Gays, its summer 2010 so... EVERYBODY TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTS

http://api.ning.com/files/Pyzn1gy9p0MtIB8E0Ip7-nisQetoBGd*4TO-poHF2aEuahVZFV26DmBjINS9t6Ig/bearweek2009_049.jpg

(l-r)?

no one we know

plax extremely disappointed you are not shirtless yet in this thread

well actually when i was changing earlier i got a bit narcissus, well i mean, it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.

hahahahahahahahaaa wellllll then no excuse for a non-you opening post image

lets not lose the run of ourselves!

I took my shirt off just special for this thread :)

smile 4 the cameras, take your shirts off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2VTSW7HrQ4

i'm sitting here in my boxers & socks

(time to leave)

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1963/107/26/2057448/n2057448_53102989_6140.jpg

miami beach?

Next time I've been to the gym three days in a row, I might consider this. Until then, ftn.

Oh, and kudos to the first one to man up to the challenge for real.

miami beach?

― لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Monday, May 31, 2010 5:06 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

si

i can't even remember when i was last on a beach. in weather that nice, anyway.

barcelona in a couple of weeks tho!

Appropriate thread! I just returned from the pool.

J0rdan, you in town yet?

sunday

as in, next

Looking forward to finally meeting, J0rdan.

I've got no pool pics, unfortunately. But here's a pic from last Friday's happy hour:

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/31522_398250064635_646994635_396459.jpg

I'd really like to see what happens when everyone on these threads effing takes off their shirts. Srsly.

― rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Monday, May 31, 2010 5:49 PM

I'd say "Miami" but I don't want to take any orders for cold pink drinks in martini glasses.

I have v few qualms abt taking off my shirt, usually, except when it's on the opening page of a thread that everyone will be reading for the next 3 months. Also I'm sort of bony and have a weird concave stomach and am just not really what you would call "pleasant to look at with his shirt off'

i'm back at work after 17 days off. hi guys.

the good news is that i'm still feeling pretty groovy from the california experience. like, all of my chronic stress just sloughed away my 2nd day of the trip and now i'm at work without the anxiety that normally occupies my cubicle hours.

we'll see how long it lasts, let's hope forever.

Long vacations rock. I'm taking one starting Friday. WHERE BE THE NEW YORK GAYS?

btw, dr3w and t3d, thank you & thank you for pointing me toward the magazine in the tenderloin -- as it happened, my hotel was only 2 blocks away. total pornucopia. i only wish i had set aside more time and more space in my luggage.

In the middle of bleaching my hair.

http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z245/tapiola/CIMG0791.jpg

<3 u

Hehehe

think i already posted myself sans shirt here before, sorry (yr not missing much, trust)

this nyc gay is down for a drink, tho i'm not sure i can do saturday (beisbol!)

My only handy shirtless pic is about 6 years old of me in b0xing gear, and nooo, yer not seeing that.

I seem to be free all weekend, Sotosyn, unless the doctor medicates me on Friday for this deep cough I've had for TWO WEEKS.

I'm there June 6-9, so if a happy hour's easier we can do that. Where do you guys usually go?

Guys I found this one picture of me that makes me sparkle:

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/9008/2397796750254007988458.gif

Alfred, we usu don't go anywhere! Me, surm, Steve & donna rouge have been in the same bar exactly once.

http://juliusbarnyc.com/index.html

as dr mentioned above, tho, there's food on Sundays here:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/metropolitan-brooklyn

hey FYI NYC gayz, i'm in yr ville from june 10-13. whirlwind times, but it would be great to maybe see some of you? i'm giving a reading in greenpoint on the 12th, i'll let yall know what's up with that...!

Can I just mention how content I am seeing that picture at the top every time I open it?

I wd love to meet up with both Soto and Tabes but I had to move back home to south jerz, making NYCing extremely difficult and costly :(

That being said, I will be in NYC the 12th!

no shirt on, new digital camera, but . . . feeling shy (and 38)

you've got to be fucking kidding.

I want a pic within 5 minutes or I'm removing all of your music from my collection.

let me wait til I digest the huge dinner of smoked meat we just had here in Montreal- I'm sure when we come home drunk from Club Taboo tomorrow night it will be a different story

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1300/4661948739_9915547c04.jpg
I'll probably regret this

dang

seen worse in zines tbh iirc

also

dang

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, June 2, 2010 1:06 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

^what she said

so come on other gaylxors, take yr shirts off already, jordan and stevie and I can't be the only camwhores on this board

oh and daruton too obv

I stipulated what would have to happen before I went through with this exhibitionism. It'll be awhile.

That said, <3's for everyone who has done so. +10 bonus points for doing it above the 50-post fold.

Oh mine is coming down soon.

(cough)

you guys

there is no way you ppl get to see my nipples without buying me drinks first

I'm sure when we come home drunk from Club Taboo tomorrow night it will be a different story

omg! I've soooo been there. One of the precious few times I actually blushed...

I want a pic within 5 minutes or I'm removing all of your music from my collection.

― j/k like Jamiroquai (Stevie D), Wednesday, June 2, 2010 4:40 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

looool

Next time I've been to the gym three days in a row

THREE days gets visible results? What is this workout?

dr3w! you guys still in montreal? i knew y'all had a show here soon - saw a poster on the metro - but i'm awful with dates and forgot to post something.

oh wait! You guys are playing tonight! Awesome. Time to totally rejigger my schedule and make sure I don't miss it.

and um...I presume/hope you were at Schwartz's and not The Main. The Main is damn good but Schwartz's is the only real place for smoked meat+mustard/pickles/Cott's Black Cherry. Mandatory MTL eats. That and bagels. Third on the list is poutine at La Banquise if you have time and/or are super drunk.

La Banquise (aka Poutine Palace) is the greatest restaurant on the planet.

i can confirm that schwartz's is amazing, as is liverpool house

I have not been to Liverpool House, as it sounds somewhat out of my price range. Maybe not? Is it insanely fancy and delicious?

But yeah. La Banquise. Totally worth the bloating, which is not something I say lightly.

it was insanely delicious - one of the waitresses knew one of our party and insisted that we sample basically everything.

i don't really know how much it cost, someone else was picking up the tab :/

i just had blueberry frozen yogurt in a cup. it was delicious.

i like licking the spoon upside down, you know you like flip it in your mouth

i just had actual blueberries! they were perfect. big n juicy.

this thread title so apt for today, the benefits of working from home in this weather...wish our garden got proper sun.

i like real blueberries a LOT. in fact they might be my favorite berry, given that blackberry jam is my favorite jam. that's a really tough call tho cuz blackberries have a way with my heart.

http://www.virginmedia.com/images/blackberries430x300.jpg

peaches. they're at the supermarket, and i got some. i love them soooo much. i almost cried in my oatmeal this morning they were so fucking good.

i'm also excited about a raspberry bush out back.

lol @ crying in ur oatmeal

i can imagine peaches having that effect on someone, they are delightful

I'm watching "Sex and the City" for the first time, gays. I'm in the middle of the first season. I'd no idea Darren Starr of "90210" fame wrote a few episodes.

omg

ur addicted, i can tell

"90210 fame"

*shakes head*

(He 'created' SATC, didn't he? after Candace Bushnell at least)

yes

ha -- not yet. The first two episodes are, naturally, awkward; but I just saw the one in which SJP has the fling with the twentysomething, and the bitchiness you know and love kicks up its spiked heel.

Some of the dialogue sounds like Maureen Dowd coulda written it.

The show is most valuable as a compendium of late nineties guys' haircuts.

he's cute tho isn't he

Much better than "Mr Big" -- yick.

http://www.carriesdiary.com/imgs/ep04_carrie_guy.jpg

this guy rite?

He looks like a fifth-rate version of the fifth-rate Richard Grieco.

xpost
Yeah, it was Schwartz's. I bought a t-shirt too, since I had one when I was a little kid. The Mutek show was fun to play, but my bf is sick as a dawg so we're grounded tonight, no Club Taboo shenanigans. That said, we were interviewed today by a supercute gay journo/college kid who used to be a Club Taboo dancer, so there has been some hotness in effect. Hoping bf gets better so we can see Nurse With Wound tomorrow.

Trynna think who this could be, and have more than one option? Heh. Reasons I love this city.

Yeah, Alex, how do you stand it here? There are so many cute people it's just wrong.

good morning

Hi hi hi

hi cutey pie how's your white hair

Still looking fairly orange, will probably be into "yellow" territory after today.

good morning

what's for breakfast?

Lobster eggs benedict with mimosas.

damn son

I am eating the date, raisins and pecans out of my date, raisin and pecan cereal.

Well, dr3w, I tend to drool a lot, and generally act thoroughly intimidated by the sheer attractiveness of this entire city. Then I don't have sex, hang out with straight people, and whine about it.

But seriously, this is a reminder that I only have three months left in this city of stunningly hot gay guys, and no longer have (m)any good reasons to not throw caution to the wind and try to sleep with all of them. I think I have a summer project.

i might go to "sugarland" tonight

i have never been there on a non-weekend night!

i was gonna ask!

wd b better if i had some e

they have karaoke on mondays tho i think?

what do they have on thursdays? sluts? prolly

those are a permanent staple of s'land iirc

and in the interests of not dominating this thread with nyc-centric chitchat i would like to continue being sold on the idea of MTL gents, ideally via photographic evidence

um. the only ones i can provide are of friends of mine! which would be awkward/weird, no?

I found this: http://boysofmontreal.tumblr.com/ but I'm not sold on it. I've been planning to pick up a new camera (old one broke) so once I have done so, I promise to creepily take pictures of hot boys all summer and post to thread.

I don't have sex, hang out with straight people, and whine about it.

I am very good at these three things.

But you know, it's hard not to hang out with straight people when you have, like, no gay friends in town. :/

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51W4ZJME3RL.jpg

Yeah, "I have no gay friends in town." is, like, sort of a thing with us, innit?

This is finally no longer true? Although my three gay friends are all people who I have hooked up/unsuccessfully gone on dates with, which may not be the wisest course of action. But it's worked out ok so far.

I don't even have any dudes I have hooked up with or unsuccessfully gone on dates with in town.

:(

If only we could have a "Help The Reverend pay 4 dates, get laid, and meet dudes...2010 rolling HELP A FELLOW ILX0R thread.."

ha

Yeah, "I have no gay friends in town." is, like, sort of a thing with us, innit?

It was the first gay thread title, iirc.

I have, like, no gay friends in town.

That was a pretty good thread. Forgot it was Chris that started the ball rolling.

what do you guys do when you have a busy weekend of work planned, and then receive 3 party invitations?

Usually I waffle on both and end up doing neither.

Hopefully I'll see a couple for drinks on Monday or Tuesday when I bite the Big Apple.

a couple of what?

I have a film screening on Tuesday eve, Monday can work for me.

So I just got hired to this RIDICULOUS new job at a local family-operated convenient store chain. My already-short haircut is too long and needs to be cut (it cannot hang over the tops of the ears or hang 2" below earlobes), I have to shave my goatee (clean-shaven or moustaches only, wtf???) and I had to get fuckin DRUG TESTED. Also it is minimum wage. But when I went to get drug tested today they had a copy of OUT at the doctor's office which I thought was fucking incredible and I genuinely appreciated. I wanted to thank them!

who the hell wears moustaches?

i always think to "wear" a bear or moustache is hilarious.

xp I know, right?? Which is going to look weirder/skeevier on a 22yo? Like, how fucking weirdly antiquated and bizarre is this way of thinking.

Also I find nothing funny about wearing bears.

Yesterday I visited my super Italian great-grandmother Nan and the first thing she said when she saw me was "Stevie, you're raisin' a beard! Ya' too young to be raisin' a beard!"

raisin' is great, "wearing" is just plain funny to me - like it's something that hooks over your ears.

i've been on a heath tip for two weeks to try and get rid of my psoriasis - no drinking, lots of fruit and veg + fish etc. and it's working a dream... but then i had one drink last night and got a massive headache which lasted 'til this morning. then had another one tonight and the same happened, which is depressing. i really don't want to be a non drinker, i love boozing, so i hope that tendency disappears.

cleanshaven is ok unless you look 15 when you are cleanshaven. it just sucks to shave all the time. I am your age pretty much and I look good cleanshaven imo

That is exactly my problem. I look pubescent when I shave. Also I hate my chin and the goatee hides it sort of. Also also I HATE having to shave all the time; I only ever trim like once a month anyway.

Just went back to cleanshaven a couple weeks ago and, not surprisingly, it looks more or less the same as not-quite-cleanshaven. I have 5 o'clock shadow at 8 a.m. regardless.

So I finally put two and two together that one of the doctors/research labs that I bring coffee to about three times a week (work at a cafe in a hospital, fyi) is a kind-of-a-big-deal expert on AIDS/HIV research and responsible for the most visible criticism of Canada's antiquated ban on blood donation by MSM.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/lift-ban-on-gay-blood-donors-researcher-says/article1580753/

Anyway, I bumped into him in the hallway this morning and randomly gave him props for being an advocate for rational science and so forth, which started off really awkward but ended up kind of cool? when he found out i was moving to toronto (ugh) for law school, he mentioned a bunch of interesting legal advocacy stuff going on there.

re: shaving - i look decent clean-shaven, good scruffy but AWFUL with 'actual' facial hair.

no one, NO ONE looks awful with "actual" facial hair.

that is not true

well, maybe my problem is i can't grow actual facial hair that is robust enough to look good, but i maintain that many facial hair-havers would look better sans.

(yrs looks positively dashing of course, steve)

Saw the doc for annual physical yesterday. Thanks, Doc, for pointing out that I was 25 lbs lighter ten years ago.

btw Alfred, great (unavailable on disc) Rossellini film at MoMA on Mon night:

http://www.moma.org/visit/calendar/film_screenings/9443

^that looks great. I really wish I didn't have plans.

Hi gays, btw. I'm a friend of Morbs's through baseball. I would introduce myself via shirtless pic, but that seems presumptuous.

hi billy!

i dont think anybody would have a problem with that btw

Oh, what the hell. Be kind, please?

http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/103/38762615.jpg

Also elmo, I got back from California too (though this was a few weeks ago). I had a similar thing happen while at Pt Dume on my birthday, this incredible feeling came over me and I thought, "What is this strange sensation?" I realized it was happiness and lack of stress and anxiety. And then of course I got back to NYC and immediately I get tension in my shoulders and neck. Hope your Cali grooviness lasts longer than mine did.

^i like this guy already

hey there bud! wanna go to the game Thursday?

GODDAMMIT. I can't :(, have dumb obligations w/ some friends.

well, somewhere soon then. Cyclones, Newark Bears...

I'd be down for Newark bears.

Billy, welcome!! I hope you like it here.

Thanks! I have actually lurked on this board for a bit (also hi j03, didn't realize you were here too)

Morbs I really do want to go to Citi at some point this summer. Preferably to see Pelf.

hey Billy! I'm at the mets v marlins game AS WE SPEAK

a typical Mets home romp

F'reals

hope everyone is having a fine Saturday evening. my team won our kickball game, just had a nice sirloin salad for dinner, and taking a few NYC friends out on the town tonight. The air is dense and swampy and I plan on drinking to capacity. summer!

also billy, i am def still feeling groovy. i've been dealing with a lot of family shit this past year and taking some time away was v helpful for me getting some perspective on and *emotional* distance from all that. feeling like a new elmo tbh.

was just driving along, stopped at traffic lights and who do i see go zooming past with a shock of white blonde hair?? our very own teddy! so when we were driving past him, i yelled out the window TEDDDDDDDDDDD and i think he had no idea who the fuck i was.

hi teddy!

only non-shirt pic of me I have:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs112.snc1/4822_219194020712_713115712_7517405_2449432_n.jpg

btw, welcome billy! such good looking

i approve of these pictures. the thread title makes me hope for new ones every time i click on it. i was going to post one last night but fell asleep and probably need to be slightly drunker than i am now to do it.

fukkit.

http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/4514/photo8nl.jpg

'm at the mets v marlins game AS WE SPEAK

I was there, too!

Lex, you always have such poise!

oh hey, that was you justin3??? i was like, that could have been anyone. i was so zonked from work, too, that i was just like "let me across san pablo so i can go to the store to buy beer to drink it in the parking lot that is the yard of my house." haha, well, let's actually hang out sometime soon? i am sitting at mama buzz as i type, btw.

okay, i'll do the shirtless thing later tonight....and woh, so i've been hanging out with this guy a lot. it's starting to get really...uh... awesome? yeah!!

that said, this band was up here from san diego, and their drummer was this boy:
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/39/l_8d2ac5fbdc09404283984759ac832004.jpg

swoon swoon swoon. he was like 21, really nice and spacy, just the sort of thing that i adore. hung out with him a bunch as he was staying at my friend's spot.

as in the one on the right...they were pretty good, too, kinda sounded like Bikini Kill.

i know i started this thread but i meant it as more a life philosophy as opposed to a photo album theme. i kinda think self-portraits should be reserved for our haircuts tbh.

drummer is A++

as in, no way am i posting topless pics itt

as if we wouldn't take the excuse, plax

i guess i'm not complaining tho!

i think photos pretty much fall under the life philosophy

^bcz I have neither

i may be totally off here but i think i may have recently seen a shirtless picture of daruton on tumblr?! please confirm / deny

attn. Eric H: http://friskyhands.com/welcome

Welcome, indeed. Right now it seems like there are two people on there, but hopefully it grows.

i may be totally off here but i think i may have recently seen a shirtless picture of daruton on tumblr?! please confirm / deny

That would be really weird. I don't THINK I have any photos of me floating out in the interwebs.

ok -- it was a picture of a dude somewhat resembling you with hair exactly like yours (same haircut and very recently bleached) and the face was hidden so I couldn't tell.

hey tabes, it's BROOKLYN PRIDE this weekend. Bring the shame! I've never heard of a Greenpoint reading before.

can i just

http://www.postersnthings.com/posters/rabbit_test.jpg

NNNNNNNG i meant this

http://hitchcockandme.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/rabbit-test1.jpg

I need to stop crushing on straight friends. I used to know better than this. Back when I knew gay people.

Ugh, that's the worst. Thankfully I've gotten over that period of my life. Maybe I'm getting older? Or I know worse straight people now.

Belated welcome to you, Billy.

My latest sad and pre-obstructed* crush objects seem to be monogamous gay couples.

(*this part being key, I think)

you would think that I'd be able to meet some gay men to crush on in the 7th-gayest city in the country but apparently not

well, being in bar packed with gay guys laughing hysterically at all those lousy SNL Betty White sketches made me hate homos all over again

You ever stopped?

for a few hours at a time now and then! what about you?

I like them when they are not catty/judgemental, or stupid. The worst is a prissy, condescending bitch that lacks any semblance of wit or intelligence (apart from than the ability to program their DVR to record Glee)

More and more, I'm finding I like them quite a bit ... as friends.

for a brief moment in time i started to get snooty or judgmental about other gays but then i just realized that makes me no better than anyone else

also there are a lot of different types of gay people out there. i can even talk to people who watch glee with a straight face now

well sure, I have a number... xxp The problems start when you get em in a group! Before you know it, you're laughing at drag queens.

billy fabs, have you been to the NEW gay sports bar in Chelsea? i thought about going tnite to see a couple innings from Strasburg's debut, but i'm not even sure they'll have it on (MLB Network).

The problems start when you get em in a group! Before you know it, you're laughing at drag queens.

Yeah. But to be fair, some of the friends I've been hanging out with more lately are less judgmental and take their drag queens seriously.

morbs i'm not sure if you mean "finding drag queens funny" or "mocking drag queens"

"finding drag queens funny." There was Divine, then Justin Bond as Kiki, and that's about it.

damn i was hoping to see ur titties

^ Miss Nan Sequitur, gentlemen

billy fabs, have you been to the NEW gay sports bar in Chelsea?

I heard there was new one but I haven't been, no. Is it worse than GYM? I wanna see Strasburg's debut too, but I also wanna see Pelf pitch, as well as the Lakers-Celts.

I watch Glee when there's nothing to do. It is so insanely horrific I swear the last time will always be the last time. I need a job, is what this boils down to.

deeply feeling that last sentence :/

i have a job but its everything else i need

u'll find it

My friends are having this elaborate prom party where it's going to be catered and fancy and etc., just for fun. And I have no one to bring. Will one of you go with me?

or you'll adjust xp

(sorry, I can't resist being the Voice of Lowered Expectations)

. I booked a flight to toronto in september, and one home from SF in December (i've talked about what this was for in the past, I didn't really think I'd ever get round to it), and I've made up my mind that after christmas I will not be staying in Ireland. I'm conscious that I turn up on this thread every now and again w/ some negative nelly gripe, but at least I'm finally being pro-active about it... right? I really don't know what I was thinking moving home in the first place. I dunno, I'm thinking of learning spanish and moving to spain, Spanish guys are cute.

why aren't u online more? i miss u :*(

heh, it feels like i spend my whole life online sometimes. theres a pile of unread books next to my bed. Miss you too though

Srsly, gay friends w/o benefits are quickly becoming one of the highlights of my social life. Until they try to set me up with their increasingly desperate friends.

i hear you. it's fun to have like " the boys " to chill with

speaking as someone who moved home after school (twice) and actually had good stuff happen (the second time), i would say that moving home after school generally blows and the quicker you can leave the better. good on you. i bet it'll totally brighten the next few months and motivate you to make the most of your time there or whatever. xxpost

i'm not graduating until december but i've moved back home for the summer -- my first extended period here since high school

yeah, i mean I wouldn't have saved up as much money as I have. It also sucks that my best friends from college have spent the last six months in central/south america and that mybest friend from school is living in Brussels now. But yeah, i've inspired this wave of everyone deciding to leave and like emigrate (the assistant manager has like 8 grand saved up and shes moving to New Zealand now -she is crazy in love w/ kiwis)

moving back home after university was just not an option to contemplate for me - would have been utterly horrific - went straight to london (without sorting a job first, which i don't recommend, but uhh it all worked out in the end). i think my parents probably live in a more rural place than most though.

um, the reason i was gone just there was bc i was giving a calf an injection so maybe not?

ok you trump me there :/

i don't live at home any more but i go to work at home. very weird. at first it was awful but now it's tolerable -- i've changed my relationship with my parents, gained some self-respect, and have a job. i still wanna live somewhere else but here's fine for now, as long as i feel like i'm evolving. x-post lol

I lived with my parents for most of while I went to school, which made getting out afterward super-necessary.

I can't remember if I talked abt this here but I just graduated on the 18th of May and had to move back home with my mom, which I SWORE to myself I would not do. It wasn't even remotely a possibility in my mind, and I had spent a year putting everything in place so that it wouldn't happen, and then all of it fell apart literally the day I graduated. It's a huge consolation knowing it wasn't my fault or a matter of me dropping the ball or not being proactive or anything, though, and I've got a much different/more positive approach now than I did two years ago when I had to move back home because I DID drop the ball big-time, and I resented having to be stuck in suburbia w/ my mother.

I've got enough graduation money saved up, though, that it won't be too long before I look for an actual career-y thing and move to Philly or Brooklyn or something. At least there's no room to grow complacent or lazy here like there was in New Brunswick (which I hadn't planned on staying in for more than a year anyway). Also, the local library has lots of good movies, and the bus takes me and my bike to Philly and back for like $11.

man, i think you've got it sorted

I'll have to do a daytrip to Philly sometime.

As for your prom, sorry, I've given up chaperoning!

(it takes a lot to get me to NJ these days)

i am waaay overdue for a philly trip. i'll likely be there in the fall at some point

Oh god. I endured a terrible, terrible drag queen at the Stonewall last night; we fled after 20 minutes of jokes that required instantrimshot.com

I'm going to see a, supposedly, very good one on friday. Taylor Mac, anyone?

. I booked a flight to toronto in september, and one home from SF in December

I will officially be in Toronto by September, so while I will know the city only marginally better than you, and have no place to live as of yet, feel free to couch surf/FAP.

also, this:

i hear you. it's fun to have like " the boys " to chill with

is so true. the new friends w/o benefits rule has proven to be a Good Thing.

OMG TI4RN4N U COME TO BAY AREA!!! that is so zang it hurts.

Drag shows are like instant "get me out of this bar sooner than now" imo.

I have never seen a drag show and have little desire to.

You guys are being a tad harsh, tho drag is admittedly, in a lot of cases, the gender version of karaoke.

That seems like a rather accurate analogy, actually.

Doing karaoke is a lot of fun, but watching karaoke is really quite boring imo.

Challenging, I know.

Karaoke's only fun when I'm doing it.

Ditto. I will only sing Al Jarreau, and will only dress in drag like Al Jarreau.

u_u

http://www.dvds2trade.co.uk/image/AlLev2004.gif

I was known as "Jarreau" for the first 15 years of my life. I stopped going by that.

Al Jarreau is a badass. I'd have been flattered.

Having a name that no one can pronounce or spell, isn't your legal first name, and when they do get it, they make a big production out of is a humongous pain in the ass, fyi.

i thought ur name was r0dney

It is. I have a first name. I also have a middle name. I used to go by my middle name. Now I go by my first name.

The name R0dney comes from my dad, and he is way more badass than Al Jarreau imo.

gonna remind u that my name is ti4rnán t0más U4itéir

^^Way cooler name than Jarreau.

1. This is like the first time an ad has actually made me want to buy the product:
http://regent.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8341ca4b653ef0133efbbc6f5970b-pi

2. Look where I'm helping out on the 19th:
NYCPride Rally featuring
Me’shell Ndegeocello, Martha Wash
NY Gay Men’s Chorus, Vickie Shaw,
Billie Myers and Bruce Vilanch

MARTHA MARTHA MARTHA!!!!!

don't fetch Vilanch's donuts

Here's me:

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80259710@N00/4688637370/"; title="Untitled by Laurent Jacquinot, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1269/4688637370_0459a4f612_b.jpg"; width="765" height="1024" alt="Untitled" /></a>

oops

word

It worked?

yea if u click on it

u look like ur from brooklyn

close -i'm in queens

where are u?

bk hi

we're neighbors! hi

Trying again:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1269/4688637370_0459a4f612_b.jpg

<3 :)

CUTE!! Hi RR, how are you?

Thanks both of you!

Hi Stevie; I'm well, and you?

I'm good. I went to this thrift store called Plato's Closet and I got two v nice shirts and I knew a few ppl who worked there, so they gave me 20% off. And now I'm sitting in my room listening to Mouse on Mars and attempting to "clean" it. I'm not doing a very good job.

Is Plato's Closet in NYC? If yes, please let me know the address, as I'd love to go there.

What do the two shirts look like?

Good luck with the room cleaning.

u and mouse on mars

love mouse on mars.

i'm "dj"-ing a fundraiser/pool party for the flag football league on saturday. my first time! i have 1 turntable, a portable cd player, a mixer, and my bookshelf system for speakers. fade out, press start, fade in, lol. i have a limited supply of records, mostly disco, a few odds and ends, and this soulbeat 8lp comp that's pretty rad. hope they like ten city!

Does the Plato's Closet in NYC have ads on alt-rock radio with Valley Girl voiceovers, like the ones in Chicago do?

They do ads on rhythmic radio with Valley Girl voiceovers in Seattle.

Plato's Closet is in Deptford, NJ. One is a fitted v. light denim button down, onto the back of which I am going to sew this patch of Bea Arthur someone in Philly silkscreened. The other one is a lovely purple and orange plaid flannel. $20.80 for them both! Yeah I can't stop w/ the Mouse on mars, it's ridic. I didn't even know Plato's Closet was a chain!

How is it that I can't even meet up with one person in a city with one of the largest gay populations in the US.

Srsly I'm fucking frustrated.

Exact same bag, bubba.

plane tickets aren't that expensive these days

:\

you will find some tail don't worry

The best thing that I ever did was just go to low-key gay pubs and just sit down and talk to people whether I liked them or not.

Oh xp these are my new shirts:

http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/1584/snapshot1n.jpg
http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/4599/snapshot2v.jpg

plane tickets aren't that expensive these days

― glowy and highlighted and blushy and bronzy (surm), Thursday, June 10, 2010 8:49 PM Suggest Ban Permalink
Bookmark

they are when you're trying to figure out how you'll afford a can of pasta sauce

Man, when my bf and I broke up I went to California and had some crazy awesome fun times with some absolute Malibu stereotype replete w/ film producer stepdad's house which had floor-to-ceiling windows looking into the Pacific, and then I get back to NYC, which is SO GAY, and I have no luck. Like I'm always on the verge only to be left with frustrating nothingness.

So I feel you, rev.

cute shirts stevo

and daruton

Hott shades Stevie

Yeah fuck it, I'm going to Boystown this weekend.

i've been going out with my straight friends

it's lol, cuz they don't know i'm gay

and i just stand around like \(o_O)/

not interested in girls sorry

do u think u'll ever tell them and if so how do u think that will affect ur relationship

i'm not sure cuz they're my high school friends and i'll prob never see most of them after this summer

otoh i'll see some of them this summer and it would be nice

altho it would be a "big deal"

i probably will tell a few of my friends who i might kit with

it wouldn't affect friendships aside from some "omg"s or w/w

btw alfred i'm in miami

btw ramzi i love you

btw me too

aw you guyz

hi donna! ps i think the time we saw you with your shirt off you were covered in face paint

...

:)

i am covertly shirtlessly linked upthread

ps a tad tipsy

"I went to California and had some crazy awesome fun times (...) and then I get back to NYC, which is SO GAY, and I have no luck."

traveling solo while single seriously ups your game iirc

it wouldn't affect friendships aside from some "omg"s or w/w

― gonjasufi smacker (J0rdan S.), Friday, June 11, 2010 7:01 AM (8 hours ago)

yeah, i know wat u mean, the only friend i ever had a hard time telling was a gay friend from 2ndary school, he had kinda made "being gay""his thing" and i felt like i was stepping on it.

One is a fitted v. light denim button down, onto the back of which I am going to sew this patch of Bea Arthur someone in Philly silkscreened. The other one is a lovely purple and orange plaid flannel.

my bf went thrift shopping the other day and brought home the EXACT SAME shirt that i was wearing the night we met -- same label, same blue/aqua/pink plaid, same size. now i have two! which is good because the original is getting a bit worn out

so if tabes doesn't surface and tell us where his reading is, I'm going to confide my Brooklyn Priding to Metr0politan on Saturday night after midnight, if anyone's in the drinking mood.

also, Lady Gaga was at the same Mets game I was yesterday. One of us flipped a double-bird at fotogs.

"After two days of hearings, by a vote of 9-6, the HHS Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability has voted against recommending lifting the FDA ban on blood donation by gay men."

WHAT THE FUCK

slkasf;pf;sllpapeo,mxvdkpwi

I mean I'll probably just lie and do it anyway, since it's not the Red Cross or whoever's collecting your blood that makes these policies.

But I just have this picture in my head of this 75 year old asshole sitting on some board silently terrified of having some faggot's blood put into his body

yeah we have the same shit here. a friend of mine was about to give me a lecture abt the impt. of donating blood when I told her and she was like "oh."

Same shit here, but hopefully not for long? Major medical orgs aka federally funded AIDS research institutes are advocating pretty hard for lifting of blood ban. Of course, I'm not familiar with the politics of it in the states - maybe the medical community there is doing the same, with little success.

Still, add another facepalm/headshake/sigh of frustration to the pile.

Made sure to donate blood before I got around to coming out/engaging in teh gay sex, because of the gigantic pile of bullshit that is homophobic bureaucracy.

Facepalm etc here too.

Unrelated news: I'll be taking part in the Brooklyn Pride march tomorrow. If any of you are going to see it, wave if you see me (or throw a peanut or something).

wait, who is RR?

going to dublin nxt week to see some agnes martin drawings and just realised that its gay pride then i guess i could go maybe

btw alfred i'm in miami

Expect a message soon. We'll hang out, even if I have to pick you up. Are you going to the Pains of Being Pure at Heart show tomorrow?

Oh, Morbs -- sorry I missed you. Another tight schedule for both of us.

xp maybe!

i would like to but i might be at a graduation party for my brother's gf

Whatevs. I'm picking your ass up sometime this week. I'll mow through palm trees and shit.

ha, okay. i have a car now tho, so no worries.

Awesome. Let's meet for drinks then -- maybe in the Sunset area?

yeah that works

Sunday all good?

sure

I'll send you a message tomorrow -- if you don't respond well to my shit about Janelle Monae, it's over.

wait, who is RR?

just checkin

hey, I went to tabes' fab reading last night but we forgot to take a shirtless pic together.

So this guy messaged me on LOLkcupid and in the course of about 48 hours we talked on the website, talked on AIM, started texting each other, and got coffee in Philly. He thinks I'm way adorable or something and wants to do a dinner date. Omg.

My problem is he's like way cute and I want to really like him but I don't think I'm immediately attracted to him? But I want to get to know him better.

Awesome! Yeah, it happens enough on the internetz to keep typing one's credit card number every month (I met two of my best boyfriends online). Good luck, Stevie.

I want to post a picture but that is v creepy

I met and spent much of the day hanging with this cute artist guy from Colorado Springs yesterday. Not really sure which side he butters his bread on, but I have my suspicions.

Bun side.

Buns side?

I never want to be in a relationship, but god help me if I spend another day utterly alone as I did on Saturday.

"I never want to be in a relationship"

why not?

Yeah, you're not allowed to be more extremist than I am.

When I say "ever," I still mean "right now."

so for at least until tomorrow...

Went to a club/bar called Danny's in Bucktown on Saturday. DJ was okay, some poor transitioning between tracks. Mixed crowd but there were definitely some gay boys there, but it seemed like they all knew each other and I would have felt weird asserting myself. Maybe next time. :)

oh this is Daruton for those who don't know

also, I just found my Hot or Not profile from 2005. Hahahaha.

man, Chicago gay bars (except Big Chicks) are the worst.

I've been to Danny's! With deej.

Great place. Not a gay bar, though.

hit fannys
chillin w/ deej at danny's

ha

My glasses have a scratch from when they fell on the dancefloor there :(

J0rdan and I hung out a few hours last night. Great guy!

k so i signed up for okcupid back when it seemed like u all were and it was fun and i filled out a profile, did a couple of those tests (but they're kinda boring) and then pretty much forgot abt it. but just there a week ago two ppl added me as "favourites" (?) (the only other person to do this was Stevie D!) In my memory though i recognised that 1 of the guys might be this customer who I kinda got a weird sexual tension vibe w/ when he used to come to the shop but hes kinda stopped. Might not even be the same guy though, and he has no info on his profile except for photo and age?

the other day okcupid sent me this email:

subject: we have data on your attractiveness

body:
We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.

"data on your attractiveness"

I can hear Prince intone this on 1999.

not looking forward to getting the attractiveness email. do you think they give you tips on improving though?

anyway just emailed some guy off it, theres like eight ppl in my area so theres a helluva lot of arse sniffing

ew that's a gross term

good for u though! go through with it!

let's start a dating site called Arse Sniffing

I am considering going to the Folsom East thing -- haven't been since they started charging $10 for it --on Sunday.

I got the attractiveness thing after posting a photo taken with a webcam. Shitty photo quality = hot, apparently.

someone on okcupid called me ugly

OH MY GOD is it this Sunday?? Fuck, I'm going to miss it for like a 4th year in a row. GUYS are you going to come visit me at NYC Pride Fest at SummerStage on saturday? Please?

Also wtf j03 are you serious??? They just said "you're ugly"?

I've essentially been called ugly/annoying as people I've messaged visit my page and never respond.

oh that happens all the time to me. But i mean don't you do it too if you're simply not interested?
rather than send a msg and say "oh hey, it's cool that you like but I just don't find you attractive!"

context: he sent me an IM, i ignored it, i checked in the next day, he had written me more msgs while i was offline that were like "wtf, even ugly guys ignore me"

ugh, that's awful. That site is the worst. Then again, they all are.

it's also the only site i've had the slightest bit of luck on (in the sense that i actually have gone on dates because of it)

donna what's yer username? I'm Darjee.

or, uh, date. singular.

corey i am xuxa_pitts, in tribute to my former DN here

oh hey, haha! I was just looking at your profile. I just redownloaded the Analogue Bubblebaths, thanks for the unintentional reminder. :D

oh, anytime! (i love when songs' titles describe themselves)

I can't believe you guys made me make a profile. :(

username?

ephenderson, but I swear I'm not going to use this thing

I've always found that the best stuff happens when you rarely do.

I love that answering a dozen questions lets me see who is 90% my enemy.

Eric I've added you even if you aren't going to use this *coughyeahrightcough*.

Just added you, Steve and xuxa to my faves as well. I'm still old-fashioned or inexperienced enough to think any real prospects will be from people I just happen to meet IRL.

That's pretty much what I've tried to accomplish while on there but it seems all people want to do is chat endlessly online and never follow up.

Turned chat off first thing. I hated that feature in FB and I don't need it on a site for ass.

I hate fb chat but leave it on for some reason. Usually it's like, if I wanted to chat, I'd be signed onto IM.

I like it as it saves me from using three different programs to chat with people.

Last night on that site I chatted w/ someone I went out with last year; he had seen my profile and then off we went. It was so easy and fun and he is adorable that I wished it would've worked out. Kinda bittersweet end to the night.

I only have opportunity to chat w/ Eric when he visits NY (not often enough). Can I entice you w/ the Brooklyn Xanadude party?

Kinda feel like playing compare and contrast with my gay review on Slant and yours.

what grumpy gays we are, eh? (actually I haven't had time to fully read yrs yet)

No snark intended, just thought it would be interesting to compare who we're laying blame on.

We could let Tape Store do it!

I actually went easier on the gay political class than I intended to. I'm quite sick of them and their lockstep domesticity.

If I see Showgirls this weekend, then I can read yr really gay review:

http://www.clearviewcinemas.com/classics/classics-chelsea.shtml

woah! my tumblr was mentioned in an interview with christopher schulz (of PINUPS). pretty neat to be noticed for something i do in my idle time tbh.

I mentioned your tumblr in my review of Jose Muñoz's new book "Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity" for Criticism magazine, elmo. It doesn't come out for a few more months tho.

!!

that's pretty awesome, dr3w, thank you! i'd love to read your review once it's published, but until then, is the book worth the read? looks interesting

my broker told me to sell queer futurities.

*rimshot*

futilities more like

HI GAYZ

nice to see morbz last saturday. i've been really busy with work and hanging out and sleeping with m4tt.... um, you are all awesome?

hi!

the fuck, i can't figure out how to IM on OKCUPID can somebody tell me please

:/

I got messaged on OKC by a guy with a goatee. Not interested.

That's a firm rule? You react like it's a guy w/ a goat.

i am all awesome! went to look for an apartment in toronto and found a few possibilities (nothing certain) but most of them are in/close to the sort of artsy sort of queer district around ossington/landsdowne and Queen West. found a queer-ish dive bar with a cute-ish bartender and not one but TWO cafes that make decent coffee.

Still don't have an OKC account (or Manhunt. or DList which is big [among people I know/sleep with these days], apparently.). Should overcome my skeeved-out-ness one of these days.

Morbs, I just find them tremendously unattractive 95% of the time. (I wear one myself sometimes, but I don't assume everyone has the same quarks of taste as me.)

I haven't actually managed to fill out a profile, mostly cause I hate writing about myself.

I'd might be kinda intrigued by a guy with a goat tbh.

goats > goatees imo

goatees are almost as bad as cargo shorts imo

oouf everyone, I think they are kinda hot imo. Also Fantastic Man just did a bit on cargo shorts, so I guess they are not unfashionable anymore.

I have no shorts I'd be willing to wear outside of the house.

god i love shorts

all my shorts used to be jeans

i just found out recently that the denim cutoff is like a gay staple who knew

i made a great pair of shorts out of navy pants

xp is it?? I've never seen any other gays with them. Except hipstery ones.

I have a pair of pink & orange checked golf shorts that I love. I like to wear them with a clashing top. Also a pair of plain white dickey shorts that I like to wear with all white.

happy Friday, gays!

I figure denim cutoffs will work at Folsom East.

Happy Friday to you, Alfred!

someone was saying they got an email like this before?

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.
. . .

Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:
You will now see more attractive people in your match results.

This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

I still can't get around to the idea of filling out a profile. I have no idea what I'd say.

well im in the bottom 50% then

bad choice of words maybe

scopin out allayur profiles btw

I feel like I'm filling out the world's most bizarre job application. u_u

a BLOW JOB APPLICATION AMIRITE!?

stop

i already did!

Steve, there's a summer Furball next Friday (?) if that will compensate.

But if you or anyone else wants to go to the Pinups mag party in Greenpoint tomw night, it's 2-for-1 drinks from 10-11, and Eugene is a good DJ.

http://pinupsmag.com/issue12launch.htm

I just made some cut-offs this afternoon because I was tired of the HUGE hole in the knee of my jeans, but they are uneven. Gotta fix them.

pictures, plz

No camera. I'll get rrrobyn to take some tomorrow at fringefest. Actually, I will borrow her camera to surreptitiously take pictures of the cuet summer boys of montreal at fringefest.

Wow, I'm in nyc tomorrow and have always wanted to go to a pinups party....!!!

Wait OMG it's at Blackout?? That's where Elmo and I began our night of debauchery post-Metrop when we all met up that one time.

ah I've never been there

i was at blackout tonight at a queer librarian party

I saw that! They're having quite a weekend over there.

it was mostly fun, except i've come home minus my bag >:(

I actually went out to a gay night tonight. It was mostly full of dykes and bears, tho. Ugh. I have a bandana silk-screened with an image of Grace Jones and the words "MENZ ROOM" to show for it, so not a total loss. I was disappointed to see that it was red after I left and not orange as it looked in the club. Makes it a bit more complex for me to wear.

And just simply not the color I wanted. It's still awesome tho. I'll post a pic when I can.

Let's just appreciate the strangeness of this, shall we? It's a message/ad/who knows what from the LCBO which is the gov't-run chain of Liquor stores in Ontario (you can't sell hard liquor in normal stores in Ontario) that recently started making the rounds (in I presume print ads or something?).

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__XCWUd8FFjQ/TBjnd9KNQEI/AAAAAAAAKTM/j6ky1Veeb8k/s1600/LCBO-GayPride.jpg

The colors remind me of a Christian pamphlet.

ah, marketed queerness

Hey donna I was gonna go to that thing, how was it?

And yeah, is Blackout the new thing, gay and straight alike? I feel like I've been invited to six different events there in the past few weeks.

i enjoyed it, nice mixture of gays and lesbians which i feel like i never see here (scales tipped increasingly toward the latter as the night went on). i'll be stopping by again today to see if anyone found my lol tote bag, not sure i'll stay for the pinups thing tho

I either go bagless or hold onto mine like a boytoy.

I remove anything valuable or important from my bag before I go out and then don't worry much about it.

i refuse to believe that someone took it, seeing as these are gay librarians and there was a library book in my bag and we all of us know that incurring fines on lost books is way NAGL, but this also wouldn't be the first time this happened to me :(

These things look like such a blast when you look at photos and then when you get there you realize everyone is already talking to somebody else. How do I shot gay bar?

h8 it when people steal your bag. it's happened to me a couple of times in pubs when i tipsily chuck it over with a pile of coats and bags, get drunk and mingle and move around and then suddenly realise it's not there. never anything properly valuable in it except fucking GLASSES, which are so damn expensive to replace, so the thieves wouldn't even benefit.

it's much worse for girls who all keep shit like purses, cash, keys, ipods in their bags by default tho.

well dr got his bag back. I am trying to figure out where to put my stuff if I go to Folsom St East, uh, stripped down.

Curses, summer wardrobe! You don't have enough pockets!

or perhaps, any.

"summer wardrobe" "pockets" - must be euphemisms for something....

Took some friends to Ikea yesterday and it took us about an hour just to get out of Chicago with all the Puerto Rico Day madness. Also, I got sick of not having shorts and made some cutoffs!

http://s188.photobucket.com/albums/z245/tapiola/?action=view¤t=Photo7-1.jpg

Oops, my old name was still logged in on this computer.

photo evidence of said cutoffs:

http://s188.photobucket.com/albums/z245/tapiola/?action=view¤t=Photo7-1.jpg

FFfff, once more: http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z245/tapiola/Photo7-1.jpg

ahem me and my living room:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs104.snc4/35539_544677824154_4302681_31902495_1172251_n.jpg

Hehehe

u guys are funny and both look adorable and i want to take u home to smoke a join and drink a corona with :P

*joint

PS corey that outfit is smokin yo

Well, I spent 2 hrs at Folsom East. I had no idea the subs-on-a-leash had such sophisticated doggie masks now.

Wish I could've gone! Guys I'm getting more and more frustrated with "gay pride"/whatever the fuck gay is supposed to mean to heteros/etc. I think I'm going to join the Gay Shame movement.

i need to figure out where in my apt to put up that lifesize portrait of guillermo diaz before my (straight) roommates get home...

I just want to read mid-century German authors and listen to music by dead Europeans. Where's my movement?

Oh wait that last question could be interpreted wrongly.

is someone stopping you?

Myself, maybe.

tabes, i wish i had chest hair like that. sometimes. i have just like 3 long, scraggly hairs around each nipple, and like 3 right in the center.

having no gay friends here to go to pride with was major bummerz btw :(

having no gay friends here to go to pride with was major bummerz btw :(

― The Reverend, Monday, June 21, 2010 1:53 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

fixed

I had tons of fun last year.

And I never get to do anything gay anymore, cause no gay friends, etc. Friday, I went to a gay club for the second time in the almost a year I've been here.

have i posted this before? can i just...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/89293335_746ec3f97c_o.jpg

Pretty much the only "anything gay" worth doing is sex.

I haven't done "gay" "sex" in over a year.

Goddamn, it's been since September that I got laid at all.

Pretty much the only "anything gay" worth doing is sex.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, June 22, 2010 2:13 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark

lol

i've never been to any pride. the london one clashes with the wimbledon women's final every year. i mean, getting excited about women's tennis is pretty gay already, so i like to think i'm still doing my bit.

Ha.

Having gay friends has been, in my experience, about a thousand times more rewarding in the long term than having gay sex.

I'm inclined to agree. Except, as of now, I have neither. I do generally value friends more than sex anyway.

:(

Are you going to bars looking for friends? Cause that might not work out quite so well.

I did mention, I think, that I've only been to gay bars twice since I've been in Portland, so that's a firm no. I'm just really not meeting any gay dudes over the course of my normal life. Every time I meet someone interesting who I think might be gay, we start hanging out and soon enough he mentions his girlfriend.

Anyway, for all my grousing, I have a date of sorts today with a guy from OKC. I'm not really sure how attracted to him I am, but as far as personality and interests, we are like sides of a coin, so I'm excited about this.

I actually have at least 2 good friends I met in bars (and I didn't sleep w/ either of them).

Here's something I don't understand: Rob Lowe.

I've spent probably 5-6 hours over the past two days chatting with this guy.

I met my three best gay friends at work, online (he was my last boyfriend and we still occasionally finagle), and as rock critics, respectively. It's not easy, though. Crude remarks about Jake or the prep standing at the bar are tolerated but not reciprocated by my straight crew.

I'm really not one to make crude remarks, at least not to people who aren't close friends. I'm generally pretty mild-mannered irl.

other gay men dont really like me that much?

:( plax

My two close gay friends I had back home, I both met through school. One has since moved to New York.

ditto I think xp to plax

as i've said before, i have found myself guilty of putting "other gay man" in this category by themselves, so that in my mind, they don't like me or i don't like them or something. but i think it's like a girl and other girls thing. at least for me, it doesn't always have to be as comparative or black and white as it is in my head.

i just seem to elicit this weird suspicious attitude from other gays idk

they are suspicious because YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

well, are you suspicious of them?

J0rdan and I had a similar chat last week. Basically if you were born after 1985 or came out during that period you're more comfortable with straights than with gays, which leads to the expected complications when you're discovering your sexuality.

maybe i dont realise i am suspicious, but i always get called out for weird shit like not really being gay (i dont know how to respond to this btw, i re-heally dont think i code as super-straight by any means, and if its not that I have no idea)

i always get called out for weird shit like not really being gay

I hear that line at least once a week -- maybe these people are right!

srsly tho what is the correct answer to that?

maybe they don't like you because they think you think they don't like you or maybe yr just projecting. possibly there's something slightly narcissistic about thinking that all other gay men don't like you - all the ones here like you so why would irl be the opposite?

well, there's one sure way to show 'em

Being "gay" means "I'm attracted to men." Anything else is ancillary.

what i mean is that maybe you give out a "gay guys don't like me" vibe.

That's even worse for me, because I don't identify as gay-qua-gay. But fuck the whole idea of there being one right way to be gay anyway.

xp im not saying thats an unfair assumption, its just one i dont really know how to get around i guess

To be totally honest, I think I have thes suspicion-of-gays thing going on. I guess I feel like I have so little in common with most of the gay men I meet, it's like why bother.

Perhaps you have so little in common w/ most people! Fishing for quality means harder work, alas.

i don't know, alfred, i know a lot of gay guys born after 1985 that get a long with a lot of gay people. you and jordan are particularly close with a lot of straight people.

also, i think i was trying to get at what jed is saying -- there seems to be a lot of competition between gay people. the whole "i'm not THAT gay" thing which we've talked about before in light of madonna fandom and the like plays some part in this conversation, i think.

not that i'm trying to take anything away from rev and plax's experiences, at all - i'm just relating my own experiences to this conversation. i still have a kneejerk reaction around gay pride time of year, or around a lot of gaga fans or whatever, but now it's a more nuanced reaction because i have befriended more gay people over the years and i'm finding i have a great time with them.

xxp I've never had any problem meeting straight guys I have things in common with though.

Yep.

i think maybe its partly due to never having had any gay friends really that i kindof have a pedestal thing going on too though.

yeah, i mean the "i'm not that gay" thing really bothers me and i'd hate to think i was playing into that narrative in some way. I think maybe that growing up where i have I didn't come into contact with any gays at all and i kindof built my own idea of what it meant.

yeah, i think SO much depends on location, tbh.

i mean, to speak in simplistic terms, there might be a lot of ilx-type gay guys out there that we are hesitant to meet bc of outer appearances, or bc of the groups they hang with, or something. looks can be very deceiving.

i dont really tend to meet a lot of people in gen at all that i have "anything in common with" but i still have friends so i don't think thats the criteria for my case anyway

rev otm

plaxico, you don't have any reason to automatically assume that gays don't like you, you are well liked here as i'm sure you are irl but other people can be very sensitive to assumptions you make about them even when you don't vocalise them, obv.

i used to start with an "other people don't like me" assumption (i had low self esteem mixed with highly strung!) which i kind of managed to turn around but then i split up with my man last month and he kind of character assassinated me during the break up and told me i was too open and friendly with people and that he found it embarrassing. for a shy person whose way of coping with it is to (unconsciously) overcompensate for his shyness by being sometimes a little too gregarious was kind of a low-blow.

sorry that's really garbled, anyway he acted like a cunt about it.

jed, fwiw, i definitely felt like when i was fixated on the "i don't get along with other gay guys" mentality, people noticed it. it was definitely not overt -- i'm way too self-aware for that, but however subtle, i do believe that kind of vibe comes across just a bit.

(not that i think he's a cunt he just upset me) xpost

and jed, that is a really low blow. i do the same kind of thing bc of an inherent shyness, and i'm really sorry to hear you went thru so much trouble with him :(

that does sound pretty horrible alright. but yeah i mean i tend to have the opposite problem. a lot of my friends have this weird thing about talking about how I am a difficult person to become friends with (this is apparently a really great way of affirming our friendship because it overcomes the barrier of me being uh, a standoffish dick). and that obviously does play a major thing, but I do frequently get accused of very strange ulterior motives by other gays and it is something that has never happened to me with straight people (except for one girl who told me quite a lot, usually in conversation with my boyfriend at the time, that i was just faking it)

thanks! he was probably correct, essentially, but it's hard to find a middle ground when yr natural tendency is to back off from people because they may not like you.

but anyway, sorry, enough about me.

My own "gays don't like me" thing is more just general insecurity. coupled with that post-85 syndrome Alfred talks about.

And fwiw jed I did not think you were overbearing at all when I met you! (nor the opposite, either)

thanks joe!

plaxico i get the same thing (ulterior motives attributed to me) to the point where i doubted every thing i said / did / thought for a while. but then i have my own insecurities i project onto other gays so what jed and surm are saying ring pretty true for me. it's hard though! socializing, in a healthy way, especially when you're used to it being part of a negative feedback loop.

hi gays

what happened in 1985? i was 4, and sorta out of it, culturally

"Oh Sheila" hit #1.

best year ever?????????????????

that song rules

how many ppl actually lurk this thread?

table is the table's current male friend is a really awesome guy and they are super cute together.

^fact

yay!