Disgusting savages; list them ALL itt

people who are already urinating when they walk into cubicles

'inevitably'

The people who put stickers on apples are disgusting savages. I do not need to know who made every single apple.

People who monopolize group dinner table discussions with topics that only a couple of the people at the table have the background or knowledge to understand and drone on about them with no attempt to even bring other people up to speed on what they're talking about (i.e., my family).

Topics such as: DC school politics at a table full of New Yorkers, and the intricate personality quirks of a certain moderately well-known columnist that we just happen to know and that no one else can possibly have as much interest in.

People who write gchat/facebook statuses that are purposefully vague (presumably so that you have to ask them about their good news) -- "It's official now! Yay!"

17-year-old boys are the most disgusting savages in the world.

people who dart into the middle of the road when there's a crosswalk less than 50 feet away.

it's even worse when they amble about and shoot you a look when you don't slow down for them. GTFO OF THE ROAD

People who come to work full-blown sick! I don't fucking understand! This one person has come three days in a row, and I keep trying to gently hint that she should consider staying home and she's like "well who's going to sit up here and handle the phones?" NO ONE IF YOU GET THE WHOLE OFFICE SICK

Who invented blister packs?

the guy who came into our office yesterday to inform the town plumber that his toilet hadn't been working all christmas, and it was now 'full'- could someone call round and do something about it?

at this point the contents were on the floor i assume?

to be fair to him, no, he came in because he'd reached the brim.

My crap runneth over

I can't even..

the smell of that man's domicile!

People who sit on trains sodcasting music through their tinny mobile phone speakers.

People who come to work full-blown sick! I don't fucking understand! This one person has come three days in a row, and I keep trying to gently hint that she should consider staying home and she's like "well who's going to sit up here and handle the phones?" NO ONE IF YOU GET THE WHOLE OFFICE SICK

disgusting savages: people who brag that they've "never taken a sick day," making the rest of us actual human beings look like losers and malingerers for putting our own health before company productivity.

to be fair I'm one of those guys but not cuz I don't come to work sick, but cuz I just don't generally get sick.

going to work while ill as hell is lame for the reasons above, though when I had the flu I didn't have a choice but to go in for a half day.

sodcasting

thieving this word, hope you don't mind

I wish I could claim credit for it.

Passengers in cars who shout abuse at cyclists are disgusting savages and deserve to be tortured.

^^^ deserves a hearing

usually engine noise + doppler effect + wind makes it impossible to hear what the motorist is saying unless they're at a red light. I assume these people are shouting, "retard!" but for all I know they could be complimenting me on my rippling leg muscles. this deserves a thorough investigation and probably some torture.

This guy put on a silly high-pitched voice and yelled "do us a fucking wheelie". I was a mile from home after an 18-mile, 80-minute blast through the countryside during which I got soaked in a downpour. If I'd had stuff with me I'd have set fire to him.

Special extra savage points: they yell something incoherent, I yell back from the bike, and their retort is that I'm "not supposed to be in the street" (not true, local law is that the street is the ONLY legal place for me to bike) (but they never stick around long enough to hear about that, plus doppler effect etc)

i hate it when I'm whistling a proper melody and some disgusting savage comes along and starts whistling some tuneless shit of his own. is he trying to impress me? is this a passive-aggressive attempt to shut me up? is he trying to duet with me but hasn't the faintest idea how harmonizing works? probably he hasn't whistled in years, and my whistling inspires him to test out his long-dormant musical abilities, much to his delight and much to my enragement.

whatever it is, I always get a kick out of the gurgling noises he makes when I slice off his lips and force-feed them to him while I resume my pitch-perfect rendition of "Little Brown Church in the Vale".

they are just trying to remind you what whistling, anyone's whistling, sounds like anyone who is not the whistler

got some insults yelled at me from a van window while walking across a pedestrian crossing the other day, put me in a bad mood all weekend. fuck car-window-yellers and fuck anyone who thinks that because they are a man and i am not that means they need to tell me and the rest of the street how they rate my appearance. whether the rating is positive or negative it's just fucking rude, intrusive and creepy.

(on the plus side, this used to happen to me all the time in my previous town and it's much less frequent now. on the minus side, i think i was confusing "this hasn't happened to me much lately" with "i am now old and wise enough not to be bothered by this", which was clearly not true.)

"Macho Man" Randy

man the other day I was at a traffic light next to a dirty hippie with their feet out the window and then the car in front of me opens it door and the driver spits out a loogey. Fuck all y'all.

I was driving a stickshift car for the second time in my life and stalled it at a traffic light that was on a hill; I guess if you drive stick you know that's kinda tough for people who don't drive them. Guy in motorcycle yells out "learn to drive, asshole!" as he passes me. What the hell does he think I tried to do that??

I once saw a guy chuck his cigarette butt out of his (fucking huge 4WD) car, and someone else leapt out of their car, picked it up, and threw it back into his face

Wow

We were all waiting for a light, I should add--this wasn't done in moving traffic

Man, mark me a disgusting savage, but driving with your foot out the window is delightful.

indeed!

Mark me confused but driving with your foot out of the window is impossible. Isn't it?

Sales guys urging me to buy more stocks of various consumables "just in case" the earthquake in Japan has an impact on future availability. I know they're just doing their job but get out of my face with your distasteful incitement to panic buy.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/nationworld/wpix-family-unhappy-about-obama-visit,0,4037272.story

"Dear 9-11 family member"

Abbott, kate, I sincerely hope you meant "RIDING with your feet out the window" and not "DRIVING with your feet out the window" otherwise eek

Oh man no I meant I spent ages 17-20 in sunny weather with my left foot out the window. Does it make you feel better if I say the car was an automatic?

thats a common practice in hawaii

Hawaiians drive like THIS.

(Driving with your feet out the window is stylish.)

I'm stylish in Hawaii.

People who think being clearly and obviously mean and dickish is ok as long as they say they were joking afterwards.

The annoying woman who has made me miss my train two days in a row now by refusing to move to the side of the escalator after I nicely say "excuse me". Nothing more frustrating than hearing them announce that your train is getting ready to close its doors and not be able to get around some dolt who could care less.

"annoying" doesn't do it justice imo, those people should be scuttled with force

skittled even

a year or so ago, i had a somewhat serious altercation with a motorist while i was on my bicycle. middle of the day, and i'm at this intersection of a smaller street (the main bicycle throughfare in that part of SF) and a much larger, busier street. i'm to the right, as is the law and so on, when this guy starts honking at me. he's trying to turn right on red, and i am blocking his way with my bicycle. i ignore him, because seriously, i'm already pretty damn far to the right, almost at the sidewalk. he keeps honking. so i turn around, sneer, and give him the middle finger. all of sudden, this prick in a suit turns off his car (a BMW, just sayin) gets out, and starts screaming at me about being 'civil' and tells me that i need to 'calm down,' and all i say is, "i'm where i'm supposed to be. and i don't need to calm down, i'm perfectly calm."

anyway, i diffused that situation, but a great number of motorists need to learn some fucking manners.