Who will win the Palme at Cannes? [2012 edition]

Missing names: Assayas, Malick.

Deemed "cute with ridiculously good hair, but still not good enough for the main show": Xavier Dolan

i'd like it to be cronenberg but who knows how that's gonna turn out

i'd be okay with haneke if it was two hours of him slowly torturing himself with occasional fourth-wall breaks to tell us what bourgeoisie scum we are for watching him torture himself

think the new haneke is more "old age is disgusting and horrible, kill yrself now"

finally we agree!

big fest for matt mcconaughey

xpost lol

"cute with ridiculously good hair, but still not good enough for the main show": Xavier Dolan

fixed

Well, the hair is good, regardless of what he's doing with it.

I guess its goodness must be deep within the follicles cuz I just see his dopey style.

Yes, you can't see the follicles. That is the hallmark of having good hair, not being able to see the follicles.

considering the fact that Nanni Moretti is the head of the jury my guess is one of those:
"Reality," Matteo Garrone (cause its italian)
"The Angels' Share," Ken Loach
"Beyond the Hills," Cristian Mungiu
"Post tenebras lux," Carlos Reygadas
"Like Someone in Love," Abbas Kiarostami

wonder how good/bad is the On The Road adaptation.

it's by the guy who did The Motorcycle Diaries...

God, another Loach Palme would be just the worst.

yeah
Cronenberg's son also has is own film on Un Certain Regard

what DID you think of The Wind That Shakes the Barley, Eric?

That's so cute you think you can play that game too.

It's not a game when you're so transparent about it....

wow, 1990-91 was Wild at Heart & Barton Fink. What an unsurpassable double-whammy of stinkshit.

Triple whammy:

Fahrenheit 9/11
L'enfant
The Wind That Shakes the Barley

see I've seen both Wild at Heart & Barton Fink

What is the source of your irrational hatred of unseen Loach? You don't want reality, you want magic? (apparently the Dardennes wd fit there too)

magic realism

I repost the review one of my friends wrote about Barley that effectively killed all interest [sic] I would've had in seeing it.

To everyone who liked THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY:

OK so I've watched an hour of this thing now, and Jesus Christ is it one goddam monotonous scene after another. Is there any reason to watch the next hour?

Summary of the screenplay:

FADE IN

[Evil, rampaging English soldiers rush in with guns]

Soldier: You fucking Irish bastards!
Soldier: Get over here!
Soldier: Fucking Fenian fuckers!
Soldier: Irish scum!

[They hit innocent Irish lads in the face with guns, kill some]

FADE OUT

FADE IN

[Evil, rampaging English soldiers rush in with guns]

Soldier: What's your name you fucking Irish scum?!
Soldier: What's your name?
Irish lad: [sings a rousing traditional Gaelic song in defiance, gets shot]
Soldier: Fucking Irish fuckers!

FADE OUT

FADE IN

[Irish rebels fight back, silently kill some English soldiers, finish scene by singing rousing traditional Gaelic song in defiance, heads hung low]

FADE OUT

FADE IN

[English soldiers rush in with guns]

Soldier: Get the fuck down you fucking Irish fuckers!
Soldier: What's your name?!
Soldier: Fenian fucker!
Soldier: You bastards!

[Old Irish woman cries]

Soldier: Fucking move, you bitch! [Hits in face with gun]

[Irishmen are beaten up, English soldiers laugh menacingly]

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Repeat scene from RED DAWN when good guy turns traitor, has to get shot by another good guy, sadness. These are the true casualties of war, etc.

FADE OUT

ZOMG RINSE REPEAT, MORE MORE MORE OF THE SAME

Are you kidding Best Picture at Cannes? I liked it better when Charlie Sheen and Patrick Swayze were in it.

ugh

that review killed all my interest in something all right

Eric's friends?

xpost I know right?

closeminded apologists for murderous Brit imperialism?

anyway, for a filmmaker whose first Palme-winner Eric has never seen to win a second would be just the worst. Check.

closeminded apologists for murderous Brit imperialism?

Submit yr suggestions to the horror movie poll, plz.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLtOnDG8ikI&feature=player_embedded

oh no

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3tbi_EjAQk&feature=related

"A young female student named Akiko (Rin Takanashi) works as a prostitute to pay off her univeisty fees. One of her clients is an elderly academic (Tadashi Okuno) who is fond of her. Soon a relationship develops between the two."

http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/watch-stunning-first-french-language-trailer-for-jacques-audiards-rust-bone-starring-marion-cotillard-20120411#

looks like melodramatic "arty" kitsch - hope i'm wrong

a good lawyer's wife is one of the great unsung korean films, but I still think it's weird that im sang-soo has becomes a cannes favorite

I don't know much about that Reygadas film, but if it is half as good as Silent Light, then...that. I'm always hoping Leos Carax will have a resurgence one day, though

Directors Fortnight includes the final Ruiz film:

http://mubi.com/notebook/posts/cannes-2012-directors-fortnight-lineup

i'd be okay with haneke if it was two hours of him slowly torturing himself with occasional fourth-wall breaks to tell us what bourgeoisie scum we are for watching him torture himself

I hate even seeing his name mentioned anywhere because I hurt my eyes rolling them.

I've not seen any Reygadas or Carax but a Cannes-frequenting associate of mine more than loathes both of them (especially Reygadas), so I'm anticipating his reports even more than usual.

Most curious to see Cronenberg, Nichols, Kiarostami, Resnais, Audiard, Garrone, Mungiu, Hillcoat. Not so promising: Daniels and Salles. I'm pretty much completely indifferent to Haneke at this point.

didn't much care for Silent Light, either - felt a bit precious, a bit 'forced', a bit straining for effect, and i'm generally a fan of the slow cinema aesthetic.

has haneke won before? i always think of him as the guy who gets booed at cannes but that doesnt mean he cant win i guess

big fest for matt mcconaughey

― johnny crunch, Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:13 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark

c'mon man show some respect. its matthew

White Ribbon won.

everyone gets booed at cannes, especially the winners.

didn't much care for Silent Light, either - felt a bit precious, a bit 'forced', a bit straining for effect, and i'm generally a fan of the slow cinema aesthetic.

in spite of containing some stunning images i agree with this. i was ready to love it, i just didn't.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I don't know much about that Reygadas film, but if it is half as good as Silent Light, then...that. I'm always hoping Leos Carax will have a resurgence one day, though

― Memorial Highway (admrl), Thursday, 19 April 2012 18:00 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i feel like everything i've heard about the new reygadas makes it sound like what you want from him; that it's diaristic and loose and impressionistic. there was a write up in iirc cinemascope talking about a recent short he made for an anthology film, it said it was the best thing he'd done.

this line up looks great, anyway. no hou or wkw were bigger disappointments than inevitable-malick-postponement.

this thread semi-inspired me to look up previous palme winners - biggest wtf was the mission getting it in 1986

The Mission soundtrack/score is amazing. That's the only reason/justification I can think of for that.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Koehler handicaps

http://www.filmlinc.com/blog/entry/handicapping-the-palme-dor

holy motors getting raves

trailer - http://www.festival-cannes.fr/en/mediaPlayer/12214.html

press kit - http://www.festival-cannes.fr/assets/Image/Direct/045904.pdf

Not following reviews too closely this time around, but does it seem most of them are getting tepid reax?

seems that way so far

No boos as far as i've heard

ppl seem mad for Haneke, and jeez, JEFF WELLS liked the Kiarostami.

That's bad news.

Holy Motors is the only one I've read so far to get pretty much unanimous raves.

five-star review of the haneke here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/20/amour-haneke-film-review

any reviews of the carax?

this thread semi-inspired me to look up previous palme winners - biggest wtf was the mission getting it in 1986

― Ward Fowler, Wednesday, May 9, 2012 8:29 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fahrenheit 911 iirc

Both were incredibly bad choices, but at least F911 made sense in the moment.

although i really don't like michael moore's film, i remember being impressed by tarantino's explanation for why they (he was head of the jury that year) chose it.

anyway any reviews of holly motors? i hope for the best, but fear the worst.

again, here's peter bradshaw on the Carax:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/23/holy-motors-review?newsfeed=true

really psyched for it and i pretty much loved Pola X.

Haneke pic was very well received. Supposedly an uncharacteristically humane film for him. Looks like that and the Carax are front-runners at this point.

i sorta tell myself that everyone at festivals is just psyched for the masterpieces so zones out whenever something meanders or doesn't go all out. i can handle a minor kiarostami, which is what it sounds like the kiarostami was, or a weird elliptical reygadas, which is what it sounds like post tenebrax lux is.

Meanwhile the Lee Daniels sounds like a fucking hoot:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/cannes-film-festival/9287238/Cannes-2012-The-Paperboy-review.html

wow the carax sounds fucking balls to the wall nuts. not that i expected much less but...

you know there's a miniseries-length version of pola x, called pierre ou les extremites, that aired on european TV and is supposedly (per jean-michel frodon and others) really great? but i have _never_ been able to find even a shit-quality copy.

i sorta tell myself that everyone at festivals is just psyched for the masterpieces so zones out whenever something meanders or doesn't go all out. i can handle a minor kiarostami, which is what it sounds like the kiarostami was, or a weird elliptical reygadas, which is what it sounds like post tenebrax lux is.

― blossom smulch (schlump), Thursday, May 24, 2012 5:32 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think it's just in the nature of cannes festival and its role in film culture that people generally like to award big, thematically ambitious films. though frankly there are plenty of exceptions: rosetta and pulp fiction, for example.

apparently the carax features a vintage sparks deep track

http://enchantedmitten.blogspot.com/2012/05/from-cannes-interim-crix-poll-results.html

Looks like there's very little going on of interest this year. Average, zzzzzzzz.

if you bleeve CRITICS that is

I believe crix more than the selection committee.

critical unanimity is a big alarm bell for me often as not.

True, buzz around The Artist started at Cannes last year iirc.

is there anything you guys ever consider a GOOD sign

If you or Armond White hate it is usually a good start.

sheesh

that carax film will never come to theaters here. i'll probably have to see it in chicago or wait for DVD.

frankly, still waiting for "deep blue sea" to come here and i don't think it's gonna happen.

that's what happens when the "art cinema" reduces its "art" programming to a single screen.

So, Cosmopolis also gets middling marks (from those I follow anyway).

it's a book Michael Mann would have been perfect for (although it's maybe plot-wise already too close to collateral).

cosmopolis sounds like a stinker.

todd mccarthy's review: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/cosmopolis-review-robert-pattinson-cannes-329230

the loznitsa sounds good.

Really, The Paperboy is the only thing to emerge from this mess I want to see.

+ Carax

is it really any more of a mess than many other years?

I dunno. When was the last really great year at Cannes supposedly?

I also admit I find it pretty hard to get very excited about any of these movies knowing many won't even get here for another year maybe.

most won't get here, period, except maybe at our festival.

i always want to see the ones that get the most violent negative reactions

like that shakey-cam snuff film about corrupt cops (or whatever) that ebert was apoplectic about a couple years ago

unfortunately this approach has, in past years, led me to watch lats von trier and bruno dumont movies

Counterpoint on the Cronenberg:

http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/cannes-review-david-cronenbergs-cosmopolis-robert-pattinson-don-delillo-paul-giamatti-samantha-morton-juliette-binoche-20120525

'course I'm hoping extra hard that'll be good since I'm seeing it Monday morning.

http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/kanye-west-cruel-summer-cannes-2012.html

As I exited the arena to an outdoor party with Champagne and sushi that then led to an after-party in a crazy French nightclub where Cudi, Big Sean, and Pusha T performed, I unexpectedly found myself standing next to Jay-Z. What was his review? "Amazing!" Had he ever seen a movie like this before? "Have you?" he asked me back, and laughed and laughed while rubbing my back. (My review of that: amazing!) Had Kanye talked to him about this? "Yeah, about the idea, but to see it come to fruition is great, because the execution of idea is everything." So what did he think the film meant? He got deep: "It's about the things that separate us — race and class in society and things like that. But the only thing that really binds us is true love." He continued to rub my back. I got nervous. I tried to ask another question. "No, no, hold onto that," said Jay-Z. "That's what I'm going to leave you on." He laughed some more and walked away, and as he did, I think I finally got what he meant about true love.

aren't everyone in love with the new vinterberg?

Cosmopolis the book was kinda dull/inert, IIRC, so a film adaptation is already a tall order. Agreed that Cronenberg is maybe not the best dude for it.

"Cosmopolis the book was kinda dull/inert, IIRC, so a film adaptation is already a tall order"

on the contrary. a dull book usually equals great adaptation (Hitchcock for example).
while a masterpiece is usually better left out of the screen.

(Campion's Poertrait Of a Lady, for example)

re: Vinterberg - I've read some middling takes and at least one F.

did anyone but me see his last one, Submarino?

anyway, as usual - the interesting movies are on the Certain Regard.
Haneke and Co. are predictable at this point.we need fresh blood.

re: Un Certain Regard, I've seen the Dolan (it's out already in QC). Some good stuff, but an hour (!) too long.

hadnt heard a peep abt this thing or just overlooked it, robert duvall & lars ulrich in bit roles, cowritten by jerry stahl, walter murch editor, phil kaufman directs, will be on hbo 5/28

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/hemingway-gellhorn-tv-review-hbo-cannes-329332

yeah heres the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzD-of6zYs

clive owen going 'you inspire the hell outta me' and zestily biting a celery stick... i just dunno man. i hope its good

god i wish they'd stop making biopics

this is like a heroin addict politely asking middle eastern farmers to stop growing poppies tho

I generally don't read reviews til after I've seen something. I go by general reputation and the absence of Peter Travers in the ad quotes.

dam that trailer looks v suspect

seems really weird to me that this thing is also happening i guess unrelatedly

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/cannes-2012-anthony-hopkins-andy-garcia-anthony-hemingway-fuentes-324704

Andy Garcia’s passion project

biopics probably have the worst shit-to-shinola ratio of any film genre ever.

In fact, as an uninhibited teenager who takes up with Garrett Hedlund's Neal Cassady stand-in, both [Kristen Stewart] and Hedlund go nude in their very first scenes in On the Road, and Stewart later takes part in a ménage à trois, initiates road head, and jerks off both Hedlund and Sam Riley while all three are naked in a moving car. She's so horny and curious that when another couple excuses themselves to have sex, a nosy Stewart follows them into the doorway and asks, "Can I watch you guys screw?"

...

Her On the Road co-star Hedlund is a case in point: Neutered of his natural charisma in all-ages blockbusters like Tron Legacy, Hedlund finally gets to make a strong impression here, wielding that window-shaking deep voice like a sensual weapon and inviting men and women alike to ogle him and eventually join him in bed. (There is even a scene where a sweaty Hedlund athletically power-fucks Steve Buscemi, which is not something anyone expected to see today, and yet it occurred!)

http://i.imgur.com/lwr6f.gif

http://imgur.com/0HpE6.jpg

Palme d’Or:
"Amour"

Grand Prix:
"Reality"

Prix de la Mise en Scene (best director):
Carlos Reygadas, "Post Tenebras Lux"

Prix du Scenario (best screenplay):
"Beyond The Hills"

Camera d’Or (best first feature):
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Prix du Jury (jury prize):
"The Angel's Share"

Prix d’interpretation feminine (best actress):
Cosmina Stratan and Christina Flutor, "Beyond The Hills"

Prix d’interpretation masculine (best actor):
Mads Mikkelsen, "The Hunt"

called it tbqfh

stop hoggin them palmes, haneke

I generally don't read reviews til after I've seen something. I go by general reputation and the absence of Peter Travers in the ad quotes.

Your intense allergy to 'rides' handily explained in one fell swoop.

I generally don't read reviews til after I've seen something.

and with films you don't intend to see...? oh yeah, occupy film threads (TM)

carax can't catch a break poor dood

worst. cannes. ever.

I've seen two Haneke films (Caché and White Ribbon) and I didn't like either. I don't think I'll even bother with his new one.

There’s almost an “aww” factor to Georges’ attentiveness following Anne’s first stroke, which ill-prepares you for the truly grueling compendium of slow deterioration to come. By the time she’s reduced to an immobile husk capable only of slurring the word “hurts” over and over again,

yeah, i don't think so

biopics probably have the worst shit-to-shinola ratio of any film genre ever.

next to horror obv

and "rides"

ie fuck somebody or two itt

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/29/venice-film-festival-slims-down-sober

The new director of the Venice film festival has promised a "more sober, less glitzy" event for the 69th edition later this year.

Artistic director Alberto Barbera, who was appointed in December, has revealed plans to cut the number of films showing on the Lido. There will be fewer than 50 films in total at this year's festival, with only 18 showing in competition, he told Italian reporters.

The Death of Cinema pt. 94

rlly looking fwd to Reygadas after all those pans

word

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQJrVEgOPRk

Two interesting tidbits:

Carax said about the leading role which had been written specifically for Lavant: "If Denis had said no, I would have offered the part to Lon Chaney or to Chaplin. Or to Peter Lorre or Michel Simon."

The soundtrack includes Minogue performing the original song "Who Were We?" written by Carax and Neil Hannon, as well as previously existing music by Dmitri Shostakovich, Sparks, Manset, R. L. Burnside, and the track "Sinking of Bingou-Maru" from Godzilla.