... for adults
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:15 (sixteen years ago) link
I mean, seriously guys, where to start?
England are currently kicking ass against India in the one-day series, which is nice. But I could probably answer -any- question you ask me about an aspect of the game, so I'm at a loss for what I could contribute. It's probably the one thing I love more than music.
The rules Laws, if you're interested, are neatly exhibited in something called Tom Smith's Guide to Umpiring and Scoring, which I have somewhere. But they're pretty easy to pick up.
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:24 (sixteen years ago) link
dan it's like baseball except that there are only two bases that you run back and forth between - and if you don't feel like running, you DON'T HAVE TO! you just hit again (and again), and only run if you hit it really well
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:40 (sixteen years ago) link
the rest of the rules constitute an attempt to make this interesting
Dietmar Hamann was on TMS last night! He's a cricket fan!
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:41 (sixteen years ago) link
you can run if you hit it badly but are fortunate enough to place it far away enough from a fielder. you can even run if you don't hit it at all! (this depends upon the skill of the wicket-keeper, cricket's slightly more flexible version of the 'catcher')
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:41 (sixteen years ago) link
dietmar hamann liking cricket = awes
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:42 (sixteen years ago) link
by "well" i just meant "in a way that you could probably make it, if you ran"
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:43 (sixteen years ago) link
Unless you're Inzamam ul-Haq, then you stroll
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:45 (sixteen years ago) link
anyway, there's a really neat way to take the whole confusing 'running' issue out completely: hit it past the boundary-rope for an automatic four runs! (or six if it doesn't hit the ground first)
haha tom i'm currently writing a player profile for inzy, he didn't really stroll, he lumbered...
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:46 (sixteen years ago) link
He's scored a hella lot o' lumbers in his career then
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:49 (sixteen years ago) link
you don't average 50 in Test cricket without being bloody good at lumbering
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:51 (sixteen years ago) link
I am mentally adding "amirite" to most of these posts
― Jarlrmai, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:55 (sixteen years ago) link
Inzy got so good at hitting fours and sixes purely to avoid having to actually run.
― Jarlrmai, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:56 (sixteen years ago) link
He's got a touch of the WG Grace about him
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:57 (sixteen years ago) link
... "amirite"
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:58 (sixteen years ago) link
Don't ask, Dan, just don't ask. The last time I asked, I got a very complicated explanation that involved getting all the balls of thread out of the sewing basket and putting them out in elaborate patterns on the blanket and obscure rules about legs and wickets and not starting matches on the first full moon following the Queen Mum's birthday.
I was born here, and I don't get it. You have no hope. Just sit in the sun and drink beer and lemonade and nod occasionally and shout "good show!" when everyone else claps.
― Masonic Boom, Friday, 31 August 2007 11:58 (sixteen years ago) link
It's Ambient Sport
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 11:59 (sixteen years ago) link
I really isn't that difficult to get the basics, most people willfully decide that they will never know how it works so never try.
It's the subtleties that take the time, and make the game the greatest sport on Earth.
xpost, thats the joy it can be ambient, not much better than driving around your hols with TMS burbling away, or it can be mind blowingly nerve wracking like the 2005 Ashes.
― Jarlrmai, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:03 (sixteen years ago) link
::HEAD EXPLODES::
― Masonic Boom, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:05 (sixteen years ago) link
most people wilfully decide that they will never know how it works so never try
OTM, it really doesn't take much effort to understand, unless you're playing the comedy foreigner/stranger (which I suspect quite a few people here are doing). It's also a sport of ambience AND action; when you're wandering about in the covers waiting for the ball to come your way you can ponder exalted things like the meaning of life or how they make yoghurt, but then WHACK, the batsman's just nailed one to your left, ARE YOU GONNA BE A BRO AND DIVE??
Plus, it's such a logical game, such a balanced game. There's more pertinent risk and reward than in most sports. There's individual human error, there's intense tactical manipulation, there's the lot. It rules.
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:09 (sixteen years ago) link
and it has more truly GREAT witticisms or moments of inspired chat than just about all the other sports combined.
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:11 (sixteen years ago) link
eg "The Batsman's wanking the Coxman's Balls, and he's Willey".
― Frogman Henry, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:14 (sixteen years ago) link
if we succeed in grasping it do we automatically become condescending wankers like you? jesus, you people remind me of the guy who taught my perl course a few weeks ago - "so, do you get it, tracer? you look lost! it's really not that difficult"
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:23 (sixteen years ago) link
It is sport. Ergo, I do not understand even the POINT of it, let alone the finer nuances of a game with rules so complex they're into their 37th edition since the Victorian age.
― Masonic Boom, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:25 (sixteen years ago) link
i think it's nice to watch people in white clothes stand around, run and leap in the sun
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:30 (sixteen years ago) link
Go away, you're not taking this thread seriously enough
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 12:32 (sixteen years ago) link
thank goodness
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:34 (sixteen years ago) link
"in you're interested in this topic you could try reading the thread, which is a good one, rather than cracking jokes about how asian cricketers are all meek and subservient"
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 12:35 (sixteen years ago) link
ya perl is easy
― Jarlrmai, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:55 (sixteen years ago) link
perl is basically about people in white clothes standing around, running and leaping in the sun
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 12:56 (sixteen years ago) link
they dont even wear the white clothes anymore ;_;
― jhøshea, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link
it is like the polyphonic spree but with more balls
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 12:59 (sixteen years ago) link
... and better songs
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 12:59 (sixteen years ago) link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpsxaDvtOTw
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 13:01 (sixteen years ago) link
ok everyone im gonna try. this is what i got from louis' explanation in the other thread and from watching it some:
11 guys on a team. everyone gets a turn to swing the stick at the ball once or twice (depending on the type of match).
when you hit the ball you run from the stump youre standing near to the other one (and maybe back again depending on how far you hit it).
you get to keep swinging the stick at the ball over and over again until the ball hits the stump or is caught by the opposing team in the air - at which point you are out!
the field is round.
― jhøshea, Friday, 31 August 2007 13:06 (sixteen years ago) link
That'll do for now
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 13:08 (sixteen years ago) link
^^^ the basics, beautifully rendered
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 13:09 (sixteen years ago) link
i'm just in a bad mood because the red sox got swept by the yankees
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 13:40 (sixteen years ago) link
well, my mood will alter depending upon whether my beloved worcestershire can pull off an unlikely and heroic victory against durham this afternoon.
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 13:42 (sixteen years ago) link
My mood was improved immeasurably on listening to Broad and Bopara bat last night - and noting that Stuart Broad looks like an elongated Ziggy (from Big Brother)
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 13:45 (sixteen years ago) link
*sigh* The pitch is oval.
― Stone Monkey, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:10 (sixteen years ago) link
*sigh* The pitch is rectangular, the ground is oval
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 14:11 (sixteen years ago) link
stone monkey, that is the worst piece of attempted pedantry i've ever seen
and there is only one Oval. (well, two if we're counting the one in barbados)
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:18 (sixteen years ago) link
wait a minute we ARE condescending pricks.
― Jarlrmai, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:22 (sixteen years ago) link
:-D
let us now be welcoming and let the people taste cricket howsoever they wish
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:23 (sixteen years ago) link
oh baseball fans also need to understand this point: the batter and pitcher are both in the CENTER of the playing field! there are no foul balls. so hitting it behind you is just as good as hitting it in front of you. mindbending.
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:25 (sixteen years ago) link
*sigh* that's CENTRE not CENTER
― Tom D., Friday, 31 August 2007 14:27 (sixteen years ago) link
hitting it behind you is liable to have you caught by the wicketkeeper or the slips, though.
(the slips stand in an arc around from the wicketkeeper to the side you're facing when you're in your batting stance)
haha tom
― Just got offed, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:28 (sixteen years ago) link
unless they are a leg slip.
― Jarlrmai, Friday, 31 August 2007 14:30 (sixteen years ago) link
Streaker beat down
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/03/04/streakerdown_wideweb__470x325,0.jpg
― W4LTER, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:08 (sixteen years ago) link
Wait, how does the streaker fit into the rules???
― HI DERE, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:10 (sixteen years ago) link
White Sox fans like cricket now?
― felicity, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:12 (sixteen years ago) link
ha. a spokesman for the International Cricket Council said: "He is not going to be charged because he brought down a spectator who entered the ground." Although section 4.2 of the council's code of conduct says players may be punished for assaulting spectators, the spokesman would not elaborate when asked if his words meant players could try to bring down streakers.
http://media.smh.com.au/?category=Breaking%20News&rid=36032 video.
― W4LTER, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:14 (sixteen years ago) link
So... was that 5 points?
― HI DERE, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:21 (sixteen years ago) link
5 runs, yes.
― W4LTER, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:23 (sixteen years ago) link
Handy Hint: Don't let your bros order Indian food when India is playing cricket? My bros and I were watching the cricket (LOL forever at Roy's elbowsmash at the streaker...that's the first time they've shown a streaker on the telly for YEARS) and we ordered Indian. SO IT DIDN'T GET DELIVERED FOR FUCKING AGES!!
― King Boy Pato, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 10:53 (sixteen years ago) link
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 21 September 2008 22:49 (fifteen years ago) link
:D
(for reference, this is the "rules of cricket" cricket thread, and the one for discussion of cricket events is "Cricket" without an ellipsis)
― J4gger Dynamic Pentangle (Just got offed), Sunday, 21 September 2008 22:52 (fifteen years ago) link
That's why I posted that link here, Louis.
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 22 September 2008 16:09 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah, I know! I was just anticipating a rush of off-topic blabber.
― J4gger Dynamic Pentangle (Just got offed), Monday, 22 September 2008 16:32 (fifteen years ago) link
Hello hello, it's back again
― I Poxy the Fule (Tom D.), Thursday, 12 November 2009 10:57 (fourteen years ago) link
oh yes
― Great Scott! It's Molecular Man. (Ste), Thursday, 12 November 2009 12:23 (fourteen years ago) link
Man, I thought this thread said "Chiclet". : (
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/425659704_7a39e32a3e.jpg?v=0
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 12 November 2009 12:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah Verin came back with a massive bang in this one and pretty much definitively showed why she was far and away the most awesome Aes Sedai in the book IMO.
― lift this towel, its just a nipple (HI DERE), Thursday, 19 November 2009 16:17 (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― Ward Fowler, Thursday, 19 November 2009 16:47 (fourteen years ago) link
fao DJP & others, this is cricket distilled 2 its ~essence~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9x8STHMdRs
― imago, Saturday, 13 September 2014 00:05 (nine years ago) link
http://sportpulse.net/blog/top-25-most-handsome-cricketers-160801
― tangenttangent, Monday, 13 April 2015 16:33 (nine years ago) link
want to know what exactly Chris Gayle's sculpted physic is
― PORC EPIC SAVVAGE (imago), Monday, 13 April 2015 17:08 (nine years ago) link
Ricky Ponting????!!!!???
― Quack and Merkt (Tom D.), Monday, 13 April 2015 17:16 (nine years ago) link
always a good moment for Feminist Afridi
http://cache.pakistantoday.com.pk/Even-the-Feminist-Afridi-Tumblr-couldnt-offset-this-shoddy-outing.jpg
― Noodle Vague, Monday, 13 April 2015 17:17 (nine years ago) link
otm
shane watson's is the funniest inclusion/writeup
― PORC EPIC SAVVAGE (imago), Monday, 13 April 2015 17:34 (nine years ago) link
can only assume that anderson & broad are excluded on grounds of being cockroach england's enforcers
― PORC EPIC SAVVAGE (imago), Monday, 13 April 2015 17:38 (nine years ago) link
even the photo of Watson is perfect
altho as Tom points out, Ponting still looks like Ian Hislop with a weave
― Noodle Vague, Monday, 13 April 2015 17:39 (nine years ago) link
hott
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/58600000/jpg/_58600362_beard_getty.jpg
― Keith Moom (Neil S), Monday, 13 April 2015 19:19 (nine years ago) link
beard_getty.jpg
Shikhar Dhawan was robbed, imo.
My brother's middle name is Imran entirely because my mother had a crush on yr man in the 80s tho.
― Ethnically Ambiguous / 28 - 45 (ShariVari), Monday, 13 April 2015 20:06 (nine years ago) link
isn't yr surname also, like,
― PORC EPIC SAVVAGE (imago), Monday, 13 April 2015 20:07 (nine years ago) link
yeah
Yep
― Ethnically Ambiguous / 28 - 45 (ShariVari), Monday, 13 April 2015 20:07 (nine years ago) link
as this is the cricket ephemera thread not the rolling cricket match thread i shan't ask you to pass comment on yr lads' rickety bowling or suliemann benn's fielding/presence in international sport, may revive the other one tho, which will confuse ppl
― PORC EPIC SAVVAGE (imago), Monday, 13 April 2015 20:09 (nine years ago) link