There should be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets.

Think of all the successful marriages between ex-porn stars and mixed martial artists that go unreported.

it is a stinging indictment of american journalism.

why yes, i'd very much like to read about some successful marriages between ex-porn stars and mixed martial artists!

I assumed that was a reference to some celeb story I was unaware of?

i assume so, too, but i haven't heard the story.

Mordy, however much you may disagree w/him, Perrin knows a lot of history. But I think your entire lack of humor re politics may be blinding you to this.

I'm pretty sure I don't have a lack of humor problem, but thx.

this guy isn't funny at all if you wanna talk about lack of humor

he reminds me of klosterman in that I never want to read him again sort of way.

it just makes me cringe, it's like being with a person who looks around the room waiting for people to laugh at his "joke"

harbly formed "joke"

; )

The Japan/nuke joke is a badly written joke, because while I'm well aware of the historical points he's trying to make, the way he says it doesn't make it easy at all to comprehend. But yeah what he's trying to say is yeah.

I lol'd at the Jenna Jameson joke. You see, afaik, there aren't any other ex-porn stars married to mixed martial artists and so try the veal. He'll tweet all week.

see, you know who Jenna Jameson is, you're ahead of us

Okay. So, is this guy's dad named Dan Perrin and he's got a blog named redstate? And so the son has a blog named redstateson?

Dennis shares some show ideas he will pitch in LA:

GET OFF MY LAWN, MAN

A vanity project of sorts, where I try to keep kids out of my yard, not by yelling or threatening violence, but by telling them long stories about how much better music was when I was their age, and acting out bits from Monty Python and the original SNL. Also, I don't cut my grass, which adds to the mystery: Who's this old guy in the robe, and what's a Conehead?

my sides!

why not just post all of these gems and maybe someone will be able to read all of them

ACHY BREAKY CAMP

Billy Ray Cyrus puts fathers with marginally talented daughters through six weeks of Cool Dad training. This includes dressing like a middle-schooler, wearing long, stringy hair (or if they are African-American, big Julius Erving Afros), finding the right hair dye, soul patch sculpting, and talking to their daughters in seemingly parental but utterly servile ways, because you don't scold or punish the golden goose, especially with her manager, agent and lawyers around. Miley Cyrus pops in and out, donning large wigs and speaking in British, French, and Spanish accents. Why? Have you already forgotten Billy Ray's lessons?

PUSSY HUNT

David Spade tries to nail every young starlet and model he can corner, employing sarcasm, baby talk, name dropping, and semi-sincere flattery. We follow Spade through LA's hippest night spots as he uses club lighting to mask his aging features. Between trysts, Spade shares his philosophy with the viewer, a blend of narcissism, dick jokes, and Rousseauian sentimentality, which turns out to be a cover for Spade's Hobbesian cynicism. Not that the girls understand the difference. They just want to see the Playboy mansion.

WALKING TALL

A sitcom where the actors perform on stilts. Not sure what the plot is or who the characters are, but come on! We're talking actors on stilts here! People will watch to see if they fall or crash into each other. Kinda like NASCAR on stilts, which is another good idea.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN F*?K

Wannabe porn stars have sex in front of celebrity judges Jenna Jameson, Nick Manning, and La Toya Jackson, who critique their techniques and offer advice on how to avoid most STDs. Manning begins to think he is the show and is fired amid tabloid controversies, replaced by Pauly Shore, then Bobby Flay, who insists that contestants eat a nice meal before sex while La Toya pleads for work in Vegas. By this point the original premise is unrecognizable, and not even Nick Manning's return can save it.

PLANTS HAVE MORE AWARENESS

Five teens mumble and stumble their way through suburbia, barely able to speak in complete sentences or understand the basic mechanics of everyday life. Nothing much happens. A dog might liven things up a bit, but these idiots would probably try to eat it. Dr. Phil appears, lectures the teens for ten minutes, pauses, looks at them, then leaves. He then bursts back inside, pretending that he heard something, but we know Dr. Phil reappeared because he's a fame whore and camera hog. The teens stare off into space.

QUEER HEIL FOR THE SKELETAL GAL

Ann Coulter is joined by reactionary gay men as they romp through New York City, spending copious amounts of money while advocating imperial war, privatization, corporate personhood, and the marginalization of Muslims. Tony, a graphic designer of Lebanese descent, has second thoughts, but is wooed back when the gang throws him a male stripper party at Log Cabin Republican headquarters. SEX IN THE CITY tongues TRIUMPH OF THE WILL which gives THE BOYS IN THE BAND a handjob.

GET OFF MY LAWN, MAN

A vanity project of sorts, where I try to keep kids out of my yard, not by yelling or threatening violence, but by telling them long stories about how much better music was when I was their age, and acting out bits from Monty Python and the original SNL. Also, I don't cut my grass, which adds to the mystery: Who's this old guy in the robe, and what's a Conehead?

pussy hunt wld kill on hbo

Stewart's focus on cable news channels and their corrosive influence on the body politic proved how disconnected he truly is. The vast majority of Americans don't watch these channels, so their lives and public behavior aren't coarsened by blather and sensation. Daily American life batters them enough without O'Reilly and Olbermann screaming in their faces.

Stewart's main audience are white, college-educated/age liberals with deep self-regard. For them, politics is basically voting Democrat and little more. This was seen on the faces in the crowd, and on several signs, celebrating superiority to Tea Partiers and the ability to spell correctly. Looking at them, you felt no sense of alarm, no anger about present conditions, no effort to make their desires (whatever they are) reality. Just solipsism, smugness, waving at the cameras like they were at a ball game. Afghanistan? The economy? Boring! Appletinis after the show? Sweet!

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2010/11/nurembore-rally.html

ha i just read that, and was considering posting to us politics sans attribution and making people guess...

http://www.profile-comments.com/images/tuesday/images/appletini-tuesday.gif

to perv and project

Walking through lower Manhattan, sunny windy day, I passed several outdoor cafes. Kids at tables saying nothing. Everyone texted or checked email. Were they talking to each other through their toys? Or chatting with others far away? Whatever the case, they rarely looked up. Thumbs twitching. Faces blank.

Younger friends say I'm a reactionary fuck. Get with the program, pops. This is how it is today. They're right to call me out. I welcome it. I'm decidedly retro, embarrassingly so. But what is their alternative? Where does this text-tit sucking land? Are they bending corporate tools to express something uniquely theirs? Or are they docile consumers dazed by brands?

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2011/04/textures.html

i loved Mr Mike but posts like the above make perrin seem like a clueless tool.

Said kids texting were probably saying variants on "There's this weird old guy walking down the street muttering to himself..."

as you know, I have to restrain myself from ripping such devices out of ppl's hands and tossing them in the Gowanus, so carry on.

Transforming deadwood into rhetorical questions – his specialty.

text-tit sucking

i feel like perrin's weird fusion of acidic curmudgeonliness and obliqueness have had a wonderful influence on morbz's posts

Those crazy kids doing all that 'communicating with their friends' shit - why even have friends? Because our corporate overlords tell us to?

DP and I have some mutual friends (well at least one), so now that he's visiting NY regularly I may run into him and say hi for all of you. I think he would be delighted to learn of your loathing.

do you recommend tweeting or texting him?

He's doing standup in NYC periodically -- Alfred, come up for that! ;)

http://wedgeblog.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/andy_rooney_2-2006_05_02-11_09_521.jpg

did Andy ever say, "I'm decidedly retro, embarrassingly so"?

All I can tell you is JUST WAIT til you get middle-aged crazy.

why are tweeting and texting worse than blogs and message boards?

Why are gumdrops worse than a sachertorte?

Mordy asked.

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2011/05/grave-dance-party.html

Not because I actually cared. Does he ever express sentiments that are recognizably human or are they all about how much more evolved he is than the rest of us?

no, it's kind of related to how we fucking murdered many times 3000 ppl to get the bad guy

and blow me

RedStateSon Dennis Perrin
Republicans have Viagra. Liberals, assassinations.
13 May Favorite Retweet Reply

It's redundant to note that only a Democrat could get away with this, yet it's all too true. That the liberal savior is overseeing the cuts must really sting his followers. I'm tempted to say they have it coming, but after Obama's debt deal with our owners' reactionary wing, we're all going to get it. Schadenfreude is dead.

This won't stop liberals from voting again for Obama. Nothing would. Obama knows this and serves his real base. The slaves will come crawling, thinking that their votes will stave off ruin and plunder. All they're doing is ratifying further political attacks on themselves. The brighter slaves understand and rationalize. The dimmer slaves smile and beg for more. Our owners remain untouched, free to milk the system anytime they choose. Their press agents insist that we're the envy of the world. Many of us believe it or want to, crumbling infrastructure to the contrary.

Old family photos portray a shinier past, when American power and wealth was at its zenith. Big cars, new neighborhoods, expanding consumer confidence. I bitch about today's tech toys, but looking back to my childhood, there were countless toys to go around. People bought the bullshit because they were able to buy things. For people my age and older, the steady American decline has been quite amazing to witness. It doesn't seem real, but that's the privilege of living in an imperial country. Fantasy is always an option.

I'm guessing this is why so many kids are jaded and cruel. What do they have to look forward to? What's it like to be a teen or young adult in this era? I haven't the slightest and desire none. I still believe another world is possible, but this may be age talking. Who can focus on alternatives when the life boats are sinking?

#Dennis Perrin
Obama: Throwing Palestinians under the tank.

I can tell Dennis how young adults "in this era" are.

#DennisThePerrin
Is there anything sweeter than dancing to 70's funk in your underwear in a cheap hotel room at dawn while swigging vodka? There is? Fuck me.

couldn't afford a hooker eh

or would that be contributing to a system as diseased as capitalism?

Is there anything sweeter than dancing to 70's funk in your underwear in a cheap hotel room at dawn while swigging vodka? There is? Fuck me.

Dancing in clothes that make one look good?

read that as "throwing Palestinians under the stank".