― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― anthony, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Honda, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― suzy, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
In [Spin] last year there was a fantastic article about [groupies] written by a [rock star]. He was pretty vitriolic about these girls but saved his ire proper for the [other rock stars] from Limp Bizkit, Asia etc who dated these [groupies], since he thought they weren't exactly conducive to his mission to be seen by [women] as having his own personality and equal intelligence as opposed to some wilting [air guitar] in a [slags'] wet dream. And he was very, very angry about all these cases of [rock star idolatry] in his vicinity.
I don't blame him for being angry, but at some stage what [women] think about / what they look at is going to stop concerning or annoying [rockists] (and even other men). What was really interesting to me was the boy v. boy vibes in the article, as if the [strutting rock star] had some culpability in the woman's ultimate disrespect for the type she chose to fetishise.
― Momus, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Mark C, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
The overall impression I got was that the writer of that Bust article was angry, but she really couldn't decide who she should really be angry with. The 'fantastic' (which is not to say 'good') nature of the piece was that I wasn't aware that there was any animosity felt by Asian-American women towards the Japanese etc. women for the reasons she mentioned. It was just weird. But I laughed myself hoarse when she said the main fetishists were guys of Scots descent!
The fact we can now prefer a racial type the way our parents preferred a certain hair colour has more to do with the exponential increase in jet travel than anything else. We do it because we *can*, and because the diversity of the modern city gives us freedom of sexual choice, allowing us to discover elective affinities previous generations never got a chance to discover.
― ALly, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Sean, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Big Fat White Butt, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― question mark, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
Which is largely why I take the side of Suzy's article-praising: this is in many cases solely a result of deeply demeaning stereotyping, albeit made non-threatening by the fact that the stereotyper thinks they're positive ones. Whether those who accept (or exploit) the stereotypes are any more to blame than those who apply them -- well, that's another matter.
NB: this is not to argue that certain individuals may have aesthetic or cultural preferences for certain types of people, but I strongly doubt that this is the case in even 25% of racialist fetishizing.
― |\|~+5uh, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
Behavioral expectations wrapped up with gender complexities = awful.
― |\|!+5uh, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
Momus: Honestly, in what proportions do you think fixated solely- other-race attractions are a product of (a) healthy impulses and inclinations versus (b) rigid mental concepts of how individuals of a particular sex and ethnicity behave? Clearly both exist: which do you think prevails?
It is entirely possible that my perception of this is skewed by living in the more broadly homogenous U.S., where there are broad and ugly strains of white women's Mandingo fetishizing of black males and white men's submissive-prostitute fetishizing of Asian women, and a properly-worded google search will reveal truckloads of porn sites that appear to support this assertion.
― Sarah, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― RickyT, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
It's funny what Suzy says about Scots, because it seems to me that in Brooklyn there's a thing with many of the local population of English boys being into South Asian girls.
― Benjamin, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― mike hanle y, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― toraneko, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
Asians preferring Asians or whites preferring whites generally involves less criticism because the preferences are working within an ethnic mundanity of sorts. An Asian who blocks out all other types of people can still be criticized perhaps, but this preference is a more understandable and natural one. It's difficult to perceive it as a degrading fetish since it crosses no ethnic lines.
That said, I'm not sure how often white-Asian couples actually involve any degrading element at all. I don't think it's fair to underestimate the perceptiveness of Asian women. At least in America, and especially in Berkeley where I live, Asians would probably never engage with, let alone last in, a relationship with some fetishizing white-boy monstrosity. If the issue is about naive submissive girls being taken advantage of, I don't see this as being the case around me.
― Honda, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― goeff, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
Perhaps if you'd introduced me to someone who seemed more like an equal to you than a foil or a yes-woman, or bothered to tell me something interesting about them before I met them, I might not have such a poor impression of what, to me, seem like a series of nice but in-over- their-heads young girls happy to endure Misogyny Lite if it means three months of being some minor pop star's plus one (Yoko, on the other hand, was not arm candy for an insecure guy who wanted to look trendy at art openings). But the only thing you appear to have in common with the girls I have met is this: they're interested in you almost as much as you are. But unlike you, they can get bored of you and go away, which, eventually, they do.
― suzy, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
Though I'm into the whiteys so call me a hypocrite. Though it would be pretty ridiculous if I tapped on your shoulder and swooned "omigod, i just love white guys"...
― phil, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Tom, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― RickyT, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― gareth, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Sarah, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― dave q, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― fritz, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
― Momus, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
*wakes up*
Did someone say 'pedestal'?
*rolls over, goes back to sleep, resuming dream about Hiroshi Sugimoto's 'Seascapes'*
― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link
i think you still have to analytically move from cuteness -> submissiveness, if you want to claim that these stereotypes are reinforced or even sourced from the cultures of the countries themselves?
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:12 (eleven years ago) link
aha, that aegyo/sajiao discussion: http://maddieloveskpop.tumblr.com/post/42022496537
― snapchats and tattoos (c sharp major), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:13 (eleven years ago) link
aaaaah i didn't realize that was 撒娇
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:15 (eleven years ago) link
is it a valid/commonly used term in Chinese? i was kind of curious about that.
― snapchats and tattoos (c sharp major), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:20 (eleven years ago) link
yeah for sure
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:21 (eleven years ago) link
in cantonese it'd be 嗲
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:22 (eleven years ago) link
would you mentally associate it, as a concept, with someone who performed a lot of sajiao? or are they quite distinct to you?
i guess particularly relevant to this discussion are troisroyeaumes' points on aegyo as non-traditional:
My take on the issue is that to actually pull off 애교 requires a level of self-assertiveness that is not in fact a traditional gender norm for Korean women.
In short, 애교 is a gender norm for women, but it’s a relatively modern one. Insofar that it is a norm that sets expectations of “feminine behavior”, it could be called anti-feminist. But I think that’s a facile analysis. I would say it is problematic but I can also see how it can coexist with feminist ideals…it just depends on what those ideals are.
― snapchats and tattoos (c sharp major), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:23 (eleven years ago) link
hmm, it can definitely be used to describe a person's character. i generally agree that it can co-exist with femininity? but obviously i'm gonna say that with a huge salt shaker in hand as a dude
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:26 (eleven years ago) link
i do agree that... it's a pretty active form of participation in a relationship and goal-oriented - not really 'submissive' in the sense of 'i will do whatever my partner tells me to, obediently, quietly.' in fact, it's sort of... the opposite
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:27 (eleven years ago) link
i definitely find sajiao easier to understand than aegyo, i guess because i have watched a sufficiency of mainland tv dramas (also, known more princessy mainland-Chinese girls than cutesy Koreans).
But yeah it all seems to exist in the range of being hyper-feminine as a kind of weapon? Which goes from supercute hanging-off-the-arm help-me-it's-so-haaaaaaaaaaard to the super aggressive girly style you still sometimes find among gyaru.
― snapchats and tattoos (c sharp major), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:32 (eleven years ago) link
yeah... which is the characterization of 'submissiveness' as a trait of being obedient, not talking back, etc. etc. is so... foreign to me, because none of the chinese women i've known (spanning all age groups) is like that at ALL, even when they are performing 撒娇 or 嗲. like, that's why it feels to me that that kind of trope is much more rooted in the history of colonialism/warfare than it is in any innate cultural values, at least ime - obv cant speak for korean/japanese/other asian cultures.
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 16:36 (eleven years ago) link
i guess another way of putting it is that these stereotypes are created and sited in the western mind; and after that, there's probably some kind of confirmation bias going on in the viewing of media from asian countries; like practically anything that is done in media from these countries is gonna be interpreted as being 'evidence' of these stereotypes? short of, idk, ball stomping. the production of gender relations from within the country is very different than how the west conceptualizes those relations, i think. orientalism etc. etc.
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
there is this sort of minor point i was going to bring up, about "preexisting structures of oppression", which is the super obvious point that different cultures have different structures of oppression?
here's my facile example: until quite recently, in Japan, the loan word "feminisuto" regularly meant "a man who is nice to women, like holding doors for them and stuff". In Japan there is no tradition of that kind of chivalry that's composed of holding doors open for women, carrying their bags, etc. Not that people don't do it, but it's not so deeply ingrained into ordinary gendered behaviour in the way it still is in e.g. the UK (in fact the 'traditional' image of a married couple, you'd see the woman walking behind the man, and also carrying all of the bags). This doesn't mean women in Japan have traditionally been more oppressed -- but it means that holding open a door for a woman, which in Europe is kind of a reference to a history of infantilising and disempowering women, became in Japan something that was nice-to-women in a specifically modern way.
But that seems pretty antiquated wrt modern gender relations now. e.g., again very minor/facile: my mental image of a hetero Japanese couple on a date these days - at any point over the last 15/20 years, i think? - very definitely features the guy carrying her bags.
― snapchats and tattoos (c sharp major), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
hah, that's super interesting
― 乒乓, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 17:06 (eleven years ago) link
but but, like you say, i think this thing continues to be sited in the Western mind long after it stops being practicably true: the idea of "Asian" women as a generic class who are more charmed by chivalry, as part of being more authentically feminine.
― snapchats and tattoos (c sharp major), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 17:07 (eleven years ago) link
oh geez, listening to a david choe interview (LA-based korean-american artist) and he's going on about how he does not recommend anyone dating a korean due to his annoyance with his family's cultural norms
― Dr. Adorbius (mh), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 17:26 (eleven years ago) link
If you go to the ICA in London, you notice that Japanese girls sometimes seem to be the only people there. I am, in human form, the ICA. I am sustained, like that venerable London arts institution, by the patronage and kindness of these hyper- cultuivated people. I also enjoy fucking them.
― Momus, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (11 years ago)
― The pathetic deluded pride that attends ignorance (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Monday, 8 July 2013 21:34 (ten years ago) link
Oh, that's a coincidence! Because I am, in human form, the British houses of parliament during the Opium Wars.
― Grampsy, Monday, 8 July 2013 22:24 (ten years ago) link
Meanwhile I'm the human Uffizi gallery, kept alive by people who mainly visit because they feel they ought to, and find the whole thing too hot and uncomfortable and their feet hurt.
― cardamon, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 16:44 (ten years ago) link
More seriously, I find it really difficult to parse debates around 'dating etiquette' and the ethics of dating, because I don't move in circles where dating actually happens. But lots of internet acquaintances in the US talk about it a lot.
― cardamon, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 16:45 (ten years ago) link
good Momus quote to dig up, cheers Nilmar
― mh, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 18:53 (ten years ago) link
I am, in human form, Tucson's rush hour - heavy and slow, and not passing enough water.
― pplains, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 18:57 (ten years ago) link
thinking of dating exclusively asian women after the current er indoors tbh
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 20:53 (ten years ago) link
what arts institution are you
― the most promising US ilxor has thrown the TOWEL IN (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 21:04 (ten years ago) link
i was looking through a bookmark file of mine from 2005 the other day, was pleased to find that the link to momus' penis still works
http://imomus.com/michaelangelo.jpeg
― i wanna be a gabbneb baby (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 21:05 (ten years ago) link
good Momus quote to dig up, cheers Nilmar― mh, Tuesday, July 9, 2013 2:53 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark
― mh, Tuesday, July 9, 2013 2:53 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark
i find asian girls typically hugely attractive. but i haven't dated any :(
Does this make me a bastard or not?
― darraghmac, Friday, 31 August 2007 13:05 (5 years ago)
think you might be the amsterdam rijksmuseum, closed down for refurbishment for a number of years but now opening up again
― the most promising US ilxor has thrown the TOWEL IN (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 21:06 (ten years ago) link
what a wonderful url
― Matt P, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 21:24 (ten years ago) link
down to the peg
― what a wonderful url (Matt P), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 21:25 (ten years ago) link
Got my yellow fever vaccine on Monday and today I'm down with one nostril constantly running, a migraine, dizziness and slight tingling/numbness of my left foot. These are known but somewhat rare side effects. Committed to going to the doctor tomorrow if I don't feel better when I wake up. To that end I've just had a hella generous hot toddy.
Also there was no CD thread for The Vaccines to post dud in twice. No-one needs to rectify this.
― Minister of the Pillow (fionnland), Friday, 10 August 2018 00:20 (five years ago) link
You can start a crossdressing thread fella no one will judge u
― F# A# (∞), Friday, 10 August 2018 00:23 (five years ago) link
I got a mmr booster, tetanus booster, hep first round and a yellow fever shot all in one day once and stupidly went out drinking that night. Four double whiskeys later my body was making the craziest sounds while I was puking.
― Yerac, Friday, 10 August 2018 01:14 (five years ago) link
U shlda recorded it
― F# A# (∞), Friday, 10 August 2018 01:30 (five years ago) link
Probably. I had a roommate at the time that said he heard whistling and woke up.
― Yerac, Friday, 10 August 2018 01:41 (five years ago) link
Ha
― F# A# (∞), Friday, 10 August 2018 01:43 (five years ago) link
puking after a dozen shots
― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 10 August 2018 01:58 (five years ago) link