NOEL COWARD is Striding Down K-Street DC MCMXL The Centre for Professional Alcoholics

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Alex I have always hated tats, never wanted a tat, don't like them, and that said--your new tat is pretty awesome.

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:58 (seventeen years ago) link

plus Hawkeye OTM

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 13:58 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah there was a pretty funny time he blew up at some crazy tenant of ours. this dude just kept insisting that we gave him a used stove, like really insanely ranting about it, and wouldn't let it go for months, even though it really clearly wasn't a used stove. SOOOO after a while of this the guy decides to PRETEND THERE'S A FIRE IN THE BUILDING to get us to come over to his place so he can talk about this stupid stove some more and craig just started screaming at him, "where would i even get a used stove on the fucking upper west side? ye olde shite shoppe?" and the guy just looked stunned and kind of actually considered this and was like, "you're right, sorry about all this" and went back inside and we never heard from him again, at least not until the next week when he became convinced the stove was old and used again.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:00 (seventeen years ago) link

fuckin old people

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:00 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks mw

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:00 (seventeen years ago) link

also lolz at our april thread making it through eight whole magical days

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:01 (seventeen years ago) link

zr, it's actually may now. hate to tell you.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:01 (seventeen years ago) link

cool, am i dead yet?

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:01 (seventeen years ago) link

no, that's planned for july.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

no my birthday is in july that would ruin my birthday

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

ok, well we can reschedule for maybe august or september, whichever works best for you, mw.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:03 (seventeen years ago) link

just saying i don't want to be in indie rock mourning on my bday

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:04 (seventeen years ago) link

fine, august is my final offer. september is unacceptable; i'm not makin it to 25

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:05 (seventeen years ago) link

alright, does the 17th work for you?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:05 (seventeen years ago) link

indie rock mourning would pretty much just mean my eulogy'd be something like "zack was pretty awesome for the first few years, but eh, the later stuff's kinda lame"

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:07 (seventeen years ago) link

...fairly otm, actually!

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:07 (seventeen years ago) link

awww c'mon dude

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:07 (seventeen years ago) link

fine fine the 17th! get off my back already!

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:08 (seventeen years ago) link

indie rock mourning would pretty much just mean my eulogy'd be something like "zack was pretty awesome for the first few years, but eh, the later stuff's kinda lame"

-- pretzel walrus, Monday, April 9, 2007 10:07 AM (36 seconds ago)

no it would mean hoisting beers and listening to On The Mouth on repeat. Also I just noticed for the first time this weekend that On The Mouth can be shortened to=OTM

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:08 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha "yeah the first pretzel walrus ep is awesome, but after that the dude just fell into a wormhole of repetition."

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:09 (seventeen years ago) link

oh wait the 17th doesn't work for me, i plan to die in july actually. sorry, i guess you have to live.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:10 (seventeen years ago) link

WHATS UP PROM

― 69, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:10 (seventeen years ago) link

LOOKS LIKE SOME OF YOU HAVE A CASE OF "THE MONDAYS"

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm having a case of "wish I'd brought twice as much quiche for breakfast" but then I'd be in a food coma instead of at my desk doing some werk. C'est la vie.

― Laurel, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Primary Responsibilities/Objectives:

* Roam office entertaining employees
* Plan and execute parties and happy hours
* Participate in all company meetings and gatherings as an interstitial speaker
* Function as office DJ, managing/programming the office sound system. Manage musical requests efficiently, while keeping the office bumping.
* Order pizza for Pizza Day
* Construct complex balloon animals
* Care and feeding of the office monkey, Dr. Zaius

Core Competencies:

* Current on all reality TV
* Pop Culture expert, able to postulate about Season 3 of Lost
* Always at the ready with a quip or comeback.
* Equally comfortable in a jester cap and bear suit
* MS Excel
* Proven game room skills as a formidable adversary in Halo, Ms. Pacman and Bubble Hockey; ability to convincingly let management win on occasion.
* Juggle chainsaws, bowling balls, and one item of your choosing
* Have >50 answers to knock-knock jokes, at least half of which must be funny
* Can tap a keg on the first try
* Can chug beer, shotgun beer, guzzle beer, snort beer, play beer pong, flip cup, 3 man, do beer bongs, beer cheers, keg stands, and bluegills with the best of them

Preferred Qualities:

* Tall or short but we prefer that you not be of average height, as it’s not as funny
* Crazy hair
* Annoying and easily recognizable laugh
* Friends with at least one B list celebrity. (No reality contestants)
* Experience in three of the following: Stand up, Street mime, rally racing, horticulture, pottery, rapping, paragliding, cattle ranching, roller skiing, ballet, actual break dancing/popping, ice fishing, chess
* Blood type AB (or equivalent)
* Ability to type 90 words a minute, replacing all vowels with various forms of smileys

^^^^^^^^^^^^ i have finally found the job for me

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:37 (seventeen years ago) link

guys i am v bummed, the zoo had a job that actually would be one i could do but the closing date was last thurs ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:40 (seventeen years ago) link

what is "bluegills"?

― 69, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:44 (seventeen years ago) link

the heat is on in my office and now it kinda smells like marijuana. i wonder what the cleaning crew is doing in the basement. or rather, i wonder if they're doing it right now or if this is residual?

― chicago kevin, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:44 (seventeen years ago) link

ok so yeah i sort of had the best saturday night of my recent life with my ukranian amy - we went to a really, really awful bar in columbia full of people 5-10 yrs older than us tryna do the suburban pickup scene thing (which, wow, is depressing and hilarious) and saw a jazz-funk band called pocket protector that absolutely covered "red house," then tried to stalk a friend of ours who didn't answer the door even though his light was on and his car was in the driveway, then decided "eh, fuck it," hotboxed my car in a church parking lot and drove around for two and a half hours jamming tunes.

POLL: what is the most ridiculous/awesome col. street name we encountered?

a) burnt arrow
b) newgrange garth
c) dragon's beard
d) morning mews
e) spiral cut

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:50 (seventeen years ago) link

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

newgrange garth easily.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

c, definitely.

e wasn't a street sign, you were driving by a burger joint that features curly fries.

― chicago kevin, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:53 (seventeen years ago) link

and aw man i forgot about "dried earth" and "roll right court"

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:53 (seventeen years ago) link

dragon's beard is in the neighborhood of hobbit's glen, where, of course, everything is named in relation to a jrr tolkien work

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 14:57 (seventeen years ago) link

one subdivision to rule them all

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:00 (seventeen years ago) link

And all they could come up with was dragon's beard?

― Ed, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:02 (seventeen years ago) link

in ann arbor, off spring street, there are 3 consecutive intersecting streets named cherry, felch, and hiscock. i don't want to delve into the pscyhe of that developer.

― chicago kevin, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:03 (seventeen years ago) link

"GENTLE FOLK" i just remembered "gentle folk" that was my favorite one

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:04 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.ministryofdoom.org/geekrock/pocket/pics/contact8x10.jpg

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:04 (seventeen years ago) link

fatbeard badshave has a new band

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:04 (seventeen years ago) link

ROCKING THE FUCKING MOUNTAINS

http://www.ministryofdoom.org/geekrock/pocket/pics/townie01re.jpg

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:05 (seventeen years ago) link

"I"m the guy in the band that likes sneakers."

http://www.ministryofdoom.org/geekrock/pocket/pics/idogg02re.jpg

― Mr. Que, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:06 (seventeen years ago) link

oh hi i upgraded your footwear

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:07 (seventeen years ago) link

hey guys look
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/246/452421784_6dd28d204d.jpg

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

lol rhode island

― ghost rider, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:20 (seventeen years ago) link

also pete actually i have no idea what bluegills is but i'm fairly certain that whatever it is i can probably do it.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

UM dudes W. T. F. @ pocket protector

― 69, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:25 (seventeen years ago) link

actually it was this pocket protector: http://www.myspace.com/pocketprotectorband

pock•et pro•tec•tor - - [pok-it] [pruh-tek-ter]
–noun, band
1.) A creative unit developed to carry writing instruments and other implements, while reinforcing the strength of the pocket in a sound manner.
2.) A band derived from various earlier musical endeavors (see Written Prisms, hip:jazz:funk & Mark Hopkins Band, renegade pop-rock) brought together by a shared passion for musical exploration and improvisation, and a reverence for the power of the groove [see pocket].
3.) Something for the true lover of music.
4.) A must for any and all nerds, music and otherwise.

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:28 (seventeen years ago) link

dude no

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 9 April 2007 15:29 (seventeen years ago) link

they did two sets! i really liked jay: http://a944.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/12/l_6d241bf6eafffddfb8f2d6712d0eaa6f.jpg

― pretzel walrus, Monday, 9 April 2007 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 4877 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i basically just want to repost that as many times as possible

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

i love that

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

8080 blood diamond kitten

― elmo argonaut, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

kitten is quality

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

chicago is beating us in obnoxiousness, we should have three active threads on new answers

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

maybe we should have an actual new thread though, seeing as how this one has about seven million responses and is pretty much impossible to keep up with if you can't check it every three seconds

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

seconded

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:24 (seventeen years ago) link

chicago is beating us in obnoxiousness, we should have three active threads on new answers

dude that's not a title you want.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link

also that "centre" thing really sticks in my craw

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link

THIS IS OUR COUNTRY

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link

ok ok so then start a new thread, dudes. no one is stopping you!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link

then why u spelling like a britishes, ZR

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link

pretzel walrus what's the likelihood of you bro-ing down in chicago in august? and when is quincie coming here again? this month? may?

― chicago kevin, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

she'll be there next weekend

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

THIS IS OUR COUNTRY

Your country, OUR LANGUAGE, thieving scunners.

― Ed, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

she will show you all how to take a phone in the mouth

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

hott

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 14:29 (seventeen years ago) link

tori amos fans are children of a lesser god

― kenan, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:36 (seventeen years ago) link

dear everyone,

please click on the crab goalkeeper thread and watch the trailer. thank you.

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:39 (seventeen years ago) link

[Removed Illegal Link]

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

lolz

NEW THREAD HERE: http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=53303#unread

― pretzel walrus, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Black People Be Bondin' On Chartered Transportation: DC i

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

oh fuck, i have made us into Chicago

― HI DERE, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:42 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahaha

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 14:43 (seventeen years ago) link

really, though, this is the best thread.

― ghost rider, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i'll never forget this thread, it is a classic

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 20 April 2007 15:10 (seventeen years ago) link

we are so awesome

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:11 (seventeen years ago) link

i can't remember any other DC thread titles

― Mr. Que, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:12 (seventeen years ago) link

http://images.chron.com/apps/comics/images/2007/4/20/For_Better_Or_Worse.590.g.gif

― 69, Friday, 20 April 2007 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

ten years pass...

TS: junkies vs alcoholics

― zlstrz (calstars), Wednesday, 14 March 2018 00:15 (six years ago) link

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