100 Reasons Why "Ignition - Remix" Is So Damned Great

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1. The rhythm is really insistent without being hard - it's got this sort of bossanova groove, just bubbling under the song, easing it gently but irresistably across

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

2. Writing a good "weekend" song is hard to pull off. I fear that the guy who prompted me to begin this thread will say "Nonsense! Anybody can write a good 'weekend' song!" When I see his "weekend" song on the charts, I will concede his point. Until then, I'll note that many, many "weekend" songs are released each year, but very few of them actually poke their heads above the surface. This is because most of them sound forced. R Kelly's greatest gift is his ability to sound natural; engaged; genuine. Even when he's singing in a very mannered fashion.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

3. How is this song in particular a good "weekend" song? For starters, there's the delay in mentioning the weekend. Note a shitty "weekend" song, Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend," for purposes of comparison, which shoots its entire wad in the chorus's first line & then has nothing compelling to say.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

4. Not so "Ignition - Remix." R Kelly delays the song's moment of revelation until the chorus's second to last line:

This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got evey man in her wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

5. I mean, Jesus Christ, you might as well fault Bob Marley's heartbreaking Wait In Vain because its substance is facile

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

6. "it's not rocket science" right right insofar as rocket science is boring

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

7. But to return to the lyric - what could be funnier than R Kelly's ongoing project of writing new lyrics in which to identify that the version you're hearing is a remix? Think R Kelly doesn't know that that's funny? Where the hell's my boy Trife, he knows what that kind of thinking is called: "racism."

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

8. Of course Kelly knows that it's funny to lead of a chorus with a line like "this is the remix to ignition." Kelly's whole persona, aside from his public/non-album one which has gotten completley away from him, is a greatly controlled, beautifully constructed thing. It's the good-time-lovin'/deep-thoughts-thinkin'/survived-it-and-came-to-tell-you-how-it-looks-from -the-mountaintop friend from your own neighborhood, assuming that your neighborhood was a poor neighborhood in the midwest. (More on this momentarily.) He knows his audience, and his audience wants him to keep it light when he's making a party song. That's what this is about.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

9. Here's where that "more on this momentarily" comes in. Your neighborhood probably wasn't Kelly's poor midwestern block, right? Wrong! Of course it was! Because he goes to great pains to universalize that neighborhood, not through long dull paragraphs like these you're presently reading, but by the miraculously casual tone in which he delivers songs that are anything but casual. Try "The World's Greatest": think there was no malice-of-forethought behind the "ad-libbed" part at the end where he substitutes "I done made it" for "I made it"? Think again. That's there by design. It sells you exactly what you're accusing Kelly doing accidentally: it convinces you (successfully, I'd add) that there's no artifice, no craft to it.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

10. Therefore, R Kelly has won and the terrorists have lost.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

11. The extra beat! The extra m*therfu*king BEAT! It's a held chord, is what it is, but it's the last thing you'd expect - right on the line "Bouncin' on 24s," right when you'd expect it to either go back to the tonic or jump into the chorus, and it just

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

12. hangs

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

13. there

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

14. And then we enter into the levels of reference again, which is where I get completely dizzy "Rollin' on 24s/while they say on the radio": what do they say? Oh, good God, they say what critical theory thought they'd say: "This is the remix to igntion"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

15. which is to say that the song describes a party where they're listening to the radio play a song describing a party where they're listening to the radio playing a a song describing a party where they're listening to the radio playing a song describing a party and well you get the general idea

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

16. Which is joy itself! The song has absorbed its creators, its listeners, everybody!

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

17. I take back what I said earlier about the song being dumb

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

Holy crap.

― David Allen, Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

18. I'm saving the rest of this for tomorrow's Last Plane to Jakarta update, I have to be at work in seven hours (it's midnight now) and I can't stay up any later yammering on about a point as glaringly obvious as the greatness of this wonderful, wonderful song

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

you maniac

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

(if anybody's interested, I really will finish this tomorrow, will probably both post it here & to LPTJ - warning, it'll probably also include why "The World's Greatest" is also quite triffic)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

19) Rum and coke is severely underrated and underrepresented in the world of weekend party booty jams.

― scott seward, Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah but then he mentions crystall and god knows that's overrepresented

― Brian the Snorf, Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

"Cristal," actually: personally I liked that weird moment that was all about Alize. Anyway, lovely, John, except the thing about "World's Greatest" is that he does that thing where suddenly he's turned into Sam Cooke, and while that's not nearly a bad thing I still have this reaction where I go "WTF, why is R Kelly turning to Sam Cooke?" and it distracts me from the song itself. (This also has to do with the fact that there's this guy who used to sing in the Chicago subways and was basically a really good Sam Cooke impersonator, and I start feeling like he's on the radio, and that's also disorienting.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 15 June 2003 05:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

― adam west (adamwest), Sunday, 15 June 2003 05:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

20. the vocal phrasing on the line "that's why I'm all up in ya grill/tryin' to get you to a hotel", hiccuping extra syllables out of the vowel sounds in a great rhythm which I've most definitely ripped off for a hi-hat pattern.

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

21. in the car, 2 months ago:

me: is this a coke ad?

nancy: yeah, i think so.

me: this sure has been on a long time

nancy: yeah.

me: holy fuck, this is that r kelly song everyone on ilm is talking about!!

nancy: wow.

me: i hope they play it again.

nancy: yeah.

me: is THIS a coke commerical?

nancy: i'm really confused now.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, Al, that's a good one.

22. Am I the only one who thinks he sounds like he's been through some shit on this song? Maybe that's my projecting real life onto the song. There's just way too much soul for a song about downing mix drinks, and you can almost here him trying. I mean, it sounds like he really needs to have fun this freakin' weekend or he's gonna stress out.

Actually, that's only in part of the song, and that juxtaposed with his obvious lust for partying has a great effect.

― Adam A. (Keiko), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

23) i played it at this party and everyone was juiced and all these punk rock girls sang along with the BUT SO WHAT IM DRUNK line!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

It occurs to me I've not heard this song.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 June 2003 07:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

24. He spreads the melodies through the lines, in fact he carries the flow of a particular harmony across a whole verse like... er..... Dose One, I guess.

― nick.K (nick.K), Sunday, 15 June 2003 08:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

I like the colour scheme in the video - it stood out on MTV

'thru ma 'fro' - wordplay. sweet.

― s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Sunday, 15 June 2003 09:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

25. That synth line in the background of the chorus! It sounds like the Human League!

26. There's something about the production that sounds stripped down just enough so it seems to (cough) "bear the devices"--I'm thinking of the drum fills just before the chorus, and the aforementioned synth line, even the way he double-tracks his vocals ("Sippin' on coke and rum [rum]/I'm like so what I'm drunk [drunk]")....It's like each device calls a bit of attention to itself because the overall production is so sparse (by contemporary standards). Even the relatively langorous way he sings "bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce" (I take it she's bouncing very slowly) calls more attention to that word than a typical R&B/hiphop track where "bounce" would be one of a zillion instructions spit out in 20 seconds or less.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

27. The asides in the lyrics: "I'm like, 'So what...'"

28. The good grammar: "Food everywhere / as if the party was catered"

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

29. I have to say this song fills me with a slight bit of hometown pride (I know someone who went to R. Kelly's high school! etc.) despite his rather foul offstage behavior. I picture R. hanging out at one of those massive Jackson Park BBQs with ragga blasting out of 10-ft-high amps.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

30. "I don' normally do this but, uh..."

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

31. When in fact he does normally do this - unless there's some Ignition Mega-Mix 12" coming (we should all be so fortunate), Kelly is claiming that he doesn't normally release the remix at all, then saying he'll let you hear a little of it, and then just playing it.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

32. And, well - precisely: this is more of that quality Kelly brings to the table that has enabled him to stay strong at the cash register longer than many: it's the dreaded "A" word, you know, "authenticity," all the baggage that carries.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

33. Not the authenticity of "here's my soul," though that's in there, too, and more about it later. The authenticity of "here's what I got, seems good, I'm not gonna mess with it much more." The authenticity of sufficiency, not excellence. The authenticity of excellence is exactly why so many people vomit when other people start goin' on about authenticity.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

34. I'm like, so what, I'm drunk.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

35. But what we're going to have to come back to is what Nabisco brings up & it's where any hyperbole in which we've been engaging will really find its feet and start doing the Charleston. "WTF, why is R Kelly turning into Sam Cooke?" because R Kelly is Sam Cooke

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

36. OK I have to go to work now (it's a quarter 'til seven in the morning), everybody keep the reasons coming

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

Sam liked 'em young too. Hopefully R. will not share his ultimate fate however.

I'd like to hear R. get busy a capella like on the second track of Night Beat.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

I have to drive 8 hours today and I haven't slept a wink!

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

37. YOu don't even need to own a copy to hear it all the time, just turn on the radio, or if you live in the city open the window.

― nick.K (nick.K), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

38. i dislike it profusely

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

39. It makes me want to buy a shotgun.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

40. stevem and Alex are...The No-Fun Brigade!*

*I have also expressed the same feelings about this song, but I was wrong.

― Neudonym, Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

41. Because the video has a 360-degree shot of R.'s incredible braidwork, and a funny "white guy learns to dance" part, and shout-outs to dead homiez.

― Neudonym, Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

don't get me wrong - i don't think its THAT bad, i just have no real feeling for it at all thats the problem. it doesn't excite me, it doesn't make me smile or anything. i wouldn't dance or wave a bottle of beer to it. thats not a flaw on my part or a flaw on the part of the song. JOhn makes good points about the track that i appreciate. and if you're able to ignore the fact that R Kelly is a complete tosspot then more power to you.

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

I was a family counselor on Chicago's South Side for a couple of years, and heard a LOT of "R. Kelly being bad" stories (as well as "R. Kelly is a really generous and nice guy" stories) that had NOTHING to do with underaged girls or Hi-8 technology. And I guess I'm pre-disposed to not giving a shit about artists' personal lives when it comes to their music.

42. Because the entire first verse has been reconstructed to sound like it's a prelude to a song that then (once the chorus kicks in) suddenly exists.

― Neudonym, Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

Actually, John, you are completely right about the Sam Cooke thing, now that I actually think about it (thanks), although it still takes me out of that particular song a little bit. Amateurist already hit the echo I like, but I would add that (a) the "bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce" sounds less like like casual dancing instruction and more like ballet, and (b) the "hot and fresh out the kitchen" brings out that good-time barbeque vibe something fierce, like this weekend fun is so wholesome that your mother's going to show up with some warm cornbread for everyone.

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

43. r kelly does not sport a 'fro in the video

44. r kelly has never once sported a 'fro to my knowledge

45. does this mean he referring to hair, um, elsewhere than his head?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

he struck me as a complete tosspot long before those stories emerged, for what its worth (apparently nada)

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:52 (6 years ago) Permalink

46. The way the original "Ignition" seagues into the remix on Chocolate Factory

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

stevem: just to clarify, I'm sure he IS a complete tosspot. but I don't really care when it comes to great singles.

― Neudonym, Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

47. Toot toot.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

but I don't really care when it comes to great singles.

as another aside, i feel this IS the correct way to think about it...but still i doubt i will ever like the song.

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

48. Beep beep.

― Arthur (Arthur), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

back around the time the album dropped, a few stations here would play the whole thing, original and remix, all in a row, as the 6-minute epic it is. i love both, but they really sound their best together.

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

OK so after reading this fine thread I decided to download a copy of the track, and HOLY SHIT! knocked my socks off! I'd heard it before in various background-music environments but never paid attention/realized what it was. I think I'm in love.

I'm totally with #7. I love that he identifies the song as a remix--it's a song about itself!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

49) The 'stirring dance'

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

he's just demonstrating that it is indeed hot and fresh out the kitchen

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 15 June 2003 17:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

Exactly. Greatness.

Plus:

50) His green-and-white wristband.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 15 June 2003 18:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

I kiss all of you so much right now.

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 15 June 2003 18:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

51. The very second before a Hip Hop artist (with a huge 'fro') was about to go on stage came over and confessed his love for the track, knowing that I loved it. A memorable moment for me as it was a risky time, months before the anyone had broken cover and rhapsodised about it.

52. It doesn't sound like a 'real' song, rather some studio experiment, or album interlude.

― nick.K (nick.K), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

BUT i'd normally cross oceans to avoid kelly but i accidentally heard this tune in the megastore today and christ, it's brilliant for abt 43 of the reasons described above. i will now have to reappraise my entire life.

― kieron, Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

53. ok I'm back

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

Wow. Brilliant thread, John. Somehow I haven't heard this song before just now, I just downloaded it because of this thread. (I listen to virtually no radio aside from WFMU these days, and I've never heard it on MTV or BET while channel surfing.) Thank you! It's a wonderful song.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

54. There's the sudden change in vocal tone in the chorus, right at "mama rollin' that body" - where R Kelly reveals himself to be not just a consummate soul singer, but a pretty clued-in one. Loop that damned line. "Mama rollin' that body": who's that? It's not Kelly. I mean it is him singing, but whose moves is he copping?

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

55. reggae, it's something reggae: dancehall specifically

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

56. Elephant Man? No, gentler

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

57. Ini Kamoze? No, that was what I thought, too, but no

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah, I thought the same thing--but I can't really identify what artist

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

58. Oh Christ it's Shaggy, where the hell did that come from?

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

59. Would anybody who's not comfortable with having their contributions posted as part of my weekly Last Plane to Jakarta update please say so before the thread's over, thanks

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

60. Yes I am aware that technically speaking that last one is not a reason why "Ignition - Remix" is so damned great, and neither is this one for that matter

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

61. But hey, what can you do?

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

62. Anyhow

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

63. (note also that the whole feel of the remix owes a fair amount to Buju Banton, of all people)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 19:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

64. let's posit that somebody involved with this record has heard some dancehall

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

65. and let's further posit that R Kelly is that guy, which is a lot more probable than the "oh-but-he's-do-dumb" crowd would like to admit, but all the disparate elements in his style suggest either the happiest accident of all time or a remarkable keen ear for when to put what where

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

66. I actually hear a little bit of Prince in it. I can't be too specific or refer to any particular song (though I could hear the backing track fitting in fairly well on Sign O The Times), but it's a general feeling. Maybe it's the keyboards. Like the best Prince songs, it has an ability to make you feel vicariously smooth and sexy, even if you are not a particularly smooth or sexy person.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

Why would anyone doubt that R Kelly has heard some dancehall?

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

67. Spot-on Matthew, Prince is in here

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

68. So's Curtis Mayfield

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

...the glasses...because he wants to

― s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

69. And Marvin' freaking GAYE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

70. So we've got the feeling of lots of reggae that most Americans have sadly missed just ripping across the front of the track, and this dumb weekend lyric that's not actually dumb, hitting-on-a-dozen-points vocals flexing so effortless that you might be forgiven for thinking it was guileless

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

71. since after all that effect is the point

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

69. that 180 degree head shot in the video is classic.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

That video online anywhere?

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

70. Julio you're right, this thread warrants at least two 69s

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

71. Haven't seen the video

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

72. Where was I? Oh yeah

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

73. A dozen disparate elements in play all at once and that's when Kelly throws in the deep emotional vocal timbre that is his unique gift, and it's just where "adamwest" said it was:

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

74. "bounce bounce bounce bounce"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

75. I mean listen to that, for the love of heaven listen to it, it's the depthless endless joy of pop music compressed into one word repeated four times

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

76. john you have to see that video!

77. you'll spend the rest of yr time wondering abt that one shot.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

Sorry, but I don't hear Prince or reggae, I hear R Kelly.

(ps. Beyonce & Jigga's new single pretty much kills this tune)

― ss, Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

78. gotta be R's a big Orson Welles fan from the sound of it - crazy, crazy times

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

79. beyonce's new single is great.

80. at least as good as kelly rowland's last one

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

81. twenty posts to go and it's finally getting away from me

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

Hmmm I smell Kanye West.

― ss, Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

82. (if you don't hear reggae on that one line, ss, you're not listening, I mean it's blatant)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

If you mean the little toast bit in the middle of the chorus, well, it's hardly fundamental to the record is it

― ss, Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

83. the vibrato, the misplaced depth of feeling, the totality of it: "bounce bounce bounce bounce"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

84. (of course it's fundamental, it's a pop song, every line is fundamental)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

85. (especially the ones in the chorus)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

86. ok now where was I - oh yeah

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

It's a pop song insofar as it's very popular. Otherwise it's an RnB record.

― ss, Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

87. come on john you're nearly there!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

87. but beyond the pop joy of "bounce bounce" it's the sound of beleaguered R Kelly, whose troubles are known to even a casual pop listener but are known well by exactly the people who he'd rather knew nothing about them: people like me, the people who bought TP-2.com even though it had one of the worst album titles of all time

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

89. if its in the charts its a pop record

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

90. I'm tryin' Julio but ss wants to argue with me, you know how hard a time I have resisting arguments

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

91. and he doesn't number his post like i'm doing

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

92. dude I appreciate it more than you know, next time I'm in London the pints're on me

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

93. assuming you're in London I mean

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

94. yes i am.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

95. the shameful video & the rejected-by-Chicago-radio business & his sudden unwanted transition from known-but-not-huge pop star to universally-known-and-laregly-shunned tabloid coverboy, he's pushing that all to the side and taking aim

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

96. and where is his aim

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

97. well let me just answer that question

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

98. with a question:

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

99. "Where the party at?"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

100. Thank you, good night

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

good night.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

101) then after the show its the aaaafter paaaarty / and after the party its the hotel lobbbbby

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

'i will gorgeously re-sing an element of my previous hit fiesta to show you how this new song is astonishingly superior to that previous high water mark'

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

previous previous previous, shamefully i didnt even like r til fiesta remix now i adore him

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

and it felt sort of shameful since jay was on it and stuff, im happy this new song is converting so many people now by being a perfect example of what he does best and without a rap even!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

102) We can get this far without mentioning 'it's like murder she wrote'.

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

103) if the ilx massive takes this thread up to 200 reasons then world domination cannot be far off

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

104) and you're right Cozen the "it's like murder she wrote" line is genius

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

105) and totally incongruous.

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 15 June 2003 20:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

106) well yeah hence the genius

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 21:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

106) aye

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 15 June 2003 21:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

107) How is it that a man who can make a song as horrible as "I Believe I Can Fly" also create something as perfect and sublime as "Ignition (Remix)"? Somehow the fact that he has made some truly awful songs in his career makes this song even better.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Sunday, 15 June 2003 22:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

"then I'll take it to your room and--- (beat rat a tats) ---somebody."

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Sunday, 15 June 2003 23:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

108)After the "peeing on a 14 year-old" thing broke, R. was a shamed, sorry human being, looking for a hug. Then he realized he could still sell records, and now it's like he revels in being sexy in a kinda lectcherous way. This is his rebirth.

― Colin McElligatt, Sunday, 15 June 2003 23:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

109. It doesn't sound very reggae or Prince to me, but Philly soul. It's really got the same sort of smoothness.

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Sunday, 15 June 2003 23:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

I NEED TO HEAR THIS SONG SO MUTHERFUCKIN' BAD!

Goddamnit! Why I have I not heard this yet. Who DENIES me?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 15 June 2003 23:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

110. That even though I've thought about it for months now, I still can't figure out what the closing metaphor ("You must be a football coach/The way you got me playin’ the field") means but I still smile everytime I hear it. Someone wanna try to parse that rhyme down?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 16 June 2003 00:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

"If there's grass on the field..."

― Kris (aqueduct), Monday, 16 June 2003 00:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

What do you guys think of "Snake"?

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Monday, 16 June 2003 00:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

Cuz who's the football coach? And if it's another woman, why would she be pleased to hear that she's inspired RK to fuck around? Is RK fucking a HIPPIE?!?!?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Monday, 16 June 2003 00:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

Can someone explain what Murder She Wrote has to do with the lyrics? I am totally fucking baffled by that reference.

In context:

now its like Murder She Wrote
once I get you out them clothes
privacy is on the door
still they can hear you screamin' more
girl im feelin what you feelin
no more hopin' and wishin'
I'm 'bout to take my key and
stick it in the ignition

I......can't.....stop.....listening.....to......it.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 01:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

About the football reference - you know, she's making him work hard to get her (he's "playing the field" = out to get girls). So he's playing the field, like football. She's, um, like his football coach. Or something. It barely works, but I get it.

111) What does this song have in common with the original "Ignition" besides some lyrical similarities, chiefly the really awful "stick my key in the ignition" vagina/woman = car thing? How is a completely different song on every level a remix?

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 01:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

murder she wrote = screaming overheard from behind closed doors?

― minna (minna), Monday, 16 June 2003 01:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

well, it's based on the same drum pattern/sound as "Ignition", although it adds in some hi-hats and stuff, and expands on the famed "bounce bounce bounce bounce".

also, I think "Murder She Wrote" is being employed with the same meaning as "that's all she wrote". that is, it's ovah.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 16 June 2003 01:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

I don't know. I think of a band like the Ramones who used the same drum pattern/sound all the time, and repeated lyrics too, and yet it is easy to accept those all as being different songs. It's just funny to think of a song which sounds very, very different from another with shared elements being considered an alternate version.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 01:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

also, I think "Murder She Wrote" is being employed with the same meaning as "that's all she wrote". that is, it's ovah.

Exactly what I was thinking.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

I guess that makes sense, I'll go with it.

But "murder" and "that's all" have the same number of syllables! Why sing "murder" instead?

So weird! But I like it.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

What does this song have in common with the original "Ignition" besides some lyrical similarities, chiefly the really awful "stick my key in the ignition" vagina/woman = car thing? How is a completely different song on every level a remix?

You have to hear the two side by side on the album for it to really click.

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

Are there any other similarly great songs on Chocolate Factory?

The only R Kelly album which I own is the record with Jay-Z, which has some fantastic stuff on it, "Honey" and "Shake Yo Body" in particular.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

"Murder She Wrote" = Chaka Demus & Pliers dancehall hit from early '90s. There's your reggae link John D.

There's also the whole "I'm-a murder that coochie" vibe there that is mighty distasteful if you think about it much but who's thinking? To think is not TO DO. And that's ALL he wants to do.

― Neudonym, Monday, 16 June 2003 03:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

Are there any other similarly great songs on Chocolate Factory?

The title track and "Snake" are pretty great, but the album, on the whole, is unremarkable.

― Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Monday, 16 June 2003 03:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

Does anyone here remember "You Remind Me of My Jeep" from like three or so R Kelly records ago? Similar idea to "let me stick my key in the ignition" but far more ridiculous.

― sammy, Monday, 16 June 2003 04:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

112) He starts with an apology: "I'm not tryin' to be rude..."

113) How slow is this damn song? You can't mix it with anything. The party slows down like bullet time when the man walks in.

114) Said party is suspiciously like a gender-segregated seventh grade dance: fellas on the left, honeys on the right. The ringmaster's job is to bring them together.

115) Stretch Navigator...yes, a simple Navigator isn't enough to contain this party; however, all overt bling (Cristal, Nav) is strictly throwaway in the verses. The important stuff is in the chorus. Toot toot.

116) *Freakin'?* Who says freakin'? It's like he just finished watching Goodfellas and Casino on broadcast television before he wrote the chorus.

― r. geary (rgeary), Monday, 16 June 2003 04:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

I got so hooked. I think I listened to this song 100 times today.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 16 June 2003 05:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

that chorus is like crack

― s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 16 June 2003 05:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

i like his fat mate doing the bouncy hand gestures behind him in the bit with the shelf of bottles - why he there ?

the nerdy clothing jewellery mix, the crouchy dance, that video is great.

he doesn't have a fro in the vid = it's all about the wanting/ the dreaming, ever been at a cool party but thought damn..if only (x) would happen this would be a McCutchian perfect moment.

― s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Monday, 16 June 2003 06:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

117. It has saved ILM!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 07:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

118. The way the chorus sounds totally wistful for an as-yet-happening present ('the weekend' is here!)

119. As noted by Tim F, the fronthanded backhandedness of the bawdy insinuation of those kick drums.

― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

113) How slow is this damn song? You can't mix it with anything. The party slows down like bullet time when the man walks in

There was a spot on the Saturday Show at the weekend where one of Blazing Squad was dj-ing, mixing it with garage. Sounded great.

― David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

There's a much faster garagey mix doing the rounds, I hear it a lot in shops. I don't like it, though.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

The Blazing Squad guy was just mixing a garage record over the R. Kelly at what sounded pretty much like its original speed. Not sure what the bpm of the R. Kelly is but it's very slow so it might well be an almost exact half of a typical garage tempo, say 140->70.

― David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

120. OK, this far in, and STILL no one has mentioned the best part of the song - the sing-song back-and-forth at the very end of the song, in which R. Kelly trades lines with, um, R. Kelly.

121. Also, I have to reiterate: "And after the show, it's the afterparty/And after the party it's the hotel lobby/'Round about 4 you gotta clear the lobby/And take it to your room and ___ somebody."

― NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

This song is seriously one of the worst things on the radio right now. Worse than A Simple Plan. Worse than the new Live single. Worse than the enervated, uninvolving Black Eyed Peas/JT single. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever and every time it comes on the radio I always want to beat R Kelly about the head and shoulders with a bat for the intervening seconds it takes for me to lunge across the room and switch the station.

The beat is horrible. There's no meat or presence to it whatsoever. It doesn't even try to work a mellow groove; it just sits there and farts along like a senile gassy grandmother. R Kelly's singing cadence is HELLA ANNOYING in this song; it's like he's doing a Wierd Al parody of himself with every vestige of humor carefully excised with surgical precision. The song itself is dumb even by R. Kelly standards; the robo-delivery highlights this in the worst possible way.

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE IT HAS THE WORST CHORUS ON THE RADIO. Even Eminem's deeply-embarassing yelping in "Sing For The Moment" is better than this shit. Also, for such an allegedly-catchy song I'm having a really difficult time remembering how it goes.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

dan perry read the instructions!

― minna (minna), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

i made a thread POX: r kelly

― minna (minna), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

I resisted this thread as long as I could but in the end I had to say something.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

no you didn't

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah, i am fucking sick of that shit

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

at least ned hasn't heard the song so we don't have to sit through another of one of his hilarious timberlake-eminem style "jokes"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

bit on the emo side today are we jess

(kidding kidding please don't yell at me)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

I sense bitterness.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

I had to say something

no you didn't

There's no law against him intruding into 'your' thread. I like it when people ignore the petty strictures of thread makers. You can always edit out his comment when/if you revise your web page if you think it spoils the 'momentum' (oh and because his post didn't have a number, let's not forget that).

― David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

bit on the emo side today are we David

(not actually kidding, my response to Dan was in the spirit fun, not the fun-free dour game yer bringin' - also, this stopped being my thread at #100 if not before, and I uploaded last night)

(ps please number your contributions, thanks)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

I said if you update it. Some of the numbered posts above 100 are a lot better than some of the earlier ones.

― David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

Once I saw the thread had gone up on the website I felt much less guilt about saying something. Then I thought to myself, "Why the hell should I feel guilt about expressing my feelings on this song?"

In the spirit of the thread I'll say one positive thing:

122. The song doesn't go on for 20 minutes.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

123) The "check it out!" - we're having fun in the verses, but here comes that chorus again!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

The song doesn't go on for 20 minutes.

124) but the version I just finished putting together in AcidPro does and is winging its way toward your inbox even as we speak

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

125) just kidding

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

126. The song inspires much Darn1elle comedy at my expense.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

127) music makes the people come together

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:52 (6 years ago) Permalink

128) Dan you know I love you & besides anything I ever say against you is only 'cause I'm jealous that you've got a harvard.edu address

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

129) not actually being sarcastic there, neither

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

Time for the '100 Reasons the '100 Reasons' Thread Is So Damned Great' thread --

*Jess beats Ned down*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

128. I mean, freakin weekend? finally. Like so what I'm drunk. I just had some shitty time, around tuesday, there was like one thousand plus people outside the courthouse and I thought, oh um, damn, and how can I get outta this, am I getting outta this. Wednesday afternoon a fed ex came, fed-exed, saw a copy of the videotape, why did I make that goddamn videotape, and it was hot, but, you know. why. and thursday met with lawyers, whole team of them bleedin me dry, goddamn, they bleedin me dry, and will get me off, will get me off. and friday the deposition did not go well DID NOT GO WELL, so I came home and ironed creases into my jeans and popped in a 5 carat stone into my ear ($50,000), and hit the ride, and hit the poolside, and hit the coke and rum, and hit the bitches (remind me of my Lexus), and hit the bar, and now here I am in the lobby, and oh yeah like so what I'm drunk.

― scott m (mcd), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

130) that drum, that drum, dear god that drum. Everything dance music has to teach (soul) about quickening the pulse, in one second.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

131. What drum? THERE IS NO DRUM; this is one of my main gripes with the song.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

132) Scott that was so, so good, God bless you

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

133) "we just thuggin this out", as blatantly false a statement as you are likely to find this year.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

134) and where, exactly, are we just thuggin' this out? oh yeah: "on the reeeeemix"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

Also, for such an allegedly-catchy song I'm having a really difficult time remembering how it goes.

134. I haven't heard this song in a few weeks (I want to listen to it now!) but reading through this thread brings the whole beautiful thing back. (Also, as someone who's only recently started listening to Top 40 radio again, that's how I knew it was a good song: after I heard it once, it was in my head all the damn time.)

135. I was just singing it a few minutes ago with a 21-year-old African-American girl I work with. She sang most of it; I did some bass harmony on "after party" and "hotel lobby."

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

...this thread IS meant as a sarcastic joke, isn't it...? Isn't it?

Sheesh - the wit, wonder and wisdom of R Kelly?

Please..........

― russ t, Monday, 16 June 2003 14:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

137) "we just thuggin this out" is 2003's "dancin, yeah, real hardcore" from the dodger's "rewind"...hardman sentiments pressed into the service of the soppiest mid-tempo fluff of the year, crooned in ultra-sucrose swingbeat style

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

What drum?

138. (oh alright then). Dan he means (I think) those periodic beefy snare rolls that, as well as giving an exciting lift at various points, also serve to fill in the gap between 'and' and 'somebody' on the last line of the last verse).

― David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

139) the same subtle dancehall inflection informs both kelly's vocal on this track and c david's on "rewind"...coincidence?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

140) also, "rewind" had the benefit of being one of the first "out front" singles of a New! Now! genre...kelly's single is a total genre-exercise (on the surface, anyway) making his victory that much sweeter, since he's not got the subtly-avant-garde/underground angle to work

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'd be delighted if this format were adopted for other great singles, you know.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

141) also the drum repeat (not snares) in the murder she wrote verse. The first lines have no drums, so the next two are doubled.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

142) plus: craig david never pissed on any 14 year old girls. that i know of.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

143) it would certainly make him more interesting since he's basically got the personality of a boiled cabbage.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

144) it's pretty clear that we're living in the end times of a crumbling, decadent empire, and i can't imagine smokey robinson peeing on 14 yr old girls anymore than i can imagine him naming himself after a shoe brandname. but, if we ARE living in the end times of a crumbling, decadent empire, we could do a lot worse for a house songwriter - from a sheer technical proficiency standpoint - than r kelly.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

you people are all barking mad, you really are.... you truly ARE discussing the supposed merits of R Kelly.

Oh dear......

― russ t, Monday, 16 June 2003 14:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

145. better than discussing the merits of indie assholes like morrissey.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

Have you heard the track, Russ? I too had a heart full of hate for r. kelly, but this is really genuinely fanstatic.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

146. Morrissey of late (where by "of late" I mean "for the vast majority of his solo career") is as much of a worthless throwaway as this R. Kelly song is.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

147. Julio "Everyday Is Like Sunday" is the perfect indie companion to this song (there are two days in a freakin' weekend after all)

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

148. dan perry in being completely wrong again shockah!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

149. Tico that could be true in yr universe.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

150. Solo Morrissey has produced exactly as many good songs as R. Kelly (ie, three).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

151. I have heard v little by either. the 'score' is: r kelly 1 really great song (+video), morrissey solo 0 (haven't seen any videos).

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

152. Dan that "Morrissey solo has only got three good songs" is mentalism of a very high order

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

Dan Perry, it is very unfortunate that you don't like the song. I'm sorry. You're totally missing out. But do you have to try to wreck this thread with your whining and weak attempts at critique and humor? This is about LOVING the song. Start another 100 Reasons thread about why you hate it if you've got to, but leave this be.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

153. It is my sole mission in life to wreck this thread for Matthew Perpetua.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

Dan's critiques are at least actual critiques based on listening to the song, unlike comedy bogglement that anyone could even be discussing it or one-line dismissals.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

yes on ILM there have been these kind of threads ('reasons to hate/love song/artist x) on ILM before and there are ppl who do put in the opposite view (I did that when there was some similar thing on reasons people hate the doors but that was a long time ago) and that's fine.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

154. This thread has now gone to 154 reasons.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

155. and 154 is the name of a wire record.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

156. 57 more balloons than Nena had.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

157. this thread made me download a whole bunch of R Kelley songs. the best part of all of them is in "I Wish" when he's talking about this guy who'll "always be his nigga" and he goes "radio don't take the 'nigga' out this song'

― JasonD (JasonD), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

I've been defending this song for about two months now. Thanks.

btw: The "murder she wrote" line requires reference to the dancehall original. Chaka Demus and Pliers sing 'bout hot gal wit di angel face and di devil heart. Dem gal act "flirty flirty" when dem "character dutty."

I think this is the kind of chick Mr. Kelly is talkin' about.

Oh, and that lazy fall into the chorus. Heavenly.

I don't, however, really feel the dancehall here...it's WAY too slow and lazy. It's got more of that Club Med reggae vibe. If it was over something like the diwali (see Wayne Marshall's "No Letting Go"), I might be willing to agree. Even then, dancehall deejays are anything but lazy and that's the charm of this tune.

― cybele (cybele), Monday, 16 June 2003 18:52 (6 years ago) Permalink

158. Man JasonD that version of "I Wish" is so goddamn beautiful I can hardly take it

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 18:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

159. Dave Chapelle did a parody of this song on his Comedy Central show. It is so much better than the original:
http://comedycentral.com/tv_shows/chappellesshow/showclips.jhtml
lemme get a poop poop

― Brian Bruxvoort, Monday, 16 June 2003 19:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

160. Based on the fact that you are talking about the Chapelle Show, which blows, and that last phrase, I can say, without having seen said clip, that you are WRONG WRONG WRONG!

― NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 16 June 2003 19:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

161. John Darnielle's big-upping of this song is due to him appearing in the video as the white dancer </slander>

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 19:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

I like Dave Chappelle and all, but his show is so hit and miss. That parody only has one thing going for it: "Poo poo, pee pee." It's pretty bad otherwise.

162. But the song holds up despite the bad parody.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Monday, 16 June 2003 20:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

163. No matter how loud you turn the song up, it still sounds somehow muted, low and subtle and chilled-out. It managed to keep me sane through a day of innumerable hot, sticky and crowded tube journeys.

― cis (cis), Monday, 16 June 2003 21:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

161. John Darnielle's big-upping of this song is due to him appearing in the video as the white dancer

164. Ain't/no/half/steppin'

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 21:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

165. the fact that 'R' stands for Rob

― JasonD (JasonD), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 07:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

Jess is absolutely right about the "Re-Rewind" parallels

― Mike Ouderkirk (Mike Ouderkirk), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 07:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

166. Unsurprisingly, I hate "Re-Rewind", too.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 11:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

167-354 -- that's 1point for every second of this video

― JasonD (JasonD), Saturday, 23 August 2003 04:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

btw, if you don't like stupid college kids wasting time in the dorms, please don't watch this video and complain to me later.

― JasonD (JasonD), Saturday, 23 August 2003 04:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

355. I just heard this for the first time last week and I'm still recovering. Also, this is the greatest thread ever.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 13 November 2003 06:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

8 months pass...

I just heard this song for the first time this evening, on my way home from work, and on my way to a party at my house. Total unbridled enthusiasm

― fizzcaraldo (Justin M), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 07:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

The whole melody is The Jackson 5... brilliant

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 09:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

11 months pass...

358. it is STILL GREAT TO THIS DAY and probably forever

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Monday, 8 August 2005 13:31 (4 years ago) Permalink

I'll admit, Ignition V2.0 is far better than the original 747 mix. That high pitched bass note on the offbeat and the delayed intro are extremely powerful!

Wait, we are talking about Dynamix II, right?

― PappaWheelie (PappaWheelie), Monday, 8 August 2005 14:55 (4 years ago) Permalink

11) What does this song have in common with the original "Ignition" besides some lyrical similarities, chiefly the really awful "stick my key in the ignition" vagina/woman = car thing? How is a completely different song on every level a remix?

same chords/bassline

― noodle food, Monday, 8 August 2005 15:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

6 months pass...

check out my R. Kelly spoof on http://www.fullmoon316.com/
and give me your honest opinions.

One Love.

― Wolfe, Bryan D., Sunday, 26 February 2006 22:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

PICK ANOTHER F*CKING ANIMAL ALREADY!

― team jaxon (jaxon), Sunday, 26 February 2006 23:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

R. Kelly spoof

----this is the sound of me backing out the thread slowly.

― deej.. (deej..), Monday, 27 February 2006 02:43 (3 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

still great

― teeny, Sunday, 14 October 2007 22:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

359. this is the only song i listened to the year i graduated from high school and is inextricably tied up in my mind with weeks on end being drunk with high school friends and having the best time of my entire life smoking metric tons of weed in my garage

― max, Sunday, 14 October 2007 22:44 (2 years ago) Permalink

bump.i was just watching music videos on youtube and was reminded of this ,easily my favourite ever thread about music

― robin l, Monday, 22 October 2007 10:28 (2 years ago) Permalink

This thread makes up for any Egyptian Lover-related beardiness twice over.

― The Reverend, Monday, 22 October 2007 14:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

A few years ago, on his blog, the white folk rocker John Darnielle declared his admiration for R. Kelly’s new R. & B. single “Ignition.” Thirty years ago, Darnielle might have attempted to imitate R. Kelly’s perverse and feather-light soul. Now he’s just a fan.

― da croupier, Monday, 22 October 2007 14:29 (2 years ago) Permalink

^^^was gonna make this zing when i saw thread had been bumped

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 22 October 2007 14:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

6 months pass...

Probably has the best example in music of rhyming a word with itself, specifically "lobby".

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 11:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

This is gonna be a highlight of future VH1 'I Love the 00's!' shows in the future

― baaderonixx, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 12:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

― forksclovetofu, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 13:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

still the ultimate weekend song

― Fetchboy, Saturday, 9 May 2009 17:23 (6 months ago) Permalink

This is my favorite ILM thread.

― magna cum lord (The Reverend), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:00 (6 months ago) Permalink

28. The good grammar: "Food everywhere / as if the party was catered"

― amateurist (amateurist)

Good grammar would be "food everywhere/as if the party were catered".

― lil waynes babymama (musically), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:05 (6 months ago) Permalink

like "hey ya" or "crazy" this is another song that i love but really don't want to hear ever again

― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:07 (6 months ago) Permalink

also ruined by the amount of non-rap/r&b listeners who're all OMFG GREATEST SONG EVER R. KELLY LOVE THIS but don't want to dance to say.... "step in the name of love" - yeah it's an awesome song but let's move on

― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:09 (6 months ago) Permalink

let's step on

― s1ocki, Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:25 (6 months ago) Permalink

seriously tho this is a music snob thing that always kind of annoys me... why so mad at crossover hits and the people who like them? not being a rap/r&b listener isn't a character flaw, isn't it good that people who like other kinds of music have also get exposed to r&b through songs like this?

― s1ocki, Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:27 (6 months ago) Permalink

it's a delicate balance between admitting that the strength of the crossover hit is that it just happens to be awesome & hating people who won't get down to the I Wish remix

but I didn't see a lotta ppl reppin for "You Saved Me" which was also awesome, so there are numerous circles of frontin to be unpacked

― worm? lol (J0hn D.), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:30 (6 months ago) Permalink

...

― numerous circle of frontin (The Reverend), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:32 (6 months ago) Permalink

lol forgot the "s"

― numerous circles of frontin (The Reverend), Saturday, 9 May 2009 19:33 (6 months ago) Permalink

jordan s4rgent, weren't you just a year and a half ago all like "I like r&b singles but never would think to listen albums"

― numerous circles of frontin (The Reverend), Saturday, 9 May 2009 20:18 (6 months ago) Permalink

genuine lol & genuine pride in having inspired this new screenname

― worm? lol (J0hn D.), Saturday, 9 May 2009 20:22 (6 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

360. this coming on shuffle when you haven't heard it in a year, and you're just walking to a bar on a summer evening

― caek, Thursday, 18 June 2009 05:12 (5 months ago) Permalink

― JasonD (JasonD), Monday, June 16, 2003 1:47 PM (6 years ago)

― dat nigga kelmar (k3vin k.), Thursday, 18 June 2009 05:22 (5 months ago) Permalink

this thread made me put the 4 hours of R. Kelly shit in my iTunes library on shuffle and it's really putting me in a good mood

― from 'your house' to 'your pussy.' (some dude), Thursday, 18 June 2009 05:34 (5 months ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

159.

― Dan Majerle and the Wailers (Whitey on the Moon), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:07 (4 months ago) Permalink

160. &

― trill ent. dudes get wiped down, totally (The Reverend), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:12 (4 months ago) Permalink

(I think that's worth at least two spots on this list)

― trill ent. dudes get wiped down, totally (The Reverend), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:12 (4 months ago) Permalink

I don't understand why the video of me dancing to Ignition - Remix in the backseat is not a youtube hit

― save your lover! (Z S), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:15 (4 months ago) Permalink

haha so dope

― king kongro (J0rdan S.), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:18 (4 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

161. It's an Al Green tribute without the slightest hint of reverence.

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 09:38 (2 months ago) Permalink

162. The way the original single of "Ignition" (not the remix) segued into "Now usually I don't do this, but...uh...go on head and break em off with a little previews of the remix" and played the whole first verse of the remix before fading out during the chorus.

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 09:50 (2 months ago) Permalink

like so:

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 09:52 (2 months ago) Permalink

I had never heard this song until earlier this week. It's pretty good!

― claws of jungle red (Stevie D), Friday, 28 August 2009 14:30 (2 months ago) Permalink

this is the best thread

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Friday, 28 August 2009 14:44 (2 months ago) Permalink

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, August 28, 2009 9:50 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ this is awesome!

― thomp, Friday, 28 August 2009 14:56 (2 months ago) Permalink

Yeah...IIRC the original was out for like 3 months before the remix, so it was like, you know it's coming, what does the rest of it sound like, etc.

― Mad Men on the BBS (some dude), Friday, 28 August 2009 15:07 (2 months ago) Permalink

^^^this

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 21:41 (2 months ago) Permalink

OK guys so I'm OBSESSED with this song and realized I'm completely unacquainted with the R&B canon. Where should I start if I'm really into this (major-key harmonies, soulful falsetto, etc)?

― An adult loves to win awards (Stevie D), Saturday, 29 August 2009 16:46 (2 months ago) Permalink

to be honest i have no idea how to recommend something to you, because knowledge of this song is like a venn diagram overlap of every single human i know, so its kinda hard to know what R&B you actually know.

I recommend starting with an early 'rhythm and blues' compilation from the mid-20th century

― butthurt (deej), Sunday, 30 August 2009 03:11 (2 months ago) Permalink

woah i had never heard the "original" ignition before and i love it. remix is better but like, not even by that much. besides that "wiik wok wiik wok" guitar line during the chorus and the "bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce" i wouldn't have even thought the two songs were related. would've just assumed they were commonly reoccuring r kelly motifs.

― samosa gibreel, Sunday, 30 August 2009 03:54 (2 months ago) Permalink

OMG, I listened to this a few times in the past couple days, having been inspired to by this thread & it is like SUPERGLUE ON MY BRAIN - the chorus just keeps cycling over & over and then bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce..

Damn fine song, though, and deserving of all the recent praise.

― Pullman/Paxton Revolving Bills (Pillbox), Sunday, 30 August 2009 07:08 (2 months ago) Permalink

listening to Suga Free's Doe Doe and Skunk and it feels related. (great lil' slick song) (i looked for a Suga Free thread, but don't think it exists)

― Ludo, Sunday, 30 August 2009 08:53 (2 months ago) Permalink

toot toot / beep beep = ultimate payoff

― ABSOLUTELY NO SCRUBS WHATSOEVER, Monday, 31 August 2009 00:20 (2 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

ahhhh I listened to it with headphones for the first time and at the end of every line he layers his voice and it echoes and I can't even wax eloquent about it right now because I'm busy furiously clicking the repeat button

― Andrew Kornfan, Friday, 9 October 2009 06:31 (1 month ago) Permalink

163 by the way. wowza

― Andrew Kornfan, Friday, 9 October 2009 06:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

Such a great thread.

― Bill A, Friday, 9 October 2009 08:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

Single of the decade.

― Sickamous (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 9 October 2009 08:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

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