call Lucas a tragic figure

from what I understand it was Lucas that actively vetoed Frank Darabont's script and went with his own Mayan temple fixated horseshit, and that turd remained resolutely unpolished. Guess Spielberg can be blamed for agreeing to make the fucking thing, but the underpinning garbage = all GL.

The actual screenplay was written by the guy who wrote the screenplay for Jurassic Park and its sequel, though. And I thought the whole alien plot was right up Spielberg's alley, after all he has been directing and producing various alien movies and TV series since 1977.