Ask M. White for help with French translation

C'est presque certain, Jacques.

Je mande un Kebab

Voilà le kebab.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/80/Conchords_101_Sally.jpg/250px-Conchords_101_Sally.jpg

You're sending kebabs, ken c?

errrr

je mange un kebab!

(i had my first ever french class last night so you have to forgive me!)

Je pensait qu'il avait dit "je demande un kebab.

No worries, ken c. Mander isn't a verb you see much, it means 'to summon' or 'send for'.

I think you see Spanish speakers using their equivalent, mandar, a lot more.

Garlic press = presse-ail

Thanks, Zelda.

Good day = Bonjour

Thanks, Ken.

mangouste, nf = mongoose

Thanks, M. White, I didn't know that.

Someone once told me a French verb which means "to say Mass twice in one day", but I've forgotten what it is.

M. there are a bunch of quotes of Sade in John Fowles' the Magus that I've always wanted to know. Mind if I post them? I remember running them by this French TA in college (an unbelievable Algerian girl from Nantes... wow haven't thought about her in a while) and she was totally stumped!

Who's teaching that French course of yours, Ken? Steve Martin? Eddie Izzard?

Moi j'utilise régulièrement un presse-ail, mais c'est vrai que c'est pratique aussi pour le gingembre.

Someone once told me a French verb which means "to say Mass twice in one day", but I've forgotten what it is.

I pray that it's not a verb you need to use often.

gff, why not?

KC, have you learned about Système D yet?

Part One

Un débauché de profession est rarement un homme pitoyable.

DE SADE, Les Infortunes de la Vertu

A professional debauchee is rarely a pitiful man

Maintenant ma vie n'est que metro, boulot, dodot.

Part Two
Irrités de ce premier crime, les monstres ne s'en tinrent pas là; ils l'étendirent ensuite nue, à plat ventre sur une grande table, ils allumèrent des cierges, ils placèrent l'image de notre sauveur à sa tête et osèrent consommer sur les reins de cette malheureuse le plus redoutable de nos mystères.

et peut-être "typo" aussi

This is gonna be fun

donc: boulot, métro, typo, dodo

OK, a bit of messing around on the Internet and I've discovered the word for saying Mass twice in one day: biner (also binar in Spanish). I'll try slipping that one into the conversation sometime soon.

Irritated by this first crime, the monsters don't stop there; they lay her out naked on a large table, they light tapers, they place pictures of Our Savior at its head and dare to consumate in the loins of this poor girl, the most redoutable of our mysteries.

xp hahaha awesome!!

Part Three
La triomphe de la philosophie serait de jeter du jour sur l'obscurité des voies dont la providence se sert pour parvenir aux fins qu'elle se propose sur l'homme, et de tracer d'après cela quelque plan de conduite qui pût faire connaitre à ce malheureux individu bipède, perpétuellement ballotté par les caprices de cet être qui dit-on le dirige aussi despotiquement, la manière dont il faut qu'il interprète les décrets de cette providence sur lui.

hahahhaahha it's suddenly occurring to me that the TA maybe didn't want to tell me what she was reading...

à plat ventre + consommer sur les reins = anal sex, I'm pretty sure...

boy is my face red

You changed the tense there, Michael.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/6/6d/200px-Birkin_Je_t

Exactement: "entre tes reins"

what is Système D??

is it an eddie izzard thing?

The triumph of philosophy would be to cast the light of day on the obscurity of the ways Providence uses to achieve the ends it proposes for man, and to trace therefrom a map that could make this unfortunate bipedal individual, perpetually shaken by the caprices of this being which, they say, directs him so despotically, the way in which he must interpret the decrees of Providence on him.

(Jesus, Donatien, can you write a more terse bit of nonsense?)

You changed the tense there, Michael.

You're right. Sorry, gff, it's all in the past tense.

baaderonix, is it true that 'entre les reins' implies anal?

Not necessarily, but in the context of the paragraph I'd say yes.

Further proof is the following paragraph

Je
m'évanouis à ce spectacle horrible, il me fut impossible de le soutenir.
Raphaël, voyant cela, dit que pour m'y apprivoiser il fallait que je
servisse d'autel à mon tour. On me saisit, on me place au même lieu que
Florette et l'infâme Italien, avec des épisodes bien plus atroces et bien
autrement sacrilèges, consomme sur moi la même horreur qui venait de
s'exercer sur ma compagne. On me retira de là sans mouvement, il fallut
me porter dans ma chambre où je pleurai trois jours de suite en larmes
bien amères le crime horrible où j'avais servi malgré moi...

great! thanks M.!

what is Système D??

Système débrouille. I believe it dates back to the war. Debrouiller means to manage or to figure out somehow. Système débrouille is part Macgyver, part jerry rig, part winging it.

It also means self reliance, ken c.

that could make this unfortunate bipedal individual

that could make known to this unfortunate bipedal individual

Ooops

I had also heard the 'D' was for démerde. Google showed me a few people using this amusing construction: Planète débrouille,Système D.

It has nothing to do with Eddie Izzard. He just has a routine about trying to use his schoolboy French to communicate.

Yeah, also démerde.

Izzard's shtick is pretty funny, though.

It's great. I think the premise is different from the usual, it's not just "Oh, these crazy Frenchmen."