I don't generally have a problem talking about boobs, since my friends know I'm not a sexist pig or anything (and it's not like the discourse is on the level of "Har har, look at those hooters!" or anything), but I've noticed some folks find it sorta weird. So should I just keep my mouth shut if there are people I'm less familiar with around?
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:07 (seventeen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:11 (seventeen years ago) link
― StanM (StanM), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:18 (seventeen years ago) link
― Super Cub (Debito), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:21 (seventeen years ago) link
― Super Cub (Debito), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link
(x-post)
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:23 (seventeen years ago) link
No, but I once did, for example, ask a friend whether her boobs had gotten bigger. Which turned out to be an accurate observation, since she later told me she was pregnant.
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link
― ath (ath), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:27 (seventeen years ago) link
xpost
― DAVE, for #1 Hits of yesterday and today! (dave225.3), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:28 (seventeen years ago) link
― Super Cub (Debito), Sunday, 11 June 2006 20:29 (seventeen years ago) link
I don't think she really was that bothered about the question. We're close friends, for example when were flatmates she asked to wheel a lump on her breast.
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 11 June 2006 22:18 (seventeen years ago) link
― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 11 June 2006 22:36 (seventeen years ago) link
― Laurel (Laurel), Sunday, 11 June 2006 22:53 (seventeen years ago) link
― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 11 June 2006 23:01 (seventeen years ago) link
― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Sunday, 11 June 2006 23:09 (seventeen years ago) link
― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Sunday, 11 June 2006 23:10 (seventeen years ago) link
I don't think he should feel embarrassed to notice the sunburn. If you wear a top that reveals part of the breast, then it's perfectly appropriate to look at that part of the breast. Commenting on the breasts is perhaps not appropriate though.
In general, revealing part of the breast puts that part of the breast out into the public sphere and it will be noticed (And it is safe to assume that the women wants people to notice that part of the breast, otherwise why expose it?)
― Super Cub (Debito), Sunday, 11 June 2006 23:43 (seventeen years ago) link
― Safety First (pullapartgirl), Monday, 12 June 2006 00:18 (seventeen years ago) link
― naus (Robert T), Monday, 12 June 2006 02:25 (seventeen years ago) link
― The Jazz Guide to Penguins on Compact Disc (Rock Hardy), Monday, 12 June 2006 02:27 (seventeen years ago) link
― Dan (Guys, How Do You Feel When People Talk About Your Boobs?) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 02:50 (seventeen years ago) link
― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:06 (seventeen years ago) link
― Q('.'Q) (eman), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:27 (seventeen years ago) link
;)
― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:29 (seventeen years ago) link
― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:38 (seventeen years ago) link
-- Tuomas (lixnix...), May 29th, 2006 8:23 PM.
"sorry"
-- mookieproof (mookie...), May 29th, 2006 8:31 PM.
ew
-- RoxyMuzak© (emilys...), May 29th, 2006 11:09 PM.
― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:53 (seventeen years ago) link
First of all, I don't think talking about boobs is necessarily "checking out their bodies" - if I'm good friends with a person, they know I'm not thinking about them in an erotic sense, so it could be the equivalent of saying, "You're nose nose looks red today!" (Ailsa's sunburn story is a pretty good example). Secondly, if I've known someone for years, I'm bound to know what their body looks like too. Like in the case mentioned, I'd lived together with this girl as flatmates, so I was bound to notice that her boobs had gotten bigger. Of course I wouldn't say anything like "your tits seem to be sagging today" or "you seem to be getting fatter", but friends still talk about each other bodies, and boobs aren't an absolute taboo in this sense. Just yesterday I was out with a friend who was wearing a loose dress and no bra, and we were talking about how her boobs might pop out. It had nothing to do with checking anyone out, just the sort of jokes friends might make.
But anyway, I do occasionally talk about boobs with my friends (other people's and theirs), and it's not an issue. I guess I was more interested on how outside observers might view this, because there have been a few situations where other have witnessed these discussions, and afterwards I've wondered whether they've thought I'm rude just for mentioning the subject, or did they realize it was a friendly discussion. Because I wouldn't want the fear of being labeled a sexist limit the things I can talk about, and I don't think merely mentioning boobs is sexist, though it can still be rude of course. But still, girls talk about boobs with each other, and even though my gender and sexual orientation obviously makes it a bit different from me, I don't consider the subject a taboo among friends.
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 06:27 (seventeen years ago) link
While I can see your point re: familiarity and noticing when something's different, I stand by what I said about letting the subject speak first in most cases. If a friend came up to you and said "I couldn't help but notice your bulge seems to be a little bigger than usual today; what are you thinking about?" would you feel a little put-off?
It really comes down to how well you know the person. If you know they're open and not too body-conscious, then it would be okay to initiate conversation about their boobs. Otherwise it would be best to allow them to mention it first, playing it off with a gentlemanly "Well, it's not like I'm checking you out or anything..." or whatever, just to put them at ease and reassure them that it's a "just friends" type conversation. I have some female friends who have no problem getting changed right in front of me, and others who would be considered by most to be prudes. Everybody's different, and each person has their own line that you shouldn't cross.
But anyway, stop with this male liberal guilt! Your female friends know that you're a man, and they also know that you're sensitive to their issues. You don't need to be an apologist. If they want to talk about something with you, they most likely will. This is the 21st century, and you are in a relatively progressive country. If there's something you've just been itching to say to some girl and aren't sure if you should bring it up, then don't. And don't get sore about it.
As for your last part about when others are around, I wouldn't start a conversation like that in another's presence. She might be okay talking to you about her boobs, but not the other people present.
― naus (Robert T), Monday, 12 June 2006 07:51 (seventeen years ago) link
― naus (Robert T), Monday, 12 June 2006 07:53 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 08:16 (seventeen years ago) link
Yes, Tuomas, there is. Loaded, Maxim, Front, the whole 'lad' industry in general.
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 12 June 2006 08:40 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 08:43 (seventeen years ago) link
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 12 June 2006 08:47 (seventeen years ago) link
― guns to deal with vodka (haitch), Monday, 12 June 2006 08:49 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 08:54 (seventeen years ago) link
O RLY?
i thought it was all 'platonic' sauna frottage with you?
― Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:03 (seventeen years ago) link
If a VERY close friend indicates it's acceptable to talk about her boobs, then feel free to do so. Otherwise, don't. Full stop. The fact that YOU don't have a hang-up about it doesn't mean that it's going to be acceptable to all but a small minority of women (NB this may be different in Finland, where "your breasts are positively bursting with vibrancy today" may be the equivalent of "yours sincerely" or "hello", I dunno).
― Crimea River (Mark C), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:07 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:17 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:21 (seventeen years ago) link
― Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:24 (seventeen years ago) link
I have to say your comment about Roxy's boobs was the creepiest thing I can remember you saying on ILE.
it wasn't THAT bad. i've seen far worse on here, and not from he.
― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:25 (seventeen years ago) link
― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:28 (seventeen years ago) link
― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:30 (seventeen years ago) link
― Crimea River (Mark C), Monday, 12 June 2006 09:42 (seventeen years ago) link
― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 10:32 (seventeen years ago) link
― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 10:33 (seventeen years ago) link
― Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Monday, 12 June 2006 10:38 (seventeen years ago) link
― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 10:40 (seventeen years ago) link
See also street harassment, Eliza Doolittle.
Kenan, a pH imbalance in the vagina can also lead to vaginitis or yeast infection. But hey, as long as such things have never negatively impacted your enjoyment of vaginas there must not be a problem, right? (Don't freak out, I'm just fucking with you, although you did illustrate another way in which male commentary on women's bodies can be unnecessary and unwelcome.)
― Safety First (pullapartgirl), Monday, 12 June 2006 11:22 (seventeen years ago) link
I mean, who's gonna complain?
― But not someone who should be dead anyway (Laurel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:49 (fourteen years ago) link
Men with gynecomastia?
― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:49 (fourteen years ago) link
The boobs at the beginning of the final episode of Eastbound and Down were great huh?
― SourPatchCorpse, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:49 (fourteen years ago) link
[/i]Mine separate too, Abbots. It's an ideal not of this era, and it makes it completely impossible for me to ever wear a push-up bra or have cleavage. Oh well, boobies, eh?[/i]
Me too! I may have some of that swoop action going on but cleavage is something I don't think I'll ever really be able to acheive.
The ones I've known who have done this are the kind of girls that have back problems stemming from their boobs. Btw - I'm talking like sports bras for sleeping not lacy underwire type things.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:50 (fourteen years ago) link
wayyyyyy upthread: the reason 'banana boobs' hasn't caught on is that sometimes the kind of people you'd all hate refer to the man part as a 'tummy banana'
― going vogue (suzy), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:51 (fourteen years ago) link
xp abbott - yeah, I pick bras on the basis of bringing them closer together.
xp laurel - I think I read something somewhere that if you have boobs that move toward the sides to get a push up bra in a cup size one smaller than the one you normally wear.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:51 (fourteen years ago) link
Jenny Jones.
― SourPatchCorpse, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:51 (fourteen years ago) link
xp enbb - okay, yeah, I can see back problems thing ... but I guess it somewhat depends on your posture when sleeping.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link
But I thought boobs cause back problems only when you're standing/sitting? Shouldn't lying in bed allow them to rest even without a bra?
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link
(xx-post)
Bill Engvall used the phrase 'banana boobs' in a stand-up performance, which is 100% reason to hate it.
― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Um no because anything pushy-uppy just smushes them together and makes my chest look folded in the middle.
― But not someone who should be dead anyway (Laurel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Wikipedia page for gynecomastia v informative btw:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dc/Severe_Gynecomastia.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/56/Asymmetric_Gynecomastia.jpghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Adolecent_with_Gynecomastia.jpg (Z-Man!)
and
Television personality Richard Simmons suffered from gynecomastia as a youth inspiring him to pursue a career as a fitness guru.
― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link
x-post That's reason enough Abbott.
Tuomas - Like I said, having boobs big enough to either cause back trouble or necessitate sleeping in a bra is something I will never personally know about. All I know is that I have met a handful of ladies who do this. Sorry I can't provide you with the exact reasoning behind it. :-(
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link
See . . . they even make special ones for it http://www.sleepbra.com/
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link
Remember in Persepolis, her grandma wore a bra to sleep with pressed flowers in it?
― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link
Not that it's super relevant but I knew at three girls in college who had reductions to alleviate back pain. Like a fairly common thing
― bentley cadence (gbx), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link
OK I have know idea what this is or who this ppl are but they seem to have lots of opinions on the issue:
http://www.fabsugar.com/234741
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link
xxp it's probably easier for a lot of these women to wear a sports bra to bed than to try to sleep in a posture that isn't painful. Also, back problems really suck.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link
Hmm, that site doesn't give much explanation for sleeping with a bra either, except that they say it helps alleviate wrinkles and soreness of breasts. No mention of big boobs though.
(xxx-post)
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:01 (fourteen years ago) link
:-( what do you want from me!?
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:02 (fourteen years ago) link
To solve the mystery of bog boobs!
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link
big
Tuomas wants you to introduce you to these big breasted ladies so he can get first hand info.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link
I think that might be what it is.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:04 (fourteen years ago) link
lol the mystery of bog boobs
― Suggest this user to be danned. (dan m), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:04 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't know if I'm equipped to solve something that sounds quite that mysterious tbh.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link
My former girlfriend has DD cups... Maybe I'll ask her, if she can answer. She didn't sleep with a bra on though.
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link
hardy boys go pg-13
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link
There's at least one boob on this thread, for sure.
― But not someone who should be dead anyway (Laurel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link
x-post -- This might be appropriate:
http://www.pamelasuemartin.net/television/nancy_drew/images/caroonarama.jpg
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
bog boob : swamp crotch?
― bentley cadence (gbx), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
xp the banana boobs - for whatever reason I find them disturbing - probably because they don't have the width/roundness that I associate with that length/size.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:08 (fourteen years ago) link
On the hunt:
http://hardyboys.bobfinnan.com/hbsincom.jpg
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:08 (fourteen years ago) link
GBX :-( ewwwwwww
(although I suppose it could actually be a good equivalent to describe boob sweat)
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link
I remember that tv show and thinking Sean Cassidy and the other guy were far cuter than the guys in "Dukes of Hazzard" - I think I had an argument w/a friend about this once.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link
rip ;_;
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link
Don't worry bro they're all still pretty stacked
― bentley cadence (gbx), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:18 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't think we have Hardy boys in here... Are they like the Famous Five?
― Tuomas, Thursday, 9 July 2009 09:17 (fourteen years ago) link
since my friends know
― Killarney Hilton (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 June 2015 22:50 (nine years ago) link
A search of ilx reveals:
12 threads using the word "boob" in their titles66 threads using the word "etiquette" in their titles142 threads using the word "ladies" in their titles
― I Am Curious (Boob) (Aimless), Tuesday, 9 June 2015 23:09 (nine years ago) link
Dying at "the mystery of bog boobs" upthread
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 9 June 2015 23:59 (nine years ago) link
underrated wutang joint
― Killarney Hilton (darraghmac), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 00:03 (nine years ago) link
http://cdn.whisper.sh/0512f0fbf22035953461c057e0594b49166b19-thumbnail.jpg
― THREE WOMEN IN THE LIFE OF TUFFY CRAG (soref), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 00:04 (nine years ago) link
in some cases you gotta choose empathy over ethics
― drash, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 00:13 (nine years ago) link
Man, I was a bit naive 10 years ago, wasn't I?
I still talk about boobs (in a non-sexist way), but I sure know the proper boundaries better now.
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 10:58 (nine years ago) link
Hmm...can you give an example of your reformed boundary respecting approach?
― quixotic yet visceral (Bob Six), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 11:20 (nine years ago) link
it's a trap
― niels, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 11:27 (nine years ago) link
Sshh!
― quixotic yet visceral (Bob Six), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 11:28 (nine years ago) link
lol
― joked for the dadness (wins), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 13:02 (nine years ago) link