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Guys who stare really ostentatiously at a girl's ass after she passes him on the sidewalk - C/D

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It's creepy, but you almost have to respect it.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 14:59 (nineteen years ago) link

I think every guy, regardless of his sensitive-new-age-whimpster credentials, has done this at least a few times in his life.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Creepy? It might be a little forward and a little lacking in subtlety, but I don't think it's creepy. If they really don't want guys to check out their asses, they should wear a bustle.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I wrote a poem about this when I lived in Montreal.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 15:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I bet Tiny Tim never did this (R.I.P.).

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Totally dependant on the technique and the level of obvious interest. C would have to be the sly-yet-blatant arched-eyebrow aesthete of the posterior - "I would give that ass a thumbs' up, yes I would; bravo, madam". D would be the 3/4 body-turning butt lech - "OMG I WANT TO SLIDE MY CREDIT CARD THROUGH THAT CRACK SO FUCKING BAD (AND BY CREDIT CARD I MEAN PENIS)".

Granted, a D assessment can be masked by C technique, but I'd prefer that over a C assessment expressed through really D technique (cf. awkwardly sensitive boys between the ages of 15 and 22, AKA me). In conclusion, ass-ogling is definitely a style-over-substance type of endeavor.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Bravo!

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:14 (nineteen years ago) link

MARKS OUTTA 10: I'D GIVE HER ONE

― scg, Friday, 1 April 2005 15:14 (nineteen years ago) link

To further M. White's bustle suggestion - if women don't want men to check out their asses, they should walk backwards.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:20 (nineteen years ago) link

ostentatiously

Are you sure you're using the right word here? I think you might mean deliberately and/or conspicuously or even simply openly. I don't think anyone oggles someone else's ass in a pretentious manner.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think that'll work - I'm no doctor but I think boobs are on the other side.

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:31 (nineteen years ago) link

if women don't want men to check their asses, they should wear burkas.

oh, wait.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:31 (nineteen years ago) link

without this, life would infinitely more boring.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I always do this on the sly. Being obvious about it is pretty gauche, but hey, you'll probably never get another chance to see that ass again so you gotta do what you gotta do I guess.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm guilty of this. I've been caught, too. I've actually turned my entire body around and begun walking backwards so as to get a complete view. As a woman, I know it's a bit creepy and not cool, but I have issues when it comes to looking at something for longer than I should. I'm much more conscious of this than I was years ago, but sometimes I slip up.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not proud but I have done this. Recently. Actually, just a few minutes ago.

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Schooled by Alex on the proper definition of "ostentatious"! I am humbled.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I was doing some equal opportunity ASSessment yesterday evening @ a VFW rock show. Emunk boys need to put some junk in their trunk. The girls, however, are doing juuuuust fine.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't really understand ass-love that much. I mean, is the whole point that it's enticing because of what it's not (ie: what's on the other side)??

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

oh sarah sit down before me and i shall tell you about ass...

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

no. if she sits down, you can't see her ass.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh goodness no, Sarah. Love the butt for the butt's sake.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Lately, I've had this horrible string of women wearing low-cut shirts bending over in front of me. It's like, oh goody! But also, show some respect! But like, the view of the boobs is placed in front of me, and to avert my eyes is an artificial response that seems to acknowledge that there's something wrong with looking at boobs.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Also: DJ PERRY to thread.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't really understand ass-love that much.

I think it's like the only thing in this world I do properly understand!

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Dudes, it's a Friday and we are talking about ass and it is 8:40 here. This thread is so going to top 300 posts by the afternoon!

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

it's sometimes more fun to watch men watching women's asses than to watch said asses.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

it only gets ostentatious when the starers start vocalizing: "hey baby..." as if she couldn't already FEEL THE HEAT of yr gaze.

classic, and increasingly so when you're middle aged & married ;) but thanks je4nne for making feel like less of a sexist dog.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

well done "n/a"!

xp-definitely, I think stevem said something about that once...

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:42 (nineteen years ago) link

i worry about you, amateurist.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Correct me if I'm wrong - but would everyone agree that ostentatious ass-ogling is not usually performed in mixed company? I would think doing it in front of the opposite gender tends to up the dud quotient significantly.

― o. nate (onate), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I agree that a dumpy ass is off-putting, but I rarely see an ass and think, "Oh, God yes! That's one fine ass!"

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Really? wow

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

o. nate, if you're ostentatiously ass-ogling in front of your girlfriend, it might be dude, unless she digs chicks too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

sorry, dud.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

anyway let's not pretend that women (aside from sarah) don't ostentatiously ass-ogle dudes. because they do.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Women are beautiful. Some are really really beautiful with really really beautiful curvy bodies. To *not* look and honor this beauty seems wrong and very uptight.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

well, hstencil, it really depends on the ass in question.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Correct me if I'm wrong - but would everyone agree that ostentatious ass-ogling is not usually performed in mixed company? I would think doing it in front of the opposite gender tends to up the dud quotient significantly.

-- o. nate (syne_wav...), April 1st, 2005 10:42 AM

but then it becomes "Guys who stare really furtively at a girl's ass after she passes him on the sidewalk"

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

sarah you're starting to make me cry.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

also Jeanne OTM

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

(in response to your worrying about me.)

xpost

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't totally agree w/ am's statement, but when I catch someone w/ awestruck eyes & agape mouth totally checking out someone's ass, it does add a little something to the experience. Also, it gives me a heads' up re: what made them bug out. Other good accents: watching someone execute the double-take; the ogler getting caught ogling by their significant other; the ogler getting caught by the oglee.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:46 (nineteen years ago) link

If you ever come to my town with a day to spare, I'll take on the the Asses of Canada Walking Tour (trademark pending) and you'll understand.

Back in the 90s, a friend and I were working for this weird company that sent us into small towns in BC to talk to high school kids, and we pretty much had nothing to do for 7 of the 8 hours were stuck in these podunks, so we'd walk around, looking at asses. We broke them down into loony classifications. Like, "Check out the boom-bip-bop over there! And how about the homina-heiny henceforth hithering?"

massive xpost

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 15:47 (nineteen years ago) link

A while back I was walking down the street, and there was this girl walking about 15-20 feet ahead of me, and I passed this old man standing on the sidewalk, and as I passed him, he nodded at the girl in front of me, winked, and gave me a thumbs up.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Ok. Someone post a picture of a guy with a really great ass (wearing clothes please), and I'll see if I dig it.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

"it must be jam, 'cause jelly don't shake like dat!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Well down on the street where the faces shine
Floating around, I'm a real low mind
See a pretty thang
Ain't no wall
See a pretty thang
Ain't no wall
No wall
No wall
No wall

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Someone post a picture of a guy with a really great ass (wearing clothes please)

Aw. There goes posting pics of Lenny Kravitz's ass in the "Again" video.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:50 (nineteen years ago) link

I love the variety of clothing in which women's asses (and, for that matter, men's) become ogleable. Running shorts on sunny days at the park, really nice skirts or suitpants that hug it just so, tight jeans, etc.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:50 (nineteen years ago) link

I did this like three times the other day, on Division (in your hip neighborhood, Nick and Sarah). Oh, that sweet indie coffee shop ass. I try to be sly about it, but I know deep down that there's no way to be sly about it. You kinda have to accept that you might get caught if you do it.

Classic, though.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:51 (nineteen years ago) link

I have had passing fantasies of getting dark shades and a guide dog, walking up to a woman with a bodacious booty and asking, "Would it offend you if I looked at your behind?"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:52 (nineteen years ago) link

BOOO on the indie coffee shop ass. between that and a mention of lenny kravitz, this thread is ruined for me.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Has anyone ever caught someone ogling the ass, and then to try and make up for their guilt, they somehow try to get you to agree that that ass is fine, either verbally or through facial/bodily expressions? This seems like something that might happen.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Archel's bum photo to thread!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:54 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost)It happens. It's pretty sad/cute.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:54 (nineteen years ago) link

no. when you ogle, you ogle alone.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:54 (nineteen years ago) link

yes. yes that's totally within the realms of plausibility. I'm plotting a graph about it right now.

xxxpost

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd like to preface this post by saying I am an extraordinarily happily married man with no thoughts nor plans of ever deviating from my wedded trajectory.

That said, there is a young woman who works in our PR department who seems to have a tendency to "go commando" and also leans forward in her chair (giving one and all frequent viewings of her splendid posterior cleavage). It makes trips to the fax machine on the other side of the floor all the more worthwhile.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Sarah, baseball players have great butts. And yes, the Kravitz butt...

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:55 (nineteen years ago) link

To be honest, I've never really been that charmed by asses as much as other people seem to be, but that doesn't mean I don't stare at 'em.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Why does that not surprise me?

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

How she's unaware of it (musn't she feel a draft?) is beyond me.

x-x-post

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I tend to stare when men have shabby asses more than nice ones (ie skinny emo boys whose ass is, in width, less than one of my legs.)

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd like to preface this post by saying I am an extraordinarily happily married man with no thoughts nor plans of ever deviating from my wedded trajectory.

I'll second that, except for the "married" part. But still. I would worry about myself if ass no longer caught my eye.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd like to preface this post by saying I am an extraordinarily happily married man with no thoughts nor plans of ever deviating from my wedded trajectory.

Haha! Oh, me too!

xp

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:57 (nineteen years ago) link

we ogle as we live, alone.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:57 (nineteen years ago) link

The great thing about ass-spotting is that the oglee can't see you (unless there's a mirror or some other reflective surface), and even if someone else sees you, they'll follow your gaze and they become ass-spotters too! So everyone's either complicit or victim. It's the perfect crime!

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 15:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I am guilty of ogling forearms and hands in restaurants, all the time.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know, Adam! You tell me!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:58 (nineteen years ago) link

'Ostentatious' doesn't have to mean pretentious. It can just mean being all obvious and showy about something. It kind of implies that the ogler is really just making a point of ogling for whatever reason, rather than because he is really captivated by the beauty of the oglee's ass. People who do this aren't just Dud, they are harassing scum. If the ogler really just can't help staring at a beautiful ass, and isn't intentionally perving, well it's not so bad, but it is still rude to stare.

x-posts

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:59 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know, Adam! You tell me!

I don't know, is it an indie thing? I imagine you more admiring the length of someone's eyelashes or the curve of their bangs.

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I do like the ass in a nude context, though, and Alex's mention of "splendid posterior cleavage" is rather enticing, but it's hard for me to get really worked up about an ass in jeans.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:00 (nineteen years ago) link

okay now that's just nasty

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh right, I'm so indie.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:01 (nineteen years ago) link

You said it!

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

I have never burst into a tapdance while singing "Everything's Comin' Up Roses" after seeing a particularly phat azz.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Hrrrmmmmm. Do I oogle dirty dronerock boys' asslessness on a regular basis?

Oh my lord, you bet I do.

The only thing that makes me against men ass-oogling women is that I have such a horrible, awful ass. Even when I was skinny, I had an awful flat indie-boy ass. Now I'm fat, it's just saggy and gross. Sigh.

So I guess I'm just jealous that I've never *been* ass-oogled.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it's done in a flattering and complimentary way, as opposed to a threatening way, then it's really just fine.

Sometimes guys stare at you and it's all "yeah, I look good!" and sometimes guys stare at you and you want to ask one of your friends to walk you back to your house, just in case.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

some asses look better nude and some look better clothed. i need to do more field research before I can report the exact types of ass that constitute each category.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

My girlfriend and I are equal opportunity oglers although we don't always have the same taste, so if you ever catch me holding her hand and looking at some guy's ass, it just means that we're comparing notes on posterior esthetics. She always points out the cute guys in a crowd, which is cool 'cause then I can ogle away guilt free (as long as I point them out to her).

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Sometimes guys stare at you and it's all "yeah, I look good!" and sometimes guys stare at you and you want to ask one of your friends to walk you back to your house, just in case.

yeah, context is everything.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I tend to stare when men have shabby asses more than nice ones (ie skinny emo boys whose ass is, in width, less than one of my legs.)

Seriously! What the hell are those kids eating / snorting? Or is the emunk lifestyle condusive to very active metabolisms that burn away any fat that might accentuate one's buttocks? It was bad enough I was rocking the Dockers around a throng of kids in Opeth hoodies and black fast-food slacks - I could fit TWO legs from an emunker into ONE leg of the pants I was wearing!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I kinda like getting caught. I mean as long as you're not doing the ass looking in an overly perverted manner (stopped dead in your tacks, drooling & playing with yourself) chances are the person is going to get a kick outta being checked out. Giving a smile as opposed to acting like you were doing something you shouldn't have is key.

lordy xposts!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:04 (nineteen years ago) link

John, clearly what you must do is run up and yank her pants down.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:04 (nineteen years ago) link

i went to a yankees/red sox game about ten years ago with The Girl I Lost My Virginity To and her family, and all she and her mom could talk about were the ballplayers' asses. For some reason they seemed particularly enamored with Mo Vaughn (?!?!?!?).

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Please note: the median age of the boys in question in my last post was probably 17. I am 64.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

TS: ogling vs. oogling?

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I am pretty certain I have the weirdest ass in the world. I would prefer that people just ignore it.

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Best of all is turning to check out the ass of the person you have just passed, and find them turning to (presumably) get an extra glimpse of your own hot glutecakes.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

ya get me sum yanks-sox tix while yr at it thx

― terry thatcher, Friday, 1 April 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Hmmm. (to Kenan.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

now giving a smile when caught, that seems creepy

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

What about making the sex-crazed wolf face?

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:07 (nineteen years ago) link

dude i can't get you tix! sheesh.

even if you have a nice ass.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:07 (nineteen years ago) link

jaymc why are you so...literal? i think that's what bugs people.

i mean "i like the ass in a naked context"? "naked context"? dude.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Mo Vaughn's got some dumps! Also, the bat wiggle.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

sorry "nude context." even weirder.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.a-bd.com/images/products/DEM_V15Z61_256.jpg

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Adam, when did I say I was indie?

http://www.art-ificial.com/indie/adam.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:09 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha!

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Seriously! What the hell are those kids eating / snorting? Or is the emunk lifestyle condusive to very active metabolisms that burn away any fat that might accentuate one's buttocks? It was bad enough I was rocking the Dockers around a throng of kids in Opeth hoodies and black fast-food slacks - I could fit TWO legs from an emunker into ONE leg of the pants I was wearing!

---

i do not appreciate this. i am skinny, i eat lots of disgusting and fatty things. my stomach is now sagging lack an old mans but still i am skinny elsewhere. i canna help it, pls do not make fun of my self?

ps what is up w/ girls w / absoluetly no ass whatsoever? you kno the type? for some reason they are always v hot otherwise. i feel sorry for them, when i see them.

pps SHUT UP CATHY

― terry thatcher, agian, Friday, 1 April 2005 16:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, it has to a well exicuted smile. Not a "hey there baby" smile so much as a "ya.. i was looking at it - you caught me" smile. I have spent 10 years perfecting it.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Amateurist, I'm not sure what you're accusing me of. I realize the ridiculousness of saying "nude context", but what else am I gonna say! And I don't think this kind of literalness, if that's what is, has anything to do with my recent Noise Board skirmishes (which is the only place I know where people have talked about being bugged by me).

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:24 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm drinking tea and I brought a Pavement CD to work with me. Oh, and I'm going to see Will Oldham play tonight. In an art gallery.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), April 15th, 2004.

― Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, it has to a well executed smile. Not a "hey there baby" smile so much as a "ya.. i was looking at it - you caught me" smile.
I have spent 10 years perfecting it.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:27 (nineteen years ago) link

(xp) Hahahaha! Nice work. That's the night I first saw Joanna Newsom!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Good on ya, Thermo. I seriously doubt I'd look anything but creeeepy if I tried that. I would just look away and turn red.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I envy you Thermo. I think the more I'd practice, the creepier it'd get. I'll just stick with the ol' finger through the hole-in-the-hand method.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha haha!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago) link

the ol' finger through the hole-in-the-hand method

plz leave Jesus out of this, k' thnx.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Hey, it's rude to be rude too.

x-posts.

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Jesus enters into things every time I perv on women. It cannot be avoided.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:32 (nineteen years ago) link

i like to try and guess the type of underwear a girl is wearing. If i'm ever out dancinc and a girl is wearing white trousers/skirt i ALWAYS dance close until i can confirm whether she is or isn't wearing panties.

It's just a game.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:33 (nineteen years ago) link

()ops are you catholic? just askin'.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Does the pope shit in the woods?

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I need to know before I commit.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:37 (nineteen years ago) link

okay, just wonderin'. it would be weird if jesus entered into things every time you perv on women, and you were like jewish or something.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Or a Buddhist.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:39 (nineteen years ago) link

J.C. gets around.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:40 (nineteen years ago) link

He's always hanging around with you when you perv on girls, for example.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I heard his movie SUCKED

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Oops almost made me snort some partially chewed carrots out of my nose.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago) link

No, that's J.C. Chavez.
xpost possibly

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

post pics of asses pls. why hasn't this happened yet?

― sugarpants: kind of blurry, kind of double (sugarpants), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.staylace.com/films/graphics/girl_help.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Because having the ass RIGHT THERE TO STARE AT IN PERPETUITY defeats the beauty of the sneaked gaze we're discussing.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Also, terry thatcher - my belly's fine, but look out below, because it's boom-bangin'. If you'd like to trade, txt me @ 800733.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:50 (nineteen years ago) link

when the technology arises that allows a 3-D ass in motion to be accurately shown over the internet, i will have no reason to leave the house.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:52 (nineteen years ago) link

This one's for John.

nsfw

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:54 (nineteen years ago) link

WE ARE NOW NOT SAFE FOR WORK FOLKS

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Any comments or info on those pants some women wear, that are so thin,aerial and mold to the body so well it seems they are not wearing pants at all, can almost look like bodypaint with a slight anti-gravity effect. A women I work with was wearing that yesterday, if she wears that again I'll must bypass the asexual environment we are in and tell her she's too much de sex :-)

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:56 (nineteen years ago) link

if you were gonna make the thread NSFW, you coulda at least chosen a bangin' ass.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:57 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost Sebastien HUMAN AFTER ALL

(pls don't make a shitty album a la daft punk, thx)

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Great.
xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 16:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Thank Andrew (or whomever) for the PICTURES OFF functionality.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:00 (nineteen years ago) link

No, no comments or info. I know nothing about women's pants.

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm sorry. I didn't think about it being all dirty. Such is my love for asses.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:01 (nineteen years ago) link

It's not dirty, Kenan. It's just NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:01 (nineteen years ago) link

o, how i love a thread about ass on a friday morning.

doing a google image search turns up quite a variety of results, but nothing that seems worth posting. someone more talented at searching should still come up with a pic for sarah!

(lotsa xposts, there was a poxy fule message before)

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Unless you're that one guy on ILM. Dude that does the p0rn0s.

xp

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Also, posting pics of ass for folks to oooh and ahhh at is like unearned peeking. It has to happen naturally - you can't MAKE it happen. Such gazing should occur as God intended - on the escalator, after lunch.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Serena Williams' ass: Bangin' and Worksafe

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:07 (nineteen years ago) link

I am not really one, for this. But I am indie. And have no ass.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:09 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost And doubles as a handy wood clamp!

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:09 (nineteen years ago) link

*nods at picture, winks, gives thumbs up*

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:09 (nineteen years ago) link

that ass is kind of intimidating.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Somehow I am reminded of the Eddie Murphy bit about anal sex with Mr. T. This is not sexy.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Kenan, I didn't think a thread about ass could be ruined, but you just about done it.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Serena's ass looks a bit too, I don't know, bubble-like to be sexy.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:14 (nineteen years ago) link

huh huh huh...

"wood"

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:14 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.hellomagazine.com/specials/gifts02/img/shakira.jpg

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Serena ruined it for me! Diff'rent strokes.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Serena has quite possibly the most ripped-yet-still-sexy body in the world. Holy shit.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I may have mentioned on another thread the girl at the gym I go to with the fantastic, almost cartoonish kick-pow ass. Well, she's been there EVERY SINGLE TIME I've been to the gym, on the stairstepper, trying to get rid of dat ass. As much as I've come to look forward to her presence there, I just want to say, "No, it's okay! Stay home and watch some tv! Embrace and love your ass for what it is!"

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Serena's body, full stop, is intimidating. I can't believe she wears those outfits on the court! It's like if Milton Berle delivered his comedy while wearing just a sock below the waist.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:15 (nineteen years ago) link

then uncle miltie's drag bits wouldn't work.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:16 (nineteen years ago) link

At first I thought this thread read,

'Guys who stare really ostentatiously at a girl's ass after she passes out on the sidewalk - C/D"

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:16 (nineteen years ago) link

PLEASE PEOPLE WHEN YOU POST PICTURES OF ASSES, PLS REMEMBER THE SHE-RA ASS PRINCIPAL, NEITHER KENAN NOR AUSTIN REMEMBERED THIS IMPORTANT THING.

http://www.cfhf.net/lyrics/images/she-ra.jpg

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Ooops -- what the hell would you rather she wear?

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Jordan tell her she can do sidebends or situps, but please don't lose that ass or however the lyrics go

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:17 (nineteen years ago) link

just a sock. xpost

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I am not familiar with this important-sounding principle. Please elaborate.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:18 (nineteen years ago) link

greatest thread ever, obv.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Tell her that Fonda ain't got no motor in the back of her Honda.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:19 (nineteen years ago) link

oh i'm not saying she shouldn't wear that. not at all! if it were up to me that'd be the required uniform for all women sports.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:20 (nineteen years ago) link

make reference to your anaconda and it's preferences.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Or quote some Spinal Tap.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:21 (nineteen years ago) link

This one's for John.

Hey, let's not turn my predilection for nudity into some weird FETISH, jeez!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:22 (nineteen years ago) link

"OH. MY. GOD. BECKY! LOOK AT HER BUTT"
http://www.coolsmartphone.com/wmv/movies/baby.gif

― sgs (sgs), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:23 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought the picture of She-Ra would explain it all.

oh and btw dudes stairmaster...ain't gonna make your ass flatter. That's like saying a dude doing bench presses is gonna make his pecs disappear.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:24 (nineteen years ago) link

I think we're forgetting how crucial *the walk* of a fine-assed speciman is. Because while teh ass itself is gorgeous, seeing it in motion is the straw that breaks my cameltoe. Or something.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:24 (nineteen years ago) link

"speciman"?

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Good point Jeanne

Also, although the movie looks terrible, the pink hot-pants wearing booty in the ads for "Beauty Shop" is very enticing.

I still don't understand the She-ra thing. Does it have to do with my magic sword?

Huh huh huh.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Special person. xpost

Jeanne's lyricism on these fine points is breathtaking.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:26 (nineteen years ago) link

someone more talented at searching should still come up with a pic for sarah!

I don't know what to search for, either, @ teh pants I described, yet I must know, because I think that would help me a lot to mathematically devised how sexy a lady'S bottom can be, and may use the equation daily or on a bi-weekly basis, in a gentleman way.

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

okay you're a robot again dude.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

A sex robot

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Jeanne's right, but the real secret is child-bearing hips, which are the greatest thing in the history of humanity.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I mean, even if there's not much ass there, big hips make up for it. at least to me. (obv. I am being very very very reductive here, even for me.)

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago) link

(Serena Williams is a GODDESS)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago) link

*whip sound fx*

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:32 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~elec201/History/PimpBot_01/pimpbot.jpg

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:32 (nineteen years ago) link

god yes. hips without the booty makes me cry and vice versa.
xxpost dan otm, matos sliding off. booty makes up for lack of hips, foo!!!1

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Serena's ass looks a bit too, I don't know, bubble-like to be sexy.

THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:34 (nineteen years ago) link

"speciman"?

It's Italian for astronaut.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:34 (nineteen years ago) link

There is no wrong way to appreciate the ass, people! We're losing focus on what matters!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:34 (nineteen years ago) link

oh, booty w/o hips is wonderful too! I just have an hourglass fixation.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:35 (nineteen years ago) link

yes bubbleness is a thing to be strived for.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:35 (nineteen years ago) link

booty with no hips is like saying hamburgers with no french fries, wtf.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:35 (nineteen years ago) link

as long as you say

oh my GOLLY that's a SWEET SWEET CAN

you're classic.

― f--gg (gcannon), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:36 (nineteen years ago) link

and let's hear it for thick legs.
David, there is. It's called frottaging.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:37 (nineteen years ago) link

No woman will get mad that you have checked out her behind if you dedicate a Hambone to its glory.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Oops, you wang, I was talking about showing appreciating via looking, not showing appreciation via baggy sweatpants!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:38 (nineteen years ago) link

(The Hambone Song)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:39 (nineteen years ago) link

hahahaha you called me a wang!

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:40 (nineteen years ago) link

where's that jpeg of the singer doing a hip-dip-motion, mic in hand? was all over this joint a few months back. Allyzay, you know the one.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:40 (nineteen years ago) link

I just felt it'd been far too long since la frottage was mentioned on ILX.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I have a very bubbly ass as it happens. The only time I can remember it being explicitly checked out was on Rampart St. in New Orleans (by men in dresses mostly). I was flattered.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:41 (nineteen years ago) link

You mean ALIZEE, Matos?

The only times I've gotten a complement on my derierre was by a homeless man and some girl I crushed on that was dating one of my friends &/or had no real interest in me.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:43 (nineteen years ago) link

it's interesting that the word "hip" appears in the word "hipsters," and yet, so many hipster girls are lacking hips.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Matos otm re: hips.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:45 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.u-blog.net/avatars/img/alizee.gif

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:45 (nineteen years ago) link

hypnotic

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:46 (nineteen years ago) link

i don't know if that's the one, but it'll do nicely!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:46 (nineteen years ago) link

A fat goth once pinched my ass in a club as I was walking by. I was horrified.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:47 (nineteen years ago) link

why?

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:47 (nineteen years ago) link

=8-O

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:48 (nineteen years ago) link

http://nf.wh3rd.net/files/alizee2.gif

http://nf.wh3rd.net/files/alizee5.gif

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:49 (nineteen years ago) link

I still have no idea what she's doing with her hands...is she trying to direct descending air traffic into her ass?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago) link

She's coaxing her coccyx to grow.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:53 (nineteen years ago) link

why?

1. I didn't find her attractive at all
2. She made this really creepy face when I turned around to look at her. Her eyes rolled back in her head and it was very ghoulish. For the wrestling fans, imagine the face that The Undertaker always makes and you're not far off.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I have a huge ass, but it's not cute at all. Nor have I ever noticed anyone checking it out.

Except for the ticket-tearer dude at the movie theatre who was like at least 60.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago) link

i for one welcome our eurabian assy overlords.

um xpost

― f--gg (gcannon), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:57 (nineteen years ago) link

best xpost ever!

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:58 (nineteen years ago) link

ahahaahaha!

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:58 (nineteen years ago) link

2. She made this really creepy face when I turned around to look at her. Her eyes rolled back in her head and it was very ghoulish. For the wrestling fans, imagine the face that The Undertaker always makes and you're not far off.

She went into anaphylactic shock... from TOO MUCH SEXY!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:59 (nineteen years ago) link

hey, are you guys gonna see "beauty shop" this weekend?

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:00 (nineteen years ago) link

that or Downfall, yes

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Who has a better ass, Hitler or Queen Latifah?

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Where is zis Untergang playing, adam?

xpost

Hitler's ass is ash, dude.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Apparently there is some HILARIOUS scene at the beginning of Beauty Shop where Q.L. says, "Damn, my ass looks big today" - then slaps it and says, "THATS THE WAY I LIKE IT!" or something equally GREAT. Taxi was awesome even though I never saw it.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Hitler has nasitol.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Queen Latifah doing this tired ass monologue is still better than another assy movie where Cameron Diaz shakes her severely un-ass like ass to a camp 80s hit.

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:09 (nineteen years ago) link

That second Alizee pic! I retract earlier statements.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Go see Downfall. No ass but seriously how the fuck are any of you going to sit through Beauty Shop? It looks AWFUL.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link

How could I forget Alizee's ass???

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Ally, you are crazy, it looks so good!

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I feel that Beauty Shop is the kind of movie I'm not even invited to.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I believe the quote from the movie is as follows:

Latifah: "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
Girl: "Yeah dey do."
Latifah: *slyly* "Gooood."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:30 (nineteen years ago) link

That sounds like a recent Twix commercial (featuring a girl and her beau), except the guy (who obv. wants to say "THEY SURE DO HUN") answers by stuffing Twix in his mouth & mumbling.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:40 (nineteen years ago) link

I cannot communicate with an ass. Perhaps this is a failing, on my part.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

maybe you just haven't found the right ass that would open up to you.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Funny, gabbneb, I remember you communicating with a lot of them during the election last fall.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION FOR GOATSCE PIX DAN PERRY

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Okay, I so was not going there.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:06 (nineteen years ago) link

(Because I was thinking tubgirl, hah)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know what tubgirl is but there is a certain pic i was expecting to surface sooner or later on this thread, Dan Perry.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Folks, if you like the dancing mami upthread then you need to watch some Univision. There's lots of that going on.


Que Viva El Culo!!

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:09 (nineteen years ago) link

don't ASK about tubgirl

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:10 (nineteen years ago) link

D: Doing a Lynndie

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:14 (nineteen years ago) link

girls who stare ostentatiously at a guy's "package" as he approaches her on the sidewalk ... C/D

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:15 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost

Um, excuse me but Sarah did ask upthread for pics of guys with nice asses and I have yet to see ANY getting posted, what's the deal ya'll?

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

I googled tubgirl. I hope you people are happy.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't find a picture of D3r3k J3t3r's ass to show Sarah!!

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I googled tubgirl. I hope you people are happy.

I am!

― The Ghost of HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:28 (nineteen years ago) link

You leave me no choice then.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:29 (nineteen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/dysign/ilx/dansbutts.jpg

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm so sorry, Drew.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:31 (nineteen years ago) link

POP ROCKS BUTT PLUG anyone?

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:32 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, the lack of man-ass here is really not cool, all things considered.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I googled tubgirl as well.

Fuck. You.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I was on the thread when tubgirl was posted. I remember the lines of the pic slowly coming up on my screen. Then I chickened out at the last second and Xed out of the page.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:37 (nineteen years ago) link

let us never speak of this again, PLEASE.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

(tubgirl, not ass. thanks for your kind consideration)

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, the lack of man-ass here is really not cool, all things considered

*sigh* Well, it is a thread about staring at a girl's ass.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

You all have never heard of tub-girl?

I should invite you all over to my lemon party sometime.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Sarah, trust me -- J3t3r has a fine fine fine ass. Google him and you'll see some side shots of him in action.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:40 (nineteen years ago) link

I wonder what kind of pants tubgirl wears, when she wears pants.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:40 (nineteen years ago) link

plastic, obv.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I think a person who starts a thread should have the ability to FOREVER DELETE the thread when it goes HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I can send you guys the pop rocks buttplug movie....

― absolutego (ex machina), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:46 (nineteen years ago) link

And the person who started ILX?

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:46 (nineteen years ago) link

TOM, DELETE ILX PLS

BUT LEAVE THE ALIZEE GIFS THX

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:49 (nineteen years ago) link

AND WHAT OF THE PEOPLE WHO CREATED DA INTERNET?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:50 (nineteen years ago) link

I blame that bastard God.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:51 (nineteen years ago) link

GOD, DELETE TECHNOLOGY PLS

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:54 (nineteen years ago) link

did another google search, with interesting results.

ihttp://www.angelfire.com/realm/buttism/Butt06.jpg


― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:02 (nineteen years ago) link

I went on a date a couple of weeks ago with a girl who kept checking out other girls' asses as they walked by. C in that context, at least.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Julia's butt links:

http://www.angelfire.com/realm/buttism/buttism04.html

― wow. (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Trying to get back on track...

R. Crumb to thread!

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Uh, I shouldn't have clicked on that at work, especially with such a slow computer. Close one.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:08 (nineteen years ago) link

sorry. clothed butts seem to be much more difficult to find on the internet...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Sorry! I WILL remember to mark these things in the future, or you can all beat me up.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Please mark NSFW!

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Carolina In The Morning" Based on the performance by Al Jolsen
"Her Vagina In The Morning" Parody by Cap'n X

Nothing could be finer,
Than to slip in Her Vagina, In The Morning..
Nothing could be sweeter,
Than to feed her with my Peter, In The Morning..

When the Morning Hornies,
Hang around my Dick
I love to look at Pornies,
And give her patch a lick..

Rolling with my Shirley,
When her wetness sparkles pearly, In The Morning..
I kiss her little Buttercup,
And feel her C-Spot flutter up, At Dawning..

Sometimes I have a Hard-On last,
For more than a day,
We Doggie Style,
And that's why I say,
Nothing could be finer,
Than to be in Her Vagina In The Mor-whore-whore-ning!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Nacho Cheese! (links not work-safe)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Those are great asses, Julia!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not especially an Ass Man, but I pride myself on positioning myself in the subway (offpeak) so I can use the windows' reflection to stare endlessly at a lovely man.

About once every 5 years, a straight guy catches me ogling him and says "How's it goin?" in an unmistakeable "gotcha" tone. Which just, y'know, makes him even hotter.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:18 (nineteen years ago) link

http://img70.exs.cx/img70/7869/Tia-booty-dance.gif

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Nice.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:20 (nineteen years ago) link

blaDOW

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002HHP.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Meh.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:31 (nineteen years ago) link

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000667PB.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Meh.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:42 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.angelfire.com/realm/buttism/Butt06.jpg

― absolutego (ex machina), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.howardstern.com/04/01/31/18b.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I take it back. There are some hella fine clothed asses on this thread.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

I just love skinny white girls, is all. It's not about the ass.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:49 (nineteen years ago) link

we need to restore the proper gender balance though . . .

http://www.uidaho.edu/clubs/womens_rugby/RugbyRoot/rugby/Action/Photos/England_scrum.jpeg

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:50 (nineteen years ago) link

cute face on the Stern Girl.

Those two album pictures kind of remind me of all the brothers on the streets of NYC who check out bitches' asses no matter how big/misshapen they are -- and I'm convinced it's not because they're freakishly big and stuff. It's like, dude, have some taste; or they're behaving how they think they should be behaving rather than what they actually LIKE. I refuse to believe 85% of New York males are as ass obsessed as they show themselves to be.

I am a leg freak, myself.

< / tmi >

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:51 (nineteen years ago) link

ever watch "Chicken, Booze & Booty" on BCAT?

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 April 2005 21:08 (nineteen years ago) link

OH GOD I HAVE. IT'S THE MOST STERIOTYPICALLY BLACK URBAN THING IN EXISTANCE.

― Jimmy Mod Knows You Eat Your Own Farts (ModJ), Friday, 1 April 2005 21:12 (nineteen years ago) link

juicy rugby ass. hello!

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 1 April 2005 21:34 (nineteen years ago) link

http://store1.yimg.com/I/2for10_1794_8289396

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago) link

How come there isn't a picture of chicken on there?

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 1 April 2005 21:46 (nineteen years ago) link

snug

http://www.themat.com/specialevents/2005/collegepostseason/big10/photos/014.jpg

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 1 April 2005 22:34 (nineteen years ago) link

i very much like the way this thread has turned out.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 1 April 2005 22:53 (nineteen years ago) link

I've got the images turned off but I'm guessing...it's gone gay?

― Airtube (nordicskilla), Friday, 1 April 2005 22:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I've got the images turned off but I'm guessing...it's gone gay?

hell yah!! gayer than one of harvey feirstein's plays!

http://www.reachm.com/amstreet/images/savagead.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 23:26 (nineteen years ago) link

you mean asstentatiosly?

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 1 April 2005 23:43 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think girls know that guys do this! Because I, a girl, was one day walking down the street and passed a queue of stopped cars. Then I had to turn around and check something, and I saw a guy in a car staring right at that spot you mentioned above! And he was so embarrassed. And I was like, HEY, are guys doing this ALL THE TIME?

― anony, Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:15 (nineteen years ago) link

and the answer is: yes! they are!

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:16 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, if you got a nice ass!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Butts a-poppin!!!

massively NSFW image

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:24 (nineteen years ago) link

photoshopped goatse.cx sort of image

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:24 (nineteen years ago) link

XYPOST: HEY JORDAN IF YOU LOOK REAL CLOSE, THERE'S A PIECE OF CHICKEN IN BETWEEN HER ASS CHEEKS.

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:35 (nineteen years ago) link

ewwwww

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:42 (nineteen years ago) link

oh sweet christ that's nasty....

I have to admit I've found myself guilty of the charge of staring at a sweet booty. I am definitely an "ass man" [which is why I'm still in love with luna after the underwear thread :) ]

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:49 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.babinszki.com/chins/Img0020-bigclip-bish-n-mom.jpg

slow motion 4 me

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 00:51 (nineteen years ago) link

NSFW image

mommy whats myspace?

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 01:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Dude, why the fuck did you need to go and do all that?

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 2 April 2005 02:24 (nineteen years ago) link

IF YOU ONLY KNEW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND YOUR BACK

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Saturday, 2 April 2005 02:33 (nineteen years ago) link

and to think I actually felt bad earlier about posting a bare ass.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Saturday, 2 April 2005 02:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Um that last ones fuckin dodgy, shouldnt a mod be cleaning up here?

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 2 April 2005 03:10 (nineteen years ago) link

It's a mother and son: what could be more wholesome?

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Saturday, 2 April 2005 03:39 (nineteen years ago) link

is it time to post the calvin & hobbes slash fiction?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 2 April 2005 03:48 (nineteen years ago) link

let's all shine tonight

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Saturday, 2 April 2005 03:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Why is kenan's ass less NSFW than my gallery of delights? I am CLEARLY being profiled. You guys are such chicken littles.

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 05:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Btdubs, I just filmed my butthole in the mirror and overdubbed Bruce Willis lines from other movies over it. Stay tuned for more!!

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 05:12 (nineteen years ago) link

leave my ass out of it. And keep it way the fuck away from that steak knife.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Saturday, 2 April 2005 05:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Your ass is the fulcrum upon which our messageboard-utopia rests.

― Cabaret Voltron (PUNXSUTAWNEY PENIS), Saturday, 2 April 2005 05:29 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, the lack of man-ass here is really not cool, all things considered.

Get one (1) webcam behind thee.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 2 April 2005 06:18 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, the lack of man-ass here is really not cool, all things considered.

hey, i already exposed my white ass for the underwear thread--time to pass the torch.

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Sunday, 3 April 2005 05:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Je4nne OTM about Derek Jeter!

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Monday, 4 April 2005 03:29 (nineteen years ago) link

two years pass...

C. I'm the master of it

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:04 (sixteen years ago) link

D. No you're not

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I have the trophy to prove it

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:09 (sixteen years ago) link

So you're the master of putting on a show for other men to prove that you're not gay, which suggests you may actually be gay. Congrats.

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Hrrrmmmmm. Do I oogle dirty dronerock boys' asslessness on a regular basis?

Oh my lord, you bet I do.

The only thing that makes me against men ass-oogling women is that I have such a horrible, awful ass. Even when I was skinny, I had an awful flat indie-boy ass. Now I'm fat, it's just saggy and gross. Sigh.

So I guess I'm just jealous that I've never *been* ass-oogled.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it's done in a flattering and complimentary way, as opposed to a threatening way, then it's really just fine.

Sometimes guys stare at you and it's all "yeah, I look good!" and sometimes guys stare at you and you want to ask one of your friends to walk you back to your house, just in case.

-- Masonic Cathedral (kate), Friday, April 1, 2005 11:02 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

oogle

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:14 (sixteen years ago) link

So you're the master of putting on a show for other men to prove that you're not gay, which suggests you may actually be gay. Congrats

fucking idiot

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:15 (sixteen years ago) link

seriously though what a dumb point to make. oogling somebody oft goes unnoticed by teh general public, I'm not one of those jackasses who sits on the side of the road whistling and catcalling at people.

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:16 (sixteen years ago) link

ostentatious – adjective
1. characterized by or given to pretentious or conspicuous show in an attempt to impress others: an ostentatious dresser.
2. (of actions, manner, qualities exhibited, etc.) intended to attract notice: Lady Bountiful's ostentatious charity.

??? I think this is done by people unaware of their clearly hypnotized state of staring, not for show ie in an ostentatious fashion

― Abbott, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:19 (sixteen years ago) link

why revive a thread about looking at butts?

― Abbott, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:20 (sixteen years ago) link

abbott, start a photo thread about butt-gazing

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:20 (sixteen years ago) link

why revive a thread about looking at butts?

Because they look intersting

― Heave Ho, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:21 (sixteen years ago) link

Oops A in NYC made this point at the v start (abt the adverb use)

― Abbott, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:21 (sixteen years ago) link

remy, this is a pic I made for some thread Tuomas had about staring at an ass he thought was that of a woman but turned out to be the ass of a man.

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f86/igotabeefpastry/yutomas.gif

A cycle of assful gender confusion.

― Abbott, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:23 (sixteen years ago) link

WOW^^^^

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:24 (sixteen years ago) link

LOL

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:24 (sixteen years ago) link

All asses are oogled at some point. Even if it happens under false pretense (ZOMG I oogled boy butt! R I Hom o? I didn't mean it!) it still counts.

xpost

my goodness, that rocks, Abbutt.

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:26 (sixteen years ago) link

rofl

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:26 (sixteen years ago) link

new wallpaper

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 04:26 (sixteen years ago) link

sorry ladies but the bad habits of a lifetime die hard esp now that Im officially a lecherous old coot

― m coleman, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:42 (sixteen years ago) link

not really a winter sport, this.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:44 (sixteen years ago) link

ski pants

― darraghmac, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I do this more than I should, and I don’t really see a problem with it. What’s wrong with appreciating a nice ass, you can appreciate a pretty face and look a few times at it so why not any other part of the body?

― not_goodwin, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:48 (sixteen years ago) link

oh sweet christ that's nasty....

I have to admit I've found myself guilty of the charge of staring at a sweet booty. I am definitely an "ass man" [which is why I'm still in love with luna after the underwear thread :) ]

-- jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Saturday, April 2, 2005 12:49 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

― latebloomer, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:55 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.tatteredcoat.com/images/heat-pacino-buggy.jpg

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Ay dios mio.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 13 December 2007 10:59 (sixteen years ago) link

I like how everyone just starts using the word "oogling" as if it's normal.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 13 December 2007 11:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Oogle Maps

― blueski, Thursday, 13 December 2007 11:18 (sixteen years ago) link

"oogle" just sounds right.

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 13 December 2007 18:44 (sixteen years ago) link

"dirty dronerock boys"

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 18:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Me and my coworker did this at the local university today after we unloaded a gigantic automated dishwasher/conveyor thing from their cafeteria. We could stare at ass with impunity because of the blue collar nature of our business there.

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:09 (sixteen years ago) link

This is a dud to me. I feel really uncomfortable when I pass people and can see them already turning their heads, or tell from their voices that they've changed direction. It used to make me want to disappear, now I only want to disappear for a few seconds and then I get mad. At least my reaction time is improving.

Of course I'm wearing a miniskirt today so obv this is all situational and frankly if the ogglee NOTICES in the first place you're doing it wrong.

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I am a terrible person

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:12 (sixteen years ago) link

It's always pleasant when you pass someone on the street, turn around for another look and find them staring back at you.

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:13 (sixteen years ago) link

I have always, always been the worst, most unconsciously rude oogler ever, butts boobs legs you name it

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh hmmm. I never turn around for another look, that might be part of the problem!

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:14 (sixteen years ago) link

xxpost OTM

― dan m, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:14 (sixteen years ago) link

much easier to ogle without being noticed now that I'm not near-sighted.

― milo z, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:16 (sixteen years ago) link

You sort of want to go up and say "Hi! Let's bump bellies."

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Laser-enhanced ooglevision

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:17 (sixteen years ago) link

oogle is the worst word ('word') ever

― milo z, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:19 (sixteen years ago) link

I am very rarely "caught" doing this, or so I think. It makes me feel terrible when I am.

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:21 (sixteen years ago) link

I rarely catch myself doing it, but I know for a fact the ladies are aware of how much of an asshole I am, constantly. I'm like phineas gage or something

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:23 (sixteen years ago) link

hey, i already exposed my white ass for the underwear thread--time to pass the torch.

-- jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Sunday, April 3, 2005 12:06 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

dear god in heaven

― sanskrit, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:25 (sixteen years ago) link

holy shit i just googled phineas gage that shit is sick

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:34 (sixteen years ago) link

There is an inscription on the rod that reads, "This is the bar that was shot through the head of Mr. Phineas P. Gage at Cavendish, Vermont, Sept. 14, 1848." But someone got the date wrong; the accident was on September 13, not 14. He fully recovered from the injury & deposited this bar in the Museum of the Medical College of Harvard University. Phineas P. Gage Lebanon Grafton Cy N-H Jan 6 1850. [9] Gage's skull, as well as the rod that pierced it, is currently part of the permanent exhibition at Harvard Medical School's Warren Anatomical Museum in Boston, Massachusetts.

^^^ field trip

ps i try not to do this lord how i try

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:39 (sixteen years ago) link

Well I'll tell ya it's better than sitting down every morning next to a girl on the bus and interrupting whatever delightful book she is reading by both oogling AND saying really loudly, "SO YOU'RE READING AGAIN HUHHH?"

Fuck, man! Leave me alone!

Ass staring is clearly done best (with the most secrecy and detail) when walking BEHIND a person. How do you tell someone walking the other direction even has a fantastic ass?

― Abbott, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Books are a social shield to prevent interaction, is this not common knowledge HUHHHH?

― Abbott, Thursday, 13 December 2007 19:52 (sixteen years ago) link

haha how did i not know about phineas gage? there's enough material there for a half-decent biopic

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Dudes srsly field trip, I have spare beds and couches and futons!

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:21 (sixteen years ago) link

half-decent biopic

i know i watched an educational film on the brain in HS that featured a REENACTMENT of mr gage's fateful day

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

rugged shit

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

I saw the same film. BOOM!!!

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:25 (sixteen years ago) link

I think it was in Human Physiology, junior year. That was seriously my favorite class in high school, I think.

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:26 (sixteen years ago) link

boom goes the dynamite

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:26 (sixteen years ago) link

haha "list of people i wish forceful dynamite-powered iron-bar lobotomisation upon", make it happen ITR

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

it was gunpowder you fucks

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:29 (sixteen years ago) link

I am meme-linking, Mr Angry.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Gage was foreman of a crew of railroad construction workers who were excavating rocks to make way for the railroad track. This involved drilling holes deep into the boulders and filling them with dynamite. A fuse was then inserted, and the entrance to the hole plugged with sand, so that the force of the explosion would be directed into the boulder. This was done with a crow bar-like tool called a tamping iron.

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:31 (sixteen years ago) link

whoops dynamite was invented in 1866

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:33 (sixteen years ago) link

I always assume guys who do this, esp so OTHERS will notice them watching, are tinily hung.

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:35 (sixteen years ago) link

btw my friend has a story which is far grosser than gage's.

apparently his old maths teacher used to be a policeman, and on his first night of duty he was patrolling a warehouse when he heard a loud bang, and then a lot of screaming.

he went inside.

apparently the night security there had gotten bored, and had been heating up a load of large metal barrels until the lids exploded off and flew away. unfortunately for one man, the lid hadn't flown away quite in the direction he'd thought, hadn't gone out perpendicular to its resting plane, but had flown up, edgeways. This man, as it turns out, had been leaning over the barrel as it blew. The lid, sharp and metallic, and travelling at immense speed, sheared his entire face and the front of his brain off, to the back of the eyeballs. when the policeman found him, he was convulsing on the floor, shortly to die of blood loss. he entertained the possibility of finishing him off, but decided against it.

if the guy had somehow lived...i shudder.

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:36 (sixteen years ago) link

But in those brief moments before he died, did he show a radical change in personality and/or behavior?

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:38 (sixteen years ago) link

He probably showed a greater propensity to gurgle inanely and feel for non-existent noses.

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:39 (sixteen years ago) link

i do not believe that story for one second

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:40 (sixteen years ago) link

After that second, it's Gullible City.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:41 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, I'd know if this guy was lying, and maths teachers aren't the sort to indulge in elaborate life-experience fantasy.

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:42 (sixteen years ago) link

because they are so fulfilled with their career choice?

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:43 (sixteen years ago) link

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:43 (sixteen years ago) link

I'd expect reams of bullshit waffle from an English teacher, or a historian, but maths teachers seem to be fairly happy with their lot, and fairly unmotivated to make stuff up about their lives. The guy said he trusted him, and I trust the guy. Do you trust me? :D

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:45 (sixteen years ago) link

http://gss.sd42.ca/images/pagemaster/math_professor_algebra.gif.jpg

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:46 (sixteen years ago) link

BULLSHIT WAFFLE

1 half-assed story
1 cup of POPPAGE

Stir until well blended, serve over crushed ice with salmon calzone

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:47 (sixteen years ago) link

How do you tell someone walking the other direction even has a fantastic ass?

you can't be sure, but sometimes there is a lot of ass potential and i'm too curious to not turn around. :/

― Jordan, Thursday, 13 December 2007 20:47 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^True. I am chronic ass-starer. But I am very, very stealth.

― will, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:04 (sixteen years ago) link

oh god gold pants why did you wear gold pants to work?

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't really understand ass-love that much. I mean, is the whole point that it's enticing because of what it's not (ie: what's on the other side)??
-- Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, April 1, 2005 3:37 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh sarah sit down before me and i shall tell you about ass...
-- ()ops (()()ps), Friday, April 1, 2005 3:38 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

oops OTM

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:06 (sixteen years ago) link

is it more or less acceptable to oogle if you're also singing "Ms. New Booty"?

― milo z, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:07 (sixteen years ago) link

it is the back vadge

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:08 (sixteen years ago) link

die

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:08 (sixteen years ago) link

SO ANYWAY

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:11 (sixteen years ago) link

Euurgh

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:11 (sixteen years ago) link

uk girls do this all the time. they peek a look at your crotch too.

― pc user, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:13 (sixteen years ago) link

haha i tell a story about some guy getting his face ripped off and you're all like 'huh', then i say 'vadge' and it's off to the emergency eyewash station we go

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

yes

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

It's not the "vadge" part as much as it is the accompanying "back".

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

someone start a "Rolling Louis Jagger turn off the computer and go to bed" thread

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

i would have preferred 'north korea of the body'

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

No way, it's the Virgin Islands of the body.

Only sometimes it's the Haiti of the body.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:16 (sixteen years ago) link

I am way more a face and hands person than any other body part, just for the record; I look at shoulders and arms. Fairly harmless, as gazing goes.

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:16 (sixteen years ago) link

pfft it was merely a response to sarah's 2-year-old claim, and a cheeky reversal of 'front bottom'. it's far more beautiful, and thus more sscrilegious to profane, than even the shapeliest of vulvae.

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:19 (sixteen years ago) link

go to bed

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:19 (sixteen years ago) link

http://blogidaho.biz/bighole.jpg

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

"Oh my, that's the shapeliest vulva I've ever seen!" *poppage*

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:23 (sixteen years ago) link

i shall to Lethe go, chew upon my bolster, and conjure cataracts of vulva. stick that in your riese-moraine and smoke it.

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:24 (sixteen years ago) link

get a girlfriend

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:25 (sixteen years ago) link

"Oh my, that's the shapeliest vulva I've ever seen!" *poppage*

^^^^ genuine Hitler quote

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:26 (sixteen years ago) link

das ist der shapeliest Vulva, den ich überhaupt gesehen habe

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:27 (sixteen years ago) link

As long as it's in German I can't understand it, so that's fine.

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:28 (sixteen years ago) link

In fact if LJ could only post in German that would be awesome.

― Laurel, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:28 (sixteen years ago) link

dreams of sugar cum fairies dance in his head

― remy bean, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:29 (sixteen years ago) link

this is probably the first time on a non-aryan power internet discussion forum that a poster has been asked to be more like hitler

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

haha that would be +1 on killfiling

i would translate (x) poster into (y language), set to it folks

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

einekleine pöppage

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

ich habe ein fückwant

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Das ist ein turbotcalzone deliciousen

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:32 (sixteen years ago) link

It's always pleasant when you pass someone on the street, turn around for another look and find them staring back at you.

-- Oilyrags, Thursday, December 13, 2007 7:13 PM

for real though!

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Englander futbol mit Capello ist ein drei-funf-zwei formatten, danke

would translate ILX System into Latin

― Just got offed, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Didn't you have some cloudy pussy fantasies to attend to?

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:37 (sixteen years ago) link

I have complimented many women on theirs vulva shapely. Door a arrossimento to its guancica, for knowing that its vulva so as to is appreciated. What live!

― rodman, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Thank you, Roberto Benigni.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

valuable new poster!

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:41 (sixteen years ago) link

rodman what do you think of crutis's vulva

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:42 (sixteen years ago) link

ysi?

― gff, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:42 (sixteen years ago) link

crust!

― rodman, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:44 (sixteen years ago) link

crust-punk ass - never seen a good one yet

― milo z, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:46 (sixteen years ago) link

haha that is true

― wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:49 (sixteen years ago) link

is it more or less acceptable to oogle if you're also singing "Ms. New Booty"?

-- milo z, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:07 (48 minutes ago) Link

I constantly find myself humming "Hiii there, how are things? etc..."

I am not proud.

― will, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:59 (sixteen years ago) link

p.s. guys I didn't point out "oogle" so that you all could start using it

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:01 (sixteen years ago) link

im going to oogle you, curt1s, you dirty dronerock boy,

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:03 (sixteen years ago) link

so dirty and so droney

― max, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:03 (sixteen years ago) link

ughhhhhh

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:06 (sixteen years ago) link

this is revenge for the excelsior thread title isn't it

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:07 (sixteen years ago) link

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2007/01/thrustpac_450x335.jpg

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:07 (sixteen years ago) link

http://i22.tinypic.com/2elbayu.gif

― kenan, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:07 (sixteen years ago) link

nope, still counter-clockwise

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:09 (sixteen years ago) link

I constantly find myself humming "Hiii there, how are things? etc..."

I am not proud.

-- will, Thursday, December 13, 2007 9:59 PM (

lol i have also done this

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:13 (sixteen years ago) link

http://i9.tinypic.com/6u42rdd.jpg

― StanM, Thursday, 13 December 2007 22:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Well I'll tell ya it's better than sitting down every morning next to a girl on the bus and interrupting whatever delightful book she is reading by both oogling AND saying really loudly, "SO YOU'RE READING AGAIN HUHHH?"

In addition to sounding annoying, that's one hell of a non-starter line.

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 06:58 (sixteen years ago) link

"SO YOU'RE READING AGAIN HUHHH?"

"MUST BE A GOOD BOOK."

"YOU WERE READING WHEN I SAW YOU BEFORE."

"IS THAT THE SAME BOOK FROM BEFORE?"

"MUST BE GOOD."

"DONT MIND ME. I WAS JUST OOGLING."

"OOGLE OOGLE OOGLE."

― "Rumsfeld", Tuesday, 18 December 2007 07:44 (sixteen years ago) link

The Ralph Wiggum Guide to Picking Up Chicks.

― nickn, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 08:02 (sixteen years ago) link

I had a 4-hour layover in SLC last week, and that airport still tries to charge you actual money for wifi, so without anything to read I was stuck people-watching to pass the time. Anyway, there was this young couple there. She was a cute redhead, he was whatever cute redheads go for these days, and he could not have been any more obvious about checking out other girls. Redhead would get up and wander off, and he'd look around and stare at other women, and then when the redhead came back into view, the dude would alternate between watching her walk back to him and checking out some other girl. After a while, his laser-guided bobble-ogle head became like my own supplementary cutie detector. I felt kinda bad for the redhead, though.

― Kerm, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 08:09 (sixteen years ago) link


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