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vote for the worst Oscar-winning Best Pictures of all time!!

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I think we all know the sentimental favorite; it's atop Matt Zoller Seitz's ballot:

http://mattzollerseitz.blogspot.com/2006/03/last-call-for-worst-lists_29.html


Assembling mine; I've never seen ten of the winners (including 4 of the last 12).

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:22 (twenty years ago)

I can't take another fucking ILE film thread.

-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...), March 29th, 2006 4:53 PM. (Dr Morbius) (later)

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:25 (twenty years ago)

pwn

― Jimmy Mod: GRILL ENSPEKTOR (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:26 (twenty years ago)

The list lengthens as it approaches the present day:

Cimarron
Calvacade
The Greatest Show on Earth
The Sting
Gandhi
Rain Man
Braveheart
Gladiator
A Beautiful Mind
Crash

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:28 (twenty years ago)

xpost
I'm giving, not taking.

That's chronological, Alfred -- are you sweating the ranking?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:31 (twenty years ago)

yes!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:31 (twenty years ago)

rain man is pretty funny & the sting is great!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:32 (twenty years ago)

worst: braveheart
best:godfather pt.2, casablanca.

― conconcon, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:33 (twenty years ago)

i haven't seen many of the last 10-12 winners, so it skews older, but

1. Cimmaron
2. Broadway Melody
3. American Beauty
4. Chariots Of Fire
5. Out Of Africa
6. Going My Way
7. Around The World In 80 Days
8. Greatest Show On Earth
9. Tom Jones
10. Cavalcade

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:34 (twenty years ago)

You Can't Take It with You is way worse than The Sting or Tom Jones.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:35 (twenty years ago)

Maybe there's a qualitative difference between worst Oscar-winning picture and worst movie ever to win Best Picture? See, Gandhi's mediocrity is exposed by the win, while Cimarron, The Greatest Show on Earth and Crash are just nightmares that ALSO won Best Picture.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:38 (twenty years ago)

You Can't Take It With You
Mrs. Miniver
Gentleman's Agreemant
The Greatest Show on Earth
Around the World in 80 Days
Ben-Hur
Kramer vs. Kramer
Dances With Wolves
The English Patient
American Beauty

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:38 (twenty years ago)

God, I forgot about Mrs. Miniver.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:39 (twenty years ago)

10 fave:
Rebecca
How Green Was My Valley
Casablanca
An American in Paris
On the Waterfront
The Apartment
Lawrence of Arabia
Midnight Cowboy
Patton
Unforgiven

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:44 (twenty years ago)

blount is just killing himself that Pakula never won Best Pic.

It's been so long since I watched Around the World or Oliver! (which at least has a couple nice tunes and the G-rated murder of a whore) that I can't judge them.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:45 (twenty years ago)

my list = blounts tho id swap in deer hunter & annie hall out for... i dunno!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:46 (twenty years ago)

i worry that secretly my favorite is some middlebrow crap like silence of the lambs

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:47 (twenty years ago)

or deer hunter/annie hall!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:47 (twenty years ago)

casablanca is kinda boring

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:47 (twenty years ago)

Anonymous Plus Coward, eat it.

God, I forgot about Mrs. Miniver.

I ENVY YOU

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:48 (twenty years ago)

so many of these movies are so unbelievably horrible. Just goes to show the Academy has never been particularly prescient or posessed of good taste.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Maybe there's a qualitative difference between worst Oscar-winning picture and worst movie ever to win Best Picture?

This is a quandry I have making a list like this. Because when you get down to it there is a lot of stuff that is okay enough, pretty mediocre to even decent, but when suddenly saddled with the BEST PICTURE OF TEH YEAR label it seems to make the film 8x worse than it actually is. Gandhi is a pretty great example of this, and to be totally honest I'd say quite a significant portion of the last decade or two's winners fall into this category (of the ones I've seen, maybe Million Dollar Baby is just awesome and great jawdropping masterpiece filmmaking but I really, really doubt it).

But...I'm reticient to put them on a WORST list just because they really aren't terrible films, and yeah there are a lot of "OK WTF this film is truly c-level bad" choices to pick from.

True or false: the films that fall into the first category, the "actually not really totally BAD but not good either" films, are a lot more memorable and a lot easier to immediately remember as "Worst Oscar winner ever" than the truly laughably terrible ones. (Obv this only applies to OSCAR WINNING PICTURES TM).

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:48 (twenty years ago)

is your real name dr morbius?

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:49 (twenty years ago)

xpost

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

casablanca is SO NOT BORING! it's like the most entertaining movie ever

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

Geez, anything from '94-'99.Um....The English Patient wins.

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

and call me a middlebrow ho but silence of the lambs is pretty awesome too compared to most of these

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

worst is clearly gump

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

gump is hilarious!! its easily one of the funniest oscar winners ever

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:51 (twenty years ago)

also classic manipulative melodrama stuff

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:52 (twenty years ago)

i think watching gentleman's agreement in synagogue in boot camp was when i realized that gregory peck sucked


haha how is trife anonymous???

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:52 (twenty years ago)

plus makes up for zemeckis getting snubbed for back to the future 2

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:52 (twenty years ago)

hmm I actually kinda agree with Ally about the award skewing a picture's actual quality... however yes Forrest Gump is godawful and everyone involved should have been shot.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:52 (twenty years ago)

"top" 10 faves (after 5-6 i'm really not that interested):

1. It Happened One Night
2. The Apartment
3. All About Eve
4. On The Waterfront
5. Rebecca
6. Casablanca
7. Godfather II
8. Annie Hall
9. Midnight Cowboy
10. Lost Weekend

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:53 (twenty years ago)

watching gentleman's agreement in synagogue in boot camp

this is my favourite phrase of the day

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:53 (twenty years ago)

big xpost, Silence of the Lambs is to me an example of the middlebrow film OSCAR WINNER made well as opposed to the stuff like American Beauty which is made pretty poorly and therefore somehow more infuriating than some of the truly bad stuff.

another xpost The English Patient and Out of Africa hold special places in my heart representing hours I wished I could gouge my own eyes out. Forrest Gump is pretty hilarious but--while I don't normally care about or really make this distinction in terms of enjoyment--ts intentional v unintentional funny.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:53 (twenty years ago)

what was the last comedy to win an oscar? annie hall?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:54 (twenty years ago)

gump is hilarious!! its easily one of the funniest oscar winners ever

-- +++ (...) (webmail), March 30th, 2006 12:51 PM. (later) (link)

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:55 (twenty years ago)

let's stop using the word middlebrow on this thread, every movie on this list is 'middlebrow'

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

TT worst worst list yet! are you Rex Reed?

xpost
I don't know who trife is; EVERYONE expects me and the Spanish Inquisition.

blount had a point after all.

Also, for the record, I would really appreciate it if the three of you on this thread would just stop replying to Morbius.
-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 30th, 2006.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

Er, Forrest Gump, anyone? I mean, there are a lot of perfectly mediocre winners (Gladiator, American Beauty), but that piece of conservative propaganda was downright scary, especially because it was so well made.

(xxxx-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

crash was the last comedy to win trayce

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

comedies generally don't allow the Academy to pat themselves on the back for how "progressive", enlightened, culturally sensitive, etc. they are. Ergo, they do not win.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

Lyndon B. Johnson: America owes you a debt of gratitude, son. Now I understand you were wounded. Where were you hit?
Forrest Gump: In the buttocks.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Oh that must be a site. I'd like to see that.
[Forrest shows him]
Lyndon B. Johnson: God damn, son.

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:57 (twenty years ago)

every movie on this list is 'middlebrow' except this year's gutterbrow winner.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:57 (twenty years ago)

yeah, gump's not a comedy, though. annie hall is, even if it's just barely one - maybe last comedy QUA comedy to win was the apartment?

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:59 (twenty years ago)

let's stop using the word middlebrow on this thread, every movie on this list is 'middlebrow'

I don't like that word either but I don't have another word to distinguish between first category "films that aren't really terrible but seem 10x worse because they won best picture and don't meet that expectation in any way" and second category "truly, this is crap" :(

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 16:59 (twenty years ago)

morbs - i put down my bottom 10 (hates) first - and the second list is my top 10 (faves, but lukewarm faves)
i mean, hate my list(s) if you want, but just wanted to check if there was some confusion..... (also if i had seen all of the winners from the last decade or so, i'm sure my list would be very different)

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:02 (twenty years ago)

yeah silence of the lambs would be the best thing ever if you only ever just saw it on cinemax at 3am but when you got the ACADEMY telling you its BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR im like hold up 1991 had boyz n da hood AND bill & ted's bogus journey

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Upon reviewing my selections, here it is again, in descending order:

Forrest Gump
Crash
Cimarron
Mrs. Miniver
The Greatest Show On Earth
American Beauty
You Can't Take It With You
Calvacade
A Beautiful Mind
American Beauty

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:09 (twenty years ago)

haha

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:09 (twenty years ago)

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey kind of falls apart at the end, to be fair. I mean, their band sucked, how did they win Battle of the Bands? The middle sequences with Death are great though.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:10 (twenty years ago)

i always thought bogus journey was a little too la-di-da

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:11 (twenty years ago)

Excellent Adventure is totally superior to Bogus Journey.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

Well it definitely doesn't hold a candle to Excellent Adventure. xpost

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

every movie on this list is 'middlebrow' except this year's gutterbrow winner.

dude crash is so QUINTESSENTIALLY middlebrow i got NO IDEA what you're talking about

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

Crash
American Beauty
Cimarron
American Beauty
The Greatest Show On Earth
American Beauty
American Beauty
Calvacade
A Beautiful Mind
American Beauty
The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Doctor Horatio Q. Morbius

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

...except for the Death rap!

(xx-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

If y'all need a reminder, here's Jimmy Stewart in The Greatest Show On Earth:

http://wheelerclown.tripod.com/Clownpage/Jimmy2.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:13 (twenty years ago)

Not enough Titanic hating on this thread for my liking.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:16 (twenty years ago)

ok what's everybody's problem with cavalcade?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:17 (twenty years ago)

That movie slightly redeems itself by:

1) drowning Leonardo DiCaprio
2) apparently telling Billy Zane that they were going for "Snidely Whiplash" for his character inspiration

Otherwise, yeah.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:17 (twenty years ago)

winslet's juicy as fuck in it too

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:19 (twenty years ago)

I never saw Titanic, so I dunno if its hateworthy or not.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:21 (twenty years ago)

^^ cosign

xpost

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

She's not really my type but we can add that as #3.

Seriously that movie would be 10x less enjoyable if Zane wasn't in it. He was like ten steps away from yelling shit like, "Awww! Coppahs! You'll never catch me! Awww!" all bad '30s gangster impression style. I was pretty annoyed he didn't get more of the film, it needed more of that to take it out of "mediocre crap" category into "so bad it's good" category.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

yeah i finally saw it on tv for the first time last year & its not really unwatchable or anything - i liked it!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:23 (twenty years ago)

I would have enjoyed it more if Leo had been impaled by a huge spikey chunk of boat rather than just drowning in a rather boring way.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:25 (twenty years ago)

Leonard DiCaprio's head makes him look like a giant inflatable baby.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:25 (twenty years ago)

It's ok. Kind of boring and the whole "rich people = stodgy and evil, poor people = fun-loving winsome naifs" class-slumming storyline kind of pissed me off, but Zane + boat sinking is pretty ok. It has the double whammy of expectations-make-film-crap, being as it made more money than the GNP of the United States and then ALSO won Best Picture.

xpost OK both of those posts are OTM.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:26 (twenty years ago)

i like titanic!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:27 (twenty years ago)

It occupies in my mind the same space as Lord of the Rings, "OK nice fx OK acting isn't noteably terrible OK GOD GET TO THE POINT ALREADY SERIOUSLY 8 TRILLION PEOPLE SAT THRU THIS? DID MOST OF THEM DIE OF STARVATION AND DEHYDRATION BEFORE THE MOVIE ENDED COS SERIOUSLY THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 28 HOURS NOW." But then once it finally ends it's like, eh, that was alright, I guess.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:28 (twenty years ago)

your heart goes on!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

I liked Lord of the Rings despite hating the Tolkien books.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

the one thing i really miss about titanic is the special dialog-added edit of 'my heart will go on' radio used to play.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

honestly I made it thru the boring parts of Titanic because we went to see it midday and were the only people in the theatre so we just like yelled at the screen and threw shit and sang that Celine song whenever it was another boring kissy face smoochy smoochy oooh Leo you are so poor and therefore noble scene.

xpost oh christ the dialog-added edit.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:30 (twenty years ago)

the one with the rapping skeleton?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:30 (twenty years ago)

i will always stick up for Titanic.

i really like Dances With Wolves too!

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:32 (twenty years ago)

I will stick up for Bogus Journey. Jim Martin in the FUTURE! Station!

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:34 (twenty years ago)

the song is classic for inspiring will ferrell's 'my heart will go on...a PLATTER!' from goth talk

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:34 (twenty years ago)

All the running jumping falling sinking stuff in Titanic is pretty entertaining, it's just that the central love story is so totally irksome.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:35 (twenty years ago)

I enjoyed "Titanic" just fine while I was watching it, especially the second half. Within a half hour of leaving the movie theater I was mad as hell that I paid $8 to see that stupid fucking movie. I still haven't identified what it was about the movie that infuriated me so much upon reflection; it was very similar to the reaction I had to "Forrest Gump" only I actually had to watch that movie again before I started hating it.

I'd rather watch "Titanic" 500 times over than watch "Shakespeare In Gwyneth Paltrow's Bony Ass" again.

― Dan (Fuck A Stupid Romantic Comedy) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:35 (twenty years ago)

Station in Love would've been so much better than Shakespeare in Love. I kind of forgot that movie existed.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:38 (twenty years ago)

station!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:38 (twenty years ago)

http://www.cottagegardenstudio.com/Images/Notecards/beagle.jpg
Gwyneth Paltrow, yesterday

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:39 (twenty years ago)

Plz to not insult beagles.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:39 (twenty years ago)

she'll never join OUR club.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Seeing Titanic was one of those classic dragged-to-by-girlfriend deals. ugh ugh ugh

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:41 (twenty years ago)

ugh I went on a "date" with my then-fiancee to see "Shakespeare in Love" (on the recommendation of friends) and even she hated its cloying, stupid date movie-isms. made me want to punch people.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:42 (twenty years ago)

there's titties in that movie too

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:42 (twenty years ago)

barely

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:43 (twenty years ago)

what best picture winners have titties? midnight cowboy, right

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:44 (twenty years ago)

silence of the lambs, ew

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Well there are titties in porn too but they didn't win best picture. xpost

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Crash had boobs for about 3 seconds

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:45 (twenty years ago)

american beauty!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:45 (twenty years ago)

droopy english titties

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:45 (twenty years ago)

cavalcade

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:45 (twenty years ago)

the nc-17 cut of the apartment has shirley mcclaine performing unsimulated fellatio on billy wilder to get back at harmony korine

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Didn't Dangerous Liaisons win - cuz that has Umaliciousness titttays

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:46 (twenty years ago)

didn't Braveheart have tits? Or did I just imagine that?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:47 (twenty years ago)

pretty sure candice bergen teabagged gandhi

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:47 (twenty years ago)

It had arse.

xpost

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:48 (twenty years ago)

braveheart was gay

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:48 (twenty years ago)

Yeah but there was like a two second sex scene right before they behead his wife, I think maybe I just imagined that because it would have improved the movie a bit.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:48 (twenty years ago)

Oscar winning breast displays:

1969 - Midnight Cowboy
1975 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
1977 - Annie Hall
1987 - The Last Emperor
1992 - Unforgiven
1995 - Braveheart (honorary buttocks display)
1998 - Shakespeare in Love
1999 - American Beauty

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:49 (twenty years ago)

yeah isn't braveheart getting blown when he yells "FREEDOM!" at the end there? they don't show it

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:49 (twenty years ago)

ha shakey forgot at least one

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:50 (twenty years ago)

oh shit yeah annie hall!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:50 (twenty years ago)

You're thinking of Gladiator.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:50 (twenty years ago)

who gets titties out in unforgiven?? it seems like id remember this

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, he was hung, drawn and fellated.

xpost x3

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

does annie hall have carol kane titties or just keaton & duvall

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if the scene in Titanic is the most famous titty scene ever.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

(well I haven't seen some of those movies, so I can't account for their boob-quotient. Can't properly recall about Amadeus...)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:52 (twenty years ago)

he was hung

i'll say!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:52 (twenty years ago)

amadeus has a delicious pair < /kenan >

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:52 (twenty years ago)

Unforgiven has whores - I'm pretty sure there's tittays in one of the scenes at the brothel (I think when the girl gets cut...?)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:53 (twenty years ago)

the most famous titty scene ever is like trading places or something

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:53 (twenty years ago)

ugh shakey

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:53 (twenty years ago)

pretty sure candice bergen teabagged gandhi
-- j blount (jamesbloun...), March 31st, 2006.

Now there's a phrase you don't hear everyday.

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:53 (twenty years ago)

I am almost 100% certain Amadeus does not actually reveal nipplage. They do shove wifey's boobs up to her chin in all instances of her being on screen, so it's hard to remember for certain, though.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:53 (twenty years ago)

no the most famous titty scene is fast times, come on

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:54 (twenty years ago)

Where's Dan? He's the expert.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:54 (twenty years ago)

yeah that was the source of constant boners when i was 13

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:54 (twenty years ago)

oh yeah!

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:54 (twenty years ago)

dunno why but those costumes!! im first in line for dunst as marie antoinette

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:54 (twenty years ago)

This thread has taken a strange turn.

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:55 (twenty years ago)

OK can I call an official moritorium on the spelling "tittays"?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:55 (twenty years ago)

and the most dramatic titty scene in a best pic winner is probably schindler's list


xpost - s1ocki otm, i stand corrected

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:55 (twenty years ago)

this thread is xpost fever, i meant wolfgang's wifey

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:55 (twenty years ago)

hey I didn't say it was a pleasant breast display, only that it was OSCAR WINNING.

Amadeus tied with Chicago for gratuitous use of bustiers

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:56 (twenty years ago)

kellyosbourne.jpg

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:57 (twenty years ago)

dude the Schindler's List tits really irritated me. So unnecessary, I couldn't quite figure out why Fiennes was all dressed yet his lady friend had her baps out, like she must just sit around the house like that all day? Good for Fiennes if that's what the deal was.

Unlike all of these other necessary topless scenes, obviously.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:57 (twenty years ago)

haha i was actually referring to the shower scene ally

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:58 (twenty years ago)

maybe we should switch gears to Oscar Winning Displays of Male Buttocks. .. (anything besides Braveheart? Obviously Monster's Ball. ugh)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:58 (twenty years ago)

what best pics show cock? deer hunter, oliver!, what else?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:58 (twenty years ago)

wait does Robin Wright get topless in Forrest Gump?????

xpost hahahaha oh sorry blount.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:58 (twenty years ago)

hmm, and Dances with Wolves. Costner's always whipping his ass out.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:59 (twenty years ago)

Can't you see their dicks from afar in Braveheart? Cos they do the ass showing but then they turn around and do some kind of front waggle thing.

That is the worst thing I've ever typed.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 17:59 (twenty years ago)

they could find a jackson browne song about titties so robin wright didn't get topless in gump

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:00 (twenty years ago)

Dances with Wolves has Butt. no cock. (x-post goddamnit)

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:00 (twenty years ago)

i don't recall any bronto action in braveheart

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:00 (twenty years ago)

I couldn't remember if she got topless during the sex scene or not.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:01 (twenty years ago)

did spacey disclose wang in american beauty?

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:01 (twenty years ago)

xpost the front shot in Braveheart is from REALLY far away but I'm almost positive its in there.

xpost2 no but there are multiple scenes of him faux masturbating (at least I assume faux masturbating, I wasn't there)

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:02 (twenty years ago)

no, they implied that he has a wang ("suspension of disbelief") when he beat his meat in the shower but no show.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:03 (twenty years ago)

Did I, Robot win best picture this past year? Because you can see Will Smith's ass in that.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:05 (twenty years ago)

i've sorta watched that movie like three times and i have no memory of his ass appearing in it

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:05 (twenty years ago)

who can forget the scene in driving miss daisy where jessica tandy gives morgan freeman a prince albert

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

filmed in atlanta!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

wasnt that dan ackroyd

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

Tom Jones all the way.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

In the beginning, when he's dressing and taking a shower etc. It pans in and then focuses on his robo arm careful stretches.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

Hollywood films can't show wang, right? That's what Ewan MacGregor's for.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

dan ackroyd shows his dick while swimming in my girl

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:07 (twenty years ago)

BTW I Robot >>>>>> Crash

xpost like fuck Hollywood films can't show wang, either that or Harvey Keitel never got the memo.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:07 (twenty years ago)

will smith shows ass in independence day i think

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:07 (twenty years ago)

i can't believe you guys are forgetting about that scene in Patton!!

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:07 (twenty years ago)

or maybe men in black? theres a chemical shower scene

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:07 (twenty years ago)

i just know ive seen it

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah and Vivica Fox dances on a pole. No Randy Quaid ass tho, no credibility.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

and Harvey Keitel.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

keitel's rod is always welcome

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

Is it possible that we've all just been dreaming about Will Smith's ass, all these years, assuming we've seen it?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

ackroyd shows his dick in twilight zone: the movie too

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:08 (twenty years ago)

in national lampoon's xmas vacation randy quaid sticks his dick in the mashed potatoes

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:09 (twenty years ago)

vivica fox shows more in fucking essence than she does in independence day

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:09 (twenty years ago)

Which Hollywood film does Harvey Keitel show his wang in? I'm not talking about indie stuff.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:09 (twenty years ago)

In Jennifer 8 a body double pretending to be Uma Thurman gets naked A LOT guys.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:09 (twenty years ago)

yes classic indie films like the piano

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:10 (twenty years ago)

the Piano? Bad Lieutenant? that one with him and the monkey? (okay maybe not that last one)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:10 (twenty years ago)

i saw monkey trouble in boot camp too!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

w-w-wait those weren't uma's buhzooms?? dammit i wanked to the wrong woman

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

The Piano is an Aussie film!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

tuomas is just upset he never posed in a low cut wetsuit

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107822/companycredits

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

Tuomas the world is not sunshine and lollypops and a lot of indie studios aren't really v. "indie"anymore.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

MISWANKEN IDENTITY

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

replicating uma boob is like cold fusion or something on the 'if only' scale

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:12 (twenty years ago)

Best 10 in no chronological order:

All the King's Men
An American in Paris
On the Waterfront
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Midnight Cowboy
The French Connection
The Godfather
The Godfather Part II
Annie Hall
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Worst 10 (I haven't seen much pre-1950, I'm sure some of those films might be as bad as these but I'll probably never know for sure):

Rocky
Out of Africa
Platoon
Dances With Wolves
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
Titanic
Gladiator
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Crash

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:12 (twenty years ago)

Tracer Jennifer 8 was a body double! All the other films though, it was Uma, so just make sure you get the Dangerous Liasons or Baron Munchausen stills next time.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:12 (twenty years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103759/companycredits

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:12 (twenty years ago)

tuomaspanties.jpg

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:13 (twenty years ago)

no way is rocky on the worst list

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:13 (twenty years ago)

Yes I saw it the first time Tuomas, who distributed the film in America tho? Hobbits?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:13 (twenty years ago)

Now I really wish Brokeback Mountain had won, just so AFI can show the clip of the pup tent buggering scene.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:14 (twenty years ago)

Tuomas seriously all we're saying is yr allowed to show dick in Hollywood made and/or distributed films but it'll get you a worse rating than showing tits.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:14 (twenty years ago)

ally i'm pretty sure tuomas knows more about american culture than you or any of us

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:15 (twenty years ago)

Just because an indie flick becomes a hit doesn't mean it's "Hollywood". What I meant by "Hollywood films" was "films produced by the big Hollywood studios".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:15 (twenty years ago)

see?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:16 (twenty years ago)

yeah but I know more about Uma's boobs. xpost

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:16 (twenty years ago)

so Tuomas was that a vote for Hobbits distributing The Piano?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:16 (twenty years ago)

well this is going down the tubes

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:16 (twenty years ago)

I thought Boogie Nights was exceptional exactly because it did show the wang.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:17 (twenty years ago)

I'll be at I Love Film.

-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...), March 30th, 2006 11:19 AM

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:17 (twenty years ago)

My mom better not hear of anyone badmouthing Dances With Wolves!

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:18 (twenty years ago)

Gah the wang is the biggest misstep of Boogie Nights.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:19 (twenty years ago)

so Tuomas was that a vote for Hobbits distributing The Piano?

Wasn't Miramax still considered indie back in 1993?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:19 (twenty years ago)

You have yet to bring up radical feminism, I call shenanigans!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:20 (twenty years ago)

One Hollywood movie I can thing of that shows wang is Ghost Story. It's Craig Wasson's wang, fwiw.

x-post Ally the wang is crucial to that scene!

― phil d. (Phil D.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:21 (twenty years ago)

worst thread ever

how does this fit with the alternate tuomas theory

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:21 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, I'm not trying to claim there aren't succesful American movies with wangs, all I'm saying is that the big studios seem to avoid the wang.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:21 (twenty years ago)

ribisi shows wang in 'suburbia' (the bogosian one not the punk one)

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:21 (twenty years ago)

To the scene perhaps but I think it was a huge misstep for the whole movie! Mainly because they spent 3 hours building up his penis so no matter what they show you, you're going to be like, "That's it?" He could've pulled down his pants to reveal Ving Rhames, full size entire Ving Rhames, had been surgically attached to his crotch and I would've been like, "Oh I've seen better." It's like Santa Claus, seeing one in person is so disappointing, you look for the gnats in the beard.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:23 (twenty years ago)

what about when the wang was at the mtv movie awards

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:24 (twenty years ago)

It's mostly a mistep because his wang looks all weird. The people who did the prosthesis in that movie should never work again!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:25 (twenty years ago)

I haven't seen "Boogie Nights" yet and already it's been ruined forever.

― Dan (VING RHAMES?????) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:25 (twenty years ago)

Gladiator.

― latebloomer: band to the planet mars (latebloomer), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:26 (twenty years ago)

(Also Jon Holmes and Long Dong Silver looked like total freaks of nature and they didn't have prosthetics. I still have nightmares of the pic I stumbled across on the Internet where LDS tied his dick in a knot.)

― Dan (Ow) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:26 (twenty years ago)

I kinda agree with Ally, it's the mystery that lingers in the mind, not the actual wang. Kinda like the content of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Well that's one mystery solved.

― Dan ("It Glows!") Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Uma boob in Baron Munchasen

Nude Bacon in Wild Things

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:28 (twenty years ago)

and he really wanted to in the Other Sister, but they stuck with the embarassing underwear instead.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:28 (twenty years ago)

It really did look like he was wearing a detachable penis, Marky Mark should've protested this insult.

xpost exactly, if you find out what is in the briefcase you'll be disappointed. No matter what is in it.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:28 (twenty years ago)

huge donkey dick wangs tend to look pretty weird so that mighta been on purpose.

xpost dan otm

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:29 (twenty years ago)

(uh x-post referring to ribisi there)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:29 (twenty years ago)

Maybe that's why Clarence Thomas is so grouchy all of the time, too many viewings of LDS movies.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:30 (twenty years ago)

Same as near everyone else; haven't worked up much enthusiasm to chase the mi**lebr*w crap from the '30s, so these are mostly currents.

10 favorites:
Sunrise
Rebecca
How Green Was My Valley
The Best Years of Our Lives
All About Eve
The Godfather, Part II
Annie Hall
Driving Miss Daisy
Titanic
Million Dollar Baby

10 least favorites:
Ben-Hur
My Fair Lady
Patton
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest [note: classic case of "I read the book first"]
Rocky
Out of Africa
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
American Beauty
Crash

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:33 (twenty years ago)

To this day I think that LDS actually had a side-deal doing guerilla product placement for Johnsonville Bratwurst because that shit shouldn't be real.

― Dan (Eek) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:34 (twenty years ago)

If Sunrise doesn't count, then I guess put in On the Waterfront. (xpost)

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:34 (twenty years ago)

From Wikipedia:

Long Dong Silver (Birthname: Daniel Arthur Mead - see external link) is the alias of a black actor in several pornographic films in the early 1980s, famed for the size of his penis (reputedly 18 inches = 45.72 centimeters), although it is generally accepted to have been extended with a prosthetic sheath.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:35 (twenty years ago)

fuck - i FORGOT sunrise!!!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:35 (twenty years ago)

THANK YOU (CLARENCE) TUOMAS

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:35 (twenty years ago)

I don't know why I'm so relieved but I am.

― Dan (Whew) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:36 (twenty years ago)

Well, looking at his pics I can relate... Some things just shouldn't be!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:37 (twenty years ago)

i skimmed the last 20 posts & thought yall had moved on to discussing latter-day saints

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:40 (twenty years ago)

big lol @ 'clarence tuomas' tho

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:41 (twenty years ago)

haha what best pictures have featured mormon genitalia?

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:42 (twenty years ago)

hahaha me too!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:42 (twenty years ago)

How Green Was My Valley
Gentleman's Agreement
The Greatest Show on Earth
Marty
Around the World in 80 Days
Rocky
Rain Man
Dances With Wolves
Schindler's List
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

― anthony, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:43 (twenty years ago)

Dan, I'd like to apologize, I am not really sure why "Ving Rhames" was my first "thing that could come out of pants and be surprising" thought. I've kind of completely ruined not just Boogie Nights but also Marky Mark for myself, also.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:44 (twenty years ago)

there weren't any mormon privates in LOTR dude

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Heston in Ben-Hur counts as Oscar winning breast display.

Shakey, Dangerous Liaisons lost to Rain Man; if only 18th-c French aristos went to Las Vegas.

The ten I've never seen:

Wings
The Broadway Melody (maybe)
Cimarron
Cavalcade
The Great Ziegfeld
The Life of Emile Zola
The Greatest Show on Earth
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
Gladiator
A Beautiful Mind


Hey, 2 of 4 "never replying to Morbius" posters in the house... I knew I should've idiot-proofed it by titling "Mohsen Makhmalbaf vs. Abbas Kiarostami." Is there any serious reason morons shouldn't be banned from ilx?

Under what circumstances does one see Cavalcade and why is it so despised? It's a Noel Coward adaptation, did they rewrite the entire script?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Make that three OF 4!!!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

(xpost) The way it tied into the subsequent "Pulp Fiction" reference was kind of awesome, though.

― Dan (So That Was Worth It) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:46 (twenty years ago)

what are you talking about (xp)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:47 (twenty years ago)

morbs went on a psycho stalker spree again cuz someone dissed spielberg and there's discussion (again) of banning him from ilx

― j (seriously why hasn't it happened already?) blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:49 (twenty years ago)

somebody got sand in his contrabulous fabgina

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:50 (twenty years ago)

I knew I should've idiot-proofed it by titling "Mohsen Makhmalbaf vs. Abbas Kiarostami." Is there any serious reason morons shouldn't be banned from ilx?

A lot of people have seen both MM and AK movies, tho. And I bet a lot of people could bring up Mania Akbari's resolutely clothed tits.

(Flamewars can be pretty entertaining from the sidelines.)

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:50 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it was Ving Rhames' wang that was in the suitcase!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:50 (twenty years ago)

pretty sure they keep ving rhames wang at radio shack

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:51 (twenty years ago)

you mean at circuit city presents the source

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:51 (twenty years ago)

I'm still having a hard time coming up with an actual list, because of my quandry from far upthread and also because I'm overrating the badness of movies I've seen recently over movies I saw ages ago.

xpost Akbari should totally take it off though, let's all shake hands and agree on that one.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:52 (twenty years ago)

I was puzzled why people are counting Sunrise, but they had some vaporous mystery award in the early days like Best Dramatic Production?

Yeah, a lot of people have seen Makhmalbaf and Kiarostami movies, but not the interbreeds who want to ban me for not being in the MASH Officers Club.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:53 (twenty years ago)

interbreeds?

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:53 (twenty years ago)

o rly?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:54 (twenty years ago)

Under what circumstances does one see Cavalcade and why is it so despised?

It's creaky and infused with Noel Coward's brand of Anglophiliac snobbery.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:54 (twenty years ago)

xpost Akbari should totally take it off though, let's all shake hands and agree on that one.

Wouldn't she be, like, beheaded or something for taking it off? (Though I guess that still leaves the tits in place.)

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:54 (twenty years ago)

I mean, that's why he had the band-aid on the back of his head, because that's where the devil takes your wang from... And that's why he was so humiliated in the S/M scene, because what's worse than to butt-rape a wangless man, who can't even pay you back?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:54 (twenty years ago)

Wouldn't she be, like, beheaded or something for taking it off? (Though I guess that still leaves the tits in place.)

And really, what's more important?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:55 (twenty years ago)

i think they're waiting til the code's rewritten to ban him folx so

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:55 (twenty years ago)

live at the tuomprov

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:55 (twenty years ago)

I mean, that's why he had the band-aid on the back of his head, because that's where the devil takes your wang from...

WAHT

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:56 (twenty years ago)

cf. trife's post above you ally

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:57 (twenty years ago)

http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/pulp.htm

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:57 (twenty years ago)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Gone with the Wind

― Jeff. (Jeff), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:59 (twenty years ago)

And surely Ving Rhames' wang would cast an ethereal glow. The stuff that dreams are made of...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:00 (twenty years ago)

Er, back to work!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:00 (twenty years ago)

I made this exact joke about 500 posts ago in two sentences.

― Dan (Invisible Man) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:01 (twenty years ago)

i think they're waiting til the code's rewritten to ban him folx so kittie

??? I see no evidence of this at the ModReq board.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:02 (twenty years ago)

12ftlizards dude

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:02 (twenty years ago)

yuk yuk yuk

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:03 (twenty years ago)

When the devil takes your soul from the back of your head, he also takes the suitcase from Kiss Me Deadly.

Wow, Hot Lips pretending to know who Mania Akbari is. That is stress.

Eric, blount just centers his daily role-playing game around dominating me.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:04 (twenty years ago)

tuomas-wetsuit.jpg photoshopped in front of a brick wall

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:04 (twenty years ago)

Oh come on Jeff, you really can't be serious about GWTW, can you?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:04 (twenty years ago)

it wasn't the stills of Jennifer 8, it was the VHS tape. the fact that her boobs only come out during voyeurism/rape scenes made me feel creepy for a second or two, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do, no use getting squeamish

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:05 (twenty years ago)

You're a horrible man!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:06 (twenty years ago)

fucking hell trayce!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:06 (twenty years ago)

maybe i should be relieved that they weren't her boobs ha ha

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:07 (twenty years ago)

am i wrong or does uma show cameltoe in truth abt cats & dogs

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

WTF are you watching Truth About Cats & Dogs for.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

not gettin raped of course so trayce'll need a fluffer

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

look, before the internet existed my choices were pretty limited

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

that movie woudlve been better if it was just 90 minutes of garafalo raping the shit out of uma

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:09 (twenty years ago)

still pretty good tho

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:09 (twenty years ago)

cue nude spock with a google video link to the real truth about cats & dogs

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:10 (twenty years ago)

hahaha

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:10 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i can handle the real truth about cats and dogs.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:10 (twenty years ago)

this reminds me of when i fell down the stairs & a dog licked up my ice cream - clearly whoever had the most to gain was behind it!!

-- +++ (...), March 30th, 2006

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:13 (twenty years ago)

Trivia for
Jennifer Eight (1992)

* Bruce Robinson wrote the script for the sole purpose of actually getting a formula commercial film made so he might have the leverage to make other projects. The film's box office failure prevented that.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:13 (twenty years ago)

springtime for bizarro hitler

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:14 (twenty years ago)

GWTW (tho the last hour mostly sucks) is a better racist movie than Crash.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:17 (twenty years ago)

By the end of the day everyone on ILE will know everything about Jennifer 8.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:18 (twenty years ago)

not that anybody ever cares what I think but I'd be sad to see Morbs banned. pissed even.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:18 (twenty years ago)

Me too < / patently obvious >

But I'm still trying to figure out if this isn't anything more elaborate than mind games and a whisper campaign.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:20 (twenty years ago)

Tomorrow is another day.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:21 (twenty years ago)

The thing that I never "got" about GWTW is that they really made a very poor choice in casting Ashley. Who in their right mind would prefer that guy to Clark Gable? They went way too far in the other direction, to show the audience just how superior Rhett was, I guess, except it makes Scarlett a completely inexplicable lunatic.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:23 (twenty years ago)

http://www.medill.northwestern.edu/medill/inside/news/new_york_times_reporter_tells_students_to_ask_the_right_questions.html

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:23 (twenty years ago)

Who in their right mind would prefer that guy to Clark Gable? They went way too far in the other direction, to show the audience just how superior Rhett was, I guess, except it makes Scarlett a completely inexplicable lunatic.

Yeah, Leslie Howard was too old and too british to play Ashley.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:24 (twenty years ago)

Jennifer 8. Lee (born March 15, 1976 in New York City) is a New York Times reporter for the Metro section. She spells her middle name "8." on paper, but on her New York driver's license, it is spelled as "Eight".

Many Chinese and Japanese names contain numbers written in characters. Lee's parents, who are from Taiwan, added the number eight (the Chinese character ӻ) to Lee's name while she was a teenager (presumably with her consent). For many Chinese, the number eight symbolizes prosperity and good luck.

Lee graduated from Harvard University (class of 1999) and Hunter College High School. She interned at The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The Boston Globe, Newsday and The New York Times while working on her applied mathematics and economics degree. She joined the Times in 2001, one and a half years after graduating from Harvard.

A February 3, 2004, New York Sun article portrayed Lee, then based in Washington, D.C., as someone known as much for her grand parties as for her byline and profession. Exactly one year later, an item in the Washington Post reported that Lee was being sued by her former Washington landlady, who claimed Lee's parties caused about $148,000 in damage to the landlady's condominium.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:24 (twenty years ago)

(XPOST!)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:24 (twenty years ago)

OK what's sad is that I had to double read that first paragraph to figure out which non-Best-Picture-winning film you were referencing, because first thing I thought was "Was NYT reporter then immediately killed by her robot?"

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:25 (twenty years ago)

Is Jennifer 8 a sequel to Johnny 5?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:26 (twenty years ago)

the movie was called short circuit not johnny 5

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Really weak mind games -- worse than Spacey's cover of Lennon

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

also guttenberg shows dong in it

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.comedy-gags-jokes.com/images/leonard_part_6.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

Yr thinking of 3 Men and a Little Lady.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:28 (twenty years ago)

Ah, sorry, in Finland the title was Johnny 5.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:28 (twenty years ago)

that leonard part 6 packaging is revisionist

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:29 (twenty years ago)

Also, in Finland "The Rules of Attraction" was titled "Fuck the Rules". That's not a translation, they actually changed the English name to another English name.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:31 (twenty years ago)

And it still flopped.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:32 (twenty years ago)

in soviet russia rules fuck you

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:32 (twenty years ago)

i guess the distributor didn't like the movie that much

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Well that's cos you can call it whatever you want, but it's still a film starring James van der Beek.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Fans, surgeons and the cine-illiterate, we have surpassed the Actually, blount... thread by 40 posts! Salud.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:33 (twenty years ago)

gah there was talk of roger avery doing a glamorama flick, thank fucking god that got scuttled

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

There seems to be some other discussion going on here besides wangs and titties.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

but the Beek dies in the end, surely that's a winner?

― Big Willy and the Twins (miloaukerman), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

Yikes, Glamorama??

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:36 (twenty years ago)

i have no recollection of beek's death

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:37 (twenty years ago)

I thought the scene where he rides off on his crappy little Kawasaki ends up with him dead (like the suicide girl who was kind of cute), and that's why they go back to show all the other things that happened?

― Big Willy and the Twins (miloaukerman), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:38 (twenty years ago)

no. he just leaves, just like in the book.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:47 (twenty years ago)

"showin dong"

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:48 (twenty years ago)

you know what movie i liked? johnny handsome.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:52 (twenty years ago)

also: the hidden

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:52 (twenty years ago)

i like videodrome

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Videodrome more like VIDEO BORE!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:56 (twenty years ago)

That's crazy talk.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:58 (twenty years ago)

re All About Eve ... Oscar Wilde and Addison deWitt: easily confused?

FUCK OFF ALREADY YOU SHITBAG
-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 29th, 2006.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I mean I am sorry but your hamfisted "cleverness", ignoring the actual points people are trying to make at you in order to achieve your self-described Oscar Wilde of ILX status, and insistance on taking your bitchquests to any other thread I'm posting on is wearing extremely, extremely thin at a slightly stressful time in my life. Piss off.
-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 29th, 2006.


― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:00 (twenty years ago)

cronenberg actually does all the things that defenders of the cremaster series have convinced themselves matthew barney does

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:06 (twenty years ago)

stay tuned for the debut of dr morbius & nude spocks annual 'you dont own her!' convention

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:06 (twenty years ago)

haha and yet i am a huge cronenberg fanboy!

xpost - i imagine the two of them alone in the middle of a cavernous javits center, arguing.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Tracey, is that an alterego?

1. Crash
2. The Sound of Music
3. Shakespeare in Love
4. Mrs. Miniver
5. Gentleman's Agreement
6. Amadeus
7. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
8. American Beauty
9. Chicago
10. Marty

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:09 (twenty years ago)

I have never seen "Videodrome", would I like it?

― Dan (I'm Guessing Yes) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Videodrome is amazing.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:11 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

A lot of those fall into the "harmless mediocrity" category, imo.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:11 (twenty years ago)

aw Morbs what do you have against Amadeus? Sure its a hamfisted movie about Milos Forman's one and only theme ("the rebel vs. uptight society maaaaaan") but its SO FUNNY. "Too many notes", etc.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

The super fat guy in the King's court gives dependably hysterical double-takes.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:13 (twenty years ago)

halloween is another good movie

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:13 (twenty years ago)

"The super fat guy in the King's court gives dependably hysterical double-takes."

totally - I think all of his lines consist of spluttering.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:14 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)
I've heard good things about that one.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

A lot of those fall into the "harmless mediocrity" category, imo.

All of mine do, yeah, except the top 3! They're evil.

Shake, the SCRIPT for Amadeus is pretty fine, but it was the first drama I ever saw on Broadway, and F Murray Abraham is no Ian McKellen. And Forman's casting of Hulce and the Constanze mall-betty, aiiiieeee!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

arent you gay

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:16 (twenty years ago)

Tho I think "too many notes" also = "too many minutes"

I always wondered what Forman based his casting of Elizabeth Berridge on. The Funhouse?

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:17 (twenty years ago)

best Amadeus quip: an excellent Mozart introduction for the Academy members

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:18 (twenty years ago)

arent you gay

That's an exclamation and not a question, right?

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:19 (twenty years ago)

arent you poz?

did anyone get less out of a Best Actor win than F Murray Abraham? (first to mention Scarface gets wet)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:20 (twenty years ago)

OMG "Halloween". I can't deal with slasher films in general and that movie in particular really, really gets to me; just reading the title makes my flight instinct ping. I don't think I ever made it past the first 15 minutes of the movie.

― Dan (Hiding Behind The Office Chair) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:21 (twenty years ago)

the problem with f. murray abraham is that he is so arrogant to everyone he meets that no one wants to have anything to do with him.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:22 (twenty years ago)

well Morbs what would you have preferred to win over Amadeus that year (I was too young to really remember what else was nominated at the time)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Halloween has a great theme. Not my favorite Carpenter flick by a long stretch though (that would be THE THING, best sci-fi horror film evah)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:23 (twenty years ago)

poz???

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:24 (twenty years ago)

I didn't much like Amadeus... It stated it theme during the first ten minutes, and then kept repeating it over and over again. Some nice visuals though.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:24 (twenty years ago)

(I was too young to really remember what else was nominated at the time)

* Amadeus -- Saul Zaentz, Producer
The Killing Fields -- David Puttnam, Producer
A Passage to India -- John Brabourne and Richard Goodwin, Producers
Places in the Heart -- Arlene Donovan, Producer
A Soldier's Story -- Norman Jewison, Ronald L. Schwary and Patrick Palmer, Producers

― Dan (Only Seen "Amadeus") Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:25 (twenty years ago)

hmm well I saw a Passage to India and can't say that that deserved to win over Amadeus. Never saw the others.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:27 (twenty years ago)

HIV-poz?

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:29 (twenty years ago)

(Hahaha I'd forgotten that "The Hours" was nominated for Best Picture)

― Dan (Hahahaha) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:29 (twenty years ago)

lol @ AIDS jokes

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:30 (twenty years ago)

good one morbs!

― +++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:30 (twenty years ago)

ugly prostethics plus "attractive" Hollywood star/starlet = Oscar

(also, fucked on-screen by older, uglier Hollywood stalwart = Oscar)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

Not hard to see why Amadeus won. It was the dreariest lineup maybe ever.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

Mo -- ANY of the other nominees, preferably Places in the Heart or A Passage to India over Killing Fields or Soldier's Story. In a perfect world, Stop Making Sense, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, All of Me, or Broadway Danny Rose.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

(also, fucked on-screen by older, uglier Hollywood stalwart = Oscar)

Is that what Meryl Streep does in this movie? I skipped it.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:32 (twenty years ago)

hmm yeah I'd maybe give it to All of Me (always annoyed that Reiner stole the "girl fakes orgasm" gag for the infinitely shittier When Harry Met Sally)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:33 (twenty years ago)

lol @ 'gay' as bait, unless you thought some of my picks were het-centric? I'm funny that way.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:35 (twenty years ago)

it was for dissing mozart's wifey

― ++++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Man, her Long Island SCREECH...

btw, search Pauline Kael's comments on Marty and The Sound of Music. Like Armond White, she was primo when she hated.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

hmm yeah I'd maybe give it to All of Me (always annoyed that Reiner stole the "girl fakes orgasm" gag for the infinitely shittier When Harry Met Sally)

That means Rob stole it from his DAD!!

btw, Steve Martin won Best Actor for that from the NY Film Critics.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

SERIOUS QUESTION:

How do you actually vote on that blog?

Steve

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

just sayin - performance is better if youd hit it

― ++++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

Oh whoops, it's down a few posts FYI:

send ballots to [email protected]

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

hmm yeah I'd maybe give it to All of Me (always annoyed that Reiner stole the "girl fakes orgasm" gag for the infinitely shittier When Harry Met Sally)

That means Rob stole it from his DAD!!

Or maybe they both learned it from Rob's mom...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:43 (twenty years ago)

^^ amirite??

― ++++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:43 (twenty years ago)

(All of Me also has a better kicker joke for that bit, Steve Martin shouting to his office: "Oh yeah?! Well - I faked all of mine too!")

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:44 (twenty years ago)

Man, her Long Island SCREECH...

This always cracks me up. Why do Americans assume its better for foreigners to sound like British people? I thought she came across as a plausibly dim frau, which seemed appropriate.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:48 (twenty years ago)

yeah I thought the whole point was to have someone play all gauche and uncultured for that role (hence, the hey lets get some bimbo from Long Island! tactic)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:49 (twenty years ago)

xpost

MW, I don't normally care. But LI or NJ vowels is different. She was all but chewing gum.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

The super fat guy in the King's court gives dependably hysterical double-takes.

Hilarious.

But Jeffrey Jones gives a terrific little perf as the boobish emperor.

Of the nominees that year I'd have given it to A Passage to India, but 1984's best movies were Ghostbusters and Stop Making Sense.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:52 (twenty years ago)

she can screech on me anytime

― ++++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:52 (twenty years ago)

I prefer the 'Killing Fields' to 'Amadeus', though, mainly 'cause the story in Amadeus is tarted-up bullshit.

Being from the West Coast, it doesn't grate so much on my ears. Had she been some kind of gnarly Valley chick I might have objected.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Who played all the Amadeus roles when it was on broadway? I heard Mark Hamill had the lead...

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:03 (twenty years ago)

McKellen, Tim Curry as Mozart (I saw Peter Firth) -- I think Amy Irving as Constanze?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:04 (twenty years ago)

going home now -- great thread everybody!

― ++++, Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

(Hamill mightve been near the end of the run...god...)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:06 (twenty years ago)

it's threads like these that made me decide not to be a film major

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:15 (twenty years ago)

But if you do, J.D., don't tell anyone on ILE about your film.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:18 (twenty years ago)

do tell us if there's titties in it tho

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Hahahahaha

― Dan (Awesome) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:23 (twenty years ago)

'Titties', now a major motion picture starring...

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:25 (twenty years ago)

The most BAD BAD VOMIT BAD scene I can think of in the trying-too-hard melodrama genre, would be the one in "a beautiful mind" where russell crowe leaves the baby in the bathtub with the water running, until it almost gets drowned, and then his wife runs and cries, and he realizes he's cwazy and goes NOOOOOO, and runs into a rainstorm and almost gets hit by a car. How about maybe throwing in a puppy getting stabbed or some burning orphans or something?

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

I can't be bothered to read this whole thread but it can't be reiterated enough that A Beautiful Mind is a REALLY FUCKING DREADFUL FILM

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:44 (twenty years ago)

I just realized we didn't mention "Sideways" in the list of movies that show wang.

― Dan (Ew) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:45 (twenty years ago)

I totally forgot Beautiful Mind got best picture, and yes, it is a fucking awful film. Much worse than Titanic. Ron Howard is a hack.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:13 (twenty years ago)

and Russel Crowe is an overpaid bozo.

You couldn't pay me to watch a Ron Howard film.

Unless it had a robot driving instructor who goes back in time for some reason, and has a sidekick who is a talking pie...

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:15 (twenty years ago)

Russell Crowe was great in Proof, L.A. Confidential, and The Insider. I give him credit for giving a performance in search of a different kind of movie in Gladiator.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:17 (twenty years ago)

were you not entertained by gladiator

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:19 (twenty years ago)

he's okay in LA Confidential, but the other two cops have better roles (and I am DEFINITELY not a Kevin Spacey fan)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:21 (twenty years ago)

I've never seen all of Gladiator. I saw some of it on TV but didn't get very far.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:23 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I think there's an excellent actor lurking somewhere inside the twattish neanderthal form of Russell Crowe. His performance in Gladiator is exactly what the film needs - he dominates the screen completely. He hasn't done a good turn since that I'm aware of.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:24 (twenty years ago)

Gladiator is wrecked by its editing or its tempo or something. Against any proper swords and sandals flick the fight scenes are shit: too fast and unengaging.

I quite like Russell though, fighting around the world and all. The non-action bits of Gladiator are way better.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:25 (twenty years ago)

(honestly the only reason I watched any of it at all was to peep Oliver Reed's final perf)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:25 (twenty years ago)

using the very mechanized, jittery, "remove-every-other-frame" style of action editing/DP work for a film that takes place in Rome is just a bad idea.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:27 (twenty years ago)

The non-action bits of Gladiator are way better.

I couldn't disagree with you more. I love the speed and brutality of the fight scenes; it's like you're in the arena with them, you can almost taste the blood. The rest is just lots of portentous dialogue in tents.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:33 (twenty years ago)

its weird - I'm interested in ancient Rome as a general subject but when I think about this movie it just doesn't interest me at all. Gladiators, fictional emperors, ho hum... now Caligula, on the other hand...

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:39 (twenty years ago)

VA VA VA VOOM!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:39 (twenty years ago)

Mo, Apollo 13 is really pretty good, speaking of Ron Howard flicks.

As far as Amadeus, I seem to recall from the making-of on the DVD that Berridge was not his first choice but his other one had passport problems or something, but I might just be making that up. Still, i though she was perfectly fine.

― phil d. (Phil D.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:42 (twenty years ago)

I think the speed negates the brutality. I want to like Gladiator more: I'm a sucker for anything about the Roman Empire. But the choreography in your Spartacus's ends up feeling truer to life to me. I imagine gladiators lumbering more than scooting, and questions of Realism aside it's more entertaining.

xpost

At this point I read Shakey's post, and agreed, but the other thing about Gladiator that annoys me is that it don't use fictional emperors, it just fucks with the history of Marcus Aurelius and Commodus.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Although it's not as bad as the 50s movie where somebody kills Caligula by throwing a trident at him from the Arena. Is that Demetrius and the Gladiators? I can't remember but I saw it a few months back and I was spitting blood.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:44 (twenty years ago)

haha - wow from the bits I saw it didn't register with me at all that they were referring to the historical Marcus Aurelius, it all seemed so generic and fictional.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:47 (twenty years ago)

that's not as bad as when in 'the untouchables', eliot ness tosses frank nitti onto a car and the car explodes or something.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:49 (twenty years ago)

haha - well there's always lots of silly shit happening in Kevin Costner movies.


Like his pants constantly coming off.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:51 (twenty years ago)

Apparently the historical Commodus did bring disgrace on himself by performing as a gladiator regularly, but as far as I remember without googling he was offed in a palace coup, not by a dying vengeful wifeless mo'fucker.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:52 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't Jane Seymour the original Constanze?

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:56 (twenty years ago)

Google sez: "During his reign several attempts were made on Commodus' life. After a few botched efforts, an orchestrated plot was carried out early in December 192, apparently including his mistress Marcia. On 31 December an athlete named Narcissus strangled him in his bath, and the emperor's memory was cursed. This brought an end to the Antonine Dynasty."

(personally this is after the period of Roman history I'm most familiar with, eg, Tacitus and Plutarch's writings)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:57 (twenty years ago)

(uh what am I saying, I meant Suetonius - still haven't gotten around to Plutarch)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 22:58 (twenty years ago)

I'm slowly re-trudging through Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire at the moment. Gibbon's funnier than Suetonius, but not as aggro.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:02 (twenty years ago)

what was Gladiator up against? I seem to recall that there was a lot better stuff out that year that I preferred.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:05 (twenty years ago)

gibbon = hilarious!! also gets points in my book for using "insensible" at least three times per page

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:05 (twenty years ago)

My favourite Gibbon line, from memory, "[Persian (?) Emperor X] had a library of 100,000 books, and a harem of 1,000 wives, and both, it seems, were built for use rather than ostentation."

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:08 (twenty years ago)

chocolat, crouching tiger, traffic, erin brockovich. man, chocolat, who even remembers that film?

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:08 (twenty years ago)

There's a series of adverts for butter over here that rip off Chocolat so we're kinda forced to remember it.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:11 (twenty years ago)

hmm while I liked Crouching Tiger and Traffic, I have too many issues with both to say they were truly great or anything.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:11 (twenty years ago)

Is there a site where you can see all the nominees for each category by year? A cursory google doesn't reveal one.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:11 (twenty years ago)

try a google search for "oscar nominations by year" and click on the first result

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:17 (twenty years ago)

Also, try removing quotes from your search to get more results.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:18 (twenty years ago)

Yep, found it. Thanks.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/Sections/Awards/Academy_Awards_USA/

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:20 (twenty years ago)

If you want all the BP nominees on one page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academy_Award_for_Best_Picture

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:22 (twenty years ago)

OK, my favourites out of the nominees for the 00s:

2000: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
2001: Fellowship of the Ring.
2002: The Pianist.
2003: Lost in Translation.
2004: Sideways.
2006: Brokeback Mountain.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:31 (twenty years ago)

whatever year "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" came out that should've taken all the awards from everybody else. wtf.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:32 (twenty years ago)

also: DONNIE DARKO

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 23:32 (twenty years ago)

i'm a fan of movie tits and such, but it's a shame this strayed so far from the original idea.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 31 March 2006 00:39 (twenty years ago)

Mind games again.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, 31 March 2006 01:01 (twenty years ago)

worst votes

1. Mrs. Miniver
2. Out of Africa -- date movie with Streep + Redford = DIE
3. Gandhi -- "like going to the funeral of someone you didn't know"
4. Gladiator -- carnage, yawn
5. Driving Miss Daisy
6. Oliver!
7. Gigi -- totally foreign to me
8. Shakespeare in Love -- date move with Gwyneth + a Fiennes = DIE
9. Ben-Hur -- kind of harmless in a "watch it on tv, forget about it afterward" way, but still stupid
10. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King -- I liked the first in the series but the other two aren't coherent

― älänbänänä (alanbanana), Friday, 31 March 2006 04:49 (twenty years ago)

Best Picture Oscar Winners (from 1950 on) I haven't seen; let me know which one's I'm missing out on:

Marty, Greatest Show On Earth, Around the World in 80 Days, Tom Jones, A Man for All Seasons, Oliver, Patton, Godfather II, Kramer v. Kramer, Ordinary People, Terms of Endearment, Out of Africa, Braveheart, English Patient, A Beautiful Mind, Million Dollar Baby.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 31 March 2006 05:10 (twenty years ago)

patton is pro-war pro-death etc but is also really entertaining
mdb has bad narration but is still very good
the other ones i've seen are skippable.

― älänbänänä (alanbanana), Friday, 31 March 2006 06:01 (twenty years ago)

i screwed up kael's gandhi quote, it's "as if I had attended the funeral of someone I didn't know"

― älänbänänä (alanbanana), Friday, 31 March 2006 06:06 (twenty years ago)

it's threads like these that made me decide not to be a film major

JD, you mean this thread is just crawlin with film majors? (oh wait -- I see. Yeah, not much need for them.)

Wasn't Jane Seymour the original Constanze?

rosemary, you are correct!

http://www.ibdb.com/production.asp?ID=4083


7. Gigi -- totally foreign to me

Oh, that's sad! (not bein snarky -- I break into "The Night They Invented Champagne" fairly often)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 31 March 2006 13:37 (twenty years ago)

btw, Gladiata-hatas -- Christopher Plummer is a hammy but effective Commodus in this watchable '64 epic:

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0058085/

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 31 March 2006 13:44 (twenty years ago)

I haven't seen Gigi or An American in Paris.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 31 March 2006 13:46 (twenty years ago)

Plummer's my kinda ham

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 31 March 2006 15:48 (twenty years ago)

I had no idea "Around The World In 80 Days" is so hated! I've never seen it but isn't it just, like, David Niven prancing around various exotic locations and tons of wink wink celebrity cameo appearences? Which, considering that the ppl involved in that include Sinatra, Buster Keaton, Marlene Dietrich and Peter Lorre, sounds like a pretty good time to me.

The book's ok. That cartoon with the lion as Willie Fogg is pretty cool.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 31 March 2006 16:37 (twenty years ago)

The music for the cartoon with the lion as Willie Fogg is way cool.

I can only understand people hating it for getting Best Picture if they thought the award should go the best film of its year. Yeah right.

― Robocock (noodle vague), Friday, 31 March 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Haha if they'd made being an asshole a bannable offense, this thread would be 30 posts long!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 31 March 2006 17:21 (twenty years ago)

word

I only saw 80 Days on TV when I was maybe 12. I don't recall it using Cantinflas especially well tho.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 31 March 2006 17:23 (twenty years ago)

it's only passable as a travelog, but it drags & drags, is not funny in the least (otm about Cantinflas), and seems to be made merely as a vehicle for the Todd AO technology. Ok for the kiddies is the best you can say.

regarding Cavalcade, it CREAKS like the worst of the early sound films, and it gets weirdly moralistic towards the end - what is that crazy Jazz-montage where the point seems to be "jazz is evil, that's why the world has gone to seed" I find it hard to believe that was in the Coward source material, but maybe it was????

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 31 March 2006 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Cavalcade is Noel Coward for those who think George F. Will is Noel Coward-esque.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 31 March 2006 20:32 (twenty years ago)

VICTORY DANCE!!!

http://eddieonfilm.blogspot.com/2006/04/and-losers-are.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:26 (twenty years ago)

guys it is PHILEAS fogg!! (best name ever btw)

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 1 April 2006 23:06 (twenty years ago)

i like Willie Fogg better

― latebloomer: a power and finesse vocalist (latebloomer), Saturday, 1 April 2006 23:12 (twenty years ago)

Will you guys fuckin stop calling TracerHand Trayce?

Kthxbye.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 00:30 (twenty years ago)

If Moulin Rouge! had managed to win Best Picture, it might've made #2 on my list.

I think Gigi is the only winner that was an original musical for film, as opposed to a compiled 'jukebox' (like American in Paris) or adaptation from Broadway.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 April 2006 13:32 (twenty years ago)

Holy shit, "Shakespeare In Love" apologists exist.

― Dan (Gah) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 April 2006 13:35 (twenty years ago)

No. 6: Braveheart: Freedom! -- from more overwrought epics like Mel Gibson's effort. What does it say about the competition for best picture in 1995 that the best film was about a talking pig? Odienator writes, "A brave heart makes a shattered eardrum, a sore ass, and an upset stomach. Featuring Oscar winning makeup by the Sears paint department." Josh R went further in comments in the original thread about this survey writing, without naming the movie, "Brokeback may not inspire the Academy too much, but they sure have no problem with ugly gay stereotypes, particularly scenes intended to cause laughter when weak swishy-boys are tossed off balconies and the like. I often wonder if it's too late to revoke a certain Australian-born actor-director's US citizenship."

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 3 April 2006 14:33 (twenty years ago)

What, no hate for Terms of Endearment? Jeff Daniels and Debra Winger are good, but my God that movie is loathesome.

― Pete Scholtes (Pete Scholtes), Monday, 3 April 2006 15:55 (twenty years ago)

Point of order: Mel Gibson is a US born actor-director. His family moved to Australia when he was, like, ten or something so his crazy father could help his boys dodge the draft.

― phil d. (Phil D.), Monday, 3 April 2006 18:06 (twenty years ago)

eleven years pass...

It's listicle clickbait season, so Slant did this!

https://www.slantmagazine.com/features/article/every-best-picture-oscar-winner-ranked-from-worst-to-best

I don't know who the fella is who wrote the My Fair Lady (#64) take, but his mention of Shaw's "repulsive premise: The reason poor people are poor is that rich people don't like the way they talk" seems rather clueless.

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 15:45 (eight years ago)

there was this one too

http://www.newsweek.com/all-90-best-pictures-ranked-90-61-813603

― piscesx, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:11 (eight years ago)

Surprising to see On The Waterfront in the Top 10, any Top 10 these days, when i was a lad you couldn't read an article about the film without that whole Kazan-grassing-up-commies thing being mentioned, but not a whisper of it here.

― piscesx, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:19 (eight years ago)

Since ratting in that fashion is unrelated to current purity obsessions it probably wasn't a factor.

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:22 (eight years ago)

Solid top twelve.

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:00 (eight years ago)

I'd be interested to know if anyone has a compelling argument for a worse best picture winner than the one that everyone else seems to agree is the worst.

― Here Comes The Brain Event (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:05 (eight years ago)

it's approximately two hours shorter than The English Patient?

― piper at the gates of d'awwww (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:07 (eight years ago)

ok, it's only 50 minutes shorter. EP was only 2 hrs 42, it only felt like four hours

― piper at the gates of d'awwww (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:08 (eight years ago)

'd be interested to know if anyone has a compelling argument for a worse best picture winner than the one that everyone else seems to agree is the worst.

― Here Comes The Brain Event (Old Lunch), T

Cavalcade is interminable and less than two hours.

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:09 (eight years ago)

i actually *like* The English Patient, though I admit it's not a super exciting film. But it's the kind of boring film I like for some reason. it's a thin line between that and a film that actually bores me, I can't quite pin it down. but i think the actors elevate it considerably.

― omar little, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:11 (eight years ago)

some people at Slant still can't see through Her.

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:13 (eight years ago)

eleven months pass...

I ranked the 2010s to date for ya.

― Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:01 (seven years ago)

and the 1940s.

― a Stalin Stale Ale for me, please (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 21 February 2019 02:35 (seven years ago)


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