the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

It wasn't like *trigger alert* or anything though, it was just poorly executed joking.

Yeah, the pizza roll thing is def. better.

And I think this is a sort of generalizable problem where the things I find entertaining in internet videos that deconstruct pop culture are actually not what the target audience leaps for. Like it's the same as how Angry Video Game Nerd is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy funnier when he's just playing the game and getting deep into the minutia of why it doesn't work and isn't fun, rather than doing toilet jokes and stringing swears together.

Lucasfilm Ltd. announced today that the live-action Star Wars Saga will be converted to 3D! There are few movies that lend themselves more perfectly to 3D; from the Death Star trench run to the Tatooine Podrace, the Star Wars Saga has always delivered an entertainment experience that is completely immersive. Presented by Twentieth Century Fox and Lucasfilm Ltd., the cutting edge conversion will take that immersion to the next thrilling level, with Industrial Light & Magic supervising the project. Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace is expected to be released theatrically in 2012. A release date has not yet been determined.

"Getting good results on a stereo conversion is a matter of taking the time and getting it right," said John Knoll, Visual Effects Supervisor for Industrial Light & Magic. "It takes a critical and artistic eye along with an incredible attention to detail to be successful. It is not something that you can rush if you want to expect good results. For Star Wars we will take our time, applying everything we know both aesthetically and technically to bring audiences a fantastic new Star Wars experience."

at this point there's really nothing that can be done to ruin star wars further than it already has been. 3-D is way less offensive than shitty tacked-on cgi. but who the fuck would wants to see the phantom menace again?

or indeed at all

i think everyone should be made to see it, just to spread the pain around

Maybe as well as 3D, Lucas could also revive Smell-O-Vision, so that the stench of manure could waft through the cinema.

literally! remember that scene where Jar Jar's steps in some shit? or when the space camel farts in his face?

i can't un-remember that. the world must suffer.

Han shat first...

those scenes were actually in the Phantom Menace, btw

Jedi robes are brown for a reason. Helps hide embarrassing stains.

special edition jokes right at the beginning of this:
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/703826

at this point there's really nothing that can be done to ruin star wars further than it already has been. 3-D is way less offensive than shitty tacked-on cgi. but who the fuck would wants to see the phantom menace again?

― latebloomer, Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:22 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or indeed at all

― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:23 AM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark

i think dr morbius was actually the only human being who liked this movie

releasing them one by one *annualy* the press releases seem to be saying? that can't be right can it? i mean who's going to give a shit for that first 3 years?

I loved Simon Pegg's tweet this morning about this:

"Watching TPM in 3D would be like the car actually crashing into your face as opposed to just unfolding before your eyes."

haha

i think dr morbius was actually the only human being who liked this movie

um... I liked it (except for Jar-Jar)

morbius is your sock?

okay now THAT would be some shit

but anyway, look upthread!

lol I am the only person here who doesn't hate these movies

― suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:58 PM

could be a forgery

i think dr morbius was actually the only human being who liked this movie

I liked it too, for the most part. (And so did Ebert!)

sock, sock, sock

My favorite thing about Ebert's review was that he pretty much called ppl out with "lol u jaded"

If it were the first "Star Wars" movie, "The Phantom Menace" would be hailed as a visionary breakthrough. But this is the fourth movie of the famous series, and we think we know the territory; many of the early reviews have been blase, paying lip service to the visuals and wondering why the characters aren't better developed. How quickly do we grow accustomed to wonders. I am reminded of the Isaac Asimov story "Nightfall," about the planet where the stars were visible only once in a thousand years. So awesome was the sight that it drove men mad. We who can see the stars every night glance up casually at the cosmos and then quickly down again, searching for a Dairy Queen.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19990517/REVIEWS/905170301/1023

man The Phantom Empire would have rocked if the Separatists had split from the Republic over ice cream.

yeesh

TS: technical breakthroughs vs. watchable movies.

And shame on Roger Ebert for lauding visuals over story and characters. He KNOWS better.

If it were the first "Star Wars" movie, "The Phantom Menace" would be hailed as a visionary breakthrough.

what the hell does that mean? sure TPM released 20 years earlier would have BLOWN PEOPLE'S FUCKING MINDS. But by 1999 cgi-heavy sci-fi action flicks were nothing new, and in its own time and place it was clearly ponderous cruddy over-engineered under-written nonsense.

Anyone calling these movies "unwatchable" hasn't seen a truly unwatchable movie, like Terminator: Salvation or The Bounty Hunter.

most popular unwatchable film is The Dark Knight.

Oh bullshit. The prequels are complete garbage.

i have seen plenty of unwatchable films in my day sir

and this film is unwatchable

Well, my work here is done. (claps dust off hands, strides away whistling)

I've seen TPM maybe 3 or 4 times now, and I still couldn't tell you the story. The trade federation stuff was all needlessly complex and bafflingly makes no sense at all. The entire plot of that movie is impenetrable. Jar-Jar aside, I hate how all the aliens speak English with silly accents instead of made up space talk w subtitles. Also hate the actor playing Anakin; he should've been cast as a guest role in a 30 min sitcom. But it's all moot because Jar-Jar pretty much voids the entire movie as soon as he enters.

And shame on Roger Ebert for lauding visuals over story and characters. He KNOWS better.

Nah, he's a sucker for that kind of thing in the sci-fi realm. He grants the same latitude to "Metropolis" and "Dark City," e.g. (The latter of which he did DVD commentary for.)

In fact, I'm pretty sure he named "Dark City" his favorite of 1998, and his review starts: ``Dark City'' by Alex Proyas is a great visionary achievement, a film so original and exciting, it stirred my imagination like ``Metropolis'' and ``2001: A Space Odyssey.'' If it is true, as the German director Werner Herzog believes, that we live in an age starved of new images, then ``Dark City'' is a film to nourish us. Not a story so much as an experience, it is a triumph of art direction, set design, cinematography, special effects--and imagination

Tbh I would permaban

I've seen TPM maybe 3 or 4 times now, and I still couldn't tell you the story. The trade federation stuff was all needlessly complex and bafflingly makes no sense at all. The entire plot of that movie is impenetrable. Jar-Jar aside, I hate how all the aliens speak English with silly accents instead of made up space talk w subtitles. Also hate the actor playing Anakin; he should've been cast as a guest role in a 30 min sitcom. But it's all moot because Jar-Jar pretty much voids the entire movie as soon as he enters.

How the hell can you not know the story if you've seen it 4 or 5 times? It's not even remotely complicated.

Lol that first bit shouldn't be there

No, it makes sense in context.

I like Dark City, but I never understood the sloppy handjob that Ebert gave it. It's a three-star affair.

haha freudian slip there dan

it's a two-starrer at BEST.

How the hell can you not know the story if you've seen it 4 or 5 times? It's not even remotely complicated.

― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 10:08 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

no but it is so painfully boring and shitty the brain actively rejects it

xp I like the story. It's a little silly, but I, like Ebert, was impressed when I realized that it was not Earth at all.

Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace is expected to be released theatrically in 2012

hopefully this is scheduled to be released AFTER the world ends in 2012

December 25, 2012 -- Just in time for post-apocalyptic Xmas.

"I didn't care enough about the plot to pay attention to it" is a very different criticism from "The plot is so complicated and impenetrable that I can't tell you what happens"; I could understand someone saying the latter if we were talking about "Eraserhead" but this is a fucking Star Wars movie!