another maniacal Armond White review, this time "Fahrenheit 9/11"

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There's probably a good point or two buried in here, but who can tell?

FILM OF THE FASCIST LIBERAL
Michael Moore mistakes image for message, panders, gloats.

By Armond White


Before Quentin Tarantino and his fellow Cannes jurors passed judgment on President Bush by awarding Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 the Palme d'Or (thus inflating the film's importance), they should have queried themselves: Have they done anything in their own films to tame the arrogance of a man, a moviegoer, like Bush? Not much in the careers of American jurors Tarantino, Kathleen Turner and Jerry Schatzberg encourages audiences to think or behave politically. American cinema in the Tarantino years has pandered to violence, racism, greed and self-satisfaction. It's not impossible that the torturers at Abu Ghraib—including even Saddam Hussein's own precedent-setting torturers—were inspired by the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs. QT made sadism hip and sent it 'round the world. Now we're stuck in the middle of a global crisis for which neither he, nor Michael Moore, have an answer.

To pretend that Fahrenheit 9/11 is a work of art is disingenuous. Moore himself is part of the punditocracy that, like unscrupulous politicians, solicits trite sentiment. His exploitative title doesn't measure temperature; it disgraces that sorrowful date just to inflame liberal guilt. For Moore, guilt covers everything that stemmed from Bush's election and is only eased by blame. Moore doesn't separate the election from the terrorists' attacks or from the war on Iraq. As in Bowling for Columbine, he lines up unrelated points for a domino effect of dissatisfaction. This is not historical context; it's a harangue.

But in the Tarantino era, film folk seldom look at movies intelligently—or politically. They become dupes for the sarcastic invective Moore offers in place of argument. His supposed "coup" of Bush visiting a Florida elementary school after being informed of the first World Trade tower hit turns out a dud. Moore times Bush's visit with a digital counter but clearly we're not watching Bush wallow in playtime or indecision. It's seven minutes of the most powerful man in the world suffering. He's miserably distracted. Moore's insensitivity—certain to the point of hostility that he alone is right—amounts to liberalism with a fascist face.

The orgy of self-congratulation at Cannes proved film culture has lost the imperative of humane understanding. The lunacy was repeated stateside with local acclaim for Jehane Noujaim's specious Control Room. Apparently, the double whammy of 9/11 and the Iraq War has so rattled modern moral conscience that American self-hatred is the new documentary mode. No one required Noujaim to trace the history of Al Jazeera or examine its standard content. Her celebration of Al Jazeera (as opposition to any media representing American interests) was carelessly praised as some kind of palliative: "The number one must-see film of the summer." "An essential movie [that] not only goes through the looking glass, but turns the mirror back on us."

As Kevin Costner worried in JFK, we are indeed through the looking glass now. Political paranoia has turned critics and festival jurors into small-minded esthetes who prize their own objection to the Iraq War over their obligation to truth. Through Noujaim's ineptitude (or is she just biased?) the propagandists of Al Jazeera are defended simply to please Bush's opponents, those willing to believe that Americans are always wrong, always to blame, never to be trusted. It's unbearable to sit in a Control Room audience full of masochistic Americans lapping up the calumny.

Of course, Noujaim heroizes journalists, the most duplicitous of modern professionals, on both sides of the war. She humors the U.S. military spokesman at Centcom in Baghdad as well as the very Westernized Al Jazeera employees. Her naive suggestion that journalists are apolitical matches Moore's disregard of journalistic accountability. (That's one way to guarantee good reviews.) She cannily keeps her distance from those Al Jazeera employees who wear robes and turbans. Noujaim wants to make Arab reporters seem just like ours—an elite class—so she refrains from asking about their politics. This ruse of journalistic fairness and impartiality links Control Room to Fahrenheit: They're sham docs for gullible viewers. Both films use non-inquiring "entertainment" devices (talking heads as celebrities) at precisely the moment we should be looking at the world more seriously, delving into personal motive.

The corruption of documentary with entertainment is at the heart of Michael Moore's style—it's also his failing. Cheap, easy laughs don't constitute an argument; like pity and self-righteous anger, it all stems from simplistic outrage. His best moment shows a phalanx of black congresspersons protesting the 2000 presidential election and being undermined by the Senate (Al Gore presiding). By targeting Bush, Moore absolves all those bad senators of their responsibilities.

But Moore neglects the real journalistic work of seeking out why this intramural betrayal happened. He's after an effect, not the facts. Difficult, gut-twisting and disillusioning as politics are, Moore never inquires into the human basis of political behavior. Such revelations once distinguished the documentary as an art form; now the genre is merde. There's no insight into the political process or why politicians routinely cheat their constituency—such as Democratic congressman John Conyers Jr. admitting, "We don't read most of the bills!" Thus Moore lets a soundbite explain why the Patriot Act passed.

As facile as the makers of The Blair Witch Project and Capturing the Friedmans, Moore's doc method avoids complexity. He makes trite points (Bush golfing, politicos putting on make-up) that vitiate his professed seriousness. Like Noujaim, Moore knows that his pseudo-serious audience doesn't want debate. Their mandate is for superficial provocation: Slam Bush and the war so we don't have to ponder our own capitalism or unwillingness to fight.

Neither Fahrenheit nor Control Room tell us what life is like now, in what the West knows as the Terrorist Millennium. Glossing the issues of "a staged war," emphasizing Bush's incompetence and the mendacity of his cabinet (even Noujaim offers distanced ridicule of Bush policies) is, essentially, an ad hominem attack, not ideological or moral reasoning. Merde. These filmmakers practice the lazy tactic of cutting from an inane Bush speech to screaming, injured Iraqi women or children. This obfuscates the war with sentimentality. (Not just morally offensive editing, it hides behind the notion that killing men is an acceptable consequence of war but only a monster would harm women and children.) Moore and Noujaim's "entertaining" sallies (gotcha shots of Bush père et fils shaking hands with Saudi business partners; grieving mothers of U.S. soldiers) might be enough to sway the inattentive, but both movies leave important questions unasked.

Moore would have audiences believe that the security alert codes are entirely a Pentagon hoax (although he doesn't investigate why the national media goes along with it). Noujaim suggests there's no bias in Al Jazeera's rhetoric of images and speeches. (She even accepts a reporter's disdain for the Kurds in Iraq). Each pompous filmmaker ignores the threat of fanaticism—and the reality of American panic—because Iraq is their only cause. They're incapable of substantive political discourse. Moore likes to put bigwigs on the spot (including Ricky Martin and a gum-smacking Britney Spears!) but he never interviews people who can articulate an opposing point of view. In his hypocrisy, he chides the corporate greed behind Halliburton and the Carlyle Group as if it were alien to American custom.

This obtuse journalism also occurs in Control Room. Most reviewers quoted an Al Jazeera exec saying he wanted his children to be educated in America, but none observed his snide, middle-class contempt. (Was it too much like their own?) A good example of the complication that these movies skirt is the same exec's anger over a U.S. missile strike that hit Al Jazeera headquarters killing a correspondent and cameraman. "This is a crime," he says. "It must be avenged!" Noujaim accepts his threat as understandable rage, rather than demand journalistic integrity. No American reviews noticed this.

These films play too loosely with the passions aroused by the war, pandering to liberal Americans' kick-me guilt. That partly explains the Cannes debacle—many liberals simply want their prejudices entertained. This reduces the Palm d'Or to the level of the MTV Movie Awards.

Good, because Cannes has been on an anti-American spree since lauding Gus Van Sant's Elephant. Such grandstanding political gestures don't address popular cinema's decline—proof that people no longer recognize quality or care that a documentary be sound and informative. Few connect the ideology of pop culture to real-world political activity.

Jean-Luc Godard once famously said, "Every edit is a political act." But Godard's denunciation of Fahrenheit 9/11 was ignored by a U.S. media fawning over its Cannes victory (the latest Harvey Weinstein promotional stunt, facilitated by stooge Quentin). No major American media outlets quoted Godard: "Moore doesn't distinguish between text and image. He doesn't know what he's doing."

This time, Jean-Luc is only half right. Moore very deliberately mixes tv drama and movie clips into his rhetorical hodge-podge (referencing Bonanza, Dragnet and song clips by REM). These tropes probably made Tarantino delirious. Fahrenheit seizes upon the mess of postmodern capitalist pop only to misread how pop trivia malnourishes the moral lives of audiences—those who are then sent off to war, as well as Beltway politicians and Wall Street bankers who have the privilege to dismiss pop as escapism.

That's what Godard meant about distinguishing text and image. In Moore's doc style, images have only superficial, convenient meaning and no historical resonance—unlike Peter Davis' 1974 Vietnam doc Hearts and Minds, which used Hollywood clips (Bataan) to show the ideological indoctrination of pop culture. Davis suggested that a generation was fooled into romanticizing war and xenophobia. That was part of how Vietnam protestors understood their experience. Moore, being culturally ignorant, stands on shaky ground when he ridicules GIs who listen to pop on bombing missions, never respecting their cultural conditioning or examining their sense of patriotism. He's as clueless as those critics who lambasted David O. Russell's Desert Storm satire Three Kings. (A neglect that helped condition the country to continue Bush Sr.'s war.)

Moore doesn't understand the link between the Entertainment Industrial Complex and the Military Industrial Complex, and his dumbed-down method of turning political tragedy into comedy is part of the problem. It's a class vice in which the media elite can exercise disdain while pitying the underclass who must pay the price. Fahrenheit 9/11 becomes infuriating every time Moore uses a poor or black person to symbolize Bush's homeland victims (the same arrogance the Coen brothers pointed out with the Mother Jones gag in The Ladykillers). He returns to Flint, MI (the setting for Roger & Me) for sociological cheap shots but misses the real story of the post-9/11 experience—such as life among Muslim immigrants in Detroit where suspicion and opportunism mix. Or even the middle-American discomfort explained in Neil Young's Greendale, a vastly more revealing film.

Propaganda like Fahrenheit 9/11 won't help today's moviegoers gain political insight. Moore's condescension settles on young GIs wounded in Iraq, now in a veterans' hospital (where they face lost funding and benefits). One vet gives Moore what he wants: "I'm going to be very active this year and make sure that the Democrats take power." We're not supposed to remember the opening sequence that showed Democrats complicit with Bush's ascension and the invasion of Iraq. Moore, as desultory as Jerry Bruckheimer, simply wants to get a rise out of us. Like Tarantino, he's uninterested in making movies that show how the world really works.

Fahrenheit 9/11 and Control Room leave viewers susceptible to the deceptions of politicians and media charlatans. Exploiting the Iraq invasion and American political distress is a form of war profiteering. Documentaries this poor are no better than pulp fiction.


(so not only are these films bad but they are partly responsible for murder and torture worldwide, etc....what a scumbag)

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 17:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Armond White mistakes ass for hole in ground, shits, giggles.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh, my. "The propagandists of al-Jazeera," etc.

Pretty standard right-wing fare overall, basically what I would expect Washington Times reviews to resemble. Maybe White's looking for a Golden Moonie Parachute?

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Was that elementary school actually in Florida?

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:04 (nineteen years ago) link

"Punditocracy"??!! I love it.

andy, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know what he's on about here, his POV is non-existent and completely arbitrary based on whatever the hell he had for breakfast.

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Does he actually refute any of the facts in Moore's film? I didn't see any examples. That says something, doesn't it?

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:13 (nineteen years ago) link

The headline is the worst thing: calling Moore a fascist is just loopy. The review is based on the premise that Moore oughtn't to make propaganda or op-ed, but rather mull for 90 minutes over 'complexities'. Well, why on earth should he? The weird thing is that White thinks Moore should really be pondering 'our own capitalism or our unwillingness to fight'. Well, what unwillingness to fight? Surely the anti-capitalistic, pro-militaristic film White seems to be advocating would fit much better with fascism that Moore's liberalism does? Perhaps the headline is referring to White rather than Moore.

Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:18 (nineteen years ago) link

No one required Noujaim to trace the history of Al Jazeera or examine its standard content. Her celebration of Al Jazeera (as opposition to any media representing American interests) was carelessly praised as some kind of palliative: "The number one must-see film of the summer." "An essential movie [that] not only goes through the looking glass, but turns the mirror back on us."

wtf?!?!?

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh no! Fahrenheit 9/11 incorporates morally bankrupt "pop culture"! Oh NO!

Sean Thomas (sgthomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Exploiting the Iraq invasion and American political distress is a form of war profiteering.

Yeah let's just not make any films about it, right? Fucking twat.

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Summary of this review: 'I am very annoyed by this film.'
Summary of our response: 'Good.'

Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:21 (nineteen years ago) link

She cannily keeps her distance from those Al Jazeera employees who wear robes and turbans.

Ha ha christ

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:22 (nineteen years ago) link

As facile as the makers of The Blair Witch Project...

whoa whoa, what??!?!? Armond White thinks The Blair Witch Project was a DOCUMENTARY?!?!@?!@??!! SOOMEBODY PLEASE REVOKE HIS FILM CRITIC'S LICENSE ASAP!!!

(tho I think he's right about Tarentino)

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:22 (nineteen years ago) link

he's also obviously never watched three kings all the way through

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:24 (nineteen years ago) link

It seems as though the film has been pretty effective at pissing off the people that it is meant to piss off. In that sense, it certainly is a success.

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Tarentino is being consistent. He's not advocating peace but administering a dose of the old ultraviolence to Bush.

Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:24 (nineteen years ago) link

What do you lefties think about Godard's quote, "Moore doesn't distinguish between text and image. He doesn't know what he's doing." Agree/Somewhat Agree/Disagree?
I admire Moore's intention of bringing some of these connections, such as that between Bush and the Saudi royal family, to light. I just think he has a very heavy-handed style and his weakness is his completely overt subjectivity; which if he is a documentarist, it should be; otherwise, he is an entertainer, and the movie should not be passed off as fact. My biggest problem with it is that question - what is the intent of the movie, is it entertainment (Ricky Martin anyone?), or news?

The Devil's Triad (calstars), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:26 (nineteen years ago) link

"it disgraces that sorrowful date just to inflame liberal guilt."

He really should have replaced "guilt" with "anger".

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:26 (nineteen years ago) link

I meant he was right about Tarantino in this:

Tarantino, Kathleen Turner and Jerry Schatzberg encourages audiences to think or behave politically. American cinema in the Tarantino years has pandered to violence, racism, greed and self-satisfaction. It's not impossible that the torturers at Abu Ghraib—including even Saddam Hussein's own precedent-setting torturers—were inspired by the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs. QT made sadism hip and sent it 'round the world. Now we're stuck in the middle of a global crisis for which neither he, nor Michael Moore, have an answer.

Tarantino's production company is named after a Godard film but I'll be damned if I can find any Godard in what he does.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:26 (nineteen years ago) link

what is the intent of the
movie, is it entertainment (Ricky Martin anyone?), or news?


It's infotainment!

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:27 (nineteen years ago) link

first frag should read: "Tarantino, Kathleen Turner and Jerry Schatzberg [don't encourage] audiences to think or behave politically" since I truncated it.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't follow his writing closely, but my general impression of Armond White is that he's been slowly losing his mind since the mid-eighties -- every column or essay I've ever seen of his has him seriously blowing his gasket over something or other. CONFIRM OR DENY!

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Tarantino's production company is named after a Godard film but I'll be damned if I can find any Godard in what he does.

He's more of a Melville fan by way of Woo. But really, it's all in the snazzy suits.

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:28 (nineteen years ago) link

White is not wrong in that instance, but it's definitely unfair to lay all of the blame on Tarantino. In fact, by doing this, he's making himself as guilty as Moore by blowing things out of proportion.

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Bungled that of course, should read: his weakness is his lack of objectivity, which if he is a documentarist, should be his focus.

The Devil's Triad (calstars), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Momus, did you ever get around to seeing Kill Bill? I would actually love to read a Kill Bill review by you.

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Bungled that of course, should read: his weakness is his lack of objectivity, which if he is a documentarist, should be his focus.

This is all brought up on that other Moore thread.

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:31 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't care of AW doesn't like Tarantino, but to let that dislike turn into saying "he could be responsible for prison torture from the U.S. and the Iraqis" is simplistic, pretentious bullshit from someone who doesn't understand that this sort of crap was going on in the world long before Quentin Tarantino.

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:32 (nineteen years ago) link

No, Scott, I didn't. I probably will see it one day, though, and if ILX still exists I'll tell you my thoughts.

What do you lefties think about Godard's quote, "Moore doesn't distinguish between text and image. He doesn't know what he's doing." Agree/Somewhat Agree/Disagree?

I think that's probably a fair point. Moore is working in a very different tradition than Godard. Considering he's such a corpulent man, it's interesting that his films don't tend to have a 'body' in the way Godard's do. I hear the editing in 'F9/11' is 'good', but I suspect the people saying that (I think it was some BBC critic covering Cannes) are not people who think Godard's Brechtian editing style is 'good'. It's like criticizing a newspaper op-ed column for not being James Joyce.

Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:32 (nineteen years ago) link

"As Kevin Costner worried in JFK..." !!!!!!
Priceless. Armond White is a buffoon.

Neb Reyob (Ben Boyer), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Wait wait wait isn't Armond White the guy who creamed his pants about 3000 Miles to Graceland?!?!

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:34 (nineteen years ago) link

his weakness is his lack of objectivity, which if he is a documentarist, should be his focus.

Why shouldn't subjectivity and point-of-view be the focus of a documentarist?

Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I dunno, Gear, although Reservoir Dogs does kinda fit in with the Peckinpah legacy, I'd say its depiction of torture doesn't fit any specific trope other than "huh huh this looks cool, esp. with old 1970s tunes." Big difference between that and the opening credits of Wild Bunch (okay I know its insects but THEY'RE STANDING IN FOR PEOPLE).

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Why shouldn't subjectivity and point-of-view be the focus of a documentarist?

Because people are lazy and want to accept the 'truths' that other present for them :)

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:35 (nineteen years ago) link

And that's Michael Moore's fault, how?

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Right I understand that, but I think he's overstating the film's influence on the regime of Saddam Hussein.

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:38 (nineteen years ago) link

And that's Michael Moore's fault, how?

You may have to ask someone who thinks that it is his fault.

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Al-Jazeera bashing = automatic idiotic review.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Momus I think when a documentarist is reporting on a subject he should leave his bias or his favor at home. I guess we could debate whether the 'documentary' as a medium is inherently supposed to be objective or subjective, but the best ones I've seen ('One Day in September' comes to mind) leave polarizing issues like politics out of the story.

The Devil's Triad (calstars), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:42 (nineteen years ago) link

how could this movie leave politics out of the story?!!

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"if only 'spellbound' stayed away from polarizing issues like spelling"

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

You are delusional. No movie can possibly be objective (and One Day in September certainly wasn't.) I'd rather have someone be upfront with his biases than pretend they don't exist.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:44 (nineteen years ago) link

"why did marcel ophuls have to keep bringing up the nazis in 'the sorrow and the pity'?"

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:44 (nineteen years ago) link

for another, perhaps more informed point of view:

http://slate.msn.com/id/2102723/

lovebug starski, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:44 (nineteen years ago) link

"Why didn't we see more of the witch's POV in The Blair Witch Project?"

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

The Fog of War had to talk about war, that was what killed it for me

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

MAYBE WE SHOULD LET THE GOVERNMENT MAKE ALL OF THE DOCUMENTARIES

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

hahahaha alex

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't consider Hitchen's particularly sane or well-informed.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:47 (nineteen years ago) link

but he did say it was "unfairenheit"!

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Has anyone pinpointed the year that Hitchens went off the reservation? Was there ever a time he didn't hate Clinton with a fiery passion?

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Momus I think when a documentarist is reporting on a subject he should leave his bias or his favor at home. I guess we could debate whether the 'documentary' as a medium is inherently supposed to be objective or subjective, but the best ones I've seen ('One Day in September' comes to mind) leave polarizing issues like politics out of the story.

oh no, please don't me bring poor Nanook back into another thread. He's tired.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

You must always remember that people can make movies about whatever they want. And that they can express any point of view that they want. Except in countries where they can't. Well, they CAN in countries where they can't, but they might end up in jail.

Yours truly, Mister Obvious

Mr.Obvious (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Alex in SF I am obviously remembering a different film. I thought 'One Day' at least attempted to be more objective than Moore's work, no?

The Devil's Triad (calstars), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:51 (nineteen years ago) link

But Nanook doesn't really bring anything to the argument. "Nanook staged things and played with the facts" isn't a defense (of Moore's tactics, in these cases) unless there is consensus about Nanook's stature as a documentary, which there isn't.

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:53 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think a documentary has any particular responsibility to be objective; it isn't a news report.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:53 (nineteen years ago) link

"The pitfall for Moore is not subjectivity, but accuracy." to thread

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Nanook brings a history of ahistory, much as milo and amateur!st would like to deny it (?).

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:55 (nineteen years ago) link

where has Moore's accuracy been called into account, milo? Hitchens doesn't count, he's batshit. And the same people harping on Moore's perceived accuracy problem (you, amateur!st) are the same ones harping on Moore's hiring of fact-checkers. You can't have it both ways, unless of course you can.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

What does Nanook bring? Why does it matter that Flaherty fudged things, unless it's agreed upon that Nanook is a documentary, is accepted by documentarians/filmmakers/critics and that a film need only live up to its standards?

If everyone agreed that Nanook was a documentary, pure and simple, then you're right. You could argue that people shouldn't/can't hold Moore to a different standard. But that view of Nanook isn't universal or even a majority.

hstencil, that was in reference to the "it needs to be objective" arguments. "Objectivity" is a lame bogeyman raised by the right to attack Moore, when objectivity is neither necessary nor preferable (documentary without a POV = boring/pointless).

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm with Momus (!): I don't ever want to see an "objective" documentary - who could possibly care? Human beings have thoughts, feelings and opinions and so does the art they make non-shockah!

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:04 (nineteen years ago) link

(NB documentaries are my very favorite types of films, precisely because of all the art forms I feel they come closest to briging the artist/audience gap & it's remarkable when that happens)

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

encyclopedia def.:

Reference Library: Encyclopedia

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Documentary film
An incredibly broad category of cinematic expression, traditionally, the only common characteristic to all documentary films is that they are meant to be non-fiction films. The French used the term to refer to any non-fiction film, including travelogues and instructional videos. The earliest "moving pictures" were by definition documentary. They were single shots, moments captured on film, whether of a train entering a station, a boat docking, or a factory of people getting off work. Early film (pre-1900) was dominated by the novelty of showing an event. These short films were called "actualities." Very little storytelling took place before the turn of the century, due mostly to technological limitations: cameras could hold only very small amounts of film; many of the first films are a minute or less in length.
With Robert J. Flaherty's Nanook of the North in 1922, documentary film embraced romanticism; Flaherty went on to film a number of heavily staged romantic films, usually showing how his subjects would have lived 100 years earlier and not how they lived right then (for instance, in Nanook of the North Flaherty does not allow his subjects to shoot a walrus with a nearby shotgun, but has them use a harpoon instead, putting themselves in considerable danger).

Some of Flaherty's staging, such as building a roofless igloo for interior shots, was done to accommodate the filming technology of the time. In later years, attempts to steer the action in this way, without informing the audience, have come to be considered both unethical and contradictory to the nature of documentary film. On the other hand, both the story line and content of any documentary are imposed by the filmmaker.

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Robert J. Flaherty, who wrote, directed, produced, shot, and edited this landmark picture, will forever be remembered as the godfather of documentary filmmaking. While this landmark 1922 production, shot on the northeastern shore of Hudson Bay, isn't a true documentary by contemporary conventions, it remains the first great nonfiction film. With the help of Nanook and his friends and family, Flaherty undertook the mission of re-creating an Eskimo culture that no longer existed in a series of staged scenes. Nanook ice fishes, harpoons a walrus, catches a seal, traps, builds an igloo, and trades pelts at a trading post, all captured by Flaherty's inquisitive camera. Though he presents a "happy" culture bordering on primitive innocence (Nanook and his family were in reality quite westernized), his loving portrait is anything but condescending. Ultimately Flaherty shares his tremendous respect and awe for a culture that has learned to not just survive but thrive in such an inhospitable environment. On a purely visual level the film is a beautiful work of cinema, an understated drama in an austere, unblemished landscape of snow and ice. With unerring simplicity and directness, Flaherty re-creates the details and rhythms of a culture long gone and gives the world a glimpse.

review from Silent Film Sources:

Nanook of the North (1922)
R E V I E W 1922. 6 reels.
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Revillon Freres present NANOOK OF THE NORTH. A story of life and love in the actual arctic. Produced by Robert J. Flaherty F.R.G.S. Pathepicture.
Opening title: The mysterious Barren Lands- desolate, boulder-strewn, wind-swept- illimitable spaces which top the world.

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Produced for video by David Shepard. Nanook of the North was the first of Robert J. Flaherty's romantic depictions of man's dignified perseverance in combating a malevolent nature. Flaherty is often called "the father of the documentary", and he did make the first theatrical documentary feature with Nanook. But that fact does not do justice to the humanism and the technical brilliance that makes his best works -- Nanook, Man of Aran and Louisiana Story -- beautiful and enduring.

imdb:

Nanook of the North (1922)
Directed by
Robert J. Flaherty

Writing credits
Robert J. Flaherty

Genre: Documentary (more)

Tagline: A story of life and love in the actual Arctic. (more)

Plot Summary: Documents one year in the life of Nanook, an Eskimo (Inuit) and his family. Describes the trading, hunting... (more)

Shall I go on? Googling gets old.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:06 (nineteen years ago) link

"Objectivity" is a lame bogeyman raised by the right to attack Moore, when objectivity is neither necessary nor preferable (documentary without a POV = boring/pointless).
Boring? 'Baseball?'
And perish the thought of objectivity (although it is very slippery) in our accounts of history. Sorry but I don't get it, how is subjectivity in this case preferable?

The Devil's Triad (calstars), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I find Moore's wavering on what he and his films are to be frustrating though. He certainly didn't refuse his Oscar on the grounds that he's a comedian. He's willing to use the documentary moniker to aid his cause, to give his films the air of legitimacy (factual or otherwise) that comes with it. But when challenged on facts or methodology, he resorts to the cheap "I'm an entertainer," "it's a joke" stuff.

x-post

An IMDB entry for it says documentary - OK, IMDB also lists Häxan as a doc. Is Häxan a documentary? An Amazon review, a dictionary reference that includes the line "In later years, attempts to steer the action in this way, without informing the audience, have come to be considered both unethical and contradictory to the nature of documentary film."

None of these show a consensus of opinion on Nanook that lets you use it and its methods as a standard. (Because that consensus does not exist.)

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:10 (nineteen years ago) link

There is no objectivity (aside from, say, the dates events happened) in our history. Subjectivity is inherent to any human-authored medium. But without a POV, an idea guiding the documentary, what do you have? At best, a PBS/History Channel half-hour talking head show. At worst, ten o'clock news footage.

I think your error is in assuming that a documentary is about accounting history. Documentary != history book.

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:14 (nineteen years ago) link

History Book != objective

deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Most PBS docs I've seen aren't objective either. Frontline sure ain't.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

I think your error is in assuming that a documentary is about accounting history
Isn't this what Moore is trying to do in his film?

The Devil's Triad (calstars), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

is he accounting history or trying to affect history? And does it matter which one he's doing (if he's doing either)?

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

I just watched the somewhat mediocre "And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself" last night... not a great film, but an interesting idea as the DW Griffith's film team forced Villa to make battle decisions that would suit their cinematic requirements (aka attacking only in the daylight, not into the sun, etc.).

I'm reminded of how effective this whole embedded journalist thing worked during the war's early stages... lame ass FOX reporters felt the espirit de corps and wouldn't report anything negative... they became buddies with the soldiers.

(And my point is....?)

andy, Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

so presumably saddam hussein didn't torture anyone before 1997, when resevoir dogs gave him some pointers?? i wonder how white would explain serbian atrocities and the tutsi/hutu massacres.

lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:40 (nineteen years ago) link

good point. tho I think RD was before '97, right? I remember seeing it in high school.

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:55 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, duh. i have no idea why i said 1997!

lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 19:57 (nineteen years ago) link

All documentation of necessity editorializes. To document is to editorialize. This extends even to saying "today is Tuesday, the 22nd of June" - how many conventions & preferences are expressed when I say that? several, if not dozens. "Objectivity" is a phantom usually conjured by the right when they want to complain that something doesn't lean in their direction. I'd hope that lefties (since I'm nominally one of them) would know better than to not fear this bogeyman. All documentation of anything ever is editorial.

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:04 (nineteen years ago) link

"know better than to fear," I mean

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:10 (nineteen years ago) link

"The only objective opinion is MINE."

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought the Hitchens column was sort of entertaining, anyway, in that Hitchens-playing-his-same-old-hand kind of way.

morris pavilion (samjeff), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 20:24 (nineteen years ago) link

heh, armond white otm re: moore but not so re: anything else. "merde," wtf? also, it's "punditariat," duh!

i am really dreading seeing this movie.

g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Dan given that You are the Pope Your statement actually does kinda pertain in Your case, Yer Eminence

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 21:57 (nineteen years ago) link

'Let us not forget that Dana Carvey did more than anyone in America, save Ross Perot, to drive Bush père from the White House.'

J. Hoberman

a) does he mean Garth out of Wayne's World?
b) if so, what's he on about?
c) and you know what the worst part is? I never learned to read.

Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 24 June 2004 13:56 (nineteen years ago) link

see other thread, re: GHWB impersonation and "1000 points of light."

hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 24 June 2004 14:56 (nineteen years ago) link

from White's review - ""This is a crime," he says. "It must be avenged!" Noujaim accepts his threat as understandable rage, rather than demand journalistic integrity. No American reviews noticed this."

No other reviews "noticed this" because he left off the last part of the reporter's statement - "it must be avenged, or at least punished." (something to that effect)

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 25 June 2004 15:30 (nineteen years ago) link

three years pass...

No Country for Old Men > better than There Will Be Blood, Zodiac

The Coen brothers hauntingly mythologize Americana, while P.T. Anderson and David Fincher make it morbid, sadistic and self-congratulatory.

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:43 (sixteen years ago) link

o_O

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:43 (sixteen years ago) link

zodiac >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> no country for old men (which i loved)

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:44 (sixteen years ago) link

yes

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:44 (sixteen years ago) link

armond's line that morbs quoted in the "there will be blood" thread was some all-time hilarity

Plainview is the most remarkable movie performance since Eddie Murphy’s Norbit trifecta.

dmr, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:50 (sixteen years ago) link

zodiac >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> no country for old men (which i loved)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>there will be blood (which i really really liked)

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:52 (sixteen years ago) link

zodiac was not that good ..... the first half, maybe

dmr, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:53 (sixteen years ago) link

i dont like pt anderson but i wanna see there will be blood

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:54 (sixteen years ago) link

To be fair zodiac is maybe only >>> no country for old men.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:54 (sixteen years ago) link

and what and Alex OTM

and No Country was really good but come on it was totally morbid and sadistic

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:55 (sixteen years ago) link

twbb >>>> zodiac (which i liked a lot) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> no country for old men (which is doomed to mediocrity by coens' unimaginative fidelity to mediocre source material)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:55 (sixteen years ago) link

and i love tommy lee jones that was one phoned-in cranky-old-sheriff routine.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:56 (sixteen years ago) link

BUT that was one, i mean

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:56 (sixteen years ago) link

i dont like pt anderson but i wanna see there will be blood

yeah don't let PT hate stop you, it's not like any of his previous movies

dmr, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Maybe it's a mediocre book, but I think it works really well cinematically. I can't imagine what you would want to change.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:57 (sixteen years ago) link

but what if I hate PTA and DDL both

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:57 (sixteen years ago) link

boys lovin' morbid and sadistic

The Wind That Shakes the Barley >>>>>>> Zodiac = TWBB

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:57 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't think TLJ's performance was any more phoned in than DDL's frankly (if we are talking about performances these guys can do in their sleep.)

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:58 (sixteen years ago) link

these were my three favourite movies of the year. i tied them at #1.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Zodiac >> The Wind That Shakes the Barley > No Country for Old Men >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> TWBB

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

the wind that shakes the barley was good but a little too earnest and on the nose for me.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't imagine what you would want to change.

caring what happens at any point to anyone?

xpost: disagree completely about tlj vs. ddl, i think ddl's been working on that performance for years and finally got to do it. (butcher bill was about halfway there.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

enough with the fuckin triangular brackets already.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^^^^

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:05 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean i guess the point of no country is to do with fate and the persistence of evil in the world and the morally compromised nature of human existence and all that stuff mccarthy has done better in other books, but the story is really problematic. people do stupid shit all the way through it, and we're supposed to buy their bad ends as "fate"? i think mccarthy only committed to the genre halfway, he didn't let himself go all the way pulp, which leaves it as kind of po-faced pulp, just self-aware enough to be ineffectual. coens made the same mistake, even though they didn't have to -- they could have taken the ridiculous story and had fun with it. (i think the reason the road is a better book than no country is that mccarthy really does commit to the post-apocalyptic thing and for the most part does not clutter it with rumination. that will probably make it a better movie too, although probably armond white won't think so.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:05 (sixteen years ago) link

the wind that shakes the barley was about as good as the best of the irish troubles flicks. reminded me of 'soldier of orange' for some reason. still not as good as zodiac or no country for old men (which is awesomely directed and acted if nothing else).

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Armond taking Woody Allen, Dargis and AO Scott to the woodshed this week is funny stuff.

http://www.nypress.com/21/3/film/ArmondWhite.cfm

gimme Loach "earnestness" any day if you feel the cost of bloodletting in your throat.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:13 (sixteen years ago) link

i can understand the comparisons between there will be blood and no country, but i don't get exactly where zodiac ties into the equation. is the uniting thought that they are longish, auteurish pictures by established directors, primarily about crime in america?

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:14 (sixteen years ago) link

i liked no country but i like it less & less the more i think about it

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:15 (sixteen years ago) link

while i loved zodiac and love it more & more every day

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:15 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^^^^ >>>>>>>> (>>>>>>>) ?

dmr, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:16 (sixteen years ago) link

i like all three of them more and more with every lovely day.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:16 (sixteen years ago) link

but with no country... im not that concerned with figuring out what it means, or what the moral is... i think the meaning is kinda beyond that

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Cassandra’s Dream isn’t prophecy, it’s decadence.

wtf does this even mean

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:18 (sixteen years ago) link

agreed, slocks.

the thing i liked the least about zodiac (the uselessness of the rdj character) seems less and less offensive to me every day.

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:18 (sixteen years ago) link

twbb >>>> zodiac (which i liked a lot) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> no country for old men (which is doomed to mediocrity by coens' unimaginative fidelity to mediocre source material)

-- tipsy mothra, Thursday, January 17, 2008 7:55 PM

u mad doggie

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:18 (sixteen years ago) link

so mad

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:19 (sixteen years ago) link

i just love that the characters never meet and you barely even notice that.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:19 (sixteen years ago) link

man he really stuck it to dargis and scott there!!

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:21 (sixteen years ago) link

The Wind That Shakes The Barley was just okay, but I'll definitely take it over No Country and (most especially) Zodiac.

milo z, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:21 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean i really liked wind shakes but i cant say i loved it. maybe i just cant fully commit to any kind of art that has no sense of humour whatsoever.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

Imagine a world where every ILE film thread turns into a debate about the relative merits of Bamako, Offside and Away from Her.

I've only read NCfOM, but it didn't impress me as being solely about fate. I have no problem with genre pieces where people do stupid shit, especially in Texas.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:27 (sixteen years ago) link

you should see it morbz. and on the big screen.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

offside rules though but you know that.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

no country is ok, competently handled, i didn't hate it. but it's the 5th-best mccarthy book i've read and the, what, 4th- or 5th-best coen film i can think of. its acclaim really does mystify me, but so do lots of things.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:54 (sixteen years ago) link

(coen movies i like better: fargo, blood simple, raising arizona, the ladykillers) (ok kidding about the ladykillers. but not kidding about the big lebowski.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:56 (sixteen years ago) link

i just cant fully commit to any kind of art that has no sense of humour whatsoever.

-- s1ocki, Thursday, January 17, 2008 2:24 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

otm

gbx, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:56 (sixteen years ago) link

THE LADYKILLERS?!?!?

You are mad.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:02 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: yeah, Cillian Murphy shoulda been braying about milkshakes just before he was executed. Instant hype and Oscar noms to follow.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:03 (sixteen years ago) link

(ladykillers was a joke)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

you know that's not what i mean.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

wind shakes was so... "DO YOU SEE? GET IT?? IRAQ MUCH??"

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

spoilers, yo

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

"wind shakes was so... "DO YOU SEE? GET IT?? IRAQ MUCH??""

I neither saw or cared much about that parallel.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:06 (sixteen years ago) link

at the end when it cuts straight to black and the "IRAQ MUCH?" title card comes up... chills.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:07 (sixteen years ago) link

anyway like i said i did like it a lot... but loved it? think it was GREAT? not really.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:07 (sixteen years ago) link

ha, s1ocki, if that's your biggest objection to Barley -- it was Armond's too!!

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:07 (sixteen years ago) link

NCFOM is better than Fargo. Fargo's too clever clever by a half.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:08 (sixteen years ago) link

nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! xp

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:08 (sixteen years ago) link

i think no country probably their best.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Brother-on-brother stories are as old as civil wars, I didn't really see Iraq at all.

My problem with Barley is that it wasn't humorless so much as emotionless.

milo z, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:08 (sixteen years ago) link

ncfom isn't half-clever enough.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:09 (sixteen years ago) link

I admit I've only begun to think that in the past 10 years. When I saw it initially I thought it was brilliant so I may end up feeling like that about NCFOM in 2020.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:09 (sixteen years ago) link

fargo sucks.

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:09 (sixteen years ago) link

"ncfom isn't half-clever enough."

It doesn't need to be.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:09 (sixteen years ago) link

boring and annoying. i used to kinda like it, too.

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:10 (sixteen years ago) link

xp
Haven't seen anything I loved or thought was great from '07 yet. Or '06 (Inland Empire closest).

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:10 (sixteen years ago) link

what does that even mean (re: clever/half-clever/whatever)

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:10 (sixteen years ago) link

i have no idea.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:10 (sixteen years ago) link

but among the things i think no country is not enough: clever, interesting, imaginative, smart. funny. scary. sad.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:11 (sixteen years ago) link

(which are all things i think twbb and zodiac have plenty of.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:12 (sixteen years ago) link

Zodiac is a good big-budget cop show (Armond thinks the voices of the men inhabiting it are too high).

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

no it's something more than that. you're not going to get away with dismissing a movie for its genre on this board, mister.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:17 (sixteen years ago) link

ok now i agree with slocki.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:18 (sixteen years ago) link

fargo sucks.

-- omar little, Thursday, January 17, 2008 4:09 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

insane

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:18 (sixteen years ago) link

fargo sucks

gabbneb, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:19 (sixteen years ago) link

xp

I'm not ... I just didn't find Zodiac an all-too-original example of that genre, the way its fans do.

Fargo is a smug funny-accent travesty.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:19 (sixteen years ago) link

i love tommy lee jones but his marshall in the fugitive is about 500 times better than his cop in ncfom

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:19 (sixteen years ago) link

shit, his speech to rosario dawson at the end of men in black 2 is better than anything in ncfom

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

here is why fargo doesn't suck

frances macdormand
steve buscemi
peter stomare
william h macy
harve presnell

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

carter burwell

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:21 (sixteen years ago) link

steve park
john carroll lynch

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:21 (sixteen years ago) link

steve reevis

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:21 (sixteen years ago) link

i think fargo got humanized by frances mcdormand. maybe being married to a coen helps. ncfom doesn't get humanized by anything.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Zodiac is not a genre picture

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:23 (sixteen years ago) link

are you kidding? josh mf brolin.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:23 (sixteen years ago) link

steve reevis

-- remy bean, Thursday, January 17, 2008 4:21 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

fuck yeah

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:23 (sixteen years ago) link

josh brolin is... misdirected

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:24 (sixteen years ago) link

everyone is inscrutable and blank and we're supposed to project all these film crit motivations and desires onto them but i didnt really. i think the movie looked good and there were a couple half decent exchanges but to pretend its fucking with fargo or that its the best coen bros is crazy revisionism

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:25 (sixteen years ago) link

tlj brings some humanity to it. i didn't like fargo because i thought it was generically directed when compared to the coens' best stuff. though their worst stuff is totally overdirected.

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:26 (sixteen years ago) link

josh brolin's character was too stupid to live. (in the book as soon as he headed back out to the shooting site with the water, i completely lost interest in him.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:26 (sixteen years ago) link

they don't look totally blank! there's just not a lot of dialogue! what, you want them to be making frownie faces and big wide-eyed A-HAs when they realize shit?

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:28 (sixteen years ago) link

funny thing is the only reason he survived as long as he did is he went out there, because if he wasn't pursued from the start they would have just tracked him to his trailer and killed him and his wife there, right? that was the impression i got anyway.

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Fargo & Barton Fink are the fave Coens films of people whose contempt for humanity is (even) great(er than mine).

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

how would they have tracked him to the trailer...?

x-post

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

if he hadn't gone back there, there was nothing to tie him to it at all. it's a big clumsy plot device. and not surprising, since plot is not mccarthy's strong point.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

my fave Coen Bros films are the comedies - Hudsucker Proxy and Big Lebowski

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

haha yeah plotting is definitely not what McCarthy's good at!

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

there was a tracking device in the money bag, which is how chigurh tracked him from place to place.

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:32 (sixteen years ago) link

people who like hudsucker proxy hate humanity a lot more than people who like fargo

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:32 (sixteen years ago) link

people who like intolerable cruelty just hate themselves.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:32 (sixteen years ago) link

where do O Brother fans fit in?

milo z, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:33 (sixteen years ago) link

oh! you're right about the transponder. ok.

the character's still an idiot though.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:34 (sixteen years ago) link

(although the transponder didn't have much of a range, right? presumably if he'd just packed up and skipped town he would have been ok.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:35 (sixteen years ago) link

people who like hudsucker proxy hate humanity a lot more than people who like fargo

uh okay I guess... I don't know what this means either

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:36 (sixteen years ago) link

"the character's still an idiot though."

I didn't think this at all.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

hudsucker proxy is shallow and glib, borderline autistic. the idea that because some midwesterners in fargo have funny accents the movie hates humanity is the most o_O thing on this thread.

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

no, he's a pretty resourceful and smart dude. who makes some pretty bad mistakes. who hates humanity now?

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Raising Arizona >>>>>> Intolerable Cruelty >>> Hudsucker Proxy and Big Lebowski

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

Biggest too clever schtick in Fargo is the "BASED ON A TRUE STORY" thing at the beginning.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

i do not understand the fargo hate, except for people who do not think it is funny. more than anything else the coens have ever done, it makes me laugh out loud.

i am like prince #1 a+ champion of vaguely realistic humanist cinema, and i can't stand barton fink or miller's crossing for being too cruel and roundly mean-spirited, but there is no way i would level the same charge at fargo.

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

raising arizona is bullshit. dismissing fargo as "smug funny-accent travesty" and then riding for that garbage is psychotic

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:41 (sixteen years ago) link

i am reserving judgment on fargo cuz i havent seen it since it came out. i liked it then, not sure if i would be as into it now.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:41 (sixteen years ago) link

we shore get up to some heeelarious goings-on!! huyk!

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:42 (sixteen years ago) link

i haven't seen it since it came out, either, but remember enjoying it quite a bit. however, being from minnesota meant enduring "...do you ALL talk like that?" for years after

gbx, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:43 (sixteen years ago) link

A: actually, yeah, a lot of people DO talk like that

gbx, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:43 (sixteen years ago) link

yes

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:44 (sixteen years ago) link

is there one review or critic or school of thought that we can blame for all the people who now think fargo is some smug anti-humanity genre exercise because people say dontcha know?

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:45 (sixteen years ago) link

look how frances macdonald said 'yah' in that last scene - clearly these so-called coen brothers are nietzschean sociopaths!

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:46 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: Donal Logue

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:47 (sixteen years ago) link

he's a pretty resourceful and smart dude. who makes some pretty bad mistakes.

this is how he's intended -- there's the bit where his wife is all, like, oh he can take care of himself -- but in fact he pretty much fucks everything up from the start and keeps fucking up until he inevitably gets himself and assorted other people killed. which is the big moralizing twist: the hero never stands a chance. death awaits us all! thus has it ever been, etc. but you know, you can improve your odds at longevity a little by not being a dumbass.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:48 (sixteen years ago) link

pretty sure i don't recall anyone actually from minnesota getting upset by the lol what rubes character typing. i think that's because the coens actually did a decent job of presenting uniquely midwestern personalities. regardless, i don't need idiot movie critics going to bat for me and my neighbors and getting capt save a lutefisk

gbx, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:50 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't think that's the moralizing twist or the point of the movie at all.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:50 (sixteen years ago) link

also, aren't they FROM minnesota originally??

anyway, now i think i might have to blow off doing laundry and go see twbb instead

gbx, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:51 (sixteen years ago) link

For my money, Miller's Crossing is clearly their best film. But given that I am Richard Roeper compared to some of you guys, I understand if my opinion doesn't carry much weight around here. :)

Also, NCFOM was their best film since Lebowski, that much is certain. Whether it deserves to be slobbered over is a matter of personal taste.

polyphonic, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Hating on TLJ performance in this movie baffles me. It's a great performance. Should he never act again because he's always going to look and sound like TLJ?

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:52 (sixteen years ago) link

Crimewave >>> Miller's Crossing

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:53 (sixteen years ago) link

thats what im saying, man! is fargo shittier or more cruel to its characters than double indemnity or chinatown or blade runner or or sunset blvd or mulholland drive or etc etc etc

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:53 (sixteen years ago) link

o brother is funny and cute and well-loved unironically by every CMT-watching redneck non-cinephile i know back on SC

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:54 (sixteen years ago) link

I've never seen Crimewave.

TLJ was great! It probably hurts him that he has no "range," but I love the dude, even in his bad movies.

polyphonic, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

another maniacal Coen Bros thread, this time in the Armond White thread

dmr, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

tipsy: so the movie is inhuman because you think the main character is so stupid he deserves to die? ya that's really on the movie there.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

the characters in fargo came across like a lot of regular minnesotans i knew from my time there. i didn't think they were rubes, but i remember seeing it in nyc when it was released and many people were loling at the accents (which i don't necessarily think was the film's intent).

omar little, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

god i hated o brother.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

If anything, this thread convinced me to see Shakes the Barley, and maybe to finally check out Zodiac (despite not being much of a Fincher fan).

polyphonic, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:56 (sixteen years ago) link

"I've never seen Crimewave."

Haha I was kidding. It's good, but Miller's Crossing is better (if not their best.)

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:56 (sixteen years ago) link

I hate Fincher generally, but I love love loved Zodiac.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:57 (sixteen years ago) link

its not great CINEMA!!@@#!@ or anything but for a tart little populist hit its def good enough - most dvd collections file it next to, like, the notebook & 13 going on 30

xp about o brother

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:57 (sixteen years ago) link

i just thought it was annoying

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:58 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean i cant speak on the midwestern stuff but as a southerner the only ppl getting all madd about the southern shit in that was yankees

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:58 (sixteen years ago) link

its basically mama's family: the motion picture

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:58 (sixteen years ago) link

as for Zodiac, it's about information glut, a very modern and un-cinematic problem. which makes it kind of a bold, maybe even important film.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:59 (sixteen years ago) link

problem's not with tlj, it's with the hokey character, who's essentially written as Crinkly Texas Lawman. the movie does get rid of some of his lamer contemplations (the weakest part of the book by far), and also fobs off some of them on the other Crinkly Texas Lawman toward the end, but still leaves him half-thought-out and indistinct. so tlj fills him in with all his usual crinkly-lawmanisms.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:59 (sixteen years ago) link

you are totally projecting. he doesn't do that at all.

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:01 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah i love tlj but his role in that was like a tlk parody from the critic or something

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:02 (sixteen years ago) link

tlk lol

and what, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:02 (sixteen years ago) link

so the movie is inhuman because you think the main character is so stupid he deserves to die?

the movie's lack of humanity didn't bother me, that's mostly a given with the coens.i was just noting that part of what sets fargo apart is that marge is a larger, warmer character than they usually manage, which i think is mostly frances mcdormand's doing.

my problem with no country is that i think it's a basically kind of dopey book, rendered entirely too literally.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:03 (sixteen years ago) link

(i actually think javier bardem is a bigger detriment than either brolin or tlj, but again i don't really think it's his fault.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Haha okay seriously I am never trusting your opinion. Javier Bardem's performance is phenomenal.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Was there a thread this year for favorite movies of 2007? I don't see it on the front page and suck at using ILX search. I have a general sense of what some of you guys dug.

polyphonic, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:07 (sixteen years ago) link

I have no idea what this warm thing is either. I think all the principles come off as very human as NCFOM.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:07 (sixteen years ago) link

The only two films in this discussion that have moved me are Barley and Raising Arizona.

re humor and Loach -- he's had humor in plenty of his other films, but there wasn't really much room for it in Barley's story, wouldn't ya say? (tho there's some inherently funny/grim Irish stuff, like the old lady whose house is torched by the Brits who declares she'll live in the chicken coop.)

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:09 (sixteen years ago) link

no really i like javier bardem and was excited to see him in this and, eh. i already said this on the ncfom thread, but i thought he wasn't scary or funny enough. could have been more of both, or either, but as a relentless force of death he just seemed kinda ho-hum.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:10 (sixteen years ago) link

"but i thought he wasn't scary or funny enough"

See my comments above.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:11 (sixteen years ago) link

the scene in the convenience store was good, i liked that.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Raising Arizona is way more hateful towards its characters than Fargo or Hudsucker or O Brother or any of their other films really

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:13 (sixteen years ago) link

"lolz lookit that silly redneck stealing diapers"

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:13 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't think that's hateful, just funny. Aside from McDormand, Fargo isn't funny either.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:15 (sixteen years ago) link

tipsy, i agree with that last statement. jb did an excellent job with the script and direction he had, but cigurh seemed much more of a conceit than an actual character

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:16 (sixteen years ago) link

I was one of those critics who called Fargo "smug" in my college paper at the time, but I've warmed to it enough, partly because I've read some insightful things over the years – doncha know – on ILE.

Whatever. I'll never love the Coens, and have a problem with their adapting a terrible novel so that they can – do what exactly? Improve it marginally? But the thing worked as an effective suspense film.

Barley doesn't belong in this discussion at all; it's probably my favorite film of the year.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:16 (sixteen years ago) link

Dopey? audiences didn't even understand the last 20 minutes of the film. Or the fact that Anton is not a literal character in the film. Not to mention all the redundant shots and dialog the coens left OUT of the film, giving you only exactly what you need to know. brolin made mostly intelligent decisions, it's just that from the moment he took the money death began stalking him.

I agree javier bardem could have been both scarier and funnier, but i understand why the kept him fairly blank.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Morbius, you did not find any, err, comedy of terror, when Marge Gunderson ran around her house with a bag over her head? Or when she fell down the stairs in a shower curtain?

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:17 (sixteen years ago) link

i think there's less to understand in the last 20 minutes (and/or the last section of the book) than meets the eye. straining for significance. (this is also true of there will be blood, but that's some really entertaining straining.)

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:19 (sixteen years ago) link

You guys are underplaying the capacity for cruelty in the Coens, even when they're trying to be gentle and "human." I vividly remember the theater audience laughing AT Gunderson rather than with.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:20 (sixteen years ago) link

I didn't realize she was laughing.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:21 (sixteen years ago) link

It was muffled by the death-shrieks

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:23 (sixteen years ago) link

wood chippers are inherently funny

dmr, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:23 (sixteen years ago) link

remy, how many times do you think I saw Fargo? Once in '96! I don't remember either scene.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:23 (sixteen years ago) link

It's a cumulative let's-laugh-at-the-rube thing.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:24 (sixteen years ago) link

funniest thing to say during orgasm ^^^

remy bean, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:25 (sixteen years ago) link

You guys are underplaying the capacity for cruelty in the Coens

Perhaps you're underplaying OUR capacity for cruelty? Morbs pretty much summed me up with "boys lovin' morbid and sadistic".

polyphonic, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:25 (sixteen years ago) link

why don't more of you boys love the morbid and sadistic Fassbinder? Too gay and not enough blood?

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:28 (sixteen years ago) link

why can't we love morbid sadistic fassbinder and americans together? WW2 ended a long time ago.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:31 (sixteen years ago) link

i love fassbinder but i need to see more. berlin alexanderplatz is in the queue.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:31 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't speak for the other boys, but I like the few Fassbinders I've seen. I found them a little too overtly philosophical, I guess ... not quite Brecht, but close.

polyphonic, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:32 (sixteen years ago) link

that guy hasn't even put out a movie in like 10 years

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:40 (sixteen years ago) link

fassbinder, what have you done for me lately?

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:40 (sixteen years ago) link

what dude accomplished is more impressive to me than any other filmmaker in the history of cinema, and I'm only familiar with a small amount of his work.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:44 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah i remember a scorsese quote about cocaine where he said that he'd stay up for days doing coke and have ideas for 5 movies by the end of it, and then instead of making the movies he'd just do more coke. but fassbinder did that and actually made the movies.

tipsy mothra, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I couldn't get through Berlin Alexanderpants - I'm skipping straight to the epilogue, which sounds like the most interesting bit (to me)

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:04 (sixteen years ago) link

no spoilers

s1ocki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:06 (sixteen years ago) link

The butler did it.

Billy Dods, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Shakey, maybe you should watch the '31 film, then RWF's epilogue.

At least RWF didn't have to do his drugs at Robbie Robertson's house.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Perhaps you're underplaying OUR capacity for cruelty?

The response to NCFOM here is pretty measured, considering how the Coens make ILE'ers dig on swine.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:14 (sixteen years ago) link

no, i just begrudgingly give them free pass in light of their other talents.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:20 (sixteen years ago) link

like getting billy bob thornton to shut up.

Cosmo Vitelli, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:20 (sixteen years ago) link

This shit must cease.

Haven't seen anything I loved or thought was great from '07 yet. Or '06 (Inland Empire closest).

You keep bringing this up. What was the last great movie you've seen?

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 03:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Fox and Friends

Alex in SF, Friday, 18 January 2008 03:14 (sixteen years ago) link

was our 2006 thread in the Sandbox?

milo z, Friday, 18 January 2008 03:16 (sixteen years ago) link

the detrius one? mostly

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 03:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Munich, of course. ILXors throw "great" around like it was low-grade weed.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 14:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Clearly.

Alex in SF, Friday, 18 January 2008 14:26 (sixteen years ago) link

Of course thinking Munich is a great film is more indicative of the amount of low-grade weed you've been smoking, but still clearly.

Alex in SF, Friday, 18 January 2008 14:29 (sixteen years ago) link

DANCE ON CAMERA

Fri Jan 18 @ 6:15pm

POP VIDEO ARTISTS AND HOLLYWOOD INFLUENCE

Armond White's tantalizing take on the music videos of the king & queen of pop - Michael & Janet Jackson.

http://www.filmlinc.com/wrt/onsale/doc08/program14.html

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 14:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Sorry to back up a bit here, but, I have no idea what to think of No Country. thought I hated it - what was it for? The coin flipping thing and some scenes where characters were over explaining really annoyed me

pretty sure i don't recall anyone actually from minnesota getting upset by the lol what rubes character typing.

half my relatives talk like that, or used to until they moved out of rural minnesota and lost the minnewegian accents. far as I know everyone loves the movie.
http://flakmag.com/misc/images/hotdish1.jpg

daria-g, Friday, 18 January 2008 16:39 (sixteen years ago) link

Munich is a "so close" case for me. I would call Inland Empire something like great, tho. My last red film was Tropical Malady tho. That was a long while back.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:00 (sixteen years ago) link

At the time, Minnesotans seemed about evenly split by the Fargo caricatures. Half were offended, half were starstruck by a major sleeper hit-cum-Oscar nominee about their state.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Still think the best film I've seen in the past five years is Head-On, but Zodiac/Wind/No Country are all great films IMO (even if a second viewing was required for me to think that about the last.)

Alex in SF, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Eric, I'll give you some bad weed to push Munich over the line. (I really wish I could take notes at the Armond Q&A for you, but I think I have to see the Joe shorts tonight. AW vs AW!)

I think Malady only gets to green for me.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:11 (sixteen years ago) link

actually great movies of the last 5 years... dogville. i think there will be blood is close. (i don't have a problem calling it "great," but there are levels of great and it obviously has some problems.) goodbye dragon inn is pretty great, although i guess it barely sneaks into the last five years. the world is great-ish.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:32 (sixteen years ago) link

so is the holy girl.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:32 (sixteen years ago) link

There's a fine old thread where Eric takes me to task for saying I need never read a word by any critics who liked Dogville again!

(waived til at least I finish yr book)

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Armond thinks Mr. 3000 is one of the great movies of the last five years, so he's not completely insane.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:39 (sixteen years ago) link

There's a fine old thread where Eric takes me to task for saying I need never read a word by any critics who liked Dogville again!

Your recall is just as spooky as jaymc's.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:39 (sixteen years ago) link

haha see now hoberman's love of dogville is one of the things that keeps him in my "pay attention to" column. (and then he liked southland tales too, love you j.ho.)

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link

if i was a high school drama teacher i'd stage a production of dogville.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:47 (sixteen years ago) link

And it'd be BETTER!

xp: c'mon, i'm not even a contender! I only remember threads where ppl give me shit.

I saw Dogville at the 19th & B'way Loews on Good Friday. Cinematic Gethsemane.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:49 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't ignore J. Hoberman anymore if I wanted to. His columns are now a fixture in the City Pages.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:49 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: c'mon, i'm not even a contender! I only remember threads where ppl give me shit.

That's constitutes an amount of text that rivals In Search of Lost Time.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:50 (sixteen years ago) link

I LET YOU HAVE THAT ONE!

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:51 (sixteen years ago) link

jesus 'dogville' was bad: probably a more boneheaded non-critique of capitalism than 'there will be blood'.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:51 (sixteen years ago) link

x=post I know.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 17:52 (sixteen years ago) link

those movies aren't about capitalism. also not misanthropic. or anti-american. or whatever. also they both have very funny endings (although dogville's makes more sense).

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:54 (sixteen years ago) link

also i can only imagine the depth of loathing armond white feels for dogville. i don't remember if he reviewed it.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:55 (sixteen years ago) link

i have no idea what dogville's appeal is if it isn't to a kneejerk euro 'god aren't people cruel' misanthropy. 'twbbb' is at least a decent looking bit of film (as opposed to rehashing brecht) but equally naive politics-wise.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 18 January 2008 17:58 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: He did and maybe you can't imagine!

Also tipsy, we have to discuss the "ugly liberal anger" dinner scene in Huckabees. I found it exhilarating.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:00 (sixteen years ago) link

bingo: "one of the most fatuous movies ever made."

xp: yeah i love that scene.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:02 (sixteen years ago) link

kneejerk euro 'god aren't people cruel' misanthropy

hey this is why I couldn't make it through Berlin Alexanderplantz! people are evil and stupid and cruel zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* I guess the epilogue had some okay moments here and there

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:05 (sixteen years ago) link

dogville's appeal to me was that i thought it was v. entertaining. it was like a punk'd remake of the crucible.

and the staging device yes is a gimmick but really well done. i don't mind gimmicks, i just want people to know what they're doing with them. plus i could listen to john hurt's narration all day.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:05 (sixteen years ago) link

calling it a movie given the second-generation-vid look is a dollop of kindness tho.

Not all of them are ENTIRELY evil and stupid and cruel, Shakey! No more than the average Altman gallery.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:06 (sixteen years ago) link

and i totally read dogville as cautionary, not condemnatory. i.e. not "people are terrible," just "people can be terrible, so watch it." which is a totally sensible and not at all people-hating pov.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:08 (sixteen years ago) link

it was like a punk'd remake of the crucible.

OTM!

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 18:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Plus, Dogville had a lot of gorgeously processed shots in there too. Way more "filmic" than, I dunno, Crimson Gold or whatever also-great-but-butt-ugly-looking movies got big ups from lefty critics at the time.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 18:20 (sixteen years ago) link

maybe im a retard but all this 'truly great movie' stuff just brings me back to zodiac, which affected me like practically nothing else

and what, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link

punk'd adds sumthin?

post-The Kingdom, von Trier challenges my dogma(e) that being an asshole is irrelevant to one's artistry...

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link

And you were just praising David O. Russell a few posts up?

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link

I think the Kingdom is the only thing of his I've really dug. That Bjork movie was unwatchable (I think I have a hard time with completely unsympathetic protagonists - its no problem if the protagonist is evil/stupid/whatever as long as they're made interesting and relatable, but if they're not I just tune out...)

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:25 (sixteen years ago) link

'crimson gold' got in and got out, showed you a bit of tehran, did its thing. wouldn't watch it again. but 'dogville' was a real striver, and so long! i think LVT is weird about punishing women. honestly no idea what the film has to recommend it. preferred even 'it's all about love'.

xpost

maybe im a retard but all this 'truly great movie' stuff just brings me back to zodiac, which affected me like practically nothing else

-- and what, Friday, January 18, 2008 6:22 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

yeah me too. i don't usually care for truly great movies (it's kind of a vote for significance or what people in the future will think) but this was one.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:26 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: no, the ways in which Russell seems to be an asshole haven't surfaced in the films themselves, so far as I can tell.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:27 (sixteen years ago) link

LVT is weird about punishing women

^^^^ding ding ding. it gets really tiresome. also its mostly lacking from the Kingdom, which is perhaps why I enjoy that more.

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:28 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: no, the ways in which Russell seems to be an asshole haven't surfaced in the films themselves, so far as I can tell.

-- Dr Morbius, Friday, January 18, 2008 6:27 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

haha i had to make this argument to my editor this week when he aksed how i could like a director who was so nasty IRL.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:29 (sixteen years ago) link

also Eric, Jerry Lewis is kind of a fiend IRL. "women can't be funny" etc

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Hey, I'm all about asshole directors.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 18:34 (sixteen years ago) link

And anti-humanitarians.

Eric H., Friday, 18 January 2008 18:34 (sixteen years ago) link

some of LVT's films (dogville, breaking the waves, etc.) are more specifically about a woman's ability to transcend punishment. sexist maybe, but the characters are at least strong.

Cosmo Vitelli, Friday, 18 January 2008 18:52 (sixteen years ago) link

the wimmin-hatin' bothered me more in breaking the waves and dancer than dogville (the only one of the three where the victim gets revenge). his sadism does always feel gleeful, so my reaction to the movies partly depends on how much i'm willing to share in the glee. (otoh i prefer gleeful sadism to whatever kind you get from michael haneke, say.)

zodiac is really good. i need to see it again, like was said up above it keeps getting better in my head.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 19:41 (sixteen years ago) link

I liek Haneke and Von Triers so apparently I like mean europeans. YAY EUROPE!

Alex in SF, Friday, 18 January 2008 19:57 (sixteen years ago) link

how bout catherine breillat? she's pretty mean. (i don't like her much but am kind of interested in her new one.)

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 20:01 (sixteen years ago) link

I really draw the line at vaginal mega-closeups.

Dr Morbius, Friday, 18 January 2008 20:03 (sixteen years ago) link

i havent seen everything yet, but im with the zodiac backers...i can't imagine that it won't end up being the best film of the year for me.

and im not sure why "power corrupts" and "people are cruel" are considered naive politics?

ryan, Friday, 18 January 2008 20:09 (sixteen years ago) link

ethan is right, fargo is the best one.

i always suspect ppl who use the "smug" and "misanthropic" and "they hate their characters" stuff are responding more to reviews of the coens than the actual movies.

J.D., Friday, 18 January 2008 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean if you're still throwing down confident pronouncements about a movie you haven't seen since 1996 it's hard to believe you're that interested in engaging with something which you've already decided (judging from the quality of ppl who like it) is beneath you. but that's no surprise.

and jesus christ does every single fucking work of art have to be a renoir-esque celebration of life? so long, jonathan swift/ambrose bierce/flannery o'connor/joe orton/mike judge.

J.D., Friday, 18 January 2008 21:18 (sixteen years ago) link

mike judge eh

s1ocki, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

tried to sneak that one in there

s1ocki, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

going back - Morbs', you're repping for the worst scene in Huckabee. The kitchen scene about Jesus with the giant Hummer DO YOU SEE sign outside... ugh.

milo z, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth or Children of Men since the theater, but I think those were the last two new movies I'd call great. Before that, 25th Hour.

milo z, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:22 (sixteen years ago) link

children of men would be the last movie i loved before zodiac, but zodiac is better

pans labyrinth was tim burton/vertigo comix bullshit

and what, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:24 (sixteen years ago) link

crazy talk!

horseshoe, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:27 (sixteen years ago) link

i liked it ok esp capt vidale & the chekovian doctor but the goth fantasy crap was boring and gay

and what, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:29 (sixteen years ago) link

i thot children of men was pretty great but i have to say as much as i liked zodiac (a lot!) it wasnt my fave movie of the year by a long shot. but maybe i dont get what the criteria are? honestly i dont really like the "what was the last truly GREAT movie" conversation, it strikes me a useless excuse to show off and act like a dick

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:29 (sixteen years ago) link

honestly i dont really like the "what was the last truly GREAT movie" conversation ilx, it strikes me a useless excuse to show off and act like a dick

-- max, Friday, January 18, 2008 4:29 PM (32 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and what, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

lazy joek

and what, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:30 (sixteen years ago) link

pans labyrinth was fuckin great i thot, incl the boring gay goth fantasy

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

yes i loved the boring gay goth fantasy and i never go for stuff like that. it wasn't really a fantasy...OR WAS IT?

horseshoe, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:33 (sixteen years ago) link

fargo is so fucking good and lol @ morbius of ny arguing w/ southerners and midwesterners that fargo is offensive but raising arizon isnt

im standing halfway between and what and slocki here

deej, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:33 (sixteen years ago) link

i liked pans labyrinth until the end!! cant believe they felt the need to make sure you knew it was just her imagination

deej, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:34 (sixteen years ago) link

i didnt think it was that clear cut deej but i was really fucking high

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:36 (sixteen years ago) link

ha I was just about to say "that's precisely what wasn't made sure of!" but i wasn't sure i could talk about it clearly. pan's labyrinth is so cool about realism v. allegory.

horseshoe, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:37 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah listen to horseshoe shes smart

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean if you're still throwing down confident pronouncements about a movie you haven't seen since 1996

I've seen Raising Arizona twice in the last 6 months. It def condescends to its characters, its pretty mean-spirited throughout.

many x-posts

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

whatevs I'm just echoing you, dude!

xpost

horseshoe, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

to me it wasnt enough ambiguity .... there's that reveal shot where someone (some people? i forget) see her standing by herself while she sees herself w/ the goat dude that is pretty :-/

deej, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I would have liked it more if there was way more of the underworld crap

dmr, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:40 (sixteen years ago) link

actually my sense was less that it was clearly "goth fantasy is REAL" (or "goth fantasy is FAKE" for that matter) and more that it didnt really matter in the end--that searching for the hard truth of what "actually happened" is sort of antithetical to the movie's project

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:42 (sixteen years ago) link

i didn't think it was that clear either. it's kind of important morally that she refuses to sacrifice the baby, and if it's just her imagination then that didn't even happen, right? i guess part of the question is what you think paganism represents in the film.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:44 (sixteen years ago) link

so much of it is about the creation/projection of reality; everyone in the movie is creating their own world & purpose & ethics--to single out the girl's adventure as specifically up for debate in terms of real or unreal strikes me as unfair

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:45 (sixteen years ago) link

what you think paganism represents in the film

yeah and the structure of the film purposely muddies this, I think? god i want to rewatch it right now so i can make sure. so smartly made, i remember thinking.

horseshoe, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:46 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean purposely muddies the representational one-to-one-ness of the allegory.

horseshoe, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:47 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah its actually a really difficult movie to read

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:47 (sixteen years ago) link

for something that i thought was going to be a spanish kids movie when i bought my ticket

max, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:48 (sixteen years ago) link

everyone in the movie is creating their own world

right and the captain's world revolves around violence and torture and martyrdom, blood sacrifice handed down through generations, etc. very roman catholic. the pagan world though makes the girl re-enact isaac and abraham, with the twist that the key is in her refusal to make the sacrifice rather than her willingness to. which i don't think makes the movie just anti-catholic (although it is, arguably) so much as anti-authoritarian at a fundamental level.

tipsy mothra, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:51 (sixteen years ago) link

man i dunno max, i wanted it to be how yr describing but that reveal shot seemed to undercut it. Everyone else can affect their own reality except her, as a kid she's suffering under all these other forces, so it was like the story betrays her when they don't let her story stand on equal footing

deej, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:54 (sixteen years ago) link

i have to see it again

deej, Friday, 18 January 2008 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

i mean if you're still throwing down confident pronouncements about a movie you haven't seen since 1996 it's hard to believe you're that interested in engaging with something which you've already decided

Yeah JD, I'm not interested in "engaging with it" bcz I made up my mind as a 30+ year old about said film and don't have time to rewatch blah stuff cuz it won Oscars and is worshiped by Coen cultists - life's too short.

deej, what I'm arguing is RaisAriz is funny and touching and Fargo ain't. The End.

Dr Morbius, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:23 (sixteen years ago) link

the problem with Pan's Labyrinth was that the dude with eyes in his hands had less screen time than a stuttering freedom fighter. false advertising!

da croupier, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:28 (sixteen years ago) link

and no max, I'm not trying to act like a dick. When ppl say they saw 5 or 6 "great" American big-studio films this year, I just instinctively react Cheeee-rist, save that shit for ILM and albums. (normally I'd ask WHY IS IT GREAT, but ppl don't like to answer that)

Dr Morbius, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Dunno why people putting a stock anti-fascist story and a stock "little girl's metaphor fantasy" story together would add up to a great movie.

It was better than Lives Of Others, though.

da croupier, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:30 (sixteen years ago) link

I mean, at least it didn't have to have five "2 years later" scenes to seek that all important happy ending.

da croupier, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Pan's Labryinth and "Armond White" don't belong on the same thread.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

and im not sure why "power corrupts" and "people are cruel" are considered naive politics?

-- ryan, Friday, 18 January 2008 20:09 (Yesterday) Link

they're apolitical statements -- or, they lead, as in 'there will be blood', to Bad Emblematic Figures because the filmmakers are politically naive. so it's not capitalism, really, in 'dogville' or 'twbb', but mean people, not common economic exploitation that, in reality, is deemed acceptable, but (in 'dogville') really obvious and morally objectionable stuff that the bad people do. 'power corrupts' is kind of nihilistic; 'people are mean' -- yeah, if they get the chance, but these films don't get into that.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Saturday, 19 January 2008 17:47 (sixteen years ago) link

was sophocles politically naive? i mean, to argue ad absurdum, you can reduce the greeks and shakespeare to simpleminded thesis statements too. (stipulating that pta and lvt are not sophocles or shakespeare.) i agree that neither movie is as economically astute as something like ruby in paradise or the dardennes, but they're working on a different scale. dogville is in a social-fable tradition, brecht to arthur miller to whatever. twbb is in the american-tragedy tradition, dreiser to gatsby to kane etc. you could call both those traditions essentially naive if you wanted, but i wouldn't. and of course being in those traditions doesn't automatically make either movie good, although i think they both are -- because they are energetic and self-aware of their own traditions and imaginative in approaching them. (also because i was completely entertained by both of them.)

tipsy mothra, Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:13 (sixteen years ago) link

raising arizona is bullshit. dismissing fargo as "smug funny-accent travesty" and then riding for that garbage is psychotic

ethan I think it's time you switched to sanka

J0hn D., Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link

no the thing of shakespeare is, you can't do that, can't reduce things down to thesis positions. hard to bring him up without making the comparison, but plainview is not a full character the way shakespeare's were. obviously the mode of presentation is so different that the comparison is dicey anyway.

i would say 'dogville' is on about the same level, politically, as the dardennes -- ie pretty low. 'dogville' is probably better in that sense, in that it isn't vitiated by catholic mysticism. dardennes make films about poor people, but they don't have much in the way of socio-political insight. they make better films than LVT.

'kane' seems more politically smart (taking into account the circumstances it was made under) to me than 'twbb', 'gatsby' more psychologically true.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link

'raising arizona' is the coens' worst pre-'oh brother' film.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:25 (sixteen years ago) link

john goodman is pretty good as usual but yeeesh.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:26 (sixteen years ago) link

i like almost all the movies mentioned here except for raising arizona and dogville

latebloomer, Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:40 (sixteen years ago) link

i like food, it tastes good

latebloomer, Saturday, 19 January 2008 18:43 (sixteen years ago) link

"When ppl say they saw 5 or 6 "great" American big-studio films this year, I just instinctively react Cheeee-rist, save that shit for ILM and albums."

Yeah good job policing what folks like, Morbs. You stay on that.

Alex in SF, Saturday, 19 January 2008 19:15 (sixteen years ago) link

I seriously have no idea what qualifies as being "great cinema" for you Morbs, but one thing I am completely clear on is that whatever elusive quality it may be it's not something that I give much of a shit about or would expect most other people to.

Alex in SF, Saturday, 19 January 2008 19:16 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't read Morbs as taking issue with quality so much as quantity. Rather than reserving 'great' for something mind-blowing, it gets tacked on to a bunch of films (even when they might account for a fifth of what someone saw in a year) because they're reasonably well-made and because there's so much shit out there in general.

milo z, Saturday, 19 January 2008 19:28 (sixteen years ago) link

'kane' seems more politically smart (taking into account the circumstances it was made under) to me than 'twbb', 'gatsby' more psychologically true.

definitely. i'm just saying that's twbb's self-conscious lineage. he's playing with that form. and i know, i'm always suspicious of people saying things like "oh it's not meant to be xxxx" by way of excusing something for not being xxxx, BUT plainview is not exactly a character study. more like an archetype. so the lack of depth just didn't seem like an issue to me. he's a sort of monolithic game piece on a monumental board. the movie seems to me more about the force of his action than the nuances of his character. but that's a subjective thing; to me the movie was kind of like getting steamrolled or bulldozed, and that was exciting, i don't get bulldozed at movies very often. if you didn't feel bulldozed, or object to bulldozing on principle, it would be a different experience.

tipsy mothra, Saturday, 19 January 2008 19:55 (sixteen years ago) link

(and to take that a step further, pta's and ddl's bulldozing approach mirror plainview's; the movie's an example of what it's about)

tipsy mothra, Saturday, 19 January 2008 19:57 (sixteen years ago) link

"I don't read Morbs as taking issue with quality so much as quantity."

Yes, the fact that it's a semantic argument makes it a bunch better. . . wait no it doesn't and it doesn't change anything I said.

Alex in SF, Saturday, 19 January 2008 20:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Except you were talking about the 'qualities of a great film' and what they are for Morbs.

milo z, Saturday, 19 January 2008 20:19 (sixteen years ago) link

And apparently one of those qualities is rarity. I can see how that really changes things a lot.

Alex in SF, Saturday, 19 January 2008 22:55 (sixteen years ago) link

I mean what this really comes down to is Morbs feeling that overt enthusiasm is basically unseemly when talking about film and should be reserved only for the most magnificent of Spielberg's creations and not some crap churned out by David Fincher.

Alex in SF, Saturday, 19 January 2008 22:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Imagine a world where every ILE film thread turns into a debate about the relative merits of Bamako, Offside and Away from Her.

what a snobbish thing to say. i haven't seen bamako, i loved offside (shouldn't it be "offsides"), and away from her felt stilted and unimaginative. it didn't move me.

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 11:15 (sixteen years ago) link

offsides (plural) is hockey right? soccer is singular?

s1ocki, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link

sures

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:51 (sixteen years ago) link

re the "great" standard, that's a perpetual problem right? movies, records, books, whatever, people get very hung up on calling something great. (i had a related debate with some friends not long ago about the word "genius.") i'm cautious about it too, but maybe not as cautious as some. "great" seems like a pretty broad category itself -- there are forms and degrees of greatness. you can obviously have a great performance in an ok film, or a great film that still has some flaws. but if you have enough accumulated experience of movies or music or whatever, it doesn't seem unreasonable to me to call things great if they strike you as great. great films and music are rare, but they're not like vanishingly rare; with the amount of stuff being produced every year, the likelihood that you'll see something great if you pay enough attention is really pretty good. (unless you're going to argue that there are fewer than one or two great movies made a year, in which case you'd be arguing that there are fewer than 100 or 200 great films period, which i just don't think is true at all.)

i have one friend who refuses to call anything "great" until it's had some time -- 10 or 20 years -- to prove its greatness. i guess that's one way to do it. otoh, my point to him is that a lot of stuff that ends up being considered great 10 or 20 years later -- or 50 or 75 -- is stuff that was also called great when it first appeared. and that the reputation it accrues as it goes is partly built on that initial enthusiasm. obv. not true for everything -- some things get hype and then fade (although often to be rediscovered later), some things aren't noticed much at first and then find champions later, etc. but none of that negates the critical project at the front end, it just means its part of an evolutionary process.

tipsy mothra, Sunday, 20 January 2008 20:46 (sixteen years ago) link

(it's, in that last sentence. sorry.)

tipsy mothra, Sunday, 20 January 2008 20:47 (sixteen years ago) link

although i do also think the passage of time provides interesting critical perspective, which is why some of my favorite criticism is of reissues or retrospectives.

tipsy mothra, Sunday, 20 January 2008 20:50 (sixteen years ago) link

out of the 50-100 non-random films i choose see annually, i am willing to bet that between 3-5 movies will be hands-down 'great' by the standards of any sane person.

remy bean, Sunday, 20 January 2008 21:36 (sixteen years ago) link

of those 3-5, i will probably think 2 or 3 re great in a few years, but i will have upgraded the status of another 1 or 2, and also seen on video at least a few i would like to add to that (past) year's cinematic hall of fame.

+/-500 movies in the history of the art form is not really overenthusiastic, or undiscriminating.

remy bean, Sunday, 20 January 2008 21:40 (sixteen years ago) link

indiscriminatory, even

remy bean, Sunday, 20 January 2008 22:25 (sixteen years ago) link

i think 'indiscriminate' is what you're looking for

gabbneb, Sunday, 20 January 2008 22:38 (sixteen years ago) link

seventeen hours of my weekend have been devoted to editing, and yet i somehow manage to insert six typoes and three syntactical errors in a forty-word post. i need sleep. :(

remy bean, Sunday, 20 January 2008 23:13 (sixteen years ago) link

unless you're going to argue that there are fewer than one or two great movies made a year, in which case you'd be arguing that there are fewer than 100 or 200 great films period, which i just don't think is true at all.

Unless I'm willing to argue that the Great Rate has slowed in recent years because the commercial (ie, anything that's exhibited for profit) narrative film is suffering from burnout/exhaustion/Everything's Been Sorta Done after a century. Which I might be! I think I could find 6-10 great films from every year in the '50s.

Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 23 January 2008 15:03 (sixteen years ago) link

seventeen hours of my weekend have been devoted to editing, and yet i somehow manage to insert six typoes and three syntactical errors in a forty-word post. i need sleep. :(

-- remy bean, Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:13 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

s1ocki, Wednesday, 23 January 2008 15:15 (sixteen years ago) link

three months pass...

He's started a new shitstorm!

Critical babble doesn’t talk about what matters, but it sustains Ten Current Film Culture Fallacies:

1)“The Three Amigos” Iñárritu, Cuarón and del Toro are Mexico’s greatest filmmakers while Julian Hernandez is ignored.

2) Gus Van Sant is the new Visconti when he’s really the new Fagin, a jailbait artful dodger.

3) Documentaries ought to be partisan rather than reportorial or observational.

4) Chicago, Moulin Rouge and Dreamgirls equal the great MGM musicals.

5) Paul Verhoeven’s social satire Showgirls was camp while Cronenberg’s campy melodramas are profound.

6) Brokeback Mountain was a breakthrough while all other gay-themed movies were ignored.

7) Todd Haynes’ academic dullness is anything but.

8) Dogma was a legitimate film movement.

9) Only non-pop Asian cinema from J-horror to Hou Hsiao Hsien counts, while Chen Kaige, Zhang Yimou and Stephen Chow are rejected.

10) Mumblecore matters.

http://daily.greencine.com/archives/005869.html

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:19 (sixteen years ago) link

he can't even stick to his formal conceit

Brokeback Mountain was a breakthrough while all other gay-themed movies were ignored.

Only non-pop Asian cinema from J-horror to Hou Hsiao Hsien counts, while Chen Kaige, Zhang Yimou and Stephen Chow are rejected.

unless he's saying these statements are actually fallacies!

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Gus Van Sant is the new Visconti when he’s really the new Fagin, a jailbait artful dodger.

is this just a gay-bashing thing? apart from them being gay, what links these two? GVT is kind of minimalist when he's allowed to be. but for visconti not so much with the minimalism.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

3) Documentaries ought to be partisan rather than reportorial or observational.

how is this a fallacy? since when? and what does it even mean?

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't even understand what he's saying in 9). Stephen Chow's been rejected? In what world?

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:33 (sixteen years ago) link

4) Chicago, Moulin Rouge and Dreamgirls equal the great MGM musicals.

oscar voters != film culture

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:33 (sixteen years ago) link

8) Dogma was a legitimate film movement.

ok this is a funny zing because dogme was probably the lamest film movement since the 'cinema du look', but to say it wasn't 'legitimate' begs some big questions.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:35 (sixteen years ago) link

He's mentally ill isn't he?

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:35 (sixteen years ago) link

"Neil Jordan’s sensitive, imaginative The Brave One"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Re Chow, he apparently means celebrated by critics to the extent Hou is. How he measures these thing I can't say.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:36 (sixteen years ago) link

It's Armondworld, and he just lives in it.

C. Grisso/McCain, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:38 (sixteen years ago) link

HE MEASURES IT WITH THE CELEBRA-METER!

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:39 (sixteen years ago) link

it's pretty nit-picky stuff, not exacty the tablets of stone. if he done something like "1. long takes are interesting" (w/r/t taiwanese cinema) or "2. politics is better when done indirectly" (cf crit-jizz on TWBB; negative reaction to all the films directly about the war), then there'd be something at least to talk about. but "critics overpraise dreamgirls and mumblecore" is zzzzzzzzzz

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link

god the brave one was the worst piece of shit ever, utterly inexcusable and vile

s1ocki, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:48 (sixteen years ago) link

Typical critic slocki you are just missing the imagination in it.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Armond's right though about the NYT's ball-licking Ebert profile a couple of weekends ago.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:54 (sixteen years ago) link

So what? A stopped watch, etc.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Fagin, a jailbait artful dodger

this doesnt even make sense

max, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:58 (sixteen years ago) link

fagin was not the artful dodger

max, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:58 (sixteen years ago) link

also not jailbait

max, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:58 (sixteen years ago) link

wtf is mumblecore

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 24 April 2008 16:59 (sixteen years ago) link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f4/Mutual_appreciation.jpg

sleep, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:01 (sixteen years ago) link

^^ really good movie

s1ocki, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:02 (sixteen years ago) link

that looks horrible

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:05 (sixteen years ago) link

i thought maybe it had something to do with casey affleck

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:05 (sixteen years ago) link

Glenn Kenny to Armond White: "You think you're applying some form of moral rigor to your work, but the fact is that you're a bully and a hypocrite, and I don't want to know you." Comments ensue.

"Armond's deeply confused screed makes me glad I quit the Press so that I don't have to attempt to explain to people out of professional courtesy what point he thought he was trying to make," writes Matt Zoller Seitz in a comment at the House Next Door. "My admiration for Armond's originality and the impact of his 1980s and 90s writing on my own have been detailed at length here many times, so I won't rehash it again. Cutting to the chase: It has become increasingly and sadly clear in recent years that Armond's as much the establishment as AO Scott, in that he derives much of his impact from the institutional weight of a print publication and from the insulated status that this one-way model of communication affords." There's more.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:05 (sixteen years ago) link

I assumed Mumblecore was like Thumbsucker or Me You Everyone or whatever.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:06 (sixteen years ago) link

"My admiration for Armond's originality and the impact of his 1980s and 90s writing on my own have been detailed at length here many times"

Was Armond good once? I find that hard to believe.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:08 (sixteen years ago) link

dude, in that column he praised Bowsley Crowther!

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:09 (sixteen years ago) link

*Bosley

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:10 (sixteen years ago) link

i think armond white was pretty good when he wz mainly writin abt music in the late 80s -- or at least i thought so then

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:13 (sixteen years ago) link

where's the kenny quote from, al

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:14 (sixteen years ago) link

it's from the greencine link Morbs posted.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Points at which I actually agree with Armond: well, only 5 and 7 I guess. Damn, even I was hoping at least one more of those were true.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:16 (sixteen years ago) link

Kenny responding to commenters on his blog:

White's schtick is that only he has the perception, the judgment, and the moral vision to see through it all; this, in his mind, excuses his incivility...no, to hell with it, it's not incivility, it's simple snickering haughty mean-spiritedness. And I feel sorry (among other things) for anybody who insists on mistaking it for brilliant contrarianism.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:16 (sixteen years ago) link

The link

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:17 (sixteen years ago) link

White's schtick is that only he has the perception, the judgment, and the moral vision to see through it all; this, in his mind, excuses his incivility...no, to hell with it, it's not incivility, it's simple snickering haughty mean-spiritedness. And I feel sorry (among other things) for anybody who insists on mistaking it for brilliant contrarianism.

i cant think of anyone on ilx like this

max, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:18 (sixteen years ago) link

especially not on the primaries thread, no sir

max, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:18 (sixteen years ago) link

wtf @ three amigos

also how is J-horror not pop cinema. or do I not understand what pop means

dmr, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:20 (sixteen years ago) link

he's just creating fictional issues in order to make himself look better. if he was a hou hsiao hsien fan and a stephen chow basher he could more easily make the case that the latter is overpraised and the former is almost completely ignored, since chow gets nothing but love and hhh seems to get press from the film comment sect.

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:28 (sixteen years ago) link

9) Only non-pop Asian cinema from J-horror to Hou Hsiao Hsien counts, while Chen Kaige, Zhang Yimou and Stephen Chow are rejected.

i can't speak on chow, but chen kaige and zhang yimou were getting a lot of critical love back in the 80s and early 90s; they were far from rejected. iirc zhang has basically turned to doing massive epic films now like those two miramax overpaid for. yeah they've gone out of fashion, but that one 'hero' film just didn't have a lot going for it.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:33 (sixteen years ago) link

yes, Armond wrote well, regularly, in the '90s for sure.

just wait til November, max. (oh, i'm THE meanspirited one on ILX, am i?)

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Points at which I actually agree with Armond: well, only 5 and 7 I guess.

I'm Not There, DVD May 6

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

5) Paul Verhoeven’s social satire Showgirls was camp while Cronenberg’s campy melodramas are profound.

pretty half-and-half on this.

the polemical value of boosting mid-90s verhoeven has just about run its course now.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm really glad I never think to use phrases like "polemical value."

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:41 (sixteen years ago) link

oh BURN

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:42 (sixteen years ago) link

actually i think the moore review has the ghost of a really strong idea in it -- getting at mm's (vast) flaws via godard's political reading of the edit -- but to make it fly AW'd have had to a. identify how "politics of the edit" operates (he does this a bit but not in a usable way), b. identify how "politics of the edit" manifests in critical writing, ie establish his own inability to be objective (by virtue of being a writer; by virtue of the need to make sentences and paragraphs from his thoughts and responses) and c. cut it away from his own moral jihad against "corruptin pop culture", which is kinda completely an irrelevance to the godardian argt

as it is i don't think AW understands godard any better than momus understands brecht

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link

the polemical value of boosting mid-90s verhoeven has just about run its course now.

I proudly championed Showgirls before, while and after it was hip to do so.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I think with #5, AW is inarticulately trying to point out that it's a mistake to read the praise for Showgirls purely in terms of it's "polemical value".

C0L1N B..., Thursday, 24 April 2008 17:57 (sixteen years ago) link

mind you, when people say it's camp i think they mean 'in a good way', right? not that this feels like a particularly pressing argument to be having in 2008.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:00 (sixteen years ago) link

haha i wz discussin w.dave q last night how the unisex locker-room scene is the only bit of starship troopers which is true to heinlein's original utopian political vision

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:03 (sixteen years ago) link

= pressing is as pressing does, i guess

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:05 (sixteen years ago) link

Eric, if I watch Showgirls will you watch I'm Not There?

Camp is not supposed to be consciously artful, hence AW is accusing hipsters of underappreciating Showgirls.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:06 (sixteen years ago) link

it is Ten Current Film Culture Fallacies -- tho i might have missed some recent 'showgirls in retrospect: it's no madame butterfly!' pieces.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Eric, if I watch Showgirls will you watch I'm Not There?

... No?

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:09 (sixteen years ago) link

I guess I understand the Verhoeven part of that item but I don't see much camp in Cronenberg. unless he just means homoeroticism.

dmr, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:09 (sixteen years ago) link

'i'm not there' is awes, eric.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:10 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah, how else can you keep your contempt for Haynes' academiciousness up to date?

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:10 (sixteen years ago) link

(Eric hates music made w/ guitars except for Prince. weird.)

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't have to listen to Love & Theft to keep my contempt for Dylan up to date.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:11 (sixteen years ago) link

And I prefer Prince's synth era greatly to his guitar era.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:11 (sixteen years ago) link

early cburg is fairly schlocky if that's the same as camp -- he cooled that out after naked lunch, by goin for flattened ballardian boringness mostly

i like em but i'm an idiot

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:13 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't listen to Dylan's music hardly ever, it's not a prereq. How often do nrq and I agree?

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:14 (sixteen years ago) link

That's what has me skeptical.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:15 (sixteen years ago) link

ooh i will add my vote to "i'm not there" fandom

(but i like dylan) (see "idiot" claim)

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:15 (sixteen years ago) link

a Mark appearance!

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:16 (sixteen years ago) link

i am busy pimpin my radioshow alfred:
"a bite of stars a slug of time and THOU" (key word in caps)

it also features mr tracer hand, dave q and (possibly) discussion of heinlein abt sex...

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:18 (sixteen years ago) link

early cburg is fairly schlocky if that's the same as camp

I guess that's true .... I assumed he was talking about the more recent ones (HOV and Eastern Promises) but Showgirls is 90s so who knows

dmr, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Eric hasn't listened to Disco Dylan, apparently.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Whatever you do, mark, don't say "cunt" -- it upsets Tracer.

The King of Comedy for Showgirls, then.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:21 (sixteen years ago) link

At the risk of killing a nice running joke, deal.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:23 (sixteen years ago) link

a lot of the post-mortems on 'i'm not there''s lack of b.o. have basically said it's for dylan fans only. i don't know if this is true because i liked it and i like dylan, but no-one claims of (visual) artist biopics that you have to be a fan to get it.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:25 (sixteen years ago) link

it's more knowing the intricacies of the dylanmyth i think than the songs

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:32 (sixteen years ago) link

at least it seemed to me that might be a barrier if you weren't a little bit up on em

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:35 (sixteen years ago) link

On which planet would I'm Not There have been a box office hit?

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 18:39 (sixteen years ago) link

the boomers do rule this country, i'd have expected it to do all right

gff, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:04 (sixteen years ago) link

and there are some pretty big-name stars in it ... and far from heaven was up for oscars ....

I expected it to at least be an art-house hit but it came and went in abt 2 seconds

dmr, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Did it go over well with boomers? I enthusiastically recommended it to my parents and they hated it so much that they didn't tell me they saw it until months later when I asked.

C0L1N B..., Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:11 (sixteen years ago) link

A "straightforward" Dylan pic starring, oh, Emile Hirsch? a la Walk the Line might've had a shot. But, as the Haynes movie conjectures, no one knows who Dylan is. (it's a yuk that Ledger is a star of a Dylan biopic within the film)

Far From Heaven was up for Oscars bcz the Academy ignored (or didn't register) the subtext and Brechtian agenda.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:12 (sixteen years ago) link

I meant, no one knows who Dylan is in the sense that everyone now knows Johnny Cash was a dark soul rescued from pills n booze by the love of Reese Witherspoon.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:14 (sixteen years ago) link

no one knows who Dylan is in the sense that everyone now knows that Ray Charles was black.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Far From Heaven was up for Oscars bcz the Academy ignored (or didn't register) the subtext and Brechtian agenda.

ha ha ha ha

gff, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:18 (sixteen years ago) link

armond white is a terrible human being

latebloomer, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:19 (sixteen years ago) link

it's more knowing the intricacies of the dylanmyth i think than the songs

-- mark s, Thursday, April 24, 2008 7:32 PM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

at least it seemed to me that might be a barrier if you weren't a little bit up on em

-- mark s, Thursday, April 24, 2008 7:35 PM (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yea probably. i walked in telling my friends (also dylan fans) that i'm SO NOT a dylan fanboy and have NEVER HEARD anything he did post-'basement tapes' (whereas they have); but when we came out i was like "oh well that sort of relates to..." and they were all o_O. i guess this comes down to me being in denial about being a fanboy.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 19:32 (sixteen years ago) link

i can't speak on chow, but chen kaige and zhang yimou were getting a lot of critical love back in the 80s and early 90s; they were far from rejected. iirc zhang has basically turned to doing massive epic films now like those two miramax overpaid for. yeah they've gone out of fashion, but that one 'hero' film just didn't have a lot going for it.

-- banriquit, Thursday, April 24, 2008 5:33 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

chen kaige and zhang yimou were like the freakin' STEREOTYPICAL adored foreign film directors in the 90s!!! and ya they both make horrible movies now... for whatever it's worth

s1ocki, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:43 (sixteen years ago) link

exactly

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:43 (sixteen years ago) link

has anyone else seen "Manufacturing Dissent", a doc on Michael Moore.....it was pretty daming and didn't seem to be a right wing hack job or anything...

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:45 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah muggins 'ere had to review it. a lot of it was pretty useless, some of it was true: none of the true stuff was new, though. the biggest scoop came from an article published in 'premiere' in 1990. the makers' USP is "it's not a right-wing hack job", but it also follows one of the RWHJs by doing the "LOLLL MICHAEL MOORE WON'T BE INTERVIEWED" tactic.

im not a big moore fan at all but the doc made me like him.

they do have a couple good points about 'roger and me' but nothing that justified a 90-minute-long theatrically released film.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:49 (sixteen years ago) link

chen kaige and zhang yimou ... and ya they both make horrible movies now...

Curse of the Golden Flower was a delightful sword-and-queue spectacle, I thought.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:51 (sixteen years ago) link

didn't see that one! "together" was pretty awful though. as were hero and house of flying daggers.

s1ocki, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:55 (sixteen years ago) link

"The film also presents extended footage of the Al Smith annual memorial dinner from which Moore, in Fahrenheit 9/11, took a clip of President George W. Bush greeting the guests as the "haves and have-mores", insinuating that President Bush views the elite upper-class as his constituency, not the average American. The extended footage shows each speaker at the dinner poking fun at himself, including a clip of Al Gore joking that he invented the Internet. It is argued that the extended footage shows Moore to have taken the quote from President Bush out of context.[2]"

^^^^ thought this was made pretty obvious in Moore's movie?

milo z, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:57 (sixteen years ago) link

house of flying daggers had some awesome scenes but there wasn't much of a story, and what story did exist just seemed like an excuse for him to stage that shit.

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 20:58 (sixteen years ago) link

fairly sure the "manufacturing dissent" guy is a lefty -- mm is by no means unreservedly loved on the far left (alex cockburn has called him a brownshirt irrc)

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:00 (sixteen years ago) link

michael moore tends to perform no service other than preaching to the choir and pissing off the right

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:01 (sixteen years ago) link

xp: how many good genre movies don't have much of a story?

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:02 (sixteen years ago) link

i would have liked just a little more of a story than what was there...i don't even remember the point of it, tbh. i did sort of like it while i was watching it, because it was certainly very well done.

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:04 (sixteen years ago) link

^^^^ thought this was made pretty obvious in Moore's movie?

-- milo z, Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:57 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

even if it wasn't, this was the most cackhandedly earnest bullshit -- omfg! satirist takes quote out of context! they got it wrong there.

fairly sure the "manufacturing dissent" guy is a lefty

yeah they basically are (it's a twosome).

they could have hit moore a lot harder on stuff like the 'saudis own america' b.s. in 'fahrenheit', but they instead mostly make it about moore being an egotist (iirc).

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

but moore's thing is he doesn't just want to preach to the choir, isn't it? hence man-of-the-people act, which the makers of 'manufacturing dissent' says is weak and hypocritical.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Far From Heaven was up for Oscars bcz the Academy ignored (or didn't register) the subtext and Brechtian agenda.

I'm sorry, was there actually anything else in that movie?

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:07 (sixteen years ago) link

i think whatever moore's intent is--and i think his intentions are what you say--the way his work is perceived depends upon your party affiliation. which may have as much to do with the current political climate but probably isn't helped by his persona!

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:09 (sixteen years ago) link

After actually buckling down and reading the latest Armond tirade, I'm left eerily indifferent. Speaking purely solipsistically, he's right that the function of film criticism has been degraded. I can't even read Armond and feel much anymore. So I guess you could say that White's writing is responsible for killing my interest in film criticism.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:10 (sixteen years ago) link

i will read it at some point but the guy is such a pseud. there is no such thing as the "Vachel Lindsay-Manny Farber tradition", it's a practically meaningless phrase. (also manny is great so stfu.)

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Yah seriously, if Manny Farber is supposed to be considered un-great, then the institution is not worth defending.

Eric H., Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

you should read my book abt "if...." eric!

(can't stop bein shameless today it seems)

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

naming a critic most people have not heard of (vachel lindsay) gives his essay that bit of heft and 'historical perspective' i suppose. speaking as someone whose 'job' it is to read vast volumes of old film crit, i don't think this is an era particularly notable for bad film writing.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:16 (sixteen years ago) link

wasn't vachel lindsay famous in his day for treating film as if it wasn't just theatre on screen? -- which presumably means most other film writers back then DID, hence weren't much cop

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:21 (sixteen years ago) link

actually i know dick abt him except he wrote a poem called "the congo" and liked jazz and pere ubu's "voice of the sand" is based on another poem

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:26 (sixteen years ago) link

wasn't vachel lindsay famous in his day for treating film as if it wasn't just theatre on screen? -- which presumably means most other film writers back then DID, hence weren't much cop

-- mark s, Thursday, April 24, 2008 10:21 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

pretty much yeah. (part of the thing here is that lots of films in the early 1910s WERE like theatre on screen! deliberately!) it's more that he was practically one of the first Serious Writers to Take Film Seriously. there really weren't many film critics in the modern sense at the time. he was one of a tiny number of people who wrote perceptively about d w griffith (not a theatre-on-screen guy) at the time, as he was working, in the 1910s.

(the thing about film-should-not-be-filmed-theatre is, it turned into film-should-have-no-points-of-contact-with-theatre, in the '20s...)

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:27 (sixteen years ago) link

After actually buckling down and reading the latest Armond tirade, I'm left eerily indifferent. Speaking purely solipsistically, he's right that the function of film criticism has been degraded. I can't even read Armond and feel much anymore. So I guess you could say that White's writing is responsible for killing my interest in film criticism

Isn't every serious film critic supposed to write about the Death of Film Criticism? Pauline Kael wrote one every two years.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:34 (sixteen years ago) link

What annoys me is taking Bosley Crowther (there's revisionism for ya) over decent mediocrity Roger Ebert. I'm not sure what this is supposed to represent, other than Armond's being "difficult" again.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:37 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm not sure I've ever even heard of Vachel Lindsay before today.

Eric, a friend of mine (thirtyish Canadian female) hasn't seen any Sirk, so aside from the obvious '50s stylings I think she mostly took Far from Heaven at face value, and loved it. So it's possible there WAS more to it.

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

haha I always interpret Vachel Lindsay's legacy as "terrible poet, good film critic," though I've read two examples of each.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:41 (sixteen years ago) link

what was in Far from Heaven that wasn't at 'face value'? i thought the point of sirkyness was that everything is direct and out in the open? it's not like the shit was subtle

gff, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:44 (sixteen years ago) link

the hairdos were at war with the wallpaper

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 21:58 (sixteen years ago) link

the most offensive idea on this thread is that Hero and House of Flying Daggers are "awful"! they are his best two movies...

i used to defend White a lot...but i frankly can't even understand what he's talking about these days....

Far From Heaven was terrrrrible...I'm Not There is good tho...

ryan, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:07 (sixteen years ago) link

iirc 'house of... flying daggers' wasn't even rejected by critics, armond's just being weird. again, not that this kind of carping has any place in a 'film criticism ain't what it used to be' article. cultural pessimism was so much better in the '90s.

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:31 (sixteen years ago) link

iirc 'house of... flying daggers' wasn't even rejected by critics

Yes, but they weren't real film critics.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:34 (sixteen years ago) link

b-but he said that the FALLACY was they were rejected

(i think: it's a fkn confusin way to make a point)

mark s, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:35 (sixteen years ago) link

i love this:

...critics’ faves There Will Be Blood, In the Valley of Elah, Redacted, Rendition and The Kingdom

b/c everyone loved those last three unreservedly

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Did anyone love those last FOUR at all?

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:46 (sixteen years ago) link

i think a lot of people liked ITVOE and ebert liked rendition. no one liked the other two iirc

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I remember most people thinking both were pretty flawed and the general consensus was undeniably pretty meh all around.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:48 (sixteen years ago) link

Let's put it this way, I don't think any of those four movies were in the top 20 (or maybe even 50) critically lauded films from last year. That kind of takes 'em out of the realm of critic's favs for me.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:49 (sixteen years ago) link

going by metacritic's stats, which ranks 594 films from '07 on their site, this is where they place:

205 - in the valley of elah
310 - the kingdom
320 - rendition
357 - redacted

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:04 (sixteen years ago) link

CLEARLY SO LOVED!

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:05 (sixteen years ago) link

he was suggesting those films were praised by critics while others such as shotgun stories, which is #20 out of 146 for 2008 thus far, have been bashed/ignored/whatever.

i find it a little disingenuous of course for him to go on for years about critics bashing de palma when they actually tend to like him for the most part, and then to turn around and wonder why they praise him unreservedly when in fact not a single person on the planet liked 'redacted' as far as i know.

omar little, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Well obv (except for TWBB) they weren't praised very much (except in ARMONDWHITESMIND!)

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:14 (sixteen years ago) link

ok reading it

- print crix whaling on bloggers: zzzzzz who cares? internetters are not 'undermining the (cough) professionalism' of the big dogs.
- he doesn't know what he's talking about and confuses lots of things. it doesn't seem obvious to me that reportage on b.o. has "replaced" the kind of criticism he's talking about -- hasn't it supplemented it?
- "the crisis of contemporary film criticism is that critics don’t discuss movies in ways that matter. Reviewers no longer bother connecting movies to political or moral ideas." i almost feel the exact opposite is more of a problem, but i also don't think he verifies this point at all.
- "the crippling social tendency that 1990s sociologists called Denial." o_O
- "The most powerful, politically and morally engaged recent films (The Darjeeling Limited..." he's fucking with us.
- "...Private Fears in Public Places, World Trade Center, The Promise, Shortbus, Ask the Dust, Akeelah and the Bee, Bobby, Running Scared, Munich, War of the Worlds, Vera Drake) were all ignored by journalists" he's fucking with us
- "only movies that are mendacious, pseudo-serious, sometimes immoral or socially retrograde and irresponsible (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, Army of Shadows, United 93, Marie Antoinette, Zodiac, Last Days, There Will Be Blood, American Gangster, Gone Baby Gone, Letters From Iwo Jima, A History of Violence, Tarnation, Elephant) have received critics’ imprimatur." he sort of needs, at this point, to explain how 'zodiac' is "immoral" or how '4 months' is "mendacious" or how 'army of shadows' is "socially retrograde". or how 'american gangster' has "received critics’ imprimatur".
- "That there isn’t a popular hit among any of these films proves how critics have failed to rouse the moviegoing public in any direction." i thought we were meant to be above quoting the b.o.?
- "You can’t praise the Pirates of the Caribbean movies or the Bourne movies and then expect benumbed thrill-riders to sit still for A Prairie Home Companion, Neil Young: Heart of Gold or Munich." right, because you can't enjoy more than one kind of movie.
- "A generation of readers and filmgoers were once sparked by the discourse created by Pauline Kael and Andrew Sarris during the period that essayist Philip Lopate described as ìthe heroic era of moviegoing.î The desire to be a critic fulfilled the urge to respond to what was exciting in the culture." lol boomer nostalgia -- do your homework.
- lays into ebert, who is at least not a menk and can write entertainingly
- what exactly is white's claim to 'professionalism'? what is it? he doesn't strike me as very knowledgeable on, say, film aesthetics or film history? he doesn't have to be, to be a critic, perhaps, but what does he mean?
- article degenerates into incoherency when he starts on about bosley crowther vs village voice
- "It’s entertainment—weakly." it's a clever play-on-words.
- heh, heh, heh he thinks mike leigh is a socialist
- "Hollywood’s emphasis on impersonal product then holds sway over art. Ideas get smothered in formula, and hype becomes the language of so-called discourse." he has spent much of the review defending hollywood against elitism. that passage could be from any piece of criticism from the last 90 years -- literally.
- "Does the training of movie critics matter if they aren’t taught to preserve the idea that movies must affirm our humanity?" "training"?

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Never seen this film. Bet it's top-notch. Gonna print out banriquit's post & take it into the cinema with me. Then I'm gonna sit on it.

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:42 (sixteen years ago) link

i just post for myself and if anyone else likes it, that's a bonus

banriquit, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:44 (sixteen years ago) link

That's a shitty attitude.

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:46 (sixteen years ago) link

Benjamin Franklin on John Adams:

"He means well for his Country, and is always an honest Man, often a Wise One, but sometimes and in some things, absolutely out of his senses."

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Friday, 25 April 2008 00:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I loved when he said that V FOR VENDETTA was a forgotten film, unaware that by name-checking it and assuming readers would know what he was on about, it kinda isn't quite that forgotten.

I think he's gone, well, mental with his hysteric modifying words. The 'decline' in 'film culture' (whatever that is, aside from the ivory tower in hi head) is a "CALAMITY!", a "TRAGEDY!"

ALL film writers who are not Armond White are regularly labeled "idiots", "stupid", and far worse. He can't resist a sentence without sideswipes like "of course, this is the sort of tripe that gullible, idiot reviewers will worship" (i paraphrase; I'm not pathological enough to mimic him properly.) THEN he goes on to, for the nth time, to explain to other idiots--his readers--how DePalma's MISSION TO MARS was one of the greatest films ever, if only you nitwits could understand the things only White can understand. Then he'll try to browbeat you into understanding that NORBIT was not only funny--White thinks humor can be beaten into you--but that it was the greatest movie about race ever. Or silicone fat suits ever; I forget.

A film can't just be, you know, not-great and its makers just some folks who failed to make a good film--oh no: These films are a THREAT!!!!! to, uh, everything and their makers evil cabalists who meet fortnightly at some unspecified dark ceremony where, after donning black robes with pictures of Kubrick as they plan, chortling, their latest stealth attack on Film Culture.

It's remarkable how he shrieks about Nicole Kidman--who he despises with a very discomforting zeal--being a despicable careerist--imagine, a professional wanting a career, wanting to work, what a skank--and then falls on his knees to worship the latest Spielberg Oedipal reenactment, making arcane claims of assorted genius that would have old Steve going WTF??? THEN he gushes about the brilliant nuance Tom Cruise brought to, er, WAR OF THE WORLDS, make us this what you will.

Not only does he evidence zero understanding about filmmaking technique or acting, he's so far up his own shimmeringly astute posterior that he honestly thinks that the reason movies don't make it is because the Evil Idiot Critic Cabal did not pimp it. And so he has no notion that there's a thing called marketing, or a thing called dumb luck.

Finally, as oft noted, the real reason he goes on and on and on about the TERRIBLE THREAT posed by hipsters is that he's miffed that they dare threaten his positioning of himself as the ultimate hipster who always knows more than anyone than anyone and is always correct, more moral than you, and the one brave soul standing between collapsing world and the fact that, again, NORBIT rulz.

i, grey, Friday, 25 April 2008 15:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Really, it's like he suffers from some sort of academia-based PTSD: The sky is always fallimg; only he can prop it up by trashing anyone who disagrees.

i, grey, Friday, 25 April 2008 15:12 (sixteen years ago) link

gff, you gotta be kiddin, Sirk had to be subtle about tons of shit the Code prohibited

Dr Morbius, Friday, 25 April 2008 15:17 (sixteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

definitely. i'm just saying that's twbb's self-conscious lineage. he's playing with that form. and i know, i'm always suspicious of people saying things like "oh it's not meant to be xxxx" by way of excusing something for not being xxxx, BUT plainview is not exactly a character study. more like an archetype. so the lack of depth just didn't seem like an issue to me. he's a sort of monolithic game piece on a monumental board. the movie seems to me more about the force of his action than the nuances of his character. but that's a subjective thing; to me the movie was kind of like getting steamrolled or bulldozed, and that was exciting, i don't get bulldozed at movies very often. if you didn't feel bulldozed, or object to bulldozing on principle, it would be a different experience.

― tipsy mothra, Saturday, January 19, 2008 2:55 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(and to take that a step further, pta's and ddl's bulldozing approach mirror plainview's; the movie's an example of what it's about)

― tipsy mothra, Saturday, January 19, 2008 2:57 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

shit bulldozed me with boring

cankles, Monday, 29 December 2008 19:11 (fifteen years ago) link

give me the blud, cankles~

my fingers is a jellyfish (omar little), Monday, 29 December 2008 19:16 (fifteen years ago) link

Somehow I thought this deserved to go on this thread.

"The Most Hated Film Critic"

29 December 2008 12:55 AM, PST

A Los Angeles Times article on Sunday suggested that Ben Lyons, the current co-host of the syndicated movie-review show At the Movies, has become "the most hated film critic in America" among film bloggers, columnists, professional movie critics and even longtime fans of the show. (The article observed that viewership this season is down 21 percent from a year ago.) Scott Johnson, who started the StopBenLyons.com blog, told the Times: "I don't expect to agree with a critic all the time. But his approach is to throw out blurbs just so he can get on a poster" for the movie he's reviewing. Erik Childress, vice president of the Chicago Film Critics Assn., remarked, "His integrity's out the window. He has no taste." Variety.com deputy editor Anne Thompson said that with Lyons providing the reviews, At the Movies has become "a train wreck." But Brian Frons, an executive with Disney-ABC Television Group, defended Lyons saying, "This is a guy who, if you sit and talk with him, he really does have an enormous love and knowledge base of movies. ... Did he spend 20 years as critic for a major newspaper? No. He's very much of the TV generation who don't [sic] spend time reading newspapers."

Eric H., Monday, 29 December 2008 22:21 (fifteen years ago) link

Haha he really does seem like a dope.

Alex in SF, Monday, 29 December 2008 22:24 (fifteen years ago) link

I kinda like that dude! but I guess it's context, he seemed to have pretty good taste for an E News Daily walk-on but they shouldn't have gone right from there into Ebert's spot

I lolled when he came on E during "James Bond week" and trashed Quantum of Solace

dmr, Monday, 29 December 2008 22:50 (fifteen years ago) link

*he shouldn't have

dmr, Monday, 29 December 2008 22:52 (fifteen years ago) link

"he seemed to have pretty good taste"

I see no evidence of this.

Alex in SF, Monday, 29 December 2008 22:53 (fifteen years ago) link

in the context of E network where they blowjob every blockbuster he seemed all right

haven't seen him on At the Movies

dmr, Monday, 29 December 2008 22:54 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't watch E! so I can't compare him to the folks on that channel, but compared to like actual people with brains who like love movies he's total deadweight. He makes Richard Roeper seem like Pauline Kael.

Alex in SF, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:08 (fifteen years ago) link

he seemed to have pretty good taste for an E News Daily walk-on

translation: he looks cute

Eric H., Tuesday, 30 December 2008 04:35 (fifteen years ago) link

Armond wrote a piece on Lyons & Mankiewicz not long ago (I've never seen the show).

Some blog reported Lyons was on his cellphone through an entire screening.

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 14:19 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

http://nymag.com/movies/profiles/54318/

s1ocki, Tuesday, 17 February 2009 07:08 (fifteen years ago) link

five months pass...

Made in U.S.A. and 2 or 3 Things have more in common with the visual wit of Michael Bay’s Transformers 2. It is Godard’s bold example that taught Bay to love sound and image. All these films share a visual language and a way of seeing the world that is rooted in an artistic use of technology. What a triple bill.

katherine NAGL (s1ocki), Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Based on the original 1980s Transformer toys by Hasbro and subsequent TV cartoons and limited print run grimoires, the Transformer movies expound on this cultural plenitude. Their fascination with technology —the way common objects rearrange, expand or shrink as if having a benevolent or malicious life of their own — drives the stories. This transformation is the filmic equivalent of an alchemists workshop and Bay is the Aquinas here, the ideal director to realize this peculiar genre, which remakes the surfeit of modern techno-gadgetry into a panoply of heavy-balled supervehicles

₪_₪ (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:14 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/winter2004/features/images/critic.jpg

velko, Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:25 (fourteen years ago) link

have 2 say dude loves paul w.s. anderson: movie genius so he cant be all bad

₪_₪ (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Transformers doesn’t simultaneously critique pop culture like Joe Dante’s Small Soldiers, Paul W.S. Anderson’s Death Race or Joseph Kahn’s near-miraculous Torque (none of Bay’s mechanical anthropomorphism matches the wit of how Torque’s human characters live through their vehicles)

Panera - Vulgar Display Of Flour (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:33 (fourteen years ago) link

http://codebloo.net/stuff/picard-headesk.jpg

katherine NAGL (s1ocki), Thursday, 23 July 2009 04:56 (fourteen years ago) link

SMALL FUCKING SOLDIERS?!?!

katherine NAGL (s1ocki), Thursday, 23 July 2009 04:57 (fourteen years ago) link

yah im pretty sure he was won over by the films lyrical impulsiveness and digitized grace

₪_₪ (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 04:59 (fourteen years ago) link

he really is a consummate troll

Panera - Vulgar Display Of Flour (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 July 2009 05:12 (fourteen years ago) link

"Transformers doesn’t simultaneously critique pop culture like Joe Dante’s Small Soldiers, Paul W.S. Anderson’s Death Race or Joseph Kahn’s near-miraculous Torque (none of Bay’s mechanical anthropomorphism matches the wit of how Torque’s human characters live through their vehicles)"

This sentence is hysterical.

He was only 21 years old when he 16 (Alex in SF), Thursday, 23 July 2009 15:53 (fourteen years ago) link

Hey, Small Soldiers is great, despite Captain Challops' endorsement. It's a smart, witty movie.

Dorian (Dorianlynskey), Thursday, 23 July 2009 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link

i like small soldiers.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 23 July 2009 20:49 (fourteen years ago) link

its aight but its no torque

here comes the slug line (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 20:50 (fourteen years ago) link

this fucking guy

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 23 July 2009 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link

" This Star Trek sells cuteness, sentimentality and explosive F/X as if Starship Troopers, Minority Report, Mission to Mars or even Blade Runner or The Matrix (all visionary standard-setters) never happened."

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Forget the Oscar bait, Transporter 3 is the only movie you need to see this season

NOTHING IN CINEMA this week is more important than Transporter 3. It’s been a long time since a new movie has been so spiritually and aesthetically exhilarating. Producer Luc Besson, director Olivier Megaton and star Jason Statham work at the top of their imagination and abilities—not like they’re completing a formulaic sequel but reinventing the action movie genre.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link

thats basically otm i mean cmon

here comes the slug line (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link

oh also mission to mars is being remade with the o.g. cast and script but its being retitled mission 2 mars

here comes the slug line (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link

Transporter 3 is clearly the wackest, most formulaic of the Transporter series!

Lisa Simpson = a fictional bitch (HI DERE), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Holy shit @ the cast list for The Expendables!

* Sylvester Stallone as Barney Ross a.k.a. "The Schizo", a long-time veteran Expendable and the leader of the team. He struggles with his social life. The only valuable possession he acquired in his life is his custom pickup truck. [13] [14]
* Jason Statham as Lee Christmas, a British American Expendable second in command and former S.A.S. soldier also an expert at using Close Quarters Combat with knives. Lee, although a tough guy in his work, he struggles in society's atmosphere as he has trouble when dealing with women. [15]
* Mickey Rourke as Tool, an arms dealer who helps the Expendables and is one of the first Expendables from Ross's old team.[16]
* Jet Li as Bao Thao, a Chinese American Expendable who was a former mercenary in China and a master at Hand-to-hand combat[17] Thao also has dreams of having a successful and peaceful future.[18]
* Dolph Lundgren as Gunnar Jensen, a German Expendable who is an expert at Sniping and a war veteran who also has a knack for making strange violent humor. Jensen also shares a hate-love relationship with Ross, his long time friend [19]
* Terry Crews as Hale Caeser, an Expendable and Bao Thao's best friend. He is also a Weapons specialist[20]
* Charisma Carpenter as Lacy, Lee Christmas's fiancee[21]
* Lauren Jones as Cheyenne
* Eric Roberts as Monroe, a rogue C.I.A agent who is trying to prevent the Expendables from killing General Garza
* Steve Austin as Dan Paine, a bodyguard for Monroe and a former Marine[22]
* Randy Couture as Toll Road, a long-time Expendable from Ross's old team with Tool and a skilled Demolitions expert[23]
* David Zayas as General Garza, the Dictator[24]
* Giselle Itié as Sandra, a young island native woman
* Gary Daniels as The Brit, a former Expendable who is General Garza's main henchman and wants to go to war against the Expendables as revenge for kicking him out of the team[25]
* Nick Searcy as Agent Will Sands
* Amin Joseph as the leader of a group of Pirates of Somali that challenge the Expendables
* Arnold Schwarzenegger In a cameo role. [26]
* Bruce Willis in a cameo role
* Senyo Amoaku as the second in command of the Pirates of Somali that challenge The Expendables.
* Ravi Shankar as a cameo role

the sideburns are album-specific (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Transporter 3 is clearly the wackest, most formulaic of the Transporter series!

poll

here comes the slug line (Lamp), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:28 (fourteen years ago) link

Would pay serious $$$ to hear Armond and Michael Bay one-on-one on Godard's late '60s output.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:30 (fourteen years ago) link

^^^

Panera - Vulgar Display Of Flour (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 July 2009 21:34 (fourteen years ago) link

how much money

katherine NAGL (s1ocki), Thursday, 23 July 2009 22:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Dude reads like a hyper-parody of Kael's "championing of trash" crusade.

riffed on by internet john krasinskis (circa1916), Thursday, 23 July 2009 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link

i would pay at least $4

Panera - Vulgar Display Of Flour (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 July 2009 22:41 (fourteen years ago) link

more than i have at the moment tbh ;_;

Panera - Vulgar Display Of Flour (latebloomer), Thursday, 23 July 2009 22:41 (fourteen years ago) link

I'd pay more than I'd pay for a ticket to Transformers 2.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:01 (fourteen years ago) link

I might pay as much for the Criterion Transformers DVD, with B&N's 50% off sale.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:01 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/winter2004/features/images/critic.jpg

that's him? for some reason i always thought he was that dorky guy with dreads. who am i thinking of??

the shitbirdification of america's youth (cankles), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:13 (fourteen years ago) link

elvis mitchell?
http://www.buzzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/elvis_mitchell_20080630.jpg

velko, Friday, 24 July 2009 04:24 (fourteen years ago) link

lol
On April 27, 2008, Mitchell was returning from Toronto to Detroit when border guards found Cuban cigars and $12,000 in cash on him.

velko, Friday, 24 July 2009 04:26 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah, mitchell! lmbo

the shitbirdification of america's youth (cankles), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:31 (fourteen years ago) link

what i like about white is that he's so far off in the wilderness, ranting away in whatever's left of the new york press, that he's easy to forget about until somebody does something like revive this thread. but whenever you happen to tune in, he's right there as crazy as always, getting crazier all the time. like a mad preacher on some staticky AM station you occasionally run across at 2 in the morning.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:50 (fourteen years ago) link

(and get tired of as soon as the novelty wears off again)

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Really, he's most amusing when two competing sensibilities jerk knees at the same time. Like Redacted, pitting his love for De Palma against his love for Dubya's war in Iraq.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:55 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

haha yes, or when demme casts denzel/altman uses digital video/etc

p.s.

G.I. Joe’s in the same innocuous class as the Laura Croft and Thunderbirds movies. It has the spirit of Saturday Afternoon toy commercials, even to the extent of extolling basic American values: the very realistic appreciation of militarism as a foundation for capitalist freedom that supplies delight in both G.I. Joe and Transformers 2. There’s more realpolitik here than in the now-overrated The Hurt Locker.*

Sommers isn’t quite in Michael Bay’s directorial class, but he has the ability to envision a nightmare and spin it into a provocative coup the Surrealists wouldn’t dare.

not sure what this means:

This Eiffel Tower image also recalls the postmodern epigraph that closes Godard’s In Praise of Love : “I will go to my grave with more visions than man has previously ever known.” The trashy secret of G.I. Joe is its ironic capitalizing on the fact that awesome, dread-filled visions don’t necessarily destroy childhood innocence. Seeing the Eiffel Tower fall is part of loving it (which could not be said of the World Trade Center). The Brothers Grimm understood. That’s why people are queuing-up, contributing to the Jackpot.

http://nypress.com/article-20189-gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra.html

*btw he previously said, "Kathryn Bigelow's latest joins the short list of great Iraq War films" but i guess that was before everyone else started praising it, so now he has to back off lest he be forced to agree with others.

omar little, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:22 (fourteen years ago) link

thanking youuuu

Obama Death Panel (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 19:26 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm trying to remember the Armond White review I was anticipating, but I can't now.

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh wait it was his GI Joe review. I will have to savor this now.

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link

the "now-overrated" hooooo boy

chesty la roux (donna rouge), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:40 (fourteen years ago) link

"As for acting, operatives Tatum and Wayans look great in their special Accelerator suits, surging through the air, tumbling and weaving in dreamlike acrobatics to gladden the wide-eyed part of your aesthetic sensibility."

Yes, acting.

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Wait there is no talk of acting in that sentence?!?! WTF?

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link

they're not actors, they're OPERATIVES

Obama Death Panel (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link

marvel at their operations

Obama Death Panel (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link

can't spell operative without opera and this film is pop opera at its finest. steven spielberg would be proud.

omar little, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:43 (fourteen years ago) link

white is clearly stating sommers uses actors like bresson

velko, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:44 (fourteen years ago) link

I like when Armond White writes in second person.

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:44 (fourteen years ago) link

crossposting from the gi joe thead cause dammit this took like 5 minutes:

complete list of other films armond cites in this review:

iron man
star trek
harry potter 6 ("and the half-blooded chintz"--good one dude!)
the mummy
transformers 2
wanted
3:10 to yuma
drag me to hell
transporter 3
torque (those last two are "superior pop art")
the laura (sic) croft films
thunderbirds
the hurt locker ("now overrated")
united 93
cloverfield
mars attacks
in praise of love

wishes to be referred under the pseudonym of kronos (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:44 (fourteen years ago) link

One of these things is not like the other. . .

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Can someone do a complete list of the critics that Armond is citing? Guessing that would be longer.

Alex in SF, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link

"This Eiffel Tower image also recalls the postmodern epigraph that closes Godard’s In Praise of Love : 'I will go to my grave with more visions than man has previously ever known." Uh huh.

if i have a child i will name it satan (latebloomer), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link

will gladden

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 22:13 (fourteen years ago) link

at this point is he doing this just to see if anyone's still reading?

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 22:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Meh, he's the only critic I remember what he thinks of any given movie more than a few weeks after it opens. Granted, it's because he's predictable, but still ...

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 22:49 (fourteen years ago) link

but i mean, throwing that godard quote in there, it's just trolling really. who does he think his audience is, besides people who tune in to watch him be crazy?

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 23:51 (fourteen years ago) link

he's the glenn beck of film critics

Obama Death Panel (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 23:53 (fourteen years ago) link

One of these things is not like the other. . .

yeah, Mars Attacks is the great one.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Isn't Will Gladden the third string QB for the Seahawks?

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:24 (fourteen years ago) link

the very realistic appreciation of militarism as a foundation for capitalist freedom that supplies delight

fuck this sentence, fuck this guy

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 01:52 (fourteen years ago) link

"yeah, Mars Attacks is the great one."

I thought you liked the Hurt Locker.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 03:01 (fourteen years ago) link

slocki what part are u objecting 2

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 03:06 (fourteen years ago) link

i do, but it's no Mars Attacks! xp

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 03:08 (fourteen years ago) link

I bet you just like it less now that it's been overrated.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 03:25 (fourteen years ago) link

kinda like the president amirite

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 03:33 (fourteen years ago) link

heyo

BIG HOOS's wacky crack variety hour (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 03:38 (fourteen years ago) link

That sentence isn't really all that risible, because I can imagine GI Joe's audience being cool with both guns and money.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 04:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond's nuts, cuz i understand there is no one named Joe in that film.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 04:11 (fourteen years ago) link

slocki what part are u objecting 2

― a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Tuesday, August 11, 2009 11:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i guess the idea that that shit is "innocuous" and awesome... i didnt not take that sentence as a critical read... then again it is really fuckin humid in here

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 05:13 (fourteen years ago) link

GI Joe IS innocuous and awesome

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 05:19 (fourteen years ago) link

the very realistic appreciation of militarism as a foundation for capitalist freedom that supplies delight

YOOOO JOE!

if i have a child i will name it satan (latebloomer), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 05:34 (fourteen years ago) link

that sentence doesnt really "do" anything critical, it just sort of sits there hoping for you to disagree

max, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 11:34 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah exactly

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 12:54 (fourteen years ago) link

when i first encountered armond i dont think i had ever read a critic whose POV was completely unpredictable to me. i didnt have any idea what he'd say about a movie. he would often come at it in such a way that i was sorta floored--almost having fun with the idea of interpretation itself--that many, many times he forced me to reconsider films i thought i knew/understood from the ground up.

of course, this only worked a few times and once you're on to the trick it kinda loses its power.

ryan, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 13:21 (fourteen years ago) link

he used to be different, really.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 August 2009 13:33 (fourteen years ago) link

As I read it I kept running into parts i wanted to quote and respond to but I really don't want to waste the time. This wasn't written by a real person it was written by someone living in Michael Bay world.

Adam Bruneau, Wednesday, 12 August 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link

I probably wouldn't dislike Armond White much at all if he didn't have his bizarre vendettas against successful movies. Like the dude loves to celebrate trash/genre pictures/crowd pleasers, but he can't stomach the occasional schmaltz of a Pixar movie?

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 13 August 2009 04:46 (fourteen years ago) link

His vendetta is against critically acclaimed movies though. Whether or not you or me liked or saw a movie means nothing. Did Johnny Critic love it? Oh you bet Armond's gonna contrive a reason to fuckin' hate it.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 05:06 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah the next (first?) Pixar movie that critics despise will be Armond's favorite animated film ever.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 13 August 2009 05:14 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh sure. Heck if revisionist critics retroactively decided they hated Up, he'd turn it its biggest booster overnight.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 05:25 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond is at his best these days championing commercially invisible filmmakers like Julian Hernandez, who (rounding off) none of you have ever seen or will see.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 13:20 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah the next (first?) Pixar movie that critics despise will be Armond's favorite animated film ever.

a reason to be excited for Cars 2.

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 13:25 (fourteen years ago) link

really guys, i'm glad your hatred for ppl who depart from the consensus isn't limited to politics.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 13:33 (fourteen years ago) link

He's not departing from any consensus – he's making poorly reasoned arguments.

Anatomy of a Morbius (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 13 August 2009 13:36 (fourteen years ago) link

""really guys, i'm glad your hatred for ppl who depart from the consensus isn't limited to politics."

Not so glad that your pension for acting like a smug douchebag isn't limited to your opinions about politics.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:04 (fourteen years ago) link

penchant

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:05 (fourteen years ago) link

unless you meant that morbius was really fucking old (which works)

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Hah the former.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:06 (fourteen years ago) link

guys i'm sensitive and i don't want to see armond come between anyone :(

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:15 (fourteen years ago) link

a pension for acting like a smug douchebag is part of the health plan. socialized crankiness.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:17 (fourteen years ago) link

Others are waiting on the two-faced asshole stipend.

Alfred, what does reasoning have to do with critical opinions? It is based on, as a guy in high school once said of English lit papers, "the art of persuasive bullshitting." AW is just increasingly unpersuasive.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:45 (fourteen years ago) link

what does reasoning have to do with critical opinions?

solid gold for all time

goole, Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:49 (fourteen years ago) link

You just answered your own question with your last sentence. If I can't parse someone's reasoning, then they're unpersuasive.

Anatomy of a Morbius (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:49 (fourteen years ago) link

(xpost to Morbs)

Anatomy of a Morbius (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:49 (fourteen years ago) link

what does reasoning have to do with critical opinions?

solid gold for all time

where can i read yr stuff, goole?

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:51 (fourteen years ago) link

haha nice try

goole, Thursday, 13 August 2009 14:52 (fourteen years ago) link

It is based on, as a guy in high school once said of English lit papers, "the art of persuasive bullshitting."

wait do ppl really think this still?

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link

I do, it's one of the few things I've ever been good at.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:19 (fourteen years ago) link

guys i'm sensitive and i don't want to see armond come between anyone :(

ew

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link

xp Believing nonsense? Cuz it sure as hell isn't persuading anyone.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link

AW is just increasingly unpersuasive.

this is otm. and it's not just that he doesn't persuade me, because that's not so much what i look to criticism for -- i'm not persuaded that he believes the things he says in any significant or serious way. his opinions seem plucked from the air rather than grounded in any discernible set of critical preferences or observations or philosophy or even just interesting ideas. he's not fun to read because he only challenges you on this very superficial playground level -- "yeah, i said it. whaddya think of that?"

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:24 (fourteen years ago) link

i don't actually mind the specific opinions AW has (holding up torque and transformers as examples of recent quality cinema could be interesting in other hands) but rather the fact that he seems to be joyless and use the films he claims to love as reasons to hate other films and other critics more than he gushes over them (and uses the same half dozen or so films over and over again.) his misanthropy is completely laughable and cowardly, really. calling a female film critic a bitch or cunt or whatever for daring to suggest that film critics should receive screeners for more obscure films so they can write about them is just one of his hilarious moves. going on to write about that encounter so he can position himself as the one man who stood alone bravely against the masses is even more hilarious. the dude must have had a miserable childhood and think the absolute worst of people in order to end up being such a pre-emptive strike, "i'll get you before you get me" kind of asshole.

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:34 (fourteen years ago) link

ultimately ppl read movie reviews so they can figure out what movies to see and as much of a kick as i get out of armond his biggest failing and biggest sin is that he thinks they're for something else.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:37 (fourteen years ago) link

I have no idea what omar is even talking about it. What female film critic? When did this happen?

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:37 (fourteen years ago) link

at some NYC film critics meeting, i guess lisa schwarzbaum (sic?) from entertainment weekly stood up and said that critics were increasingly unable to get access to certain films andplus studios were releasing screeners for fewer obscure films, and they should be able to receive some in order to cover these films fairly and shed some light on them. AW and her went at it in the meeting and revealed their argument in a column in which he played the hero. word is he called her a particularly unpleasant name.

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:40 (fourteen years ago) link

he revealed*

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:40 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.nypress.com/article-8327-in-bed-with-hollywood.html

At a point during the hectic debate over an official statement, Entertainment Weekly’s Lisa Schwarzbaum responded to my skepticism by rising from her seat with the full arrogance of Time Warner hoisting her up. She declared, "In the real world the Oscars matter!" (Since I, for one, don’t reside in the Oscarville zipcode, I handed back an obscenity.)

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:46 (fourteen years ago) link

i like how he writes that like it was a perfectly appropriate thing to do.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:47 (fourteen years ago) link

what you get for assuming he lives in oscarville

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:49 (fourteen years ago) link

"In the real world the Oscars matter!" pretty much permits carte blanche.

I believe AW is fiercely anti-screener.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:51 (fourteen years ago) link

his opinions seem plucked from the air rather than grounded in any discernible set of critical preferences or observations or philosophy or even just interesting ideas.

this is kind of the last word for me. maybe one day i'll be able to detect that stuff going on in AW, but i just cant right now.

ryan, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:56 (fourteen years ago) link

like we can actually believe his version of events w/r/t context

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:56 (fourteen years ago) link

the guy's had a very charmed life for whatever reason, his real ceiling should have been the dbag professor at a middling college you hoped you wouldn't get for film theory 101.

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link

lol yes saying "in the real world the oscars matter" is truly grounds for breaking the glass on "bitch" or "cunt"

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:00 (fourteen years ago) link

Valenti was just trying to help the industry but unfortunately critics are trying to collude with the industry yeah this isn't a rant

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Throughout its 60-plus-year history, the Circle honorably made its awards without benefit of screeners–which is to say, without industry consent. (In 1996 the indie distributor of Kansas City refused to provide screeners simply because it didn’t consider the film commercially viable. Luckily critics had already seen Kansas City on the big screen in a glorious silver-retention print.) The Circle’s impartial stance against such industry thinking not only honored the group’s creed but, more importantly, helped create a singular atmosphere and distinctive criteria for film culture to follow.

wait if it's noteworthy that kansas city didn't provide screeners, isn't he saying that the circle occasionally gave awards to movies that didn't give screeners, not that they worked "without industry consent" throughout the 60 years as a point of pride.

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Wait Kansas City won an award?!?!

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:17 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond has gone on the record basically saying you can not be a cinephile (in America, at any rate) unless you live in New York.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:18 (fourteen years ago) link

Bold statement.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:20 (fourteen years ago) link

the best part about his belief that the critics are working with the movie industry against the movie industry is his dig at crappy independent movies at the end of the piece. it's not like these tiny sundance fuckers are any good anyway! stop whining and eat what the industry puts in front of you.

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:22 (fourteen years ago) link

or rather, in front of your town

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:23 (fourteen years ago) link

I guess Harry Belafonte won an award for best supporting actor from the NYFCC.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Weinstein is not to blame for promoting his interests any more than Valenti is. It’s the journalists, Oscar voters and the public who are the suckers. They won’t admit their own lack of standards and susceptibility to hype. The Times hasn’t noticed that truly small and edgy films (Circuit, George Washington, Office Space) never get Oscar nominations.

In fact, the only people who know what time it is are Armond White and the Hollywood execs he refuses to get in bed with. btw, see transformers 2.

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:28 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond has gone on the record basically saying you can not be a cinephile (in America, at any rate) unless you live in New York.

Apparently Armond doesn't subscribe to Netflix.

Anatomy of a Morbius (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Well, maybe I'm wrong. He probably really just said you can not be a film critic (in America) unless you live in New York.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:31 (fourteen years ago) link

Well, maybe I'm wrong. He probably really just said you can not be a film critic (in America) unless you live in New York are Armond White.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

I pick the last one.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

As the thing he probably said that is.

it's like i have a couple worked up orc dicks under my arms (Alex in SF), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

well you can, you just need to stfu about art movies because if they get to you they're underrated and just tell people which big budget kaboom is the best

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link

overrated, rather

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link

They aren't overrated when they're only in New York, but by the time they reach flyover country, they sure as hell will be.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:34 (fourteen years ago) link

RIP Hurt Locker, I thought being directed by the lady who did Point Break would save you from this fate

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Schwartzbaum presented herself as the masthead of a movement among middle-echelon, middle-brow journalists who value pop commerce and celebrity over everything and who have wrecked the currents of film culture.

Boy, he concluded this from just one remark?

Anatomy of a Morbius (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:37 (fourteen years ago) link

if he doubts the critical facilities of everyone who isn't harvey weinstein, why does he give a fuck if they watch the turds they adore at home or in theaters?

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:37 (fourteen years ago) link

i mean, unless he's just trying to be a contrarian prick.

da croupier, Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:38 (fourteen years ago) link

"In the real world hamburgers matter!"

Schwartzbaum presented herself as the masthead of a movement among middle-echelon, middle-brow journalists who value greasy food and obesity over everything and who have wrecked American gastronomical habits.

Anatomy of a Morbius (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:38 (fourteen years ago) link

Apparently Armond doesn't subscribe to Netflix.

He would argue that you can't review a film you haven't seen on a theater screen, which is an ideal I subscribe to (that is not practicable for all but a few people).

I think saying that "Oscars matter" sentence OUT LOUD and getting something short of a punch is good fortune.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:35 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah i forgot--it's not like they were at a meeting of professional film critics.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link

seeing a lot of movies in the theater is really hard if not impossible b/c of terrible distributing of smaller films, and yet, asking for screeners to give these films their due means you're "in bed with hollywood"?

goole, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

that's bullshit, morbs. if i was in a meeting and someone said that, you can just have a lol and debate their weird point (if she even said that, and her point was in fact weird) instead of assuming the worst in people. guy seems like a sociopath.

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link

anyway if armond white really feels that way about theater screens i wonder why he bothers to write up essays for criterion on occasion, because only a fuckin philistine would watch the movie on a small screen.

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link

goole: yes, bcz they are promotional devices geared at awards/promotion. That's his position.

srsly, I wouldn't frame it that way, but the serious cinema conversation from November thru Oscars was not utterly monopolized by the Trophy Carousel 30, 20, even 10 years ago. It makes me ill.

well, in the case of CCs, you are NOT going to see the films any other way unless you live near a rep venue.

JOEKS re the punching.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link

don't hit me, dogg!

omar little, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah well that's a dumb position. who gives a shit what they're geared at, if they're you're only way of seeing a film, watch it. any individual film print is basically a tool to get 9.50 out of me anyway, so what

goole, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:47 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm a lover, not a sociopath. xp

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:48 (fourteen years ago) link

ha, Lisa Schwarzbaum is horrible tho

velko, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond has gone on the record basically saying you can not be a cinephile (in America, at any rate) unless you live in New York.

― sir-mounter (Eric H.), Thursday, August 13, 2009 12:18 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

did any of u guys see that documentary about cinephiles in new york - Cinemania, i think? anyway AW reminds me of the crazy broad from that movie

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

always wanted to see that movie!
maybe i'll go hunt for it

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link

acc to James Redd, that "crazy broad" just died.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link

Was it Orly Taitz?

Alex in SF, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link

We should a RIP thread.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 13 August 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link

everyone in it was pretty depressing but she was the least grounded, most insane seeming one... that poor-ass monster.

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:01 (fourteen years ago) link

Is it worth watching? Is she the really old with the glasses?

Alex in SF, Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link

old lady

Alex in SF, Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:10 (fourteen years ago) link

no, she wasn't that old iirc, just kinda middle aged and wiry catlady-ish... when they show her apartment though it's terrifying. she had a thing about keeping all her ticket stubs, and there's a story about when she physically attacked an usher who dared to tear her stub in half

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Jesus that's bonkers.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Roberta Hill, a former mail carrier in her early 60's, lives in an apartment crammed with promotional junk and bric-a-brac, including the ticket stubs for every movie she attends. (She shuns television.) Hot tempered and imperious, she was banned from the Museum of Modern Art after attacking an usher who unwittingly ripped her stub in half.

velko, Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:13 (fourteen years ago) link

these people sound sad and depressing.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:13 (fourteen years ago) link

really does kinda sound like AW tho

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond would have just called the usher a cunt and then written a blog post bad-mouthing ushers in general for wrecking the currents of museum culture though.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:30 (fourteen years ago) link

she reminded me a lot of my mom... hit a lil 2 close 2 home imo

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:54 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah i saw her at a lot of screenings. as i related on the film snob thread i vividly remember her loudly kvetching about the air conditioning at anthology before a screening

The Collected Works of Fun Fun (donna rouge), Thursday, 13 August 2009 20:59 (fourteen years ago) link

Ebert: Not In Defense of Armond White

The Devil's Avocado (Gukbe), Friday, 14 August 2009 12:36 (fourteen years ago) link

that's funny but im not sure Ebert is really the paragon of good taste (though i often enjoy his reviews).

That picture:
http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/1897/armondwhiteisntinsane.jpg

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 14:27 (fourteen years ago) link

id say the "good movies" column is much more damning than the "bad movies" column. Rise of the Silver Surfer? ugh.

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 14:29 (fourteen years ago) link

That good list is WAY more selective than is accurate.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 14 August 2009 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link

btw go see You, the Living

Ebert asks some good questions in there.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Friday, 14 August 2009 14:40 (fourteen years ago) link

you the living is amazing. i dont think it's even available on dvd in the states (or canada for that matter). songs from the second floor is out of print too. this is an injustice imo

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Friday, 14 August 2009 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link

xpost Sorry, not on local radar. Apparently even the Walker feels it more important to run a retrospective of the Coen brothers.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 14 August 2009 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link

I suppose I could check for torrentz, et al ...

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 14 August 2009 14:51 (fourteen years ago) link

you should see songs first if poss

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Friday, 14 August 2009 14:56 (fourteen years ago) link

id say the "good movies" column is much more damning than the "bad movies" column. Rise of the Silver Surfer? ugh.

it's true that armond's one reliable use is that if you happen to hate some movie lots of other people love, his predictable trashing of it can give a certain amount of satisfaction. but it always feels like a cheap thrill.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Friday, 14 August 2009 15:01 (fourteen years ago) link

It will be interesting to see which of his '00s hobby horses make it onto his 2012 S&S list a la A.I. in '02.

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Friday, 14 August 2009 15:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Ebert asks some good questions in there.

yeah, i love the big about "pre-fans" who are so totally in the tank for a movie they haven't even seen yet. those people always weird me out.

some dude, Friday, 14 August 2009 15:03 (fourteen years ago) link

big=bit

some dude, Friday, 14 August 2009 15:03 (fourteen years ago) link

fer sher.

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Friday, 14 August 2009 15:09 (fourteen years ago) link

i havent read any fanboy reaction but excoriating AW for bringing up apartheid in the D9 review is headinhands.jpg

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Friday, 14 August 2009 15:10 (fourteen years ago) link

u know if i was trying to think of "people who i would be more likely to disagree with than armond white" the aint it cool news brigade would be pretty high up on that list

max, Friday, 14 August 2009 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Too true.

Alex in SF, Friday, 14 August 2009 15:37 (fourteen years ago) link

You the Living is just getting theatrical engagements in the US; I saw it Yuesday at Film Forum on the last day of a 2-week run.

When mine was the first pan of "Humpday" to go up on RT, some "user" emailed me "Thanks for ruining the perfect score."

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Friday, 14 August 2009 16:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Yuesday, how fitting. ;)

Alex in SF, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:07 (fourteen years ago) link

should have emailed back "dealwithitdog.gif"

omar little, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:08 (fourteen years ago) link

are there really people who care about a perfect score on rotten tomatoes. that is very bizarre!

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:15 (fourteen years ago) link

imo having the lowest-rated review on something like metacritic or rotten tomatoes is a good thing more often than not -- lotta times i actively seek out the lowest scores just to see what they have to say

some dude, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:16 (fourteen years ago) link

^^ yeah reading the dissenting voices can be valuable on those aggregation sites and with user reviews too

max, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:18 (fourteen years ago) link

are there really people who care about a perfect score on rotten tomatoes. that is very bizarre!

I was a half-star away from getting clubbed by Trekkies over that ST movie. They threw up hundreds of posts about AW's pan.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Friday, 14 August 2009 16:19 (fourteen years ago) link

i guess when i was a younger know-it-all-apocalypse now is the best movie ever-cinephile it DID sorta matter to me what critics thought, looking for father figures or somesuch....but still it's funny to me how differing opinions about a stupid sci-fi movie can provoke such anxiety.

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:21 (fourteen years ago) link

not even differing opinions -- opinions that differ with your expectations based on the trailer!

some dude, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:23 (fourteen years ago) link

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs090.snc1/5098_119062820751_739675751_2957213_7814915_n.jpg

i feel like this has something to do with armond white

a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Friday, 14 August 2009 16:26 (fourteen years ago) link

there is a certain structure to these things.

1) build up/anticipation--"this is gonna be the best movie ever"
2) see the movie strictly within the context of the excitement generated beforehand.
3) validate build up by refusing to judge movie except within the context of the aforementioned excitement.

it's interesting because an actual engagement with the movie is really a pretext for everything else. I know people who STILL refuse to acknowledge that the new Star Wars movies were terrible.

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link

okay so it's a couple weeks old but if Dolph Lundgren spends two hours taking out bad guys and teammates alike with masterfully bitchy zings I am all over this.

Dolph Lundgren as Gunnar Jensen, a German Expendable who is an expert at Sniping

all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Friday, 14 August 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

I know people who STILL refuse to acknowledge that the new Star Wars movies were terrible.

I was all like "those people OTM!" until you got to the last two words there.

all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Friday, 14 August 2009 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah true...but i mean, i understand loyalty to a series/franchise and even sometimes a director or cast member...but now there are fan sites and facebook fan groups and people hugely invested in as-yet-unreleased movies that aren't sequels or adaptations of anything already out, and in this case it's by a first time director! it's just weird.

xpost

some dude, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:34 (fourteen years ago) link

what's that Derrida essay where he talks about the "absent center" of a discourse? haha.

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 16:36 (fourteen years ago) link

1) build up/anticipation--"this is gonna be the best movie ever"
2) see the movie strictly within the context of the excitement generated beforehand.
3) validate build up by refusing to judge movie except within the context of the aforementioned excitement.

I'm worried about doing this for Tron.

Chinavision (altair nouveau), Friday, 14 August 2009 17:55 (fourteen years ago) link

easy solution--never watch trailers and smile and nod when yr friends go on and on abt movies that are not yet out. i have years of experience w/this.

call all destroyer, Friday, 14 August 2009 18:00 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah, that's pretty much what i do, increasingly w/ movies and music and almost anything. i'm not really paranoid about avoiding "spoilers" but once i decide i want to see/hear/read/etc. something, i kind of stave off reading about or really immersing myself in any kind of pre-release stuff before experience it in full. of course, that also means i have to actively avoid a good number of ilx threads i really wanna read for a while if i'm late to get to something.

some dude, Friday, 14 August 2009 18:07 (fourteen years ago) link

I can't see the armondwhiteisntinsane.jpg. What is the gist of it?

Alex in SF, Friday, 14 August 2009 18:07 (fourteen years ago) link

it's a column of movies he liked and a column of movies he hated. i'm sure you could guess things in both.

call all destroyer, Friday, 14 August 2009 18:08 (fourteen years ago) link

it's funny ebert singles out "Synecdoche, New York" and "There Will Be Blood" as the movies no critic could help but praise.

ryan, Friday, 14 August 2009 18:23 (fourteen years ago) link

He would argue that you can't review a film you haven't seen on a theater screen, which is an ideal I subscribe to (that is not practicable for all but a few people).

― Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, August 13, 2009 7:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

OK, never saw that one; never liked the clips. I prefer Candy in the unalloyed brilliance that was SCTV.

― Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Friday, August 7, 2009 9:02 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 14 August 2009 20:02 (fourteen years ago) link

morbs thinks that you can't pass judgment on movie if you HAVE seen it before

heavin' flho (s1ocki), Friday, 14 August 2009 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link

are there really people who care about a perfect score on rotten tomatoes. that is very bizarre!

in a world where Insane Clown Posse have a Greatful Dead-like following, anything is possible

if i have a child i will name it satan (latebloomer), Saturday, 15 August 2009 03:27 (fourteen years ago) link

people are weird, man

if i have a child i will name it satan (latebloomer), Saturday, 15 August 2009 03:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Filling columns of what a critic likes and hates as selectively as they made Armond's is pointless. Countless music critics may have dismissed Radiohead while enjoying a Katy Perry song, but that doesn't mean it's fair to sum a critic's career as "he thinks Katy Perry is great while Radiohead is stupid LOL," although, actually, plenty of critics would probably be proud to stamp that quote on their mission statement, so never mind.

And the Mothra is right about White being fun to read when you know he'll trash something you also hate.

Cunga, Sunday, 16 August 2009 06:27 (fourteen years ago) link

he sucks

omar little, Sunday, 16 August 2009 06:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Read a dozen or so of his reviews last night, and they were for the most part alright. I could get where he was coming from. I actually agree with his review of Dark Knight about the current hip way to make a comic book movie seem 'adult' and 'serious' is to make it as grim as possible. I enjoyed that movie but left feeling that I had just gone through an ordeal that I probably won't want to revisit.

In the review of Love Guru he stops to heap praise on Cat in the Hat which is seriously one of the most disturbing things anybody could do. His noting in the aside that critics attacked it does much to help the case that he makes his living by being reactionary.

His Transformers review should be summed up in two sentences:

Sam’s insipid subplot is less urgent than the Iraq War plot; neither gains from the sci-fi metaphor (although the sense of American freedom in both suggests why envious cultures hate us).

which is fairly senseless doublespeak propaganda straight from W's mouth. And..

When the Transformers explode from common tools into super beings, the kinetic imagery fulfills the surrealism of Fernand Léger, El Lissitzky—if only they had digital.

which is a huge insult to "Ballet Mechanique"

Adam Bruneau, Sunday, 16 August 2009 13:49 (fourteen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v371/ephender/armond.jpg

sir-mounter (Eric H.), Sunday, 16 August 2009 14:12 (fourteen years ago) link

It may be fun to write fake AW reviews for movies he hasn't done. Or maybe just to write a list of rules:

1. If movie is made/set in the 1980s, mention Ronald Reagan in every paragraph.
2. If movie is critically lambasted for being shallow trash, praise its glorification of American pop culture.
etc

Adam Bruneau, Sunday, 16 August 2009 14:35 (fourteen years ago) link

He would argue that you can't review a film you haven't seen on a theater screen, which is an ideal I subscribe to (that is not practicable for all but a few people).

― Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, August 13, 2009 7:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

OK, never saw that one; never liked the clips. I prefer Candy in the unalloyed brilliance that was SCTV.

― Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Friday, August 7, 2009 9:02 PM (1 week ago)

That's no contradiction bcz I'm not even talking about the same things there, new anti-me obsessive. The first post is about the merits of your ideal/choice of viewing medium. I think the second one is about Planes Trains, which I never wanted to see. Now drink your milk.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 August 2009 00:31 (fourteen years ago) link

"all films must be seen in the theater before being reviewed"

=

"All his films are fucking terrible.... ok I didn't see that one, but I didn't like the clips"

perhaps you saw the clips in the theater?

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 17 August 2009 00:49 (fourteen years ago) link

it was John Hughes doing adults, looked like bad TV

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 August 2009 01:08 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm sure Only the Lonely looks like bad tv if you've only seen clips too.

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 17 August 2009 04:49 (fourteen years ago) link

no, Chris Columbus can actually direct.

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 August 2009 12:55 (fourteen years ago) link

Hahaha, LOCK THREAD.

Id rather dig ditches than pull another dudes string (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 17 August 2009 13:01 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

he's right funny tho

capn save a noob (cozwn), Monday, 7 September 2009 10:32 (fourteen years ago) link

ArmondWhite @hoosteen I find your opinions to be of the misguided nature, typical of intellectual juveniles like Peter Jackson. TRUTHBOMB!12:52 PM Sep 8th from web in reply to hoosteen

s1ocki??????????

both HOOSlarious and truthful (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 10 September 2009 04:28 (fourteen years ago) link

Follow!

boring movies are the most boring (Eric H.), Thursday, 10 September 2009 05:12 (fourteen years ago) link

haha no!

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Thursday, 10 September 2009 12:53 (fourteen years ago) link

I noticed Armond shoehorned another gratuitous Roy Andersson reference into his "District 9" review.

Number None, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 00:08 (fourteen years ago) link

haha now I'm kinda curious: five years on, do people here still vehemently disagree with that Fahrenheit 9/11 review? it's overlong and ranty and repetitive and over-strident for a piece that's criticizing Moore, but I don't know that I disagree with it all that deeply.

nabisco, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 00:59 (fourteen years ago) link

As Kevin Costner worried in JFK, we are indeed through the looking glass now.

omar little, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 01:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Michael Moore is a POPULIST* worth defending, to a point

A Patch on Blazing Saddles (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:10 (fourteen years ago) link

really, ppl who passionately voted for a Change Agent bought by Wall Street give MM shit for staying in nice hotels? Sit 'n spin.

A Patch on Blazing Saddles (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:12 (fourteen years ago) link

also mm makes fun movies

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:18 (fourteen years ago) link

not really tho?

ian, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:31 (fourteen years ago) link

fun?

ian, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:31 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah theyre hella entertaining and hilarious

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:32 (fourteen years ago) link

his movies are variable, and guilty of some of the superficial sins armond and others accuse him of, but at he's best he's a good rabblerouser (which includes being a good entertainer). the tendency on the left to disown him seems like a needlessly defensive move. he's not right about everything, but god knows his heart is in the right place. and he's a much better filmmaker than a lot of the diy documentarians who have come after him.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:36 (fourteen years ago) link

harassing congressmen from an ice cream truck - challenging phil knight to a footrace - paul wolfowitz w/the spit comb

guy is putting full effort into entertaining us and all anyone can do is complain abt how hes not a serious upright truth broker - talk abt missing the boat jeez

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:37 (fourteen years ago) link

and generally hes right abt the big picture stuff in a way most people w/a public voice will not fuck with ever

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:39 (fourteen years ago) link

aye.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 22 September 2009 04:47 (fourteen years ago) link

really, ppl who passionately voted for a Change Agent bought by Wall Street give MM shit for staying in nice hotels? Sit 'n spin.

― A Patch on Blazing Saddles (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:12 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

in my experience there is no overlap between these two groups

both HOOSlarious and truthful (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 22 September 2009 06:39 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

G Kenny finds that AW is making sense lately, in praising A Serious Man and panning An Education (scroll to end):

http://www.theauteurs.com/notebook/posts/1130

Your Favorite Saturday Night Thing (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 10 October 2009 16:52 (fourteen years ago) link

i've found that to be a v distressing turn of events

The Devil's Avocado (Gukbe), Saturday, 10 October 2009 17:01 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

o shit @ his precious review

just sayin, Thursday, 5 November 2009 09:58 (fourteen years ago) link

lotsa folks saying the same thing really -- my editor: "Stuff White People Like"

Your Favorite Saturday Night Thing (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 5 November 2009 12:54 (fourteen years ago) link

did they compare it to birth of a nation

just sayin, Thursday, 5 November 2009 12:57 (fourteen years ago) link

well, AW always takes that extra step. (btw I have no doubt it's nowhere as well made as BoaN)

Your Favorite Saturday Night Thing (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 5 November 2009 12:59 (fourteen years ago) link

Excellent recent films with black themes—Next Day Air, Cadillac Records, Meet Dave, Norbit, Little Man, Akeelah and the Bee, First Sunday, The Ladykillers, Marci X, Palindromes, Mr. 3000, even back to the great Beloved (also produced by Oprah)...

I really liked Mr. 3000 but wow

da croupier, Thursday, 5 November 2009 13:08 (fourteen years ago) link

To be fair he is right that most critics would praise a new Birth Of A Nation before they'd rave about Little Man.

da croupier, Thursday, 5 November 2009 13:10 (fourteen years ago) link

Mr. 3000 is great

cough syrup in coke cans (Eric H.), Thursday, 5 November 2009 13:30 (fourteen years ago) link

two months pass...

what

max, Tuesday, 12 January 2010 17:30 (fourteen years ago) link

jeezus, who cares

Rage, Resentment, Spleen (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 17:31 (fourteen years ago) link

"this is the rudest thing I've ever [dealt with]"

rough life

♖♕♖ (am0n), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 17:39 (fourteen years ago) link

Keith Olbermann: kind of a prissy bitch

living like the Na'vi will never happen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 17:45 (fourteen years ago) link

"The final upshot was that Us critic Thelma Adams was asked to present the award. Which she did, and very robustly."

Oh thank heavens.

queen frostine (Eric H.), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:09 (fourteen years ago) link

armond white is a prissier bitch imo, plus he seems a little unbalanced

A™ machine (sic) (omar little), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:21 (fourteen years ago) link

About the only person I can think of who could out-fussy Armond White is maybe P. Diddy? Perez Hilton on a good day?

living like the Na'vi will never happen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:22 (fourteen years ago) link

Us critic Thelma Adams was asked to present the award. Which she did, and very robustly."

oh DID she.

White's concept of using only past winners as presenters led to another odd decision in which 1984 NYFCC Best Supporting Actress winner Christine Lahti (for Swing Shift) presented George Clooney with his Best Actor award. She and Clooney have a history, apparently, but the general reaction was "why is Lahti presenting this again?" Clooney's people, I'm told, were at the front of the line with this question.

lol Armond that naughty boy!

Hell is other people. In an ILE film forum. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:30 (fourteen years ago) link

i love how armond white has bitter rivalries with people who don't even know he exists

A™ machine (sic) (omar little), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:31 (fourteen years ago) link

I wish I knew that Olbermann didn't exist

Rage, Resentment, Spleen (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:32 (fourteen years ago) link

seems an unlikely fellow to be presiding over a critics' circle, given that his default steez is "all other critics are jerks".

free the charmless but occasionally brilliant Dom Passantino (history mayne), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:32 (fourteen years ago) link

It was the NYFCC that crowned Cameron Diaz for "There's Something About Mary"; several members even voted for sci-fi landmark "The Matrix" in its year; and this time around, the Michael Jackson documentary "This Is It" received strong support. These anti-hype choices reveal the way movies feel in the actual experience of moviegoers.

proudly bucking the hype by embracing cameron diaz, michael jackson and the matrix

Who Makes the Na'vis? (s1ocki), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:35 (fourteen years ago) link

i mean who's even HEARD of all of that stuff

Who Makes the Na'vis? (s1ocki), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 18:35 (fourteen years ago) link

i bleeve year-end film awards are the context, not that i'd defend any of that

Rage, Resentment, Spleen (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 19:01 (fourteen years ago) link

is he arguing that films should be rewarded for how much the public is aware of them and not for their quality?

A™ machine (sic) (omar little), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 19:06 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

this whole thing has been utterly beautiful

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Life?

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link

i don't get why someone hasn't suggested that armond pirate the movie -- if he's gonna call for noah baumbach's abortion, he might as well openly steal his work

if the ny press lets armond run a review of the film a week late it's gonna be the greatest review of all time

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link

he was overslept for the 'greenberg' press screening? what?

the archetypal ghetto hustler (history mayne), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:37 (fourteen years ago) link

Someone give a quick summary of the whole thing plz.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:38 (fourteen years ago) link

armond was banned from the press screening of "greenberg" and then an anonymous film critic sent an email out to a bunch of other critics telling them to boycott reviewing the film, or if they had to review it for a publication that they make note of armond's banning in their piece

and today the voice unearthed a review of "mr. jealousy" where armond says that noah baumbach's mom (an ex-voice film critic who armond had feuded with) should've had an abortion

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:39 (fourteen years ago) link

stay classy, armond

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

then an anonymous film critic sent an email out to a bunch of other critics telling them to boycott reviewing the film, or if they had to review it for a publication that they make note of armond's banning in their piece

it seems pretty clear that this "anonymous film critic" was armond himself. and he compares baumbach to the nazis! and complains about his "freedom of speech" being violated by not being allowed into a private advanced screening of a film!

armond white is a spoiled 12-year-old boy and i claim my $800. seriously who reads this fuck?

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:45 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm sorry i mean "film critic".

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:46 (fourteen years ago) link

same as "spoiled 12year-old-boy."

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:47 (fourteen years ago) link

here's j hoberman on the whole thing:

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives/2010/03/proof_that_armo.php

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:50 (fourteen years ago) link

maybe this will finally end with armond being fired and todd mccarthy replacing him? that would make it all very worthwhile.

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:53 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't approve of that last sentence in the Mr. Jealousy review, but I like that review (and I like Baumbach, too).

bamcquern, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:54 (fourteen years ago) link

gd armond is the man

Lamp, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:56 (fourteen years ago) link

shitty writer, shittier human being

('_') (omar little), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:57 (fourteen years ago) link

shitty writer, shittier human being

― ('_') (omar little), Wednesday, March 10, 2010 4:57 PM (53 seconds ago) Bookmark

truthbomb

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 22:58 (fourteen years ago) link

might suggest retroactive abortion, might suggest!

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:00 (fourteen years ago) link

georgia brown was a mediocre film critic, but not armond white-level awful

lmfao @ credulity (velko), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link

hey :/

im armond white btw (donna rouge), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link

White's accusations of racism led to a live dustup on Leonard Lopate's radio show in the mid '90s, when Brown challenged White to substantiate his charges and White refused.

this is funny, see, because their names, are also the names of colors, that some peoples skin, is

max, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link

reverse racism

lmfao @ credulity (velko), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:04 (fourteen years ago) link

sorry, donna rouge, is georgia your mom too??

lmfao @ credulity (velko), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:05 (fourteen years ago) link

GEORGIA BROWN IS EVERYBODY'S MOM

(note to self: print on t-shirt, wear outside of armond white's apartment building)

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:07 (fourteen years ago) link

would be kind of great actually if baumbach turned out to be love child of georgia brown and armond white. would make a good movie maybe.

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:07 (fourteen years ago) link

nah but i (used to be) armond white btw but yall were hurting my feelings so

all-beef patty hearst (donna rouge), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:07 (fourteen years ago) link

would be kind of great actually if baumbach turned out to be love child of georgia brown and armond white. would make a good movie maybe

The Scarlet Stain

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:09 (fourteen years ago) link

that Armond review, ignoring the shitty abortion punchline, actually highlights pretty well what i find intolerable about Baumbach.

circa1916, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 23:21 (fourteen years ago) link

This one's a little too insider baseball for me to care about.

queen frostine (Eric H.), Thursday, 11 March 2010 01:14 (fourteen years ago) link

it is funny when someone who designs their whole persona on being iconoclastic and fearless gets super butthurt, though.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 11 March 2010 02:36 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't give much of a fuck about this, but AW was infuriated that the kid in Squid didn't have anyone call him on stealing a Bowie song

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 March 2010 03:45 (fourteen years ago) link

fury seems like a pretty appropriate reaction

max, Thursday, 11 March 2010 12:23 (fourteen years ago) link

it was a pink floyd song

dmr, Thursday, 11 March 2010 14:33 (fourteen years ago) link

you're right! well see, that proves nobody in Park Slope in the '80s was sure.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 March 2010 14:52 (fourteen years ago) link

he also did get busted for it...

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 11 March 2010 20:40 (fourteen years ago) link

EVENTUALLY

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 March 2010 21:07 (fourteen years ago) link

I dunno, I bought it. People are dumb.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 11 March 2010 21:16 (fourteen years ago) link

no one wanted to admit know abt pink floyd

ice cr?m, Thursday, 11 March 2010 21:32 (fourteen years ago) link

armond and my dad on the same page there

beats the weird old man diatribe i was expecting re: showing a kid jerking off in the library

A B C, Thursday, 11 March 2010 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm pretty happy that armond is a 4chan icon btw

A B C, Thursday, 11 March 2010 21:36 (fourteen years ago) link

what is this thing about pink floyd? can someone break it down for me?

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 00:40 (fourteen years ago) link

or bowie or whatever. i'm lost.

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 00:41 (fourteen years ago) link

kid passes off song lyrics as his own original writing, nobody in class notices, end of story

Your body is a spiderland (polyphonic), Friday, 12 March 2010 00:52 (fourteen years ago) link

huh? what does this have to do w/ armond white?

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 00:55 (fourteen years ago) link

It was a scene from Squid/Whale, and White claimed that it was improbable that the lyrics wouldn't be recognized.

Your body is a spiderland (polyphonic), Friday, 12 March 2010 01:00 (fourteen years ago) link

White:

Director-writer Noah Baumbach mimics the inverted narcissism of Capturing the Friedmans, presenting his Park Slope denizens as the brain trust of New York literary culture in all its bedraggled, half-ass, suburban-manque vanity. Real (average) moviegoers are said to stare back at the screen in numbed stupefaction, however screening rooms buzzed with the press's self-satisfied chuckles. Propaganda for ourselves. Most New York critics should have recused themselves from judging this mirror reflection. Their lack of such scruples matches Baumbach's lack of talent. The mind-boggling moment when his alter ego (Jesse Eisenberg) rips off a Pink Floyd tune at a music contest and, supposedly, no one in all bourgie Brooklyn recognizes the theft, demonstrates the downright plagiarism and nepotism of Baumbach's career.

Your body is a spiderland (polyphonic), Friday, 12 March 2010 01:03 (fourteen years ago) link

lol @ armond insulting the intelligence of "average moviegoers"

call all destroyer, Friday, 12 March 2010 01:07 (fourteen years ago) link

you know how in robocop there's the secret "directive 4" that doesn't permit him to arrest an officer of OCP? and when he tries to arrest dick jones, he stops suddenly and starts jerking around strangely--and no matter how hard he tries, he can't bring himself to make the arrest?

that's sort of how it works when i try to read anything written by armond white.

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 01:18 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond, you're FIRED!

Philip Nunez, Friday, 12 March 2010 01:21 (fourteen years ago) link

don't we all wish.

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 01:21 (fourteen years ago) link

(That was your cue to draw a service revolver from your artificial leg-holster and send him crashing out the window 40 stories to his demise, then I go, that's some nice shooting, son)

Philip Nunez, Friday, 12 March 2010 01:27 (fourteen years ago) link

"what's your name?"

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 01:28 (fourteen years ago) link

"baumbach."

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 01:28 (fourteen years ago) link

http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/5654/endcredit.gif

Da da da da daaaah / Da da da duhhhh!

Philip Nunez, Friday, 12 March 2010 01:33 (fourteen years ago) link

lol @ armond insulting the intelligence of "average moviegoers"

No cad, he's saying that they're perceptive for being unamused at what draws "self-satisfied chuckles" from critics.

I liked TS&TW myself.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 March 2010 02:01 (fourteen years ago) link

i didn't like it one bit but the pink floyd thing may qualify as the WENDY KROY hiccup: and other flaws in other films

jed_, Friday, 12 March 2010 02:28 (fourteen years ago) link

morbs that's not nec. what i get out of "numbed stupefaction" but ok

call all destroyer, Friday, 12 March 2010 02:37 (fourteen years ago) link

but reread! Sometimes numbed stupefaction is the only proper response, to WW2 alternate histories for example.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 March 2010 02:43 (fourteen years ago) link

or one-note posters

zvookster, Friday, 12 March 2010 02:45 (fourteen years ago) link

that's not fair, max posts about things besides gettin stoned

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 March 2010 03:07 (fourteen years ago) link

just take your zing like a man, Morbs.

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 12 March 2010 03:07 (fourteen years ago) link

i don't see any

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 March 2010 03:14 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah yeah i still think he's misusing stupefy if that's what he's going for but here's a bigger point--whatever you think about the squid and the whale it telegraphs what its targets are really well and there's absolutely nothing inside baseball about it

call all destroyer, Friday, 12 March 2010 03:19 (fourteen years ago) link

lol was that a sockspottin' post by morbs? if so, kudos

velko, Friday, 12 March 2010 03:49 (fourteen years ago) link

i dont know how i got dragged into this, but let me be clear, i only post about being stoned

max, Friday, 12 March 2010 03:50 (fourteen years ago) link

You did not have sexual relations with that bong.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 12 March 2010 03:53 (fourteen years ago) link

let me be clear

choom u can believe in

velko, Friday, 12 March 2010 03:54 (fourteen years ago) link

does armond ever acknowledge that n baumbach is kind of cute? because i feel like that is important

A B C, Friday, 12 March 2010 03:57 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.hollywoodnews.com/2010/03/11/exclusive-armond-white-dislikes-baumbachs-movies/

Despite his negative view of Baumbach’s films, White points out that he is a “huge admirer” of the director’s wife, actress Jennifer Jason Leigh.

“I think Jennifer Jason Leigh is the best actress in America,” White said. “He thinks I hate his mother, but I really love his wife. That seems not to matter. I’m on record calling her the best actress in the ’90s, but that seems not to matter. So, where is the grudge? You look at my reviews of Jennifer Jason Leigh and I’m praising her to the skies.”

ILX's Dopiest Poster (latebloomer), Friday, 12 March 2010 04:36 (fourteen years ago) link

some of my best friends are jennifer jason leigh

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 05:17 (fourteen years ago) link

lol

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 12 March 2010 05:23 (fourteen years ago) link

White denies ever saying that Baumbach’s mother should have aborted him. “Reading the English language, I am not calling for him to be aborted,” White told HollywoodNews.com. “But (Hoberman) decides I am calling for Noah’s abortion. He sides with the mob. What a jerk.”

some dude, Friday, 12 March 2010 05:34 (fourteen years ago) link

armond is straight up lying in that interview

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 05:36 (fourteen years ago) link

because he once said that he didn't have to meet baumbach to know that he was an asshole cuz he'd seen his movies, which he said was a better way to judge anyway -- so unless he "likes" or "has nothing against" assholes, then he's just dancing -- altho maybe to have a high self-esteem it would be technically necessary for him to "have nothing against" assholes

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 05:37 (fourteen years ago) link

that's a nice paragraph to read as innuendo btw

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 05:37 (fourteen years ago) link

altho surely the biggest asshole in this whole thing is the guy who goes by the name "J. Hoberman"

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 05:39 (fourteen years ago) link

i wonder if he ever has a single non-haughty moment in his life, or if you could wake him up in the middle of the night and catch him completely off guard and he'd still go "how DARE you sir, i demand retribution"

some dude, Friday, 12 March 2010 05:40 (fourteen years ago) link

altho surely the biggest asshole in this whole thing is the guy who goes by the name "J. Hoberman"

― hitler runoff (J0rdan S.)

How so?

The fabric of ILX is woven from threads of hate (KMS), Friday, 12 March 2010 06:17 (fourteen years ago) link

you make it sound like "j. hoberman" is some kind of bizarre pen name. his name is jim hoberman.

and i don't see how he's doing much of anything aside from answering the question of whether or not white actually wrote the words he is said to have written. obviously there's no love lost between him and armond, but that appears to be true of the entire human race.

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 06:48 (fourteen years ago) link

pretty much i'm saying that it begins and ends with "j. peterman" - no one else is allowed to do the "j. [last name]" thing -- and at least his name was JACOPO

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 06:54 (fourteen years ago) link

& i have no problem with his blog post about armond -- i just thing the name abbreviation is pretty douchey

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 06:55 (fourteen years ago) link

why?

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 06:55 (fourteen years ago) link

i think it's pretentious

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 06:57 (fourteen years ago) link

okay "Jordan S."

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 07:05 (fourteen years ago) link

;-)

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 12 March 2010 07:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Damon has perfected looking down his nose at his superiors, fellow grunts, shifty-swarthy Iraqis—and us. It is an insidious, racist, fascist characterization.

http://www.albumoftheyear.org/album/covers/king.jpg

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 09:28 (fourteen years ago) link

pretty much i'm saying that it begins and ends with "j. peterman" - no one else is allowed to do the "j. [last name]" thing -- and at least his name was JACOPO

― hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, March 12, 2010 6:54 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

the hell?

j-ho came before seinfeld ne way

gfunkboy (history mayne), Friday, 12 March 2010 09:29 (fourteen years ago) link

i was

kidding

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 09:31 (fourteen years ago) link

i do think it's pretentious tho

hitler runoff (J0rdan S.), Friday, 12 March 2010 09:31 (fourteen years ago) link

unsure what seinfeld has to do w/ this

just sayin, Friday, 12 March 2010 09:52 (fourteen years ago) link

jacopo was a character in seinfeld. none of this matters. j hoberman is a fine critic and armond white is... not.

gfunkboy (history mayne), Friday, 12 March 2010 10:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Love that defence. "What's he mad at me for? I'm obsessed with his wife, doesn't that count for something?" Nope, that probably doesn't help at all.

I can't believe how much I hate Armond White - it's the kind of shuddering, visceral loathing I usually only experience with politicians and Fox News hosts. His political readings are usually so insanely contrary that he reminds of that guy who posts long blogs about how Lady Gaga is a tool of the Illuminati.

gotanynewsstory? (Dorianlynskey), Friday, 12 March 2010 11:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Trying to figure WTF about Jennifer Jason Leigh's body of work in from that decade makes her the "the best actress in the ’90s" according to Armond White. The only role of hers that I could recall from that time period was in Dolores Clairborne. I can't recall anything special about her performance in that film.

The fabric of ILX is woven from threads of hate (KMS), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:38 (fourteen years ago) link

I find her an irritant.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:41 (fourteen years ago) link

i think she's kind of not-good, but she did do some good movies: miami blues, kansas city, hudsucker proxy... existenz.

gfunkboy (history mayne), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:41 (fourteen years ago) link

Watching her act is like watching a Palmetto bug on its back, squirming.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:41 (fourteen years ago) link

i was gonna say "mary louise parker would have been better in those movies" and i guess that's JJL had an "arc" on weeds

gfunkboy (history mayne), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Existenz was good, but Armond seems to be a Cronenberg hater so I can't see him appreciating her acting in that film.

The fabric of ILX is woven from threads of hate (KMS), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link

what a dilemma for armond "consistency" white

gfunkboy (history mayne), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link

like her a lot in mrs. parker & the vicious circle, existenz, the king is alive

zvookster, Friday, 12 March 2010 16:48 (fourteen years ago) link

for the record, JJL is fantastic

Get the Flaps Out (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:52 (fourteen years ago) link

white "denied responsibility" for making the abortion comment before holberman got the review he made it in from the library and put it online, leading to his pathetic "Reading the English language, I am not calling for him to be aborted" defense. What a prince this guy is.

zvookster, Friday, 12 March 2010 16:53 (fourteen years ago) link

She and Phoebe Cates make Fast Times at Ridgemont High on for the ages!

The fabric of ILX is woven from threads of hate (KMS), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:56 (fourteen years ago) link

one for ages

The fabric of ILX is woven from threads of hate (KMS), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:57 (fourteen years ago) link

More caffeine please!

The fabric of ILX is woven from threads of hate (KMS), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:57 (fourteen years ago) link

gave me a high-on for the ages

goole, Friday, 12 March 2010 16:58 (fourteen years ago) link

Hudsucker, Existenz, Last Exit to Brooklyn, Fast Times, Synechdoche, Palindromes, The Hitcher (lol), the Anniversary Party - she's been good in a lot of stuff

Get the Flaps Out (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 12 March 2010 16:59 (fourteen years ago) link

it's kind of sad that Jennifer Jason Leigh and Rachel Leigh Cook have become intertwined in my mind when I read their names, right

we call him black Nev coz he's black & his names Neville (HI DERE), Friday, 12 March 2010 17:04 (fourteen years ago) link

doesn't sound sad to me

goole, Friday, 12 March 2010 17:04 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah actually it sounds kind of hot, nvrmind

we call him black Nev coz he's black & his names Neville (HI DERE), Friday, 12 March 2010 17:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Georgia

(also the name of Baumbach's mom)

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 March 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago) link

Lincoln/Kennedy coinky-dink that.

Roomful of Moogs (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 12 March 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago) link

altho Georgia was the name of Mare Winningham's character in that film.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 March 2010 18:26 (fourteen years ago) link

I saw Georgia a few weeks ago and – wow. She's like Meryl Streep: tic tic tic. The only scene in which I believed her was her "terrible" onstage performance.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 12 March 2010 19:06 (fourteen years ago) link

i don't find meryl tic-y. JJL is though.

jed_, Friday, 12 March 2010 19:16 (fourteen years ago) link

What is the actual abortion comment?

ryan, Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:58 (fourteen years ago) link

holy hell, I am not reading all of that

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Only through the help of a critical colleague (whose identity must be protected) was I able to RSVP to a Greenberg screening.

max, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:29 (fourteen years ago) link

(better photographed, too: I liked Harris Savides’ image of Stiller barely swimming across a pool—possibly an homage to my joke that Baumbach was the rat at the bottom of Margot at the Wedding’s pool)

seems pretty likely that the shot was an homage to armond white

max, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link

an 'armage' if you will

max, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link

The Indian-giver discourtesy is reflected in the film itself,

classy. this guy is such a putz.

aw beat de holy jasus.. (stevie), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:31 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm a music journalist, and even i think he's too far up himself.

aw beat de holy jasus.. (stevie), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

tldr

feel bad now that I gave NY Press a click

dmr, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

i always thought it was "jay hoberman"

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link

seems pretty likely that the shot was an homage to armond white

loll

dmr, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link

if every publicist bans armond white maybe he'll work himself into such a fit of rage that he spontaneously combusts, and then we'll be rid of him. sound like a plan?

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:34 (fourteen years ago) link

Stepping into this Greenberg controversy, Hoberman holds onto his pathetic, unexamined anger. It exposes the hidden conspiracy by him and his backward children (you know who you are) to control film discourse. They give Baumbach the acclaim and attention withheld from less well-connected indie filmmakers. Their defense of Baumbach disguises their reluctance to engage this writer in a forthright discussion of aesthetics; it’s basically a witch hunt.

Well, not with me you don’t! As Chairman of the New York Film Critics Circle, I must rise above it. Hoberman’s despotic behavior blurs the line between criticism and gossip—as when disparaging Kael, relentlessly attacking Spielberg for opposing his own ethnic shibboleths or more recently giving traitorous praise to the movie Green Zone for encouraging insurrection in the American military.

goole, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:35 (fourteen years ago) link

By going against one critic’s independence while protecting Baumbach’s petulant, supercilious filmmaking, Hoberman and Dart reveal their roles in the contemporary power structure (represented by casting Ben Stiller as an icon of the gentry). They want to normalize the arrogance of class privilege. Baumbach is not just their darling scion; he’s their unaborted poster-child. Baumbach’s movies pave the way for the elite to pass advantages on to their own progeny, to maintain the status quo.

velko, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:35 (fourteen years ago) link

"disparaging Kael"

despotism!

lipster grifter (history mayne), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:37 (fourteen years ago) link

i was gonna end my clip at "I must rise above it" which is just amazing, given the previous 1000+ words, but the final line about green zone was just too bizarre to pass up. traitorous? encouraging insurrection? does he always flip the david horowitz switch on when he wants to?

goole, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:39 (fourteen years ago) link

can a mod change the title to read "another egomaniacal Armond White review ..."

queen frostine (Eric H.), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:39 (fourteen years ago) link

their roles in the contemporary power structure (represented by casting Ben Stiller as an icon of the gentry)

dmr, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:40 (fourteen years ago) link

lol @ a paulette complaining about a film critic trying to influence other critics' opinions

velko, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:41 (fourteen years ago) link

white is clearly a delusional megalomaniac.

i hope hoberman stays classy and just ignores this walking temper-tantrum.

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:43 (fourteen years ago) link

It was an honorable, cordial system until—after the mid-’80s rise of entertainment media—studios and their publicists exerted greater control over media access to films, insuring favorable/biased coverage.

Dear Armong Wite if there is no "invite" to a "screening" it is my understanding that the "NY Post" gives you something called "money" that you can "spend" to "see the movie."

Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft (Pancakes Hackman), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Fact: The following lines, from a June 3, 1998, review of Mr. Jealousy that appeared in New York Press, do not constitute a call for abortion:

“I won’t comment on Baumbach’s deliberate, onscreen references to his former film-reviewer mother [Georgia Brown] ex[cept to note how her colleagues now shamelessly bestow reviews as belated nursery presents. To others, Mr. Jealousy might suggest retroactive abortion.”

The last line is not Oscar Wilde but it’s also not a death warrant; its impact is in your inference. It clearly points out the clubhouse aspect of Baumbach’s raves, then contrasts natal congratulations with their demurral. No more than that. The abortion quip is easily understood unless your goal is to besmirch another critic and wage a personal attack. This was not sourcing Internet myth nor fact-checking, but spreading hateful, damaging rumors as per our degraded, gossip-obsessed media. Hoberman hasn’t stooped this low since questioning Pauline Kael’s ethnicity and ethnic loyalty simply for not liking the movie Shoah. By resurrecting the corpse of Georgia Brown’s undistinguished, forgotten movie-reviewing career—defending his former underling and buddy—Hoberman once again found an underhanded way of praising himself. In short, it was a Greenberg tantrum.

goole, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link

does white have an editor? that rambling screed lurches from an attack on hoberman to a review of the film and then back to hoberman with no warning.

by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link

Interesting that Armond White believes that calling for retroactive abortion is "the act of demurring, especially a mild, polite, or considered expression of opposition." (emphasis mine)

The point he's missing is that he constructed that entire segment to be very pointedly about positive reviews from critics being stand-ins for congratulating dude's mom for birthing him; there is no way for the abortion comment to be abstract if it supposed to contrast the previous statement. If he wanted that level of deniability, he needed to make an analogy rather than using a simile.

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:53 (fourteen years ago) link

this is what happens when you think what you do is "important"

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 16:57 (fourteen years ago) link

I honestly have no idea how you could read that review as suggesting anything other than that Baumbach be aborted.

Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:05 (fourteen years ago) link

totally siked to read this tbh

lipster grifter (history mayne), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Hoberman and Dart reveal their roles in the contemporary power structure

oh for chrissakes people still writing and thinking like this?

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:10 (fourteen years ago) link

meetings of the ny film crix circle must be kinda tense

lipster grifter (history mayne), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:11 (fourteen years ago) link

I honestly have no idea how you could read that review as suggesting anything other than that Baumbach be aborted.

He is trying to say that the good reviews from is mothers' peers are akin to baby shower gifts, whereas his bad review is akin to someone crashing the party and saying "baby wasn't worth it". He is not trying to actually call for dude's abortion, he is trying to give dude's movie a bad review and is attempting to cast its impact in terms of the simile he set up about the mother's perceived self-regard. The problem is that it is nigh-impossible to make that kind of direct comment and not have it be taken as a blatant statement that dude should have been aborted.

smoking cigarette shades? it doesn't even make any sense. (HI DERE), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:12 (fourteen years ago) link

is this much different from "I KIlled Christgau with My Big Fucking Dick"?

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago) link

- not a record

lipster grifter (history mayne), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago) link

Would Thurston Moore have sullied his dick with xgau's brains?

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago) link

is there any1 better @ trolling than armond? love this dude

no chapo (Lamp), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:16 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond's writing style lends itself quite well to being misunderstood and misinterpreted.

Your body is a spiderland (polyphonic), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:16 (fourteen years ago) link

"retroactive abortion", though? that's a jokey way of saying murder

it's pretty clear what white was saying: "Mr. Jealousy" has references to the director's mother, other critics are saying nice things about the movie because they are sucking up to the director's mother in lieu of giving a baby shower gift, but I think the film is bad enough that georgia brown should have killed noah baumbach as a kid before he made it. ha ha.

amazing that he thinks he can say he meant something else and expect anyone to believe it.

goole, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:18 (fourteen years ago) link

and no i don't think he "really" meant to say baumbach should be killed really actually in real life

goole, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:18 (fourteen years ago) link

is this much different from "I KIlled Christgau with My Big Fucking Dick"?

― Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, March 17, 2010 12:14 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

did noah baumbach make a movie about how much he hates armond white?

goole, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:20 (fourteen years ago) link

meetings of the ny film crix circle must be kinda tense

How did he ever get voted president or is it decided by lottery?

queen frostine (Eric H.), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Pauline Kael appeared to him in a dream.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:24 (fourteen years ago) link

did noah baumbach make a movie about how much he hates armond white?

that was only the entire subtext of Margot at the Wedding, jeez, how did you miss that. the entire movie was a subliminal dig at Armond

dmr, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:43 (fourteen years ago) link

he inspired Jack Black's character iirc

dmr, Wednesday, 17 March 2010 17:44 (fourteen years ago) link

he is right about publicists and critics, of course

(guessing those of you who dutifully trot out to every hyped stinker on opening weekend hv no comment there)

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:23 (fourteen years ago) link

of course

max, Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:28 (fourteen years ago) link

can't believe i still haven't read this

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:37 (fourteen years ago) link

probably too busy dutifully trotting out to every hyped stinker on opening weekend

max, Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:39 (fourteen years ago) link

Greenberg, the big-budget mumblecore movie by Noah Baumbach, should enter the language as Woody Allen’s Zelig did—a title that goes beyond ethnic specificity to stand for a particular social disorder: the tendency toward vanity, suppression and censorship.

this is all kind of awkward isn't it? im not 100% sure what it means. the word greenberg should go beyond the specific (jewishness? am i reading this right?) to the particular (vanity, suppression, censorship)?

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Jim Hoberman joined the crackdown, exhibiting his own case of Greenberg syndrome.

wait what? the hobes has moved to LA to deal with some personal shit?

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:50 (fourteen years ago) link

take it easy max, i dont even know what you thought of Dooly Appointed etc.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:52 (fourteen years ago) link

It was an honorable, cordial system until—after the mid-’80s rise of entertainment media—studios and their publicists exerted greater control over media access to films, insuring favorable/biased coverage. Publicists’ power increased as the media gave itself over to non-inquisitive, low-integrity forms of celebrity news and gossip.

morbs, he isn't otm about this. the idea that the publicity machine only got going in the mid-80s is ludicrous. i mean, just off the top of my head, you have the whole kael/beatty thing in the 70s. but apart from that, publicists have always, always tried, as they are paid to, to get favourable responses to films. access, baby, access.

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:55 (fourteen years ago) link

"got going" i take to mean bringing it to a whole new level, tail wags dog, etc.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:57 (fourteen years ago) link

well, yeah, alright.

these arguments should be made by someone who isn't mental tho.

("bringing it to a whole new level" is not very morbs imo.)

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:58 (fourteen years ago) link

imo hoberman should "step up to the plate" and respond

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 11:59 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah, publicists go back before the 80s. the difference is the perception of the relevance of critics, and their increasingly disposable nature when it comes to marketing films (it seems more important in the case of Greenberg, but maybe that's part of where the outrage comes from).

Freddy 'The Wonder Chicken' (Gukbe), Thursday, 18 March 2010 12:36 (fourteen years ago) link

dudes you are NOT taking an armo article seriously right?

by another name (amateurist), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:04 (fourteen years ago) link

he has good points amid the craziness, almost always. You know, like music writers.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:06 (fourteen years ago) link

The abortion uproar seems more serious, but it’s easily dismissed as a mere nit-picking gripe. Even if I had advised abortion (which I did not), fact is, abortion remains a hallmark of the privileged class that extols Baumbach.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:07 (fourteen years ago) link

yah thats really good but this is my favorite part btw:

It’s unfortunate to have to point out that it is also a racist lynching by white critics of a black critic. Fact: Year after year, Hoberman never even deigns to review movies with black subjects, and he passes this racist contempt on to his epigones. That’s hegemony.

lacks some of the subtlety of other passages but makes it up for just going top level on the racial shit + fact colon construction

Lamp, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:10 (fourteen years ago) link

would it be possible to reconstruct armonds political philosophy

max, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:12 (fourteen years ago) link

is it some kind of n/l right-wing marxism?

max, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:12 (fourteen years ago) link

xpost Not without a claims adjuster.

queen frostine (Eric H.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:13 (fourteen years ago) link

j-hob responded btw:

Further unburdening his mind, Armond expresses displeasure that I criticized Pauline Kael's review of Shoah, panned a number of Steven Spielberg's movies, and most recently gave "traitorous praise to the movie Green Zone for encouraging insurrection in the American military." Sanity has prevailed, though. At least he hasn't called for my "retroactive abortion" (yet), even if I am "the scoundrel-czar of contemporary film criticism," a publicist-coddling representative of the film industry status quo as well as "a force behind racist snobbery in the film festival circuit (which led to such cultural disasters as Precious)" who, "like some nefarious, shadowy dictator in a Fritz Lang silent" exerts an influence that "stretches from coast to coast, institution to institution." It's true!

Tomorrow, I plan to get universal health care, settle the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and bring the Dodgers back to Brooklyn.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Can Hoberman and Dart’s objections to the very mention of abortion mean that they are, in fact, Pro-Life? (I remember Hoberman railing against Juno for choosing life while praising the Romanian abortion thriller 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days.) Can’t wait to see Hoberman and Dart defend their Pro-Life position on the Glenn Beck show.

fuck that, give armond his own show imo

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link

hoberman is pro-life! he hated the pro-life juno! he's pro-life!

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link

i shamefully admit that i would watch this guy on tv

call all destroyer, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:17 (fourteen years ago) link

funnier than Arrested Development, but then so was Shoah.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:18 (fourteen years ago) link

u shldnt play tball when were discussing the pros here doc

is it some kind of n/l right-wing marxism?

gramscian whos been mugged

Lamp, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Shoah was objectively pro-jewish and pro-Netanyahu.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:20 (fourteen years ago) link

has anyone read his bio of Tupac?

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link

ayo i just posted that

call all destroyer, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:22 (fourteen years ago) link

dudes you are NOT taking an armo article seriously right?

― by another name (amateurist), Thursday, March 18, 2010 3:04 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

only film crit to take seriously imo

jenkem pensky (cozen), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:23 (fourteen years ago) link

Armond has a charming talent for piling adjectives and adverbs as if the use of them transformed the object of his wrath into whatever he thought of him.

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:24 (fourteen years ago) link

Like if he called Hoberman a "narcoleptically slavish ladybug."

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:25 (fourteen years ago) link

It exposes the hidden conspiracy by him and his backward children (you know who you are) to control film discourse.

kind of impressed that hoberman didn't take too seriously all these weird "global conspiracy" zingers

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:27 (fourteen years ago) link

rly dunno how anyone can defend a. white here. this is the most transparently bad faith shit-talking i've seen displayed in serial public utterances this side of an NRO Corner writer

goole, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:28 (fourteen years ago) link

http://flann4.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/strangelove.jpg

j hoberman and the "inner circle"

call all destroyer, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:28 (fourteen years ago) link

"ok yeah i DID call for someone to be retroactively aborted, but it's not like he's offended, RICH PEOPLE love abortion!! ps he's RACIST, because of Precious!!"

goole, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:31 (fourteen years ago) link

armond white always reminds me of his fellow esteemed critic meredith merridew:

http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsM/12385-19246.gif

Ward Fowler, Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Gore Vidal?

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:37 (fourteen years ago) link

"Given this crisis, I can no longer keep silent about the conspiracy"

My favourite line. Reminds me of something you'd find in a very long letter in a local newspaper's crank file.

gotanynewsstory? (Dorianlynskey), Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:45 (fourteen years ago) link

That’s hegemony.

^^^^ great title for a musical version of this white/hoberman dust-up

velko, Thursday, 18 March 2010 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link

I'll bet Glenn Kenny is cursing his new years resolution to stop dicking on other critics.

Freddy 'The Wonder Chicken' (Gukbe), Thursday, 18 March 2010 17:15 (fourteen years ago) link

From Armond's Participation in the Slate's 2004 Movie Club:

A review should be judged by its substance. Its argument should be engaged. Name-callers who ignore the argument are just being insulting; it's a feeble attempt to simply dismiss the argument.

stuffies don't have corn in 'em (KMS), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:45 (fourteen years ago) link

perhaps Glenn hasn't fully resolved!

http://somecamerunning.typepad.com/some_came_running/2010/03/jim-hoberman-begins-his-work-day.html

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 18 March 2010 21:48 (fourteen years ago) link

would it be possible to reconstruct armonds political philosophy
― max, Thursday, March 18, 2010 10:12 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark

1. all other critics are wrong
2. they are motivated by their hatred of america and me black people me/black people (same thing)

i think if you are taking this asshole seriously you have been conned

by another name (amateurist), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link

it's funny to see armond railing against "gossip obsessed media" with this particular column

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link

By resurrecting the corpse of Georgia Brown’s undistinguished, forgotten movie-reviewing career

c'mon, son

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link

this column is so absurd

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Watching The Squid and the Whale, I thought, "Laura Linney can probably write pithy reviews."

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Capsule review: Greenberg is a mite less obnoxious than Baumbauch’s other films (better photographed, too: I liked Harris Savides’ image of Stiller barely swimming across a pool—possibly an homage to my joke that Baumbach was the rat at the bottom of Margot at the Wedding’s pool).

hahahaha hold on -- armond is floating the idea that the 'greenberg' cinematographer trojan horsed a reference to an armond zing of baumbach into the movie??????

http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/GetOnMyComp_gm.jpg

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Don’t get it twisted: This Greenberg squabble is not about me

http://i35.tinypic.com/x1f448.jpg

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:14 (fourteen years ago) link

This Greenberg squabble is not about me

this is like red-alert level of orwellian doublespeak. congrats, armond!

by another name (amateurist), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:15 (fourteen years ago) link

fuck, i did not know this was the magazine's effing COVER STORY!!1!!ONE!

what kind of a readership is it?

truly batshit editorial move

lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:27 (fourteen years ago) link

one that is unknown aside from the antics of armond white, from what i can glean

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:31 (fourteen years ago) link

Is there a gif of Armond White with him shrugging exaggeratedly captioned "THAT'S JUST ARMOND!" in 80s sitcom font?
Because if not, I would like to commission one...

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 18 March 2010 22:33 (fourteen years ago) link

perhaps Glenn hasn't fully resolved!

He's definitely slipped a few times, but I'm waiting for an all-out relapse that sees the 'Armond White-ism of the Week' come back.

Freddy 'The Wonder Chicken' (Gukbe), Friday, 19 March 2010 01:29 (fourteen years ago) link

The NY Press usta be well worth reading 10-20 years ago, when Armond shared film duty w/ Godfrey Cheshire, and there was a regular column by Dennis Perrin.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 March 2010 01:35 (fourteen years ago) link

*slowly backs away*

funky house septics, let me drain you of this (J0rdan S.), Friday, 19 March 2010 01:39 (fourteen years ago) link

haha

The Magnificent Colin Firth (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 19 March 2010 01:55 (fourteen years ago) link

gramscian whos been mugged

― Lamp, Thursday, March 18, 2010 3:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

lol

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 19 March 2010 02:03 (fourteen years ago) link

fuck, i did not know this was the magazine's effing COVER STORY!!1!!ONE!

what kind of a readership is it?

truly batshit editorial move

― lipster grifter (history mayne), Thursday, March 18, 2010 6:27 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

well i've never read single thing in the ny press not written by armond so it's like i think he's pretty much all the bullets in the gun

call all destroyer, Friday, 19 March 2010 02:57 (fourteen years ago) link

so, he likes the new Bellocchio a lot.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 March 2010 11:45 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

"Telephone" was more exciting that any feature-length American film released so far this year

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:23 (thirteen years ago) link

yes he's talking about the lady gag video

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:23 (thirteen years ago) link

he needs an "everyone knows it's butters!"-type theme

Greatest contributor: (history mayne), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:25 (thirteen years ago) link

The title Kick-Ass enshrines a bully’s ethic. Though it is unpopular to say, this proves Tarantino’s contribution to Abu Ghraib mentality. Perhaps

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:31 (thirteen years ago) link

But the lyrics in "Telephone" are a different matter: "I don’t want to talk anymore/ I left my head and my heart on the dance floor" celebrates a heedless refusal to communicate; to mindlessly, heartlessly indulge pop culture

i guess dancing is pop culture now \(o_O)/

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:31 (thirteen years ago) link

J0rdan, name a single decent American-made feature film this year.

Tarantino’s contribution to Abu Ghraib mentality

kind of undeniable as a general principle.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:40 (thirteen years ago) link

thread's not the same since omar/gear left ilx

is it really that hard to spot all these fake british dudes? (velko), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:41 (thirteen years ago) link

we ah dooley appointed fehduhral mahshuls

Greatest contributor: (history mayne), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:41 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah, dancing is pop cuture, where the fuck u been?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:41 (thirteen years ago) link

he did?!

xxxpost

cool and remote like dancing girls (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:41 (thirteen years ago) link

is omar/gear the same person? most of you make no impression on me.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:42 (thirteen years ago) link

J0rdan, name a single decent American-made feature film this year.

"shutter island"

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:44 (thirteen years ago) link

& anyway, the "telephone" video sucks too!

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:44 (thirteen years ago) link

"the runaways"

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:46 (thirteen years ago) link

doubt it's better than Gaga video

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:51 (thirteen years ago) link

Armond does a music-video program at Lincoln Center every summer, maybe you should fly in and troll him.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:52 (thirteen years ago) link

gear got hitched and has better things to do now than dissect insane armond screeds and scumbag yelper reviews

is it really that hard to spot all these fake british dudes? (velko), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:52 (thirteen years ago) link

morbs, i think armond is generally a good critic & i would like to see his music video thing -- his statement about the "telephone" video is just the definition of a challenging opinion

World B. FAP (J0rdan S.), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:54 (thirteen years ago) link

I can't imagine that a wife is more fulfilling than interpolating quotes from JFK but whatev.

cool and remote like dancing girls (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:56 (thirteen years ago) link

"morbs, i think armond is generally a good critic"

no, no he is not

the gay guy from vampire weekend (Tape Store), Friday, 7 May 2010 01:56 (thirteen years ago) link

i don't agree with his opinions that often but he provokes thought, which is rare in criticism in the internet age, be it film or music

J0rdan S., Friday, 7 May 2010 01:58 (thirteen years ago) link

he articulates ideas, no matter how wacky they sometimes are

J0rdan S., Friday, 7 May 2010 01:58 (thirteen years ago) link

"name a single decent American-made feature film this year"

if we're talking docs, i could name at least ten

if we're talking fiction, i haven't seen but have heard great things about COLD WEATHER, BLUE VALENTINE, WINTER'S BONE, TINY FURNITURE and PUTTY HILL.

the gay guy from vampire weekend (Tape Store), Friday, 7 May 2010 02:03 (thirteen years ago) link

he didnt say 'decent' he said 'exciting' dummies

max, Friday, 7 May 2010 02:58 (thirteen years ago) link

how exciting did y'all find Vincere btw? oh, went to Hot Tub Time Machine instead eh

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 03:03 (thirteen years ago) link

vincere only played for like two weeks or s.thing?

coining (Lamp), Friday, 7 May 2010 03:10 (thirteen years ago) link

"he provokes thought"

i suppose, in the same fly that a mosquito buzzing around the room might "provoke thought."

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 7 May 2010 07:03 (thirteen years ago) link

same WAY

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 7 May 2010 07:03 (thirteen years ago) link

Iron Man 2 was really exciting. And it seemed like the kind of flick White would like, too.

Mordy, Friday, 7 May 2010 07:05 (thirteen years ago) link

" kind of flick White would like, too."

you mean that it got bad reviews from every other respectable critic?

by another name (amateurist), Friday, 7 May 2010 07:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Telephone is like the 8th best Akerlund music video, but I guess Armond decided he wouldn't seem ballsy enough if he championed them instead.

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 7 May 2010 07:07 (thirteen years ago) link

xpost, I didn't mean EXACTLY that, but it was close enough to my sentiment

Mordy, Friday, 7 May 2010 07:08 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

It's pretty funny how annoyed some people are with him for ruining Toy Story 3's 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. "How dare he have a different opinion?" Of course it would be better if his argument against the movie wasn't blatantly contrarian bullshit.

Just to give you a taste: "Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence."

http://www.nypress.com/article-21357-bored-game.html

Haunted Clocks For Sale (Dorianlynskey), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:16 (thirteen years ago) link

It's a troll, but that's his schtick. People should be used to it by now.

ô_o (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link

My only real question is why does anyone care about a 100 percent rating on RT?

rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:18 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't think the angry Toy Story 3 fans are aficionadoes of Armond's work, which is why it's so funny. They're like, "Why, it's almost as if he's hating this movie just to be different!" Well yes.

Haunted Clocks For Sale (Dorianlynskey), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:19 (thirteen years ago) link

That fanboy whining in full:

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Meet-The-Only-Two-People-Who-Hate-Toy-Story-3-19118.html

"It’s impossible for an opinion to be wrong. Most of the time. Sometimes though, something is so self-evident that it moves beyond opinion. When everyone in the world gets together and agrees that yes, this is really good, that one lone voice standing in the corner and shouting the opposite isn’t just a different opinion, it’s a wrong opinion."

Haunted Clocks For Sale (Dorianlynskey), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:22 (thirteen years ago) link

Pixar has now made three movies explicitly about toys, yet the best movie depiction of how toys express human experience remains Whit Stillman’s 1990 Metropolitan.

^^^lol comedy gold in the very first sentence. don't ever change armond

Pixar has now made three movies explicitly about toys, yet the best movie depiction of how toys express human experience remains Whit Stillman’s 1990 Metropolitan. As class-conscious Tom Townsend (Edward Clements) tries fitting in with East Side debutantes, he discovers his toy cowboy pistol in his estranged father’s trash. Without specifying the model, Stillman evokes past childhood, lost innocence and Townsend’s longing for even imagined potency. But Toy Story 3 is so besotted with brand names and product-placement that it stops being about the innocent pleasures of imagination—the usefulness of toys—and strictly celebrates consumerism.

Not seen it, but the previews did reek of a lesser Whit Stillman.

Gee, Officer (Gukbe), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:23 (thirteen years ago) link

gah. shakey got there already.

Gee, Officer (Gukbe), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Hah, I already beat both y'all! Toy Story 3 anticipation thread

Yah, there are plenty of weak spots through which one could poke your finger into Toy Story 3 and deflate the whole thing, but it not living up to the legacy of Walt Stillman isn't among them.

rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Monday, 21 June 2010 18:25 (thirteen years ago) link

Haven't seen the movie, or the first 2 TSs, but Pixarfans, get a life

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 21 June 2010 19:12 (thirteen years ago) link

what about Whit Stillman fans?

Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 21 June 2010 19:16 (thirteen years ago) link

of all of the statements Morbius has made about movies, "Pixarfans, get a life" strikes me as easily being the least controversial

HI DERE, Monday, 21 June 2010 19:18 (thirteen years ago) link

also I still find AW, even since he's lost his mind, a more reliable barometer than Shakey Mo

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 21 June 2010 19:39 (thirteen years ago) link

?

I didn't think our tastes in movies is THAT far apart, Apatow aside

I definitely have no love for Pixar for ex.

I'm hearin' voices in my head think I'm schizophrenic
I swear they sayin' "stan for 'transformers 2'" from another planet

kaká flocká flame (J0rdan S.), Monday, 21 June 2010 19:46 (thirteen years ago) link

"Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence."

Armond is now my hero. He's like..an artist. Wielding ridiculous challops like nunchakus.

LOS CATIOS (latebloomer), Tuesday, 22 June 2010 02:21 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

By my count there are about three declarative statements in this entire piece that are not categorically inaccurate. The rest is a seething tissue of factual errors, self-negating examples, glaring elisions, logical inconsistencies, specious industrial analysis, mystifying rhetorical constructions and basic grammatical errors.

nice. and that's the thing -- white's opinions aren't the problem, because who cares, it's a free country. it's the quality of his criticism and the general lack of anything that feels like insight.

a tenth level which features a single castle (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:20 (thirteen years ago) link

good stuff in that article

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:22 (thirteen years ago) link

Man cannot live on challops alone.

ô_o (Nicole), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:30 (thirteen years ago) link

On There Will Be Blood:
"Plainview is the most remarkable movie performance since Eddie Murphy’s Norbit trifecta."

Oh Armond, you rebel.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:38 (thirteen years ago) link

pretty decent article above

Nhex, Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Really ought to give Norbit a try, given I even liked Murphy's fat schtick in the second Nutty Prof.

rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:43 (thirteen years ago) link

I love his fat schtick but Nutty Professor looks like Lubitsch next to Norbit.

Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:48 (thirteen years ago) link

(Lubitsch means nothing to you, of course)

Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:48 (thirteen years ago) link

Means not as funny as There Will Be Blood.

rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 02:49 (thirteen years ago) link

Fat schtick is the worst, you guys.

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 03:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Raging Bull is the worst kind of sports film, an insult to true art like Mighty Ducks 3.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 7 July 2010 04:13 (thirteen years ago) link

It's been a while since I saw it, but I think that Armond White is right and that columnist wrong about the scene from Metropolitan. I mean, Eigeman's character says the lines the columnist says he says, but the point is that the toys ARE the protagonist's childhood toys abandoned by his father. Great movie, but far from the best scene in it.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 04:51 (thirteen years ago) link

The older article linked w/in that one is also amazing, w/ AW's 'top ten' quotes.

He was totally OTM re Chameleon Street, which I saw him introduce at AMMI in Astoria.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 7 July 2010 11:22 (thirteen years ago) link

I do think it is fair to say that Roger Ebert destroyed film criticism. Because of the wide and far reach of television, he became an example of what a film critic does for too many people. And what he did simply was not criticism. It was simply blather. And it was a kind of purposefully dishonest enthusiasm for product, not real criticism at all…I think he does NOT have the training. I think he simply had the position. I think he does NOT have the training. I’VE got the training. And frankly, I don’t care how that sounds, but the fact is, I’ve got the training. I’m a pedigreed film critic. I’ve studied it. I know it. And I know many other people who’ve studied it as well, studied it seriously. Ebert just simply happened to have the job. And he’s had the job for a long time. He does not have the foundation. He simply got the job. And if you’ve ever seen any of his shows, and ever watched his shows on at least a two-week basis, then you surely saw how he would review, let’s say, eight movies a week and every week liked probably six of them. And that is just simply inherently dishonest. That’s what’s called being a shill. And it’s a tragic thing that that became the example of what a film critic does for too many people. Often he wasn’t practicing criticism at all. Often he would point out gaffes or mistakes in continuity. That’s not criticism. That’s really a pea-brained kind of fan gibberish.

Armond discusses the state of film criticism on the slashfilmcast

orakle-krake (Gukbe), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:37 (thirteen years ago) link

complete bullshit, as per ush.

david effing bordwell did the preface for ebert's most recent collection. willing to bet he's more 'pedigreed' than armond white.

I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:41 (thirteen years ago) link

the internet has stolen the impact and prestige and effect that traditional professional film criticism used to have.

ha gimme a fuckin break. "traditional professional" yeah sorry, that never existed.

goole, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:42 (thirteen years ago) link

someone broke Armondbot

he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:44 (thirteen years ago) link

He's like the Spencer Pratt of film crit.

ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:44 (thirteen years ago) link

lol armond is a trained and pedigreed film critic. congratufuckinglations.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:45 (thirteen years ago) link

bet he had a small stroke Richard Roeper took over from Siskel.

orakle-krake (Gukbe), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link

Taking his argument at face value: Does he really think that there are no "pedigreed" film critics in the US other than himself? There are plenty of other film professors in the world, and many of them write about film in some way or another, and many of them are over 30! But he can't even name one of them to pay lip service to? Terrible.

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:52 (thirteen years ago) link

oh man I wish they'd replaced Siskel with Armond...

Major Lolzer (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:52 (thirteen years ago) link

polyphonic, you are missing the point, which is that Armond White is a raging egomaniac with terrible taste

he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:53 (thirteen years ago) link

i like the conclusion of that article, "he's not a troll, just an attention whore"

goole, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:55 (thirteen years ago) link

"i've got the training" lol

al-goreda (s1ocki), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:55 (thirteen years ago) link

he trained for years, eating popcorn, sitting on his ass, making shit up...

Major Lolzer (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 19:58 (thirteen years ago) link

polyphonic, you are missing the point, which is that Armond White is a raging egomaniac with terrible taste

I don't really agree that he has terrible taste. I just think his tastes are too narrow. His favorite films are all good films, in my experience.

Definitely a raging egomaniac, though.

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:01 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't know what he lists as his favorite films but he gave a very positive review to "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" and he is not 10.

he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:01 (thirteen years ago) link

I guarantee you that he will never watch that movie a second time.

no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:03 (thirteen years ago) link

http://alumnus.caltech.edu/~ejohnson/critics/white.html

I take back the "terrible taste" comment; the good far outweighs the terrible on these lists.

still gonna be "lol he liked the Transformers sequel" though

he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Armond BlackandWhite.

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:09 (thirteen years ago) link

08. Out of Sight (Steven Spielberg)

lol

Major Lolzer (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:14 (thirteen years ago) link

i think that's the website's type, and not armond's. hope so anyway.

goole, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:15 (thirteen years ago) link

those lists don't capture the sheer joy he gets out of big-upping terrible movies just because everyone else is panning them.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:15 (thirteen years ago) link

typO

xp

goole, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:15 (thirteen years ago) link

He also hadn't yet wrapped his vagina around Pismol Beach in 1998.

Eric H., Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:28 (thirteen years ago) link

Pismo

Eric H., Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:30 (thirteen years ago) link

01. Saving Private Ryan (Steven Spielberg)

my man

de jong and the restless (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:30 (thirteen years ago) link

09. Mr. 3000 (Charles Stone III)

god i hope i can find the review of this

de jong and the restless (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:32 (thirteen years ago) link

It's actually really good imo.

Eric H., Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:41 (thirteen years ago) link

mr. 3000 or armond's review of mr. 3000?

de jong and the restless (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Andre 3000's review of Armond.

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:42 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't know what he lists as his favorite films but he gave a very positive review to "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" and he is not 10.

― he does NOT have the training (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 20:01 (56 minutes ago)

The problem with the positive review for transformers 2 is the negative review for transformers 1, which is better in all ways. I fucking love giant robots fighting, and transformers 1 is just definitively a better giant robot movie.

Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 21:01 (thirteen years ago) link

he genuinely loves Norbit and considers it one of the high points of African American culture.

orakle-krake (Gukbe), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 21:04 (thirteen years ago) link

It is. That and Arthur Lee.

Sensational Howard (admrl), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 21:09 (thirteen years ago) link

And Armond White

Sensational Howard (admrl), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 21:09 (thirteen years ago) link

he genuinely loves Norbit and considers it one of the high points of African American culture.

― orakle-krake (Gukbe), Tuesday, July 20, 2010 9:04 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Def. a low point for chinese-american culture.

Rasputia: What... the...? What just fell on my car?
Mr. Wong: Not what - who! Who just fell on your car? Ching chong ching chong!

---

also: the Japanese title for Norbit is "Mad Fat Wife"

Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 20 July 2010 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link

You guys' obsession w/ Armond-bashing is as tiresome as your finding Christopher Nolan's blitzkriegs the most fascinating films of our time.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 02:52 (thirteen years ago) link

if only i could think of something else tiresome

be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 02:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Threads aren't revived because of obsessions -- it's fun!

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 02:54 (thirteen years ago) link

you surely saw how he would review, let’s say, eight movies a week and every week liked probably six of them.

Yeah, I don't think so. Ebert will call shit for being shit, always has.

Beach Pomade (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Whoever you read, hold them to a standard, and don’t simply enjoy a critic because they say what you want to hear. But read as many people as you care to, but ask yourself: Are they REALLY talking about what’s on the screen? Do they know the history of this form? Do they have any political awareness? Do they have any spiritual, or moral, or religious awareness even?

This from a man who loves THE CAT IN THE HAT. Has anyone else here seen THE CAT IN THE HAT?

Beach Pomade (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Ebert is an intelligent, readable hack who had admitted he dumbed himself down on TV.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:17 (thirteen years ago) link

please, more critics with religious awareness

u dad (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:19 (thirteen years ago) link

That's actually one of his other coherent points.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Seriously, you guys, Mr. 3000 is much better than it needs to be and I highly recommend it.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Unlike smugly cynical humanist ogres Ebert Armond White is a thoughtful, sensitive critic and the best argument for America since David Bowie's transcendent cameo in "Zoolander".

latebloomer, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:45 (thirteen years ago) link

such as Ebert

latebloomer, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:46 (thirteen years ago) link

d'oh

latebloomer, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 03:46 (thirteen years ago) link

You guys' obsession w/ Armond-bashing is as tiresome as your finding Christopher Nolan's blitzkriegs the most fascinating films of our time.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, July 21, 2010 2:52 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

At least Armond has probably bothered to watch the movies he criticizes, I'll give him that.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 04:02 (thirteen years ago) link

zing!

San Te, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:42 (thirteen years ago) link

i think Armond's point about review-everything mass media middlebrow film criticism in general isn't a terrible one, though it would probably be better to direct it at, say, Peter Travers. Ebert is probably one of the least offensive examples.

ryan, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 14:48 (thirteen years ago) link

physician heal thyself imo

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 14:58 (thirteen years ago) link

it's extremely difficult for physicians to actually heal themselves, the stethescope lead just gets twisted

Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:04 (thirteen years ago) link

physician heal thyself imo

yeah excellent point. and it doesn't help that Armond's bluster often seems borne of a persecution complex for being excluded from that particular clique.

ryan, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:09 (thirteen years ago) link

I really don't think 'middlebrow critics' are a clique, they just appeal to the Great Unwashed rather than hang out at the malt shop together.

Matt, pay me to see all the movies, or go fuck yourself.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:14 (thirteen years ago) link

the stethescope lead just gets twisted

― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 21, 2010 10:04 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

no it doesn't

be told and get high on coconut (gbx), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:15 (thirteen years ago) link

heh how did i know you'd have a second opinion on that

Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:20 (thirteen years ago) link

i dunno Morbs he has a point, I could be wrong, but from my experience, generally reviews written by people who were actually in the theatre at the exact time the film was scheduled to show tend to contain a greater level of accuracy then dart throwing by an internet troll.

San Te, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:23 (thirteen years ago) link

ya there's just a certain ... je ne sais quoi... about having actually seen the art in question before criticizing it that elevates the writing to another level

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:27 (thirteen years ago) link

it's like they're reviewing it on a deeper level somehow.

Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:28 (thirteen years ago) link

And yet we can all criticize Armond White without actually reading him.

Eric H., Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:35 (thirteen years ago) link

it would be kinda interesting if someone consistently reviewed movies they hadn't seen for a major publication and then wait to see if anyone ever caught on.

ryan, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:35 (thirteen years ago) link

i read armond white and then i criticize him

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:36 (thirteen years ago) link

there is, his name is david denby, and yes weve noticed (xp)

an0n (Lamp), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:36 (thirteen years ago) link

really? Which movies?

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:37 (thirteen years ago) link

as Bob Dole said, "Stop lying about my record."

So do you guys think Armond was right about Vincere and Wild Grass?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:43 (thirteen years ago) link

YOU KNOW, MOVIES THAT DON'T MATTER

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:44 (thirteen years ago) link

everything i've criticized him for, i've read.

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:46 (thirteen years ago) link

really? Which movies?

haha well obviously...

but i was mostly thinking abt his winter's bone review that characterized it as "something new in movies: a 'country-noir' thriller."

an0n (Lamp), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:46 (thirteen years ago) link

i didn't read his vincere review. i did interview marco bellochio and write a feature about the film for my paper tho. it's possible to think more than one kind of movie is worthwhile.

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:47 (thirteen years ago) link

you mean like The Girl on the Train and Despicable Me?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:51 (thirteen years ago) link

not... specifically...?

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:51 (thirteen years ago) link

those were the exact two types of movies i was thinking it was possible to like

an0n (Lamp), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:52 (thirteen years ago) link

like, those two, in particular

an0n (Lamp), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:52 (thirteen years ago) link

im not even sure where this is going

I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Those are 2 AW favorites of this year. I'm just as irritated with his automatic-pilot rants as many of you, but he also thinks more than one kind of movie is worthwhile.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:55 (thirteen years ago) link

but you ppl only get upset at his "contrarian" takes on your beloved multiplex must-see-on-the-first-weekend shit, so what else is new

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:56 (thirteen years ago) link

the special thing about a. white is not which movies he likes and dislikes but the offhand sweeping contempt at all the other shills and frauds who don't like and dislike what he does. a man alone!!

xp ha that's some kind of xp right there

goole, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:56 (thirteen years ago) link

(I'm not talking about s1ocki or even a non-English-language-film-hater like nrq)

Yeah, he is completely tiresome with the Anointed One stuff, no argument

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:58 (thirteen years ago) link

but you ppl only get upset at his "contrarian" takes on your beloved multiplex must-see-on-the-first-weekend shit, so what else is new

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, July 21, 2010 4:56 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

like 'the hurt locker' iirc

I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:59 (thirteen years ago) link

but you ppl only get upset at his "contrarian" takes on your beloved multiplex must-see-on-the-first-weekend shit, so what else is new

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, July 21, 2010 11:56 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

u mean HIS beloved multiplex must-sees like transformers and GI joe?

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:59 (thirteen years ago) link

even a non-English-language-film-hater like nrq

i've seen like three foreign-ass films in the last week, son

I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:00 (thirteen years ago) link

foreign 'ass films' dont count

al-goreda (s1ocki), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:00 (thirteen years ago) link

... if he were a cheerful whacko instead of a rageaholic one one he'd be an ilx hero like terius nash or the struttin that ass guy

goole, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:02 (thirteen years ago) link

one of them had emmanualle beart true

I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:03 (thirteen years ago) link

but you didn't consider any "great" in the '00s

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:06 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.alliancevideousa.com/images/broken-record-765056.jpg

San Te, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:08 (thirteen years ago) link

... if he were a cheerful whacko instead of a rageaholic one one he'd be an ilx hero like terius nash or the struttin that ass guy

― goole, Wednesday, July 21, 2010 12:02 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

otm

max, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:27 (thirteen years ago) link

people love ebert because hes nice not because hes got any great insight

and people hate armond cause hes a dick

max, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:27 (thirteen years ago) link

^^^real talk

Major Lolzer (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link

I like a dick who's consistent though.

*sniggers as he waits for joeks*

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link

as long as they rise to the occasion eh

Major Lolzer (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:31 (thirteen years ago) link

or are a head of their times.

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:36 (thirteen years ago) link

and are very long and hard

latebloomer, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:44 (thirteen years ago) link

this is like the fourth dick joke i've made on ilx today, btw :-/

latebloomer, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 16:45 (thirteen years ago) link

always stick to what you know

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 17:21 (thirteen years ago) link

always dick to what you know

Eric H., Wednesday, 21 July 2010 17:22 (thirteen years ago) link

Bunch of private dicks in here.

Would love to hear Bam babble about this (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 17:24 (thirteen years ago) link

We're your private dicks, a dick for money.

Eric H., Wednesday, 21 July 2010 17:44 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXSsseXKpzs

Beach Pomade (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 20:55 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

I really want to see Resident Evil Afterlife now, just to spot the deceptively dark homage to Demy's Umbrellas of Cherbourg.

Also: "This Resident Evil is superior to Avatar and Inception on every level"

a cankle of rads (Gukbe), Thursday, 16 September 2010 01:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Also: "This Resident Evil is superior to Avatar and Inception on every level"

― a cankle of rads (Gukbe), Thursday, September 16, 2010 1:38 AM (5 seconds ago) Bookmark

I doubt I'll agree with Armond on Inception, but Avatar....

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 16 September 2010 01:39 (thirteen years ago) link

When Alice is resurrected from her android state (“Thank you for making me human”), it confirms Anderson’s ingenuity as a life force.

da croupier, Thursday, 16 September 2010 01:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Is he a Paul Thomas Anderson fan? I don't know how else to explain his not announcing that this Paul Anderson is so much better than that other Paul Anderson.

da croupier, Thursday, 16 September 2010 01:49 (thirteen years ago) link

"Bad Bitcharama" is such a weird headline for a piece with one line describing the lead character and the rest blowing kisses to the man who "essayed" this movie.

da croupier, Thursday, 16 September 2010 01:56 (thirteen years ago) link

That's just the new name for all his columns.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 16 September 2010 02:16 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Rizov Rages

No Good, Scrunty-Looking, Narf Herder (Gukbe), Wednesday, 6 October 2010 02:32 (thirteen years ago) link

totalhttp://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPGthat resident evil review

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 6 October 2010 04:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Life As We Know It

Pretty amazing how he manages to pry his (pretty decent though I've not seen the film) review into a further diatribe on The Social Network and its relation to the Rutgers suicide.

No Good, Scrunty-Looking, Narf Herder (Gukbe), Thursday, 7 October 2010 05:11 (thirteen years ago) link

We can’t pretend that anything is more important in film culture than the Internet humiliation-death of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi taking place the same week as the media hype for The Social Network.

We interrupt this Katherine Heigl romcom review to bring you this pressing commentary...

da croupier, Thursday, 7 October 2010 05:22 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Just posting this line from the Jackass 3D review for posterity:

Steve O’s Super Cocktail Bungee routine in a feces-filled port-a-john utilizes distance and trajectory in a way that recalls the great waterslide joke in Norbit (and should help rehabilitate that wonderful film’s unfair reputation).

No Good, Scrunty-Looking, Narf Herder (Gukbe), Friday, 22 October 2010 07:29 (thirteen years ago) link

hahahahahaha

some droopy HOOS in makeup (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 22 October 2010 07:32 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/GetOnMyComp_gm.jpg

J0rdan S., Friday, 22 October 2010 07:34 (thirteen years ago) link

Director Jeff Tremaine’s final 3D trick is a celebration with in-yourface explosions, wreckage and confetti.
It imitates the destruction of bourgeois materialism at the end of Zabriskie Point, then becomes an end-credits montage singling out each of the Jackasses alongside their nostalgic schoolboy photos. An accompanying Weezer tune, “Memories,” describes a longing for innocent carelessness. It’s an indulgence, but to understand it is to understand why the terrorists hate us and why Jackass 3D is also a political documentary.

oh i love tfg

some droopy HOOS in makeup (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 22 October 2010 07:36 (thirteen years ago) link

armond has a richard branson esque compound up his own ass

J0rdan S., Friday, 22 October 2010 07:40 (thirteen years ago) link

are u renting yours out?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 October 2010 11:43 (thirteen years ago) link

"It’s an indulgence, but to understand it is to understand why the terrorists hate us and why Jackass 3D is also a political documentary."

JACKASS 4: It's Why They Hate Us

Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Friday, 22 October 2010 12:23 (thirteen years ago) link

the terrorists hate our catapult porta-potty efforts

Mordy, Friday, 22 October 2010 13:05 (thirteen years ago) link

AW trying to rehab his ILX cred this week: he hates Stephin Merritt AND Sasha Frere-Jones!

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 29 October 2010 17:47 (thirteen years ago) link

loool

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 29 October 2010 17:57 (thirteen years ago) link

amazing as ever.

No Good, Scrunty-Looking, Narf Herder (Gukbe), Friday, 29 October 2010 17:59 (thirteen years ago) link

typically nuts review and as always i hate the less-than-thinly-veiled implication (made by aw here and there and occasionally seen on ilx) that music that is made by a certain sort of white person and has a particularly white style is wholly irrelevant and those who are of a certain lifestyle and demographic are thoroughly unimportant and easily dismissed (or in this review's estimation, people who never leave the house!) lol, i dunno.

omar little, Friday, 29 October 2010 18:34 (thirteen years ago) link

and it seems whenever this sort of "type" is dismissed, it feels almost like a bullying attitude or something, like the high-school weirdos who are in awkward and shy adulthood are still regarded as just not strong or masculine or extroverted enough. it's kind of strange that this sort of criticism is maybe considered valid in some quarters.

omar little, Friday, 29 October 2010 18:46 (thirteen years ago) link

I thought you had mistakenly posted in the NRO thread.

sandra lee, gimme your alcohol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 29 October 2010 18:51 (thirteen years ago) link

how long til armond pens a piece for them i wonder

omar little, Friday, 29 October 2010 18:54 (thirteen years ago) link

that review sounds less like armond than a certain cohort of ilm posters passing through an armond filter

call all destroyer, Friday, 29 October 2010 19:02 (thirteen years ago) link

well, exactly. Gooble gobble, one of us!

For those of you who haven't favorited Armond's page:

http://nypress.com/article-21788-magnetic-personality.html

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 29 October 2010 19:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Experience Music Project panel in Seattle—a bizarrely unintelligible seminar

heavens!

richard move (buzza), Friday, 29 October 2010 19:21 (thirteen years ago) link

a dozen or so of you ppl were there in the Zip-a-Dee year, no? and once you've been called bizarrely unintelligible by Armond...

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 29 October 2010 19:24 (thirteen years ago) link

not sure if this was the same year but reminded me of this
final lolution

richard move (buzza), Friday, 29 October 2010 19:29 (thirteen years ago) link

The fact that his contempt for hip-hop—the most inclusive music genre there ever was—

bwhwhahahahahahahahaha

stay golden armond

klacktoveedesteen (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 29 October 2010 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link

cmon Shakey, if we count MC Paul Barman it even includes obnoxious Jewish guys who are not the Beastie Boys

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 29 October 2010 20:23 (thirteen years ago) link

if only Stephen Merritt RAPPED how much more honest and inclusive his music would be

klacktoveedesteen (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 29 October 2010 20:39 (thirteen years ago) link

hip-hop, a welcoming musical community of white homsexuals

klacktoveedesteen (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 29 October 2010 20:40 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

The straightforward title bests the recent Italian art flick I Am Love. Without hiding a political agenda behind hipster sophistication like that chi-chi Tilda Swinton vehicle, this very American satire (produced with uncanny pop instincts by the redoubtable Luc Besson!) proves convincingly romantic: Carrey and McGregor display absolute ardor in their characters’ respective risks and bravery, patience and devotion. These virtues become enlightening in a comedyof-manners context that defies the sanctimony that made Brokeback Mountain so patronizing.

I Love You, Phillip Morris

Gukbe, Friday, 3 December 2010 17:59 (thirteen years ago) link

Armond otm

(cept i am probably watching I Am Love tonight)

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:02 (thirteen years ago) link

I dug I Am Love but I fail to see the comparison other than the word "Love" in the title.

Gukbe, Friday, 3 December 2010 18:03 (thirteen years ago) link

the "hipster sophistication of I Am Love, eh. He might as well have said "Mussolini chic."

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:05 (thirteen years ago) link

I liked IAL a lot but it's really a very hot bowl of stromboli. Look at it as an early Visconti film in color.

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:06 (thirteen years ago) link

I have to admit, "I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry" was way funnier than I expected

Yeezy reupholstered my pussy (DJP), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:09 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah i think he's using a very liberal ie wtf understanding of 'hipster'

possibly preferable to minute analysis of the same term

Ectothiorhodospira shaposhnikovii (nakhchivan), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:10 (thirteen years ago) link

one important thing to remember is that armond white literally hates everyone else on the planet

omar little, Friday, 3 December 2010 18:21 (thirteen years ago) link

I just wanna know whether Philip Morris addresses, unpacks, makes mockery of or simply cashes in on gays' self-loathing.

Miss Garrote (Eric H.), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:28 (thirteen years ago) link

I dug I Am Love but I fail to see the comparison other than the word "Love" in the title.

I expect Armond is digging in a little bit at diva worship among the demographic in question.

Miss Garrote (Eric H.), Friday, 3 December 2010 18:29 (thirteen years ago) link

it's not "self-loathing" when you realize you don't have anything else in common w/ these cocksuckers, Eric.

anyway, you all missed the relevant passage:

I admit this movie might not have seemed half as true if I hadn’t seen episodes of the LOGO reality-TV show The A-List, in which a clique of white, bourgie gay Manhattanites demonstrate totally loathsome habits and behavior. Steven is a Southern variant of their kind—a mad materialistic peacock—who unexpectedly finds his soul when he finds a soul mate.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 December 2010 19:16 (thirteen years ago) link

but to answer your question, it unfudgepacks gay self-worship.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 December 2010 19:18 (thirteen years ago) link

holy lol

Yeezy reupholstered my pussy (DJP), Friday, 3 December 2010 19:41 (thirteen years ago) link

as Jeff Zuckereisenberg might ask, "Which part?"

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 December 2010 19:47 (thirteen years ago) link

"unfudgepacks"

you have an amazing gift for disdainful wordplay, it makes me incredibly envious

Yeezy reupholstered my pussy (DJP), Friday, 3 December 2010 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link

Keep working at it, Morbs. You are that close to joining Armond among the ranks of the intractable.

Miss Garrote (Eric H.), Friday, 3 December 2010 20:02 (thirteen years ago) link

hey, he bashes bourgie gays w/ "The A List," I do it with Out magazine.

what's your stake in this since you turned asexual?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 December 2010 20:04 (thirteen years ago) link

I value living vicariously through others' sex lives. (With the obvious exceptions, of course.)

Miss Garrote (Eric H.), Friday, 3 December 2010 21:09 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

woops, didn't see your text was a link, my bad

da croupier, Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:21 (thirteen years ago) link

at least more entertaining than the films that won

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:23 (thirteen years ago) link

maybe they'll let you take over when he dies

da croupier, Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:25 (thirteen years ago) link

that's what he looks like? in that case every photo i have seen of him until now has been ridiculously flattering.

jed_, Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:30 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm glad ppl who are still naive enough to be registered Gawker commenters also revere Roger Ebert

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:31 (thirteen years ago) link

i found this pretty funny in a cuntish way tbh.

michelle williams seems to have done pretty well in her response though. did she win for blue valentine or was she presenting?

jed_, Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:33 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, I was going to say Michelle Williams handled it with class.

Gus Van Sotosyn (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:35 (thirteen years ago) link

everybody knows what AW is like, being chairman is obv a job no one else wants.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:37 (thirteen years ago) link

btw the actual quote from AW in that piece is pretty mild.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 11 January 2011 17:42 (thirteen years ago) link

that's what he looks like? in that case every photo i have seen of him until now has been ridiculously flattering.

― jed_, Tuesday, January 11, 2011 5:30 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

looks like he's lost a lot of weight

Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 11 January 2011 21:24 (thirteen years ago) link

lol, armond you are a treat

tylerw, Tuesday, 11 January 2011 21:57 (thirteen years ago) link

haha what is wrong w/this guy

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 15:47 (thirteen years ago) link

basically an irl troll?

tylerw, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 15:53 (thirteen years ago) link

haha what is wrong w/this guy

To start, he liked The Fighter.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 15:56 (thirteen years ago) link

he seems genuinely pathological

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 15:57 (thirteen years ago) link

Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky actually started things last night, when he told White from the stage, "You give us all another reason not to read New York Press."

Appropriate, since Aronofsky gives me another reason to hesitate to set foot in a cinema.

hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:00 (thirteen years ago) link

You know, Armond's favorite movie of 2010 was Scott Pilgrim.

And his favorite of all time A.I. so he is cool.

Umm, I think that's my glass. (laser precise purpose maker era), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:03 (thirteen years ago) link

aronofsky is a better director than white is a critic (or person)

omar little, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:04 (thirteen years ago) link

actually AW cited his two favorites of '10 as Wild Grass and Vincere.

Aronofsky's first two films were good, still waiting.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:09 (thirteen years ago) link

lol dude

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:13 (thirteen years ago) link

hmm, so I got trolled?

see this list from
http://www.indiewire.com/critic/armond_white/#

1) Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
2) Vincere
3) Wild Grass
4) Mother and Child
5) Life During Wartime
6) Another Year
7) Inspector Bellamy
8) The Girl on the Train
9) Takers
10) From Paris With Love

vs this one from Sight and Sound
http://www.bfi.org.uk/sightandsound/polls/films-of-2010-full.php#white

Wild Grass (Les herbes folles)
Vincere
Mother and Child
Life During Wartime
Another Year

Now I want to watch Wild Grass.

Umm, I think that's my glass. (laser precise purpose maker era), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:27 (thirteen years ago) link

perhaps S&S doesn't recognize Canadian films

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 16:41 (thirteen years ago) link

scott pilgrim is better than wild grass

moholy-nagl (history mayne), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 18:54 (thirteen years ago) link

haven't caught up with 'takers' tho

moholy-nagl (history mayne), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 18:55 (thirteen years ago) link

can't wait for his "chris brown > rihanna" slam when battleship comes out

da croupier, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:36 (thirteen years ago) link

I think bringing up Battleship should draw the Armondism "I pity you"

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:05 (thirteen years ago) link

White is almost always wrong, but he's right about Darren Aronofsky. Pi was awesome, Requiem for a Dream seemed sort of okay on first viewing but gets worse and worse every time I think about it, and The Fountain and The Wrestler are pretty much unredeemable piles of shit. I haven't seen Black Swan because three failures out of four attempts = you get no more of my time or money.

that's not funny. (unperson), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Requiem for a Dream was the worst experience I ever had in a movie theater. I did like Pi, but it had the sheen of "promising first-time filmmaker"

hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:17 (thirteen years ago) link

I think bringing up Battleship should draw the Armondism "I pity you"

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, January 12, 2011 9:05 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark

Oh come on, he's gonna fucking LOVE Battleship.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:30 (thirteen years ago) link

either that, or hell use the review to praise GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra or a similarly awful action movie.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:34 (thirteen years ago) link

i was going to say, battleship will be "better than" whichever critically acclaimed film mildly questions american foreign policy.

omar little, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 21:37 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.nypress.com/article-22053-indecent-exposure.html

<3 u Armond

polyphonic, Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:08 (thirteen years ago) link

racist pseuds

Bening is all smiley in that photo with him, though.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Watched "Scott Pilgrim" again the other night, and really really enjoyed it. Still haven't seen Black Swan but will probably do so today...

Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:18 (thirteen years ago) link

"For years now, Hoberman hasn't been able to stand the heat of the New York Press' competition. "

C0L1N B..., Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:23 (thirteen years ago) link

This is like an epic diss track.

not the sort of person who would wind up in a landfill (Nicole), Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes, racism motivates Schwarzbaum and Hoberman. They pretend to be hip and ladylike...

J. Hoberman pretends to be ladylike?

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:33 (thirteen years ago) link

Their fit of public indecency brings pettiness, sour grapes—and their privilege—into the open when normally it never affects public perception of the critical ranks.

I notice he doesn't mention his Greenberg dis at all.

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:35 (thirteen years ago) link

uh this basically seems like ppl are castigating AW because he didn't simperingly kiss butt but presented kind of honestly?

zvookster, Thursday, 20 January 2011 20:55 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah, i dunno. to me it reads like an arrogant asshole sucking his own dick (note mixed metaphor). failing to take a joke, getting petty and bitchy about it, and lavishing praise on the only person with the "wisdom" to acknowledge his own incredible importance. horrible, horrible piece of writing.

normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:04 (thirteen years ago) link

uh this basically seems like ppl are castigating AW because he didn't simperingly kiss butt but presented kind of honestly?

― zvookster, Thursday, January 20, 2011 8:55 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

commencing eye-roll sequence

moholy-nagl (history mayne), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:12 (thirteen years ago) link

White also introduced playwright Tony Kushner, who was there to award The Social Network best picture, by saying, "Maybe he can explain why it won best picture."

yeah he's like ricky gervais up in this bitch, s0 funny, not afraid to tell it like it is

moholy-nagl (history mayne), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Two things

- lolling at the dude who fantasized about a "retroactive abortion" (no matter how otm) chastizing others for having "sick fantasies"

- sexy-maternal?????

hard as a markers (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link

otm?

omar little, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:17 (thirteen years ago) link

the sexy-maternal thing really says it all

ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:19 (thirteen years ago) link

parasite suckling at the engorged teats of a monster etc

ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:19 (thirteen years ago) link

the thing about AW is he's not being honest even w/r/t to his own opinions i think. he projects weird shit onto other people and has a martyrdom complex that should be a case study. it's not surprising he gives bitchy negative reviews to antiwar movies tbh.

omar little, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:20 (thirteen years ago) link

he went so far out of his way to say nice things abt michele williams that she made a joke of it. he responded to aronofsky saying "u give us another reason not to read your paper" with "“That’s all right. Darren reads me. That’s all I want. And because he reads me, he knows the truth.” which is fine, considering that's kind of vicious, what he's responding to. and he finished a long praise-filled preamble with "Surely Kushner, whose great play Angels in American showed how spiritual and social connections transformed lust and duty to family, friends and country into moral responsibility, will explain why The Social Network is deserving." which is over the line, but the reactions were hit pieces based on his offending some kind of social politesse

zvookster, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:20 (thirteen years ago) link

i wonder how many movies he hates he would actually love if he wasn't 24/7 aware of what other critics thought about them.

omar little, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:21 (thirteen years ago) link

he responded to aronofsky saying "u give us another reason not to read your paper" with "“That’s all right. Darren reads me. That’s all I want. And because he reads me, he knows the truth.” which is fine, considering that's kind of vicious, what he's responding to.

kind of deserved an incredibly sarcastic "COMEBACK" from darren aronovsky but i guess ymmv

really though, "because he reads me, he knows the truth”? that's pretty weak

moholy-nagl (history mayne), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:22 (thirteen years ago) link

he went so far out of his way to say nice things abt michele williams that she made a joke of it.

that's a sweet way to look at someone introducing a woman by saying "well, i liked that movie you made four years ago" and her saying "woof, guess i won't read anything you've written about my movies since then."

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:22 (thirteen years ago) link

isn't it just the only way to look at it

zvookster, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:26 (thirteen years ago) link

so why did Armond call her "naive" in his new piece?

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:27 (thirteen years ago) link

as in naive Michelle Williams and gullible Mark Ruffalo followed suit, perhaps nervously thinking this is what film folk do in the presence of critics: a rare chance to settle scores.

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:28 (thirteen years ago) link

the point is he's responding to lying, dishonest & apparently very successful hit pieces, i'm not going to defend his being butthurt that actors made fun of him

zvookster, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:29 (thirteen years ago) link

"dishonest"

Gus Van Sotosyn (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:30 (thirteen years ago) link

"naive" for following the herd, i think, as in "i want to like her still, she was just naive"

zvookster, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:30 (thirteen years ago) link

seems like the only real difference in perception is whether annette bening was pissed at him (their take) or her fellow actors (his take), or whether he said Kushner "surely could explain" why the Social Network was deserving (his take) or whether he said MAYBE Kushner could explain (their take)

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:31 (thirteen years ago) link

even without him stooping to calling a couple of other writers total racists for hating him (though w/schwarzbaum maybe it comes down to the time he called her a cunt or w/e during a NYFCC debate and then proudly wrote about it in the NY Press), he's been this kind of creep for years and well beyond the usual snark, so even if he was gracious (and according to himself he was the most ingratiating person in the room) he would still have had it coming if anyone bitched him out.

omar little, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:32 (thirteen years ago) link

he responded to aronofsky saying "u give us another reason not to read your paper" with "“That’s all right. Darren reads me. That’s all I want. And because he reads me, he knows the truth.”

what this reads like, to me, is armond failing to understand that the role of critics at functions like this is to be affable about getting roasted. being affable demonstrates deference, and it's likewise the critic's job to defer to artists, at least in polite social/public settings. armond chafes at that. he rightly sees these demonstrations of deference as an acknowledgment of the critic's lesser status relative to celebrity artists. of course, he doesn't see the critic as any less important than what he critiques. quite the opposite. his own criticism clearly demonstrates this. it's no mere response to cinema. armond's criticism is an aggressive attempt to reshape the perceived meaning of films, essentially to remake them, to push them into shapes that only HE could or would design. cinema is the raw material from which armond creates the world, and he can't seem to tolerate any suggestion that he is not the most important being in it.

normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:39 (thirteen years ago) link

^^^OTM

ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:41 (thirteen years ago) link

The art for this piece is a picture of him with Annette Bening and little hearts around them.

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:41 (thirteen years ago) link

Cuz, you see, otherwise people wouldn't know she was on his side.

da croupier, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:41 (thirteen years ago) link

cinema is the raw material from which armond creates the world,

Armond would totally use this as blurb material for his next book.

Gus Van Sotosyn (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:42 (thirteen years ago) link

so while he infantilizes himself in describing his relationship w/Bening, he also refuses to cede any authority - the infant is the mother's equal, but it is also paradoxically the center of the world

xp

ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:42 (thirteen years ago) link

I hope he and John Simon drink at the same watering hole.

From the guys who brought you Fay Weldon (Eazy), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:43 (thirteen years ago) link

starting to seriously think this dude needs psychiatric help

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:45 (thirteen years ago) link

He got the old antagonisms rolling, then naive Michelle Williams and gullible Mark
Ruffalo followed suit

Mark Ruffalo, well known victim of Rick-Rolls.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:46 (thirteen years ago) link

The art for this piece is a picture of him with Annette Bening and little hearts around them.

She has a heart on for Armond.

not the sort of person who would wind up in a landfill (Nicole), Thursday, 20 January 2011 21:58 (thirteen years ago) link

what this reads like, to me, is armond failing to understand that the role of critics at functions like this is to be affable about getting roasted. being affable demonstrates deference, and it's likewise the critic's job to defer to artists, at least in polite social/public settings. armond chafes at that. he rightly sees these demonstrations of deference as an acknowledgment of the critic's lesser status relative to celebrity artists. of course, he doesn't see the critic as any less important than what he critiques. quite the opposite. his own criticism clearly demonstrates this. it's no mere response to cinema. armond's criticism is an aggressive attempt to reshape the perceived meaning of films, essentially to remake them, to push them into shapes that only HE could or would design. cinema is the raw material from which armond creates the world, and he can't seem to tolerate any suggestion that he is not the most important being in it.

― normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Thursday, January 20, 2011 9:39 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark

"being affable demonstrates deference", no it doesn't!

darren aronofsky's zing was merited wasn't it? no-one takes armond white seriously as a critic.

moholy-nagl (history mayne), Thursday, 20 January 2011 22:01 (thirteen years ago) link

i don't have the energy to argue the point. can we just agree that i'm right?

normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Thursday, 20 January 2011 22:30 (thirteen years ago) link

or what -- you'll insult us at the next New York Film Critics Circle meeting?

Gus Van Sotosyn (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 20 January 2011 22:30 (thirteen years ago) link

it's no mere response to cinema. armond's criticism is an aggressive attempt to reshape the perceived meaning of films, essentially to remake them, to push them into shapes that only HE could or would design.

I have a certain affection for Armond because of this. He comes out with a lot of absurd reviews that bring the lolz, but I like (at least, on a conceptual basis) this notion of reshaping (or, rather, finding new perspectives on) the meaning of films. He makes intriguing arguments from time to time, when he's not being all the things this thread is saying. All those problems get in the way, of course, but it would be great if he would focus in and open up a debate about some of the films he champions that nobody else does.

Gukbe, Friday, 21 January 2011 06:46 (thirteen years ago) link

^ agree with much of that. wish he were less aggro & egomaniacal about it.

normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Friday, 21 January 2011 09:47 (thirteen years ago) link

City Island > The Social Network
Gotta have at the Facebook movie once again, if only to counter the fallacious consensus that no other movie dealt with the Internet phenomenon. Ray De Felitta's emotionally large family comedy and Andy Garcia's warm comeback performance epitomized timeless, non-cyber interfacing.

i saw city island. it's bad. juliana margulies is good in it. the only thing about it that "dealt with the Internet phenomenon" was a lame subplot where the weird son is secretly into fat girls, and finds out the online performer he's obsessed with actually lives next door to him. what are the chances?

goole, Friday, 21 January 2011 15:05 (thirteen years ago) link

"the internet phenomenon"

max, Friday, 21 January 2011 15:57 (thirteen years ago) link

this whole internet fad

max, Friday, 21 January 2011 15:57 (thirteen years ago) link

the phenomenon of distracting people so they can't watch foreign films w/ subtitles

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 21 January 2011 16:03 (thirteen years ago) link

its not my fault i cant speak all the languages

max, Friday, 21 January 2011 16:10 (thirteen years ago) link

city island was set in queens but it wasn't subtitled

goole, Friday, 21 January 2011 17:20 (thirteen years ago) link

for some reason i find julianna margulies a total babe w/ straight hair but not w/ curly hair. and usually i like curly haired chicks

max, Friday, 21 January 2011 17:21 (thirteen years ago) link

just adding another data point 2 this informative discussion

max, Friday, 21 January 2011 17:21 (thirteen years ago) link

*concurs*

goole, Friday, 21 January 2011 17:31 (thirteen years ago) link

thirded

Gukbe, Friday, 21 January 2011 17:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Armond wd make a fine ST villain, if JJ Abrams is lurking

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 21 January 2011 18:07 (thirteen years ago) link

Should at least be Ming The Merciless for Halloween

da croupier, Friday, 21 January 2011 18:30 (thirteen years ago) link

the phenomenon of distracting people so they can't watch foreign films w/ subtitles

reminder: you are stanning for a douche who pretends to love the transformers movies for fun & profit

chev rivera (stevie), Saturday, 22 January 2011 12:39 (thirteen years ago) link

that was mostly a max joke, genius

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 22 January 2011 15:01 (thirteen years ago) link

I have no idea how ppl know that AW doesn't actually like Transformers.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 22 January 2011 15:02 (thirteen years ago) link

same way we know moon landing wasn't real

i love tampon spaceship (San Te), Saturday, 22 January 2011 15:04 (thirteen years ago) link

"real" as in it actually happened or "real" as in it was all a front to check out the Transformers wreckage on the other side of the moon?

Gukbe, Saturday, 22 January 2011 16:04 (thirteen years ago) link

Well there's certainly nothing racially offensive in those Transformers movies!

Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 22 January 2011 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link

yea Optimus Prime is totally sporting Latin Kings colors

i love tampon spaceship (San Te), Saturday, 22 January 2011 16:45 (thirteen years ago) link

well actually no that'd be Bumblebee

i love tampon spaceship (San Te), Saturday, 22 January 2011 16:47 (thirteen years ago) link

for some reason i find julianna margulies a total babe w/ straight hair but not w/ curly hair. and usually i like curly haired chicks

― max, Friday, January 21, 2011 12:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

same here, my wife has curly hair, but i never gave JM a second look until when she was on scrubs and i was like woah

gosamosapodin simgibmelreel (some dude), Saturday, 22 January 2011 17:24 (thirteen years ago) link

I have no idea how ppl know that AW doesn't actually like Transformers.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 22 January 2011 15:02 (5 hours ago)

you mean Transformers II, of course, because somehow he didn't like the first one but felt the second was good. Which is completely ridiculous and unbelievable.

Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 22 January 2011 20:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Well there's certainly nothing racially offensive in those Transformers movies!

― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, January 22, 2011 4:29 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Pretty sure Armond loves racially offensive movies, considering his positive review for Norbit.

Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 22 January 2011 20:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Armond wd make a fine ST villain, if JJ Abrams is lurking

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 21 January 2011 18:07 (Yesterday)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/armondwhite090223_250copy.jpg

the size of Snow's skin pistol (latebloomer), Saturday, 22 January 2011 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link

but really, what do you guys think of his liking 35 Rhums but not White Material? (same as me actually)

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 22 January 2011 21:06 (thirteen years ago) link

He couldn't find a connection in White Material he could manipulate into a diss of Social Network or Greenberg.

Your cousin, Marvin Cobain (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 22 January 2011 21:11 (thirteen years ago) link

have no problem with him liking 35 rhums whatsoever, it's a great movie

chev rivera (stevie), Sunday, 23 January 2011 00:08 (thirteen years ago) link

AW liking good movies here and there is totally a blind chicken finding some corn

gosamosapodin simgibmelreel (some dude), Sunday, 23 January 2011 00:25 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Armond the maverick quite likes Your Highness (tho it's no Gentlemen Broncos), but he gets off a good shot at the Arthur remake:

No wonder Arthur’s mother (Geraldine James) warns, “As the coffee-colored gentleman who runs this country said: It’s time to put childish things behind us.” Actually, someone else said that first.

http://www.nypress.com/article-22281-inner-geeks.html

your generation appalls me (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 9 April 2011 16:31 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Digging through some old Spin magazines and read about Armond's role in Public Enemy's Professor Griff row. He called Griff's dismissal "the most terrible example of sellout I have witnessed in my lifetime" and called Chuck D "another bought, whipped slave." Good to see that offensive, misguided hyperbole is not limited to his movie reviews.

We need to talk about Bevan (DL), Tuesday, 24 May 2011 12:16 (twelve years ago) link

I just realized I had no idea how he sounded in person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBxruT4LEaA

Dude should be stroking a cat

da croupier, Tuesday, 24 May 2011 12:49 (twelve years ago) link

If you watch that, he complains that everyone lied about the last NY Film Critics Circle Awards. Then describes the exact same anecdote I recall reading (Aaronofsky made some crack, White responded "that's ok, he reads my articles, so he knows the truth") and says everyone else lied about it, without saying what THEY erroneously reported.

also...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWrjJZR6PfE

again, "they lied...they lied" never saying what the "lie" was - double checked Lisa Schwarzbaum's piece and...yeah, i still don't know what the lie was, other than the suggestion that Armond wasn't awesome: http://insidemovies.ew.com/2011/01/11/armond-white-darren-aronofsky-nyfcc-awards/

da croupier, Tuesday, 24 May 2011 12:55 (twelve years ago) link

Digging through some old Spin magazines and read about Armond's role in Public Enemy's Professor Griff row. He called Griff's dismissal "the most terrible example of sellout I have witnessed in my lifetime" and called Chuck D "another bought, whipped slave." Good to see that offensive, misguided hyperbole is not limited to his movie reviews.

I finished Jeff Chang's hip-hop book last week and the quotes are even more delicious in context.

The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 24 May 2011 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

I didn't bother noting that he loved The Beaver.

He did win me over in the '90s for rightly labeling The Silence of the Lambs "feminist claptrap."

the gay bloggers are onto the faggot tweets (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 May 2011 14:39 (twelve years ago) link

god forbid hollywood claptrap is feminist

da croupier, Tuesday, 24 May 2011 15:01 (twelve years ago) link

not really to his point

the gay bloggers are onto the faggot tweets (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 May 2011 15:49 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

AW finds Trollhunter "genuinely sophisticated":

http://www.nypress.com/article-22514-bridging-the-legend.html

the gay bloggers are onto the faggot tweets (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 18:36 (twelve years ago) link

he's also found a title for his autobiography

The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 18:38 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Larry Crowne, is the humanist opposite to Hollywood’s self-congratulatory snark.
Larry Crowne’s lack of cynicism requires an audience that doesn’t hate itself.

buzza, Sunday, 3 July 2011 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

I was surprised by his negative review of Transformers 3, but reading that I just said to myself, "of course."

Gukbe, Sunday, 3 July 2011 20:58 (twelve years ago) link

gotta remember that he loved TF2, so the most challopy thing for him to say is that part 3 lost the magic of the second one.

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 3 July 2011 21:34 (twelve years ago) link

The specter of Cranston’s Bad Husband recalls Dede the pimp in Jean Renoir’s 1931 La Chienne

polyphonic, Sunday, 3 July 2011 21:57 (twelve years ago) link

Yes, and Transformers 3 has been getting some relatively ok reviews so he had to go the other way

Number None, Sunday, 3 July 2011 22:44 (twelve years ago) link

I actually like Armond White's reviews. I don't always agree with them, and they can be hastily written, but I find them frequently insightful.

bamcquern, Sunday, 3 July 2011 22:47 (twelve years ago) link

"Bay’s ongoing premise—good guy Autobots battle bad guy Decepticons—isn’t just boyhood army play writ large; it charts the distance our culture has traveled during the past decade. By avoiding contemplation about the emotional nature of its clanging, morphing, warring creatures—or even why the combat is never, ever decisive—Bay and executive producer Steven Spielberg accommodate the insensitivity that characterizes post-9/11 culture."

skinny arbuckle (latebloomer), Sunday, 3 July 2011 23:57 (twelve years ago) link

"ongoing premise"

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Monday, 4 July 2011 00:51 (twelve years ago) link

"contemplation about"

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Monday, 4 July 2011 00:52 (twelve years ago) link

ugh that review

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:27 (twelve years ago) link

Bay’s fantasy of mankind’s upheaval is certainly about dynamism, yet not much else. (Would the Futurists approve of such decadence?) Still, critics and fanboys should demand more—that he dig deeper. The smallest narrative link between Chicago’s decimation and a single character’s caring about it would make this sequence magnificent, not just spectacular. (A curious line of dialogue describing “a visual and therefore visceral betrayal” is oddly apt.) Scenes where robots destroy cities apparently uninhabited by people—a bloodless Armageddon—either excavates Chicago’s secret moral corruption (perhaps a timely private fantasy of Rod Blagojevich?) or else is just another tentpole time-killer, as stupid as Inception or Avatar.

i mean does no one even bother editing him? this paragraph is a total mess

i know its the ny press but jeez

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:29 (twelve years ago) link

i had to read it 3 times lol

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 4 July 2011 02:37 (twelve years ago) link

i mean its insulting grammatically, stylistically, intellectually

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:43 (twelve years ago) link

every single sentence needs a big red question mark next to it

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:43 (twelve years ago) link

Would the Futurists approve of such decadence?

would they indeed

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:43 (twelve years ago) link

michael bay already had to go through being called hitler by megan fox so it seems kind of mean for armond white to call him a futurist

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:44 (twelve years ago) link

Scenes where robots destroy cities apparently uninhabited by people—a bloodless Armageddon—either excavates Chicago’s secret moral corruption (perhaps a timely private fantasy of Rod Blagojevich?) or else is just another tentpole time-killer, as stupid as Inception or Avatar.

this may be the worst sentence armond white has ever written. aside from the subject-verb agreement problem, its like, armond, hi, you are the critic, you are supposed to tell me if this movie means something, or nothing

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:47 (twelve years ago) link

Bunch of fanboy bros sitting around thinkin "wish Bay's fantasy of mankind's upheaval was about more than just dynamism tbh"

polyphonic, Monday, 4 July 2011 02:49 (twelve years ago) link

oh wait, haha, he does tell me that the movie means nothing:

"In Dark of the Moon, Bay’s machines mean nothing."

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:53 (twelve years ago) link

Bunch of fanboy bros sitting around thinkin "wish Bay's fantasy of mankind's upheaval was about more than just dynamism tbh"

― polyphonic, Sunday, July 3, 2011 10:49 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lold at this btw. lets go to aicn and comment "Man, I loved Transformers 3 but I couldn't help but wonder... would the futurists approve of this decadence?"

☂ (max), Monday, 4 July 2011 02:54 (twelve years ago) link

a disapproving Umberto Boccioni watching Transformers 3

http://www.italiamia.com/art/UmbertoBoccioni.jpg

buzza, Monday, 4 July 2011 02:59 (twelve years ago) link

"what decadence"

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 4 July 2011 03:00 (twelve years ago) link

said it in the transformers thread but this guy's terrible grammar and completely incoherent self-contradictory prose is way more damning and indicative of a nonfunctional mind than anything he's ever said about norbit

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:24 (twelve years ago) link

excavates Chicago’s secret moral corruption

man this is such classic armond

dirty deathdrone boys (J0rdan S.), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:25 (twelve years ago) link

This guy's non-functioning binaries and constant K-Lo-esque begging for sympathy is way more damaging than his beret.

The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:26 (twelve years ago) link

what is "secret" about chicago's moral corruption anyway?

dirty deathdrone boys (J0rdan S.), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:27 (twelve years ago) link

no one cept Armond knows about it exists

The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:28 (twelve years ago) link

*omit about

The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 4 July 2011 03:28 (twelve years ago) link

A Decepticon army buried on the dark side of the moon that tries to destroy Earth is an allusion to Daley's attempt to (Deceptively) rig the 1960 election to destroy Earth with buried voters think about it

polyphonic, Monday, 4 July 2011 03:42 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

It's the mid-year best, with The Green Hornet and Film Socialisme!

http://www.nypress.com/article-22612-the-2011-mid-year-reckoning.html

joyless shithead (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:00 (twelve years ago) link

Plus, Joe Nussbaum’s serene Prom and Tom Hanks’ also serene Larry Crowne.

What, he couldn't think of another word?

Number None, Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:04 (twelve years ago) link

and an honorable mention for repo chick!

my Sonicare toothbrush (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

"Jodie Foster’s melodrama The Beaver"

that is one word for it, yes

apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:11 (twelve years ago) link

Joe Nussbaum’s serene Prom and Tom Hanks’ also serene Larry Crowne.

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 21 July 2011 21:19 (twelve years ago) link

Attack the Block

Not so much for the review as a whole, but for this bit:

Attack the Block's comic-ghoulish street sense (the aliens are described as looking like a "monkey fucked a fish") is exactly the kind of thing Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and cohorts don't do on the SNL knockoff sitcom 30 Rock, with its snarky celebration among privileged media-elites. Here, awareness of class dissatisfaction applies to different races and professions (including cops vs. dole-queuers), if not exactly uniting them.

I mean, where the hell does 30 Rock have come into this? And what does it have to do with anything?

Gukbe, Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:34 (twelve years ago) link

sometimes i feel like he just sits down with a few dozen clauses and then sort of attaches them together at random, a comma here, a semicolon there, parentheses around this one, an em-dash offsetting that one

max, Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:39 (twelve years ago) link

I love it when snarky media elites from one medium attack ones from another with no trace of irony whatsoever.

Mucho! Macho! Honcho!: Turn Off The Dark (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:51 (twelve years ago) link

...Or in other words, Armond's pot & kettle must not match.

Mucho! Macho! Honcho!: Turn Off The Dark (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 4 August 2011 02:53 (twelve years ago) link

loathing sitcoms shd be applauded in any context

satan club sandwich (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 August 2011 06:53 (twelve years ago) link

i'm glad to see ppl noting what a bad stylist he is: sometimes i feel like his wack opinions are mainly there to distract you from how awful and unreadable he is on a sentence by sentence level. he writes like a guy dictating on quaaludes.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 4 August 2011 07:14 (twelve years ago) link

loathing sitcoms shd be applauded in any context

― satan club sandwich (Dr Morbius), Thursday, August 4, 2011 6:53 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark

Figured you at least for a staunch supporter of the multi-cam, Mary Tyler Moore style sitcom. Either way your comment is loveably ridiculous.

Gukbe, Thursday, 4 August 2011 07:18 (twelve years ago) link

post-Shelley Long-leaving-Cheers, obv

satan club sandwich (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 August 2011 07:47 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

Is he writing reviews anywhere?

Gukbe, Friday, 23 September 2011 18:09 (twelve years ago) link

http://cityarts.info/category/film/ ?

Mordy, Friday, 23 September 2011 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

cheers!

Gukbe, Friday, 23 September 2011 18:14 (twelve years ago) link

Not only that, he's EDITOR of that fortnightly.

And he hates Moneyball even more than I do! Tho as usual, damned if I can figure out why.

http://cityarts.info/2011/09/27/nerds-strike-out/

incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 October 2011 06:26 (twelve years ago) link

I didn't get the sense that you hated Moneyball.

Anakin Ska Walker (AKA Skarth Vader) (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:36 (twelve years ago) link

weird that he wanted 50/50 to be about god or some shit

unorthodox economic revenge (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:39 (twelve years ago) link

is Armand an Xtian?

unorthodox economic revenge (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:39 (twelve years ago) link

It’s rare for actors to delineate an athlete’s physical assurance; Pitt doesn’t even try. His Billy Beane is a beer-belly characterization by a pin-up

This is so wrong that it verges on parody.

Anakin Ska Walker (AKA Skarth Vader) (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 3 October 2011 23:41 (twelve years ago) link

A "beer-belly characterization" is kind of what I got from Pitt in that movie, but I liked it.

bamcquern, Tuesday, 4 October 2011 01:38 (twelve years ago) link

A player who's been retired for a dozen years doesn't nec have an active athlete's bearing. Pitt has it cuz he's a movie star, and the movie is synthetic.

incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 4 October 2011 01:57 (twelve years ago) link

and Hollywood is normally so good at accurately portraying schlubby leads

Rory's new misogynist car (Gukbe), Tuesday, 4 October 2011 02:29 (twelve years ago) link

morbs am i right that hoffman as art howe is just some hilariously wrong miscasting? don't mind jonah hill as depodesta cuz it's just hilarious to imagine him finding out billy beane got brad pitt and he got jonah hill.

balls, Tuesday, 4 October 2011 03:21 (twelve years ago) link

Hoffman is just not believable, and the character as written has no dimension.

also Armond: Beane turning down $12.5 M actually happened, schmuck.

incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 4 October 2011 03:29 (twelve years ago) link

yknow if turner was still in control there'd be a tnt dramatization of john schuerholz' built to win by xmas.

balls, Tuesday, 4 October 2011 03:33 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

...Sandler knows how our plumbing works.

encarta it (Gukbe), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:16 (twelve years ago) link

Sandler truly is our Lubitsch.

Who wants to see the great Pavarotti sit on a pie? (jer.fairall), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:18 (twelve years ago) link

Superb stuff

Number None, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:20 (twelve years ago) link

comments on that are fantastic

pass the duchy pon the left hand side (musical duke) (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:24 (twelve years ago) link

Jaime N. Christley 8 minutes ago

You found it hilarious? You must have been internalizing your laughter, because I was sitting three feet away from you during the screening and you didn't so much as crack a smile.
Flag 1 person liked this. Like ReplyReply renegadeisback 14 minutes ago

If any movie has a religious backbone, hack Armond White is happy as a pig in shi*!.
Flag 1 person liked this. Like ReplyReply Pat Reynolds 15 minutes ago

Woah. This is amazing. Just like "Jack and Jill" seems like a parody of an Adam Sandler movie, I almost thought this was a parody of an Armond White review. That's how ridiculous this is.

"All Sandler’s best comedies (Grown Ups, Bedtime Stories, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and the great Spanglish) are really love stories"

Oh My.

pass the duchy pon the left hand side (musical duke) (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:24 (twelve years ago) link

He has kind words for *Grown Ups* but neglects *Zohan*!? V. disappointed.

s.clover, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:25 (twelve years ago) link

In Jill drag, Sandler looks like young women you see on the subway; she’s a homely archetype Fanny Brice, Judy Canova and Martha Raye made popular. (Eddie Murphy also mastered this comic affection in The Klumps and Norbit.)

i couldn't adjust the food knobs (Phil D.), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:26 (twelve years ago) link

Apatow produced Zohan i think?

Number None, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link

If the comment about him not cracking a smile during J&J is in fact true, it is incredibly telling.

Who wants to see the great Pavarotti sit on a pie? (jer.fairall), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link

I'm just finding it super funny that White's taste in sandler films is disappointingly highbrow, relatively speaking.

s.clover, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:33 (twelve years ago) link

Is this anti-semitism?

Mordy, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:34 (twelve years ago) link

Sandler, of course, always goes back to Jewishness. He may be the least ethnically abashed Jewish film comic outside the Borscht Belt which is Jack and Jill’s natural strength. Jack’s self-consciousness about Jill is rooted in Jewish comics’ proverbial self-deprecation (that’s why the twinship premise). Jill’s large features, gaucheness, petulance and unsophisticated ways are not anti-Jewish traits but the qualities that insecure, social-climbing ethnic groups usually evade.

Mordy, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:34 (twelve years ago) link

Of course, more problematic is that parenthetical. "(that's why the twinship premise)" seems to be missing a verb.

Mordy, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:34 (twelve years ago) link

also armond apparently doesn't know what the word non-plussed means

Mordy, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:40 (twelve years ago) link

A lot of people don't!

Number None, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:41 (twelve years ago) link

I think it's getting to the point where the wrong meaning for 'non-plussed' is becoming semi-acceptable

Number None, Friday, 11 November 2011 17:45 (twelve years ago) link

How do you know he's not nonplussed in that scene?

My favourite bit:

the key to classic comedy going back to the Greeks.

Science, you guys. Science. (DL), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:48 (twelve years ago) link

"You know the ones I mean."

http://leemasaur.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/hedonismbot.jpg

i couldn't adjust the food knobs (Phil D.), Friday, 11 November 2011 17:51 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

I think it is kind of cool that Spielberg makes Armond White so ecstatic.

wolves lacan, Thursday, 19 January 2012 13:51 (twelve years ago) link

"This ribbon of hurtling delight" is a nice Armondish turn of phrase

Dr Morbois de Bologne (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 January 2012 15:08 (twelve years ago) link

three months pass...

He can pan old movies too, oh yes he can!

(countdown to Morbs wholehearted agreement w/review in 10...9...8...)

Leslie Mann: Boner Machine (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 3 May 2012 19:42 (eleven years ago) link

I wish I could disappoint you, But I've seen C et J twice and it left me cold, as Rivette almost always does. Never heard the Kael quote!

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 May 2012 19:55 (eleven years ago) link

funny bcz as rerelease hosannas for it have been unleashed in NYC the last 2 days, I was gonna look for demurrals.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 May 2012 19:56 (eleven years ago) link

That's a quality Kael zinger.

Not really worth linking to his Avengers review, but I love the mind that can bear down a film for its crass consumerism (fair enough) and somehow triumph Transformers.

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Thursday, 3 May 2012 19:56 (eleven years ago) link

his Avengers review is pretty disappointing tbh

Number None, Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:02 (eleven years ago) link

I guess it depends whether you think there is something else going on in the tentpole movie, which can theoretically happen.

Celine reminds me of what AW wrote about some other alleged Gallic classic: "When people say they hate French films, this is what they're talking about."

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:02 (eleven years ago) link

every time this thread gets revived i wind up rereading the damn review at the start of it and being amazed once again by what a shitty writer AW is.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:05 (eleven years ago) link

Celine and Julie can be viewed as a proto-Mumblecore movie for its seemingly arbitrary storyline and self-infatuated preoccupation with cultural privilege. Indeed, Labourier and Berto’s bland antics resemble the mundane actions and unprepossessing actors of Mumblecore. It’s a particular let down from the sexy wit that gave the French New Wave undeniable appeal.

and this. seriously, everything -- everything -- about this paragraph is vomitous.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:10 (eleven years ago) link

his assertion that people who like or love the film are doing so as some kind of an anti-keal move is just baffling.

jed_, Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:38 (eleven years ago) link

it's like:

"can be viewed" -- typical bizarre armond formulation that reminds me of greil marcus's funny description of albert goldman ("the addled syntax of someone who dictates instead of writes")
"seemingly arbitrary storyline" -- well, is it or isn't it?
"self-infatuated" -- how?
"preoccupation with cultural privilege" -- it's based on a HENRY JAMES story!
"It’s a particular let down" -- as opposed to what?
"the sexy wit that gave the French New Wave undeniable appeal" -- OK i give the fuck up

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:44 (eleven years ago) link

citing Greil Marcus in your argument = funny

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 May 2012 20:46 (eleven years ago) link

his assertion that people who like or love the film are doing so as some kind of an anti-keal move is just baffling.

It's off point to be sure, but I would argue that 100 percent of the people who will watch C+J Music Factory will know who Kael is, tho maybe not what her opinion of Rivette is.

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 23:36 (eleven years ago) link

i'm 100% sure my ex has no idea who kael is and C&J was his favourite film.

jed_, Thursday, 3 May 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link

Is your ex George Glass?

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 23:42 (eleven years ago) link

def not.

was his favourite film.... until he met tarkovsky. and i can assure you he still has no idea who kael is.

jed_, Thursday, 3 May 2012 23:45 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

RIP Sarris, this killed him:

http://cityarts.info/2012/06/20/the-sandler-memo/

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:51 (eleven years ago) link

If you didn’t get the Memo to hate Adam Sandler, his new movie That’s My Boy would seem another likable, if minor, entry in his continuing series of unexpectedly challenging human comedies. The anti-Sandler Memo is a follow-the-leader pact–not literally a missive but an unconscious social ideology that protects Hollywood’s status quo. It perverts honest, healthy response to Sandler whose comic tendency is to affront the status quo in film after film. His spoofing of political correctness and middle-brow propriety is the real reason behind all the haterade which became ridiculous after last year‘s ingenious, heartfelt Jack and Jill provoked an endless backlash of unprecedented lunacy and vitriol.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:55 (eleven years ago) link

i love how his reviews always have a needle of truth hiding in a haystack of goading horseshit

da croupier, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link

you got the memo!

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link

Sometimes I'm astonished at how fine tuned he is as a mirror-image. That's My Boy is nowhere near as horrible as Jack & Jill, hence his enthusiasm isn't quite as overstated.

old people are made of poop (Eric H.), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link

lol okay, he does have a slight point re: Jack and Jill, which was exactly the same type of gooey sentimentalism wrapped in a ball of crassness as all of his other movies and, as a result, kind of a weird choice to be the focus of the IRE OF THE AGES, but that is a spectacular piece of overstatement

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:57 (eleven years ago) link

that's the thing! it's not just foaming-at-the-mouth lunacy, it's a considered, contrarian stance apparently worded to annoy the largest number of people possible

da croupier, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link

it's ingenious and heartfelt

a dense custard of infinity (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link

on taste and observation armond white could be a great critic but apparently he'd rather be a wrestling heel

da croupier, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link

This bit has so much crazy packed into it that I didn't even notice the horrific grammar:

Donny and Todd’s estrangement gets to the deeper issue of self esteem. (How it might be conveyed through parenting as much as heritage–also the theme of the Wayans Brothers’ underappreciated Little Man.

schwantz, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:22 (eleven years ago) link

And I forgot the closed parenthesis after the period.

schwantz, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:23 (eleven years ago) link

so eager is he to spill the haterade that grammar collapses

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:23 (eleven years ago) link

"It’s not just childish critics and mindless bloggers who deal dirt to Sandler and Murphy; the worst offenders are precisely those who fall for any blockbuster."

Who are these ppl who fall for any blockbuster? Doesn't that describe Armond?

Mordy, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:29 (eleven years ago) link

GI Joe isn't just any blockbuster

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:34 (eleven years ago) link

how about Gamer?

Mordy, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:35 (eleven years ago) link

reading these Armond White reviews makes following pop culture even less fun than it currently is.

It bums me out in a "glancing at People Magazines in the doctor's office" kinda way. And that's a unique melancholy that the APA will soon address.

Cunga, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:46 (eleven years ago) link

Pretty sure Pfizer's already got a pill in Stage 2 trials.

ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link

how about Gamer?

in fairness, there are a number of hardcore Neveldine/Taylor stans in the critical community.

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:52 (eleven years ago) link

it hits hard enough to make you think "who thought it was a good idea to pay people to share their thoughts on things?" and "we should probably stop talking about movies now"

it's just tiring and I'd like that pill

Cunga, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:53 (eleven years ago) link

NB I am going to count the responses to this latest thread bump vs the Andrew Sarris RIP thread tomorrow.

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 23:57 (eleven years ago) link

on taste and observation armond white could be a great critic

He was.

Pangborn to be Wilde (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 June 2012 01:16 (eleven years ago) link

not a Neveldine/Taylor stan by a long shot, but Gamer was too bugfuck crazy to not kinda love.

to welcome jer.fairall, pie is served. (jer.fairall), Thursday, 21 June 2012 01:45 (eleven years ago) link

oh yeah, it was a shit film, but there were a lot of great ideas bubbling up in so many scenes i figure there's about 15 different masters theses just waiting to be written

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Thursday, 21 June 2012 01:49 (eleven years ago) link

The problem with Gamer is that Gerard Butler plays the lead as a drip when everything else is fucking awesome. This could have been solved very easily with STATHAM.

da croupier, Thursday, 21 June 2012 04:16 (eleven years ago) link

My biggest problem with Gamer was how it tried to make the teenager sympathetic towards the end. If we were to keep hating hi thought the entire film, it would have felt like a stronger indictment of the whole system (if that was in fact the whole point all along, and really who knows with this film).

Sounds like I'm saying that I woulda liked the movie even better if it'd only killed a kid off at the end, but I guess I sorta am.

to welcome jer.fairall, pie is served. (jer.fairall), Thursday, 21 June 2012 05:26 (eleven years ago) link

gamer was so bad that i resolved never to watch anything those guys do again. they just dont have the talent to realize their ideas

Black_vegeta (Hungry4Ass), Thursday, 21 June 2012 07:30 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Armond's mid-year report, done up in even more convoluted fashion than usual in order to pay tribute to Andrew Sarris.

http://cityarts.info/2012/07/03/mid-year-reckoning/

Actually seems really credible for the first few entries, but once I remembered what A Thousand Words was it was like, "oh right...Armond."

to welcome jer.fairall, pie is served. (jer.fairall), Friday, 6 July 2012 20:23 (eleven years ago) link

Wanderlust (David Wain)—audacious mockery of Occupy sentimentality and its outdated hippie heritage.

there it is

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Friday, 6 July 2012 20:25 (eleven years ago) link

:D was just going to post that one

frank o'sin (Eric H.), Friday, 6 July 2012 20:25 (eleven years ago) link

Except that that movie was written and shot before Occupy really took off.

Electro-Shock Rory (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 6 July 2012 20:54 (eleven years ago) link

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor)—addresses action movie tropes to satirize the deficiencies of contemporary genre excess.

o rly

I see you, Pineapple Teef (DJP), Friday, 6 July 2012 20:58 (eleven years ago) link

such a gross sentence

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 July 2012 20:59 (eleven years ago) link

Armond apparently did not see the featurette where the director was bragging that he'd promised the stuntmen that any footage of them taken during a stunt where they were injured would be used in the movie

this isn't it but it reuses a lot of the same footage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqgI2kKUqqc

I see you, Pineapple Teef (DJP), Friday, 6 July 2012 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

yes but satire

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 July 2012 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

genre films cannot be bad they can only be satirical commentaries on bad genre films

which one is the literature professor

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 July 2012 21:24 (eleven years ago) link

Trick question, they are both TAs.

Julie Derpy (Phil D.), Friday, 6 July 2012 21:29 (eleven years ago) link

wanderlust is hilarious but it is not really at all what armond says it is

max, Friday, 6 July 2012 23:00 (eleven years ago) link

is it really funny?? i saw trailers but it looked really bad. isn't it paul rudd and jennifer aston?

Mordy, Friday, 6 July 2012 23:09 (eleven years ago) link

yeah. its great! its david wain who did wet hot american summer + role models

max, Friday, 6 July 2012 23:09 (eleven years ago) link

i generally like david wain but those trailers looked so bad. i'll check it out.

Mordy, Friday, 6 July 2012 23:10 (eleven years ago) link

this roundup sadly lacking in maniacal vigor

contenderizer, Friday, 6 July 2012 23:16 (eleven years ago) link

yeah mordy i thought the same thing, and then caught it on dvd and was pleasantly surprised (so maybe dont go in w/ expectations). basically the same thing happened to me with role models too -- shitty trailers so i passed in theaters then ended up really liking it at home

max, Friday, 6 July 2012 23:20 (eleven years ago) link

Wanderlust feels pretty inconsequential and a lot of the humour is kind of obvious but it's a great cast and it's just fun to hang out with them. Rudd's mirror scene is something else

Number None, Saturday, 7 July 2012 00:49 (eleven years ago) link

I do want to watch the Téchiné flick. Armond is generally OTM about him.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 7 July 2012 00:53 (eleven years ago) link

wanderlust is very funny, atlanta = mcmansions + asshole is otm, alan alda is really good in it.

balls, Saturday, 7 July 2012 01:34 (eleven years ago) link

Wanderlust is about 7 percent as funny as WHAS, and more than half of that 7 percent is Rudd's mirror scene. But still, worth a watch.

frank o'sin (Eric H.), Saturday, 7 July 2012 06:24 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

and i thought he'd fallen off

It’s time now to assert Paul W.S. Anderson’s status as one of contemporary cinema’s most thrilling talents. He deserves a clarifying comparison to the fraudulent, annoyingly monickered Paul Thomas Anderson whose film The Master opened the same week as Resident Evil 5.

http://cityarts.info/2012/09/17/battle-of-the-andersons/

Number None, Monday, 17 September 2012 16:00 (eleven years ago) link

this guy is a national treasure, tbh

heated debate over derpy hooves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:01 (eleven years ago) link

It’s inevitable that Paul Thomas Anderson’s artistic ambitions should be unavoidably juxtaposed to Paul W.S, Anderson’s artistic success.

this guy

stop swearing and start windmilling (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:06 (eleven years ago) link

Follow Armond White on Twitter at 3xchair

Tags: armond white, hugo, Martin Scorsese, Milla Jovovich, Paul Thomas Anderson, Paul W.S. Anderson, Richard Brooks, Sam Peckinpah, stanley kubrick, steven spielberg

a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:07 (eleven years ago) link

He's hardly the only one aboard the PWSA > PTA crazy caboose, among cinephiles I know.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:08 (eleven years ago) link

really?

Number None, Monday, 17 September 2012 16:09 (eleven years ago) link

even if that opinion is not unique to Armond, the clumsy construction of that sentence is a bit of a marvel.

stop swearing and start windmilling (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:10 (eleven years ago) link

" . . . inevitable . . . unavoidably juxtaposed . . ."

--Armond White, City Arts

(Not that I wouldn't pay a dollar to see a Resident Evil movie announced as Best Picture at the Oscars.)

a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:11 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah, PWSA has quite a bit of critical caché these days amongst a certain set.

I doubt any of them would write a review like Armond's though.

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:13 (eleven years ago) link

lol Phil

stop swearing and start windmilling (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:14 (eleven years ago) link

I mean whatever his ideas and his idiosyncrasies, he may be a worse WRITER than, like, Harry Knowles.

a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:15 (eleven years ago) link

"PWSA is a master. PTA is a masturbator." -- Armond White, City Arts

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:16 (eleven years ago) link

Unrelated (or maybe not), but I'd always known Armond's contrarianism extended to politics but I never figured that he was an out and out Republican until he was tweeting support for Romney during the RNC.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:20 (eleven years ago) link

link? I don't think supporting one of the country's 2 major political parties qualifies as "contrarian." Mindless, perhaps.

kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:22 (eleven years ago) link

Was gonna quote the Ann Romney one, but just scroll through his recent tweets:

https://mobile.twitter.com/3xchair#!/3xchair

Supporting one of the country's two major parties isn't contrarian in and of itself, but supporting the republicans is a good way to piss off the kinds of people who love Paul Thomas Anderson films, I suppose. I just figured his occasional Obama bashing was less partisan and more just trying to be provocative. It's not like he doesn't have a history of that.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:28 (eleven years ago) link

a good way to piss off the kinds of people who love Paul Thomas Anderson films

really? how about ppl who love Coen Bros films, like Mitt Romney?

kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:34 (eleven years ago) link

I dislike Paul Thomas Anderson films – guess that's why I'm non-affiliated?

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:38 (eleven years ago) link

Hell, I don't care either way. I'm not even an American, though if pressed id certainly rather see you guys with a genial quasi intellectual as president than the Mormon Mr. Burns. Was just saying that the kinds of ppl who regularly read the film reviews in NYC alt.weeklies and care about movies like The Master are gonna tend to be liberal more often than not, and that armond knows which buttons to push.

Didn't know Romney was a fan of the Coens. Ok, then.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:42 (eleven years ago) link

There's very little in his writing before he lost it to indicate that he would be a Romney supporter. So if he is, then yes, contrarianism has officially become his life support.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:44 (eleven years ago) link

Xpost, ok make that "the kinds of ppl who" blah blah blah are going to generally be of a liberal or highly politically skeptical leaning.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:44 (eleven years ago) link

Romney's favorite movie is O Brother Where Art Thou. I can totally see why he would love it/identify with it

stop swearing and start windmilling (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:46 (eleven years ago) link

Ryan (left) and Romney at the stump yesterday.

http://a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/35/ecd9c3c71fe8ecea8814ea6685fa566a/l.jpg

fun loving and xtremely tolrant (Billy Dods), Monday, 17 September 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link

It’s a secularist epic for audiences of the vampire age who don’t believe in religion anyway–there’s no possibility of rebirth or conversion, just suspicions of torture as Dodd manipulates Quell to follow orders and reveal his pain.

Instagrams of Lily on My Facebook Wall (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 17 September 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link

as bad as a writer i think armond white is, i'm always curious to see the terrible films he champions bc it's like a fun game for me to see if i can possibly enjoy the movie through his POV even for a moment. in this way he performs the vital function of helping me to enjoy adam sandler.

Mordy, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 03:34 (eleven years ago) link

He seems incapable of enjoying anything unless it's able to serve as a proxy for his disdain of other critics, filmmakers, and straw people of the viewing public.

omar little, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 04:07 (eleven years ago) link

He has the weird sort of junk populism, embracing ultra-commercial things that the ticket-buying public should but doesn't always (at least to his satisfaction) lap up.

Instagrams of Lily on My Facebook Wall (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 04:21 (eleven years ago) link

i think his schtick could be really interesting and provocative but maybe he's not quite smart enough to pull it off.

ryan, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:36 (eleven years ago) link

i dunno, he liked Film Socialisme and Transformers

xp

kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:37 (eleven years ago) link

The only Paul WS Anderson film I've seen is Mortal Kombat, so the idea that THAT GUY could make a movie better than The Master is pretty absurd to me.

Like, I'd rather watch PSH or Leaf Phoenix read from the phone book than watch another Kombat-esque thing.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:40 (eleven years ago) link

PTA sucks and I don-t understand / care for the RE5 thing but I def want his wacky film crit goggles

wolves lacan, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:46 (eleven years ago) link

have wanted to sit down and catch up with paul w.s. anderson's filmography for quite some time. i've never seen mortal kombat, but he made event horizon, which i love dearly, and the resident evil films are kind of fun. otoh, death race and AvP are horrible. armond wants to position him as this generation's john carpenter, but from what i've seen, he just isn't in that league.

based on event horizon alone, though, i prefer him to p.t. anderson.

i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:52 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah I should watch Event Horizon.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link

xp to Morbs: Well it's just one facet of his persona. He sort of has a similar treatment to Art House, waving the flag for certain strains in totality against whatever over-smart Indie fare that actually hits.

Basically it's all about stances, so it's not surprising he's a Republican.

Instagrams of Lily on My Facebook Wall (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:25 (eleven years ago) link

I don't think he's a Republican. Mostly just a South Park Republican.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:26 (eleven years ago) link

"the now overrated Hurt Locker" remains his defining moment

Number None, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link

^^^

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link

lol the confused anger he must have felt at critical acclaim raining down on a film he championed and thought everyone else would ignore.

omar little, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:39 (eleven years ago) link

Yah, he actually trusts public opinion being wrong more than he trusts his own taste. Not that I blame him.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:41 (eleven years ago) link

armond white's entire relationship with other critics is basically

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa9LNPwZIGA

omar little, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link

I don't get the cult status of Event Horizon.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:45 (eleven years ago) link

It starts well.

Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link

I just remember some friends in high school who loved it insisting I watch it with them and me being like "so...when does it get good?"

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:51 (eleven years ago) link

Were you also in high school?

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:54 (eleven years ago) link

I saw it in high school and thought it was a mess.

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:55 (eleven years ago) link

yup. (xpost)

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:55 (eleven years ago) link

It might just be me, but I rarely agree with anything I thought in high school anymore.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:57 (eleven years ago) link

Yah, he actually trusts public opinion critical consensus being wrong more than he trusts his own taste. Not that I blame him.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:57 (eleven years ago) link

that would be an interesting thread - aesthetic/artistic choices from high school you still agree with xp

Mordy, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:58 (eleven years ago) link

Critical consensus is often drivel, but, like the modern GOP, White has built his career on aggrievement: somebody's always wrong, somebody always deserves a scalping.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 23:59 (eleven years ago) link

I don't agree with a lot of what I thought in high school (American Beauty, it seems, isn't that good after all), but I didn't like PWSA's Soldier at the time and I'm not really chomping at the bit to reassess that.

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:00 (eleven years ago) link

Revisiting high school faves is always dangerous. I'm genuinely scared to take a fresh look at Chasing Amy.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:02 (eleven years ago) link

You should be.

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:05 (eleven years ago) link

Don't do it, you'll be horrified.

ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:08 (eleven years ago) link

"When I die and go to hell, it's just gonna be [Chasing Amy] on a perpetual loop"

- a friend of mine, a few years back.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:10 (eleven years ago) link

It still kind of haunts me that I was at one point in my life a person who thought that was a good movie.

ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:15 (eleven years ago) link

I owned Live's Throwing Copper. We've all been there.

Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:15 (eleven years ago) link

sl4nt (2 diff critics) also recommends PWSA over PTA

kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:16 (eleven years ago) link

I didn't, but hearing that album mentioned kinda gets at the heart of why I'm not the type to get all nostalgic over high school. (xpost)

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 00:17 (eleven years ago) link

Event Horizon is a really great idea and early on Sam Neill really carries it, but it goes off the rails pretty fast and PWSA's direction is not one of the best things about it.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 01:54 (eleven years ago) link

The idea that serious non-Armond film critics/fans are repping for this man (whatever they think about PTA) is utterly depressing to me

1994 Shopping
1995 Mortal Kombat
1997 Event Horizon
1998 Soldier
2002 Resident Evil
2004 Alien vs. Predator
2008 Death Race
2010 Resident Evil: Afterlife
2011 The Three Musketeers
2012 Resident Evil: Retribution

Number None, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 08:08 (eleven years ago) link

lol Glenn Kenny:

anyone who isn't twelve will be no more than momentarily amused by the fact that two directors with similar names and polarized generic characteristics premiered films on the same day, but White's gotta make a thesis out of it

a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:37 (eleven years ago) link

nice

da croupier, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:41 (eleven years ago) link

does he mean "genetic characteristics"? "genreic characteristics"?

kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:44 (eleven years ago) link

love this guy: "Upcoming work by Kanye West, Iris DeMent, Paul W.S. Anderson and the Taviani brothers, whose Caesar Must Die premieres at the New York Film Festival, could show work that goes beyond seasonal hype."

s.clover, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link

there's nothing wrong with finding worth in trashy films but AW never really explains what kind of cinematic merit he finds in things like 'resident evil.' he sort of starts to do that in the first paragraph here but then he just goes back to his old bean-counting routine: this movie is 'unforgettable,' this other movie is 'unbearable.' no reasons, no arguments, just a bunch of contentions. it's like arguing with a 5-year-old.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 19:59 (eleven years ago) link

A half dozen mentions of "lazy critics" thrown in whenever it wasn't clear who he's trying to flip off.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 20:02 (eleven years ago) link

wanna make clear that my love of event horizon doesn't in any way hinge on a sense of overall quality or even respect for its director. it's kind of a mess and often quite silly, but despite that, i enjoy it enormously. spooky atmosphere, good gore, quick pacing and some wonderful production design. i don't ask for much...

i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 20:05 (eleven years ago) link

there's nothing wrong with finding worth in trashy films but AW never really explains what kind of cinematic merit he finds in things like 'resident evil.' he sort of starts to do that in the first paragraph here but then he just goes back to his old bean-counting routine: this movie is 'unforgettable,' this other movie is 'unbearable.' no reasons, no arguments, just a bunch of contentions. it's like arguing with a 5-year-old.

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:59 PM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah. i would really love armond if he actually explained his interpretations. but that's par the course for contrarians: say something loud and surprising and just leave it there for the reader to get exasperated at.

also i'd like him if he actually paid attention to the majority of the movies he covers. his pans are like 70% misinformation on the most basic level.

NASCAR, surfing, raising chickens, owning land (zachlyon), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 21:09 (eleven years ago) link

When I die and go to hell, it's just gonna be [Rachel getting married] on a perpetual loop

jed_, Thursday, 20 September 2012 00:38 (eleven years ago) link

with Peggy Noonan singing "Unknown Legend."

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 20 September 2012 00:46 (eleven years ago) link

interesting! when i very briefly ran a movie critic commentary blogspot i eventually concluded that "falling asleep" must be part of his method.

zachylon (zachlyon), Friday, 28 September 2012 04:35 (eleven years ago) link

it was very funny

zachylon (zachlyon), Friday, 28 September 2012 04:39 (eleven years ago) link

adult, professional, courteous

da croupier, Friday, 28 September 2012 04:50 (eleven years ago) link

http://cityarts.info/2012/10/08/cityarts-exclusive-arts-analysis-beasts-of-the-northern-wild/

“I’m trying to make sense of the acclaim for Precious and the concurrent advent of Barack Obama.”

Weird, since I'm trying to make sense of how much self-loathing there might be in his final paragraph on The Paperboy: "A final key to the unarticulated bitterness of Daniels’ hysteria: The trio of black women singing in the dive bar where McConaughey picks up trade. Note how their angry-faced gestures betray modern drag queen hostility rather than Civil Rights era generosity and musical pleasure. That anachronistic sexual/racial rage exposes Daniels. The Paperboy ultimately is a drag-act response to the legacy of Southern bigotry Americans have forgotten and Northern ignorance they now embrace."

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

I've never seen a film by Lee Daniels, but everything I've read about him suggests that White is pretty otm with this one (although it's low-hanging fruit, and his writing is incomprehensible). As long as he talks about Daniels, that is, when he begins accusing the liberal (white) elite of loving him, I'm scratching my head. Wasn't it Oprah who produced Precious? Hasn't 30 Rock been mercilessly satirizing that film? And did Paperboy really cause a 'ruckus' at this years Cannes-festival? Everything I've read about it suggested that most critics were just shaking their heads and getting on with it...

Frederik B, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link

Shadowboxer is another Lee Daniels film I watched, and whoa was it weird.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 18:59 (eleven years ago) link

it's low-hanging fruit, and his writing is incomprehensible

Yeah, he bends over backwards to make it seem as though everyone loves The Paperboy or something, which, wtf.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 19:03 (eleven years ago) link

well even some critics who think The Paperboy is insane dreck say it's worth seeing for the facepalms (or maybe just McC's ass).

cancer, kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 19:07 (eleven years ago) link

If McC indeed showers next to a Tom of Finland, I can probably stomach a small amount of Nic pee.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 19:09 (eleven years ago) link

@TeganMH
Tegan Higginbotham

Nicole Kidman has denied using fake urine in new film, Paperboy. But critics are skeptical, saying the pee looked unnatural & expressionless

the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:09 (eleven years ago) link

That's how you know it's hers!

Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 23:14 (eleven years ago) link

ebert reviewed the paperboy as if it were wild things, so i've been interested

a hauntingly unemployed american (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 23:25 (eleven years ago) link

FACT CHECK:

The mess of Southern-depravity cliches says as much about 53-year-old Daniels’ fuzzy recall of the Civil Rights era...

A few paragraphs later:

The way Daniels integrates an anachronistic playlist of 60s-70s r&b tunes into The Paperboy’s story (set in 1969, the year of Daniels’ birth)

Also, how are '60s songs anachronistic if the film is set in 1969?

50 Shades of Greil (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link

These characters would still be listening to Spike Jones.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 03:22 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah, he bends over backwards to make it seem as though everyone loves The Paperboy or something, which, wtf.

― Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Tuesday, October 9, 2012 2:03 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Because if he didn't, he'd only have a sucky movie to trash, not the big bad critical establishment that's so overrun with hipsters and nihilists.

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 04:59 (eleven years ago) link

armond white is just following in the great bosley crowther tradition of writing reviews of movies you've slept through.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 05:06 (eleven years ago) link

also the only reasonable responses to AW are to ignore him or to make fun of him (or like glenn kenny, say you'll do the first but keep doing the second). there is absolutely no point in trying to parse any of his reviews. he has nothing of interest to say, and his writing is only symptomatic of his own complexes.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 05:07 (eleven years ago) link

"Won’t Back Down is a condescending version of what the excellent action movie Never Back Down..."

In case you think I made that up: http://cityarts.info/2012/09/28/the-miseducation-of-viola-davis/

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 October 2012 05:13 (eleven years ago) link

Between this and the Paul T/WS Anderson thing, he sure loves things that sound vaguely alike!

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 05:16 (eleven years ago) link

It's a shame the whole Paul Anderson thing kept him from realizing he could negatively compare the actors in The Master to Dana Carvey in The Master of Disguise

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 October 2012 05:16 (eleven years ago) link

"Dana Carvey's command of the traditions of mimicry-as-subversive-satire embarrass the hipster nihilism of Paul Thomas Anderson's morally and politically disengaged pretend-epic."

this is the dream of avril and chad (jer.fairall), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 05:20 (eleven years ago) link

Again, I thought that film was about the problem of teachers unions, how on earth can it be a 'liberal' film? He really is the Antonin Scalia of film critics.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 10 October 2012 12:55 (eleven years ago) link

It is anti-union propaganda, I don't know how anyone would draw the conclusion it is liberal.

controversial cabaret roommate (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 13:09 (eleven years ago) link

does Armond have Career Opportunities in mind

the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 13:10 (eleven years ago) link

Never Back Down is bare-chested Sean Faris vs. bare-chested Cam Gigandet. Talk about your "drag queen hostility" and "sexual rage."

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 October 2012 13:26 (eleven years ago) link

Not going to lie. Kinda digging malfunctioning Armond during election years.

http://cityarts.info/2012/10/12/affectless-affleck/

Affleck and Clooney are part of the elite who have never served their country and can’t fathom that kind of patriotism and so smirk at it. It’s a Joe Biden kind of movie.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:16 (eleven years ago) link

I'm not aware of Beau Biden's military bonafides but I'm pretty sure Joe didn't smirk at his son's service.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:20 (eleven years ago) link

It's all good though, because

Affleck the auteur chooses worst material than Affleck the actor.

Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:24 (eleven years ago) link

he's about two years from an actual mental breakdown

omar little, Friday, 12 October 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

That seems like a conservative projection.

controversial cabaret roommate (Nicole), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

I was gonna say, "from" or "past"?

The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:30 (eleven years ago) link

the past year has been one long "two weeks, two weeks, two weeks" total recall twitch

omar little, Friday, 12 October 2012 17:33 (eleven years ago) link

I don't know if he'll get better or worse if Romney wins.

controversial cabaret roommate (Nicole), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:35 (eleven years ago) link

Affleck and Clooney are part of the elite who have never served their country and can’t fathom that kind of patriotism and so smirk at it.

this is like a sentence written by the world's most obnoxious 4th grader.

omar little, Friday, 12 October 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

Jay Nordlinger?

the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 12 October 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://cityarts.info/2012/10/26/supergroupies/

See, 99% of this review reminds me why I still sometimes wanna read the guy. Then he has to throw in a dig at his fellow critics at the end, more Armond vs. the world posturing, and w/r/t a film that doesn't even have much of a critical rep (that I know of, anyway) at this point anyway.

Room 227 (cryptosicko), Saturday, 27 October 2012 04:33 (eleven years ago) link

seems pretty lazy to me... "this film has cross-cutting... who else cross-cut... dw griffith..."

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Saturday, 27 October 2012 04:41 (eleven years ago) link

The stories were edited by pomposity

zing?

sug ones (omar little), Saturday, 27 October 2012 04:50 (eleven years ago) link

The Wachowskis–critic Gregory Solman always called them the Watch-Out-skis

owned?

sug ones (omar little), Saturday, 27 October 2012 04:51 (eleven years ago) link

yeah seems if a critic really wanted to devastate cloud atlas and by extension a supposed film culture composed of critics unfamiliar w/ anything before the first godfather and film directors unfamiliar w/ anything before the first star wars that comparing it to intolerance might be a very easy, effective way to do it (that i haven't seen anyone do this is more due to nobody taking cloud atlas seriously enough to bother more than any unfamiliarity w/ one of the four griffith movies everyone and their mother is familiar w/), this isn't actually that though, this is making a jibe and repeating it in vaguely different wording. an easy enough task, but nothing's easy when you're as lazy as armond white.

balls, Saturday, 27 October 2012 04:57 (eleven years ago) link

also this isn't really a critical darling

Gukbe, Saturday, 27 October 2012 04:59 (eleven years ago) link

they never are

balls, Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:05 (eleven years ago) link

Which means he should love it, no?

50 Shades of Greil (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:07 (eleven years ago) link

NYT review mentioned Intolerance

crazy uncle in the attic (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:08 (eleven years ago) link

lol, plz google "cloud atlas intolerance"

crazy uncle in the attic (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:10 (eleven years ago) link

balls, why do we read your posts? is it just pity?

crazy uncle in the attic (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:11 (eleven years ago) link

obama

balls, Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:12 (eleven years ago) link

omg the watch-out-skis

difficult listening hour, Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:13 (eleven years ago) link

i still don't get why only half the sentences in any given armond review are even grammatical. isn't he a Real Critic? don't his employers care?

difficult listening hour, Saturday, 27 October 2012 05:31 (eleven years ago) link

this is ILX, every post is read

Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 27 October 2012 06:36 (eleven years ago) link

About half the review is missing. When does he actually review the film?

the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 27 October 2012 12:28 (eleven years ago) link

Six stupid–as in unintelligent, unsophisticated–plotlines are meant to converge as a vision of spiritual connection throughout the ages.

I'm glad he clarified what he meant by stupid, otherwise I might have thought he meant stupid as in stupid fresh.

da croupier, Saturday, 27 October 2012 15:27 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Life of Pi is a movie for those people—and there are many—who don’t appreciate the style of visionaries such as Bernardo Bertolucci, John Boorman, Brian DePalma, Leos Carax, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Paul W.S. Anderson, Chen Kaige, Zhang Yimou, John Moore, Olivier Megaton, Wes Anderson, Steven Spielberg and Wong Kar Wai.

Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:11 (eleven years ago) link

lol

turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:32 (eleven years ago) link

surprised his semi-pan of Lincoln was overlooked

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:36 (eleven years ago) link

He puts most of the blame on Kushner. Easily discarded.

Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link

To wit: "For a lesser filmmaker, the prevarications in Lincoln would be disastrous."

Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

thought you woulda picked out the Obama punchline

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

Easily discarded.
― Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:39 AM (2 minutes ago)

Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

why no bolding of paul ws anderson btw

turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:43 (eleven years ago) link

He's otm on Sally Field though.

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:46 (eleven years ago) link

PWSA is such a given by this point that it didn't seem worth noting.

Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 17:48 (eleven years ago) link

lmao at his editors letting him leave in a list that long

max, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 18:59 (eleven years ago) link

He IS the editor, bwahahaha

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 19:01 (eleven years ago) link

I have a certain affection for Armond because of this. He comes out with a lot of absurd reviews that bring the lolz, but I like (at least, on a conceptual basis) this notion of reshaping (or, rather, finding new perspectives on) the meaning of films. He makes intriguing arguments from time to time, when he's not being all the things this thread is saying. All those problems get in the way, of course, but it would be great if he would focus in and open up a debate about some of the films he champions that nobody else does.

― Gukbe, Friday, January 21, 2011 1:46 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark

i agree with this

turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 19:21 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

Not to rank Tarantino with Ford or Mark Twain but his diabolical Uncle Tom descends from their precursors, specifically to the way Twain refashioned American social codes into a narrative that to this day gratifies some people’s entrenched racial prejudices. That’s why Huckleberry Finn is canonized while Twain’s Puddinhead Wilson is not.

http://cityarts.info/2012/12/28/still-not-a-brother/

Gukbe, Friday, 28 December 2012 20:03 (eleven years ago) link

It's back!

A bigger budget and a more definite subject improves on the muddled “war is a drug” pathology of Bigelow’s now-overrated The Hurt Locker.

http://cityarts.info/2012/12/28/zero-for-conduct/

Gukbe, Friday, 28 December 2012 20:17 (eleven years ago) link

Doubling down!

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Friday, 28 December 2012 20:18 (eleven years ago) link

For good measure, a rave for Les Mis, which "contravene(s) the bogus sophistication and vain smugness that have overtaken the pop arts for at least the past two decades and soured millennial film culture": http://cityarts.info/2012/12/26/working-class-heroism/

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Friday, 28 December 2012 20:20 (eleven years ago) link

He's obsessed with hipsters.

Gukbe, Friday, 28 December 2012 20:21 (eleven years ago) link

posts which effortlessly summarize etc.

s.clover, Friday, 28 December 2012 20:40 (eleven years ago) link

i love that hes still calling it 'now-overrated'

turds (Hungry4Ass), Friday, 28 December 2012 20:44 (eleven years ago) link

i'd actually really want to read him on lincoln. it's so seldom he writes about movies i'm seriously interested in hearing his opinion on. i mean zero dark and django were of course going to be pans.

s.clover, Friday, 28 December 2012 20:47 (eleven years ago) link

More on this in my forthcoming book Say What?

oh man

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 28 December 2012 21:00 (eleven years ago) link

Leaving aside his opinions, his writing is getting worse on a basic syntactical level. Or maybe that's just the lack of editing. So clumsy.

something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Friday, 28 December 2012 21:02 (eleven years ago) link

Still relish this short & sweet takedown every once in awhile: http://www.slantmagazine.com/house/2010/10/on-armond-whites-discourteous-discourse/

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Friday, 28 December 2012 21:20 (eleven years ago) link

I forgot this great article: http://nypress.com/our-soul-man/

s.clover, Saturday, 5 January 2013 20:41 (eleven years ago) link

hahaha holy shit at that lede

captain keefheart (some dude), Saturday, 5 January 2013 21:21 (eleven years ago) link

why? that's fucking Bam in a nutshell.

A shame his gorgeous Titanic takedown doesn't appear to be online.

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 6 January 2013 08:43 (eleven years ago) link

(Her gotcha climax quotes Silence of the Lambs.)

I got there first!

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 6 January 2013 08:48 (eleven years ago) link

When we look over the history of this board I imagine some small part will be Morbs turning into Armond.

Gukbe, Sunday, 6 January 2013 08:55 (eleven years ago) link

wait til you read my 2Pac bio

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 6 January 2013 09:00 (eleven years ago) link

Armond is at least consistent in his hatred of Michael Moore: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/moore_raises_holy_hell_JHzuJm2N6pPC2i8xOcP18K

Solange and thanks for all the fish (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:43 (eleven years ago) link

He was there to present the film and not present a personal political diatribe.”

um...

I had such a fontasy (stevie), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:45 (eleven years ago) link

haha. otm.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:47 (eleven years ago) link

armond needs to get into wrestler management

da croupier, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:47 (eleven years ago) link

[White] is a reactionary conservative [bleep]hole.

OTM.

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:48 (eleven years ago) link

xpost OTM!!

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:48 (eleven years ago) link

with the wwe making so many straight-to-dvd movies he could be this critic baiting their work ringside

da croupier, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:50 (eleven years ago) link

"cena is a now-overrated piece of trash!"

da croupier, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:53 (eleven years ago) link

AW's politics are too incoherent to be labeled conservative.

Moore is a hypocritical Bam-votin' liberal asshole, tho.

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:58 (eleven years ago) link

Meanwhile: http://cityarts.info/2013/01/09/better-than-list-2012/

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:02 (eleven years ago) link

In the "nobody does it better" category this year:

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Taken 2 > Zero Dark Thirty
Les Miserables > Once Upon a Time in Anatolia
Dark Horse > The Turin Horse
A Thousand Words > Argo

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:03 (eleven years ago) link

He's so vile.

Gukbe, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:06 (eleven years ago) link

Tom Hopper and cast preserved the power of pop opera, while Nuri Bilge Ceylan cynically, tediously observed man’s inhumanity to audiences.

Just lazy.

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:09 (eleven years ago) link

conservative politics are too incoherent to be labeled 'conservative'! anyway aw's animating principle is resentment, so hes certainly coming from the same place as most us convervatives

max, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:10 (eleven years ago) link

But White and a friend(!) shouted

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:11 (eleven years ago) link

The Deep Blue Sea > The Loneliest Planet

Terence Davies’ gay sensitivity to sex roles (and memorable performances by Tom Hiddleston and Simon Russell Beale) bested Julia Loktev’s juvenile view of female infidelity and male weakness.

^^ most otm thing he's written this year

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:13 (eleven years ago) link

That's not difficult.

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:15 (eleven years ago) link

'conservative politics' erupt over a documentary in large part about a bond trader who never gave a shit about activism until he got AIDS

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:16 (eleven years ago) link

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Taken 2 > Zero Dark Thirty

tbf i couldn't finish zdt and barely finished spirit of vengeance

da croupier, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:17 (eleven years ago) link

anyway good job having a MM-AW hateoff at the dinner, QT-Spike would've had everyone nodding off in their soup.

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:18 (eleven years ago) link

Actually, this:

Movies weren’t just entertainment but were used to justify escapist(possibly even anti-social) points of view.

is (inadvertently) the most OTM thing he's written this year.

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:20 (eleven years ago) link

it amazes me that he only allows himself to outright do ">" binaries once a year

ThePartyHater (some dude), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:20 (eleven years ago) link

lmao at that one

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:21 (eleven years ago) link

xp

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:21 (eleven years ago) link

every review he writes has one of those imo

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:21 (eleven years ago) link

wtf kind of fevered brian created a Les Miz-Anatolia binary?

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:22 (eleven years ago) link

*brain too

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:22 (eleven years ago) link

every review he writes has one of those imo

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, January 9, 2013 11:21 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's what i mean, it's all he ever does but the rest of the year the > sign is only implied

ThePartyHater (some dude), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:24 (eleven years ago) link

if u told me there's an operatic autopsy in Les Miz i'd believe it

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 16:25 (eleven years ago) link

lol @ declaring two movies specifically better than ZDT, lol @ hating on Amour for "celebrating the end of life" because apparently that is pessimistic and apparently pessimism is automatic grounds for dismissal

#guy #guy fieri #poop #hallway (zachlyon), Thursday, 10 January 2013 06:59 (eleven years ago) link

i think he means celebrating in the sense of enjoying the hell out of making the audience suffer

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 10 January 2013 12:19 (eleven years ago) link

like armond doesn't do that too?

some dude, Thursday, 10 January 2013 12:58 (eleven years ago) link

found a Morrissey review in Spin from the early nineties in which White's misanthropy and Moz's un-charm were a volatile combination.

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 10 January 2013 12:59 (eleven years ago) link

Patty Smyth > Morrissey

da croupier, Thursday, 10 January 2013 13:19 (eleven years ago) link

somedude, armond doesn't make films (yet)

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 10 January 2013 14:46 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://cityarts.info/2013/02/01/number-one-with-a-bullet/

[Bullet to the Head] really does feel like the best American movie for past couple of years

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:15 (eleven years ago) link

Also, LOL.

http://elusivelucidity.blogspot.com/2013/02/is-bulleit-so-rare.html

I am also curious if anyone can establish for us that Gregory Solman is not, in fact, a long-standing pen name & alter ego for Armond White. Perhaps the two are critic-friends who've developed similar tastes over time - that's certainly a possibility. But given that they share a personal canon of great cinema, as well as similar styles of argumentation & critical reference, and they write for a lot of the same venues, and that White is known & seen around public screenings but Solman is seemingly even less photographed than Manohla Dargis, and is referred to almost exclusively by White (and rarely by other critics) ... well, you can see how suspicions arise in an idle mind. Maybe a bit like the possibility of Ray Carney writing some of his own fan mail - there are too many flattering imitations, too many phrases like the ones we see Solman put forth in this interview: "You convinced me!" or "As I know you know..."

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:20 (eleven years ago) link

AW: This movie has the best dialogue in years.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:22 (eleven years ago) link

AW: I enjoyed Bullet for its visual richness and moral detail. We’ve forgotten that movies could accomplish this.

GS: I’m glad that Walter hasn’t.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:26 (eleven years ago) link

reminds me of that exchange in an Ashbery poem:

I said it but I can hide it. But I choose not to.
Thank you. You are a very pleasant person.
Thank you. You are too.

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:32 (eleven years ago) link

Armond is introducing Lady Sings the Blues at BAM next Monday night.

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:40 (eleven years ago) link

gregory solman recently curated a clint eastwood festival here in l.a.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/120831-eastwood-hmed-8a.photoblog600.jpg

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:44 (eleven years ago) link

Imagine how precise and authentic Hill would have made Killing Them Softly or There Will Be Blood.–films that are inconceivable without Last Man Standing or The Long Riders.

???

Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 04:06 (eleven years ago) link

Hill is the father of modern adepts Neveldine-Taylor and John Moore and Paul W.S. Anderson. They all know how to make movies be kinetic and moral. The torture of Christian Slater scene feels Godardian, as if it were an instantaneous critique of very confused Zero Dark Thirty as well as the puerile Reservoir Dogs.

da croupier, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:51 (eleven years ago) link

the solman/white piece (and there's plenty online to suggest solman isn't an alias) http://cityarts.info/2013/02/01/number-one-with-a-bullet/

In formal terms Nolan, Tarantino, Soderbergh, Dominik, even Kathryn Bigelow are pikers compared to Walter Hill. Put the Scott Brothers (the late Tony, the aesthetically dead Ridley in this category, too).

That shit is cold blooded even with the typo

da croupier, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:54 (eleven years ago) link

the man has deep deep issues

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 06:09 (eleven years ago) link

Let's keep a running tally of how many movies he compares unfavorably to Bullet in the Head this year. I say we'll hit 30 by Labor Day.

http://cityarts.info/2013/02/06/at-cinemas-crossroads/

Zero Dark 33⅓: The Final Insult (Eric H.), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 17:52 (eleven years ago) link

Few things hurt more than seeing Armond White championing a director I also like.

誤訳侮辱, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:15 (eleven years ago) link

i could swear he used to be relatively lucid and refreshing--maybe 10-12 years ago--but im afraid to go back and check.

ryan, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:17 (eleven years ago) link

no one tell Armond that Walter Hill is actually quite highly rated

Number None, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 19:16 (eleven years ago) link

Gus V'an Sant's Pooperganda. Read now. cityarts.info/2013/02/06/fri…
6:58pm - 6 Feb 13

Gukbe, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 19:19 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

Read some of his new reviews for the first time in a while today. When did he fall out of love with Spielberg?

Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Saturday, 13 April 2013 02:40 (eleven years ago) link

when other people fell back in love with him probably

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 02:41 (eleven years ago) link

his tempered reaction to Lincoln can likely be laid at Kushner's feet.

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 02:53 (eleven years ago) link

And Obama's (worshipers).

cacao nibs (Eric H.), Saturday, 13 April 2013 02:58 (eleven years ago) link

i kind of like the idea of armond white -- this grumpy contrarian, perpetually convinced of his righteousness whose aesthetic sensibility just couldn't be more out of touch with mainstream critics -- but he is just such a godawful writer that i can't bring myself to enjoy his reviews.

a gauche solicitation (Pat Finn), Saturday, 13 April 2013 04:42 (eleven years ago) link

with the rise of "vulgar auterism" he's going to have to look harder to be contrarian.

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 04:46 (eleven years ago) link

i'm sorry, but i don't know precisely what you mean by "vulgar auteurism". that phrase just makes me think of spring breakers, which is amazing. but i guess you are talking about a new trend in film criticism that is more focused on the pov of the director/advocates for more distinctive directorial visions in cinema? if so, which critics do you think emblematize this trend? this seems interesting, as i've always been sort of a partisan auteur cinema.

Pat Finn, Saturday, 13 April 2013 04:51 (eleven years ago) link

It really means the kind of so-called trash action directors that are getting a lot of critical love in some circles such as Paul W.S. Anderson, John Hyams, Neveldine/Taylor, Tony Scott, Michael Bay (perhaps to a lesser extent in some areas but still). Armond has been touting these guys for years but it's got traction now with blogging folk like Ignatiy Vishnivetsky et al.

Some people include Michael Mann, but that's just wrong imo.

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 04:57 (eleven years ago) link

interesting. thanks for the definition. i've always felt that agressively populist film criticism -- championing michael bay or whatever -- is really uninteresting, and even reactionary, unlike populist music criticism -- like chuck eddy -- which feels democratizing to me, perhaps because pop music has never had as much of a stranglehold over the music scene as hollywood studios have had over American cinema. maybe that could be its own thread topic.

Pat Finn, Saturday, 13 April 2013 05:02 (eleven years ago) link

sorry, that was a bit tangental. i think armond white will always feel somewhat contrarian, mostly because his tone is just out of control. who else could hate toy story 3 *that* much, like seriously?

Pat Finn, Saturday, 13 April 2013 05:03 (eleven years ago) link

I wouldn't put it as "aggressively populist"

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 05:19 (eleven years ago) link

oh great, the fucking P-word didn't get enough of a workout during last week's eulogies.

I wouldn't listen to that piss Chuck Eddy likes if you paid me.

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 07:45 (eleven years ago) link

i'm really curious to know if there's a single person in the world who gives a shit abt morbs' opinion on music

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Saturday, 13 April 2013 09:30 (eleven years ago) link

liek there just isn't an alotted space in my brain for that

the music vs movie rockist thing is something i've considered before, i don't really know what to think of it

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Saturday, 13 April 2013 09:33 (eleven years ago) link

i suppose snobbery in film and anti-rockism in music are both attacking the middlebrow from different sides of the middlebrow

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Saturday, 13 April 2013 09:42 (eleven years ago) link

but the line between highbrow and middlebrow is much more vague in music than it is in film and the line between lowbrow and middlebrow is much more vague in film than it is in music

brow brow brow it's almost 6am time to stop

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Saturday, 13 April 2013 09:45 (eleven years ago) link

i just reread the fahrenheit review in the op and man it's a marvel of measured critical observation compared to recent armond. i don't remember my single 2004 viewing of the movie well enough to know if this excerpt is fair and there's a very questionable "as well as" in the first graf pointing the way forward to the current swisscheese condition of armond's prose but i thought this was a worthwhile point:

Moore very deliberately mixes tv drama and movie clips into his rhetorical hodge-podge (referencing Bonanza, Dragnet and song clips by REM). These tropes probably made Tarantino delirious. Fahrenheit seizes upon the mess of postmodern capitalist pop only to misread how pop trivia malnourishes the moral lives of audiences—those who are then sent off to war, as well as Beltway politicians and Wall Street bankers who have the privilege to dismiss pop as escapism.

That's what Godard meant about distinguishing text and image. In Moore's doc style, images have only superficial, convenient meaning and no historical resonance—unlike Peter Davis' 1974 Vietnam doc Hearts and Minds, which used Hollywood clips (Bataan) to show the ideological indoctrination of pop culture. Davis suggested that a generation was fooled into romanticizing war and xenophobia. That was part of how Vietnam protestors understood their experience. Moore, being culturally ignorant, stands on shaky ground when he ridicules GIs who listen to pop on bombing missions, never respecting their cultural conditioning or examining their sense of patriotism.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Saturday, 13 April 2013 09:48 (eleven years ago) link

shove it, zachylon, i don't anyone to give a shit about what i think except me

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 12:39 (eleven years ago) link

don't want anyone

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 12:40 (eleven years ago) link

Really? Always took you for a populist.

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 13:41 (eleven years ago) link

lol. i feel ebert's populism is different because from what i (baselessly) imagined the vulgar auteurists might be like, because he didn't have a grudge against art cinema, although he did have one against academia and film theory. so ebert's embrace of hollywood didn't come at the expense of the european scene, or something; to him it was all good and he didn't really make a distinction between auteur films and those produced more impersonally, by studios. in any case, i don't think anyone ever put stock in ebert's opinions. he was famous and beloved because he was an entertaining, likable writer; people didn't read him for searching analysis.

also morbs: i've always enjoyed posts on ilx when i was a lurker and i've surmised that he actually writes film criticism. can you tell me what your byline/actual name is so i can track down your reviews? if you need to remain anonymoys, that's cool.

"bath salts" should have been my username (Pat Finn), Saturday, 13 April 2013 14:26 (eleven years ago) link

u could start w/ the one that prompted an addled director to call me a "hedge funder"

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/detachment/6098

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 14:38 (eleven years ago) link

thanks.

"bath salts" should have been my username (Pat Finn), Saturday, 13 April 2013 14:41 (eleven years ago) link

I don't think Roger had a grudge against academia or film theory (Bordwell was a big fan, though obv there's tension between him and academia), he just wasn't trained in it. His job was to review films for a mass audience, something his peers in alt-weeklys or Armond here aren't all that bothered with. Not all critics have the same goals, after all.

Armond likes to find larger political implications in what everyone else would call trash a la the melting of the Eiffel Tower as some sort of post-9/11 metaphor in G.I. Joe, and also the complexities of race in Norbit, but he too often descends into absurd bouts of contrarianism (his year end list of "this is better than..." is pretty abhorrent and damaging, I think, to critical evaluation). Vulgar Auterism isn't necessarily interested in contrarianism, but rather finding new forms of artistic expression in "populist" digital forms. I think they too often ignore fundamental filmmaking aspects like, say, a script (the lastest Resident Evil had some amazing and interesting visuals and compositions, but the writing was still shit...otoh Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is fantastic despite some ropey acting).

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 14:44 (eleven years ago) link

hm, who is an example of a vulgar auteur critic? i feel like maybe i am one, sometimes, because i loved TRON legacy in part *because* the plot felt so light and weightless, allowing the amazing sounds and visuals to come to the fore. it would have been a worse movie, i think, and less like a videogame, if it was more complex. in terms of ebert's anti-academia bias i am mostly thinking of this article. about 1/3 of the way into it, the author of the piece claims to have interviewed ebert, and quotes him as saying that film theory is a "cruel hoax for students, essentially the equivalent of a New Age cult." i know he is bros with bordwell but bordwell is a film historian, and his writing is, from what i understand, pretty different from semiotic, lacanian, etc. approaches to film analysis.

"bath salts" should have been my username (Pat Finn), Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:07 (eleven years ago) link

i should qualify my defense of TRON by saying that, in general, i find the hollywood studio system depressing, but i still try to evaluate its products on their own terms and not according to a set of criteria designed to apply to different types of films.

"bath salts" should have been my username (Pat Finn), Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:09 (eleven years ago) link

Well I would hope anyone would approach it that way.

As far as those that subscribe to vulgar auterist, aside from Vishnevetsky, I'd say Jamie Christley and *maybe* Calum Marsh over at Slant, a number of people at Spectrum Culture, and other people dotted around. Young'un Peter Labuza gave a lecture on it at Columbia last week.

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:15 (eleven years ago) link

interesting, thanks.

"bath salts" should have been my username (Pat Finn), Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:18 (eleven years ago) link

Wasn't vulgar auteurism a part of auteurism right from the start? Edgar G. Ulmer and Robert Aldrich and Sam Fuller rather than William Wyler and Fred Zinnemann?

clemenza, Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:20 (eleven years ago) link

Yes, to an extent, and that's part of my skepticism. I sometimes feel new generations want to find something to champion that isn't in line with the prevailing taste (so maybe it is a smidge of contrarianism, though I don't think it's as forthright as Armond's).

Gukbe, Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:22 (eleven years ago) link

I like Jaime and Calum's writing a lot (and I think Jaime is higher on Jerry Lewis -- the linchpin of vulgar auteurism? -- than I am).

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 15:58 (eleven years ago) link

shove it, zachylon, i don't anyone to give a shit about what i think except me

― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, April 13, 2013 8:39 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i didn't even mean it *like that* but ok

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Saturday, 13 April 2013 18:01 (eleven years ago) link

meh alright

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2013 18:18 (eleven years ago) link

I mean, I wouldn't go to Morbs' DJ night and he wouldn't go to mine and I think we're both fine with that.

cacao nibs (Eric H.), Saturday, 13 April 2013 19:56 (eleven years ago) link

i wish i had a DJ night.

Pat Finn, Saturday, 13 April 2013 20:05 (eleven years ago) link

AW's take on F911 actually seems mostly OTM, hard to remember a time when ppl actually took moore seriously, but citing 'kevin costner in jfk' as an appeal to authority is an all-time lol.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Saturday, 13 April 2013 20:06 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

For the past seven months I’ve personally been fielding questions about why I didn’t like the movie Lincoln. Going through the unpleasant effort of explaining the film’s basic inaccuracy and unfairness to people who were prepared to love and defend it simply because it was customized to their political sentiments, made my explanation all the more frustrating. (When die-hard Spielberg scoffers praised Lincoln, I knew their commendations had nothing to do with esthetics or history, only with the film’s slanted politics and strenuously forced contemporary parallel to Obama’s lame-duck presidency.)

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 02:48 (ten years ago) link

he sounds like a Soviet press agent from 1981.

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 02:48 (ten years ago) link

The least coherent Soviet press agent from 1981.

Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 02:49 (ten years ago) link

meh, that's 50/50 btwn otm and crazy.

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 03:19 (ten years ago) link

As you are 50/50 between otm and crazy, that means Armond's piece is 25/75, respectively.

cacao nibs (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 03:38 (ten years ago) link

It’s as bad as a Saturday Night Live skit. Or a Jon Stewart’s Early Show skit. Or a Real Time with Bill Maher skit. (Or a Morning Joe, Rachel Maddow skit, I mean, “newscast.”) That’s how low the producer of the terrific early Zemeckis-Gale comedies has sunk.

I'm a huge fan of Used Cars but man

da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 03:58 (ten years ago) link

That whole practice of acting like your personal canon is everybody's...Armond's still got it

da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 03:59 (ten years ago) link

also the "early" in front of "Zemeckis-Gale," presumably to distinguish between I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Back To The Future...I tip my hat.

da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 04:00 (ten years ago) link

There’s obscenity in joking about the media’s protection of Obama’s image and its implicit lack of decorum which began (negatively) with the media’s assault on George W, Bush’s presidency. But Nevermind. (That might have been a more clever title for the short–what, was Tony Kushner, having justly lost the Oscar, too busy reading Entertainment Weekly?).

you really have to work hard for me not to "right on" any slam of whcd horseshit. and there's no denying armond works hard.

da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 04:07 (ten years ago) link

it's maddening yet somehow unsurprising that AW fails to elaborate on the supposed 'basic inaccuracy and unfairness' of spielberg's film, but then again you'd think that a guy who thinks that jon stewart hosts the 'early show' wouldn't throw stones about stuff like that.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 04:36 (ten years ago) link

This guy could turn the Smurfs 2 into a WAKE UP LIBERAL SHEEPLE thinkpiece.

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 05:15 (ten years ago) link

i so wouldn't be surprised if that review actually existed

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 05:17 (ten years ago) link

love that Armond gets an Ebert dig in there.

Gukbe, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:20 (ten years ago) link

I think I genuinely might find Armond tiresome now, and I am not really a fan of Obama or the WHCD (although I still think Colbert's turn was brilliant).

Gukbe, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:21 (ten years ago) link

colbert's turn was brilliant because armond's otm about the whcd, tho. (doing it to obama would of course be nice but i don't ask anything of colbert anymore; i feel like he has already overachieved.)

that ebert line is NEXTLEVEL: just coherent enough to imply that roger ebert whitewashed america's critical discourse. also laughed out loud at this:

Spielberg boasts about Day Lewis’ method of ”becom[ing] his character: Hawkeye from Last Of The Mohicans, Bill the Butcher in The Gangs of New York and Abraham Lincoln from Lincoln. And you know what, he nailed it.” Nailing it is the correct, crucifying term for the Washington Correspondents Dinner’s deprecation of American history.

:O

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:58 (ten years ago) link

"deprecation"

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:59 (ten years ago) link

WHCD is horeshit, no doubt, but this whole piece is just silly axe-grinding that ropes in a number of disparate elements that he hates. Ebert comment has some merit, sure, but it's also being very selective, the same as the Maddow comment.

Gukbe, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:00 (ten years ago) link

i can barely even parse this dude's sentences any more.

he should just move into a literal echo chamber, he'd probably get off on it.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:01 (ten years ago) link

maybe robert fripp can build him something.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:02 (ten years ago) link

tbf he's leveled that criticism @ ebert forever

xp

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:02 (ten years ago) link

oh no it is absurdly selective! i am an ebert fan. armond, yknow. has a shtick.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:04 (ten years ago) link

Oh I know he has, but that's the problem. He throws in his pet peeves wherever he can, all the time. It betrays his move from criticism into vendetta.

Gukbe, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:04 (ten years ago) link

ok sorry sorry but the brackets here.

It is not funny when Obama-as-Day-Lewis confuses things, saying “The hardest part? Trying to understand his [my] motivations. Why did he [I] pursue ‘heatlh care’ first? What makes him [me] tick? Why doesn’t he [I] get mad? If I was him I’d be mad all the time. But I’m not him, I’m Daniel Day Lewis.”

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:07 (ten years ago) link

and yeah he lost all sense of perspective and grammar long ago.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:08 (ten years ago) link

I love all these fictional Spielberg haters who suddenly came rushing out to praise Lincoln after trashing the dude for so many years.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:12 (ten years ago) link

why does anyone bother reading armond white, is the question? you have no one to blame but yourselves.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:18 (ten years ago) link

you [i] have no one to blame but yourselves [obama]

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:21 (ten years ago) link

:)

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 07:21 (ten years ago) link

I'm just amazed that he waited a whole month to get in his first post-death Ebert dig. Unless I missed one, of course.

Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 11:53 (ten years ago) link

That whole practice of acting like your personal canon is everybody's

It's a critic's job not to care about everybody's canon, homie.

tbf he's leveled that criticism @ ebert forever

yeah, he should stop, you ppl have won.

Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:05 (ten years ago) link

you ppl have won

Yes. The ppl have also won on The Shawshank Redemption, too. Life is choosing new battles, et al.

cacao nibs (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:09 (ten years ago) link

But, wait! It gets worse!

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:10 (ten years ago) link

love that comma

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:11 (ten years ago) link

his piece on Portrait of Jason was his best in awhile.

ballin' from Maine to Mexico (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:13 (ten years ago) link

Reviews in which he knows the spotlight isn't going to be on are typically better.

cacao nibs (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:14 (ten years ago) link

I'm just amazed that he waited a whole month to get in his first post-death Ebert dig. Unless I missed one, of course.

― Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Tuesday, May 7, 2013 6:53 AM (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the man has untold reserves of restraint.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:44 (ten years ago) link

It's a critic's job not to care about everybody's canon, homie.

no shit, boyee, but when critics act like it's a matter of record that a relatively obscure note in someone's career was their peak, it can suggest their head is up their ass. and dare i suggest it re: armond.

da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 15:16 (ten years ago) link

dude, trolling is what armond _does_

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 15:53 (ten years ago) link

which is why I used phrases like "he's still got it" and "i tip my hat" in regards to it

da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 15:58 (ten years ago) link

when critics act like it's a matter of record that a relatively obscure note in someone's career was their peak

Uh no boyee, he was likely saying the early Zemeckis-Gale comedies were better than the shit Bob Z has been churning out for the last quarter-century.

Armond aside, the smuggled truth of the WHCD skit is that Bam is a mere actor feeding his supporters' fantasies. Good for POTUS for farting in their faces. Rodham 2016.

ballin' from Maine to Mexico (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 9 May 2013 01:04 (ten years ago) link

I hear she produces the most delicate-toned air biscuits. Just lovely.

Not Simone Choule (Eric H.), Thursday, 9 May 2013 03:44 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

he lives in a time of his own

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Monday, 10 June 2013 20:46 (ten years ago) link

how the hell did he tweet twice praising echobelly without comparing them to an overrated sacred cow

da croupier, Monday, 10 June 2013 22:18 (ten years ago) link

that might be his dumbest "opinion" yet

data halls and oate (stevie), Monday, 10 June 2013 22:22 (ten years ago) link

Would love to see his britpop "better than" list

christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 10 June 2013 22:41 (ten years ago) link

That whole practice of acting like your personal canon is everybody's...Armond's still got it

― da croupier, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 03:59 (1 month ago) Permalink

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/

MV, Monday, 10 June 2013 22:52 (ten years ago) link

Liking Echobelly his dumbest opinion yet???

Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Monday, 10 June 2013 23:28 (ten years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/v/tU1I9I0xM2s

christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 10 June 2013 23:49 (ten years ago) link

five months pass...

Tweeted by Armond, natch:

http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20131204-how-to-buy-a-win-at-the-oscars

That night (Steve McQueen) also had by all accounts a difficult encounter with veteran New York film critic Armond White who can be a bit of a contrarian. According to White the director was rude and, in his view, was trying to pick an argument with him because of his negative review of 12 Years a Slave.

“A more experienced filmmaker understands what the event was about – and it is not about arguing with a journalist,” White told me later.

But listening to White you get the impression that he is incorruptible and takes a very focused and principled approach to voting. Any personal interactions with filmmakers or stars which result from wining and dining aren’t a factor in his decision making. “I’m always voting as a critic,” he says. “It’s up to individual critics to maintain integrity.”

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Thursday, 5 December 2013 17:50 (ten years ago) link

crosslisted with Chris Ott thread

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 5 December 2013 17:59 (ten years ago) link

That's one cluster I'm steering waaaaay clear of.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Thursday, 5 December 2013 18:09 (ten years ago) link

not sure I knew he hates Billy Wilder

But Payne’s strange process of mockery-—presenting personality quirks as character flaws (there’s a difference)-—is reprehensibly cynical. It recalls Billy Wilder’s method of turning everyone except his heroes into rubes, rogues or suckers. As Wilder proved, this can lead to a successful career by confusing audience’s own nervousness and insecurity and letting them turn on their peers.

http://cityarts.info/2013/12/11/bleak-cheek/

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 December 2013 20:34 (ten years ago) link

whos chris ott

Hungry4Ass, Thursday, 12 December 2013 20:55 (ten years ago) link

apparently some shithead music "writer"

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 December 2013 21:00 (ten years ago) link

"fake and hateful"

*applause*

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Thursday, 12 December 2013 21:29 (ten years ago) link

where's the "better than" list?

Number None, Friday, 13 December 2013 03:27 (ten years ago) link

The one time a year I'll read him anymore, as it provides consistent LOLs alongside the very occasional legitimately provocative juxtaposition.

a fifth of misty beethoven (cryptosicko), Friday, 13 December 2013 04:23 (ten years ago) link

next issue i'm sure

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 13 December 2013 12:22 (ten years ago) link

Nebraska no more hateful than Fargo btw

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 13 December 2013 12:23 (ten years ago) link

You're mellowing in your dotage.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Friday, 13 December 2013 13:33 (ten years ago) link

bcz I'm increasingly forgiving of showing most Americans as greedy nitwits?

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 13 December 2013 14:44 (ten years ago) link

Payne should adapt James Michener novels.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 13 December 2013 14:46 (ten years ago) link

South Pacific w/ Luther Billis as the hero

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 13 December 2013 14:49 (ten years ago) link

So Twitter's aflame today for Armond calling Llewyn Davis a Jew pretending to be Welsh.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Friday, 13 December 2013 14:56 (ten years ago) link

he's half Italian, right? That's why they cast a Marisa Tomei lookalike as his sister.

AW is famous for getting details wrong.

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 13 December 2013 14:59 (ten years ago) link

He's famous for getting EVERYTHING wrong.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Friday, 13 December 2013 15:43 (ten years ago) link

excited that screening of Nebraska tomorrow is at 9:45 a.m.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 13 December 2013 15:43 (ten years ago) link

have an eye-opener

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 13 December 2013 15:48 (ten years ago) link

In the midst of his raving rave for American Hustle, he makes it too easy:

When Irving describes Sydney’s awesomeness, he says “Like me she had to reinvent herself” but “reinvent” is a 90s word, Stephen Holden coined it in a New York Times article describing and institutionalizing a Madonna tour.

http://cityarts.info/2013/12/18/david-o-russells-stock-company/

from Merriam-Webster:

First Known Use of REINVENT

1686

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 December 2013 20:49 (ten years ago) link

Do his editors not even bother because "aw, fuck it, its Armond?"

a fifth of misty beethoven (cryptosicko), Thursday, 19 December 2013 20:51 (ten years ago) link

he IS the editor!

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 December 2013 20:52 (ten years ago) link

Explains a lot.

a fifth of misty beethoven (cryptosicko), Thursday, 19 December 2013 20:53 (ten years ago) link

So he looks it up himself and says, "Fuck it! I'm Armond!"

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 19 December 2013 21:00 (ten years ago) link

The title of his upcoming autobiography right there.

a fifth of misty beethoven (cryptosicko), Thursday, 19 December 2013 21:08 (ten years ago) link

Great bump but I'm disappointed it's not his better than list

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Friday, 20 December 2013 02:37 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://variety.com/2014/film/news/12-years-a-slave-director-steve-mcqueen-heckled-at-new-york-critics-circle-awards-1201032911/

The 79th annual New York Film Critics Circle Awards turned awkward on Monday night when CityArts editor Armond White started to heckle director Steve McQueen.

McQueen had just accepted his prize for “12 Years a Slave,” presented by Harry Belafonte, when the interruption broke out.

As soon as McQueen took the stage, White started shouting from his table at the back of the room. “You’re an embarrassing doorman and garbage man,” White boomed. “F—you. Kiss my ass.”

caek, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 07:02 (ten years ago) link

lol what does that insult even mean

Hungry4Ass, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 07:44 (ten years ago) link

White is a vile embarrassment.

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 07:45 (ten years ago) link

wrong

adam, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 14:59 (ten years ago) link

elaborate

Emilia Fabbo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 15:02 (ten years ago) link

hes cool as hell

Hungry4Ass, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 15:48 (ten years ago) link

awards dinners at their best are vile embarrassments

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 15:54 (ten years ago) link

lol

An embarrassing doorman and garbageman (dog latin), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 15:58 (ten years ago) link

Especially when they serve paella.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 15:58 (ten years ago) link

kinda love heckling 'you're an embarrassing doorman!'

balls, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 15:58 (ten years ago) link

Especially when your table is practically next to the doorman.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:06 (ten years ago) link

MAYBE HE WAS YELLING AT THE DOORMAN!

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:07 (ten years ago) link

You waste, you little doorman!

An embarrassing doorman and garbage man (dog latin), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:07 (ten years ago) link

It's cool to yell at people in public and say whatever is on your mind, even if what is on your mind is insulting.

you are kind, I am (waterface), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:10 (ten years ago) link

doesn't he do this every year?

Number None, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:11 (ten years ago) link

I kind of hope every year White calls someone an embarrassing doorman

SHAUN (DJP), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:12 (ten years ago) link

iirc he was the roastmaster of the NYFCC when he was chairman, and now he's like the apollo sandman

Hungry4Ass, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:14 (ten years ago) link

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-07MtbQjYWaI/UUksVK7ID-I/AAAAAAAAH1M/l-AQUQFgP-I/s1600/rhoda+carltondoorman.png

"Hello, this is Carlton, your embarrassing doorman . . ."

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 16:19 (ten years ago) link

"Grudge Match is the most purely entertaining movie released during the Christmas season (American Hustle excepted), yet its strange lack of prestige reveals a change in contemporary film culture where Stallone and DeNiro–one-time pop totems–are now out of media favor."

polyphonic, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:53 (ten years ago) link

He writes like there's a doorman sitting on his keys.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:57 (ten years ago) link

http://carpetbagger.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/07/new-york-critics-group-apologizes-to-mcqueen/?_r=0

"Disciplinary action" is being taken.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:05 (ten years ago) link

NYFCC promises "disciplinary action" xp

The New York Film Critics Circle has issued a formal apology for the behavior of at least one of its member critics at last night’s awards ceremony when director Steve McQueen accepted his prize for 12 Years A Slave. Our sister publication Variety identified the heckler as CityArts editor and well-known cantankerous contrarian critic Armond White, who, per Ramin Setoodeh’s report, said some remarkably inelegant foul-mouthed things to McQueen after the filmmaker was introduced in an impassioned speech by Harry Belafonte. The apology was issued to McQueen and the film’s distributor, Fox Searchlight, by NYCC chair Joshua Rothkopf.

http://www.deadline.com/2014/01/ny-film-critics-circle-apologizes-for-steve-mcqueen-heckling-latest-outburst-in-classless-oscar-campaign-season/

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:08 (ten years ago) link

*googles "classless oscar campaign season" finds Armond White*

From the Album No Baby for You! (Matt P), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:12 (ten years ago) link

of course all critics awards are about the Oscars

fuck American film culture in the ear

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:13 (ten years ago) link

Pretty sure that influencing the Oscars were the actual, for-real genesis of these critics' groups.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:15 (ten years ago) link

What are some good film cultures

polyphonic, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:16 (ten years ago) link

Some where the state funds films, for starters.

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:19 (ten years ago) link

Are there any states that fund film critics

polyphonic, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:21 (ten years ago) link

Thumbsupistan

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:23 (ten years ago) link

lol

polyphonic, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:23 (ten years ago) link

this guy is a shitty writer and an asshole

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 01:08 (ten years ago) link

he usta be good, honest. (I understand his Tupac book was good, too)

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 01:34 (ten years ago) link

Some states have film-programs on state-run tv. So yeah.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 01:36 (ten years ago) link

i wish i could remember what reality show The Soup used to show a clip of with some horrible rich woman casting aspersions on her doorman and saying over and over "A DOORMAN! A DOOR. MAN."

some dude, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 01:37 (ten years ago) link

morbs: is any of his older work available online?

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 01:55 (ten years ago) link

don't think so

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 01:59 (ten years ago) link

Amazing how White has managed to embody everything about Internet film criticism and commenters in real life.

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 02:44 (ten years ago) link

Yeah, takes some chutzpah for a guy to complain the internet killed criticism when he reads so often like a comments troll.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 03:42 (ten years ago) link

so he totally denies having yelled or said anything?

But Mr. White, a member of the circle who has slammed “12 Years a Slave” as “torture porn,” said he never yelled anything, and was aghast at the way he was portrayed. “I was misquoted, lied about,” he said, reached by phone on Tuesday night. “I didn’t yell anything. I was talking among my friends at the table.”

“What I read on the Internet today is outrageous and I don’t know what that means,” he added.

He also said that he did not hear anyone yelling at the event, and that when he read that he had been cited as yelling out “garbage man” and “doorman,” it further made no sense: Mr. McQueen had just taken the stage and had not said a thing. “It’s a lie,” Mr. White said. “It’s not true and the lie gets repeated and repeated.”

From the Album No Baby for You! (Matt P), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 04:48 (ten years ago) link

What are some good film cultures

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 00:16 (9 hours ago) Permalink

yogurt

latebloomer, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 10:07 (ten years ago) link

Here we are: http://cityarts.info/2014/01/08/the-better-than-list-for-2013/

The We and the I> Short Term 12

Michel Gondry’s inventory of basic youth experience (a bildungsroman on wheels) cut through Destin Cretton’s patronizing, maudlin sociology. Gondry’s nearly miraculous feat, as good-natured as it was sensitive and inventive, may be the best film ever made about America by a non-American. A triumph of universality, plus the most profound, insightful, democratic title in years.

Man of Steel > Gravity

Zack Snyder’s powerful visionary re-imagining of the spiritual potential in comix trounces Alfonso Cuaron’s second-rate Kubrick-DePalma rip-off.

Pain & Gain > The Wolf of Wall Street

Michael Bay satirizes American ambition in imagery so bright and exhilarating it exposes the core of spiritual dislocation and rot that Scorsese turns into another self-pleased, overlong gangster epic.

Yossi > Blue is the Warmest Color

Eytan Fox updates Mann’s Death in Venice to L’chaim in Israel; his radiant view of gay humanity rejects Abdellatif Kechiche’s smutty girl-on-girl ode to lovelessness.

Caught in the Web> A Touch of Sin

Chen Kaige’s digital-era farce interwove love stories at cross-purposes with technology while Jia Zhangke smirkingly celebrated China’s moral decline.

The Grandmaster > The Great Gatsby

Wong Kar Wai investigates Chinese spiritual identity through an exquisite, romantic martial arts history but Baz Luhrmann’s latest mess got everything about sex, America, cinema (and F. Scott Fitzgerald) wrong.

Byzantium > Her

Neil Jordan’s ultimate pop-genre revue chose life, unleashing the power of femininity upon its restrictions in British literary and social tradition while Spike Jones dehumanized femininity–and love–as a po-mo joke.

Bullet to the Head > Mud

Walter Hill’s dynamic comeback further analyzed masculinity but in fresh New Millennium context while Jeff Nichols fell further back with ersatz corn-pone juvenilia, the year’s sorriest American movie.

American Hustle > August: Osage Country, The Place Beyond the Pines

David O. Russell’s acting class throwdown shows America to itself as a 70s costume party more exuberant and perceptive than dysfunctional clichés from derivative Broadway product and uninspired Sundance-indie formula made only to collect prizes.

42 > 12 Years a Slave, Lee Daniels’ The Butler

Brian Helgeland interlaced two sides (Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey) of America’s civil rights revolution, making the familiar intense, warm and radiant as Myth. Race-hustler Steve McQueen overplayed the guilt card and Lee Daniels mortgaged his pride in lieu of skill.

Our Nixon > Stories We Tell

Penny Lane’s remarkable act of documentary compassion (using home-movie proof that Watergate was the result of people as human as us) was deliberately misread as more character assassination while Sarah Polley egotistically exploited trite family history.

The Gardener > The Act of Killing

Moshen Makhamalbaf’s brilliant father-to-son survey of belief systems linked by Love contrasts Joshua Oppenheimer’s repugnant, fraudulent vaudeville about Indonesia’s death squads–smart-ass political porn.

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet > Computer Chess

Alain Resnais’ continually astonishing, estheticized exploration of memory and emotion hits a new theatrical-cinema-dream peak that embarrasses Andrew Bujalski’s intentional (yet unintentionally crude) denial of cinema as an esthetic pleasure.

New Slaves > Inside Llewyn Davis

Kanye West’s one-man cinema revival (music video as drive-in movie) was attached to musical/cultural innovation while the Coen Brothers’ Dylanology retreated into hoary yuppie nostalgia. Punk vs. The Establishment.

Bad Grandpa > Nebraska

Same premise, different result. Jackass auteur Jeff Tremaine’s road movie found common, if derisive humanity while Alexander Payne merely derided unsophisticated Middle Americans on his road to Hatersville.

Camille Claudel 1915, Hannah Arendt, Byzantium, Mental, American Hustle > Blue Jasmine

Binoche, Sukowa, Arterton, Adams, Lawrence, Collette gave a year of revelatory female performances through inspired auteurs, all ignored for Cate Blanchett’s dreadful, facetious embodiment of another foul Woody Allen conceit. The problem with contemporary film culture–in skirts.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 17:59 (ten years ago) link

Bad Grandpa > Nebraska

ok this is baller

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:00 (ten years ago) link

And true.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:02 (ten years ago) link

"New Slaves > Inside Llewyn Davis" just sad, though - dude couldn't think up an actual movie to prefer?

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:02 (ten years ago) link

did he see the new bieber doc?

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:03 (ten years ago) link

Actually, pacing the last few years, this about half "right," half "wrong," and still 100 percent extraneous.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:03 (ten years ago) link

yeah it codifies an honorable impulse, forcing people to contrast and compare films one the industry itself prefers you wouldn't, into desperate contrarian shtick

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:06 (ten years ago) link

though honestly I can't shake my fist too hard at his trolling because honestly i still find his reviews more worthwhile than like 90% of the stuff out there. Presenting your pr-dismissing, idiosyncratic take like a wresting heel doesn't make it LESS entertaining.

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:10 (ten years ago) link

honestly

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:10 (ten years ago) link

wrestling heel, rather. sorry so typo.

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:10 (ten years ago) link

"on his road to Hatersville"

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:16 (ten years ago) link

You should read more film criticism if you think Armond White's reviews are as good as it gets.

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:18 (ten years ago) link

you should reread my post if you think i said that

da croupier, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:19 (ten years ago) link

There are tons of film reviewers more entertaining than he is, if that's what you're into, which fine.

Anyway, list is his least controversial out of his Better Than lists, which I think I remember saying about last year's as well. He's losing his "touch".

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:23 (ten years ago) link

The Gardener is terrific.

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:27 (ten years ago) link

it's pretty hysterical that after making false dichotomies the premise of all his reviews for years, he's finally just straight up using the ">" sign like people ranking stuff on twitter.

some dude, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:40 (ten years ago) link

just lolz at him feeling the need to put down Computer Chess with You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet (both films I really liked)

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:43 (ten years ago) link

Binoche, Sukowa, Arterton, Adams, Lawrence, Collette gave a year of revelatory female performances through inspired auteurs, all ignored for Cate Blanchett’s dreadful, facetious embodiment of another foul Woody Allen conceit.

tired of everyone ignoring amy adams and jennifer lawrence

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:44 (ten years ago) link

The problem with contemporary film culture–in skirts.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 18:44 (ten years ago) link

Michael Bay satirizes American ambition in imagery so bright and exhilarating it exposes the core of spiritual dislocation and rot that Scorsese turns into another self-pleased, overlong gangster epic.

don't know why I'm thinking hard about this but: isn't this the difference between symptom and diagnosis? the "core" of spiritual dislocation is exposed only by bright and exhilarating imagery? dngi

ryan, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:00 (ten years ago) link

Want a pair of his glasses that magically turn gold into shit and vice versa.

Meanwhile, on twitter, GK is kvetching and Whit Stillman is coming down in Armond's corner. This is some kind of sad nerd flame war overload.

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:10 (ten years ago) link

(says the man who follows both and is reading the tweets)

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:10 (ten years ago) link

hmmmm

Armond White is the Kanye of Film Criticism

White may have deficiencies as a film critic proper. His knowledge of the medium’s history is often confused and scattershot; his contrarianism (itself a valid function in the whole broader apparatus of cultural taste-formation) often treads precariously close to straight-up trolling. But White’s coarseness, and the attempted egoism of his mocking of McQueen, are not among his flaws. Rudeness is precisely the point. White is denying (or trying to deny) this continued process of guilt-assuaging and artful feel-goodery. Like Kanye West, Armond White essentially stages (in grand, performative sweeps) the return of this repressed material in a way that film like 12 Years A Slave never could. He knows that it is difficult for certain people to reconcile his identity as a black, gay, right-wing Christian. And that's why he puts his personality across so forcefully. That anyone regards him as a problem is the problem.

http://www.nowtoronto.com/movies/story.cfm?content=196100

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:14 (ten years ago) link

Like Kanye West, Armond White essentially stages (in grand, performative sweeps) the return of this repressed material in a way that film like 12 Years A Slave never could.

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6292689408/h6B05F03D/

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:22 (ten years ago) link

"Rudeness as Grand Perfomative Sweep" by Armond White
copyright 2014
University of Chicago Press

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:24 (ten years ago) link

god forbid we just call someone a dick when they act like a dick

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:31 (ten years ago) link

reading Semley's tweets about it are enough, not clicking on that and enabling "random thing is the Kanye of whatever" as something for 2014

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:39 (ten years ago) link

Pain & Gain > The Wolf of Wall Street

I'd co-sign with this. I really hate the way he (and other critics) use the hyphenate "porn" to deride movies, it's almost always lazy and inaccurate.

Simon H., Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:43 (ten years ago) link

(In reference to his nonsensical Act of Killing slam.)

Simon H., Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link

murgatroid otm

some dude, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:46 (ten years ago) link

Semley is so magnificently far off the mark on this one.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:47 (ten years ago) link

not clicking on that and enabling "random thing is the Kanye of whatever" as something for 2014

Ditto. Of course, I could just be saying that because I was called the Drake of 2014 ILX film threads.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:48 (ten years ago) link

i mean, the argument just feels so perfect as a combination of trolling an argument about a troll + i need some content, quick

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:49 (ten years ago) link

the fallout from this could be hilarious. i think this guy's insane, really. if not as much of a creep as jeffrey wells or np thompson.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 19:54 (ten years ago) link

though honestly I can't shake my fist too hard at his trolling because honestly i still find his reviews more worthwhile than like 90% of the stuff out there. Presenting your pr-dismissing, idiosyncratic take like a wresting heel doesn't make it LESS entertaining.

i actually kind of agree with this -- any given piece of his is always going to be more entertaining than peter travers. what's frustrating about him is that he clearly has some talent (clever phrasemaker, knowledge of film history) that he's pissing away. an armond white who backed up his contrarian opinions with actual arguments could actually be a really good critic.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:04 (ten years ago) link

My problem with White is his prose, which has deteriorated over the years.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:06 (ten years ago) link

I read an old SPIN review of his of a Morrissey album and it was zippier and less ponderous and less crippled by a need to construct strawmen than anything written in the last 10 years.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:07 (ten years ago) link

I read an old SPIN review of his of a Morrissey album

haha whaaaat

Hungry4Ass, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:09 (ten years ago) link

The book that compiles some of his earlier stuff is titled The Resistance.

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:15 (ten years ago) link

If memory serves, his reviews of Erotica and janet. are fantastic.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:17 (ten years ago) link

oh that is rich

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:27 (ten years ago) link

Movie critics enjoy a position of privilege virtually unknown to the rest of American society: they can say what they want and write as nastily as they want, as frequently as they want (the Internet is an extraordinary goad to fiery eloquence), and no one will punish them for it.

lolwut

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:29 (ten years ago) link

He apparently knows no female movie critics.

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:31 (ten years ago) link

An intelligent man who enjoys upsetting what he takes to be liberal complacencies about culture, White, an African-American, has spent many merry hours cutting up the films (for instance) of Spike Lee

this sentence can be defined "privilege and good manners"

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 January 2014 20:48 (ten years ago) link

whatever the worst version of white ppl could imagine is i'd still take it over denby. kinda agree he's going soft maybe, like maybe he got sick of being dismissed as contrarian i don't know. alot of that list seems like gimmes and even the vaguely challopsy ones aren't really so much (like i can easily imagine pain and gain is better than wolf of wall street neverminding the gulf in quality between the source materials). this might just be a reflection of no real consensus good movies this year (he's hardly the first person to have problems w/ 12 years a slave or think of it as torture porn).

balls, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 22:45 (ten years ago) link

I mean, when his stunting for Man of Steel is the only thing I can really get het up over, it's an off year for the Better Than list.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Thursday, 9 January 2014 01:14 (ten years ago) link

yeah, it's hard to take when Armond's otm (altho he's apparently against wuv! too re Her, right)

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 9 January 2014 01:42 (ten years ago) link

http://blogs.indiewire.com/criticwire/new-york-film-critics-circle-to-vote-on-armond-whites-expulsion

Why does this matter? The issue of intra-group decorum, while vital to the Circle itself, is not of especial importance to outsiders. Nor does it matter because it makes critics as a whole look bad, as David Denby argued on the New Yorker's website. It matters because of pieces like John Semley's "Armond White is the Kanye of Film Criticism," and because of people who've left comments, on this blog and elsewhere, saying things like, "But 12 Years a Slave *is* white liberal bullshit."

No one does more to further the idea of White as a bold contrarian than White himself, aka "the strongest voice that exists in contemporary criticism." But bold contrarians don't yell out public comments and then pretend they didn't, which is the very opposite of speaking truth to power. Notwithstanding its rhetorical lapses, White's review of 12 Years a Slave made a fitfully powerful case against the film, but yelling "Fuck you!" as its director accepts an award is not criticism. It's cowardice.

Maintenance Engineer of Foolhardiness (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:09 (ten years ago) link

white is essentially a one-person war between these two modes of film crit, an academic who's stuck himself firmly in the thumbsup/thumbsdown community that he hates so much -- and he could be so happy if he just knew how to give up the big show! i support pop-academic film crit that exists in part for political subtext and occasionally makes ridiculous statements, i hate rottentomatoes, it's just so hard to fully support white because he's so wrong all the time. he hardly watches movies anymore, if he ever did, doesn't seem to fully grasp what actually happened in anything he watches, writes as if he's slept through most of everything he sees. also has certain ridiculous abstract standards and buzzwords that he's formed into some halfway moral code that can be applied to any film for any reason he chooses. i wish there was a version of him around who actually did the work.

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:22 (ten years ago) link

the first graf of that indiewire story -- ugh. I know it's tongue in cheek but

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:28 (ten years ago) link

Pain & Gain > The Wolf of Wall Street

Haven't seen WoWS yet, but P&G is one of my favorite movies of last year.

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:29 (ten years ago) link

From slashfilm interview:

The internet is full of some of the same people who simply exist to defame me. It seems to be their only purpose in life. This is an important part of the lies that are being spread right now, because they’re being spread by people who simply want to hate on Armond. It happens that these are people, many of them so-called film critics, they just don’t have the ability and they probably don’t even have the interest of ever debating a film with me, probably because they can’t. And so, out of that weakness, out of that envy, out of that fear, they decide to make ad hominem attacks against me and say that I’m a bad guy, that I’m rude to people, and they talk against me personally because they can never ever match me intellectually, and will never engage me in a debate. I’m all about the discussion of film as you well know, and these so-called colleagues of mine never are because they’re incapable of it. And so they take the weak way out by hating on me, and hating on me to the extent that they lie about me and they repeat these lies in the media.

Decrying the sorry state of journalism and writing yet using "hate on"

http://www.slashfilm.com/armond-white-denies-heckling-steve-mcqueen-nyfcc-awards/

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:30 (ten years ago) link

using "hate on" in the third person, no less

da croupier, Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:33 (ten years ago) link

Decrying the sorry state of filmcrit yet his idea of engagement is to heckle filmmakers.

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:34 (ten years ago) link

i wish there was a version of him around who actually did the work.

so otm.

something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:34 (ten years ago) link

certifiably insane

christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:36 (ten years ago) link

quoted in that indiewire thing

Among some Circle members and media folk, there is personal, petty interest in seeing me maligned. I guess the awards themselves don't matter. It's a shameless attempt to squelch the strongest voice that exists in contemporary criticism....

Did I make sotto voce comments to entertain my five guests? Sure, but nothing intended for others to hear and none correctly "reported." I don't even know what it means to call Steve McQueen a "garbage man" or "doorman" even though the racist implications are obvious. None of this makes sense which is what happens when online journalism reports a malicious lie.

can't decide what wins the trophy: calling yourself "the strongest voice that exists in contemporary criticism" or "did i make sotto voce comments to entertain my five guests?" or "i don't even know what it means...even though the racist implications are obvious"

da croupier, Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:43 (ten years ago) link

curious if referring to your +5 at the NYFCC is a humblebrag

da croupier, Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:44 (ten years ago) link

whit stillman and four more?

christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 9 January 2014 02:46 (ten years ago) link

He knows that it is difficult for certain people to reconcile his identity as a black, gay, right-wing Christian.

I'd always assumed his gayness based on the references to Michael Lucas and Wakefield Poole that occasionally pop up in his reviews, but has he ever actually publicly come out?

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Thursday, 9 January 2014 03:10 (ten years ago) link

It's difficult for him to reconcile his own identity as a black, gay, right-wing Christian.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Thursday, 9 January 2014 03:22 (ten years ago) link

That's what I figured.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Thursday, 9 January 2014 03:29 (ten years ago) link

critics usu don't come out, cuz no one cares

AW's politics are far too addled to earn "right-wing" I'd say

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 9 January 2014 03:39 (ten years ago) link

free armond

Hungry4Ass, Thursday, 9 January 2014 03:40 (ten years ago) link

Zack Snyder’s powerful visionary re-imagining of the spiritual potential in comix trounces Alfonso Cuaron’s second-rate Kubrick-DePalma rip-off.

right is wrong, up is down, dogs are cats

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 9 January 2014 07:30 (ten years ago) link

lol what does that insult even mean
― Hungry4Ass, Tuesday, January 7, 2014 1:44 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think it means that white is accusing mcqueen of being an uncle tom. or low-class. or both, somehow. pretty hateful either/both ways.

what happens when you veer into unintentional self-parody and just stay on that road for years and years? when do people start ignoring you? or are we doomed to play this out forever?

★feminist parties i have attended (amateurist), Thursday, 9 January 2014 08:18 (ten years ago) link

btw if you type "armond white" into Google, it autofills "troll" afterward

★feminist parties i have attended (amateurist), Thursday, 9 January 2014 08:23 (ten years ago) link

Gee, that's certainly not going to fuel his schtick any.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Monday, 13 January 2014 19:09 (ten years ago) link

(Armond tosses out provocations like grenades and eats acclaimed films for breakfast)

an editor let this sentence in?

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 January 2014 19:20 (ten years ago) link

It's a parenthetical

you are kind, I am (waterface), Monday, 13 January 2014 19:27 (ten years ago) link

you don't say

the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 January 2014 19:37 (ten years ago) link

I guess this would all be considered a win-win, really.

Alfre, Lord Woodard (Eric H.), Monday, 13 January 2014 19:37 (ten years ago) link

I saw 12 Years yesterday and consider Armond's accusations of slavery porn to be among the most clueless he's ever uttered. He's not a critic, he's a shameless, attention-craving charlatan who's found the best way to get what he wants with the least effort.

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Monday, 13 January 2014 22:56 (ten years ago) link

what does he want, tell me

a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Monday, 13 January 2014 22:59 (ten years ago) link

oh attention. well that's bad then

a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:00 (ten years ago) link

for its own sake, its not very worthwhile.

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:04 (ten years ago) link

you'd think he'd like porn

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 13 January 2014 23:05 (ten years ago) link

because...

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:12 (ten years ago) link

he's Christian

Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:16 (ten years ago) link

Note his dropping of the names Michael Lucas and Wakefield Poole into his reviews.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:18 (ten years ago) link

link?

a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:19 (ten years ago) link

he likes a fair amount of brainless pop music, cuz he's gay

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:23 (ten years ago) link

how nice

a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:26 (ten years ago) link

nice day all day on the nice board

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Monday, 13 January 2014 23:36 (ten years ago) link

because...

― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Monday, January 13, 2014 11:12 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

because he enjoys the films of Paul WS Anderson

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 13 January 2014 23:40 (ten years ago) link

link?

― a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Monday, January 13, 2014 6:19 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

From his ridiculous rant against the Palm D'Or re: Blue is the Warmest Color:

The Festival circuit is notoriously gullible and 2013 moviegoers may never have seen stuff like this, not even Radley Metzger’s Therese and Isabelle or Jake Deckard’s Men in the Sand) but at best they’ll be shocked, not enlightened, bored not edified.

(ok, so my memory failed me a bit--he's not referencing Wakefield Poole directly, but rather a recent remake of Poole's 70s gay porn film Men in the Sand. Still...)

A Google search didn't turn up his reference to Michael Lucas, and I can't remember which review it occurred in (probably something from the NY Press days), but as far as I can recall, it was a similar kind of comparison.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 01:52 (ten years ago) link

oic he's got a catholic block

a group of dadfucker types (Matt P), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 02:13 (ten years ago) link

toting up the religious bigots itt

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 02:23 (ten years ago) link

on the Armond story and other hot-take 'controversies'

http://blog.sundancenow.com/weekly-columns/bombast-124

eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Monday, 20 January 2014 17:26 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://cityarts.info/2014/02/11/p-c-ping-pong/

The film tours pre-Feminist oppression and indicts Catholic Church restrictions before arriving at its predetermined destination: a harangue on sexual tolerance regarding Philomena’s gay son which includes the mushiest, most calculating AIDS exploitation since Brokeback Mountain.

!!?

Eric H., Wednesday, 12 February 2014 19:19 (ten years ago) link

Brokeback Mountain exploits AIDS by having a gay guy be a victim of a homophobic murder in the 1970s, duh!

That said, Philomena does sound insufferable. The church and Republicans are homophobic? You're shitting me!

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 22:09 (ten years ago) link

he should have just coined "AIDSploitation" otherwise really what's the point?

espring (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 23:11 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

Okay, why didn't any of you tell me that Armond has a column in Out magazine now?

Anyway, I may be misreading this review but if I get the gist, it's that the 300 sequel is good because it has hot men and abs: http://www.out.com/entertainment/armond-white/2014/03/16/zack-snyder-re-invents-epic-erotic-300-rise-empire

"Most adventure movies offer fleeting thrills, Snyder’s 300 series combines an emotional surge with a chubby that keeps you ready for more."

Herbie Handcock (Murgatroid), Monday, 17 March 2014 19:20 (ten years ago) link

The spiky and smooth neck hairs are as textured as the different sets of aureole and bulgy nipples that—through 3D imagery—seem touchable.

genuinely feel this could be a rejuvenative direction for him. rex reed should do it too.

difficult listening hour, Monday, 17 March 2014 19:31 (ten years ago) link

news to me! defensible standard for such a film imho

xp

images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 March 2014 19:31 (ten years ago) link

LOL, I actually only just today found out Armond was in OUT myself. I can only hope this strong editorial guidance helps him achieve lucidity. This particular review (and the one for Long Day Closes) make more sense than almost anything he's written in the last decade.

Eric H., Monday, 17 March 2014 19:40 (ten years ago) link

Not serving as your own editor will do that.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Monday, 17 March 2014 19:44 (ten years ago) link

Her black eyes and dark heart recall the great Irene Pappas’s Helen of Troy in The Trojan Women, yet she wields a sword with slo-mo vaginal power.

Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 17 March 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link

gorgeous men enflamed by their emotions

Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 17 March 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link

emotive men engorged by their flaming

images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 March 2014 20:30 (ten years ago) link

Best thing he's written in years.

Quinoa Phoenix (latebloomer), Monday, 17 March 2014 20:55 (ten years ago) link

The spiky and smooth neck hairs are as textured as the different sets of aureole and bulgy nipples that—through 3D imagery—seem touchable.

it's like armond's dirrrty cousin, raymond white.

espring (amateurist), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 10:01 (ten years ago) link

i smell a sitcom

espring (amateurist), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 10:02 (ten years ago) link

identical cousins, one a pugnacious, self-deluded critic for a prestigious daily (ok, we can take a little license) who is a lightning rod of controversy, the other a randy, hedonistic gossip columnist for a LGBT magazine.

espring (amateurist), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 10:03 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

wow I had totally forgotten Armond White took Public Enemy to task for "caving" to the white media over the Prof Griff/anti-semitism flap

"With this attitude, Chuck D isn't good for anything except recording mindless, pointless confections. This is the first tough fight Public Enemy has had to face and they've crumbled like chalk."

never change bro

two months pass...

http://www.indiewire.com/survey/top-films-of-2014-so-far/best-film/armond-white

01. 300: Rise of an Empire
02. Blended
03. Dormant Beauty
04. Jimmy P.
05. Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons
06. The LEGO Movie
07. Maladies
08. Palo Alto
09. Rob the Mob
10. Young and Beautiful (Jeune et jolie)

Cronk's Not Cronk (Eric H.), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 17:01 (nine years ago) link

Mildly disappointed he didn't go all-in with a vote toward God's Not Dead or Heaven Is For Real.

Cronk's Not Cronk (Eric H.), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 17:01 (nine years ago) link

we agree on #10 at least. Glad to see he and his National Review masters align on The LEGO Movie and capitalism.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 17:55 (nine years ago) link

I'm guessing 05 isn't the Tsai Ming-liang one...

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 17:58 (nine years ago) link

LEGO Movie is p great

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 18:00 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

All this comes through in a time-shifting narrative no less complicated than Faulkner or an Alain Resnais art movie, yet dared by director Tate Taylor and screenwriters Jez and John-Henry Butterworth. They cohere Brown’s personality contrasts through the counterpoint of grueling personal experience. It seems jumpy and fatuous at first — and the opening scene of an elderly Brown’s rifle-toting eccentricity is appallingly misjudged, mixing toilet humor and orneriness — but eventually the film parallels Brown’s own staccato, percussive orchestrations.

Taylor, who directed The Help (and so I expected the worst), grasps the enormity of his subject with both hands, telling an individual and a cultural history at once. This was a risky project during the Obama era, especially following what Harvey Weinstein named Hollywood’s “Obama Effect” (seen in patronizing films from The Butler to 12 Years a Slave that sought to rationalize black history as a long-gone prelude to triumph). Taylor’s The Help seemed part of that specious movement, but Get on Up has a more rigorous, inflected narrative — not as fine as Cadillac Records, but superior to Ray and more exuberant than both.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 3 August 2014 18:49 (nine years ago) link

i also loved cadillac records

Mordy, Sunday, 3 August 2014 19:23 (nine years ago) link

Red Hollywood, the film essay by academics Thom Andersen and Noel Burch now presented at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, revives the mythology of the Hollywood Blacklist–a Cold War topic that, after 9/11, should have collapsed into rubble along with the World Trade Center.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Friday, 15 August 2014 21:22 (nine years ago) link

hmmm, a new level of delusion. where did this run, the NR?

son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Friday, 15 August 2014 21:29 (nine years ago) link

mais oui!

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 August 2014 21:30 (nine years ago) link

That sheds some new light on why he loved Stone's WTC.

You are exactly why people root for the apes (Eric H.), Friday, 15 August 2014 21:39 (nine years ago) link

AW does not care for that new Sin City movie costarring "Joseph Gordon-Lewis."

Cindy Operahouse (WilliamC), Friday, 22 August 2014 01:45 (nine years ago) link

copy editors do not care for AW.

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Friday, 22 August 2014 01:49 (nine years ago) link

Is there any decent online index of Armond's reviews? I keep hoping for a cheap Kindle compilation (like Ebert's themed collections of zero- and one-star reviews, only funnier) but no such luck :(

You guys are caterpillar (Telephone thing), Friday, 22 August 2014 12:23 (nine years ago) link

He is making all of our cards

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/386521/across-ungreat-divide-armond-white

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:11 (nine years ago) link

Since 2004, the year that film culture split along moral and artistic lines, political and class biases have been exhibited in films that became more and more partisan.

I deeply admire his ability to have your head spinning with challop-driven confusion from the very first sentence.

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:13 (nine years ago) link

Not just entertainment, the 20 films listed here effectively destroyed art, social unity, and spiritual confidence.

...

9) Knocked Up (2007) — Judd Apatow’s comedy of bad manners attacked maturity and propriety.

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:16 (nine years ago) link

The Dark Knight (2008) used the Batman myth to undermine heroism, overturn social mores, and embrace anarchy.

I'm no fan of Nolan's trilogy, but wasn't this the one where Batman gets all Patriot Act to stop the Joker?

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:17 (nine years ago) link

wow even the commenters are like WTF

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:17 (nine years ago) link

but then

The Anger of This Place Amazes • 3 hours ago

Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds wasn't anything even remotely about the history of WWII!!

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:19 (nine years ago) link

we should also acknowledge the article where he goes into how 2004 was the year everything changed

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/386468/year-culture-broke-armond-white

re: negative reviews of passion of the christ

It was moral vandalism, sullying ideas and totems sacred to many. Such a fundamental offense devastated civilized behavior in ways many still have not realized. It drove a wedge between the public and the elites who make movies; the very ground we walked upon as enlightened, cultured people was scorched like Ground Zero at the World Trade Center.

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:20 (nine years ago) link

half of the blurbs are otm

son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:21 (nine years ago) link

the fact that he's half-right is part of what makes him a troll beyond compare

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:23 (nine years ago) link

14) A History of Violence (2005) — David Cronenberg’s new take on Ugly Americans blamed patriotic sadism.

*~~American flags flutter in the breeze over the compound of corrupt Republican Senator Richie Cusack (William Hurt)~~*

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:24 (nine years ago) link

He's right re: the vile Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but, as evidenced by his Dark Knight blurb, he doesn't even properly read the films he has good reason to trash.

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:26 (nine years ago) link

the Slumdog blurb is tom

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:28 (nine years ago) link

otm too

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:28 (nine years ago) link

i can easily imagine someone realizing that 2004 had two very striking, very different blockbusters and considering the effect of those hits on hollywood. but it takes a real champ to roid up to AND SUDDENLY GLOBAL TEATIME WAS SHATTERED AND THE NOBILITY OF POP CULTURE WAS LOST FOREVER without even the slightest bit of second guessing

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:29 (nine years ago) link

and throwing in weird asides about how the fix was in at cannes thanks to tarantino instead of an actual investigation of pop film history

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:30 (nine years ago) link

Hipster Hollywood

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:31 (nine years ago) link

Maybe I'm forgetting the weird misogyny of there will be blood, idk. Strange to hear that complaint, though, from a reverent fan of 3000 Miles to Graceland.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:32 (nine years ago) link

that instead of hollywood reflecting the red-state/blue-state schism, critics and liberal directors CAUSED it. in TWO THOUSAND AND FOUR.

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:32 (nine years ago) link

"liberals ruined america, can i write about it for you?"

"Please do, older black dude with journalistic credentials! Score!"

"LO, HOW THE HANGOVER DID SHIT UPON MY ONCE BEAUTIFUL WORLD. OH CURSED TARANTINO. FOUL BRANGELINA!"

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:35 (nine years ago) link

happy Brangelina Wedding Aftermath btw everybody

son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:37 (nine years ago) link

i hope his book fills in the gaps between nanook of the north and pulp fiction, maybe a bit about how in 1984 Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters and Police Academy reflected a sense that hipsters and authority structures were learning to co-exist under reagan, smoothing the ruptures of the 60s

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:42 (nine years ago) link

Surprised at how (relatively) subdued his pan of Boyhood was, with exactly zero shit-throwing over the Obama stuff or the (largely misunderstood, I think) representations of Red State America.

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:45 (nine years ago) link

i hope his book fills in the gaps between nanook of the north and pulp fiction, maybe a bit about how in 1984 Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters and Police Academy reflected a sense that hipsters and authority structures were learning to co-exist under reagan, smoothing the ruptures of the 60s

ha – isn't this what J. Hoberman's book is about?

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:46 (nine years ago) link

not in a rush to find out but it wouldn't surprise me

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:47 (nine years ago) link

In what the New York Times’s A.O. Scott called a “suave, scholarly tour de force,” J. Hoberman delivers a brilliant and witty look at the decade when politics and pop culture became one.

This was the era of the Missile Gap and the Space Race, the Black and Sexual Revolutions, the Vietnam War and Watergate—as well as the tele-saturation of the American market and the advent of Pop art. In “elegant, epigrammatic prose,” as Scott put it, Hoberman moves from the political histories of movies to the theater of wars, national political campaigns, and pop culture events.

With entertaining reinterpretations of key Hollywood movies (such as Bonnie and Clyde, The Wild Bunch, and Shampoo), and meditations on personages from Che Guevara, John Wayne, and Patty Hearst to Jane Fonda, Ronald Reagan, and Dirty Harry, Hoberman reconstructs the hidden political history of 1960s cinema and the formation of America’s mass-mediated politics.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:48 (nine years ago) link

capital letters, so it's important

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:49 (nine years ago) link

Armond misses 2004, and this is all straight up nostalgia.

You'll Never Believe Which Of Your Favorite Movies Ruined Our Country

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:53 (nine years ago) link

That said, I'll probably get What We Don't Talk about When We Talk about the Movies from the library when it comes out.

Armond misses 2004, and this is all a suave, scholarly tour de force.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:54 (nine years ago) link

I just hope Mel Gibson reads it and gives Armond a "you get me" bouquet

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:55 (nine years ago) link

saw this pop up on twitter and i knew this thread would be all a-light

goole, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:55 (nine years ago) link

these sentences, my god

goole, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:57 (nine years ago) link

SARCASTIC VIOLENCE IS THE NEW MARRIAGE EQUALITY

goole, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:58 (nine years ago) link

i feel like i'm reading dayo's hong kong tshirt thread

goole, Thursday, 28 August 2014 16:58 (nine years ago) link

Armond misses 2004, and the toilet.

Armond gets slack from me these days for saying that Michael Cera is a "modern Sterling Holloway."

http://www.studiosystemnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Michael-Cera.jpg http://poorwilliam.net/pix/holloway-sterling2.jpg

son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:08 (nine years ago) link

David Fincher’s new Horatio Alger tale glorified technocrat Mark Zuckerberg with chic, digital-era arrogance.

"Glorified." You know, the guy who ends the movie alone and debating whether or not to send a friend request to the girl who dumped him at the beginning of the movie, showing he had grown not a bit.

Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:10 (nine years ago) link

Armond gets slack from me these days for being the most interesting part of the NYFCC banquet.

well arguably any movie about a person is "glorification" in the sense that you're suggesting they're worthy of getting a movie about them. though the fact that he calls it a "new horatio alger tale" does undermine his thesis that these movies were unprecedented blows to our collective morality from the liberal left

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:14 (nine years ago) link

that's why Armond's a perfect fit for NRO. "Glorify" is one of their favorite verbs.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:16 (nine years ago) link

i still think he's gonna get too real for them eventually

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:18 (nine years ago) link

He's splitting the suicidal conservatives who won't watch Hollyporn from the ones who go, "Well, wait a minute, I can like The Dark Knight and vote for Romney" more than anything I've seen on the regular site.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:20 (nine years ago) link

yeah i assume one day he's going to piss off bruce willis or somebody and then he'll be quietly dispatched from the site

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:22 (nine years ago) link

Just now on Twitter:

Glenn Kenny ‏@Glenn__Kenny 13s
Shorter Armond White: God how I hate attractive, socially adept people

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:37 (nine years ago) link

oh come on jesus was clearly attractive and socially adept

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:38 (nine years ago) link

ok we can debate "socially adept" considering his fate but dude obv had a pull

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:41 (nine years ago) link

There you go, glorifying Jesus again.

Welcome to my spooooooky carnival! Hope I don't... blow your mind! (Phil D.), Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:43 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylYzbB-tLcs

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 17:44 (nine years ago) link

for all his manias and delusions, i suspect AW can still distinguish what constitutes a romantic comedy.

son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 28 August 2014 21:36 (nine years ago) link

Michael Cera is a "modern Sterling Holloway."

omg how could I not have noticed this before

Οὖτις, Thursday, 28 August 2014 21:39 (nine years ago) link

for all his manias and delusions, i suspect AW can still distinguish what constitutes a romantic comedy.

― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius),

whew! it saves you the trouble

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 28 August 2014 21:40 (nine years ago) link

c'mon man this is the armond white thread, if you're gonna troll show some teeth

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 21:40 (nine years ago) link

"meh meh lest you forget i'm uptight about people liking judd apatow movies" armond white has declared judd apatow movies in part responsible for the fall of man try harder

da croupier, Thursday, 28 August 2014 21:41 (nine years ago) link

Armond said liberal media disparaging the passion of the Christ was worse than 9/11. That's a pretty high bar for any troll to match.

I don't wanna derail this thread, but Jesus kinda strikes me as one of the least socially adept people ever... Like, the guy attacked the freaking temple in Jerusalem, that was quite clearly a social no-go...

Frederik B, Thursday, 28 August 2014 21:57 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

accuses Variety of sedition!

Citizenfour is not about Snowden’s change of heart (if such ever occurred) and not an examination of his untroubled disloyalty. Poitras’s stylized presentation makes Snowden’s covert activities accord with the atmosphere of annoyance and resentment — the same liberal smugness that ruined Brian De Palma’s Redacted.

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/391061/paranoid-and-visionary-armond-white

this horrible, rotten slog to rigor mortis (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 October 2014 17:37 (nine years ago) link

wow...snowden checks his hair before being interviewed...that IS damning

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 17:45 (nine years ago) link

the George Clooney anti-capitalist Ocean’s Eleven franchise films

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 17:48 (nine years ago) link

the fun clarity of the military testimonies in Costa Gavras’s Z

alright it's been a while since i saw Z, but...

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 17:51 (nine years ago) link

fun?

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 17:51 (nine years ago) link

Clarity!

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 October 2014 17:58 (nine years ago) link

i'm pretty bummed he was forced to go to actual acclaimed "classics" from the past, and couldn't make negative comparisons to Son Of God or a D'Souza doc.

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 17:59 (nine years ago) link

no "if you want to see someone truly stand up for an idea from a place of righteousness, consider God's Not Dead"

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 18:01 (nine years ago) link

"Robert Downey Jr in The Judge, now there's a man who can navigate a moral dilemma without abandoning our national code"

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 18:02 (nine years ago) link

The cat and mouse games of costa gravas's breezy caper 'missing'

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Friday, 24 October 2014 18:04 (nine years ago) link

xpost "not to mention a movie that realizes the inferences one can make from hair products"

da croupier, Friday, 24 October 2014 18:04 (nine years ago) link

then in the second review he goes on to say that ppl who were "fooled" by Grand Budapest will be "astounded" by Alain Resnais' swan song. Wouldn't they be too dumb for that?

this horrible, rotten slog to rigor mortis (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 October 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link

Snowden says “in the history of man” a lot — to measure his alarm and his audacity; the phrase is his password to Benedict Arnold, the Rosenbergs, and Daniel Ellsberg‘s martyrdom.

wtf?

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 24 October 2014 18:06 (nine years ago) link

that nimble trickster Wes Anderson~~!

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Friday, 24 October 2014 18:06 (nine years ago) link

had no idea AW was pro-Benedict Arnold

this horrible, rotten slog to rigor mortis (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 October 2014 18:08 (nine years ago) link

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/391061/paranoid-and-visionary-armond-white

Beautiful url.

Eric H., Friday, 24 October 2014 18:37 (nine years ago) link

the inferences one can make from urls

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 October 2014 19:05 (nine years ago) link

In praise of Godard, the Mekons' "derelict charm," and dissing Gyllenhaal's "bug-eyed nosferatu." The best column of his I've read in awhile.

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/391512/goodbye-language-godard-goes-3d-armond-white

things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 5 November 2014 18:52 (nine years ago) link

two months pass...

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/race/banned-critic-new-york-film-761089

In this age of conformity, unanimity hides bias and truth-tellers get ostracized. Film criticism has lost its independence. Group-think not only removes honor from consensus opinion, it also promotes hostility to the practice of journalistic criticism. This was proved by the Circle's attempt to demonize my singular, intimidating position as a critic.

Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 04:00 (nine years ago) link

my upcoming book, Critic Without a Culture

Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 04:01 (nine years ago) link

the other day my subway sandwich artist asked me "who was that guy who made those documentaries? about columbine and stuff?" and i just looked at him blankly before realizing back in the car 20 minutes later oh yeah, michael moore. i'd almost suggested gus van sant.

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 04:07 (nine years ago) link

If Sandwich Artists don't know who Michael Moore is, than Armond Has Won.

Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 04:11 (nine years ago) link

Is the better-than list for '14 up yet? I only ask because I have no real clue where I might find it anymore (National Review? Out? Somewhere else?).

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 04:59 (nine years ago) link

'Better Thans' go live in mid-January, no?

Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 05:23 (nine years ago) link

well he's gotta wait to see how the critical consensus about a movie shapes up before he can decide if he likes it or not. That usually takes until well after the new year.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 05:35 (nine years ago) link

Crossing fingers for "Penguins of Madagascar > Birdman"

da croupier, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 07:23 (nine years ago) link

Did Paul W.S. Anderson release a movie this year? 'Cause that's always an easy one.

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 12:08 (nine years ago) link

Pompeii (referred to in marketing as Pompeii in 3D) is a 2014 German-Canadian
historical disaster film produced and directed by Paul W. S. Anderson.

sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 12:13 (nine years ago) link

my upcoming book, Critic Without a Culture

― Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm feeling it.

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 12:52 (nine years ago) link

Well he has a point about conformity and consensus and that's the reason I've argued he's important and that I hope he inspires other critics to follow him. And then write better than him. But it's increasingly hard to believe someone will stand out and get the same platform as film critics get fewer and consensus aggregates rule the day.

abcfsk, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 13:38 (nine years ago) link

PWSA has plenty of supporters tho

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 22:29 (nine years ago) link

Trying to anticipate AW's take on Selma. I somehow think it will turn on the scene with the Kings and the FBI sex tape.

touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 22:35 (nine years ago) link

so weird that he chose the year in which they give the top prize to "goodbye to language" to pen a screed about how the NYFCC is a shill for the studios. and by "weird" i guess i mean "typical." this megalomaniacal asshole cannot go away faster.

I dunno. (amateurist), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 00:28 (nine years ago) link

i mean, they gave the prize to a film that barely even got distributed! what more does armond white want?

I dunno. (amateurist), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 00:28 (nine years ago) link

uh, that was the Natl Society. The NY crix gave it to your fave Boyhood.

touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 01:57 (nine years ago) link

oh... wow. i don't think i've ever known the difference! well, score one for armond. actually, no.

I dunno. (amateurist), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:28 (nine years ago) link

i mean, they gave the prize to a film that barely even got distributed! what more does armond white want?
--I dunno. (amateurist)

he'll come up with a troll take for pretty much any outcome/scenario/critical opinion/etc. it literally does not matter what it is, he just needs to oppose it. apparently he's also piss drink more often than not and his copy is impossible to edit, according to a critic friend

i'm tellin you it was kenard (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:41 (nine years ago) link

*piss drunk

i'm tellin you it was kenard (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 02:42 (nine years ago) link

I've heard he's also into drinking piss, actually.

Eric H., Wednesday, 7 January 2015 04:17 (nine years ago) link

Chased with vinegar, et al.

Eric H., Wednesday, 7 January 2015 04:17 (nine years ago) link

I'd believe it tbh

i'm tellin you it was kenard (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 05:01 (nine years ago) link

He usta be good. Once or twice a year he still is.

touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 05:25 (nine years ago) link

I don't get the hubbub. I remember his year end lists being tasteful. It's not like a new Transformers movie came out.

And when he was editing himself for the city paper or whatever it was, his copy was raw, but it wasn't uneditable.

bamcquern, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 05:32 (nine years ago) link

It's here: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/396040/tenth-annual-better-list-armond-white

I think I had the same reaction to last year's list - none of it really "shocked" me, in so much as these things (or Armond) could.

Tay-Tay Brooklynpants (Murgatroid), Saturday, 10 January 2015 01:28 (nine years ago) link

Its probably a credit to him that after all these years we might expect him to "shock us" on any level.

Never sure why he bothers with the picks that are so obvious as to be redundant. Don't know why it needs to be said that Journey to the West is better than Maleficent.

tsrobodo, Saturday, 10 January 2015 01:33 (nine years ago) link

whether or not i'm shocked, i felt his phrasing deserved a poll

Best Succinct Film Pan From Armond White's 10th Annual Better-Than List

da croupier, Saturday, 10 January 2015 01:36 (nine years ago) link

Korengal > Citizenfour

Sebastian Junger honors the risks of Afghanistan soldiers while Laura Poitras celebrates Edward Snowden’s anti-American paranoia.

300: Rise of an Empire > Interstellar

Noam Murro and Zach Snyder raised 3D pulp to a level of sensual, visceral astonishment but Christopher Nolan couldn’t get past nerdy, boring imitation-Kubrick space oddity.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Saturday, 10 January 2015 01:42 (nine years ago) link

Wrong Journey to the West...

Frederik B, Saturday, 10 January 2015 01:47 (nine years ago) link

Throughout 2014, movie culture, as we used to know it, collapsed. Old Masters Godard, Bertolucci, Resnais and Troell kept the faith yet went ignored.

Best not to open your annual screed by citing a film that has been lauded with awards as "ignored."

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Saturday, 10 January 2015 02:05 (nine years ago) link

He's right about Lego Movie and Snowpiercer.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 10 January 2015 05:51 (nine years ago) link

SNOWPIERCER knowingly cartoonish and funny though.

Insane Prince of False Binaries (Gukbe), Saturday, 10 January 2015 07:03 (nine years ago) link

five months pass...

He seems to want to fuck Chris Pratt

http://www.out.com/armond-white/2015/6/10/jurassic-dreams-chris-pratt-haunts-fanboy-wet-dreams-spielbergs-dino

polyphonic, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:15 (eight years ago) link

Heaven forbid.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:16 (eight years ago) link

i'm just sad this wasn't in the national review

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:21 (eight years ago) link

He has a new piece in OZY. lol

polyphonic, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:21 (eight years ago) link

This -- "he’s like a gainfully employed Matthew Rush" -- is pretty o_0 tho.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:24 (eight years ago) link

The Jurassic World script doesn’t allow Pratt the personal charm — the wink — that Harrison Ford brought off as Indy, hero of many adolescent boys’ dreams. Pratt’s eyes are gentle, yet his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids overwhelm this formulaic movie — and Bryce Dallas Howard’s shrill, vapid Park supervisor. She’s unappealing as Owen’s love interest. Maybe a lesbian critic could try justifying her cold acting but who can say what hetero guys who see Jurassic World put into their spank banks? I bet it’s Owen.

this paragraph sure takes a turn

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:25 (eight years ago) link

i don't read a lot of out magazine but it's not really the place i'd expect an "i dunno, maybe a lesbian will dig it" aside

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:28 (eight years ago) link

LOL, 'cause that's totally what lesbians are into, Armond. Demeaning, frigid female characters who learn the value of having children with hot dudes over the course of the movie.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:35 (eight years ago) link

C Pratt was much cuter when a bit fluffier.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:43 (eight years ago) link

Not my type in either form.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:43 (eight years ago) link

his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids
his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:44 (eight years ago) link

I'm sorry, I missed the part when the voluptuous trapazoid ate Newman

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:44 (eight years ago) link

voluptuous trapazoids

Pretty impressive in the context of the word "velociraptors."

Or it would've been had his movie bothered to mention any dinosaurs at all.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:45 (eight years ago) link

his movie review

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:45 (eight years ago) link

OUT magazine is generally aimed, like all "gay" mainstream pubs, at fairly rich white men who don't know (m)any lesbians and think 'centrist' Dems are tot awesome bcuz "marriage."

Maybe only 12-year-old boys are still into dinosaurs.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:46 (eight years ago) link

his voluptuous reviews

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:48 (eight years ago) link

i would have been a little more impressed if he'd spelled trapezoid correctly

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:50 (eight years ago) link

Attended the screening last night with a 29-year-old boy who was verrrrrry much still into dinosaurs.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:50 (eight years ago) link

though this did come up when googling http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trapazoid

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:51 (eight years ago) link

Reading Armond reviews is like falling into a trapazoid.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:51 (eight years ago) link

the first two entries for "stout-thewed" are from armond, followed by a few from conan books and a few from the 19th century

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:53 (eight years ago) link

so Armond is a dinosaur who writes reviews

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 18:53 (eight years ago) link

i never thought anyone other than robert howard used the word "thewed"

goole, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:05 (eight years ago) link

trapawhat now? tight editorial shop over there at out, huh

anyway, oh, armond. i wonder who else could conceivably write for both out and NRO (i don't really)

goole, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:07 (eight years ago) link

there are still gay Republicans, and in the case of O-bots, close enough

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:11 (eight years ago) link

Maybe only 12-year-old boys are still into dinosaurs.

haha morbs. this is a perfect example of how your elitist scorn just reveals your own small-mindedness (this is point that, because of same small-mindedness, you will or can never take to heart, alas). now, i couldn't care less about this film, but there's really no reason why anyone /wouldn't/ be interested in dinosaurs!

you're a really sad person, you know that?

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:20 (eight years ago) link

also, girls like dinosaurs too.

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:21 (eight years ago) link

obsessed vs interested

i'm not crazy about you, either

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:21 (eight years ago) link

it would be a badge of pride, if i gave a fraction of a shit

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:22 (eight years ago) link

a dinosaur shit.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:22 (eight years ago) link

jeez that Armond quote is some wacky misogynist shit

ultimate american sock (mh), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:23 (eight years ago) link

although frankly there's a certain pathos in observing your scorn for anyone who doesn't have the same limited habits of mind

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:24 (eight years ago) link

xpost

yeah the title of this thread (the 1st half anyway) is of enduring relevance

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:24 (eight years ago) link

actually my previous post applies to both morbs and armond, so i'm on topic despite myself

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:25 (eight years ago) link

previous previous i mean

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:25 (eight years ago) link

l-r Goldblum, amateurist

http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbjlo0Retv1qedl16o1_1280.png

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:29 (eight years ago) link

l-r Morbius, everything in the entire world

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:33 (eight years ago) link

l-r: armond, voluptuous trapazoids

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:34 (eight years ago) link

l-r:Armond, what he thinks lesbians are into

Love, Wilco (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:39 (eight years ago) link

l-r: Goldblum, people who think Armond can possibly be represented by Goldblum

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:47 (eight years ago) link

I don't mind if you don't like my manners, I don't like them myself. They are pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 21:01 (eight years ago) link

You're not going to go around poking at this thread and threatening to leave it again, are you?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 21:08 (eight years ago) link

dinosaurs are awesome, what kind of miserable life-hating person doesn't like dinosaurs

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 22:11 (eight years ago) link

TBQH i'm not sure what morbius likes, other than a few old films and steven spielberg.

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 22:16 (eight years ago) link

and ILX, though he'd never admit it

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 22:16 (eight years ago) link

btw i'm kind of waiting for some GOP candidate to attack "jurassic world" b/c evolution

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 22:19 (eight years ago) link

nothing in the reviews makes it sound like this franchise has evolved

da croupier, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 23:23 (eight years ago) link

chris pratt has bigger biceps than jeff goldblum

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 23:32 (eight years ago) link

well, there are members of the audience who don't believe in evolution so it's appropriate.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 23:38 (eight years ago) link

The hero of the movie says, in reference to 65 million years of evolution, "maybe progress should lose for once."

*cough* gay marriage *cough*

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Thursday, 11 June 2015 00:22 (eight years ago) link

dr morbius is...

tenacious

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 11 June 2015 03:42 (eight years ago) link

saluting Armond for recognizing George O'Brien as the reigning himbo of the late silents.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 June 2015 15:03 (eight years ago) link

hi there!

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 11 June 2015 16:07 (eight years ago) link

george o'brien was stunning. and he had a great, goofy smile.

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Thursday, 11 June 2015 21:34 (eight years ago) link

http://www.bestmoviesbyfarr.com/static-assets/images/articles/background/2014/09/2-wkquzx.jpg

(and he grew into a great character actor, too, which i imagine those who knew his work in the 1920s would never have guessed he would.)

he quipped with heat (amateurist), Thursday, 11 June 2015 21:36 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

So, is name-checking Matthew Rush in his reviews Armond's new thing?

http://www.out.com/armond-white/2015/7/15/trainwrecks-homophobia-puts-john-cena-headlock

The New Gay Sadness (cryptosicko), Friday, 17 July 2015 02:31 (eight years ago) link

I'm on board.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:14 (eight years ago) link

Armond you crazy dick-sucker you.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:15 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

Spielberg has lost the native all-American exuberance that made the atomic-bomb/refrigerator exploit in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull so wondrous. Here, he mocks “duck-and-cover” Cold War training films, the public-school Pledge of Allegiance, and even Donovan’s “Big American breakfast” as part of obsolete cultural foolishness that deserves noir cynicism. This is pop art at its most disingenuous.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Friday, 16 October 2015 21:34 (eight years ago) link

And armond knows disingenuous

da croupier, Friday, 16 October 2015 21:38 (eight years ago) link

Funnier still is how Armond, who frequently decries Tarantino's sadism, delights in watching (coded) Occupy-ers being mutilated and eaten.

Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Saturday, 17 October 2015 17:54 (eight years ago) link

Missed that gem.

Norse Jung (Eric H.), Saturday, 17 October 2015 19:35 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

should I?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 7 November 2015 18:39 (eight years ago) link

Spotlight’s crusading journalists and activists are played by a cast of actors you can no longer trust: Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Mark Ruffalo, and Stanley Tucci carry disingenuousness in their make-up kits, each one dragging the shadows of so many earlier untenable movies.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 7 November 2015 18:41 (eight years ago) link

(No wonder critics derided McCarthy’s Adam Sandler film, The Cobbler; its vision of multi-ethnic connection was as wondrous and unillusioned as Brooklyn.)

El Tomboto, Saturday, 7 November 2015 18:48 (eight years ago) link

His criticisms of movies about crusading journalists - and the way movies turn victims into a faceless mass, unless one of them has a cute kid - are valid.

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Saturday, 7 November 2015 19:39 (eight years ago) link

not really. name some.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 7 November 2015 19:49 (eight years ago) link

Absence of Malice? and that crappy remake set in DC w/ Russell Crowe

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 7 November 2015 19:58 (eight years ago) link

forget the first one, Paul Newman is the oppressed victim in that

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 7 November 2015 20:00 (eight years ago) link

State of Play?

El Tomboto, Saturday, 7 November 2015 20:12 (eight years ago) link

right

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 7 November 2015 20:33 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

Armond on the 12 best gay flicks of 2015

I've seen Eastern Boys and Girlhood. Have Tangerine on hold at the library. Anyone care to endorse or warn me away from any of the others?

Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 04:24 (eight years ago) link

Love at First Fight is pretty good, but funny to see it on this list. Adele Hanael is very good in it, but I thought a big problem was that she wasn't allowed to be 'queer' enough. It became more gender-stereotypical as it went along for me.
The New Girlfriend is pretty good Ozon, much better than Young & Beautiful, but not the campy awesomeness of Potiche.
Tangerine is the best American film of the year.
Duke of Burgundy I like less than most people, apparently, but I don't think it's as weird as it should be, not as good as Berberian Sound Studio, and while I think Sidste Babett Knudsen's accent is meant to signify continental decadent coolness, it sounds too familiarly Danish to me. But that's my problem.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 5 January 2016 11:20 (eight years ago) link

Appropriate Behavior is very funny. Gerontophilia mostly isn't. I don't remember anything gay about the Techine film, but it's a weak one.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 12:25 (eight years ago) link

Love at First Fight and Appropriate Behaviour both added to my watchlist. Thanks, guys!

Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 14:54 (eight years ago) link

Appropriate Behaviour will be on my list of the year's best.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 14:58 (eight years ago) link

do not spell britishly

i need to go to the brix & mortar store and rent Duke of Burgundy

anyway, Armond was on target recently about Creed and Carol.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 15:24 (eight years ago) link

this is his most decent list since whenever

I didn't care much for Duke of Burgundy: a movie with butterflies, cabinets, and scrub brushes should have put them to more creative use.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 15:25 (eight years ago) link

Anyone care to endorse or warn me away from any of the others?

― Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko),

fully endorse The New Girlfriend – about time a gender comedy had a funny bone.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 15:26 (eight years ago) link

On the watchlist it goes! I was hesitant after Young and Beautiful did nothing for me, but your endorsement sounds promising.

Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 15:32 (eight years ago) link

Think you really do have to have some kind of sympathy or taste for Rollin, Franco etc to get the most out of Duke of Burgundy, but I found it to be a much funnier film than The New Girlfriend, which for me sat rather uneasily between being a comedy of manners and something a little darker (ie like Almodovar's superior The Skin I Live In).

Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Tuesday, 5 January 2016 15:37 (eight years ago) link

The Green Inferno and Knock Knock > Mad Max: Fury Road Eli Roth’s two-fer made him the year’s wittiest political filmmaker, reviving low-grade genres as social satire — the opposite of George Miller’s craven, violent, utterly mindless spectacular.

sure, guy

nomar, Friday, 8 January 2016 20:27 (eight years ago) link

lol @ implying that eli roth is not craven or violent

Οὖτις, Friday, 8 January 2016 20:28 (eight years ago) link

What a tragedy it is that Armond has lost Spielberg.

"Damn the Taquitos" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 8 January 2016 20:44 (eight years ago) link

also smdh at the idea of horror as a "lower-grade" genre than the action film

the naive cockney chorus (Simon H.), Friday, 8 January 2016 21:13 (eight years ago) link

Ok, Armond (and Morbs, and Alfred) totally OTM re: Appropriate Behavior. Desiree Akhaven would be my pick for the Performance of the Year if I saw enough new movies for that to mean anything.

Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 12 January 2016 16:49 (eight years ago) link

it had been so long since i saw a comedy where i was laughing once a minute, which is true for most of AB.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 12 January 2016 16:51 (eight years ago) link

huh hadn't heard of it before, sounds promising

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 12 January 2016 16:55 (eight years ago) link

In 13 Hours, these living breathing G.I. Joes are more than just politically correct, they’re also anatomically correct dolls.

nomar, Friday, 15 January 2016 15:47 (eight years ago) link

that might be my favorite Armond review yet

Οὖτις, Saturday, 16 January 2016 00:08 (eight years ago) link

"government-issued sexiness"

Οὖτις, Saturday, 16 January 2016 00:08 (eight years ago) link

if that ran on national review's site the response would be "interesting"

nomar, Saturday, 16 January 2016 00:11 (eight years ago) link

Zac Efron gives Armond a boner

pitchforkian at best (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 13:48 (eight years ago) link

The fun of sex is the entire point of the raunchy, goofy Dirty Grandpa. You have to be humorless (and sex-averse) to be offended by its deliberate naughtiness as so many critics have demonstrated. Director Dan Mazer and screenwriter John Phillips are in the long, if disreputable, tradition of porn meisters whose vulgarity opens the way for gay identification and solidarity. Dermot Mulroney, in a small role as Zac’s father, acknowledges fans of his sensual profile (that phallic proboscis) in a skit where he is tattooed with penis graffito. His punchline: “Let me get these cocks off my face.”

nomar, Wednesday, 27 January 2016 15:56 (eight years ago) link

oh man, Dermot and Zac as dad/son, impure as it gets.

AW has p unimpeachable taste in film beefcake.

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 15:59 (eight years ago) link

that phallic proboscis.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 16:29 (eight years ago) link

I won't click on it yet but, yeah, that sequence was sexy.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 4 February 2016 17:26 (eight years ago) link

as good as anything I saw in the Magic Mikes

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 4 February 2016 17:26 (eight years ago) link

(Too bad the song itself lacks the naughtiness of Seth MacFarlane’s gay jokes on Family Guy.)

the line must be drawn here

nomar, Thursday, 4 February 2016 18:40 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

he probably really wanted to fuck the CGI monster

Neanderthal, Monday, 28 March 2016 04:20 (eight years ago) link

eight months pass...

Armond defends Last Tango in Paris as only Armond can

In 2016, Jeanne’s privilege has become an onerous political tool, favored by the new cultural fascists. Accusations of rape and male aggression have become routine in attacks on masculinity and patriarchy that criminalize everyone from Thomas Jefferson to Bill Cosby and now Bertolucci and Brando.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Thursday, 8 December 2016 15:16 (seven years ago) link

Creep.

schwantz, Friday, 9 December 2016 01:37 (seven years ago) link

It's predictable that this is where his escalating insanity would lead.

Treeship, Friday, 9 December 2016 01:39 (seven years ago) link

God forbid we criminalize rapists.

schwantz, Friday, 9 December 2016 01:43 (seven years ago) link

"that die-hard hetero pimp Ingmar Bergman"

a full playlist of presidential apocalypse jams (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 9 December 2016 02:06 (seven years ago) link

few things make me more angry than the first paragraph of this piece.

one paragraph after calling people idiots, he makes the inductive leap that because Schneider agreed to be in the film, she agreed to the improvised sex act in question and hey what's a little sexual assault when it led to a movie that's so important, guys!

Neanderthal, Friday, 9 December 2016 02:08 (seven years ago) link

"it was simulated, therefore it can't be sexual assault!", thanks for clearing that up dude.

Neanderthal, Friday, 9 December 2016 02:09 (seven years ago) link

(Hollywood’s casting couch continues to exploit men, women, and children.)

Disappointed this sentence doesn't continue with the words, "as explored on Jason Reitman's masterpiece of the same name."

The film was rated X for a reason now lost to our craven film culture—Last Tango is cautionary, not a movie for children or for childish adults.

It was rated X for the same reason a lot of films got that rating--because there's a lot of graphic nudity and sex (and a rape scene) in it.

a full playlist of presidential apocalypse jams (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 9 December 2016 02:19 (seven years ago) link

naw man, it was the scary, alternative ideas!

Neanderthal, Friday, 9 December 2016 02:22 (seven years ago) link

In fairness, I'm with him on the infantalization of film culture, by as usual, any time Armand seems to be headed somewhere thoughtful or reasonable, he blows it. Citing a serial rapist as a victim of PC thuggery is just the most extreme possible example.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Friday, 9 December 2016 02:25 (seven years ago) link

if someone makes a movie about Patty Hearst, we can look forward to "Patty wasn't abducted by the Symbionese Liberation Army. She was freed."

Neanderthal, Friday, 9 December 2016 02:25 (seven years ago) link

"She was freed; it is the hateful weaponization of politics, epitomized by today's so-called 'feminists,' that have turned a story off personal liberty that Jefferson would have recognized into a symbol of liberal servitude."

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 9 December 2016 02:32 (seven years ago) link

omg

Neanderthal, Friday, 9 December 2016 02:32 (seven years ago) link

Now I'm curious if he reviewed Paul Schrader's Patty Hearst (which I haven't seen, but which feels like a potentially interesting combination of director and subject).

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 9 December 2016 06:42 (seven years ago) link

he made this mention of it...

"he method resembles Paul Schrader's tabloid spiritualism in Hardcore, American Gigolo and especially Patty Hearst, which veered off into lonely psychosis (and some critics prefer that detachment from realities of class and sex competition)."

Neanderthal, Friday, 9 December 2016 07:02 (seven years ago) link

This Out-National Review twin beat is amazing:

http://www.out.com/armond-white/2016/12/09/la-la-land-not-gay-enough

Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Friday, 9 December 2016 17:54 (seven years ago) link

Note to Gosling fans: Your erection does not translate as charmed.)

is this even semantically correct?

When Mia and Sebastian sing and dance, they’re never melodious or graceful; they’re craven careerists and they hoof like amateurs.

Yes to the second point, but what about them, their hoofing, or amelodiousness translates as craven or careerist?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 9 December 2016 17:58 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/445206/jordan-peeles-get-out-trite-get-whitey-movie

Get Out does not rank with America’s notable race comedies — Brian De Palma’s Hi, Mom!, Ossie Davis’s Gone Are the Days! (Purlie Victorious), Robert Downey Sr.’s Putney Swope, Melvin Van Peebles’s Sweet Sweetback, Hal Ashby’s The Landlord, Rusty Cundieff’s Fear of a Black Hat, Skin Game or any of the genre spoofs by the Wayans family, particularly the ingenious Little Man, or the recent Eddie Murphy films (The Klumps, Norbit, Meet Dave, A Thousand Words) that are so personal and ingenious, they transcend racial categorization.

But unlike Eddie Murphy, a masterful actor with a mature sense of humor, Peele fails because has not created credible characters.

da croupier, Friday, 24 February 2017 18:57 (seven years ago) link

Get Out was actually awesome

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Friday, 24 February 2017 18:59 (seven years ago) link

arguably even more 0___0 than his endless adjectives for '00s eddie murphy

Get Out is an attenuated comedy sketch in which serious concerns are debased. Pushing buttons that alarm blacks yet charm white liberals, Peele manipulates the Trayvon Martin myth the same way Obama himself did when he pandered by saying, “Trayvon Martin could have been my son.” That disingenuous tease is extended in Peele’s casting of Daniel Kaluuya. Son of Ugandan parents, the handsome, round-faced, British-born actor triggers sympathy (he has the young, clean-cut buppie co-ed look that brothers Branford and Wynton Marsalis rocked in the ’80s).

But Kaluuya’s strongest historical associations must come from Peele’s subconscious: The actor’s dark-skin/bright-teeth image inadvertently recalls the old Sambo archetype. Kaluuya frequently goes from sleepy-eyed stress to bug-eyed fright. Surely Spike Lee would have recognized the resemblance to Stepin Fetchit, Mantan Moreland, and Willie Best, the infamous comics who made their living performing Negro caricatures during Hollywood’s era of segregation. Peele seems too caught up in exploiting modern narcissism to notice old repulsion. Sambo lives matter. Question: Will Kaluuya’s wild-eyed consternation be equated with James Baldwin’s bug-eye perspicacity in I Am Not Your Negro?

da croupier, Friday, 24 February 2017 19:02 (seven years ago) link

... Wow

Heavy Doors (jed_), Saturday, 25 February 2017 11:25 (seven years ago) link

Answer?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 25 February 2017 12:03 (seven years ago) link

@NickPinkerton
Realize that the problem with Armond has nothing to do with his politics and everything to do with his calling Naruse "minor" in 2010.

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 1 March 2017 15:32 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

Armond White, who some will remember as the 90s/00s magnificently trolly film critic of the New York Press, has gone FULL alt-right pic.twitter.com/1z2P92cHoe

— Joe Bernstein (@Bernstein) May 31, 2017

na (NA), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 14:54 (six years ago) link

these hastily thrown together screenshots from various tweets with no context given certainly make this a open shut case

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 22:45 (six years ago) link

oh come the fuck on

-_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 22:52 (six years ago) link

tho it's not even remotely surprising that white is an alt-righter

-_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 22:53 (six years ago) link

i mean literally the first review in this thread is titled "film of the fascist liberal"

-_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 22:53 (six years ago) link

i agree w you 100%. just making fun of a tweet of a collage of screenshots of tweets. screenshot that review and post it next to some damning icons.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 31 May 2017 23:06 (six years ago) link

i thought Michael Moore was gen held in contempt around here

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 1 June 2017 01:00 (six years ago) link

Better pundit than filmmaker

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 1 June 2017 01:15 (six years ago) link

i never get tired of opening up this thread and stumbling on this line:

As Kevin Costner worried in JFK, we are indeed through the looking glass now.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 1 June 2017 01:19 (six years ago) link

fuck yeah!

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 1 June 2017 01:20 (six years ago) link

I, like most Americans, refuse to participate in La La Land.

— armond white (@3xchair) June 4, 2017

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 14:24 (six years ago) link

Here's to the dreamers.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 14:27 (six years ago) link

* Armond runs to pay phone to call ICE *

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 14:35 (six years ago) link

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (2222 of them)

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 14:40 (six years ago) link

Also, certain now that all the books he's tease as "coming soon" over the last decade-plus of this thread will never see the light of day.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 17:41 (six years ago) link

how many non-complilation books has he authored? just the Tupac?

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:02 (six years ago) link

god Armond "ruining" the 100% Rotten Tomatoes score for Get Out is still so fucking funny to me, such a classic Armond move

flappy bird, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:12 (six years ago) link

That seems to be the only one, yes.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:12 (six years ago) link

alas my two friends who thought Get Out sucked are not critics.

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:14 (six years ago) link

Ned's reaction to that review is also amazing:

White wrote of Peele’s film: “‘Get Out’ does not rank with America’s notable race comedies — Brian De Palma’s ‘Hi, Mom!’, Ossie Davis’s ‘Gone Are the Days! (Purlie Victorious)’, Robert Downey Sr.’s ‘Putney Swope,’ Melvin Van Peebles’s ‘Sweet Sweetback’, Hal Ashby’s ‘The Landlord,’ Rusty Cundieff’s ‘Fear of a Black Hat,’ or any of the genre spoofs by the Wayans family, … or the recent Eddie Murphy films that are so personal and ingenious, they transcend racial categorization.”

Still taking this in.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, February 28, 2017 6:51 PM (three months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

flappy bird, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:14 (six years ago) link

Ned, still taking it in?

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:16 (six years ago) link

he had me through The Landlord, at the v minimum

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:17 (six years ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_with_a_100%25_rating_on_Rotten_Tomatoes

The list of movies Armond hasn't "ruined" on RT is pretty long tbh.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:17 (six years ago) link

the personal and ingenious movies of Griffith, they transcend racial categorizatoin.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:18 (six years ago) link

24: Redemption

nomar, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:18 (six years ago) link

Eddie Murphy has recent films?

jmm, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:20 (six years ago) link

Ned, still taking it in?

I've moved towards taking it on board.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:20 (six years ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truman_(2015_film)

57 positive reviews?!

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:21 (six years ago) link

I'm more sick of Rotten Tomatoes than I am of Armond.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:21 (six years ago) link

xpost Perhaps that should have been called Julian's Complicated Situation.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:22 (six years ago) link

I've never used it.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:23 (six years ago) link

I prefer meat critic.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:23 (six years ago) link

I don't either, but it has a certain cultural ubiquity that I finally noticed last semester when some of my students were discussing some movie or another (Get Out? La La Land?) and contrasting their reactions towards the RT score.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:24 (six years ago) link

reactions towards against the RT score

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 18:25 (six years ago) link

the tomato has become totally ubiquitous, shows up whenever you google a movie, listed right next to the running time. i use the Flixster app and that fuckin tomato is always right there. in a way it's cool because shit blockbusters like Baywatch and Pirates 800 or whatever wither on the vine, but their whole process of determining how to categorize middling reviews as positive or negative seems fishy.

flappy bird, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 19:10 (six years ago) link

wither on the vine

I see what you did

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 19:19 (six years ago) link

lol damn that was unintentional

flappy bird, Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:35 (six years ago) link

i saw Pirates at a drive in a few weeks ago and had a blast, fuck the tomatoes

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 6 June 2017 21:45 (six years ago) link

i read that as meaning the Polanski film w/ Matthau

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 00:38 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

All I have left to look forward to is Armond's Detroit review.

— NOT RECONCILED (@NickPinkerton) July 30, 2017

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:31 (six years ago) link

hell yea

flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:05 (six years ago) link

By his standards, this is actually a somewhat tempered take.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Friday, 4 August 2017 15:21 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

It's official. His first NRO post that isn't a review:

Now, after the mess of Charlottesville and the mainstream media’s deliberate misreading of White House statements, these czars have uncustomarily succumbed to show-business, art-world, and theater-bubble peer pressure. Peer pressure is an undeniable part of the arts-panel experience — as it is also evidence of millennial virtue-posturing.

"deliberate misreading"

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 19 August 2017 20:05 (six years ago) link

wow

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/450637/nea-resignations-good-riddance

Refute the Obama revolution that “transformed” America into an elitist state of empowered celebrities. It had filled the government with uncompromising progressives — wealthy ones at that — who would rather see the system collapse than compromise their egotism. Let freeloader grant applicants squirm, or let Hollywood, Broadway and the mainstream media — our new czars — get off the government tit and totally fund themselves.

As an ilxor, I am uncompromising (El Tomboto), Saturday, 19 August 2017 20:27 (six years ago) link

On the fall of Armond

http://hazlitt.net/feature/critical-failure

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 20 August 2017 01:39 (six years ago) link

Good read, thanks

As an ilxor, I am uncompromising (El Tomboto), Sunday, 20 August 2017 03:06 (six years ago) link

Level headed in every way. The diametric opposite to Armond today.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Sunday, 20 August 2017 18:00 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

Q&A with James Toback smartest, most honest director in America. https://t.co/f9GWEiPVSE

— armond white (@3xchair) October 23, 2017

mookieproof, Monday, 23 October 2017 21:26 (six years ago) link

armond white is what happens when you're a creep to those around you and subsequently rejected and forgotten, i.e. the perfect mark for the alt-right.

nomar, Tuesday, 24 October 2017 03:33 (six years ago) link

excellent point.

Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 03:58 (six years ago) link

well that's why he revived a 17-year-old interview.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 11:23 (six years ago) link

There might be a perceptive, level-headed critic out there who can cogently make the argument that a filmmaker can be a great artist AND still be a sexual predator. But Armond isn't that critic, and Toback isn't that filmmaker.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 12:37 (six years ago) link

I think Armond could, but Toback no fucking way

flappy bird, Tuesday, 24 October 2017 16:41 (six years ago) link

Armond's timing and wording dare you not to assume that being a great filmmaker and being a sexual predator go hand-in-hand.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 16:46 (six years ago) link

Armond White can't, because his entire POV is untrustworthy, it's a reaction to the people who rejected him for being a creep. sorry you can't call female film critics cunts anymore, Armond!

he follows 17 twitter accounts, and he's probably the only guy on Twitter who follows Saint Etienne, Bryan Ferry, Curt Schilling, Mike Cernovich, *and* Scott Adams.

nomar, Tuesday, 24 October 2017 17:45 (six years ago) link

he's been pathetic his entire career but now it's almost a tragedy. i suspect he's deeply unwell.

nomar, Tuesday, 24 October 2017 17:45 (six years ago) link

he follows 17 twitter accounts

No, but he does check his @'s religiously.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 17:53 (six years ago) link

AW used to do a good annual music-video review show at Lincoln Center earlier in the century, before he lost his mind.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 18:12 (six years ago) link

I liked him as a music critic.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 18:20 (six years ago) link

I even liked him as a film critic for a time.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 18:44 (six years ago) link

Now I only like him as a cautionary tale.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 18:44 (six years ago) link

An oasis of civilization in the California desert

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 19:03 (six years ago) link

Some of those music video review thingys used to be (are?) up on YouTube in poor quality recordings. I watched enough of them that I'm convinced they were his best work.

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 24 October 2017 19:04 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I called this one:

A few years back, as chairman of the New York Film Critics Circle, I hosted a criticism panel at Columbia University and was bemused when one participant from a national weekly entertainment magazine, insisted that his “reviews are not political!” It’s demonstrable that most movie critics, like most journalists, work under an unacknowledged left bias. I was reminded of this again yesterday when a conglomerate of the Los Angeles Film Critics Association, the New York Film Critics Circle, Boston Society of Film Critics, and the National Society of Film Critics all rounded their wagons, moving to disqualify Disney films from the groups’ upcoming awards consideration, subsequent to a feud — over a news article the L.A. Times wrote about Disneyland — in which the corporation refused to invite the paper’s critic to a movie screening.

Reviewers who normally resist writing political analyses of films, even when praising movies that are blatantly partisan, now presume to form a united front by issuing the quasi-political statement that Disney’s interdiction was “antithetical to the principles of a free press and set a dangerous precedent in a time of already heightened hostility towards journalists. . . . [This] should gravely concern all who believe in the importance of a free press, artists included.”

But this is delusional. It is the typical liberal “free press” blather followed by punitive action. Involvement in an individual business dispute diminishes the idea of journalistic solidarity unless there’s recognition that Disney exercised a legitimate right to choose its audience for film previews—even to withhold advertising to whatever media outlet it chooses. Ignoring the business facts of the matter to pretend this is a First Amendment issue exposes the critics’ hypocrisy.

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/corner

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 19:03 (six years ago) link

Disney exercised a legitimate right to choose its audience for film previews—even to withhold advertising to whatever media outlet it chooses

Would that Disney decided to stop advertising their shitty product.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 19:18 (six years ago) link

This one slipped by me ... http://www.nationalreview.com/article/453744/charles-burnett-academy-award

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Friday, 17 November 2017 13:47 (six years ago) link

https://www.out.com/armond-white/2017/11/30/call-me-your-names-sex-lives-rich-and-immodest

I don't regard this as actually from the maniacal side of things, but certain to raise hackles.

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:28 (six years ago) link

fabulous url

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:30 (six years ago) link

what, NRO wouldn't publish it?

Also:

nstead of powerfully exploring gay passion as in this year’s Paris: O5:59 and God’s Own Country, Guadagino’s movie is regressive. It harkens back to a pre-Stonewall sensibility in which closeted emotions are inflated due to an out-dated, introverted and mostly inept sensibility.

Did he watch the scene where Elio grabs Oliver's balls, or, like, the whole movie? Elio hides the crush from no one, himself least of all.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:32 (six years ago) link

I don't disagree that Paris and God's were more unbridled tho. But that's certainly not the ONLY measure by which films about gay romance should be judged.

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link

I have never used a bridle.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:35 (six years ago) link

You're missing out.

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:44 (six years ago) link

Seven Bridles for Seven Brothers.

Dan Worsley, Thursday, 30 November 2017 17:55 (six years ago) link

i’m bridling at this offtopic horseplay

hi i’m darren and i’m a bouncer from bendigo (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 30 November 2017 18:00 (six years ago) link

Jump in the saddle, hold on to the bridle

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 November 2017 18:03 (six years ago) link

Armond writes regularly for Out as well as Soto's favorite t.p.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 November 2017 18:05 (six years ago) link

God's Own Country is quite bridled

Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Thursday, 30 November 2017 21:51 (six years ago) link

It's beautifully bridled.

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Thursday, 30 November 2017 21:55 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

fucking moron of course backtracks on Lady Bird once other people loved it as well, the same as he did with The Hurt Locker.

omar little, Friday, 5 January 2018 22:46 (six years ago) link

hipsterism run amok.

hipster decadence.

without appreciating its coup de grâce rebuke of hipsterism

it's always worth control-f-ing hipsterism with Armand, it seems. I'm probably a bad person, but I do occasionally agree with him about some widely liked movies - but don't like to talk about it. But Jesus wept "Edgar Wright’s autism action film" - stfu man!

calzino, Friday, 5 January 2018 23:13 (six years ago) link

Sentence most in need of an editor: “Plain, neo-realist beauty exposes the useless, cynical sanctimony of three ahistorical, sanctimonious, paranoid fantasies.”

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Friday, 5 January 2018 23:25 (six years ago) link

But Jesus wept "Edgar Wright’s autism action film" - stfu man!

Can I confess that I had no idea wtf he was talking about here? So, Baby was autistic? Or Wright is somehow crafting an "autistic" style of filmmaking (whatever that means)? Seriously, what the hell is he talking about?

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Friday, 5 January 2018 23:51 (six years ago) link

I actually agree with about half of his review of The Post.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 6 January 2018 00:10 (six years ago) link

I'm probably a bad person, but I do occasionally agree with him

oh come on
armond is great
(imo)
agreeing with a controversial critic does not make anyone a "bad person." i'm sick of that leap people make with controversial people.

flappy bird, Saturday, 6 January 2018 00:14 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWg1CGJXkAAoS99.jpg

na (NA), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:32 (six years ago) link

oh god just heard about his latest. Look I love when he's a mischievous pill when he's writing about movies, but this kinda shit is disgusting

flappy bird, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:39 (six years ago) link

It's ... admirable isn't the word for it, but it's something how many deeper ends he finds to go off of this late in the game.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:45 (six years ago) link

this is just boring though, like i don't go to armond for warmed over right wing talking points i could get from literally thousands of people on twitter, i go to him for shit like "the recent Eddie Murphy films that are so personal and ingenious, they transcend racial categorization.”

flappy bird, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:50 (six years ago) link

AW will be cohosting a podcast w/ Ted Nugent shortly

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:05 (six years ago) link

when you're an irredeemable asshole that everyone in your previous scene despises because you're an asshole, sometimes you run into the everlasting arms of the right-wing. they'll take any piece of shit they can use against the left.

omar little, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:15 (six years ago) link

The last straw. Never reading his shit again, not even for amusement. Fuck him forever.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:18 (six years ago) link

and he published worse Tweets about the students than the one posted here

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:37 (six years ago) link

the thing about this piece of shit is even his film crit has been full of this stuff the entire time. bubbling under the surface, but there. ascribing the worst motives to those who are different, or hold different opinions. falsifying their positions. positioning himself at odds with everyone. his entire career and at this point his life really is a tragedy. his voice was potentially important, but since everything he's ever said has been afaict disingenuous there's no point in even engaging with his work. basically cryptosicko otm.

omar little, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 21:07 (six years ago) link

He really was not this way when I started reading him ('97), at least to this degree. I don't think he did at the City Sun (a black-interest weekly in NYC) either, where he was arts editor '84-96.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 21:14 (six years ago) link

i remember him being surly back in '99-'00, but i think around the time this thread started he began to go off the rails considerably.

omar little, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 21:19 (six years ago) link

I emailed OUT earlier today asking if they were aware of his recent tweets, and if this would have any effect on his future there. Just got an email back saying that they had received numerous complaints, and while they believe in allowing a broad range of opinions on their site, Armond's column had been terminated for "budgetary reasons."

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 22:35 (six years ago) link

Can’t wait to see how he’ll spin that. Oh wait, that’s like his entire work history since 2004.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 22:40 (six years ago) link

when you're an irredeemable asshole that everyone in your previous scene despises because you're an asshole, sometimes you run into the everlasting arms of the right-wing. they'll take any piece of shit they can use against the left.

― omar little, Wednesday, February 21, 2018 12:15 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so fucking true

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 22:43 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Armond mostly otm on The Man Who Came to Dinner

https://www.out.com/armond-white/2018/2/27/seminal-gay-film-man-who-came-dinner-originates-art-shade

Might be one of his last things for OUT; I'm seeing on Twitter they sacked him over the Parkland shit. Can't verify.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:34 (six years ago) link

It's discussed upthread. They claim he was dropped due to "budgetary reasons".

...some of y'all too woke to function (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:51 (six years ago) link

"We lack enough patience in our reserves to keep you employed any longer."

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:59 (six years ago) link

I checked with someone who works there and they said they had no knowledge that he'd been terminated, so.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Monday, 12 March 2018 22:41 (six years ago) link

I have the email from OUT saying that they weren't running his column anymore.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Monday, 12 March 2018 23:18 (six years ago) link

nine months pass...

We're done now

Photoshop can be problematic. But it can also make great agit-prop. Thanks Gary L. Oliver. @greggutfeld @frankrichny @LakeGregory pic.twitter.com/EULbKW40xR

— armond white (@3xchair) January 11, 2019

forrest drumpf (Eric H.), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:02 (five years ago) link

His work is now impossible to read. Whenever I click a national review link, which isn’t often, I get a pop up a out being the millionth visitor click here to redeem your free ipad

Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:07 (five years ago) link

His work is now impossible to read. Whenever I click a national review link, which isn’t often, I get a pop up a out being the millionth visitor click here to redeem your free ipad

Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:07 (five years ago) link

Sorry for the duplicate

Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:07 (five years ago) link

You're The One Millionth ILX Double Poster! You Win An iPad!

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:13 (five years ago) link

Armond's description of this as "great agit-prop" goes a long way towards explaining his taste in movies.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:56 (five years ago) link

this shit bums me out because his reviews are so insane and often inscrutable in a really beautiful way, when he's sharing right-wing boomer memes it's so boring.

flappy bird, Friday, 11 January 2019 04:19 (five years ago) link

four months pass...

To trust that we know the difference between fantasy and reality isn’t the same as desensitizing us to violence, not the same as the green-tinted Desert Storm bombing newscasts of the early Nineties that became the template for video games. Those extracted human life; Stahelski and Reeves abstract it. By the late Nineties, in the green-tinted The Matrix, the Wachowski sibling directors dished up postmodern rationales for dehumanization, but the green-tinted hotel-lobby shoot-out in Parabellum dispenses with excuses. The violent game is honestly understood as a game. At a time when a Trump-hating transsexual commits school shootings that trigger a coverup from moralizing phonies, the gun-control argument continues, but moviegoers can use the clear-headed catharsis provided by Parabellum’s comic understanding about the use of self-protective force. The certain popularity of John Wick 3: Parabellum is the strongest repudiation of political correctness imaginable.

omar little, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:19 (four years ago) link

Fuck him forever.

zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Friday, 17 May 2019 17:20 (four years ago) link

dude was always extremely vile and his opinions always extremely basic college-paper level contrarianism, but he certainly has turned it into a depressingly long series of gigs

omar little, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:26 (four years ago) link

what shooting is he talking about

flappy bird, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link

i believe he's talking about the Highlands Ranch shooting near Denver

omar little, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:31 (four years ago) link

Brace yourselves

Keanu's #JohnWick Parabellum joins a great tradition against political correctness--like Lillian Gish in Night of the Hunter. https://t.co/0JgDTqDXTE #2AmendmentFilmFestivaal pic.twitter.com/BxcxyUMQKG

— armond white (@3xchair) May 18, 2019

flappy bird, Sunday, 19 May 2019 05:14 (four years ago) link

Festivaal

zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Monday, 20 May 2019 13:51 (four years ago) link

the beauty of his work is there's no need to click through -- we can derive enough eye-rolling and laughs from that lede without reading a word of the actual review while understanding how bad it'd be

mh, Monday, 20 May 2019 14:49 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/the-lion-king-2019/

Disney’s blatant cultural agenda explains the disaster of The Lion King. We can clarify the film’s deception by highlighting its production-purchase cycle and recognizing the unmistakable — not coincidental — political objectives of the filmmakers. This is how it works. It’s a Dishonor Roll:

Jon Favreau (Director): After turning Marvel’s Iron Man to visual dung, he is now Disney’s fake-reality hack and is key to understanding how this digitally rejiggered Lion King (like Favreau’s Jungle Book) continues the con job of Marvel’s Black Panther. Favreau’s unnamed African veldt might as well be New Wakanda.

Donald Glover (Simba): His dubious street cred as rapper Childish Gambino distorts the film’s bildungsroman concept, as he sells a CGI version of his ghetto-pathology TV series Atlanta.

Chiwetel Ejiofore (Scar): Evokes the grim horror he endured in 12 Years a Slave by voicing the mangy usurper — no longer Jeremy Irons’s effete, gayish, villain of 1994.

John Oliver (Zazu): HBO’s political “comic” becomes the herald of Pride Rock; he controls the film’s narrative.

James Earl Jones (Mufasa): The one 1994 veteran repeats his original role as Simba’s father, adding sonorous Darth Vader cred.

Alfre Woodard (Sarabi): The dotty house wench in 12 Years a Slave becomes Mufasa’s mate, Queen of the Pride Lands, and Simba’s mother. Progress?

Keegan-Michael Key (Kamari) and Eric André (Azizi): These peanut-gallery TV comics serve as Scar’s Spotted Hyenas henchmen, Antifa-in-waiting.

Seth Rogen (Pumbaa): Channels his dirtbag shtick into the warthog who sings the “no worries” theme song “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy.

Billy Eichner (Timon): TV’s harassment comic, cast as the meerkat, harmonizing on “Hakuna Matata” about life as “a meaningless line of indifference” without irony.

Beyoncé Knowles-Carter (Nala): Not just Simba’s love interest but the era’s leading purveyor of Afrocentric kitsch. As the film’s cultural linchpin, she accuses Simba, “You don’t even know who you are!” Her rhythmic diction on “You’re not the Simba I remember” is pure Destiny’s Child. And during the live-action uprising, her call “Are you with me, lions!” awakens the Beyhive. It is the Disney corporation’s single most calculated moment since buying the Star Wars franchise.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:26 (four years ago) link

what is "visual dung"

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:26 (four years ago) link

https://i1.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/poop.jpg

mark s, Friday, 19 July 2019 18:28 (four years ago) link

None of this wink-wink inauthenticity was a problem when Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia — respected the moral values in coming-of-age narratives.

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:30 (four years ago) link

does anyone pay this deranged boomer clown for his literary dung anymore?

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:30 (four years ago) link

xpost

You missed the funniest, and most Armond-ish, line:

None of this wink-wink inauthenticity was a problem when Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia — respected the moral values in coming-of-age narratives.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:31 (four years ago) link

These peanut-gallery TV comics serve as Scar’s Spotted Hyenas henchmen, Antifa-in-waiting.

give the fascist narrative of the story, this is likely otm

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 July 2019 18:32 (four years ago) link

Yeah, I realized I'd made an error not clipping the obligatory Snyder lickfest.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:33 (four years ago) link

does anyone pay this deranged boomer clown for his literary dung anymore?

― bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver),

Noted dung peddlers NRO.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:41 (four years ago) link

didn't know armond had a letterboxd, thanks

flappy bird, Friday, 19 July 2019 18:57 (four years ago) link

how much of that dung do lib masochists consume?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 July 2019 19:03 (four years ago) link

Keegan Michael-Key's casting as somehow helping to signify "antifa in waiting" is truly deranged, nicely done

Simon H., Friday, 19 July 2019 19:14 (four years ago) link

character list observations tailor-made for a poll imo

untuned mass damper (mh), Friday, 19 July 2019 20:21 (four years ago) link

I thought so too, but no forum needs 2 AW threads.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 20:23 (four years ago) link

btw I'm pretty sure that letterboxd account is just someone copy/pasting armond's wise words over to that site

untuned mass damper (mh), Friday, 19 July 2019 20:56 (four years ago) link

I'm only about 80 percent certain of that.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 21:30 (four years ago) link

it's linked to his twitter

flappy bird, Friday, 19 July 2019 22:22 (four years ago) link

Beyonce, Queen of Afrocentric kitsch (look it up). Meghan Markle will always be a commoner. https://t.co/rkqblBdRNS @griot @Essence @TheRoot @huffpoblackvoices @Beyonce pic.twitter.com/SPVemlgSmO

— armond white (@3xchair) July 19, 2019

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 22:59 (four years ago) link

Who has to look up "Afrocentric kitsch"?

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 23:00 (four years ago) link

like that the tweet has one like from a brazilian alt-right anime fan

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 19 July 2019 23:08 (four years ago) link

Not a single sentence of that character roll call makes any sense. I love this man so much.


It is the Disney corporation’s single most calculated moment since buying the Star Wars franchise.


Yes it was disappointing how calculated Disney’s purchase of Star Wars was. I wish they’d been more fresh and spontaneous about it.

One Eye Open, Saturday, 20 July 2019 00:40 (four years ago) link

Who has to look up "Afrocentric kitsch"?

― Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, July 19, 2019 7:00 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmfao jesus

flappy bird, Saturday, 20 July 2019 03:51 (four years ago) link

Up to four 'likes'!

frustration and wonky passion (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 20 July 2019 04:09 (four years ago) link

In other Disney/Armond news, he referred to what are very obviously ventriloquist's dummies in Toy Story 4 as "Pee-wee Herman dolls".

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 20 July 2019 04:14 (four years ago) link

it's linked to his twitter

― flappy bird, Friday, July 19, 2019 5:22 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

it’s linked to a typo version

untuned mass damper (mh), Saturday, 20 July 2019 18:23 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/bottom-of-the-9th/

Bottom of the 9th comes to home video this week just as the new movie season begins. This second-chance paradox makes up for the neglect of film critics who failed to give the movie the attention that it deserved when Bottom of the 9th debuted. A rare, affecting baseball film, it’s also an unapologetic, unhip redemption tale — which is to say that the attempt of Sonny Stano (Joe Manganiello) to regain the baseball career he lost because of a youthful indiscretion depicts values that run counter to the behavior currently celebrated in our cynical culture.

Sonny’s predicament — and film critics’ general indifference to it — prove Bottom of the 9th’s special relevance. We see how Sonny, once a promising teenage baseball prospect, served a 20-year conviction for manslaughter, gets released and paroled, and then gradually recovers his love of the game, achieving a more mature sense of self.

Critics could have encouraged social consciousness and enticed viewers by comparing Sonny’s life to the Trump administration’s First Step Prison Reform. They didn’t. Ironically, the Trump bill (HR 6964) and its open-hearted White House signing ceremony received almost as little coverage from the #Resistance media as Bottom of the 9th itself did. But the film’s relevance goes deeper than politics.

It’s bold: a white ethnic story told at a time when Hollywood holds white male experience in low esteem.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 6 September 2019 15:45 (four years ago) link

open-hearted White House signing ceremony

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 September 2019 15:50 (four years ago) link

open-heart WH surgery would get great ratings

baseball movies are almost all nonstarters, but curious that director also made the good civil-rights doc Booker's Place

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 September 2019 15:54 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/annie-hall/

The first brilliant scene in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall (1977) now has Millennial relevance. It’s when grade-schooler Alvy Singer (Allen) and his mother visit psychiatrist Dr. Flicker to find out why the boy stopped doing his homework or anything else. “The universe is expanding,” Alvy explains. His mother snaps “What is that your business!”

Now timeless, the scene should be studied by every pundit and fake-news journalist who promotes recent children’s crusades — including such poster kids as Greta Thunberg and David Hogg — as politically expedient.

(Review is actually mainly about a new movie called Socrates.)

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 16:24 (four years ago) link

People who are interesting in the movies are mostly reading Armond's reviews to see what deranged angle he comes up with, right? I'm sure someone's taking him at face value, but there's no way they're actually interested in film

mh, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 16:28 (four years ago) link

Correct.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 16:29 (four years ago) link

his is a fascinating mind. i wish he would cut the crisis actor shit. his get out review was deranged but also pretty classic

flappy bird, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 16:40 (four years ago) link

pretty sure Woody/Alvy didn't think Mom's take was enlightened

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 16:52 (four years ago) link

I can't even bother to hate-read this fuckface anymore.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:24 (four years ago) link

He's genuinely unbalanced, I kinda feel bad for him.

Forthcoming book will collect long-form pieces by AW, Godfrey Cheshire, and Matt Z Seitz were all regular film critics for the NY Press weekly, and all consistently excellent.

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/617082/the-press-gang-by-godfrey-cheshire/9781609809775

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link

the misogyny was always there, followed shortly by the right-wing move, then came the transphobia. and i don't think he was ever particularly incisive, and anyone reacting strictly based on the prevailing winds of other critics is dishonest. once you get past the trolling, he's been Travers-level for most of the 21st century.

omar little, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:34 (four years ago) link

Armond's reviews make no sense at all unless you know which other critics he's tilting against. He's one of the most literally reactionary critics in art history.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:42 (four years ago) link

I don't recall any overt misogyny in his '90s writing, but I haven't read any in awhile.

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:49 (four years ago) link

Forthcoming book will collect long-form pieces by AW, Godfrey Cheshire, and Matt Z Seitz were all regular film critics for the NY Press weekly, and all consistently excellent.

Oh excellent! Pre-ordered.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:55 (four years ago) link

here's the US book link

https://sevenstories.com/books/4214-the-press-gang

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 25 September 2019 18:02 (four years ago) link

Yeah I can't wait for that book, MZS is still writing & in top form

Armond is fun to read when he actually likes whatever he's reviewing: Intolerance, Nashville, The Image Book, anything by Wong Kar-wai... and I liked his review of the new Tarantino, which as someone said itt or on twitter, reads like a pan but ends with Armond saying it's Tarantino's best ever. Go figure. I'm still obsessed with Ned's reaction itt to Armond's Get Out review.

flappy bird, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 19:22 (four years ago) link

Armond is OTM re: Gaspar Noe

White: He’s a fraud, a deliberate sensationalist. And he’s not serious. So I think his films may be outrageous in terms of violence and sexuality and a pretend social perspective. It’s just all shock, but without the moral conviction of a Surrealist from the 1920s.

Good interview: https://filmmakermagazine.com/archives/issues/winter2004/features/the_critic.php

flappy bird, Thursday, 26 September 2019 16:58 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

weighed in on Marty vs Marvel (and he's got shit to say about both)

Scorsese was reacting against the degradation of cinema’s artistic purpose more than against Hollywood practice itself. That his personal gangster-movie franchise suggests little more than a mob-violence theme-park ride is ironic; the repetitions of Raging Bull, GoodFellas, Casino, and The Departed have contributed to the modern viewer’s reliance on overwrought, impotent machismo and a thirst for irresponsible vicarious thrills. In other words, comic-book movies.

https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/10/martin-scorsese-criticizes-comic-book-movies-defends-humanism/

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Monday, 14 October 2019 21:18 (four years ago) link

The enemy of my enemy of my enemy is still my enemy.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Monday, 14 October 2019 21:19 (four years ago) link

chud brain has made him even more stupid

omar little, Monday, 14 October 2019 22:00 (four years ago) link

Idk I think Armond is kind of otm there, one of the most common refrains on twitter after he dissed Marvel was, "Scorsese only makes one genre of movie anyway." it's a classic controp and doesn't approach the absurdity of a lot of his recent writing.

flappy bird, Tuesday, 15 October 2019 02:18 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

It’s a particular tendency of the privileged Boomer: self-aggrandizement and self-dramatization.

Armond's keeping up with the timely references

mh, Friday, 15 November 2019 15:36 (four years ago) link

OK Armond

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Friday, 15 November 2019 15:43 (four years ago) link

Now Baumbach extends sour reminiscence into further self-centeredness

lol hm, who does that remind me of, cant quite put my finger on it.....

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Friday, 15 November 2019 15:57 (four years ago) link

"his least bad movie"

take a rec when u can get it

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 15 November 2019 17:38 (four years ago) link

Is White going for a slant rhyme?

Xpost

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 November 2019 17:42 (four years ago) link

white's neuroses are as evident as ever

-_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 15 November 2019 17:48 (four years ago) link

on a colleague's wall last night about The Irishman and this article:

Armond White It's Variety--never an unbiased source. Scorsese has lost imagination. No more gangster rehashes. Why can't he go back to Mean Street's half-million $ budget and make movies with originality?

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:01 (four years ago) link

Armond's a uniquely insight-free critic, even for a righty comedy troll

Pinche Cumbion Bien Loco (stevie), Monday, 18 November 2019 23:04 (four years ago) link

Well this is ... not terribly surprising: https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/intolerance-loves-struggle-throughout-the-ages/1/

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Monday, 2 December 2019 14:57 (four years ago) link

I have no idea what any of that is about but the free speech brigade is strong in the comments so I'm guessing... it was not a good discord server

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 15:07 (four years ago) link

I regret to inform you that I searched around a little and this appears to be a screen cap of the banned poster’s bio:


Am I on drugs? What the fuck is going on with this site? pic.twitter.com/A4hXQIPIEM

— Nu Metal Cinema Curator (@mkowzun) May 2, 2019



This entire “I’m a hyper-intellectual with complicated views you don’t get” has apparently infiltrated the film people and not just the weird twitter political trolls

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 15:44 (four years ago) link

What I mean is, color me shocked that the "Arm0nd" Letterboxd account is being run by one of these lost souls.

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Monday, 2 December 2019 15:47 (four years ago) link

yeah. *sigh*

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 15:51 (four years ago) link

that account has been deleted, but here's the whole thing

Anti-cinema.
(does the lego undermine the sexy?)

Greatest: Griffith, Flaherty, Stroheim, Strand, Eisenstein, Sternberg, Ruttmann, Walt Disney, Chaplin, Sandler, Wyler, Capra, Godard, Bayformers, Friedberg & Seltzer, St. Clair, Walsh, Demille, Stoney, Dwan, Henry King, Barker, Saks, Quine, Brown, Titans GO

worst: ozu, lynch, bugman, bresson, kubrick, lang, welles, ford, hitchcock

The foundation of my thought process:

My interests lie in a cumuluative approach to cultural designation and study. I'm concerned about what the failures and achievements of prior generations entail for the future and what the weight of that history bears on macro-micro social engagement. It is why I play very little emphasis on the creative voice because I largely don't see creativity or individuality. I see bubbles, and within those bubbles, sects of groups that think themselves to be impressive or inferior, not realizing that each and every one of them resides in a bubble. For many still active, they anticipate an end, but with me, I feel as though the end has either happened (2007) or is constant because all around me I see glaze and trite competitive onedownmanship. Perhaps that is my "schizoid" personality that weighs my perception, but I was never a downer nor a whiner. Neither have I ever advocated for such. What I do feel is that I have a sense for real consequence, but my predisposition prevents me from steering away, instead wishing to correct the apathetic stares of the cinephiliac zombie

The reason why I attack so many works is because film, as a medium, is compounded by a near-insurmountable pile of fermented bilge that has crept its way into the crevices of people's egos and subsequently replaced vacant personalities. People define themselves by the films they watch, not really ever getting near or grasping why this piece of visual and audio stimulus resonates with them. They are always using terms such as "seeming" or "oneiric" without ever really contemplating how something that requires physicality could come across as such nor ever really stumbling across the OBJECTIVE notions of what is they glimpsed and had wash over them as another ad in the ecospace, centered on diverting their attention towards an illusively inward autostasis. I'm not one to say I have all the answers because I as well am partially lost, but what separates me from the mass and middling tiers is that i'm not a watcher. I am actively engaging with the works I look at, my mind is racing, many things remissed because of my short-term memory and the ease of losing important ideas and connections I conceptualize. I believe in my senses and have confidence through my immense awareness that picks up on slightest details that go by even the most discerning of individuals, but in my occasional foggy gaze, what I find to be the guiding path for me is working backwards and eliminating what I can firmly justify as antithetical to ideal, as unnecessary, as illusive, as trickery much akin to how Godard said in looking for the future of the post-cinema landscape he anticipated and envisioned, he wanted to return to Griffith and Chaplin and see where at the beginning, the seams were unpulled, where divergent paths in the medium were made and where the constraints in the commercial realm as well as limitations of the independent were first organized.

I am of a long-dead breed, an anomaly in the ecochamber of cinephilia. Firm and dedicated advocate of anti-cinema. Anti-Romantic alarm.

Thought and Personality:

Everything is connected (eastern philosophy); and language is the abstract solidification (Heraclitus); find the root, the connection, then reattach, move, transform, or unplug. The visual language of film allows for the opportunity to transcend sense and achieve freeform consciousness through rhythmic intonation of the beyond (how one can learn dialectics and philosophy through Griffith, Flaherty, and Eisenstein without even reading); that is why the introduction of film has the propensity to incur the end and the rebirth of humanity, for its assemblage is made up of all components (physics, language) to reflect the human spirit; the refraction of collision between subject's thought and screen creates the beyond

Prediction for behavior and disaster with a person is associated with his personality and what he thinks. A plant is from a seed. If there is no seed, then there is no plant. So, there is no seed of thought, the action will not occur.

Because humans are based on energy, they're not all too different from machines; the spirit is the pretentious, ambiguity is the real, the agnosticism of the spiritual, the malleability and the disingenuous seen in Griffith and Demille creates pure essence (the sense of true power)

I have immense propensity for problem-solving and innate intelligence, but my biggest flaw is the slow-burst energy module (passive in public, tested remaining passive, burst when pushed to edge - this is linked with short-term memory); The lack of control seen in Griffith and Eisenstein - Gods; I share with Griffith organization but immense disorganization; I share possibly with Griffith but certainly with Eisenstein sociopathy and a fusion of comedy and incredible darkness

I have immense sense and awareness grabbed from my father and understanding grabbed from my mother and father; Constant doubt shared with father, dates back to possible Jewish origins (striking similarity between Jewish and black shared incompatibility with respective kind)

Perhaps I have the God personality - Heraclitus; stark fluctuation between benevolent and malevolent sociopath brought about by conditioning of horror movies, teasing and sensitivity, and yelling and punishment by father and mother, death of mother and near-death of father shows the predestined traumatic solidification - enjoyment of exploiting psychological reduction of others - TRUTH (CORE) - (personality hindrance prevents humanity from reaching truth since personality is catalyst for thought, truth is more frightening than illusion and pushes away others) - reserved from humanity, dissatisfied with humans but enjoy observing from beyond - I lack desire, I desire truth, I derive entertainment from finding truth and its essence. Reading at early age allowed me to prosper - the knack for philosophical and psychological thinking

Big indication of God personality - how do I know people and can psychologically reduce if I do not spend time with people? (Extra-sensitive awareness)

The misanthrope is either a wild beast or a God, not because he is uncaring, but because he expects better, the testing (teacher and student); the mutual respect between teachers (me and mine, willing to listen to wise) is representative

Unpredictability and comedy:

Comedy is defense mechanism for fear (Bergson); comedy is the foundation of thought (no difference between irony, contradiction, and dialectics because they are all linked with comedy, the disposition of the serious action, the counterweight of productivity - EVERYTHING is linked to counter-energy (physics); Moving Counter – ENERGY TRANSFORMATIONS AND LAW OF CONSERVATION

Humor requires incongruity. Beauty is subjective. Superimpose both, you get neither.

I respond so well to camp because I have an extra-sensitivity towards a range of emotions; I can detect the inner, outer, and meta; the meta is linked to spiritual, spiritual is linked to my minority roots (Native American).

Silly is clown makeup and bushy mustache. Quirky is suede suit with flowerprint (i.e. sublimated queerity)

Campy is rolled eyes and smacked bubblegum. Post-irony is overexpressive smirk with lowered brow (i.e. anime)

Modernism is rollercoasters and funnel cakes. Postmodernism is reefer and texting (i.e. grunge, rock, punk, pop, and rap music)

My personality prevents me from getting absorbed in the freewheeling nonsense beyond passive entertainment. I respect its purpose, it has merit, but my God inhibitions prevent me from being wrapped around escapism. I have an overwhelming, supposedly autistic, obsession with challenging people to be better. Not necessarily be successful but remove their negative aspects. People think I like Demille and Griffith or Bay for entertainment. It's nowhere near the case. I like them for having cultural dialogue. That is preeminent function. But I'm very much wrapped around the complexities of my mind. I DERIVE entertainment from authenticity and truthfulness. Seeing the recontextualization of conflict, its rewrapping. So, I'm very much ALIEN. I have to insert into other's shoes very much like Stroheim, to know what they find entertaining. And often, I like to do so, as exploitation that revolves around to destroying what they like.

The weak-minded will label me a contrarian, a troll, pretentious, or even a PARODY account, as they do with everyone else that poses challenge to them, I'm not a contrarian in any way. I genuinely don't care about the majority of movies. Nothing I see applies to what I would deem 'art.' Altman agreed, why I put that quote in that Sunrise video of mine. What I consider shit, what I consider quality, is completely detached from the standards of which most of you normally consider "good movies", so don't bother trying to pull a "he lieks sandler but h8s welles!!!" on me to distract from you being too inept to argue. I'm always glowing with endorsement over many "beloved" cinephile darlings, such as Chaplin, Spielberg, and Disney, this ALSO extends to "mass entertainment" that cinephiles shriek in terror at the sight of, such as Transformers, Sandler, Friedberg/Seltzer, etc. My main target for criticism is films of the ARTHOUSE variety. The butchering and vulgarization of cinematic language for the purpose of some director's bullshit self-expression, for other cinephiles to feel "emotionally transcendent" for 2 hours while staring at a screen, neither parties achieving any significant change in their environment, instead choosing to throw their fists in the air at "The Man" in an endless loop. Thanks to these types, we now see film adapting mass variant of musical stimulation. No longer theory, now emotional and mood stabilizer as escape from modern existence.

Me, I'm just tired of Redditors that have such huge fucking heads but are middlebrow as fuck

Gotta peg'em down a notch

wasdnuos (abanana), Monday, 2 December 2019 16:05 (four years ago) link

can we poll these paragraphs

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 2 December 2019 16:06 (four years ago) link

Put me down for “Perhaps I have the God personality”

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Monday, 2 December 2019 16:11 (four years ago) link

one of the twitter replies implies that this is one of those people that has long dialogues with themselves on chan-style sites

which, again, of course

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 16:23 (four years ago) link

Not sure who will be lured in with a personal ad like that but good luck to them

omar little, Monday, 2 December 2019 16:24 (four years ago) link

like maybe they didn't get banned for NAZI but because letterboxd is a site for reviewing movies and not for experiments in conceptual trolling

I understand those are the same thing, to an extent, nonetheless...

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 16:25 (four years ago) link

just seems like a very mentally ill person. not especially funny.

treeship., Monday, 2 December 2019 16:38 (four years ago) link

If there is a poll the final option needs to be "Dude, it's just a movie. Maybe you should go lie down for a while."

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Monday, 2 December 2019 16:51 (four years ago) link

so this person posted an incoherent paranoid screed that has nothing to do with movies to prove that they're... not armond white?

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Monday, 2 December 2019 17:19 (four years ago) link

I think it’s actually two separate people. The one running AW’s account is speaking out on behalf of a kindred spirit who was banned.

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Monday, 2 December 2019 17:27 (four years ago) link

there's the bizarre screed person and their friend who is criticizing their site ban, who also reposts Armond reviews to the site under a separate "Not Armond" account

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link

i like how he seems to have deliberately put the WORST directors in all lower case just to really put across his contempt for them

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Monday, 2 December 2019 17:46 (four years ago) link

so this person posted an incoherent paranoid screed that has nothing to do with movies to prove that they're... not armond white?

― “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open)

lmfao

flappy bird, Monday, 2 December 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link

armond white's letterboxd account is called "notarmondwhite". he reposted someone else's rant.

the "anti-cinema" screed was another user's bio.

wasdnuos (abanana), Monday, 2 December 2019 21:42 (four years ago) link

armond white does not have a letterboxd account

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 21:52 (four years ago) link

idk why this is hard to follow:

some guy ("a_real_peanut") regularly reposts Armond content under "Not Armond White" so that people can see it on letterboxd

"a_real_peanut" decided to post on his not-armond account to chastise letterboxd for banning other users, as they have a much larger following on their account where they're copy-pasting Armond reviews

mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 21:54 (four years ago) link

oh. makes sense now.

wasdnuos (abanana), Monday, 2 December 2019 22:55 (four years ago) link

four weeks pass...

The whole world: Little Women is a fantastic, joyous movie.
Armond White: Fuck that shit https://t.co/BLZvG7CHj4

— Anthony Boyd (@CharlieBronze) December 27, 2019

... (Eazy), Tuesday, 31 December 2019 01:09 (four years ago) link

The fetish for Obama-era posturing fascinates me.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 31 December 2019 01:33 (four years ago) link

even his jpegs are shitty

Greta Gerwig's debutante version of Little Women isn't nearly as good as Spielberg's The Color Purple yet vain feminists (and their supporters) prefer its privileged race-class basis. https://t.co/ZLUzA1PFD8 pic.twitter.com/AQrmeKZV8b

— armond white (@3xchair) January 3, 2020

flappy bird, Friday, 3 January 2020 00:06 (four years ago) link

While Gerwig features the flummery of period picture luxe, she misses the bold Caucasian eroticism that made Coppola’s The Virgin Suicides peculiarly compelling.

i can't get over how awful this line is

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 3 January 2020 00:09 (four years ago) link

leaving aside how fucking gross it is to complain about the absence of "eroticism" in a story about four young sisters, how obnoxious is it to put "flummery" and "luxe" in the same sentence

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 3 January 2020 00:12 (four years ago) link

idk I found that line inspiring

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Friday, 3 January 2020 00:21 (four years ago) link

"bold Caucasian eroticism" three words that have never been combined before

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Friday, 3 January 2020 00:36 (four years ago) link

It's that time of year:

https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/01/movie-reviews-better-than-list-good-movies-versus-netflix-cynicism/

Good movies vs. Netflix cynicism
This year the Better-Than List is more necessary than ever, given film criticism’s decline alongside corporate media’s ethical failure. Good movies received bad notices, little attention, and scarce distribution and exhibition. Visually effective storytelling, emotional exploration, and political scrutiny have been so obstructed by Marvel–Star Wars inanity and TV distraction (through the novelty of streaming services) that critics have lost sight of cinema aesthetics. Good movies still get made but languish for worthy audiences. Critical thinking has been lost to fake mythology. Here’s proof:

Dragged across Concrete > The Irishman
Craig Zahler made the best movie of the year by examining the contemporary American nightmare with both horror and compassion. Lawmen Mel Gibson, Vince Vaughn, and lawless Tory Kittles test private conviction and social desire — unlike Scorsese’s mob-fetishizing, morality manqué tale. Personal filmmaking vs. decadent commercialism.

Sorry Angel > Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Christophe Honoré’s AIDS-era morality tale confronted still-current ironies of desire minus the special pleading that fouled up Céline Sciamma’s misguided lesbian/abortion historical romance. Sorry Angel’s range of masculine behaviors bested simplistic feminist standard-bearing, Plus, Honoré transcended sexual politics through the single most powerful — leveling — movie-lover’s image this decade.

Pain and Glory > Uncut Gems
Pedro Almodóvar’s gorgeous emotional autobiography showed wisdom while the Safdie Brothers’ ethnic carnival was callow. Antonio Banderas’s expressive regret and grace-filled recollections went deeper than Adam Sandler’s deliberately ugly, unfunny self-reproach.

Domino > Knives Out
Brian De Palma reexamines his Millennial politics — depicting the War on Terror in a swift, effective genre exercise. Rian Johnson’s crass, pseudopolitical whodunit can’t tell where citizenship or humanity begins.

Richard Jewell > The Irishman
Clint Eastwood’s account of an actual American tragedy (initiated by irresponsible media and rogue government) shames Scorsese’s distorted labor-union history. Respect for life vs. the love of crime. Simple fluency vs. baroque dishonesty.

The Image Book >Netflix
Jean-Luc Godard recalls the political complexity of our cinematic heritage. Images of beauty and doom reflect on the artistic expression of mortality — an increasingly forgotten goal. Godard shows us everything missing from the inundation of Netflix’s reckless film-production excess. Through a climactic scene from Max Ophuls’s Le Plaisir, Godard challenged Netflix (Scorsese’s and Obama’s boss) as the enemy of cinema.

Sauvage/Wild > Marriage Story
Camille Vidal-Naquet’s extraordinarily intimate debut is more candid than Noah Baumbach’s latest act of pampered social-climbing. The tough story of a social outcast (Félix Maritaud) looking for love (without conventional definition) contrasts with the flimsy narcissism that our media elite share and defend. Homo sensitivity vs. Hetero superficiality.

Tattoo of Revenge > Little Women
Julián Hernandez’s film noir turns male–female empathy into a constantly inventive spectacle while Greta Gerwig’s literary adaptation sentimentalizes bourgeois privilege as a woman’s right.

John Wick 3: Parabellum > Joker
Chad Stahelski’s slapstick violence wittily satirizes Millennial desperation (imagine if John Woo had Fred Astaire’s aplomb). But Todd Phillips’s Batman spin-off, featuring Joaquin Phoenix’s bonkers Heath Ledger re-do, is a grim, sarcastic appeal to nihilism (imagine a Scorsese sellout with no craft).

Shadow > The Souvenir
Zhang Yimou combines Chinese lore and pure cinematic dazzle, in a royal court’s battle of wills imbued with Shakespearean richness. Joanna Hogg’s vapid film-school heroine (Honor Swinton Byrne) epitomizes a generation’s cultural ignorance and foolish pride.

I Do Not Care If We Go Down in History as Barbarians > Parasite
Radu Jude provides an ingenious perspective on Romania’s cultural and political legacy while Bong Joon-ho flirts with creeping fascism. Anti-Communist wisdom vs. cancel-culture terrorism. An Adam Schiff alarm vs. an Adam Schiff sitcom.

Once Upon a Time . . . in Hollywood > The Irishman
Quentin Tarantino recalls the Manson Sixties but with social perspective, while Scorsese brings back that ’90s malady: denial. It’s QT’s best-ever film — vividly acted and emotionally satisfying — a bulwark against film culture’s moral decay.

By the Grace of God >The Two Popes
François Ozon addresses the Catholic Church sex scandal without the defamation seen in Fernando Meirelles’s progressive calling-card movie. Ozon revives the astute reverence of Hollywood’s I’d Climb the Highest Mountain and A Man Called Peter. Meirelles is just smug.

Brian Banks and The Best of Enemies > Us, Clemency, and Queen & Slim
In this year’s race-movie genre, Tom Shadyac and Robin Bissell empathize with real-life civil-rights struggles. Their decent films rise above the insulting exploitation of Jordan Peele, Chinonye Chukwu, and Lena Waithe’s superstitious thrillers.

Peterloo > 1917
Before Mike Leigh succumbs to Marxist sentiment and secular skepticism, he gives us fine moments of common-people sacrifice and brilliant instances of British political rhetoric putting opposing sides of history at cross-purposes. Leigh senses contemporary national crisis, but Sam Mendes ignores it with a mawkish, tedious WWI pictorial stunt.

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Sunday, 5 January 2020 03:42 (four years ago) link

An Adam Schiff alarm vs. an Adam Schiff sitcom.

a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 5 January 2020 04:03 (four years ago) link

Sorry Angel’s range of masculine behaviors bested simplistic feminist standard-bearing,

oh

those simple women!

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 5 January 2020 04:34 (four years ago) link

otm about By the Grace of God

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 5 January 2020 04:35 (four years ago) link

he hates Scorsese more than the Marvelboyz do

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 5 January 2020 05:10 (four years ago) link

Once Upon A Time and Richard Jewell both top The Irishman but he doesn't clarify which of those two wins. Disappointing.

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Sunday, 5 January 2020 05:15 (four years ago) link

Chad Stahelski’s slapstick violence wittily satirizes Millennial desperation

Of course! When John Wick kills that one guy by karate-chopping a book into his face, it was clearly a satire about the way millennials have been entrapped by college debt... it’s so obvious now!

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Sunday, 5 January 2020 07:16 (four years ago) link

Clint Eastwood’s account of an actual American tragedy (initiated by irresponsible media and rogue government)

I think it was actually initiated by a murderous religious fanatic but what are facts between friends?

Pete Swine Cave (Eliza D.), Monday, 6 January 2020 02:05 (four years ago) link

Armond White is so stupid, that when he calls 'I do not care if we go down in history as Barbarians' 'anti-communist' I genuinely can't say if he just don't know which side Romania was on in wwii

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 10:32 (four years ago) link

Bong Joon-ho flirts with creeping fascism

...what

hot nuts (small) (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 10:40 (four years ago) link

These always read like he just assembles them randomly, like mad libs. We should try to write our own next year and see how close we come. “Hellboy bravely met the moment with wit and elegance, while Atlantics traffics in the sour bootlicking of the Mueller-istas.”

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Monday, 6 January 2020 12:57 (four years ago) link

Uncut Gems diminishes one of the richest comic sensibilities in modern cinema. It turns Sandler, the smartass who always chooses family and friendship over streetwise selfishness, into an icon of grungy nihilism. The Safdie brothers have reinvented nice Jewish boy Sandler as Johnny Depp.

💠 (crüt), Sunday, 12 January 2020 15:06 (four years ago) link

e smartass who always chooses family and friendship over streetwise selfishness,

this is a lie. Did he watch the film?

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 12 January 2020 15:20 (four years ago) link

One of my favorite Armond-isms in recent years is when he cited “critic John Demetry” to buttress an argument (Demetry being not a critic but a blogger who works directly w/him and perhaps strategically shares his taste almost exactingly).

omar little, Sunday, 12 January 2020 23:37 (four years ago) link

Ah yes, I remember that sycophantic Skeletor back from the heyday of the Brian De Palma forum.

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Monday, 13 January 2020 14:51 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

This is my kind of distraction from COVID news:

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/never-rarely-sometimes-always/

coronoshebettadontvirus (Eric H.), Friday, 13 March 2020 15:33 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

Good lord...

A photo worthy of Jean Genet. So is the story behind it (The Miracle of the Rose). @Gothamist pic.twitter.com/e8DKFiepBA

— armond white (@3xchair) May 5, 2020

Got my Rohmer Six Moral Tales BR box yesterday, saw he has an essay in it

flappy bird, Tuesday, 5 May 2020 19:55 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

Moments like this are what Arm0nd lives for...

https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/07/review-hamilton-lin-manuel-miranda-monument-political-egotism/

Disney’s presentation of the Broadway blockbuster Hamilton marks a curious cultural turning point: The most heralded production in recent Broadway history has not been adapted into a movie — it’s a digital video recording of a 2016 stage performance — because it has to live up to its hype as an exclusive Broadway event. Hamilton’s celebration by elite media cadres contradicts the essence of cinema as an emotionally intense, unifying popular art form. This version happens at, literally, an emotional and intellectual distance.

Lin-Manuel Miranda conceived a treatment of the life of Alexander Hamilton, one of the Founding Fathers and the first secretary of the Treasury of the United States, to be a showcase of Broadway theater diversity. He followed legendary impresario Joseph Papp’s idea of multicultural, non-traditional performance that broadened the Western theatrical canon by asserting America’s ethnic variety (Papp’s gimmicky casting of Shakespeare in the Park productions). Hamilton recast American history as a racial gimmick: The white Founding Fathers are portrayed by black and Latino actors — an obtuse means of reclaiming American history not for “everyone” but for us vs. them.

This literal narrowcasting is ideological. Miranda first presented his show in 2015, during the second term of Barack Obama’s presidency, in observance of that era’s arrogant sense of new social authority — and the vanity Miranda no doubt felt as a Puerto-Rican theater aspirant finally finding a niche. Miranda uses hip-hop musical idioms in Hamilton according to the same specious perception of Obama’s identity as African American, or black, rather than as bi-racial. (There are allusions to Hamilton’s own cloudy background.) This novelty pretended to speak for non-white America, and in Disney’s video intro Miranda says, “It’s about how history remembers and how that changes over time.” That’s a theater hustler’s demagoguery.

Hamilton’s topsy-turvy spectacle recalls the racial reversal Jean Genet originated in The Blacks (1959), only Genet’s overt political intent (his mockery of colonial racism) is subsumed by the energy of hip-hop and its superficial polemics. Musical-theater people are squares who, adept at their own rich traditions, never get the gist of such pop music as rhythm & blues, rock & roll, disco, or hip-hop. They don’t know the hip-hop genre’s great artists Public Enemy, Biggie Smalls, The Geto Boys, Son of Bazerk of De La Soul. What you hear in Miranda’s Hamilton is ersatz hip-hop, which easily won over critics and audiences already in denial that Obama was bi-racial and eager to accept Miranda’s blackface revision of American history.

Miranda’s cynicism automatically dismisses the idea of a show about Pan-African or Puerto-Rican history. (The Boriqueneers to match Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Gondoliers?) Instead, the concept behind Hamilton — to make its squareness seem hip — is to sell the American Revolution in updated, anachronistic, slangy terms that will appeal to notions of revolution spouted by hip-hop’s most naive adherents. That would include the “fundamentally transform America” Obama admirers. (There’s even a pro-DACA song. Is there anyone waiting to see this show who is not a dyed-in-the-wool Obama liberal?)

Let’s include hip-hop haters who deplore the genre’s inherent youthful impudence, sensuality, and déclassé roots. Miranda’s music and lyrics most closely resemble the speed-rap of white rapper Eminem — a neurotic, distorted appropriation of hip-hop’s blues and reggae source. Miranda chooses a vernacular that betrays black expression every bit as much as a smoothly duplicitous, over-educated politician does. This linguistic jumble accounts for the play’s expository rather than dramatic nature. We watch Hamilton (played by Miranda) come to 18th-century America and enter the early political fray where he meets his ultimate nemesis Aaron Burr (Leslie Odom, Jr.) no differently than an episode of MTV’s Wild and Out.

The show alternates between battle-rap encounters and minstrel-style solos. Thankfully, the appearance of the Schuyler Sisters (Phillipa Soo, Renee Elise Goldsberry, Jasmine Cephus Jones), as women Hamilton and Burr engage on their journey toward historical destiny, offers vocal variety — always sung with genuine loveliness and persuasion. But even the Schuyler sisters, cast as three ethnically different, miscegenated phenotypes (Asian, black, Latin), perpetuate Miranda’s unceasing fake hip-hop and race-and-politics trickery. The show’s non-traditional casting obsession clashes with the limitations of today’s nutty progressivism that says actors can no longer pretend to be who they are not.

Hamilton’s race confusion hits unignorable dead-ends. Miranda’s unprepossessing lead performance depends on whiny hectoring, rather than brainy charisma; the role needs a star, and this film doesn’t have one. As England’s King George (Jonathan Groff), the single white performer diverts from hip-hop, reprising snide, Alanis Morissette-style pop as a foppish queer stereotype. Such trite characterization oversimplifies political history. Burr’s “Smile more/Don’t let them know what you’re against/Or what you’re for” flatters today’s cynicism about politics — politics has replaced movies as everyone’s expertise.

“No one really knows how the game is played,” Burr raps in “The Room Where It Happened,” the elites’ anthem that John Bolton chose as the title for his latest memoir. The song’s actually about deceit and disloyalty (the “Click—Boom!” line implying deadly threat). Something this odious also needs a star, a Sammy Davis, Jr., to pull it off but not sullen, grinning Odom. Odom’s Burr, who kills Hamilton in American history’s most famous duel, is another dark-skinned villain — like Taye Diggs’s evil landlord in Rent — who here personifies the insidious racism that even Broadway liberals keep hidden behind their public pandering.

By comparison, both Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell were modest about their subjects. Miranda’s ode to power pretends Hamilton’s drive is psychological insight and idolizes political chicanery the same as the Steven Spielberg–Tony Kushner Lincoln. Shameless Act Two features one song describing “a grace too powerful to name/We push away the unimaginable/Forgiveness. Can you imagine?” It proposes a humanism that is gone from the culture Hamilton represents; that’s why the scene and that song are weak. The show’s celebration of ruthlessness is seen as its justification — that 2008 idea of worshipping the purported political brilliance of an obnoxious individual.

Director Thomas Kail inserts a few bird’s-eye-views but never offers a single expressive image (Spike Lee’s film of the stage play Passing Strange was shot more effectively, and Julie Taymor’s visually wondrous A Midsummer Night’s Dream is the best unreleased American movie of the past ten years). This is not a film but an official preservation. It’s a great irony that Disney’s Hamilton streaming comes at a time of historical ignorance when institutional leaders, politicians, and media all condone the tearing down of history. Miranda’s vainglorious Hamilton edifice amounts to the same thing.

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Friday, 3 July 2020 18:43 (three years ago) link

(Also, evidently, pretty much everyone I follow actively tweeting today, but I blame Twitter for that.)

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Friday, 3 July 2020 18:44 (three years ago) link

I suppose it was inevitable that Armond would write something I agree with. (Not just about the repellent politics of the show but this, more than anything: "Musical-theater people are squares who, adept at their own rich traditions, never get the gist of such pop music as rhythm & blues, rock & roll, disco, or hip-hop.")

but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 3 July 2020 19:13 (three years ago) link

I've never given a shit about Hamilton, sounds horrible -- and I read every shitty bio of the Framers.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 3 July 2020 19:40 (three years ago) link

It was annoying me how much I agree with what is otherwise just Armond's excuse for taking yet another tired shot at Obama.

A White, White Gay (cryptosicko), Friday, 3 July 2020 20:06 (three years ago) link

(let me be very clear in reiterating that Armond White is still a horrible piece of shit)

A White, White Gay (cryptosicko), Friday, 3 July 2020 20:08 (three years ago) link

That this was going to be the moment of massive backlash against Hamilton was written in the stars.

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Friday, 3 July 2020 22:44 (three years ago) link

that Passing Strange show video'd by Spike is marvelous

brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 July 2020 22:59 (three years ago) link

It was annoying me how much I agree with what is otherwise just Armond's excuse for taking yet another tired shot at Obama.

― A White, White Gay (cryptosicko), Friday, 3 July 2020 20:06 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

(let me be very clear in reiterating that Armond White is still a horrible piece of shit)

― A White, White Gay (cryptosicko), Friday, 3 July 2020 20:08 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

OTM although it interests me more than it annoys me. Regardless of several specious aspects that review is interesting, as someone who has never seen nor will ever see Hamilton.

Heavy Messages (jed_), Saturday, 4 July 2020 00:55 (three years ago) link

"the same specious perception of Obama’s identity as African American, or black, rather than as bi-racial"

he's trying to redefine someone else's identity?

Dan S, Saturday, 4 July 2020 01:16 (three years ago) link

don't like that review, or any other of his

Dan S, Saturday, 4 July 2020 01:23 (three years ago) link

“Agree” with Armond insomuch as I think Hamilton sucks but jfc that review is stupid.

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Saturday, 4 July 2020 02:24 (three years ago) link

Instead, the concept behind Hamilton — to make its squareness seem hip — is to sell the American Revolution in updated, anachronistic, slangy terms that will appeal to notions of revolution spouted by hip-hop’s most naive adherents.

They don’t know the hip-hop genre’s great artists Public Enemy, Biggie Smalls, The Geto Boys

Ah yes, two great groups famous for their belief in reasonable, incremental reforms from working within the system.

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Saturday, 4 July 2020 02:34 (three years ago) link

all the good points AW makes were all made at the time of the original musical's release here at a time when very few were willing to hear it (and no despite the URL it's not a n*th*n r*b*ns*n oiece) and without the conservative nonsense

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2016/07/you-should-be-terrified-that-people-who-like-hamilton-run-our-country

k*r*n koltrane (Simon H.), Saturday, 4 July 2020 07:12 (three years ago) link

seems like awful pish for the blathering class

specific fry such as scampo (||||||||), Saturday, 4 July 2020 08:04 (three years ago) link

I would say that now in 2020, 4 years after that (very good) Current Affairs piece was written, that there are still depressingly few willing to even acknowledge the existence of, let alone listen to and ruminate at length on, the multitude of obnoxious and problematic things about Hamilton. So hackneyed right wing trolling aside I don't have a problem with AW or anyone else reiterating them.

Sabre of Paradise (trevor phillips), Saturday, 4 July 2020 09:02 (three years ago) link

its justification — that 2008 idea of worshipping the purported political brilliance of an obnoxious individual.

Imagine writing this sentence in 2020.

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Saturday, 4 July 2020 19:15 (three years ago) link

I would say that now in 2020, 4 years after that (very good) Current Affairs piece was written, that there are still depressingly few willing to even acknowledge the existence of, let alone listen to and ruminate at length on, the multitude of obnoxious and problematic things about Hamilton. So hackneyed right wing trolling aside I don't have a problem with AW or anyone else reiterating them.

― Sabre of Paradise (trevor phillips), Saturday, July 4, 2020 5:02 AM (fourteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

OTM

Armond's best review since Get Out.

flappy bird, Saturday, 4 July 2020 23:13 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

It's Dylan's Trump album, a brilliant warning to cancel culture. https://t.co/F7WI73CMqu @bobdylan @realDonaldTrump #RoughandRowdyWays #MurderMostFoul @billboard

— armond white (@3xchair) July 24, 2020

“Murder Most Foul” offers a cultural and moral history lesson that Black Lives/Antifa don’t know, a lesson that the movement’s enablers — those desperate, still agnostic Sixties liberals — conveniently disregard. That’s why even Dylan’s devout followers are in denial about the obvious contemporary allusion in “Murder Most Foul.” It is clearly a Trump song, an epic poem that summarizes the self-annihilating resentment amassed in the anger of Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Consider how Dylan’s “Key West (Philosopher Pirate)” song references pirate radio stations — the alternative media we all long for in the wake of Silicon Valley’s shadow-banning conservative speech.

... (Eazy), Sunday, 26 July 2020 15:50 (three years ago) link

I ... don't know who to root for in this round.

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Sunday, 26 July 2020 17:00 (three years ago) link

Uh, wasn't "Murder Most Foul" pulled from the vaults? Was it even recorded after Trump started running? I thought he cut most of this record in 2013.

flappy bird, Sunday, 26 July 2020 23:15 (three years ago) link

“Murder Most Foul” is significant to me. Dylan’s troubadour sorrow is in touch with our own, it feels like a song for this moment

but “the self-annihilating resentment amassed in the anger of Trump Derangement Syndrome”, “the alternative media we all long for in the wake of Silicon Valley’s shadow-banning conservative speech”...fuck off

Dan S, Sunday, 26 July 2020 23:41 (three years ago) link

I said the soul of a nation has been torn away
And it's beginning to go into a slow decay
And it's 36 hours past Judgment Day

Dan S, Monday, 27 July 2020 00:43 (three years ago) link

Play Ben Shapiro
Play Bari Weiss

... (Eazy), Monday, 27 July 2020 02:20 (three years ago) link

from Pitchfork review....

“The size of your cock will get you nowhere,” he grumbles to a sworn enemy, who might be death itself, in “Black Rider.”

Lady Antibody (Neanderthal), Monday, 27 July 2020 04:17 (three years ago) link

How Taylor Swift's Folklore album leads the BLM/Antifa Folklore Wars. https://t.co/eYNyPtueDM @taylorswift13 #Folklore pic.twitter.com/HqSuEGljM2

— armond white (@3xchair) July 29, 2020

A Bob Dole conservative might be surprised that anodyne romanticism can be so threatening, but conservatives today had better beware of the dangers presented by the Folklore War and its deceptive consensus. Consider Folklore the 1619 Project of pop music.

... (Eazy), Wednesday, 29 July 2020 22:43 (three years ago) link

even by his low worst standards that's lazy stuff

the quar on drugs (Simon H.), Wednesday, 29 July 2020 23:24 (three years ago) link

this is funny? i guess? also sad, and dumb.
https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/07/antifa-films-25-movies-that-turned-generation-into-nihilistic-anarchists/

ian, Friday, 7 August 2020 00:27 (three years ago) link

Gus Van Sant’s homoerotic version of academic class war between Boston Southies and Cambridge preppies turned a Horatio Alger story into a Howard Zinn movie.

"...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 7 August 2020 00:31 (three years ago) link

Vertigo - "Hitchcock’s most obsessive love story became a how-to manual for “people who are not sure who they are but who are busy reconstructing themselves and each other to fit a kind of social ideal.”"

come on

Dan S, Friday, 7 August 2020 00:35 (three years ago) link

vertigo undoubtedly a huge influence on the antifa generation

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Friday, 7 August 2020 00:41 (three years ago) link

The Harry Potter films (2001–2011): The dullest, most inept franchise in Hollywood history was not harmless; it served to subvert C. S. Lewis and Christian Sunday School parables

i'm shocked this is the worst he can think to say about harry potter - seems like a line is missing. was he in such a rush that he seriously couldn't squeeze an obama dig in there? something about "teaching kids to worship a charismatic magician-huckster"? jfc do i have to write this guys stuff for him?

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Friday, 7 August 2020 00:46 (three years ago) link

He remains 100% correct re: The Dark Knight, but you know, a broken clock.

A White, White Gay (cryptosicko), Friday, 7 August 2020 00:48 (three years ago) link

he's more like a thermometer that insists he's a clock

popeye's arse (Neanderthal), Friday, 7 August 2020 00:53 (three years ago) link

Gladiator (2000): Another comic-book movie for those who never read Gibbon, Virgil, Horace, Socrates, Plato, Ovid, or Steve Reeves.

"those who never read...steve reeves."

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 7 August 2020 00:54 (three years ago) link

“A Steve Well-Reeved: A Memoir”

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Friday, 7 August 2020 01:15 (three years ago) link

staggering number of bad takes in one place i think.

ian, Friday, 7 August 2020 01:32 (three years ago) link

New board description?

ultros ultros-ghali, Friday, 7 August 2020 12:39 (three years ago) link

Movies were never his first love.

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Friday, 7 August 2020 13:39 (three years ago) link

Comments are surprisingly good. This guy gets it.

Brian Silenus
6 days ago
(Edited)
Antifa syllabus?! LOL. This reads like every incel, 8chan, right wing edgelord’s favorite movie list.

Bougy! Bougie! Bougé! (Eliza D.), Friday, 7 August 2020 14:06 (three years ago) link

hilarious list and commentary

solo scampito (mh), Friday, 7 August 2020 16:21 (three years ago) link

Javier Bardem as the “hero” in No Country For Old Men is a pretty out there take

This Is Not An ILX Username (LaMonte), Friday, 7 August 2020 16:30 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

Picked up the New York Press anthology and it's a really good reminder, for those who only know of National Review-era Arm0nd, why he was worth following in the first place. But ... has his bio always included books that, so far as I can tell, don't exist? He's credited with Make Spielberg Great Again, which sign me up, but doesn't look to be on sale or even connected to a publisher at all. A previous bio promised a full retrospective anthology of his own writings too, at one time.

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Sunday, 20 September 2020 14:59 (three years ago) link

an essential book to buy right now. MZS and Godfrey's work is equally indispensable.

the Steve Reeves line has me reeling, that comes really close to Norbit "transcending racial categorization"

flappy bird, Sunday, 27 September 2020 06:51 (three years ago) link

Aaaaaand a reminder of what's become of him now: https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/09/marvin-gaye-whats-going-on-political-decoy/

From the album’s opening party vibe, Gaye offers a masterful blend of harmoniousness, the thing that the angry Left forbids. The album’s lack of harshness, its soft rhetoric and tenderly voiced petitions, do not match today’s tantrums — they contradict the violence and stubborn unwillingness to compromise or express empathy and compassion. What’s Going On is non-militant whereas the Black Lives Antifa movement has proven destructive. It is necessary to call out this BLA alliance in order to clarify the usurpation of black American social and spiritual aspiration by the plainly political, even satanic aims of social domination. This is key to understanding how Gaye’s entreaty opposes today’s inflammatory, anarchic rhetoric.

Get the point? Good, let's dance with nunchaku. (Eric H.), Wednesday, 30 September 2020 13:29 (three years ago) link

uh

shout-out to his family (DJP), Wednesday, 30 September 2020 13:31 (three years ago) link

what's going on

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 30 September 2020 13:39 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

I love this guy:

Nominate Van Morrison not Dr. Fauci for Entertainer of the Year. https://t.co/oUjjulrvlg

— armond white (@3xchair) December 3, 2020

On average, this critic grades 8.3 points lower than other critics (Eric H.), Thursday, 3 December 2020 18:21 (three years ago) link

Needs a pointless out-of-nowhere comparison to really "pop" as an Armond tweet imo. Something like "Van Morrison shows us bravery, and how the left's blind worship of Fleetwood Mac is anything but"

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Thursday, 3 December 2020 18:32 (three years ago) link

damn wait i just looked at the original tweet not the retweet, looks like armonds got me covered LOL

turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Thursday, 3 December 2020 18:33 (three years ago) link

I will say this for Armond, he’s one of the few film critics my kids can name becz his reviews get trolled so much on social media.

a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 3 December 2020 18:47 (three years ago) link

My kids have actually asked me, “What’s the deal with Armond White,” which is one of those parenting questions you’re never really ready for.

a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 3 December 2020 18:48 (three years ago) link

you haven't had the talk yet?

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:49 (three years ago) link

the goat. still one of the greatest living film critics

flappy bird, Friday, 4 December 2020 19:30 (three years ago) link

All I read are the links that get posted in this thread, meaning I only read him at his worst. With that in mind, he barely strikes me as a critic right now--he's got an axe to grind, and with many films his response is a thousand percent predictable, never good.

clemenza, Friday, 4 December 2020 20:34 (three years ago) link

Fincher makes a god out of a Hollywood super-hack in the same way that the media praise Steve McQueen, Jordan Peele, J. J. Abrams, Alfonso Cuarón, Megan Rapinoe, Kylie Jenner, Colin Kaepernick, Taylor Swift, John Legend, and Shaun King. Millennials can’t tell the difference between artists, athletes, intellects, and influencers. So Mank inflates a story about the obscure co-screenwriter of a film that has no impact on the culture, turning it into a Netflix pseudo-event.

https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/12/review-mank-david-fincher-facile-fascism/

jaymc, Friday, 11 December 2020 16:17 (three years ago) link

(Poll?)

jaymc, Friday, 11 December 2020 16:17 (three years ago) link

Saying that Citizen Kane had no impact on the culture is the most insane thing he's said yet.

Ape Hole Road (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 11 December 2020 16:50 (three years ago) link

It's allegedly Trump's favorite movie (but we know it's really Bloodsport)!

Ape Hole Road (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 11 December 2020 16:52 (three years ago) link

i feel lightheaded after reading that... like im floating

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 11 December 2020 16:54 (three years ago) link

not sure i can handle the increasing intensity as Armond approaches the singularity of Pure Challop

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 11 December 2020 16:57 (three years ago) link

Citizen Kane not having impact on the culture is...I know, roll your eyes and move on. The logical construct, I suppose, is that it had a tremendous impact on the course of film history, therefore film has had no impact on the culture.

clemenza, Friday, 11 December 2020 16:58 (three years ago) link

the full review goes hard on the idea of Mank being a film made by and for millenials

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 11 December 2020 17:10 (three years ago) link

Quoting witticisms already well known to every film buff is the same as name-dropping, a sign of Millennial triteness where nothing is sacred except one’s own ego.

lol, God forbid you use an actual quote in a biopic.

jmm, Friday, 11 December 2020 17:11 (three years ago) link

those people who quote people - is nothing sacred for them?

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 11 December 2020 17:18 (three years ago) link

Doesn't mention Mindhunter when summarizing Fincher's career (House of Cards, yes).

I think what I hate most is what seems to be his starting point so often: a film can't just be okay--if it's not good or great, it has to be The Worst Thing Ever (fascistic, bogus, confused, ignorant, etc.) Even Kael, who has come to define hyperbole for many people, wrote middling reviews of films she neither embraced or dismissed--half her reviews were like that, picking out a few good things in otherwise marginal films.

(He does say "Citizen Kane was a game-changer — it’s what birthed film noir among other innovations" a little farther down from the "no impact" line, so--putting aside the crime of using "game-changer"--I guess that was meant as a sarcastic jab at Fincher.)

clemenza, Friday, 11 December 2020 17:23 (three years ago) link

I won't click on Armond's reviews anymore out of fear that hits might equal even a fraction of a cent making its way into his pocket, but that passage quoted by jaymc is some kind of masterpiece of whatever it is that Armond does.

Langdon Alger Stole the Highlights (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 December 2020 18:12 (three years ago) link

("trolling" is probably the word I was looking for, but like "reviewing," Armond seems to be only doing this on his own crazed, inscrutable level)

Langdon Alger Stole the Highlights (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 December 2020 18:17 (three years ago) link

I won't click on Armond's reviews anymore out of fear that hits might equal even a fraction of a cent making its way into his pocket,

Talk about hyperbolic and crazed!

flappy bird, Friday, 11 December 2020 19:44 (three years ago) link

Sure. I mean, I was half kidding--more like I no longer feel like slogging through his writing just to uncover the occasional LOL (I'll let ILX do that for me).

I'm actually curious about your reasons for, upthread, calling Armond "one of the greatest living film critics." What is it about him that you respect or respond to? I'm not saying a case can't be made for him (he's idiosyncratic, I'll give him that much); I'm just wondering what kind of defence can be mounted in favour of his criticism these days.

Langdon Alger Stole the Highlights (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 December 2020 20:36 (three years ago) link

Was wondering the same. It feels like he's just a knee-jerk cheerleader for a right-wing publication.

clemenza, Friday, 11 December 2020 20:42 (three years ago) link

Even the much-despised John Simon (not by me), when he wrote for the National Review, I don't think you could detect right-wing political currents in his reviews. (His pomposity might have been a right-wing caricature 50 years before he arrived, but by the time he's there, that was more like a left-wing caricature.)

clemenza, Friday, 11 December 2020 20:46 (three years ago) link

Even politics aside, the basic coherence of his writing has deteriorated so much and his thoughts are so disordered that its next to impossible to parse any meaning at all from a lot of what he puts up, he obfuscates and contradicts himself almost on a word by word level. The leaps are so extreme and bizarre - its not just that hes expressing an extreme or bad viewpoint, but its hard to even put my hand on a thought to agree or disagree with most of the time.

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 11 December 2020 21:26 (three years ago) link

Because his work demands discussion, he makes people want to talk about film, he's not wallpaper like almost everyone else, I agree with him less than half of the time, and he irritates (ex)critics who are envious of his minor fame/infamy but will never admit it.

flappy bird, Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:13 (three years ago) link

I mean I'm really struggling to think of a single other film critic that makes me feel anything--Nick Pinkerton is one, MZS and Godfrey as well, and in the NYT, Mahola Dargis and Janet Maslin. Brody is hit or miss and as equally insane as Armond.

flappy bird, Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:18 (three years ago) link

I'd love for that situation to change, btw...

flappy bird, Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:18 (three years ago) link

Few of those statements speak to the quality of his work. Most focus on what he isn't or how he rankles people. Not what I consider "GOAT" quality.

And what kind of discussion does he inspire? Most of it is "lol, this fucking guy" level discourse.

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:20 (three years ago) link

Just not feeling "professional contrarian" as a virtue.

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:21 (three years ago) link

That's without getting into his toxic politics which have played a larger role in his writing in recent years which put him more firmly in edgelord territory

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:24 (three years ago) link

There's a reason you can find many a 4chan thread lauding him

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 December 2020 06:28 (three years ago) link

I've had plenty of discussions in real life with people about Armond's reviews, good and bad. More lately since the release of the NY Press book. I like his writing a lot. I couldn't care less about his politics. Of course it's incorporated into his work, so was Pauline Kael's homophobia. I'm a fan of his writing, his Get Out review in particular is an exemplary piece of criticism for a couple reasons: I completely disagreed with his assessment of the movie but I can't say it was wrong, AND I've never forgotten what he said about Eddie Murphy's recent comedies--let's just say I don't think he's wrong. Why anyone who hates Armond's writing would ever look in this thread, let alone post in it, is beyond me.

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 22:55 (three years ago) link

"Another maniacal Armond White review..."

Doesn't the thread title suggest it's specifically for people who don't think much of him?

clemenza, Sunday, 13 December 2020 22:58 (three years ago) link

Yes. But it's the only thread for Armond. Beyond me!

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 22:59 (three years ago) link

the entire purpose of this thread is to dunk on him. you can galaxy brain this all you want but I don't think a defense of him as a critic is really tenable

k3vin k., Sunday, 13 December 2020 22:59 (three years ago) link

xpAlthough, your comment reminds me of David Brooks, who own hate read thread I've participated in. I suppose I don't hold commensurate views on columnists--art&entertainment critics can do whatever they want in my eyes, they're in the sandbox, op-ed columnists writing about the way people live, policy, and "values" is another story, they deserve nothing but scrutiny and scorn.

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:02 (three years ago) link

I said I like his writing, that's out in outer space? Christ

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:03 (three years ago) link

I've never thought of critics as being judged differently than any other kind of writer.

clemenza, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:04 (three years ago) link

Regarding their politics, it would be more relevant in David Brooks' case than Armond or any other film critic's, for example

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:06 (three years ago) link

Beyond that, I like his writing, I think he writes good criticism. Shoot me into the sun!

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:06 (three years ago) link

I do, apparently, judge critics very differently than my favourite music. As per the sincerity thread on ILM, I don't care at all about that with music (or at least think it's such a subjective call, it's meaningless). With critics, my very subjective appraisal of the their honesty (I'll name it that rather than their sincerity) accounts for about 80% of how worthwhile I think they are.

clemenza, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:08 (three years ago) link

xp since his criticism is generally just a series of jokes about latte-liberalism (from the right) I can only make inferences based on that. lots of other readers like him too, but these are mainly people who read the national review

k3vin k., Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:10 (three years ago) link

columnists writing about the way people live, policy, and "values" is another story, they deserve nothing but scrutiny and scorn

LOL, find an Armond review from the last 10 years that doesnt have a 2:1 ratio of this stuff to film

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:21 (three years ago) link

Armond used to be an interesting critic and compelling writer, now he's a good troll* and applies his talent to that. The limit of his concerns makes the work much lesser, but it's not hard to understand someone who liked him needling and finding ways to provoke and annoy on points of art still valuing those skills in a different phase of his work.

huge rant (sic), Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:38 (three years ago) link

*good at being a troll: trolls are better when they force you to reexamine your own thinking by annoying you, even if the result is to give you a better structure for the opinions you already had. Unfortunately modern Armond seems more concerned with the irritation than the provocation, but many of us gloss over the worse parts of older artists' output to still appreciate the things we liked about them before. flappy seems to have pulled this off well.

huge rant (sic), Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:41 (three years ago) link

xp Lol ok true true, I just ignore what he says, and it's ostensibly not the purpose of his pieces... but, being in the NR, these lines become blurry. Someone like Brooks or Peggy Noonan just has absolutely nothing to offer to the world, unlike art critics, who I consider closer to artists than journalists, and as with Armond, I let whatever partisan insanity pass by.

I do agree his best writing is (mostly) behind him. But please, I wasn't being sarcastic upthread, I would like recommendations on other contemporary film critics that are good!

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:45 (three years ago) link

and sic is OTM

trolls are better when they force you to reexamine your own thinking by annoying you, even if the result is to give you a better structure for the opinions you already had.

flappy bird, Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:49 (three years ago) link

dgaf about Armond. I've only read a few of his columns, but I like A. S. Hamrah's stuff: https://thebaffler.com/authors/a-s-hamrah

loose Orwellian mobs (rob), Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:57 (three years ago) link

Honestly, the best "film writing" I ever read was all the blogs I read during the '00s, a much better format than magazine columns

loose Orwellian mobs (rob), Sunday, 13 December 2020 23:58 (three years ago) link

He's been awful for years, unworthy of the concentration.

Yet a few years ago I remembered one of the few attentive, intelligent reviews of New Order's Republic, and Rolling Stone published it as its lead review.

Armond White wrote it.

Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 14 December 2020 00:03 (three years ago) link

I would like recommendations on other contemporary film critics that are good!

I don't think he's much referenced here, and I've said this many times, but generally I think David Edelstein is excellent. He was once thought to be a Paulette; maybe that was once true, but he's long since moved on.

I don't know if he's on leave (from New York) or what, though. He got into some trouble a year or two ago for a flippant Last Tango joke--his internal censor went down, and he momentarily thought it was 1977 instead of 2018--and he hasn't written anything for a while. (No connection between the two, I don't think--he continued to write for months after the incident.)

clemenza, Monday, 14 December 2020 00:46 (three years ago) link

When he was concurrently writing for the National Review and The Advocate, it was striking that he still managed to write cogent, insightful reviews in the latter. Since getting the heave-ho, nothing I've seen him write is worthy of his talents.

On average, this critic grades 8.3 points lower than other critics (Eric H.), Monday, 14 December 2020 03:04 (three years ago) link

Armond’s reviews of the last few years have a light sprinkling of commentary about the topic at hand over a lot of axe grinding about whatever social stance was bugging him that day

mh, Monday, 14 December 2020 16:39 (three years ago) link

I like Edelstein too and he was the only print film critic who had no trouble translating to NPR's format.

Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 14 December 2020 17:35 (three years ago) link

he was very paulette-y in the 80s (to the extent that it was mildly irritating) but honestly it's not an awful route towards being a good critic once yr thinking abt films she wasn't writing abt

mark s, Monday, 14 December 2020 17:38 (three years ago) link

Edelstein can be good, yes

flappy bird, Thursday, 24 December 2020 18:37 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.nationalreview.com/2021/01/the-16th-annual-better-than-list/

"The due process denied President Trump"--and to put the very mediocre Creem documentary on the right side of the ledger suggests to me he doesn't really know a whole lot about Creem.

clemenza, Friday, 8 January 2021 16:44 (three years ago) link

George Wolfe’s adaptation of the August Wilson play reduces black American blues art to an agnostic monstrosity.

what the hell does this even mean

The weird thing is, even when I agree with him--and I agree with him quite often in this piece; I also thought First Cow, The Assistant, Mank, and The Trial of the Chicago 7 were overrated--I hate the way he seems to go out of his way to frame those films in a way that would appeal to National Review readers.

clemenza, Friday, 8 January 2021 17:00 (three years ago) link

reading the glorious insanity of this list is exactly the soothing balm i need after the last 2 days. god bless this american lunatic

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 8 January 2021 17:15 (three years ago) link

Soul is a BLM film because...it's about a black life that matters?

Langdon Alger Stole the Highlights (cryptosicko), Friday, 8 January 2021 17:42 (three years ago) link

hard to get worked up at the list this year considering i've seen like 4 of the movies on it

anyway, this is great, as is most of the things Adam Nayman writes: https://cinema-scope.com/features/minority-report-armond-white-wants-to-make-spielberg-great-again/

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Friday, 8 January 2021 17:51 (three years ago) link

A quick roundup of the worse-than films' transgressions: PC distractions, Kelly Reichardt condemns American capitalism as racist and homophobic, the brainwashing of black Americans, speciously equates contemporary politics with bygone grievance, privileged feminism and cultural thuggery, a Planned Parenthood commercial, anti-Trump hectoring, feeble Harvey Weinstein rumor for the #MeToo movement, political and cultural posturing, Spike Lee’s trendy BLM racism.

It's laughable. And not really film criticism.

clemenza, Friday, 8 January 2021 18:00 (three years ago) link

What a laff!

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Friday, 8 January 2021 18:04 (three years ago) link

Thanks for linking the Nayman piece; will read it when I get back home. I do love that White put out a Spielberg book that also includes some of his very early work in the '70s. Going thru it is like seeing a critic's entire rise and fall like no other single volume document I can think of.

(The entire last section of the book is simply titled "Obama," which of course.)

As per usual, a lot of the movies he holds up as "better than" are indeed interesting and/or great choices regardless of what's on the other side of the comparison.

2020: The Movie and The Plot Against the President > Time

But not all of them.

yeah its funny - aside from exceptions like that example, its not that he's always or even often wrong about the 'better thans', but instead its that the pairings just seem completely random, which makes the gobbledygook blurbs even more amusingly WTF

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 8 January 2021 21:11 (three years ago) link

When I saw Eighth Grade and Mid90s pretty close together a few years ago, and markedly preferred Mid90s (I did come around on Eighth Grade after a second viewing), I remember thinking "Hey, that's a perfect better-than pairing"--and then White ended up grouping both films together on the wrong side of some other film I can't remember. That made me smile.

I think the concept is fine, and I think Kael, without ever explicitly saying so, did some of that herself: she'd hold up one film as a superior to a related, more acclaimed film. You could even say that better-than was one of the driving forces of Sarris's auterism (Nicholas Ray's and Phil Karlson's socially-minded films were less celebrated and better than Stanley Kramer's and Elia Kazan's.) And of sabermetrics. And Chuck Eddy. And lots else.

It's just that with White, having followed at least this corner of his career for a few years, I can make up the list of his worse-than films beforehand. Anybody could--just make a list of the most acclaimed films of the year. Which isn't that interesting, even before he tacks on the I-see-through-this rationalizations.

clemenza, Friday, 8 January 2021 21:29 (three years ago) link

equate contemporary politics with bygone grievance

dude in Mangrove had been hassled and his businesses disrupted by cops for ten years before the court case, and continued to be for ten years after winning the case. Armond fails to see that the "courtroom drama" marks one moment in a long continuity for this member of the Mangrove Nine, even aside from his contention that black business owners and activists... no longer suffer violations of justice from provably lying law officers.

the Better Than rankings are indeed interesting and often otm. his argumgrievances are mostly garbage.

shivers me timber (sic), Friday, 8 January 2021 21:31 (three years ago) link

Disappointed to find that Armond White, whose maniacality has over the course of his long career always been interesting, has started to degenerate into extremely dull "the cleansing moral clarity of Sebastian Gorka" pablum

https://www.nationalreview.com/2020/12/review-the-plot-against-the-president-bridges-conservative-generation-gap/

The "better thans" are still enjoyable to read, though.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 18 January 2021 01:25 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

While the series focused on Hollywood production practices, making it easier to apply the same generalities as today’s “systemic racism” canard, TCM’s jurists had difficulty equating the primarily liberal bent of Hollywood employees with the imagined offenses pointed to in their films. That’s why the series dealt only with movies made before 1968, the implication being that contemporary Hollywood is totally enlightened and sin-free.

The second sentence here represents the one halfway reasonable point in this piece, though one I've already seen made by folks far less odious than White.

edited for dog profanity (cryptosicko), Sunday, 4 April 2021 22:09 (three years ago) link

Except that the second clause in the sentence does not in any way follow from the first. (Not even internally, in his implication that 55 years ago is "contemporary.")

armoured van, Holden (sic), Monday, 5 April 2021 00:46 (three years ago) link

In the context of depictions in race in movies I think that is fairly contemporary, sadly. A lot of sociopolitical problems we're dealing with now stalled out in the 1970s. look at Mother Küsters Goes to Heaven, from 1975: Fassbinder made the perfect denunciation of the media and the contemporary left in Germany at the time, and it's striking how similar it is to our situation. I don't think we've moved much beyond Guess Who's Coming to Dinner on one end and Death Wish on the other.

flappy bird, Sunday, 11 April 2021 07:00 (three years ago) link

Meanwhile, Armond’s heart is truly in the fourth coming of Zach Snyder and I fully expect him to turn out another three or four essays on the movie over the next month.

avatar of a kind of respectability homosexual culture (Eric H.), Sunday, 11 April 2021 16:24 (three years ago) link

Momentarily distracted by Morrissey's latest tantrum...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/the-simpsons-christmas-special/

But that little eco-terrorist vegan Lisa was always the show’s sponsored character, a stunt that liberal viewers enjoyed and conservative viewers tolerated. (Homer was its Archie Bunker.) Are the Simpsons colored yellow because the show is cowardly, its one-time edginess just a relic from before the days of PC fascism?

avatar of a kind of respectability homosexual culture (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 April 2021 13:06 (three years ago) link

another maniacal rhetorical question

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 April 2021 13:07 (three years ago) link

One Simpsons actor apologized to the nation of India for the portrayal of the Apu character, yet the show’s producers have never apologized for the Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders characters that trash Christianity.

avatar of a kind of respectability homosexual culture (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 April 2021 13:08 (three years ago) link

kind of surprised there hasnt been some kind of armond reference on the simpsons by now tbh

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Wednesday, 21 April 2021 13:31 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

This doesn't make sense in a way--Point Blank is emblematic of the kinds of films that end up on the right side of better-thans--but if Armond White were writing about 1967 today, I bet he'd pair it with Buzz Kulik's Warning Shot and give the nod to Kulik. (Actually, retrospectively doing year-by-year better-thans would be really interesting...with, for me, someone other than Armond White.)

clemenza, Sunday, 4 July 2021 02:44 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Kinda ... not maniacal? And pretty honest about what's alluring about this movie and its main character?

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/ferris-buellers-day-off/1/

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 15:17 (two years ago) link

stopped reading after the first graf

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 15:19 (two years ago) link

J/K. But hoo boy:

This montage of all-American amenities is lavish but strikingly common. It is what members of BLM and Antifa derive from and in fact envy.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 15:23 (two years ago) link

I mean, it's a putrid stance, but it speaks to the mindset that the movie's appealing to in a way that goes beyond the well-established "but Ferris is the VILLAIN!" bit.

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 15:24 (two years ago) link

"Ferris is the villain" only popular in film crit circles. I've never a non-crit person who disliked him.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 15:26 (two years ago) link

and, actually, I agree, with misgivings, it's Hughes' best film.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 15:27 (two years ago) link

It would not be surprising to find that Ferris Bueller was a favorite film among a range of luminaries; Ferris’s like can be seen in the styles of John Roberts, Robert Francis O’Rourke, Drake, Billie Eilish, and David Hogg, who all reflect American acquisitiveness, aspiration, and individual (perhaps even reckless) choice.

edited for dog profanity (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 17:24 (two years ago) link

Yup, first thing I think of re David Hogg is his recklessness about flaunting his individual choice.

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 17:36 (two years ago) link

The first thing I think of re David Hogg is how reckless I'd like to be with him flaunting it.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 17:41 (two years ago) link

(note that the hormonal sci-fi of Hughes’s Weird Science is superior to anything from the Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Wouldn't be an Armond White review without at least one of these...

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 17:44 (two years ago) link

I don't know if I think Bueller is a villain but I do think he's a dick and I'm not a film critic

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 17:49 (two years ago) link

Read the review and it made me kind of sad; the old Armond was too original and zingy to recycle the same boring shit you can find in the institutional right wing; there are flashes of the old White here but there are moments where it could be Tucker Carlson and there's enough of that already.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 17:52 (two years ago) link

there are flashes of the old White here

Yeah, I think this is what I responded to here, the semblance of an argument built from the evidence of the movie, for a change.

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Wednesday, 4 August 2021 18:17 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

We need Chuck now. Heston remembered. https://t.co/cYHVEEbBXm pic.twitter.com/RxKnUzvu0C

— armond white (@3xchair) August 20, 2021

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Friday, 20 August 2021 23:07 (two years ago) link

otm

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 21 August 2021 02:01 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Fauci is a "despot" people

A lesson in media trickery: How National Geographics'#Fauci sells a political despot to film culture. Read it only here: @NatGeoUS @DrFaucis1 @lizgarbus pic.twitter.com/wW7weaSjNG

— armond white (@3xchair) September 10, 2021

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Friday, 10 September 2021 22:42 (two years ago) link

(I can only assume the tagging of dummy accounts is deliberate.)

i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Friday, 10 September 2021 22:43 (two years ago) link

He says "Read it only here:" but then didn't include a link?

Piven After Midnight (The Yellow Kid), Friday, 10 September 2021 22:50 (two years ago) link

Hated his Nomadland review. He takes a 40-second bit of speechifying, and that becomes the platform for his typical National Review suck-up review--couldn't even see it as, at the very least, a good road film.

clemenza, Sunday, 12 September 2021 00:04 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

If you don't think the Alec Baldwin t-shirt is a brilliantly funny, justified riposte, you probably enjoy SNL, Samantha Bee, Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, The Daily Show, Jimmy Fallon and Bill Maher. @DonaldJTrumpJr @nbcsnl pic.twitter.com/VURC7TIsPf

— armond white (@3xchair) October 25, 2021

Milm & Foovies (Eric H.), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 14:15 (two years ago) link

gosh he's right

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 14:28 (two years ago) link

is that Tim Heidecker on the left?

Typo? Negative! (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 14:29 (two years ago) link

xp lol I was gonna say, but glad I didn't have to say

Milm & Foovies (Eric H.), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 14:29 (two years ago) link

Alt-White

the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 16:24 (two years ago) link

I would love to see an AW review of Malcolm & Marie (isn't one, evidently). I think it would make him apoplectic...except maybe the "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" rule would apply: the film seems to be hated by some of the same lefty critics White hates, so maybe he'd contort himself into defending the film.

clemenza, Wednesday, 27 October 2021 01:43 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Wasn't sure whether to bump this thread, the detrius thread or an Obama thread...

https://www.nationalreview.com/2021/12/obamas-13-commandments/

Here it is again. The annual list event: “Barack Obama’s Favorite Movies of 2021.” Is he competing with journalists’ awards season? Or is this uncalled-for missive-to-the-masses simply another way to convince them that the King of Kalorama thinks just like they do? A critic-friend reacted to the announcement breviloquently: “‘God’ weighs in.”

It’s always amusing to see how Team Obama keeps its grip on the culture. This yearly lecture from on high is conceived to show Obama’s smarter-than-a-populist diversions. It lines up with mainstream-media tastes. Like pollsters and advance men, Team Obama shrewdly suss out what appeals to the media and what can be sold as hipness — the same way pet social policies are promoted during election campaigns.

The odd thing about Obama’s annual Ten Commandments (now an inclusive 13 Commandments) is that it’s always aimed toward cultural “improvement,” at demonstrating evolved taste. This arts version of progressivism resembles the Soviet knack for Socialist Realism.

Let’s break it down:

Drive My Car tops the list, suggesting that Japanese artistes imitating Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya are more refined than you. This undeniable art-movie snobbery disregards Eddie Murphy’s wonderful Coming 2 America (or might that African inheritance comedy resurrect the dread Birth Certificate controversy?)

Summer of Soul celebrates black music to prove one’s ethnic authenticity, a facile con-job preferable to Belfast’s white nostalgia, the family half we don’t talk about.

West Side Story keeps America’s past racist shame alive. Honoring old friend Spielberg who “fundamentally transforms” the classic musical according to Obama’s vision of the fractured U.S. It’s also belated thanks for the Obama deification in The BFG. (c.f. Make Spielberg Great Again.)

The Power of the Dog slams American history and toxic masculinity, hiding behind the skirts of Jane Campion’s copycat feminism.

Pig distracts from that Bill Ayers, old-time radical police slur with a backstory for fine-dining gratuity, an elite’s politically correct euphemism for leaving a “tip.”

Passing mixes racial and gender identity while paying tribute to outdated black literature.

The Card Counter condemns the Iraq War, the U.S. military, the carceral system, and flirts with interracial sex. A quadruple campaign platform.

Judas and the Black Messiah distorts Sixties black activism. Funny that the new Messiah himself likes it.

The Worst Person in the World is an ironic justification of personal peccadilloes regardless of popular approval.

Old Henry replaces Faulkner’s race profundity with new American antipathy. This corrupted, unpopular Western proves these films are not consensus favorites.

The Last Duel is a chic feminist rewrite of history. Its analogy asks: Can Michelle replace Hillary?

The Tragedy of Macbeth is low-hanging fruit. If you make the obvious comparison, it either gets called a conspiracy theory or you get canceled.

C’Mon, C’Mon tells a story that’s such a broken-family, broken-nation coincidence that it easily resembles a Barack-Michelle public-service announcement.

Quo Vadis, Aida? Huh? Its Serbian subject — reviewing Bosnia’s tragedy — reminds us that foreign policy is never far from Obama’s thoughts. But why this and not Zola to give a nod to the trans activists incensed by Dave Chappelle?

No sane person believes Obama actually saw and judged the films for himself. All these choices are demagogic, geared toward endearing the electorate. The list perpetuates bias, devotion, and gullibility. That’s how movies and politics work.

Team Obama must think Hollywood needs to be reminded that the great renaissance man is on its side and that his constituents need improved taste. Or does the former president only want your fealty?

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 22:46 (two years ago) link

“Pig distracts from that Bill Ayers, old-time radical police slur with a backstory for fine-dining gratuity, an elite’s politically correct euphemism for leaving a “tip.””

this is the worst sentence i have ever read in my entire life

STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 22:49 (two years ago) link

Drive My Car tops the list, suggesting that Japanese artistes imitating Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya are more refined than you.

he's on the sauce, is that it

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 22:52 (two years ago) link

love this guy tbh!

calzino, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 22:55 (two years ago) link

No sane person believes

How would Armond White know what sane people believe?

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 23:15 (two years ago) link

The Last Duel is a chic feminist rewrite of history. Its analogy asks: Can Michelle replace Hillary?

this is actually very funny and I respect his commitment to what he does much more than I do with a bullshit wanker like Peter Bradshaw. Even if I'm straining to work out how the fuck he came to this mad summary!

calzino, Thursday, 23 December 2021 01:45 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

It's "better than" list time ...

Movie culture reached a turning point in 2021 where the glut of content, streaming or in theaters, overwhelmed concerns about quality, craft, and the destructive messages being sold to us. Film artists competed with virtue-signaling, and political distraction was confused with emotional and visual satisfaction.

This year’s Better-Than List is, more than ever, a reminder of the standards we must hold to keep our sanity and to maintain culture that preserves our humanity and morality. Every Better-Than choice offers alternatives to deceit, ineptitude, and nihilism.

About Endlessness > Dune, The Green Knight
Roy Andersson’s series of comic-tragic tableaux depict the modern Christian quest for salvation that is abandoned by Denis Villeneuve’s inexpressive sci-fi and David Lowery’s fractured mythology. Most sci-fi movies, like pseudo-myths, are about meaninglessness.

Annette > West Side Story
Leos Carax’s ravishing existential opera addresses artistic crisis, that creative challenge that Steven Spielberg’s remake turns into no-hope social-justice platitudes.

Coming 2 America > Judas and the Black Messiah
Eddie Murphy and Craig Brewer’s superior sequel hilariously corrects Hollywood’s fashionable, insulting race hustle. The year’s best Hollywood movie is a welcoming diaspora comedy.

Shoplifters of the World > Licorice Pizza
Stephen Kijak’s tribute to The Smiths captures the inextinguishable flame of pop-culture fraternity, going deeper than Paul Thomas Anderson’s clever ’70s period piece.

France > Drive My Car
Bruno Dumont’s media heroine reveals contemporary psychic turmoil while Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s Chekhov imitation distracts from it. Dumont mixes genres to pungent effect while Hamaguchi tells the wrong story and lards it with “art.”

Summer of 85 > Belfast
François Ozon revisits ’80s AIDS-era innocence for a bold cultural confession, while Kenneth Branagh turns Irish ethnic conflict into totally inauthentic pop nostalgia.

Sin > Benedetta, House of Gucci
Andrei Mikhalkov-Konchalovsky’s awesome Michelangelo biopic explores the price and sacrifice of achieving greatness. Paul Verhoeven and Ridley Scott exploit the business of religion and fashion for shameless Euro-trash.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League, Army of the Dead, Army of Thieves > No Time to Die
Snyder finally got his chance to fulfill the visionary possibilities of pop myths, but the James Bond franchise-holders kill off the formerly fun, expressive brand.

Georgetown > The Card Counter
Christoph Waltz’s unsparing Beltway satire is more humane than Paul Schrader’s wallow in way-late recriminations about the Iraq War.

Love Is Love Is Love > Passing, The Lost Daughter
Eleanor Coppola’s wisdom about female experience is missing from Rebecca Hall’s and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s miserable tales about racial and gender identity. Coppola doesn’t fit the feminist model, she transcends it.

Saint-Narcisse > The Power of the Dog
Bruce LaBruce dares explore the mystique of sexual identity, creating his own, rich mythology, but Jane Campion demeans the Western genre as if to justify the misandry and homophobia of pseudo-feminism.

Sublet > Parallel Mothers
Eytan Fox forces a haughty New York Times journalist in Israel to rethink his place in the world, but Almodóvar’s bisexual melodrama turns his usual charm into a pretext for lamenting Spain’s Fascist past. Remarkable compassion vs. embarrassing guilt.

Licorice Pizza > The Worst Person in the World
Anderson’s wild, evocative anecdotes about freewheeling youth best Joachim Trier’s exploits that tirelessly defend self-obsessed Millennials. It’s the difference between romance and cynicism.

Dear Comrades! > The Tragedy of Macbeth
Konchalovsky’s view of recent Soviet history (featuring a powerful performance by Yuliya Vysotskaya) parallels the contemporary U.S. Communist threat, but Joel Coen traduces Shakespeare to flatter contemporary U.S. political trends. A vibrant history lesson vs. a lesson in thespian vanity.

Pig > King Richard
Nicolas Cage’s artisan-avenger makes Michael Sarnoski’s folktale a fable about personal conviction, but Will Smith misses the point in his latest egotistical biopic.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Saturday, 8 January 2022 00:40 (two years ago) link

his binaries are more awful than ever

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:00 (two years ago) link

Almodóvar’s bisexual melodrama turns his usual charm into a pretext for lamenting Spain’s Fascist past.

he's such a sloppy wrier these days I'm not even sure he even means the consequences of this sentence

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:01 (two years ago) link

I'm such a sloppy wrier these days

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:01 (two years ago) link

Had not heard of Georgetown or (maybe other than a 2019 festival mention) Love is Love is Love until now. Curious about both.

... (Eazy), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:32 (two years ago) link

I'm not curious enough about either of those films to pay to watch them

Dan S, Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:42 (two years ago) link

Having Licorice Pizza show up at both ends of a pairing is kind of neat...although I seem to recall him doing that before.

clemenza, Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:47 (two years ago) link

It's "better than" list time ...

What a relief! I literally just now said "Oh no" to myself seeing the revive, worrying that he'd written something pissy about Poitier (and why that I don't know).

Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:57 (two years ago) link

I haven't seen Georgetown but hThe Card Counter was very disappointing.

but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 8 January 2022 02:05 (two years ago) link

Not having seen many of these, they don’t look on paper as crazy as his takes usually are. I can definitely believe Pig (seen) is better than King Richard (haven’t seen), tho pairing them doesn’t make any obvious sense despite his explanation.

Maybe his editor said he wasn't allowed to call Will Smith a sex pig in print.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Saturday, 8 January 2022 15:48 (two years ago) link

Armond White hasn't had an editor since the New York Press folded.

but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 8 January 2022 15:54 (two years ago) link

"the formerly fun, expressive brand"

all bonds are bad

mark s, Sunday, 9 January 2022 11:59 (two years ago) link

Maybe as close to cogent or at least predictable as he's been in awhile?

What Is the Worst Film of 2021? That's easy. It's Don't Look Up.
Adam McKay wages civil war, Hollywood style.

Readers have asked why the Better-Than List did not include a Bad Luck Banging > Don’t Look Up entry. My answer comes from W. C. Fields: “Too blatant.”

Radu Jude’s funny, shocking essay on Covid-era lunacy and its political roots was third-rail satire that found little public and media response. That old theater maxim “Satire is what closes on Saturday” seems relevant but off the mark when mainstream culture is incapable of appreciating satire.

Don’t Look Up is Netflix’s evasive, misstated excuse for political satire that fails very badly because writer-director Adam McKay doesn’t grasp his own political prejudices. Unlike Jude, McKay has no real sense of humor, just sophomoric ridicule. He brazenly broadcasts the entitled sense of obnoxiousness encouraged in Hollywood or Broadway environs, where liberalism has turned into progressivism. And as essayist David Horowitz observed, “inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out.”

Romanian esthete Jude knows what totalitarianism looks like, but self-satisfied American McKay thinks totalitarianism looks like progress. That’s why Don’t Look Up’s score-settling jokes are off. The premise, in which a team of astrophysicists (Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence) discover a comet headed for collision with Earth and try to warn the president of the United States (Meryl Streep), is so deeply earnest — yet facetious — that it’s humorless. DiCaprio and Lawrence fear that only six months and 14 days remain for mankind, echoing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s warning that we all have only 12 years left before humanity collapses. The warnings go unheeded, because we are not as smart as them.

McKay’s “climate crisis” is more narrow-minded than Jude’s survey of media-madness and lockdown hysteria. McKay pokes fun at the end of the world the same way that progressives employ threats instead of making humanist appeals to reason. The film’s negativity indicts McKay and insults his audience.

Don’t Look Up’s better-than-you comedy reveals the nastiness of liberals who cannot abide difference of opinion. Experts DiCaprio and Lawrence (a bloated egotist and a hipster egotist) sneer at “climate deniers,” creating their own coterie of bourgeois elite, spending the end-times at an elite dinner among new civil-war separatists. All who oppose them are fools, including an executive branch leader who is essentially of their own kind — depicted by Streep with lofty giddiness.

Given Streep’s strained buffoonery, we might realize how the media coddles Puppet President Joe for the express purpose of holding on to power. This pragmatic, disdainful maneuver, a stealthy coup against public consciousness, exceeds McKay’s capacity for insight. But note that it’s achieved only through media complicity — the temerity familiar from late-night talk shows and TV propaganda mills such as Saturday Night Live (McKay’s breeding ground). Although McKay avoids skewering his own profession, by now it’s apparent that establishment comedians have restructured comedy into thin-skinned self-righteousness (as with the cackling Disney villainesses on The View). They can’t resist forcing their predictable politics on the public.

In Bad Luck Banging, Jude presented a three-part argument that included documentary realism. But McKay’s doomsday fantasy offers know-it-all-ism under the guise of absurdity, then makes the error of using annihilation as an analogy for climate change. This is not just ridiculous, it lacks the sensitive character detail of broad satire like Dr. Strangelove.

That’s the reason McKay goes for a pompous, all-star spectacle. As in 2018’s Vice, his hateful, too-early tirade against the Dick Cheney clan, Don’t Look Up boasts a marquee roster. These liberal Hollywood fellow-travelers are the least appealing cast of any movie this century.

It’s a showcase of those who’ve already committed deceitful grandstanding (Streep, Lawrence, DiCaprio) or who are lower-level deceivers (Thimothée Chalamet, Cate Blanchett, Tyler Perry, Jonah Hill, and Mark Rylance as a Fauci-Gates-Bezos composite like his cloying character in Ready Player One).

Every caricature, teetering between silliness and arrogance, lacks farcical dimension; it’s the shrillness of virtue-signaling celebrities telling us how to feel and what we should think. McKay relies on their fame and misapplies their skills — unlike the believably harried city folk in Bad Luck Banging and the panoply of all-American types in Tim Burton’s social, cultural, political extravaganza Mars Attacks. These are the Great Obliviots — overpaid performers so oblivious to state of the world actually happening around them that they exaggerate pandemonium beyond recognition.(The only obnoxious leftists missing are Robert DeNiro, George Clooney, Alec Baldwin, and Mark Ruffalo.)

But the fault is not only in these stars; they’re following McKay’s humiliating orders. His topical sarcasm about bureaucratic infighting (grifting military advisers, a lone black political operative) neither earns our cynicism nor justifies offending our sensibilities. McKay is, in fact, topically retarded. The White House–Beltway jokes are far behind The West Wing’s; the scientific-paranoia gags don’t improve on War Games or Minority Report; his fear of the future mimics Year One, Armageddon, and Deep Impact. His pretense of unsparing showbiz parody doesn’t match our gobsmacked sense of the ridiculous: Ariana Grande playing an opportunistic pop star singing at a political event in a feather gown doesn’t compare with her performance in a black tutu at Aretha Franklin’s funeral while ogled at by Jesse Jackson and Bill Clinton.

Because we’ve already crossed the Rubicon, McKay’s browbeating us about it feels redundant and wimpy. He cowardly identifies the New York Times as “The New York Herald,” defanging any satire of media blowhards. Then he completely avoids the ramifications of Big Tech’s First Amendment clampdown — implicitly accepting the calamitous censorship of the president of the United States. Only climate-crisis folderol matters.

We are far ahead of McKay, because the worst has already happened — the end of liberty, honesty, election integrity, science, gender, and religion. An apocalyptic comedy by atheist liberals doesn’t even come close to being scary, or a plausible allegory.

McKay has fashioned himself a niche as Hollywood’s premier political reactionary. The Big Short was his overweening, unintelligible reaction to the 2008 recession. Vice was his Bush 43 revenge-kill, targeting a subordinate. Vice may have preempted a Trump satire by McKay, but the Derangement Syndrome is strong in this guy. Laudatory reviews for Don’t Look Up mean that McKay isn’t likely to stop clowning, even though Nancy Pelosi ripping up President Trump’s State of the Union address on TV, kneeling at the Capitol in a kente-cloth shawl, or later praising George Floyd’s “sacrifice” make more effective, dangerous, absurdist jokes than McKay.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 22:57 (two years ago) link

Laudatory reviews for Don’t Look Up

Most of the reviews I've seen have been, at best, lukewarm?

Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:05 (two years ago) link

Most of the reviews I've seen have been, at best, lukewarm?

No, no; everything Armond dislikes has been otherwise universally praised, because Armond is a Brave, Truth-Telling Contrarian, and that's how it works.

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:10 (two years ago) link

As in 2018’s Vice, his hateful, too-early tirade against the Dick Cheney clan

HAHA

Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:11 (two years ago) link

Yeah--it's fiction to pretend this has been mostly well reviewed. There was a piece someone sent me last week complaining about how all the bad reviews are missing the point. (An interesting piece itself insofar as the guy seems clueless as to the function of criticism.)

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2021/12/critics-of-dont-look-up-are-missing-the-entire-point

clemenza, Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:12 (two years ago) link

_As in 2018’s Vice, his hateful, too-early tirade against the Dick Cheney clan_


HAHA

LOL, I missed that gem.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:17 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Reviews the Poly Styrene documentary:

https://www.nationalreview.com/2022/02/the-poly-styrene-story-is-a-lesson-for-us-all/

I'm glad to see a lengthy review from anyone, and I still haven't been able to see the film. Positioning the Poly Styrene of 1978 as a counter to the Neil Young of 2022 strikes me as somewhat ridiculous--I suspect Poly Styrene would be taking exactly the same actions herself if she were alive--and the Poly Styrene of 1978 vs. the Neil Young of 1978, that's hardly so clear-cut either. Anyway, I'm glad he likes it. I do wonder what he'd be writing if the documentary takes off to great acclaim and he were reviewing it six months from now.

clemenza, Wednesday, 2 February 2022 21:38 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Big swing alert!

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/the-godfather/1/

On the 50th anniversary of Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather, it is worth reexamining the film’s haunting opening. A face emerges from shadow and speaks: “I believe in America.” The moment is even more haunting now, when our major institutions, corporations, and even mainstream Hollywood promote America-hating nonbelief — as in the destructive, nihilistic mythologies of Spotlight, 12 Years a Slave, Moonlight, The Shape of Water, Nomadland, The Power of the Dog, as well as the subversions of the 1619 Project.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:15 (two years ago) link

Oh.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:17 (two years ago) link

The Godfather, a rebuke to all the America-hating going on today (and in 1972).

(I'm sure his argument is not as ludicrous as that.)

clemenza, Friday, 18 March 2022 14:23 (two years ago) link

I wouldn't be so sure.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:26 (two years ago) link

"I believe in America," says the father petitioning America's biggest mob boss for a hit.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:28 (two years ago) link

This is a hint that his next move is to have the New York Film Critics Circle Awards ceremony massacred by helicopter attack.

Halfway there but for you, Friday, 18 March 2022 14:34 (two years ago) link

In the essential struggle out of society’s crushing anonymity, the American dream can turn to nightmare.

he would know

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 18 March 2022 16:17 (two years ago) link

I sort of unironically love this?

It was great writing for First Things. https://t.co/uflnZTuD8F pic.twitter.com/DrhWsMyUGw

— Armond White (@3xchair) March 21, 2022

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Monday, 21 March 2022 23:34 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Who could possibly be surprised?

Don't expect a better American movie in 2022 than Father Stu. #FatherStuMovie https://t.co/7JLVIrKbpW pic.twitter.com/aMq14yoJbt

— Armond White (@3xchair) April 20, 2022

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:40 (two years ago) link

Would rather read him about Disco Stu

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:44 (two years ago) link

Tom Scharpling was riffing on the trailer on a recent episode of his podcast, and all I kept thinking was that this movie was going to be huge and would inspire a month of think-pieces on contemporary Hollywood's disdain for "faith-based" entertainment (as if this isn't basically the same movie as CODA and King Richard).

Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:51 (two years ago) link

"A career peak for Mark Wahlberg"... wow!!

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:59 (two years ago) link

"it’s not preaching to the choir. It’s got F-bombs, so you do have to weather those things to get to the jewel.”

Yep, we sure don't see people purporting to be members of the choir dropping F-bombs in today's America.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 April 2022 19:14 (two years ago) link

According to The-Numbers, the film earned $5.4 million its opening weekend. The film would earn a total of $7.7 million in its first five days given it opened on Wednesday, April 13th.

Not exactly The Passion 2.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 April 2022 19:57 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/lightyear-2022/

Lightyear proves that the folks at Pixar and Disney are past masters at audience manipulation, now known as “grooming.”

Yeah, that's not what people are using the word "grooming" to insinuate.

Eggs Benedick (Eric H.), Friday, 17 June 2022 13:28 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Father Stu aside, this seems like a highly non-maniacal mid-year list: https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/list/mid-year-reckoning-2022/

Bait Kush (Eric H.), Wednesday, 13 July 2022 14:11 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Idiot Chalamet has not yet had a popular hit. Only Hollywood media likes him and reward him with attention. #DenyChalamet https://t.co/HpsGyRiIPR

— Armond White (@3xchair) September 2, 2022

papal hotwife (milo z), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:41 (one year ago) link

I guess Dune was a bust?

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:47 (one year ago) link

And Little Women?

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:53 (one year ago) link

OK, I shouldn't have read the last month of tweets. We shouldn't even link to him anymore.

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:57 (one year ago) link

I was searching something today and his Licorice Pizza review came up. (He liked it.) Opening sentence: "Paul Thomas Anderson’s most famous films, Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood, cursed America."

Whether you love, hate, or are indifferent to Boogie Nights, I don't see how you can view it as a curse on America. I mean, if you hate it, one of the reasons might be that it views the porn industry as a nurturing, extended family. One of the main reasons I love it are joyous moments like "Those are great names!" (or the serenity of the final tracking shot through Burt Reynolds' house). It's not a mean or judgmental film at all.

clemenza, Saturday, 3 September 2022 00:41 (one year ago) link

OK, I shouldn't have read the last month of tweets. We shouldn't even link to him anymore.

I mean, this one is pretty funny, regardless of intention.

Just watched a TV trivia game show in which no one remembered Sandra Bullock's #Netflix hit @Birdbox. pic.twitter.com/APrPNkTkXh

— Armond White (@3xchair) September 1, 2022

Bait Kush (Eric H.), Saturday, 3 September 2022 16:17 (one year ago) link

It's not a mean or judgmental film at all.

Not saying it's "mean" to condemn a pedophile, but the film's epilogue specifically exists to reward the good-hearted characters and punish the bad. If anything, it's too insistent on the audience finding the majority of the characters as lovable as the filmmakers do.

Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 3 September 2022 17:40 (one year ago) link

The Colonel meets with a bad end, of course, but that's about it. Anyway, your last sentence makes the same point that I do: it's not a film that, love it or despise it, "cursed America." (There Will Be Blood, sure.)

clemenza, Saturday, 3 September 2022 18:08 (one year ago) link

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/04/review-freaks-and-geeks-documentary-show-made-nihilism-cool/

Haven't read it yet, but--after a slow start for the first three or four episodes--Freaks & Geeks is great. So I'm counting on lots of maniacal stuff in there.

clemenza, Thursday, 15 September 2022 17:03 (one year ago) link

That review's actually four years old...I went looking for a Godard comment from White, and that was at the top of his Twitter page for some reason.

clemenza, Thursday, 15 September 2022 17:07 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Armond's now retweeting Lara Logan and Don Jr. He's gone.

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Wednesday, 23 November 2022 22:12 (one year ago) link

Armond has been gone since this thread started.

castanuts (DJP), Friday, 25 November 2022 14:31 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

His She Said review is, well, maniacal, topped off by this: "She Said follows that specious line of media self-celebration that began with All the President’s Men, the most overrated film in American movie history." Didn't he stop to consider that AtPM is the kind of film that's being pushed to the margins of the Sight & Sound poll? I think he's going to short-circuit and explode soon as he tries to balance all these crusades.

https://www.nationalreview.com/2022/11/she-saids-celebrity-grudge-match/

clemenza, Sunday, 11 December 2022 23:01 (one year ago) link

AtPM was already well on the margins of the S&S poll before this year

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Monday, 12 December 2022 00:24 (one year ago) link

"the kind of film"--i.e., I'm speaking more generally there.

clemenza, Monday, 12 December 2022 01:07 (one year ago) link

Ah right, New Hollywood and all. Carry on

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Monday, 12 December 2022 01:18 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

As per usual, his better-than list remains one of the comparatively reasonably/useful things he does any longer:

Throughout 2022, it felt as if Hollywood was daring us to go to the movies. Commercial films either offended one’s intelligence or failed to entertain. When the prestige movie glut began during awards season, it was obvious that most filmmakers were interested only in their own political bias, wrongly assuming that the public would buy it.

Examining the invasion of arrogance, incompetence, and obnoxiousness (and Sight & Sound’s feminist putsch) is both the work and pleasure of criticism — especially needed as the culture tilts toward collapse.

Making a status-quo Ten Best list would be delusional, but this year’s Better-Than List sets antidote against poison, hope against despair. It challenges media hype with good cinema alternatives.

Benediction > Tár

Terence Davies’s opulent Siegfried Sassoon biopic is also a powerful personal reflection on the director’s spiritual, sexual struggle. That same concept becomes so histrionic in Todd Field’s snob-culture take-down, it ridicules itself. Bravo to Jack Lowdon’s silent monologue — the performance of the year.

Father Stu > Everything Everywhere All at Once

Rosalind Ross directs Mark Wahlberg as Father Stuart Long, whose funny and moving religious conversion found real-life, real-cinema faith (Mel Gibson and Jacki Weaver complete the road-to-Damascus jubilation). But the Daniels team in Everything preferred cut-rate Buddhism over Christianity, wasting Michelle Yeoh in a chaotic, faithless, exhaustingly unfunny superheroine jamboree.

Ambulance > Top Gun: Maverick

Michael Bay rescues the American ideal with cinematic brio and working-class brotherhood while Tom Cruise repurposed ’80s junk as America First desperation. Bay’s dazzling vision is superlative. Anyone who doesn’t realize that Maverick is silly is just being silly.

Marx Can Wait > The Fabelmans

Marco Bellocchio’s personal family-tragedy doc reveals the depths of his artistic impulses, yet Spielberg’s indulgence of his own oft-repeated Freudian-Marxist legend (via Tony Kushner) rings totally false.

Dead for a Dollar > The Woman King

Walter Hill’s esoteric Western dramatizes modern America’s conflicting race, sex, and history myths anchored by Rachel Brosnahan’s defiant agency, the opposite of Gina Prince-Bythewood’s misandrist Afro-eccentricity.

Petit Maman > Aftersun

Celine Sciamma’s storybook fantasy intuits a child’s uncanny adult empathy, besting Charlotte Well’s unfocussed, amateurish pretend home movie. A mother-and-child reunion vs. father–daughter estrangement.

Big Bug > Nope

Jean-Pierre Jeunet makes the first great satire of the Covid-era lockdown and Big Tech enslavement. Jordan Peele looks for and curses Hollywood racism while fumbling sci-fi genre tropes.

Nitram > The Banshees of Inisherin

Justin Kurzel probes the psychic roots of an unnerving 1996 New Zealand mass murder through amazing characterizations. Martin McDonagh exploits Irish misanthropy, concocting tribal fakelore.

Raymond & Ray > Babylon

Rodrigo García’s poignant sibling drama unites a broken family and heals a broken land with compassion (not “community”) — a Borzage film for the Millennium. Damien Chazelle’s phony, overwrought history of Hollywood celebrates a broken film industry but degrades its legacy.

My Donkey, My Lover & I > EO

Caroline Vignal’s road movie follows a single woman’s love hunt through the profundity of movie romanticism (from Robert Bresson to Howard Hawks). Jerzy Skolimowski’s updated remake of a Bresson classic is strictly for nihilists.

Crimes of the Future > Decision to Leave

David Cronenberg’s analogy to decadent cinema laments society’s lost morality while Park Chan-wook’s slick, grotesque policier is decadence itself.

Lost Illusions > She Said

Xavier Giannoli’s 19th-century Balzac adaptation exposes corrupt media then and now while Maria Schrader clumsily turns New York Times reporters into petulant feminist Wooodward-Bernsteins.

Poly Styrene: I Am a Cliché, Personality Crisis: One Night Only > All the Beauty and the Bloodshed

Salutes to two pop music artists (X-Ray Spex and David Johansen) are preferable to Laura Poitras’s nauseating politicization of cultural pseud-activist Nan Goldin. Enjoy the rock ’n’ roll and beware the derangement syndrome.

My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time

Robert Davi’s compassionate critique of an unignorable political scandal shames James Gray’s made-up TDS scandal. Doofus Gray’s America-hating autobiography is Fabelmans for dullards.

Great Freedom > The Eternal Daughter

Sebastian Meise recalls the lifelong radicalism of one man (Franz Rogowski), but Joanna Hogg’s metaphysical slog is just sub–Sofia Coppola navel-gazing.

Peaceful > The Whale

Emmanuelle Bercot concentrates on the wide impact of the mortality of an artist/father/son (Benoit Magimel). Darren Aronofsky’s embarrassing romp through all social-victim categories pretends spiritual uplift.

Peter von Kant > Tár

Just when we’ve lost sight of art’s purpose, actor Denis Ménochet’s vivid emotionalism breaks through Brecht’s vaunted V-Effekt and director François Ozon transforms Fassbinder’s own alienation devices. Cate Blanchett and Todd Field get tangled in their own false sophistication, a sign of bad times.

Bones and All > The Menu

Luca Guadagnino’s teen-cannibals-in-love movie says more about Gen Z apathy than Adam McKay’s latest failed greedy-bourgeois satire.

Tár is this year's winner of the "multiple better-than list slams" derby.

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Friday, 6 January 2023 17:35 (one year ago) link

Prejudices and bigotry not in full bloom throughout but for him only merely hinted at this time (relatively speaking)

omar little, Friday, 6 January 2023 17:42 (one year ago) link

Basically yeah. Also, "Tom Cruise repurposed ’80s junk as America First desperation ... Anyone who doesn’t realize that Maverick is silly is just being silly" is his "one for me" given his forum/audience.

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Friday, 6 January 2023 17:47 (one year ago) link

I’m glad his personality defects have given him a safe space free from pushback and a paycheck.

Also:

But the Daniels team in Everything preferred cut-rate Buddhism over Christianity

Man what decent human wouldn’t these days

omar little, Friday, 6 January 2023 17:51 (one year ago) link

On the other hand, there is also the first tangible evidence that he will, ultimately, re-evaluate the works of Dinesh D'Souza someday soon ...

My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time
My Son Hunter > Armageddon Time

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Friday, 6 January 2023 17:55 (one year ago) link

lol would be surprised if he hasn’t gone there already

I guess my thing is AW now uses criticism as a mere delivery system for rallying bigoted forces to a fascist cause, he rode the pipeline in such a predictable and mediocre fashion and his career has a tragic arc. Reading flappy’s defenses upthread also reminds me there are plenty of people who love to see a good rant and don’t care about the collateral damage.

omar little, Friday, 6 January 2023 18:16 (one year ago) link

I guess my thing is AW now uses criticism as a mere delivery system for rallying bigoted forces to a fascist cause, he rode the pipeline in such a predictable and mediocre fashion and his career has a tragic arc.

This is exactly right. It's not even "blind pig finds acorn"/"broken clock is right twice a day" — there's absolutely no value in his opinions anymore. Even if you agree with him politically, his table-pounding is so fucking tedious. That said, I've been meaning to see Dead For A Dollar anyway, and now I want to know more about Nitram.

but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 6 January 2023 18:39 (one year ago) link

exhaustingly unfunny superheroine jamboree.

well, this is the exact correct summation of everything everywhere

J0rdan S., Friday, 6 January 2023 18:49 (one year ago) link

AW now uses criticism as a mere delivery system for rallying bigoted forces to a fascist cause

Wow, well put.

These pairings make less sense than ever, in large part because he's collapsed so badly as a writer; a good writer can connect disparate things.

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 January 2023 19:21 (one year ago) link

Yeah and he’s collapsed partially because he’s way too concerned about making sure he leaves space for anti-trans/anti-female/anti-sexual assault victims/etc in his non-reviews

omar little, Friday, 6 January 2023 19:26 (one year ago) link

To be honest I never thought much of him as a writer, he was never very good at specifics of cinema and his opinions were dishonest and based upon the reactions of others. For example hence his championing of the unknown, not distributed Hurt Locker curdling into distaste as soon as it started getting positive notices from everyone else.

omar little, Friday, 6 January 2023 19:29 (one year ago) link

Big Tech enslavement

God is there somebody particularly stupid about America reactionary thinking more than the usual

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Friday, 6 January 2023 20:14 (one year ago) link

Yeah and he’s collapsed partially because he’s way too concerned about making sure he leaves space for anti-trans/anti-female/anti-sexual assault victims/etc in his non-reviews

There’s an interesting parallel(or direct linkage) with how collapsed American movement conservatism is, too.

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Friday, 6 January 2023 20:18 (one year ago) link

he's collapsed so badly as a writer

This ... or else he doesn't have editors who are willing to help him out anymore. There's always that possibility too.

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Friday, 6 January 2023 20:23 (one year ago) link

It’s my own fault for clicking on this thread but, much like Kanye, I just wish an air conditioner would fall on his head so I didn’t have to hear about him anymore

castanuts (DJP), Friday, 6 January 2023 22:03 (one year ago) link

It’s not even like the niche relevance he at one time had is there anymore. He just exists so dicks can say “look, we got one on our side who’s Black AND gay!” He’s the platonic ideal of a token and we’d all be better off if we stopped paying attention to him.

castanuts (DJP), Friday, 6 January 2023 22:05 (one year ago) link

otm

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 January 2023 22:13 (one year ago) link

I posted an excerpt from his EO review in the Polish film thread. A+ mania, in which a Polish donkey is uncovered as a co-conspirator in the "the Biden age."

https://www.nationalreview.com/2022/12/eo-a-fable-of-the-great-reset/

clemenza, Saturday, 7 January 2023 22:31 (one year ago) link

"Enjoy the rock ’n’ roll and beware the derangement syndrome." I love this line. I don't know what it means, but I intend to use it, maybe on anyone I see listening to music.

gjoon1, Sunday, 8 January 2023 12:46 (one year ago) link

would spoonerize

one month passes...

Armond gets in some more "Better Thans..." under the guise of reviewing Truffaut deep cut Blus

https://www.nationalreview.com/2023/02/the-truffaut-touch-and-touchstones/

I really don't want to give him clicks.

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 26 February 2023 06:34 (one year ago) link

four months pass...

Why did Spielberg abandon Indiana Jones? Not directing Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny — Spielberg was busy ruining West Side Story and fabricating The Fabelmans, instead — makes for the sorriest news of parental neglect since millionaire influence-peddler Hunter Biden got his child support reduced.

fair but so uncool beliefs here (Eric H.), Friday, 7 July 2023 17:40 (nine months ago) link

he goes after Spielberg like a scorned psychotic ex-lover. talk about a guy whose criticism says everything about him and nil about his subjects...

omar little, Friday, 7 July 2023 18:03 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

A fine new entry

Perfect, Robert Davi. A portrait of strength. https://t.co/G5vAwRKGXE

— Armond White (@3xchair) August 25, 2023

fair but so uncool beliefs here (Eric H.), Friday, 25 August 2023 02:24 (eight months ago) link

So many miniature American tragedies playing out in real time as they fall for that dude, and Armond would be another one if he wasn't already kind of a dickhead.

omar little, Friday, 25 August 2023 02:33 (eight months ago) link

Tagging catturd2 and, instead, settling for Arm0nd is just one of those moments that make life worth living

fair but so uncool beliefs here (Eric H.), Friday, 25 August 2023 02:37 (eight months ago) link

Maybe he can compile a special Better-Than list for famous mug shots.

clemenza, Friday, 25 August 2023 02:48 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Unfollowed him on Twitter, finally

50 Best Fellas (Eric H.), Thursday, 28 September 2023 02:47 (six months ago) link

two weeks pass...

The teens in TikTok clips who pitifully bounce and sing along with the film’s pre-recorded concert are the flip side of those nerds and sociopaths who lined up for The Dark Knight Rises ...

OK, sure.

... in Aurora, Colo.

oh.

Dwigt Rortugal (Eric H.), Wednesday, 18 October 2023 14:53 (six months ago) link

dude is deeply unwell, just an actually mentally ill man ineptly weaponized by the right wing

omar little, Wednesday, 18 October 2023 19:03 (six months ago) link

two months pass...

Sharing his "better than" list ONLY because it's now become the most sane thing he does any given year, frankly. (Or closest to sane, anyway.)

John Wick 4 > Oppenheimer

Chad Stahelski climaxed the Keanu Reeves cult franchise with the year’s most visually, kinetically thrilling filmcraft. Movement is the perfect antidote to Christopher Nolan’s no-fun talkathon. Stahelski’s execution of dazzling choreographed combat extended silent-era and movie-musical slapstick — confronting mankind’s capacity for self-defense killing as a sublime moral act. He made antipathetic video-game artifice feel cathartic, unlike a nihilistic pseudo-history. Nolan, as ever, twists national defense into wearying social complexity. Hail the action genre gone nuclear, not pompous.

Rebel Moon > Killers of the Flower Moon

Zack Snyder, Stahelski’s only rival, knows what Godard knew: Myth is how we learn who we are. So Snyder remakes the childish Star Wars series into rousing adult moral lessons, whereas Martin Scorsese succumbs to America’s current self-loathing in his first political film (and first Western)— a bland epic superficially preoccupied with white supremacy. It shows Scorsese learned nothing from John Ford.

All of Us Strangers > Saltburn

Andrew Haigh’s pop-melodrama finds family-based emotion in the erotic awakening of lonely Brit Andrew Scott. Emerald Fennell’s phony analysis of England’s class system attacks the family unit through feminist/sexual transgression. A triumph commemorating Pet Shop Boys sophistication vs. a disaster that perverts a great Pet Shop Boys song.

The Taste of Things > Maestro

Tran Anh Hung’s exquisite re-creation of French culinary dedication practiced by Juliette Binoche and Benoît Magimel. It embarrasses the disingenuous dishonesty of Bradley Cooper’s autograph-hound pseudo-biography that toasts Leonard Bernstein’s political, sexual dissembling as modern virtue.

Winter Boy > May December

Christophe Honoré dares candid semi-autobiography in a coming-of-age story about Paul Kircher’s coming-of–personal responsibility. It bests another dishonest Todd Haynes academic thesis, this time indulging pedophilia as social defiance and artistic audacity.

Asteroid City > Past Lives

Wes Anderson’s sunny, stylized nostalgic adolescent outing recalls America’s natural diversity in the ’50s, back when we believed in social, scientific, and artistic potential. Celine Song’s sad-sack narcissism prefers a tribal, Buddhist excuse for immaturity and social disconnection.

Will-o’-the-Wisp > Barbie

João Pedro Rodrigues interrogates Western art, sex, and politics when Portuguese heir Mauro Costa protests his heritage by becoming a dancing firefighter. This is genuine cultural radicalism, surreal and funny. Unlike Greta Gerwig’s toy-feminism, a marketing coup that sold misandry and ineptitude alongside vapid white privilege — all the more biased in its supporting cast of diversity tokens.

Everything Went Fine > Passages

François Ozon’s broken-family drama in which Sophie Marceau accepts the weirdness of her father André Dussollier as like her own. But Ira Sachs equates queerness with generational selfishness. Healing vs. rupture.

Nobody’s Hero > American Fiction

Alain Guiraudie teases French liberalism when middle-class Jean-Charles Clichet harbors a Muslim terrorist and then falls in love with middle-aged hooker Noémie Lvovksy. Hypocrisy becomes farce whereas Cord Jefferson practices the same racial hypocrisy as the black pathology trend of American lit that he pretends to satirize. Deep vs. shallow.

Full River Red > Origin and Rustin

Zhang Yimou’s visually stunning ode to China’s warrior history is a movie to marvel at and heed. Ava DuVernay extolling Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor’s intellectual research into the global “root causes” of American racism is off-the-charts ludicrous. So is George Wolfe’s inadvertent civil-rights-era comedy Rustin. Strong, artful patriotism vs. Hollywood weakness.

Full Time > The Holdovers

Eric Gravel’s empathy with Laure Calamy’s stressed young mother seeking pride and self-sufficiency teaches something real and non-cliché about working-class identity to indie-movie smarty-pants Alexander Payne.

The Crime Is Mine > Poor Things

François Ozon’s delirious feminist farce captures the inanity of the #MeToo movement. His cinematic and theatrical artifice goes back through the history of sexual duplicity, while art fraud Yorgos Lanthimos defends feminist hypocrisy in his odious sexual horror comedy.

Thanksgiving > Oppenheimer, Killers of the Flower Moon, Barbie

Eli Roth has made the first movie to evoke J6, not shying away from how national chaos was distorted and misunderstood by mainstream corporate media. Brash, hilarious Roth satirizes American self-destruction, leaving Nolan, Scorsese, and Gerwig with moral and ideological blood on their hands.

stephen miller is not your friend (Eric H.), Friday, 5 January 2024 16:28 (three months ago) link

I agree more than I disagree!

poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 5 January 2024 16:29 (three months ago) link

All of Us Strangers > Saltburn

I'd say this is not a contrarian take but my Twitter and Letterboxd feeds disagree.

stephen miller is not your friend (Eric H.), Friday, 5 January 2024 16:33 (three months ago) link

Certainly Nobody's Hero, Everything Went Fine, and Will-o’-the-Wisp deserve more mentions.

Wonder how the NRO crowd will dig the oral sex sequence in Will-o’-the-Wisp.

poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 5 January 2024 16:38 (three months ago) link

Almost fitting that they'll chase it down with the decapitations of Thanksgiving, really

Wack Snyder (Eric H.), Friday, 5 January 2024 16:39 (three months ago) link

Eli Roth has made the first movie to evoke J6, not shying away from how national chaos was distorted and misunderstood by mainstream corporate media.

if I hold up this sentence in front of a mirror will it make more sense or

poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 5 January 2024 16:41 (three months ago) link

the closer you were to get to understanding that, the more I'd worry about you

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 5 January 2024 22:16 (three months ago) link

Pairing Asteroid City with Past Lives is so ridiculous, it's intriguing. It's also ridiculous.

clemenza, Friday, 5 January 2024 22:46 (three months ago) link

(I won't even get into his valuation of their relative worth.)

clemenza, Friday, 5 January 2024 22:58 (three months ago) link

A little disappointed he didn't have Sound of Freedom > Zone of Interest or Chicken Run II or something...

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 January 2024 00:15 (three months ago) link

Super Mario Bros. > Occupied City

underwater as a compliment (Eazy), Saturday, 6 January 2024 08:20 (three months ago) link

Lady Ballers > Orlando, My Political Biography

Wack Snyder (Eric H.), Saturday, 6 January 2024 15:15 (three months ago) link


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