Why doesn't everyone in the world want to shag Shayne Carter?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (223 of them)

I have not heard the Peter Jefferies period of Dimmer. I was a latecomer to the Shayne Carter phenomenon myself. It was late last year, I saw the video for "Hail" by the Straitjacket Fits, and ever since then Shayne has been my number one masturbation fantasy, speshally in that campy tight little spangly lurex top he wears in that video.

Was peter jefferies in Boyzone? Wow! He really is a drumming whore, isn't he?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh sorry i got boyzone confused with Plagal Grind.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Down In Splendour" was a bunch of shit. It sounds like a woossed out Oasis. SJ Fits didn't just start sucking when Andrew Brough left, they never really went off in the first place. I really only like a couple of SJ Fits early numbers such as She Speeds.

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

in reply to the original question though, i think everyone in the world doesn't want to shag Shayne cos they haven't all seen him.

Does anyone know if he has a big schlong? I bet he does!

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

when i saw them at nunfest they had enough power to light all of the southerm hemisphere,Was this in Dunedin? Yeah i was there, that was in their Dead C influenced stage, i forgot about that brief period. Snapper and Crude and the Dead C were much better than Dimmer that night though.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Does anyone know if he has a big schlong? I bet he does!

Does anyone have his email address? We could write and ask him.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

maybe if he does they could have a tv special on him, our world or something. Shayne Carter sideshow freak with his entirely inappropriately large member furled up in those jockey's white trousers. It truely would be a third leg.

Damn I wish Shayne Carter was reading this. Shayne, Shayne! I love you and want you to have my babies.

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hands off bitch, he's mine. he's already preggers to me anyway.

do you think we should e-mail a link to this thread to him? ;)

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I think it is our civic duty to not only send him this link, but the whole damn transcript. He has a right to know what the public are saying about him.

OK Di, you can have Shayne Carter, he probably thinks I am a man from my name anyway. But don't get greedy with everyone else. Maybe you should give me advice on dressing less like an Oamaru person, and reiterate to me that pink lipstick is not the answer

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tha nunfest thing was fun. i've regretted missing the Puddle with Lesley Paris drumming ever since (i arrived late to avoid the Magick Heads). What was that big bar called? The Provincial? i haven't been there since. is that where Menelaus goes to watch people vomit?

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I always thought Andrew was way cuter than Shayne - it's really Paul VS John, isn't it? (Albeit on a lower scale & stuff, of course.) Singing a song like "Big Fat Elvis" goes a long way in establishing the lack of sexiness in my eyes.

Is Dimmer going to, like, record an album or anything?

― David Raposa, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

duane knows his e-mail address. he offered to give it to me once but i said no, i might just use it to proposition him every five seconds.

Shayne, do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Shayne, hunny do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Shayne "Love Cushions" Carter, hunny do you wanna root?

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"love cushions" sounds like he has had breast implants

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no, just collagen injections

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

you two are so much more forward than me. i don't have a chance in hell.

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

hrmph. You know what I look like Hamish, I dont really have a chance at all. do I want a chance? I dont know. there are far more entertaining people out there I am sure. J'son perhaps?

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i got this off his website: Shayne Carter / Dimmer NB: all mail to this address goes via Dimmer Management. shayne@dimmer.co.nz

― hamish, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yes hamish, i'm sure shayne would be flattered by my desperation

― di, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

somehow I dont think this thread will get past management. A rock star is like a race horse you know, sensitive, highly strung, well hung. Well they should be anyway

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 20 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Why don't you just shag each other? Or did y'all already jump those bones?

― David Raposa, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

because none of us look like Shayne Carter silly.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Who's seen the insert to the Doublehappy's "Cut it Out" EP that features Shayne Carter in his underwear?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Haven't seen it Hamish. Is it worth while?

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

is that the one with the paper dolls? damn the doublehappys, the murdering monsters were going to have paper dolls of ourselves in our lathecut, but they damn well bet us to it (albeit by about 15 years or so).

actually i lied on the "so how many people have you shagged" thread. i am a virgin. sex with anyone other than shayne carter doesn't really count as sex.

i bet you enjoyed the video for "done", didn't you hamish? you pervert.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

can't remember - i think Liz has a copy for you to drool over.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no i haven't seen the video to "done". whats in it?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

right, I definitely will be making the long trek up the hill for that baby. David, if you are especially lucky we may be so overcome by Shayne Carters beautiful body that we have an impromptu orgy which I will tell you about in grotesque and technicolour detail.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

menelaus, are you matt middleton? ;)

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish I was, but I can't handle the ide that pornography is demystifying womens sexuality. I would approve if there was an 0900 number demystifying Matt's...

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh hamish... he's got his shirt off in that vid. phwoor! i have almost every Shayne Carter videoclip ever made, on videos labelled "Shayne Carter's Love Cushions: Volumes 1, 2 and 3." it has everything from "The Others Way" and "Needles and Plastic" to "Evolution" and "randolph's Going Home".

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

see i am more in love with shayne than you are. but i'll let you be vice-president of the fan-club.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh thanks i'll have to borrow the video off you sometime. i haven't seen "needles and plastic" either.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh and guess what my teddy bear's name is.

Gasp! So you get to sleep with Shayne every night then?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

easy Hamish, just call your duvet Shayne Carter.

I think I need to see these videos too

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I most certainly do. I bet you didn't know that the man responsible for such gems as "Needles and Plastic" was in real life a purple care-bear.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is Shayne Carter the pin-up boy from Flying Nun? Can a meaningful relationship be had with him, or is it all about sheer desire? Have I seen him live once? (Yes I have, with the Fits in 1993.) Can Brian do a spot-on imitation of him lisping the chorus to "She Screams"? (Yes he can.) Shayne Carter, ladies and gents! The man who will forever be known as the guy who sometimes collaborates with Alastair Galbraith.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

damn right, when we've all forgotten what he looks like he'll only be remembered for his guest appearances on the second and third Alastair Galbraith albums.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Are you trying to tell me, Ned, that i can't have a meaningful relationship with my teddy bear? I'll show you! My teddy bear has feelings, he bleeds just like anyone else.

― di, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

When I was a fresher, I went to a Shayne Carter gig at Arc. Shayne was quite rude to the audience and straight off first thing he said that he "wasnt fucken gonna play 'she speeds'". Nobody had even asked him to.

― rainy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes rainy thats a good reason why some people might not want to shag Shayne Carter. My desire is based on the fact that i've never met him.

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I really don't like teh way Shayne is spelt with a y, it seems somehow wrong, tarting up a good panelbeater's name like that.

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Does anyone know when Shayne's book is soming out?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Its a response to Matthew Bannister's "Positively George Street", not Madonna's "Sex".

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish he would put poetry and musings in it like Jewel. maybe I could get one for the coffee table

― Menelaus Darcy, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i have heard from many rports that shayne is an egotistical arrogant self-centred prat. that just makes me want him more.

― Mrs. Shayne Peter Carter, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

he said his book would have less lyrics in it than Matthew's so we won't get to see his beautiful teenangst lines in print. Whats everyone's favourite Shayne Carter lyric?

― hamish, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"her speeding and her freedom's what's appealing to me to stop her in her tracks"

I don't like the lyric in "Hail" about heads exploding. otherwise, i love that song.

― Shayne's Sex Slave, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

just wanted to post so I could sign off

― Shayne's bit on the side, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

how could you menelaus? i thought we were friends!

― The Mother Of Shayne's Children, Sunday, 21 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Skipping 123 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i'm really jealous of hamish's mystery note.
and anton had mystery flowers last year!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Thursday, 28 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

duh! it's obvious at first sight who it's from: it's got root don lonie for cash symbols drawn on it!!!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

we should tell clayton to go dehumanise them himself! hey tell me more about shanton's mystery flowers!

― di, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

ps hamish i'm retrieving my Love Cushions video collection from mene's today for your dehumanising pleasure. haha! i'm still cracked up by dean's impersonations of him!

― di, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i apologise for my shoddy sleuthing.
'twas in fact the young essss kayyyyy, and the pics were not root don lonie rat-things, they were doodles that had their genesis in X's and O's ie kisses and hugs awwwww

i can't find the dehumanisers web site. i heard their debut's coming out soon

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

two months pass...

My Credentials: Just like Shayne, I was once editor of Mercury - the school newspaper at KV. And, just like Shayne, I nearly got expelled for it (that's an answer to Di's querie, as above). Actually, it was a weak attempt to emulate Mr Carter, but admiration is not talent. My brother was also at KV and a friend of Di's flame.

So here is the definitive answer as at 1991 (you guys are too young!) - Back then, it was well known that the Speeder in that song played too often to the point that the great one would no longer play it was... Miranda Harcourt. I don't know her, but she is a her, so - Hamish - bad luck.

The real question is... Do you really want to shag someone who smokes cigarrettes while you go down on him? (I mean, listen carefully to lyrics folks)

― ex KVHS., Friday, 28 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh my illusions of Shayne as NZ rock god and deep introverted musso have been destroyed for ever! you people are foul, crawl back into the stinky Duniden flat from whence you came. It's a shame true fans such as myself need to defend his genius, aparrently he's read this - but nothing to add? anyone who genuinly loves shayne feel free to post some old school pics of him in his school uniform. (gay voice does not always = gay man)

― carteradmirer, Tuesday, 9 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

maybe not, but he combines it with a tight black t-shirt. therefore he is a chutney pumper.

― di, Tuesday, 9 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

....I honestly hope he doesn't read that

― carteradmirer, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

di now you must tell me about the straitjacket fits and doublehappys

― Ron, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

if jason ballard still resides in dunedin (i think senor zarakov, he know heem), he used to have a really great bootleg tape of the doublehappys live at (i think) the windsor castle in auckland, featuring a really great song i never heard elsewhere, "putting you out of my misery" and a really great stand-up routine by wayne elsey (while shayne was changing a string or something, i s'pose) where he tells a very funny joke about an ant fucking an elephant. they rocked and had charisma in spades.

― c., Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

ron, all will be revelaed when you receive the mixtape!

― di, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

i'm excited!!

― Ron, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

yeah jason ballard still does live on the corner of tennyson st with that fat guy. he goes out even less than me so it's blue moon time if you ever see him tho. but thanks for reminding me of that guy, i oughta go round & see him & yeah when i do i will axe him about that tape.

― peter rodd, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

say hi from me. and how are you yr own self, by the way?

― c., Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

real good right now! the sun's shining & i'ma go to the beach, swim in the salt water pool at st clair. it'd be so great if you were here man!

― d\rag, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

hey doorag, sorry for piking but i am afraid of freezing cold water and also i have a lecture in 50 minutes.

― di, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

i have always been here before

― c., Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm sorry I missed out on the st clair too - did you see the Vienna boys' choir there? Apparently they went to st clair and had a picnic and some time at the beach that day.

― halo halo, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

no i didnt see em but when i'm swimming i don't have my spectacles on so i can't see too good.

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

four weeks pass...

hey everyone i think i just saw shayne carter at records records!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 03:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hamish, I can't really believe that you want to sleep with Shayne Carter. I just can't believe it!

― maryann, Wednesday, 21 August 2002 03:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

So why does he sneer all the time like an "intense" 13 yearold? And is that meant to be sexy? I used to see him on K'rd all the time and I just wanted to give him a wedgie or something to stop him looking so silly. Obviously suppressed desire.

― Andrew Thames, Wednesday, 21 August 2002 11:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha obv he was trying to impress you!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 19:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

the straitjacket fits didnt sound like teen idol boy band to me, but i like these songs on yr tape, di. they did not make me want to shag shayne carter, though.

― ron (ron), Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

but have you heard Shayne in This Kind of Punishment? Now there was a teen idol boy band!

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

i haven't. i probably still won't want to shag him though ;-)

― ron (ron), Thursday, 22 August 2002 01:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

the doublehappys were more teen idol than sjf, they had wayne elsey and a young john collie in a polkadot shirt! hamish are you serious about desiring the jefferies brothers?

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

Why doesn't everyone in the world use the word "shag"?

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hamish can't live without Graeme crooning in his ear while Peter plays the piano to "On an Unknown Beach." It is his Dream of Lust.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

The young John Collie, now THERE was someone worth swooning over! SWOOOOOOON!

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 02:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Di: no.

― hamish, Thursday, 22 August 2002 04:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

What's wrong with the Jeffries brothers?

― maryann, Thursday, 22 August 2002 05:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

petra jkohn collie was at the quiz night last night and he's not swoonworthy anymore.

― di smith (lucylurex), Thursday, 22 August 2002 09:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

But i saw him at the Clean the other month and he was still all dimples and boyish good looks! And he still has a sensible haircut.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 22 August 2002 11:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

three years pass...

this was such a good thread, i'm glad i remembered about it.

― estela (estela), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Sweet memories. Now to get back down there (not to shag Shayne Carter, though).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 31 July 2006 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.