The sound of 300 pounds of lard banging against the wall...

Alternatively, to embarrass her into shutting the fuck up during intercourse, do a very loud impression of her while she's screaming. You know, one that's OTM and that she's bound to hear. Hopefully, if she has any sense of self-respect at all, she'll start trying to be a bit quieter. The slapping you probably can't get rid of. Apart from if you use my napalm suggestion.

My roommate is very depressed and has no money. Penthouse was his largest employer and they went under earlier this year. He gets his girlfriend to pay for everything, which is why he is with her, I think.

I'm just mainly looking for a way to tell them to be quiet. And don't think that I'm some selfish asshole: my other roommate is this French girl and she's just as disgusted by it. But she's way too timid to ever do anything.

1) Immediately after the first time I heard them go at it so loudly, my roommate walks upstairs and knocks on my door. I open it. He's standing there in his boxers. "Uhhh, can I bum a smoke?" he asks.

2) Two nights ago they're doing it loudly again. "Oh my ga-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d!" she's yelling while getting shoved against a wall or something. Afterwards she and my roommate go into the kitchen to make food. My door is closed but I can hear them talking. "Should we put cinnamon or marshmallows on that?" he asks. "Both!" she exclaims. WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY MAKING???

Another weird note: Last night she was screaming at the top of her lungs: "FUCK YOU MCFLY!" Are they doing some sort of Back to the Future roleplaying thing???

that guy has such a great job tho!

And I lvoed the hog splitter - about the first time I've used to net for anything related to work all week.

Very funny thread.

I am also kind of lost as to why the weight of this guy's girlfriend was even mentioned. It doesn't lend your argument any weight and it makes you sound like an asshole who deserves to be annoyed (which you very well may be).

second para spot on. (although, nb, i dont think yancey is an asshole.)

james, this is sub-trifeian at best.

It's a nuisance more than anything. I'm not really pissed off about it. It's a bit annoying, but also funny. I'm not home very much, so I've been avoiding dealing with it, hoping it would just somehow go away.

As to the weight thing: Yeah, it was crude of me to mention (the thread title was supposed to be a grabber more than anything), but I wanted to mention this weird thing they have with food (all the junk food I found her with one night and the completely strange cooking thing they were doing earlier this week). The weight wasn't neccessary for that, but I thought it was an entertaining addition. Anyway, sorry to those who I offended with that. I'm no weightist, promise!

Yes they are annoying. Why make an issue of the girls weight other than to compound your point? Because you are seeking to use prejudice as a way to re-enforce your arguement.

The Fruit Loops/Ice Cream/Oreos image suggests this might be the case, and in which case FUCKING GROSS.

This thread gets funnier.

i do have to admire the fact that you're at least honest about your prejudice and don't try to disguise it as some "concern for the health and wellfare of the obese" bullshit.

if you're going to come in and attempt (consciously or otherwise) to alienate many of the regulars of this board, i suggest fucking right back off to whatever little whole of the internet you crawled out of.

haha so jess we doing this calvin klein shoot tomorrow or what?

So despises is a better word, Aaron? Perhaps loathes?

jess and alex are the only ones talking sense on this entire thread.

Visually/aesthetically obesity can be unattractive. It's wrong (or presumptuous) to blame the fat person for being fat, however, and then to hold it against him. But if I note an attitude of carelessness on that person's part with regard to the weight problem, I will find it unbecoming in the same way I find a person's abuse of drugs unbecoming. Lazy, reckless, indulgent behavior. But ultimately just a character flaw like any other, not some sort of damanble offense.

Second: He hears the slapping which I assume is caused by the sex act itself and not ass-slapping over the course of this. But in either case this slapping noise would be louder with a heavier person, again adding to the annoyance factor.

In other words, I don't think we should just be like "fuck fucking fatties dumb fat fucks" (/cartman) but y'know there was actually some relevance to this information.

Making too much noise doing anything in shared accomodation *is* rude if it's in the middle of the night - sex is no exception. I think there's an added thrill of faux-illicitness in trying to keep it quiet, anyway, but my tastes don't run to "FUCK YOU MCFLY!"

I'm with Jess and Alex on the fat thing, generally. Anti-fat prejudice does not however equate to the holocaust - I wish people would think before posting stuff like that cos it's waving a big sign around saying "HEY EVERYONE DONT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!". Mind you that's what Ian, Aaron etc. have been doing too, so fair's fair.

can i just say that i really feel bad for yancey having to now be associated with what this turned into?

hehehe! good answer!

poor old yancey, bet he wishes he'd never started this thread! fwiw, i think they're being pretty thoughtless, shared accomodation is a difficult one. i have been very lucky in that i have lived with considerate people (even the spiritualist one in arsenal was considerate), and never had any kind of problem, certainly nothing along these lines. in these circumstances i would be looking to move out. not specifically because of this, but you don't get on with the guy anyway, so i'd want to go and live with people i might actually converse with, and stuff

"Thanksgiving is just around the corner and the meal at my house
is never complete without this casserole on the table. Everyone
loves this dish, even those who won't touch regular old sweet
potatoes. Try it for yourself and see!

Ingredients:

3 cups mashed sweet potatoes
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup butter, melted
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Topping:
combine: 1 cup brown sugar
1/2 stick butter
1/3 cup flour
1/2 to 1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup miniature marshmellows

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Boil the potatoes whole until tender. Remove and let cool
completely.

After the potatoes are cooled, put them in a large bowl and
mash them as you would regular potatoes.

Add the rest of the ingredients.

Pour into a large buttered baking dish.

Cover the potatoes with the topping of your choice.

Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes."

Last night I wasn't home very much, so I didn't hear anything. They were microwaving peach cobbler though.

As for everyone getting so pissy with me... Jesus. I really have no idea what to say. Obviously I annoyed some with those bits and some people then blew them completely the fuck out of proportion. Those of you who chastised me in a civil way, I apologize. The rest of you assholes bitching at me, Go fuck yourselves. And I mean that in a very endearing way.

I suggest entering the kitchen slapping 2 pork chops together and screaming like a porn starlet whilst they are cooking. Just to raise the subject

(this is not to say that ernest's isn't a good suggestion. just that a thread is usually over by the time of the sub-carlin anonymous dicking about.)

(and i feel bad for yancey.)

Yeah, it sucks how this blew up. Oh well.

As to fattism generally, I know there are anti-fattist pressure groups and everything - we *do* appraise based on appearance and that should be combatted whenever possible but STILL, 1am fridge raids are gross (mitigating factor: stoned people DO get the munchies). If the woman really does tip the scales at 300lbs I'd be worried about her health.

Jess, try not to be so touchy about what mall rats say to your girlfriend; I know you love her and karma rewards these people generally.

I have worked with people like you Jess, and if you get into positions of power, you have the ability to rip the spirit out of an organisation, sanitising all forms of wit where posible, in case it offends someone somewhere.

People with good sense of humour have the ability to poke fun at themselves also, and dont take stuff as seriousely as you. And after all your PC talk, you then have a go at someone for being british....I bet you take the Mel Gibson Movies as a history lesson.

If you want to fuck fat, do it, if you want to be fat, be fat, and be happy, and laff back at the thin people who feel sorry for you, because their skin nornally wrinkles prematurerly, and are often constipated, and live their life around the Gym and the Mirror

I am overweight, and I dont give a shit, My friends call me fat bastard, I always take it with a smiling face, and get them back later with a sharp cutting comment, that is very satisfying.

It doesnt matter, its funny, but realise one thing, Fat is beautiful in the eye of the beholder, but Fat people look better in baggy clothes to the majority, therefore just as if I were to go out in a lycra Tshirt, I would get stared / laughed at, your partner will get the same in her cropped top. Dont test the world by being too different, if you cant take the worlds response.

Regards

Overwieght Scottish bloke currently eating a delicious pot of Hagen Daaz at 2.30am

Go watch Braveheart again

Asshole

Sweaty Betty
...She's got a huge Vagina
Sweaty Betty
....Yer can get a bus inside her

Sing along now lard lovers

I think it's funny and sad that you lot are coming from the AFC Wimbledon board, which offers a pretty good (inspiring, even) lesson in what happens when people don't just meekly take what other people decide they have coming to them and decide to kick up a fuss about how they're treated. Nobody's deleted or censored Yancey's post or anyone else's, it's still there. Plenty of people agreed with it. Jess and others just argued with it and good for them. Oh, sorry, I forgot, "Don't test the world by being too different" - yeah, don't show any spirit, stick to cheap laughs down the pub, mock the weak and brown-nose the strong. "I have worked with people like you" - I'm sure most of us could say the same, David Brent.

Sieg Heil Mr Wallace

Hmmm Can anyone guess what Jess does for a living....answers on a postcard

(sorry, Yancey, you had no way to predict)

Shutting up now.

I am going to use "Fuck Me Like This All Night Long" though, it sounds like something a computer would say. A fat computer.

evil enough for u? i can think of more......

I have a hypothesis that the only PC defense to being called an [x] -ist is "I'M [X]!!!!"

Not:

some of my best friends are [x]
my wife is [x]
my ex-wife is [x]
I used to be [x]
I'm [y] (even where [y] may share some attributes of [x]) but the person could not truthfully say "I'm [x]"

I have tested this hypothesis by forcing myself to say "I'M [x]" whenever someone accuses me of [x] -ism. Often, the result is preposterous, so I then have to deal with the resultant confusion and offense to others. The hope is that these punishments will train me not to say things that offend others gratutitously. (If I insult someone, I like to think that I did so intentionally and with good reason.) So if I say something idiotic, by all means call me on it. Anyway, as usual, that's more than you care to know about me. Byeee!

whoops, my bad tom. christ, that IS depressing then, innit?
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), November 15th, 2002

(*excepting lou reed, of course.)

I can however appreciate the fact that a fat person will always make a lot of noise when having sex by virtue of the fact that they have to enjoy it to max whenever they get a chance to do it. The fact that its understandable doesn't make it acceptable.

If it were my flat, I'd have the balls to tell them to keep quite or fuck off.

Mind you - if she were a beautiful blonde with big breasts - I'd possitively encourage it. But that's because I'm shallow.

http://talk.thefridaything.co.uk/cgi-bin/ikonboard.cgi?s=3dd784c979b2ffff;act=ST;f=4;t=1487

He's moving out

ooooh no! now i am SCARRED FOR LIFE. i couldn't help reading it...
*sobs*

-- jess

Overweight Scottish bloke? HAS to be

omg. that is fn hilarious, I'd post it to the excelsior thread but it must be in an earlier incarnation. But if you laugh at nothing else today, it must be this, or that photo of the freaked out baby.

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), November 15th, 2002 12:27 AM.

4 years later and NOPE

Old housemates were shagging all the time, it was annoying. I soon put a stop to it by playing Gilbert and Sullivan at them. It's impossible to remain horny with Pirates of Penzance blasting out.

Fat people generally are that way because they don't use common sense when eating. "Eat until your body can hold no more, clean your plate even if there's more there than you should eat, this is a buffet get your money's worth."
Yeah.
Will be happier in Japan.
Less grossly fat people.

I DON'T LIKE FAT FAT FAT PEOPLE. Slightly heavy people are a different story.
However, that's rare as hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSN7UPJXTtg

gear's thread is way better.

LET'S SEE THE STUDIES THAT PROVE THIS

http://www.kampfsport-online.com/Japan/Sumo/sumo.h4.jpg

Welcome to our country.
Now piss off.

Ipso Fatso

nobody got cancer

QED!

Not that they aren't gross...

In any case, second hand smoke is overblown, I already said I was OUTSIDE, and as such only making myself less healthy.

SO. She's a fatass, and should be treated as such.

Fat people nowadays somehow trying to ride the coattails of actual minority groups to make themselves feel good about their fattness disgusts me even more than seeing them teach their children to be fat.
Does that sentence need a semicolon?
THEY SHOULD NOT FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR PHYSICAL SELVES. Unless they've actually stuck to a prescribed dietery plan given to them by a physician, exercised, and somehow were still unable to lose weight.

Why, because it just came out of your colon?

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Don't hide behind an excuse for your thread title you fatist fucker. "i'm sorry! I didn't realise I gassed all those Jews!"
-- Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, November 15, 2002 12:07 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

I'm sorry, you can't make the statement that you're not weightist after that thread header. That was a casual insult, delivered without thought of the offence it may cause. Simply put, you cannot attack someone on those grounds unless you're prepared to stick to your guns and say "I fucking hate fat people, they revolt me". If, as I gather, your problem is more with the noisy sex then fine, that's annoying. But you can't shrug off discrimination like that with a simple "I was trying to get peoples attention". Tolerance is not selective, accept, or don't. Or possibly grow the fuck up.
-- Matt (Matt), Friday, November 15, 2002 12:10 AM (4 years ago)

;_;

I've just been drawn to this thread as I've been woken up at 5am in the morning by one of my housemates moaning somewhat too loudly.

I think Gilded... has a point in that obesity is one of the largest problems we face in society today. There is a precisely defined medical cut off line for obesity and any person who is clinically overweight should learn the following- firstly how to develop a healthy mindset so that they may deal with scenarios which may bring their obesity and body image into question; secondly, how to actually combat their obesity (if you are clinically obese this is NOT a healthy body state and you may be shortening your lifespan considerably); thirdly the consequences you have on other people, most importantly your children if you have any. If an obese parent is lazy enough to instill the same attitude towards food in their children they are effectively destroying their own child's life.
In summary, if you are clinically obese, DON'T try and pretend it's fine and dandy by accusing people who raise the issue of insensitivity.
If you're not and you think you're fat, listen to the men in your life who say that you're not. They are right when they say you are beautiful.

Back on topic, while I was writing this comment (accompanied by the oh so disgusting sounds of my housemate in the next room), said housemate's parents came over to visit. They were let into the house and came straight up to her room. Suffice to say that the words "This is your mother. Your father, grandmother and I shall be waiting downstairs for you" have probably scarred her for life!

Also, issue sorted!

I am really disappointed this thread title wasn't literal. I've dropped 50 lb. bricks of lard onto tile floors before and it makes the most fascinating SCHLOPPPP sound. So I thought, 'Wow, this will be a great description! Three-HUNDRED pounds of lard, hurled with enough velocity to hit a wall. That sound's gotta be EPIC!"

I don't care about others' weight, it's none of my business. And I find hearing roommates' sex, while not exciting, revealing and somewhat entertaining. For example, once my roommate was fucking a waitress in the next room over (he went through waitresses pretty fast and soon ran out of breakfast joints). She kept yelling "I LOVE YOU!!!" and he shouted back "I KNOW!"

God, being fat isn't as destructive as some other bad habits, like smoking or being an asshole.

This j0n sounds like a pleasant, helpful guy.

he went through waitresses pretty fast and soon ran out of breakfast joints

This is a story in and of itself, clearly.

(he went through waitresses pretty fast and soon ran out of breakfast joints)

^^^worse than running out of strip clubs.

Another weird note: Last night she was screaming at the top of her lungs: "FUCK YOU MCFLY!" Are they doing some sort of Back to the Future roleplaying thing???

― Yancey (ystrickler), Thursday, November 14, 2002 5:04 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYT_t5y_9Qg

She kept yelling "I LOVE YOU!!!" and he shouted back "I KNOW!"

^^300 pounds of lols

"FUCK YOU MCFLY!!!"
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/16/Mcfly_London2012_party.jpg/800px-Mcfly_London2012_party.jpg